FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Do you act the same?
Do you act the same?
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When We have meets, I (the female) tend not to give eye contact, kiss, cuddle or touch the other man like I do when I'm with my own man.
Since becoming aware of this, I still don't and can't do it...
I thought I'd ask others if they are similar so I can try to understand why this may be.
The obvious answer is because I don't love the other men.
Would really appreciate any thoughts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sabrina is quite the opposite .
She wasn't to begin with , but to satisfy my voyeuristic nature , and to offer an altogether more satisfying meet , she always treats every man as she would if he was her lover .
Lots of eye contact , stroking , kissing and real passion .
And this works so much better for all parties . Her , him and me . Just to clarify , her love is all for me too . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting that she began similarly to me.
Maybe because we are relatively new to the scene is a factor then.
"
I'm very similar to you and been doing this for over a decade... However intimacy is a new thing for me and something I have predominantly only had the intimacy with Mr... For me sexual contact doesn't take trust but intimacy does. |
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Im different with my husband as the men I meet are complete strangers, I have no feelings for them at all its just sex. It all depends on who I am with.
I have only met three couples but I noticed that the men act differently when they are with their wives to when its just me and them. |
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"Interesting that she began similarly to me.
Maybe because we are relatively new to the scene is a factor then.
I'm very similar to you and been doing this for over a decade... However intimacy is a new thing for me and something I have predominantly only had the intimacy with Mr... For me sexual contact doesn't take trust but intimacy does. "
Very true ?? |
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"Im different with my husband as the men I meet are complete strangers, I have no feelings for them at all its just sex. It all depends on who I am with.
I have only met three couples but I noticed that the men act differently when they are with their wives to when its just me and them."
Aha interesting.
I get that sex with ones partner is always going to be more intimate than with a stranger but I can't even look at the other men
Just out of interest, did you find the women also acted differently with their own man? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im different with my husband as the men I meet are complete strangers, I have no feelings for them at all its just sex. It all depends on who I am with.
I have only met three couples but I noticed that the men act differently when they are with their wives to when its just me and them.
Aha interesting.
I get that sex with ones partner is always going to be more intimate than with a stranger but I can't even look at the other men
Just out of interest, did you find the women also acted differently with their own man? "
I'm aware couples may reserve kissing for each other but why can't you look at the other men?
Is swinging something you both like doing? |
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"Im different with my husband as the men I meet are complete strangers, I have no feelings for them at all its just sex. It all depends on who I am with.
I have only met three couples but I noticed that the men act differently when they are with their wives to when its just me and them.
Aha interesting.
I get that sex with ones partner is always going to be more intimate than with a stranger but I can't even look at the other men
Just out of interest, did you find the women also acted differently with their own man?
I'm aware couples may reserve kissing for each other but why can't you look at the other men?
Is swinging something you both like doing?"
I don't know, I just can't.
Yes, swinging is something we both like to do and have thoroughly enjoyed thus far.
Maybe I'm just really anal and although it's something we both choose to do, I still feel it's really naughty!!
I'm as confused as you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I unless I'm looking up while sucking cock do not make eye contact during sex with other men... It makes me feel very uncomfortable.
I will not look into their eyes while we are having sex.. In fact would rather not look at all. Not because I don't enjoy it but because it makes me feel very odd. Cant even explain it but I like to keep a distance. Giving my all is reserved for one man only... I love sex with others, Totally.... But I don't connect except to touch physically.
It is odd for me as till Mr i didn't know there was a difference.... And I love that he is the only man that gets all of me |
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"I unless I'm looking up while sucking cock do not make eye contact during sex with other men... It makes me feel very uncomfortable.
I will not look into their eyes while we are having sex.. In fact would rather not look at all. Not because I don't enjoy it but because it makes me feel very odd. Cant even explain it but I like to keep a distance. Giving my all is reserved for one man only... I love sex with others, Totally.... But I don't connect except to touch physically.
