FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Couples wanting to 'borrow' Alice...
Couples wanting to 'borrow' Alice...
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...hello good people of the forums.
Andy here, we've had a few people recently asking if they can 'borrow' Alice and not play with us as a couple.
A few couples and also some single guys have asked.
This is not something we're into as swinging for us is a joint experience, we enjoy watching each other having sex with other people and also helping each other out. You know, swinging.
We've discussed it and it's not something that really interests either of us, playing away.
My question is this... Should I be offended?!!
Because it actually irritates me a bit.
Maybe we need to make it clearer on our profile, but I just presume that as we have a couples profile, we come as a package.
Isn't it a bit cheeky?
Anybody had anything similar?
Do I just need to lighten up a bit? :o)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Make it clear on your profile that you only play together , no exceptions .
There are lots of couples on here who play separately so without saying you don't , there will be a presumption .
We thought the same as you guys when we first joined that it was a no brainer that we only play together . It didn't take us long to realise that this isn't the case  |
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How do "you" actually feel about it offended or not? It's fine to feel that way, there is no official way you're supposed to feel about anything that happens during swinging.
Nobody has ever asked to meet either of us alone but if they did they would be told no and swiftly blocked I suggest you do the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally we think it is cheeky.
Unless a profile specifically mentions that the couple plays separately then the sensible assumption is that they play as a couple only.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest I think that it's a bit like advertising that works...
Your photos are obviously chosen to highlight Alice, and to make her look sexy and available - so perhaps you shouldn't be surprised if that's all that people see...
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"...hello good people of the forums.
Andy here, we've had a few people recently asking if they can 'borrow' Alice and not play with us as a couple.
A few couples and also some single guys have asked.
This is not something we're into as swinging for us is a joint experience, we enjoy watching each other having sex with other people and also helping each other out. You know, swinging.
We've discussed it and it's not something that really interests either of us, playing away.
My question is this... Should I be offended?!!
Because it actually irritates me a bit.
Maybe we need to make it clearer on our profile, but I just presume that as we have a couples profile, we come as a package.
Isn't it a bit cheeky?
Anybody had anything similar?
Do I just need to lighten up a bit? :o)
"
Not sure u need to lighten up but have to accept there are lots of single men on here and your partner is stunning. This is known to u cos outta 32 pics you are only on 4....so clearly the bait is your partner!!! |
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"Tbf, I'd like to borrow Alice! She's hot!!
Just ignore it, people don't always read profiles. Delete and block those who are rude xx"
Haha... I'd be surprisingly 'OK' with it if you let me watch you 'borrow' Alice??! :o) |
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It's rude.
Your profile refers to you as a couple, you describe 'what we want' etc.
No mention of playing separately. It's quite clear what you are looking for.
So why should people contact you to ask for something that you are not looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've had this, they've asked to meet me and not tell B , as he will never know apparently. We only play together with men and couples so we just find it amusing. I usually get B to reply to them.
They should look for couples that do play that way and not assume it's for everyone. But many don't read profiles.
Sarah |
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"...hello good people of the forums.
Andy here, we've had a few people recently asking if they can 'borrow' Alice and not play with us as a couple.
A few couples and also some single guys have asked.
This is not something we're into as swinging for us is a joint experience, we enjoy watching each other having sex with other people and also helping each other out. You know, swinging.
We've discussed it and it's not something that really interests either of us, playing away.
My question is this... Should I be offended?!!
Because it actually irritates me a bit.
Maybe we need to make it clearer on our profile, but I just presume that as we have a couples profile, we come as a package.
Isn't it a bit cheeky?
Anybody had anything similar?
Do I just need to lighten up a bit? :o)
Not sure u need to lighten up but have to accept there are lots of single men on here and your partner is stunning. This is known to u cos outta 32 pics you are only on 4....so clearly the bait is your partner!!!"
Not sure what your point is?
Obviously I understand that. I wasn't having a go at ALL single men?
There are loads of great single blokes on here.
I just don't think it's cool that some of them ask to borrow my wife? This is a swinging website, no? Not tinder!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are definitely a hot looking couple, that's for sure.
Take those kind of messages with a pinch of salt and don't let it get to you.
It might be banter, it might be tongue and cheek it might even be opportunistic retards who can't read profiles but either way don't let it bring you down  |
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Thanks for the advice, lovely people.
Think I will re-word our profile a bit, and make it more clearer.
I also agree that it's a bit cheeky though.
Not really sure that it's my fault either because I have more pictures of Alice than myself on our profile? Does that make her more 'available'?
No, it just means she photographs a lot better than I do!
Also, I'm always the one behind the camera and adore taking pics of her because she's beautiful.
