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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm going to be incredibly honest with you all, although I'm still young, looking back on when I was even younger and learning about sex and experimenting, having one night stands etc., I simply cannot believe the risks I took!
My main concern was pregnancy, not STI's. If a guy didn't have a condom and I was horny I just took their word that they were clean, condoms always seemed so expensive!
Thank god I didn't get anything, but now because of this site it's safe sex or I walk away  |
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I've never done bareback in my life.
I often wonder if it would make a difference to the feeling for me or is it mainly just different for the guy? What do you think?
It's become a little obsession. Really feel quite ill at the thought of it without a johnny. Haha oddball |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've never done bareback in my life.
I often wonder if it would make a difference to the feeling for me or is it mainly just different for the guy? What do you think?
It's become a little obsession. Really feel quite ill at the thought of it without a johnny. Haha oddball"
It's different for both of you, it is great but I don't find condoms restrictive. And they're an easier clean up for us girls!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Many moons ago when I was young I don't think we'd even heard about STI's. And a condom wasn't always used either - I'm guessing a whole load of my age group got lucky and didn't get pregnant or an STI. Of course some weren't so lucky. I'm far more aware nowadays |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Many moons ago when I was young I don't think we'd even heard about STI's. And a condom wasn't always used either - I'm guessing a whole load of my age group got lucky and didn't get pregnant or an STI. Of course some weren't so lucky. I'm far more aware nowadays"
This site has made me so cautious! I'm like the condom police with all my friends now.
The gum clinic lady gave me 100 free condoms recently after I told her about this site! |
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"I've never done bareback in my life.
I often wonder if it would make a difference to the feeling for me or is it mainly just different for the guy? What do you think?
It's become a little obsession. Really feel quite ill at the thought of it without a johnny. Haha oddball
It's different for both of you, it is great but I don't find condoms restrictive. And they're an easier clean up for us girls! "
Eww. Hadn't even thought of the dribble....lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm going to be incredibly honest with you all, although I'm still young, looking back on when I was even younger and learning about sex and experimenting, having one night stands etc., I simply cannot believe the risks I took!
My main concern was pregnancy, not STI's. If a guy didn't have a condom and I was horny I just took their word that they were clean, condoms always seemed so expensive!
Thank god I didn't get anything, but now because of this site it's safe sex or I walk away "
I was the same as a youngster! ! I was so not careful. How I managed to avoid sti's and pregnancy ill never know! The silly things we do when we're young and horny! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not sure this puts us in a good light but we have had meets with couples and not used them on the basis that we are all here doing the same thing and in this lifestyle you would expect that we all our getting checked and we have never got anything and the friends we made never got anything although we would never force another couple into going on what we have done but would speak to them about it and go with what there rules are. Saying all this though I'm not sure if we would trust a single guy when we have our first mfm threesome. |
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I never go bareback and make informed decisions about playing with those that do. It's condoms all the way with me or no way.
I'm also well aware that this still does not give me 100% protection or that oral has it's risks. I am still surprised at how many do not realise those risks too. It is discussed regularly on the forums so perhaps those that frequent them are more informed. It was only through reading them that I realised getting myself and my partner regularly check at the GUM clinic was something I needed to do.
Everyone has a right to choose how they play though, those of us who play safer just need to minimise the risks of playing with those who do take chances. |
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"I'm not sure this puts us in a good light but we have had meets with couples and not used them on the basis that we are all here doing the same thing and in this lifestyle you would expect that we all our getting checked and we have never got anything and the friends we made never got anything although we would never force another couple into going on what we have done but would speak to them about it and go with what there rules are. Saying all this though I'm not sure if we would trust a single guy when we have our first mfm threesome."
I can't help but feel that your logic is somewhat flawed there.  |
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We were young and single pre AIDS and HIV condom was a word only seen in medical articles and only ever used if the woman wasn't on the pill. I don't know the comparative figures so I can't say if more people contracted STIs back then or not.
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"I don't know why it's flawed would you be playing on a site like this if you had something and risk being named and shamed I don't think you would"
I meant that your logic in assuming that a single man is more risky than a couple if you were playing bareback. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm going to be incredibly honest with you all, although I'm still young, looking back on when I was even younger and learning about sex and experimenting, having one night stands etc., I simply cannot believe the risks I took!
My main concern was pregnancy, not STI's. If a guy didn't have a condom and I was horny I just took their word that they were clean, condoms always seemed so expensive!
Thank god I didn't get anything, but now because of this site it's safe sex or I walk away "
Is the fact you never got anything an indication that the "Russian roulette" (1:6) risks are over exagerated?
Did you catch a cold or flu or any other nonsexual infection in those carefree days? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't know why it's flawed would you be playing on a site like this if you had something and risk being named and shamed I don't think you would"
trust me very few people get tested as much as they say... And if someone will go bare with you, how many others have they done so..?
We have also come across people that have played openly at clubs even though they knew they had something  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm going to be incredibly honest with you all, although I'm still young, looking back on when I was even younger and learning about sex and experimenting, having one night stands etc., I simply cannot believe the risks I took!
My main concern was pregnancy, not STI's. If a guy didn't have a condom and I was horny I just took their word that they were clean, condoms always seemed so expensive!
Thank god I didn't get anything, but now because of this site it's safe sex or I walk away
Is the fact you never got anything an indication that the "Russian roulette" (1:6) risks are over exagerated?