It is odd for me as till Mr i didn't know there was a difference.... And I love that he is the only man that gets all of me "
I love this
Totally get you. |
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"I unless I'm looking up while sucking cock do not make eye contact during sex with other men... It makes me feel very uncomfortable.
I will not look into their eyes while we are having sex.. In fact would rather not look at all. Not because I don't enjoy it but because it makes me feel very odd. Cant even explain it but I like to keep a distance. Giving my all is reserved for one man only... I love sex with others, Totally.... But I don't connect except to touch physically.
It is odd for me as till Mr i didn't know there was a difference.... And I love that he is the only man that gets all of me
I love this
Totally get you. "
I even ask my man to blindfold and cuff me. Not only does this really turn me on but I don't feel awkward about the eye contact thing hehe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do like meeting couples and have found for my purposes the best meets allow for a full range of intimacy..when in that moment I don't want to have to remember to curtail a kiss when it's my instinct to kiss or to find the lady won't meet my gaze when the eyes tell of so much.
I get that as the single guy present your the extra to the relationship appearing for one night only or whatever but for that one night I like all to be open and free form, As three or more lovers together
When we've all done, you and the partner go home and do your thing..I'll do mine, so yeah, I find couples who kiss and are intimate a lot more appealing that's one guys take on it anyhow |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do like meeting couples and have found for my purposes the best meets allow for a full range of intimacy..when in that moment I don't want to have to remember to curtail a kiss when it's my instinct to kiss or to find the lady won't meet my gaze when the eyes tell of so much.
I get that as the single guy present your the extra to the relationship appearing for one night only or whatever but for that one night I like all to be open and free form, As three or more lovers together
When we've all done, you and the partner go home and do your thing..I'll do mine, so yeah, I find couples who kiss and are intimate a lot more appealing that's one guys take on it anyhow "
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"I do like meeting couples and have found for my purposes the best meets allow for a full range of intimacy..when in that moment I don't want to have to remember to curtail a kiss when it's my instinct to kiss or to find the lady won't meet my gaze when the eyes tell of so much.
I get that as the single guy present your the extra to the relationship appearing for one night only or whatever but for that one night I like all to be open and free form, As three or more lovers together
When we've all done, you and the partner go home and do your thing..I'll do mine, so yeah, I find couples who kiss and are intimate a lot more appealing that's one guys take on it anyhow "
That's just it, it's not my instinct to kiss a stranger although I'm happy for him to fuck me stupid! Makes no sense hey.
Thank you for your input though, great to hear a single guys perspective. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do like meeting couples and have found for my purposes the best meets allow for a full range of intimacy..when in that moment I don't want to have to remember to curtail a kiss when it's my instinct to kiss or to find the lady won't meet my gaze when the eyes tell of so much.
I get that as the single guy present your the extra to the relationship appearing for one night only or whatever but for that one night I like all to be open and free form, As three or more lovers together
When we've all done, you and the partner go home and do your thing..I'll do mine, so yeah, I find couples who kiss and are intimate a lot more appealing that's one guys take on it anyhow
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if the other lady could not look at me or want to kiss me it would be a complete turn off for me. it would seem like they didnt enjoy being with me! " I am lustful and playful... Guys don't seem to notice the lack of intimacy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if the other lady could not look at me or want to kiss me it would be a complete turn off for me. it would seem like they didnt enjoy being with me! "
It would feel very cold for me, Like I had paid or was being paid for the sex
|
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I don't have a 'love' so I can't compare but Iv no problem making eye-contact Etc to a guy as its all to do with the passionate aspect of sex. I do what I feel however Iv came across guys that will say things like 'tell me I'm the best' or will just want to 'make love' which il tell them 'no' as I won't say what's not true. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if the other lady could not look at me or want to kiss me it would be a complete turn off for me. it would seem like they didnt enjoy being with me!
It would feel very cold for me, Like I had paid or was being paid for the sex
"
i agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do like meeting couples and have found for my purposes the best meets allow for a full range of intimacy..when in that moment I don't want to have to remember to curtail a kiss when it's my instinct to kiss or to find the lady won't meet my gaze when the eyes tell of so much.
