FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > All up for meeting then go cold
All up for meeting then go cold
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Is it just me or do you find it highly annoying when people say they are up for a meet then go cold.
You chat wiv them for a while then exchange friends requests then nothing.
Even ignore your mail when ask is all ok???  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Annoying? No, I guess they either have things going on, lose their nerve or change their mind. It's the way of this kind of thing. Just focus on the ones who don't  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes had that already and even been blocked by them. some people dont make sense  "
It's true, but then people are often illogical and don't make sense so expect it to happen over and over lol
Just been perving your arse by the way  |
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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago
inverclyde |
i have that as well was supposed to meet a guy l;ast week it never went ahead, supposed to be meeting tonight sent a text yesterday to find out we are meeting and no reply ......... so so keen to meet so he says lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i have that as well was supposed to meet a guy l;ast week it never went ahead, supposed to be meeting tonight sent a text yesterday to find out we are meeting and no reply ......... so so keen to meet so he says lol"
Lost nerve I reckon - lots of the old all mouth and no trousers on here lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i have that as well was supposed to meet a guy l;ast week it never went ahead, supposed to be meeting tonight sent a text yesterday to find out we are meeting and no reply ......... so so keen to meet so he says lol
Lost nerve I reckon - lots of the old all mouth and no trousers on here lol"
We meet folk.... all be it late and in shite pubs lol!! xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think a lot of people are putting their toe in the water on here and although keen to experience meets, when faced with the reality get cold feet. Don't think this type of person is necessarily being malicious.
I also think their are a number who have not portrayed a true picture of themselves, and the realisation of being found out on a meet hits home. Some may have just exagerated certain features (endowment, use of old pictures), whereas others have simply lied by maybe saying they are a couple when only a single etc.
I think it's just part of being on any type of introduction site. It will reflect a percentage of the insecure, the naive and the dishonest, just like in the wider society.
That said, some just simply change their mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a lot of people are putting their toe in the water on here and although keen to experience meets, when faced with the reality get cold feet. Don't think this type of person is necessarily being malicious.
I also think their are a number who have not portrayed a true picture of themselves, and the realisation of being found out on a meet hits home. Some may have just exagerated certain features (endowment, use of old pictures), whereas others have simply lied by maybe saying they are a couple when only a single etc.
I think it's just part of being on any type of introduction site. It will reflect a percentage of the insecure, the naive and the dishonest, just like in the wider society.
That said, some just simply change their mind. "
This guy has it spot on...but I agree it is very annoying lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a lot of people are putting their toe in the water on here and although keen to experience meets, when faced with the reality get cold feet. Don't think this type of person is necessarily being malicious.
I also think their are a number who have not portrayed a true picture of themselves, and the realisation of being found out on a meet hits home. Some may have just exagerated certain features (endowment, use of old pictures), whereas others have simply lied by maybe saying they are a couple when only a single etc.
I think it's just part of being on any type of introduction site. It will reflect a percentage of the insecure, the naive and the dishonest, just like in the wider society.
That said, some just simply change their mind. "
Couldn't agree more.
I think a lot of people like the idea of having casual sex with strangers, but the reality is often something different for some.
There are those that talk a good game, but when the reality of a meet is there: they become insecure and unsure.
I always have a social, no pressure meet in a public place so that the other person is relaxed and comfortable. Funny thing is I never get nervous or feel insecure because I've not made myself out to be anything I'm not, and I'm not the one that's going to be tied up and blindfolded! 
If I'm unable to set up a meet I don't waste another second on that person. The men I play with are often very busy, I understand that, but no one is too busy for a coffee, and where I work in London I'm literally on top of the busiest train station...all rails lead here, so if they can't make it...toodles!
However, people are allowed to change their mind: just because they've spoken to you it's not a guarantee of a meet. Don't waste time wondering about the whys when there are so many other people to play with.
As my man Jay-Z says: on to the next one!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is my first post so i hope i get it right.
I think alot of people like the thought of being able to get a meet and when they finally get it they get the buzz and all the adrenalin but once that wears off and they think about it, and what there going to to it scares them, because if they've talked it they kinda got do what they said they were going to do.
Plus if its a guy they more likely wanked over it then once they have cum they think straight for like 2 mins lol, and decided that was enough just the thought.