Did you catch a cold or flu or any other nonsexual infection in those carefree days? "
I can't comment on the risks and I think figures are always going to be inaccurate. I did get lots of colds and flus! Just thankfully no STI's  |
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"I'm going to be incredibly honest with you all, although I'm still young, looking back on when I was even younger and learning about sex and experimenting, having one night stands etc., I simply cannot believe the risks I took!
My main concern was pregnancy, not STI's. If a guy didn't have a condom and I was horny I just took their word that they were clean, condoms always seemed so expensive!
Thank god I didn't get anything, but now because of this site it's safe sex or I walk away
Is the fact you never got anything an indication that the "Russian roulette" (1:6) risks are over exagerated?
Did you catch a cold or flu or any other nonsexual infection in those carefree days?
I can't comment on the risks and I think figures are always going to be inaccurate. I did get lots of colds and flus! Just thankfully no STI's "
That puts the risks you took into perspective then. You obviously came into contact with far more people socially than sexually thereby risking viruses like colds and flu more frequently the same applies now I assume but the fear of STIs is far greater. I'm not saying that we should all cast off our condoms, far from it but I think there's a touch of hysteria surrounding unprotected sex which stops people being honest about it which in turn makes us all slightly less safe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Or OK I get that but then you can catch stuff from oral man to woman or woman to man and yes we may of been lucky with not getting anything but it may of been the fact that people were honest as well every meet is different and personalised to the people we are meeting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm going to be incredibly honest with you all, although I'm still young, looking back on when I was even younger and learning about sex and experimenting, having one night stands etc., I simply cannot believe the risks I took!
My main concern was pregnancy, not STI's. If a guy didn't have a condom and I was horny I just took their word that they were clean, condoms always seemed so expensive!
Thank god I didn't get anything, but now because of this site it's safe sex or I walk away
Is the fact you never got anything an indication that the "Russian roulette" (1:6) risks are over exagerated?
Did you catch a cold or flu or any other nonsexual infection in those carefree days?
I can't comment on the risks and I think figures are always going to be inaccurate. I did get lots of colds and flus! Just thankfully no STI's "
Well, i believe illnesses should be viewed by their effect on the body not by how they were contracted. Chlamydia has no symptoms and is got rid of by a single antibiotic. A cold is incurable by medicine and makes you feel shitty for a week or so.
Yet how many people happily say they have a cold and will pass it onto others, including family members, but say nothing at all about chlamydia? STIs are perceived to be worse because of the stigma attached to them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm going to be incredibly honest with you all, although I'm still young, looking back on when I was even younger and learning about sex and experimenting, having one night stands etc., I simply cannot believe the risks I took!
My main concern was pregnancy, not STI's. If a guy didn't have a condom and I was horny I just took their word that they were clean, condoms always seemed so expensive!
Thank god I didn't get anything, but now because of this site it's safe sex or I walk away
Is the fact you never got anything an indication that the "Russian roulette" (1:6) risks are over exagerated?
Did you catch a cold or flu or any other nonsexual infection in those carefree days?
I can't comment on the risks and I think figures are always going to be inaccurate. I did get lots of colds and flus! Just thankfully no STI's
Well, i believe illnesses should be viewed by their effect on the body not by how they were contracted. Chlamydia has no symptoms and is got rid of by a single antibiotic. A cold is incurable by medicine and makes you feel shitty for a week or so.
Yet how many people happily say they have a cold and will pass it onto others, including family members, but say nothing at all about chlamydia? STIs are perceived to be worse because of the stigma attached to them. "
What you're saying is valid, and I think STI's should be completely destigmatised, however if you have an STI you can forego sex until you've had it cleared, a cold is not a good enough reason to be off work (according to my employer). There is also a difference between an STI like chlamydia and an STI like herpes/HIV. If you infect someone with a cold, it's more than likely that it will clear up with no long lasting side effects, if you infect someone with HIV - although it can now be controlled by drugs to be undetectable in your system, there is still the chance of transmission and later complications. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It would be nice to think that playing with people on here would equal playing with people that are tested regular and are aware of the risks..
Sadly though the longer you do this the more you realise this isn't often the case..
Recently we were put off playing in a group of people as one lady had actually admitted to having a positive test on the Tuesday for her and her partner and then having a mini gang bang session on the Friday... As they thought that as they had been given the antibiotics they were okay.
Also once was in a couples room and about 5 couples all together..all bare...we assumed they all knew each other but still declined to join.. After we found out they had all met that night.. On further chats two couples have never been tested... These were all over 40s ...
So that is why apart from oral we choose to play safe and get tested often as sadly, safety isn't something everyone understands |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm going to be incredibly honest with you all, although I'm still young, looking back on when I was even younger and learning about sex and experimenting, having one night stands etc., I simply cannot believe the risks I took!
My main concern was pregnancy, not STI's. If a guy didn't have a condom and I was horny I just took their word that they were clean, condoms always seemed so expensive!
Thank god I didn't get anything, but now because of this site it's safe sex or I walk away "
I think most people, if they are honest, have done the same, when we are young we aren't so good at speaking up, when I was in my teens I never gave condoms a second though but HIV wasn't really known of then so condoms wasn't being pushed like they are now, when I was a teenager the worse thing you could catch could be cleared up with anti biotics and you think your invincible when your a teenager anyway
It wasn't till I did catch something that I had a reality check, worse thing was I wasn't even sleeping about at that time i was in a relationship and it turned out he had been playing away cought chlamydia and passed it into me, after that I always used condoms even when in a relationship as you never know, in my experience even being in a monogamous relationship don't mean you are safe, I trust nobody |
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