I get that as the single guy present your the extra to the relationship appearing for one night only or whatever but for that one night I like all to be open and free form, As three or more lovers together
When we've all done, you and the partner go home and do your thing..I'll do mine, so yeah, I find couples who kiss and are intimate a lot more appealing that's one guys take on it anyhow
That's just it, it's not my instinct to kiss a stranger although I'm happy for him to fuck me stupid! Makes no sense hey.
Thank you for your input though, great to hear a single guys perspective. "
It's mine to kiss those I'm sleeping with..it matters to me, but then I'm just one person. Loads of guys would be happy to play a lot of other ways I'm Sure. Given the right mood I would too I guess but on the whole if I'm planning to meet a couple and it's something I'm looking forward to I do like the whole package.
I'm a soft arse basically who likes intimacy and kissin' alot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if the other lady could not look at me or want to kiss me it would be a complete turn off for me. it would seem like they didnt enjoy being with me! I am lustful and playful... Guys don't seem to notice the lack of intimacy. "
not all guys. i love the intimacy of kissing, foreplay, eye contact......that makes it much more fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if the other lady could not look at me or want to kiss me it would be a complete turn off for me. it would seem like they didnt enjoy being with me! I am lustful and playful... Guys don't seem to notice the lack of intimacy.
not all guys. i love the intimacy of kissing, foreplay, eye contact......that makes it much more fun." didn't say I don't kiss I just don't enjoy it much... And trust me in many many years, guys don't seem to care or notice. I'm playful and will make eye contact if sucking cock. I would however freak if a guy wanted to stroke and hold me |
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"I do like meeting couples and have found for my purposes the best meets allow for a full range of intimacy..when in that moment I don't want to have to remember to curtail a kiss when it's my instinct to kiss or to find the lady won't meet my gaze when the eyes tell of so much.
I get that as the single guy present your the extra to the relationship appearing for one night only or whatever but for that one night I like all to be open and free form, As three or more lovers together
When we've all done, you and the partner go home and do your thing..I'll do mine, so yeah, I find couples who kiss and are intimate a lot more appealing that's one guys take on it anyhow
That's just it, it's not my instinct to kiss a stranger although I'm happy for him to fuck me stupid! Makes no sense hey.
Thank you for your input though, great to hear a single guys perspective.
It's mine to kiss those I'm sleeping with..it matters to me, but then I'm just one person. Loads of guys would be happy to play a lot of other ways I'm Sure. Given the right mood I would too I guess but on the whole if I'm planning to meet a couple and it's something I'm looking forward to I do like the whole package.
I'm a soft arse basically who likes intimacy and kissin' alot "
Which is a good thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do like meeting couples and have found for my purposes the best meets allow for a full range of intimacy..when in that moment I don't want to have to remember to curtail a kiss when it's my instinct to kiss or to find the lady won't meet my gaze when the eyes tell of so much.
I get that as the single guy present your the extra to the relationship appearing for one night only or whatever but for that one night I like all to be open and free form, As three or more lovers together
When we've all done, you and the partner go home and do your thing..I'll do mine, so yeah, I find couples who kiss and are intimate a lot more appealing that's one guys take on it anyhow
That's just it, it's not my instinct to kiss a stranger although I'm happy for him to fuck me stupid! Makes no sense hey.
Thank you for your input though, great to hear a single guys perspective.
It's mine to kiss those I'm sleeping with..it matters to me, but then I'm just one person. Loads of guys would be happy to play a lot of other ways I'm Sure. Given the right mood I would too I guess but on the whole if I'm planning to meet a couple and it's something I'm looking forward to I do like the whole package.
I'm a soft arse basically who likes intimacy and kissin' alot
Which is a good thing "
It's A thing we're all a bit different to the next though and that's no bad thing.