Im not saying thats right not to not turn up, as i think everyone is allowed to change there mind, but if you/they have changed there mind im sure the other person will understand so tell them instead of no comms at all, its the same as if you did turn up and change your mind and said i cant do it there should be no pressure or abuse. Like others have said probably best to meet not on a sexual thing to begin with so there no pressure to do a thing.
But we all different and do things differently im quite easy going so if someone said they cant id be cool with it, but to just ignore someone it seems like you have just been used a lil, i think you could be forgiven for doing it once but not twice! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's a lot of newbies that have never done this before so are probably very nervous so may pull out but ive had to cancel meets in the past we all have it happens I let them know and rearrange but you will find some who are simply here to talk the talk and nothing else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is my first post so i hope i get it right.
I think alot of people like the thought of being able to get a meet and when they finally get it they get the buzz and all the adrenalin but once that wears off and they think about it, and what there going to to it scares them, because if they've talked it they kinda got do what they said they were going to do.
Plus if its a guy they more likely wanked over it then once they have cum they think straight for like 2 mins lol, and decided that was enough just the thought.
Im not saying thats right not to not turn up, as i think everyone is allowed to change there mind, but if you/they have changed there mind im sure the other person will understand so tell them instead of no comms at all, its the same as if you did turn up and change your mind and said i cant do it there should be no pressure or abuse. Like others have said probably best to meet not on a sexual thing to begin with so there no pressure to do a thing.
But we all different and do things differently im quite easy going so if someone said they cant id be cool with it, but to just ignore someone it seems like you have just been used a lil, i think you could be forgiven for doing it once but not twice!"
Nice first post, and welcome to the forums. Now you've taken the plunge, do join in...nice to see new people.
Erm...do you have a bum pic?!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sometimes you are up for a meet but then something can happen like they become pushy or hassle you again and again or they just act a tad desprate
i really liked someone on here and with the amount of times he hassled me i decided to say no thanks
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thanks sassy and just for you i will try and sort out a bum pic for you.
This is my first post but ive been on here years ive yet to meet from here but have met from a diff site, ive spoke to alot on phone and on webcam but for some reason ive never been verified im not sure if thats my fault as ive never asked anyone too and kinda thought it was up to someone else to decide if they want to leave it or not.
Its a thin line i think between hassling and just trying to make it still look like you are interested as if you go quiet it seems like not interested and if too much seems like your desperate, but either way still nice to say no thanks then just be ignored me thinks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With verification it can be done via phone and cam. If you verified them it's only polite if they do the same sweets sometimes just ask them but some only verify in person x |
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I have lost count of the number of people I have initially been interested in and then changed my mind. It has nothing to do with losing my nerve, it's about finding something which puts me off.
Things which may have put me off include:
A new verification from someone I would not like to have secondhand contact with.
Forum posts about what they think is acceptable sexual behaviour (if I don't), how they treat guests and other revolations.... and including things similar to the Mrs Cornwall thread (purely an example - not an actual).
Something they start asking... if they start asking if I will consider something I have already said no to.
Something they let slip.
Anything else which puts me off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have lost count of the number of people I have initially been interested in and then changed my mind. It has nothing to do with losing my nerve, it's about finding something which puts me off.
Things which may have put me off include:
A new verification from someone I would not like to have secondhand contact with.
Forum posts about what they think is acceptable sexual behaviour (if I don't), how they treat guests and other revolations.... and including things similar to the Mrs Cornwall thread (purely an example - not an actual).
Something they start asking... if they start asking if I will consider something I have already said no to.
Something they let slip.
Anything else which puts me off."
Fussy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have lost count of the number of people I have initially been interested in and then changed my mind. It has nothing to do with losing my nerve, it's about finding something which puts me off.
Things which may have put me off include:
A new verification from someone I would not like to have secondhand contact with.
Forum posts about what they think is acceptable sexual behaviour (if I don't), how they treat guests and other revolations.... and including things similar to the Mrs Cornwall thread (purely an example - not an actual).
Something they start asking... if they start asking if I will consider something I have already said no to.
Something they let slip.
Anything else which puts me off."
