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FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Good article on why cuckolds like it

Good article on why cuckolds like it

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

"Spurred the Cuckold Husband/HotWife Phenomena?

Although motivations for the cuckold husband/HotWife phenomena actually cover a wide spectrum, here we’ll cover a few of the most common.

Beautiful women are often typecast as being prone to sexual liaisons. Whereas this type of woman was once considered a “fallen woman”, this image now personifies an interesting new phenomenon.

Today's woman is allowed to be more sexually liberated. For some, especially older, married women, there appears to be a certain ego gratification in still being viewed as being sexually desirable - even discretely promiscuous. From the security of her primary relationship she is free to experience new levels of sexual freedom. In recent decades it has become socially acceptable for a woman to be just as open as a man about her sexuality.

Even though she may have begun to doubt her sexual attractiveness as she ages, as a “Hotwife” she discovers that men remain interested in her and finds gratification in this realization. For some women this can constitute a kind of new “sexual awakening”, often expressed in terms of personal empowerment.

In some circles a woman may even wear an ankle bracelet on her right ankle to signify that she’s a Hotwife, and she may openly flirt.

Many women feel that being a Hotwife turns them into a sex object. This seems to be primarily based on the premise that enjoying sex is a masculine prerogative. However, this is mostly a result of women being socially preconditioned to accept lower sexual standards and expectations.

Women in the Hotwife lifestyle have the ability to overcome sociological conditioning, and relearn much about themselves that conflicts with traditional, some argue flawed, wisdom. This includes the culturally taboo aspects of a married women having sex outside their marriage.

All of this notwithstanding, the cuckold husband/Hotwife phenomena is typically the idea of the husband who is sexually excited by the idea of another man having sex with his wife. This fantasy is one of the more mentioned among all male fantasies, so it is far from rare.

From the husband’s perspective, the pursuit of his wife by other men introduces a competitive instinct. This appears to strengthen the husbands resolve to remain faithful and attentive, as he seeks constant reaffirmation of the marital bond. Simply put, the more she strays the more intent the husband becomes to secure his place at her side.

Women have a different perspective on being a Hotwife, of course. After adjusting to the changes in the relationship they often express a sense of freedom and renewed self-assurance. Gaining control over her sex life, and that of her husband's, introduces a sense of power most women never experience.

Some women question the motivations for requests their husband may express, specifically the need for frequent comparison of their traits to those of her lover(s). Strangely, husbands can become sexually excited when told by their wife that her lover is better endowed, more satisfying or more exciting than her husband. Research suggests that men are motivated by the perception of a competitive landscape in which they are a contender for their wife's affection. Naturally, the husband recognizes his equivalent of the home field advantage (he has his wife's heart), so the creation of a contrived competitive disadvantage (real or perceived) appears to create the illusion of a fair fight in his mind, and triggers heightened sexual experiences. Even in situations where the wife visits a lover and returns home, the husband does not seek immediate reassurance of his wife's love for him. He will instead be seeking vivid descriptions of her extramarital activities, punctuated by frequent comparisons between him and her lover.

In some ways there is a slight role reversal in the marriage, with the husband instead having to adjust to his wife's sexual preferences. This may include both timing and frequency. He must accept her choices of sexual partners, and adjust to the fact that his sexual needs may become secondary to both hers and even those of the men his wife sees outside the marriage. He may need to adjust to his wife not being sexually exclusive to him and, in extreme situations, her being sexually exclusive with another partner. He may also have to deal with meeting men who have had or will have sexual relations with his wife. All of these involve a wide range of unfamiliar, albeit potentially exciting, emotions for the husband.

The Quintessential Issue

Clearly, the cuckold husband/Hotwife idea is at odds with cultural conditioning and even personal jealousies. Although these conditions may not be desirable, they must be recognized. Even assuming that both partners willingly select the lifestyle, most of society does not condone it. There remains a stigma associated with a promiscuous wife and a husband who knowingly allows his wife to have extramarital sex. The need for discretion has created a large underground movement of couples who participate in this lifestyle, while maintaining an otherwise traditional appearance.,

All this being said, given the high number of extramarital affairs, and the emerging changes in some social attitudes, one wonders if somewhere down the road to cultural enlightenment the U.S. won’t be ready to accept these relationships more openly. We may be in the early stages of that now, with broadening recognition and acceptance of alternative lifestyles, and an apparent growth of participants.

Although the transition will certainly be bumpy, we are seeing some shift of the emphasis toward crafting successful personal relationships based on working with natural human proclivities, rather than against them."

Not my words, but I think it's pretty insightful and plenty I recognise in myself lurking in the above.