Maybe I should put a few more of me up, but we might need someone to come and take pics of both of us, as we don't find Alice taking pics of me as much fun!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tbf, I'd like to borrow Alice! She's hot!!
Just ignore it, people don't always read profiles. Delete and block those who are rude xx
Haha... I'd be surprisingly 'OK' with it if you let me watch you 'borrow' Alice??! :o) "
Yep! I'm up for that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Firstly you should be flattered that others find her highly attractive..
Followed by the realisation that it doesn't extend to you... 
Tbh it's cheeky and there are a lot on here who profess to be 'non pushy' but are exactly the opposite when they see something they want..
It's also a great filter |
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
"Thanks for the advice, lovely people.
Think I will re-word our profile a bit, and make it more clearer.
I also agree that it's a bit cheeky though.
Not really sure that it's my fault either because I have more pictures of Alice than myself on our profile? Does that make her more 'available'?
No, it just means she photographs a lot better than I do!
Also, I'm always the one behind the camera and adore taking pics of her because she's beautiful.
Maybe I should put a few more of me up, but we might need someone to come and take pics of both of us, as we don't find Alice taking pics of me as much fun!
"
Your both quite photogenic, at least you have some pics of the both of you some people don't.
Like you and some other people have said just make it on your profile either they want both of you or none at all |
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Hahaha...
Thanks for the offers guys. :o)
And yes, I meant to say, I do find it flattering when people find Alice attractive, and I love her being desired. Obviously, you'd struggle on a swinging website otherwise!
It just takes the piss a bit. Ha!
And thank you for saying I'm not a monster, JJStaffs! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the advice, lovely people.
Think I will re-word our profile a bit, and make it more clearer.
I also agree that it's a bit cheeky though.
Not really sure that it's my fault either because I have more pictures of Alice than myself on our profile? Does that make her more 'available'?
No, it just means she photographs a lot better than I do!
Also, I'm always the one behind the camera and adore taking pics of her because she's beautiful.
Maybe I should put a few more of me up, but we might need someone to come and take pics of both of us, as we don't find Alice taking pics of me as much fun!
"
Forget that, most people won't read your profile - it's all about the message filters my man.
No unverifieds, no newbies, no people without pictures and that generally stops the flow of crap you'll otherwise get |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't have a problem if people ask us on our couples profile if we play alone. If we like the look of them then we just move the discussion to our singles profile.
I often ask couples if they have their own singles profile to sound out if they'll play separately. Sometimes I just say to them 'do you play separately?' because I generally don't want to play with couples who will only play together.
It's only rude if you ask in a rude way, or you're rude about the answer given. I see no problem with a polite enquiry - just delete and block if it's not to your taste.
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If it's written on a profile that a couple only play together then I think it's disrespectful to ask as they either haven't read the profile or are ignoring your preference.
If it's not written on then it may be a little cheeky but I don't think there's any harm in asking although using the word borrow I would find slightly offensive. It's usually me on this profile and I make my own decisions on who I meet! R |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't be offended if I were you as you seem a nice chap and well suited with Alice. I don't have any issue playing with a couple but at the same time I've played solo with a Mrs from a couple (their choice) |
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"...hello good people of the forums.
Andy here, we've had a few people recently asking if they can 'borrow' Alice and not play with us as a couple.
A few couples and also some single guys have asked.
This is not something we're into as swinging for us is a joint experience, we enjoy watching each other having sex with other people and also helping each other out. You know, swinging.
We've discussed it and it's not something that really interests either of us, playing away.
My question is this... Should I be offended?!!
Because it actually irritates me a bit.
Maybe we need to make it clearer on our profile, but I just presume that as we have a couples profile, we come as a package.
Isn't it a bit cheeky?
Anybody had anything similar?
Do I just need to lighten up a bit? :o)
"
It's happened us couple of times on our main profile which has mostly pics of her too and it not only offends but also immediate block! And another pet peeve is they messaging you as if they talking to a single woman! At the end of the day anyone who wants to meet your other half alone has zero respect for her or her relationship so best take it as a good thing cos now you know who these tests are so they can be blocked! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's cheeky. We used to have it on our profile that we only played together and it didn't stop people asking to play with just me (Courtney). Oddly enough, though, it was mostly single women who would message asking if I would play with them without Marc. |
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My experience is, no matter how clear and well written a profile is, there are always going to be those who will ignore it forever what reason. Unfortunately it is just part and parcel of the Fab experience. The only thing you can do is ignore and move onto those that do interest you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Alice can borrow me anytime!
But seriously and this is speaking as a single bloke it is definitely taking the mick and has absolutely nothing to do with swinging.
On the plus side you've both probably now got a few hundred new admirers...hopefully the right ones ! |
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