Pretty much sums it up for me too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have had similar thing to you polo, where as ive kinda told how i am and how i wont be force to do something i dont want to do, and they have said thats fine you do it how you want, to then be said but when you are there you probably will and as soon as i hear that i think they are still going to try it and it puts me off a lil, but i know what they are on about as when you start something it can lead to more.
And the same with people they have met and other stuff they can say or do, but what one person likes another dislikes. it can be a little of putting |
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"I have lost count of the number of people I have initially been interested in and then changed my mind. It has nothing to do with losing my nerve, it's about finding something which puts me off.
Things which may have put me off include:
A new verification from someone I would not like to have secondhand contact with.
Forum posts about what they think is acceptable sexual behaviour (if I don't), how they treat guests and other revolations.... and including things similar to the Mrs Cornwall thread (purely an example - not an actual).
Something they start asking... if they start asking if I will consider something I have already said no to.
Something they let slip.
Anything else which puts me off.
Fussy"
Yep.
I forgot to mention...
New photos.
Contradicting their own profile.
Becoming boring.
Becoming creepy.
And other things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have lost count of the number of people I have initially been interested in and then changed my mind. It has nothing to do with losing my nerve, it's about finding something which puts me off.
Things which may have put me off include:
A new verification from someone I would not like to have secondhand contact with.
Forum posts about what they think is acceptable sexual behaviour (if I don't), how they treat guests and other revolations.... and including things similar to the Mrs Cornwall thread (purely an example - not an actual).
Something they start asking... if they start asking if I will consider something I have already said no to.
Something they let slip.
Anything else which puts me off.
Pretty much sums it up for me too. "
You're fussy too...bloody women  |
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"I have lost count of the number of people I have initially been interested in and then changed my mind. It has nothing to do with losing my nerve, it's about finding something which puts me off.
Things which may have put me off include:
A new verification from someone I would not like to have secondhand contact with.
Forum posts about what they think is acceptable sexual behaviour (if I don't), how they treat guests and other revolations.... and including things similar to the Mrs Cornwall thread (purely an example - not an actual).
Something they start asking... if they start asking if I will consider something I have already said no to.
Something they let slip.
Anything else which puts me off.
Pretty much sums it up for me too. "
And me too..... |
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"I can only use a fine tipped pen...I have small hands and much to learn  "
This one is important though... so I suggest permanent marker, big letters, across your forehead.
If you can manage writing it backwards so it makes sense in the mirror that would be a bonus. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can only use a fine tipped pen...I have small hands and much to learn
This one is important though... so I suggest permanent marker, big letters, across your forehead.
If you can manage writing it backwards so it makes sense in the mirror that would be a bonus."
He needs help Polo, hence my suggestion of having it tattooed on. Problem solved really! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can only use a fine tipped pen...I have small hands and much to learn
This one is important though... so I suggest permanent marker, big letters, across your forehead.
If you can manage writing it backwards so it makes sense in the mirror that would be a bonus."
Good idea...thank you. I have small hands but a freakishly large head so that should work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmmm...although you've not mentioned who it is, I've read the thread and know who you're talking about. I wouldn't be happy to read this if I were the person involved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything I just wouldn't want to meet someone and have my evening fun played out on here. Or maybe I'm too sensitive? X |
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Can be frustrating but hey ho, goes with the territory so to speak.
Dont understand why some people dont feel able to simply say 'thanks but we are not compatible' after pic sending etc.
Absolutely fine with that, rather know than be 'blanked' cos they are not sure what or how to say it.
Its only manners after all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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just reading the posts not thrning up can annoy ppl but every one has there reasons but then to blank you after is just plain rude i have been stood up on meets and then spoke to the person and what happens then is webchat /phone chat and everyone is happy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes had that already and even been blocked by them. some people dont make sense "
well maybe thay cant handle all others liking you and have to be number 1 xx lolol i know i am that , lololol |
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"yes had that already and even been blocked by them. some people dont make sense well maybe thay cant handle all others liking you and have to be number 1 xx lolol i know i am that , lololol "
May be they just don't want to be in a post pissing contest, who knows. |
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By *LBishCouple
over a year ago
near bury st edmunds |
Had a fare few of them, seems all keen, they was the ones making the first contact, add them to freinds. Even had couples going on and on about cluubs offered to take them, given advice, then they kinda dissapear off the face of the earth. We have checked they still on fab but never again been in contact, very very strange if you ask me. We always say ahh well their loss not ours. xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes had that already and even been blocked by them. some people dont make sense well maybe thay cant handle all others liking you and have to be number 1 xx lolol i know i am that , lololol
May be they just don't want to be in a post pissing contest, who knows."