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By *razedcatMan  over a year ago

London / Herts

This is very interesting, although I feel the description of a husband's motivation in the article is more readily applicable in a hotwife scenario, and not a cuckold one.

I can't imagine a cuck, kept in chastity for weeks on end and repeatedly told how pathetic he is, is in a "competitive landscape" where he is involved in a "fair fight". The motivation of a cuck seems a little different.

Nonetheless, an insightful article

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By *ollymollWoman  over a year ago

Stockport

That was really interesting!

Thank you for posting it. It answered some questions for me.

X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A great article which get very close to the mark

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I just want a guy with a small dick to acknowledge he can't fuck me the way i like it and let me fuck other people. But i'll love him for it.

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By *nfamyMan  over a year ago

Goole

I'm here

X

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By *shrop_cpleCouple  over a year ago

Ceredigion

The book 'Sperm Wars' by Robin Baker is an informative read on this subject too.


""Spurred the Cuckold Husband/HotWife Phenomena?

Although motivations for the cuckold husband/HotWife phenomena actually cover a wide spectrum, here we’ll cover a few of the most common.

Beautiful women are often typecast as being prone to sexual liaisons. Whereas this type of woman was once considered a “fallen woman”, this image now personifies an interesting new phenomenon.

Today's woman is allowed to be more sexually liberated. For some, especially older, married women, there appears to be a certain ego gratification in still being viewed as being sexually desirable - even discretely promiscuous. From the security of her primary relationship she is free to experience new levels of sexual freedom. In recent decades it has become socially acceptable for a woman to be just as open as a man about her sexuality.

Even though she may have begun to doubt her sexual attractiveness as she ages, as a “Hotwife” she discovers that men remain interested in her and finds gratification in this realization. For some women this can constitute a kind of new “sexual awakening”, often expressed in terms of personal empowerment.

In some circles a woman may even wear an ankle bracelet on her right ankle to signify that she’s a Hotwife, and she may openly flirt.

Many women feel that being a Hotwife turns them into a sex object. This seems to be primarily based on the premise that enjoying sex is a masculine prerogative. However, this is mostly a result of women being socially preconditioned to accept lower sexual standards and expectations.

Women in the Hotwife lifestyle have the ability to overcome sociological conditioning, and relearn much about themselves that conflicts with traditional, some argue flawed, wisdom. This includes the culturally taboo aspects of a married women having sex outside their marriage.

All of this notwithstanding, the cuckold husband/Hotwife phenomena is typically the idea of the husband who is sexually excited by the idea of another man having sex with his wife. This fantasy is one of the more mentioned among all male fantasies, so it is far from rare.

From the husband’s perspective, the pursuit of his wife by other men introduces a competitive instinct. This appears to strengthen the husbands resolve to remain faithful and attentive, as he seeks constant reaffirmation of the marital bond. Simply put, the more she strays the more intent the husband becomes to secure his place at her side.

Women have a different perspective on being a Hotwife, of course. After adjusting to the changes in the relationship they often express a sense of freedom and renewed self-assurance. Gaining control over her sex life, and that of her husband's, introduces a sense of power most women never experience.

Some women question the motivations for requests their husband may express, specifically the need for frequent comparison of their traits to those of her lover(s). Strangely, husbands can become sexually excited when told by their wife that her lover is better endowed, more satisfying or more exciting than her husband. Research suggests that men are motivated by the perception of a competitive landscape in which they are a contender for their wife's affection. Naturally, the husband recognizes his equivalent of the home field advantage (he has his wife's heart), so the creation of a contrived competitive disadvantage (real or perceived) appears to create the illusion of a fair fight in his mind, and triggers heightened sexual experiences. Even in situations where the wife visits a lover and returns home, the husband does not seek immediate reassurance of his wife's love for him. He will instead be seeking vivid descriptions of her extramarital activities, punctuated by frequent comparisons between him and her lover.

In some ways there is a slight role reversal in the marriage, with the husband instead having to adjust to his wife's sexual preferences. This may include both timing and frequency. He must accept her choices of sexual partners, and adjust to the fact that his sexual needs may become secondary to both hers and even those of the men his wife sees outside the marriage. He may need to adjust to his wife not being sexually exclusive to him and, in extreme situations, her being sexually exclusive with another partner. He may also have to deal with meeting men who have had or will have sexual relations with his wife. All of these involve a wide range of unfamiliar, albeit potentially exciting, emotions for the husband.