Play. Enjoy. Be comfortable |
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"if the other lady could not look at me or want to kiss me it would be a complete turn off for me. it would seem like they didnt enjoy being with me!
It would feel very cold for me, Like I had paid or was being paid for the sex
i agree "
Well I don't notice if the other guy is not looking into my eyes so it doesn't affect me but I can understand how if that's what you like and prefer, it would have an affect.
My educated guess is that the guys know I'm enjoying it in other ways |
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"I do like meeting couples and have found for my purposes the best meets allow for a full range of intimacy..when in that moment I don't want to have to remember to curtail a kiss when it's my instinct to kiss or to find the lady won't meet my gaze when the eyes tell of so much.
I get that as the single guy present your the extra to the relationship appearing for one night only or whatever but for that one night I like all to be open and free form, As three or more lovers together
When we've all done, you and the partner go home and do your thing..I'll do mine, so yeah, I find couples who kiss and are intimate a lot more appealing that's one guys take on it anyhow
That's just it, it's not my instinct to kiss a stranger although I'm happy for him to fuck me stupid! Makes no sense hey.
Thank you for your input though, great to hear a single guys perspective.
It's mine to kiss those I'm sleeping with..it matters to me, but then I'm just one person. Loads of guys would be happy to play a lot of other ways I'm Sure. Given the right mood I would too I guess but on the whole if I'm planning to meet a couple and it's something I'm looking forward to I do like the whole package.
I'm a soft arse basically who likes intimacy and kissin' alot
Which is a good thing
It's A thing we're all a bit different to the next though and that's no bad thing.
Play. Enjoy. Be comfortable "
True story that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if the other lady could not look at me or want to kiss me it would be a complete turn off for me. it would seem like they didnt enjoy being with me!
It would feel very cold for me, Like I had paid or was being paid for the sex
i agree
Well I don't notice if the other guy is not looking into my eyes so it doesn't affect me but I can understand how if that's what you like and prefer, it would have an affect.
My educated guess is that the guys know I'm enjoying it in other ways "
I'm sure they do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Kissing and eye contact is the last taboo. When I took my ex. To the clubs I didn't want her to kiss someone until we met a really nice guy and we all clicked. He started kissing her and I told her to go ahead. Very soon that crippling knot of jealousy in my stomach melted away and we both shared her equally as lovers. It was a turning point and we loved it. They never knew her name or had our contact numbers she just used them for sex at clubs and it was wonderful to watch. I meet a few couples and have the same experience with them and I love that too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've found this tread quite strange. Having sex with someone you won't kiss and won't even look at is something I can't understand.
I love sex. I love the intimacy. I love the closeness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I need the passion and intimacy, looking into each others eyes and seeing pure lust!
My husband loves watching it to and personally I can't imagine having sex with somebody but not looking at them x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need the passion and intimacy, looking into each others eyes and seeing pure lust!
My husband loves watching it to and personally I can't imagine having sex with somebody but not looking at them x "
Exactly this. |
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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"if the other lady could not look at me or want to kiss me it would be a complete turn off for me. it would seem like they didnt enjoy being with me! "
I've always kissed with my eyes closed. It's nothing personal it's just how it is. Ive tried kissing with my eyes open and for me it just feels too weird. When I've been with a man just socially or after sex, that's when I look at them |
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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"I haven't met anyone since I've been with Grey. But I don't kiss with my eyes open but I'm very tactile. I love to touch every part of him
Maybe I'll try the touching with closed eyes haha.
"
You could do but it's only when I kiss him my eyes are closed. It's more sensual that way |
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In all my life i would never kiss or cuddle someone i wasnt in a relationship its literally only the last few years ive done it but now im comfortable and do enjoy it. But as for eye contact its one of my big things i like a guy looking me straight in the eye and watching them change and watching someones eyes as they orgasm |
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"I've found this tread quite strange. Having sex with someone you won't kiss and won't even look at is something I can't understand.
I love sex. I love the intimacy. I love the closeness. "
Well that makes two of us!