well me and mr are friends we have fun here thats all i see everyone as number 1 after him , lol he is a lovely man. |
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"Hmmmm...although you've not mentioned who it is, I've read the thread and know who you're talking about
Arrived late as usual "
Don't worry, I had missed it too.
But there's always some kind soul who copies stuff before it vanishes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmmm...although you've not mentioned who it is, I've read the thread and know who you're talking about
Arrived late as usual
Don't worry, I had missed it too.
But there's always some kind soul who copies stuff before it vanishes "
now what did we miss ? i hate missing stuff here ..? |
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"Hmmmm...although you've not mentioned who it is, I've read the thread and know who you're talking about
Arrived late as usual
Don't worry, I had missed it too.
But there's always some kind soul who copies stuff before it vanishes "
Have I told you recently, how much we love you |
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"Is it just me or do you find it highly annoying when people say they are up for a meet then go cold.
You chat wiv them for a while then exchange friends requests then nothing.
Even ignore your mail when ask is all ok??? "
If it’s happening on a regular basis, maybe, just maybe it could be you
In the time we’ve been on here, only one couple refused to meet us after arrangements had been set, they refused saying they were to nervous to go through with the meet, we had no reason to doubt them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmmm...although you've not mentioned who it is, I've read the thread and know who you're talking about
Arrived late as usual "
So do I and probably most of the forums do to.
Not nice but I've a feeling it's sour grapes being said here on their part and maybe just maybe some jealousy as this person had such a great meet. Just my thought sweets |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmmm...although you've not mentioned who it is, I've read the thread and know who you're talking about
Arrived late as usual
Don't worry, I had missed it too.
But there's always some kind soul who copies stuff before it vanishes now what did we miss ? i hate missing stuff here ..?"
I did see it Jo before it disppeared and no names were given but it was obvious who it was about if you read the forums. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmmm...although you've not mentioned who it is, I've read the thread and know who you're talking about
Arrived late as usual
So do I and probably most of the forums do to.
Not nice but I've a feeling it's sour grapes being said here on their part and maybe just maybe some jealousy as this person had such a great meet. Just my thought sweets "
I thought I was the only one thinking along the same lines...  |
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"Hmmmm...although you've not mentioned who it is, I've read the thread and know who you're talking about
Arrived late as usual
Don't worry, I had missed it too.
But there's always some kind soul who copies stuff before it vanishes now what did we miss ? i hate missing stuff here ..?
I did see it Jo before it disppeared and no names were given but it was obvious who it was about if you read the forums."
Ohhh you are talking about the post in this thread... we are talking about the post in the other thread... with the names in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The thread on this post didn't have names in it polo it was for a few mins then went after sassy made a great comment. Not sure if we are taking about the same on x |
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Not nice but I've a feeling it's sour grapes being said here on their part and maybe just maybe some jealousy as this person had such a great meet. Just my thought sweets "
I got the feeling they were making a sensible choice not to meet someone who went too far in another thread. Quite understandable really. No hint of sour grapes or jealousy at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Not nice but I've a feeling it's sour grapes being said here on their part and maybe just maybe some jealousy as this person had such a great meet. Just my thought sweets
I got the feeling they were making a sensible choice not to meet someone who went too far in another thread. Quite understandable really. No hint of sour grapes or jealousy at all. "
Yes I can understand someones choice but to tell us all on here that knowing we would know who it was they were taking about |
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Not nice but I've a feeling it's sour grapes being said here on their part and maybe just maybe some jealousy as this person had such a great meet. Just my thought sweets
I got the feeling they were making a sensible choice not to meet someone who went too far in another thread. Quite understandable really. No hint of sour grapes or jealousy at all.