The Quintessential Issue

Clearly, the cuckold husband/Hotwife idea is at odds with cultural conditioning and even personal jealousies. Although these conditions may not be desirable, they must be recognized. Even assuming that both partners willingly select the lifestyle, most of society does not condone it. There remains a stigma associated with a promiscuous wife and a husband who knowingly allows his wife to have extramarital sex. The need for discretion has created a large underground movement of couples who participate in this lifestyle, while maintaining an otherwise traditional appearance.,

All this being said, given the high number of extramarital affairs, and the emerging changes in some social attitudes, one wonders if somewhere down the road to cultural enlightenment the U.S. won’t be ready to accept these relationships more openly. We may be in the early stages of that now, with broadening recognition and acceptance of alternative lifestyles, and an apparent growth of participants.

Although the transition will certainly be bumpy, we are seeing some shift of the emphasis toward crafting successful personal relationships based on working with natural human proclivities, rather than against them."

Not my words, but I think it's pretty insightful and plenty I recognise in myself lurking in the above.

"

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By *butterfliesCouple  over a year ago

Stretton

This is a great explanation. Thank you for posting

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A really good article and factual in terms of my cuckold experiences with my ex wife. It is possible that the article could be expanded on as the many aspects of cuckolding lead down varied paths. I very much miss the cuckold lifestyle and dream of getting back into it. Oh and to clear up any questions of why my wife is now my ex wife, it was a totally non sexual breakdown which lead to us parting

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By *ingle ex cuckMan  over a year ago

chester


"I just want a guy with a small dick to acknowledge he can't fuck me the way i like it and let me fuck other people. But i'll love him for it. "

Wish you was looking for a cuck but single guys are blocked

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By *hocko87Man  over a year ago

dublin

IDE luv to meet a partner who was into exploring all sorts of scenarios including hot wife cuckholding maybe dome n sub . I know it's not everyone's cup of tea but finding it very hard to find d righ partner . I will just have to dream on lol

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By *xoticloverMan  over a year ago

newcastle

Lovely article...Can't agree more.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I just want a guy with a small dick to acknowledge he can't fuck me the way i like it and let me fuck other people. But i'll love him for it.

Wish you was looking for a cuck but single guys are blocked "

i am looking. just blocked guys because it's the school holidays and i'm crap at planning ahead.

i'm also looking for someone local though.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

and, tbh, i am in apathy about looking for a cuckold because i get messed about a lot while looking for one.

so anyone interested will have to be real careful not to put me off them...for a while now until i get my enthusiasm back.

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By *xoticloverMan  over a year ago

newcastle


"and, tbh, i am in apathy about looking for a cuckold because i get messed about a lot while looking for one.

so anyone interested will have to be real careful not to put me off them...for a while now until i get my enthusiasm back."

Strange thin...cucks find it diffcult to find hotwife,hotwife finds it difficult to find a cuck hubby/partner, cuck cpls find difficult to find a bull and bull finds difficult to find a cuck cpl. Everything is so difficult!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"and, tbh, i am in apathy about looking for a cuckold because i get messed about a lot while looking for one.

so anyone interested will have to be real careful not to put me off them...for a while now until i get my enthusiasm back.

Strange thin...cucks find it diffcult to find hotwife,hotwife finds it difficult to find a cuck hubby/partner, cuck cpls find difficult to find a bull and bull finds difficult to find a cuck cpl. Everything is so difficult!!"

the fussier you are the harder it is to find something. and just because someone wants to be what you're looking for doesn't mean you'll be compatible...

mostly i'm ending up with fantasists wanting to 'chat' sexually about cuckolding. i just cut them dead from that second to not piss me off as much but it's still pissing me off. in fact most 'sub' guys piss me off also with their shit and i changed my profile to reflect better what i want.

plus i was chatting to a guy a couple of weeks ago who seemed perfect then he just went dead on me, he wasn't even after dirty chat or anything and wanted to meet pretty quick but seemed to have change dhis mind for some reason...am sure it's something i did but idk what.

i've had no problem finding bulls while single either. just the way things go sometimes.

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By *xoticloverMan  over a year ago

newcastle


"and, tbh, i am in apathy about looking for a cuckold because i get messed about a lot while looking for one.

so anyone interested will have to be real careful not to put me off them...for a while now until i get my enthusiasm back.

Strange thin...cucks find it diffcult to find hotwife,hotwife finds it difficult to find a cuck hubby/partner, cuck cpls find difficult to find a bull and bull finds difficult to find a cuck cpl. Everything is so difficult!!

the fussier you are the harder it is to find something. and just because someone wants to be what you're looking for doesn't mean you'll be compatible...

mostly i'm ending up with fantasists wanting to 'chat' sexually about cuckolding. i just cut them dead from that second to not piss me off as much but it's still pissing me off. in fact most 'sub' guys piss me off also with their shit and i changed my profile to reflect better what i want.

plus i was chatting to a guy a couple of weeks ago who seemed perfect then he just went dead on me, he wasn't even after dirty chat or anything and wanted to meet pretty quick but seemed to have change dhis mind for some reason...am sure it's something i did but idk what.

i've had no problem finding bulls while single either. just the way things go sometimes."