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"Kissing and eye contact is the last taboo. When I took my ex. To the clubs I didn't want her to kiss someone until we met a really nice guy and we all clicked. He started kissing her and I told her to go ahead. Very soon that crippling knot of jealousy in my stomach melted away and we both shared her equally as lovers. It was a turning point and we loved it. They never knew her name or had our contact numbers she just used them for sex at clubs and it was wonderful to watch. I meet a few couples and have the same experience with them and I love that too. " |
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"In all my life i would never kiss or cuddle someone i wasnt in a relationship its literally only the last few years ive done it but now im comfortable and do enjoy it. But as for eye contact its one of my big things i like a guy looking me straight in the eye and watching them change and watching someones eyes as they orgasm"
I love to watch guys cum but I watch their cock not eyes!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Might as well have sex with a blow up doll .......This lack of intimacy would put me right off. "
Perhaps its the controlling man behind the lady that doesn't allow intimacy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Might as well have sex with a blow up doll .......This lack of intimacy would put me right off.
Perhaps its the controlling man behind the lady that doesn't allow intimacy? "
I don't mean the op husband by the way...but there are some that are . |
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"Im different with my husband as the men I meet are complete strangers, I have no feelings for them at all its just sex. It all depends on who I am with.
I have only met three couples but I noticed that the men act differently when they are with their wives to when its just me and them.
Aha interesting.
I get that sex with ones partner is always going to be more intimate than with a stranger but I can't even look at the other men
Just out of interest, did you find the women also acted differently with their own man? "
I don't mind looking at them if I feel comfortable with them, I noticed that some men would tell their wives what to do or their wives would ask them what they should do, they hardly spoke to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Kissing, hugging, eye contact are all completely different actions depending on who you are doing them with. I will kiss, hug and make eye contact with someone I'm having sex with, it still doesn't make it the same "meaning" as when I do it with the person I am in love with. There's never going to be any comparison with the person you are in love with, so it seems strange to me to put arbitrary rules on physical acts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Might as well have sex with a blow up doll .......This lack of intimacy would put me right off.
Perhaps its the controlling man behind the lady that doesn't allow intimacy? "
Or the women involved know what they like or don't like, and set their own boundaries according to their preferences? Fancy that... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I unless I'm looking up while sucking cock do not make eye contact during sex with other men... It makes me feel very uncomfortable.
I will not look into their eyes while we are having sex.. In fact would rather not look at all. Not because I don't enjoy it but because it makes me feel very odd. Cant even explain it but I like to keep a distance. Giving my all is reserved for one man only... I love sex with others, Totally.... But I don't connect except to touch physically.
It is odd for me as till Mr i didn't know there was a difference.... And I love that he is the only man that gets all of me "
I felt like this with my own partner. We have been together 2 years and until a few months ago i would avoid eye contact during sex. I think its down to intimacy and confidence. I dont have sex with other men so i cant comment but i definately had this issue with my own boyfriend |
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"Might as well have sex with a blow up doll .......This lack of intimacy would put me right off.
Perhaps its the controlling man behind the lady that doesn't allow intimacy?
I don't mean the op husband by the way...but there are some that are ."
Haha, I've never had sex with a blow up doll so can't comment
Once we are happy with who we play with, My man does control the situations we put ourselves in but that's because I ask him to.
He 'allows' me to do what I want and has put no boundaries there apart from one which I totally respect.
I know you weren't being personal about my man by the way. |
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"Im different with my husband as the men I meet are complete strangers, I have no feelings for them at all its just sex. It all depends on who I am with.
I have only met three couples but I noticed that the men act differently when they are with their wives to when its just me and them.
Aha interesting.
I get that sex with ones partner is always going to be more intimate than with a stranger but I can't even look at the other men
Just out of interest, did you find the women also acted differently with their own man?
I don't mind looking at them if I feel comfortable with them, I noticed that some men would tell their wives what to do or their wives would ask them what they should do, they hardly spoke to me."