Yes I can understand someones choice but to tell us all on here that knowing we would know who it was they were taking about "
May be they shouldn't have posted it... But I totally understand the choice they made and there was no hint of jealousy in the actual message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At the end of the day we don't know the real reason why, there's two sides to this story and no one will know the truth. In some ways I agree no I wouldn't want someone discussing what i had done on a meet I would be fucking fuming and a potential meet I'd do the same. But theres a way to do this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Not nice but I've a feeling it's sour grapes being said here on their part and maybe just maybe some jealousy as this person had such a great meet. Just my thought sweets
I got the feeling they were making a sensible choice not to meet someone who went too far in another thread. Quite understandable really. No hint of sour grapes or jealousy at all. "
Agreed!
I was with them 100%, I just wouldn't have mentioned it as the person was a regular forum user. |
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"
Not nice but I've a feeling it's sour grapes being said here on their part and maybe just maybe some jealousy as this person had such a great meet. Just my thought sweets
I got the feeling they were making a sensible choice not to meet someone who went too far in another thread. Quite understandable really. No hint of sour grapes or jealousy at all.
Agreed!
I was with them 100%, I just wouldn't have mentioned it as the person was a regular forum user."
I might be tempeted to say something if I thought they had mentioned it first.... but probably not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That was my point sassy I read it thought fuck I know who that is about like you said I wouldn't want to be that person Reading that when they get home from work or something. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"must have missed it as i didnt see nothing "
nor did i .. all i know i am jelouse of no one on this site .... no one on my life thats the truth .. i dont under stand people who are of others ... its a swing site not dating site, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"how can you get jealous thou,
u meet fuck maybe fuck again and go home
sorry game set and match for me "
thats what i do too , lol x so we are game all , lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That was my point sassy I read it thought fuck I know who that is about like you said I wouldn't want to be that person Reading that when they get home from work or something. "
Indeed, especially as I think the person felt bad enough: they were just excited and did apologise. But sadly, damage done. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"how can you get jealous thou,
u meet fuck maybe fuck again and go home
sorry game set and match for me "
I've known a few in the past that have got shirty knowing I've got a meet and can't meet them some can't grasp NSA and someone I met the other week who wanted to meet this week then blocked me for messing them about because I had already made arrangements for this week. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i think it makes me laugh people assume that just as you are on fab you should meet all the time, drop all arrangments and just do it
( sorry thats not me) x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yes totally agree with you. we were chatting to a guy on here that seemed gen, arranged a meet for next week, then went cold!!!!!, it would of been our first ever meet, but having read comments on here about time wasters we thought we may come across some. never mind his loss and someone elses gain we say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything I just wouldn't want to meet someone and have my evening fun played out on here. Or maybe I'm too sensitive? X"
No I'm the same, who I've met and what happened is my business, it's the reason I used to hide my verifications. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have encountered (via PM) some people who read way too much into the fact you have actually exchanged messages with them... especially those who start a conversation via asking a question."
Yeah there's a lot seem to take it as a given it's now a when not a see how we get on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"maybe issues with others should now be kept off the forums...
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Indeed!
The majority of people have goldfish memories on these forums: only the truly sad with waaaaaaaay too much time on their hands and no meets will be able to quote something you wrote after the cock crowed twice on St Swithan's Day last year.
However, if you keep banging on about it and saying sorry it will never die.
You don't need to be an old timer to know discretion is a prerequisite of this lifestyle. Keep mentioning newbie and saying sorry will just keep this alive.
Move along...nothing further to see here! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes but sometimes, i get so many, i lose one i want to reply too, or am so busy with 2 jobs, i realise ive not replied to a message. Even been blocked as i obviously didnt reply to someones message, no big deal, plenty more fish in the sea, as they say |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What happens on st swithians day?
tv/ts get invited down to helston in cornwall, and are shown a jolly good time!!
xxx"
Its true Janelle, they throw a skipping contest too |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
"yes totally agree with you. we were chatting to a guy on here that seemed gen, arranged a meet for next week, then went cold!!!!!, it would of been our first ever meet, but having read comments on here about time wasters we thought we may come across some. never mind his loss and someone elses gain we say."
Definitely his loss!
Heck, I'd travel all the way to Sheffield just so that I could pin the Fabswingers Bum Of The Month Award rosette to your bottom! |
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