I have struggled finding hot-wife in my area, now i would happily play a cuck as i am nowhere being close to be a bull.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"and, tbh, i am in apathy about looking for a cuckold because i get messed about a lot while looking for one.

so anyone interested will have to be real careful not to put me off them...for a while now until i get my enthusiasm back.

Strange thin...cucks find it diffcult to find hotwife,hotwife finds it difficult to find a cuck hubby/partner, cuck cpls find difficult to find a bull and bull finds difficult to find a cuck cpl. Everything is so difficult!!

the fussier you are the harder it is to find something. and just because someone wants to be what you're looking for doesn't mean you'll be compatible...

mostly i'm ending up with fantasists wanting to 'chat' sexually about cuckolding. i just cut them dead from that second to not piss me off as much but it's still pissing me off. in fact most 'sub' guys piss me off also with their shit and i changed my profile to reflect better what i want.

plus i was chatting to a guy a couple of weeks ago who seemed perfect then he just went dead on me, he wasn't even after dirty chat or anything and wanted to meet pretty quick but seemed to have change dhis mind for some reason...am sure it's something i did but idk what.

i've had no problem finding bulls while single either. just the way things go sometimes.

I have struggled finding hot-wife in my area, now i would happily play a cuck as i am nowhere being close to be a bull. "

'play the cuck'...that's another thing why i'm finding it hard online because most people are after playing something and not being it.

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By *xoticloverMan  over a year ago

newcastle


"and, tbh, i am in apathy about looking for a cuckold because i get messed about a lot while looking for one.

so anyone interested will have to be real careful not to put me off them...for a while now until i get my enthusiasm back.

Strange thin...cucks find it diffcult to find hotwife,hotwife finds it difficult to find a cuck hubby/partner, cuck cpls find difficult to find a bull and bull finds difficult to find a cuck cpl. Everything is so difficult!!

the fussier you are the harder it is to find something. and just because someone wants to be what you're looking for doesn't mean you'll be compatible...

mostly i'm ending up with fantasists wanting to 'chat' sexually about cuckolding. i just cut them dead from that second to not piss me off as much but it's still pissing me off. in fact most 'sub' guys piss me off also with their shit and i changed my profile to reflect better what i want.

plus i was chatting to a guy a couple of weeks ago who seemed perfect then he just went dead on me, he wasn't even after dirty chat or anything and wanted to meet pretty quick but seemed to have change dhis mind for some reason...am sure it's something i did but idk what.

i've had no problem finding bulls while single either. just the way things go sometimes.

I have struggled finding hot-wife in my area, now i would happily play a cuck as i am nowhere being close to be a bull.

'play the cuck'...that's another thing why i'm finding it hard online because most people are after playing something and not being it."

Be a cuck when i am in a cucolding relationship and play a cuck if it is a roleplay..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"and, tbh, i am in apathy about looking for a cuckold because i get messed about a lot while looking for one.

so anyone interested will have to be real careful not to put me off them...for a while now until i get my enthusiasm back.

Strange thin...cucks find it diffcult to find hotwife,hotwife finds it difficult to find a cuck hubby/partner, cuck cpls find difficult to find a bull and bull finds difficult to find a cuck cpl. Everything is so difficult!!

the fussier you are the harder it is to find something. and just because someone wants to be what you're looking for doesn't mean you'll be compatible...

mostly i'm ending up with fantasists wanting to 'chat' sexually about cuckolding. i just cut them dead from that second to not piss me off as much but it's still pissing me off. in fact most 'sub' guys piss me off also with their shit and i changed my profile to reflect better what i want.

plus i was chatting to a guy a couple of weeks ago who seemed perfect then he just went dead on me, he wasn't even after dirty chat or anything and wanted to meet pretty quick but seemed to have change dhis mind for some reason...am sure it's something i did but idk what.

i've had no problem finding bulls while single either. just the way things go sometimes.

I have struggled finding hot-wife in my area, now i would happily play a cuck as i am nowhere being close to be a bull.

'play the cuck'...that's another thing why i'm finding it hard online because most people are after playing something and not being it.

Be a cuck when i am in a cucolding relationship and play a cuck if it is a roleplay.."

i'm after the relationship only, so not even as flexible as you, and most people are after the roleplay (or just sex chat even).

i do like roleplay but some things i just can't play.