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"Might as well have sex with a blow up doll .......This lack of intimacy would put me right off. "
It does feel like 'Sleeping with the Enemy' why have sex with someone who apart from penetration gives vibes that they don't like you? If a guy was to treat me this way I'd feel horrible. |
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"Kissing, hugging, eye contact are all completely different actions depending on who you are doing them with. I will kiss, hug and make eye contact with someone I'm having sex with, it still doesn't make it the same "meaning" as when I do it with the person I am in love with. There's never going to be any comparison with the person you are in love with, so it seems strange to me to put arbitrary rules on physical acts. "
Yes I understand how kissing, hugging and eye contact are completely different actions and also that just because you might do them, it doesn't make it the same meaning.
I don't think to myself 'I'm not going to have intimacy with this man because I don't know him' it's just something that doesn't occur with me-They are not rules Or boundaries I've made... |
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"Might as well have sex with a blow up doll .......This lack of intimacy would put me right off.
Perhaps its the controlling man behind the lady that doesn't allow intimacy?
Or the women involved know what they like or don't like, and set their own boundaries according to their preferences? Fancy that..."
Yes, Fancy that!!! |
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"I know what you mean - I don't restrict anything but I can feel the difference in the way I touch someone I am close too. "
Yes, exactly that so maybe I'm subconsciously thinking, what's the point as I feel nothing-I'm just horny as hell.
Slightly selfish I suppose |
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"Might as well have sex with a blow up doll .......This lack of intimacy would put me right off.
It does feel like 'Sleeping with the Enemy' why have sex with someone who apart from penetration gives vibes that they don't like you? If a guy was to treat me this way I'd feel horrible. "
Definitely never felt like the enemy and I don't think the men I've had sex with would say I didn't like them or the sex.
I talk to the men, they ask what I want and I tell them. We also ask if there is anything they want so we equally all get what we want. They feel and hear my pleasure, they just don't get the intimacy side as much.
I think if the shoe was on the other foot and a man had invited us to play, I wouldn't feel horrible if he wasn't intimate with me, he is just getting what he wants-As are we.
Maybe if it was just me playing with a guy and didn't have a partner, It might feel cold.
Hopefully I'll never find out
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Kissing, hugging, eye contact are all completely different actions depending on who you are doing them with. I will kiss, hug and make eye contact with someone I'm having sex with, it still doesn't make it the same "meaning" as when I do it with the person I am in love with. There's never going to be any comparison with the person you are in love with, so it seems strange to me to put arbitrary rules on physical acts. " for me its not rules.. It is what works or doesn't for me. For me intimacy takes trust and a big connection... Before Mr and I played i only did gang bang type play. So to be fair I have pushed my limits quite a long way now... Sometimes past them and found now the place I am happy...we are polar opposites sexually with others but it works for us... And seems to work for others too...
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"Kissing, hugging, eye contact are all completely different actions depending on who you are doing them with. I will kiss, hug and make eye contact with someone I'm having sex with, it still doesn't make it the same "meaning" as when I do it with the person I am in love with. There's never going to be any comparison with the person you are in love with, so it seems strange to me to put arbitrary rules on
physical acts. for me its not rules.. It is what works or doesn't for me. For me intimacy takes trust and a big connection... Before Mr and I played i only did gang bang type play. So to be fair I have pushed my limits quite a long way now... Sometimes past them and found now the place I am happy...we are polar opposites sexually with others but it works for us... And seems to work for others too... "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Might as well have sex with a blow up doll .......This lack of intimacy would put me right off.
Perhaps its the controlling man behind the lady that doesn't allow intimacy?
I don't mean the op husband by the way...but there are some that are .
Thank you
Haha, I've never had sex with a blow up doll so can't comment
Once we are happy with who we play with, My man does control the situations we put ourselves in but that's because I ask him to.
He 'allows' me to do what I want and has put no boundaries there apart from one which I totally respect.
I know you weren't being personal about my man by the way. "
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