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By *ingle ex cuckMan  over a year ago

chester


"and, tbh, i am in apathy about looking for a cuckold because i get messed about a lot while looking for one.

so anyone interested will have to be real careful not to put me off them...for a while now until i get my enthusiasm back."

Your not that far away from me according to distance

About a 20 min drive

I beg you to pm me and give me one chance for a chat

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By *xoticloverMan  over a year ago

newcastle


"and, tbh, i am in apathy about looking for a cuckold because i get messed about a lot while looking for one.

so anyone interested will have to be real careful not to put me off them...for a while now until i get my enthusiasm back.

Strange thin...cucks find it diffcult to find hotwife,hotwife finds it difficult to find a cuck hubby/partner, cuck cpls find difficult to find a bull and bull finds difficult to find a cuck cpl. Everything is so difficult!!

the fussier you are the harder it is to find something. and just because someone wants to be what you're looking for doesn't mean you'll be compatible...

mostly i'm ending up with fantasists wanting to 'chat' sexually about cuckolding. i just cut them dead from that second to not piss me off as much but it's still pissing me off. in fact most 'sub' guys piss me off also with their shit and i changed my profile to reflect better what i want.

plus i was chatting to a guy a couple of weeks ago who seemed perfect then he just went dead on me, he wasn't even after dirty chat or anything and wanted to meet pretty quick but seemed to have change dhis mind for some reason...am sure it's something i did but idk what.

i've had no problem finding bulls while single either. just the way things go sometimes.

I have struggled finding hot-wife in my area, now i would happily play a cuck as i am nowhere being close to be a bull.

'play the cuck'...that's another thing why i'm finding it hard online because most people are after playing something and not being it.

Be a cuck when i am in a cucolding relationship and play a cuck if it is a roleplay..

i'm after the relationship only, so not even as flexible as you, and most people are after the roleplay (or just sex chat even).

i do like roleplay but some things i just can't play."

Its more true in case of cuckolding, you have to be in a relationship to enjoy it the most but i am happy to begin with a roleplay

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By *oxyukCouple  over a year ago

hitchin

Interesting read we are definitely more of a Hotwife relationship.

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By *randMrs Spanish BrunetteCouple  over a year ago

home sweet home

Following

Mrs

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By *xoticloverMan  over a year ago

newcastle


"Following

Mrs "

Might make you try this...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hotwife by name, hotwife by nature.

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By *xoticloverMan  over a year ago

newcastle


"Hotwife by name, hotwife by nature. "

You are a rare breed...lucky hubby to have a hotwife...

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman  over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly


"

i'm after the relationship only, so not even as flexible as you, and most people are after the roleplay (or just sex chat even).

i do like roleplay but some things i just can't play."

I've had a lot of wannabes and fantasists over the last year but I've recently started dating a cuckold and it has real potential. They are out there

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

and on and on and on zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

i'm after the relationship only, so not even as flexible as you, and most people are after the roleplay (or just sex chat even).

i do like roleplay but some things i just can't play.

I've had a lot of wannabes and fantasists over the last year but I've recently started dating a cuckold and it has real potential. They are out there "

yeah. there must be at least one person right for me.

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By *xoticloverMan  over a year ago

newcastle


"

i'm after the relationship only, so not even as flexible as you, and most people are after the roleplay (or just sex chat even).

i do like roleplay but some things i just can't play.

I've had a lot of wannabes and fantasists over the last year but I've recently started dating a cuckold and it has real potential. They are out there

yeah. there must be at least one person right for me."

And for me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

This article is very interesting. We love to read these things to try to get a better understanding of these things.

However, we consider ourselves to be a cuckold couple but probably don't conform to lots of the points in this article.

For us I think it's almost a role reversal. My job requires me to be rather dominant, and at home in our normal lives we do have what is probably considered to be quite traditional roles. When we are in the bedroom those traditional roles are the opposite and both of us love it! It's almost an escape for us both! I would do pretty much anything I am told to when we are in that moment, and kel is therefore completely in charge of those moments. It's a fantastic feeling to lose all responsibility and be submissive to my wife!

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By *iganpairCouple  over a year ago

Wigan, Lancs.


"I just want a guy with a small dick to acknowledge he can't fuck me the way i like it and let me fuck other people. But i'll love him for it. "

on my way round hun

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I just want a guy with a small dick to acknowledge he can't fuck me the way i like it and let me fuck other people. But i'll love him for it.

on my way round hun "

aw, thankyou.

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By *iganpairCouple  over a year ago

Wigan, Lancs.

anytime and you seen my size lol

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