FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Replying to messages
Replying to messages
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We are new and tried to respond to all messages we received.However when we say "Thanks but no thanks' we then get replies asking why or messages back from same person.This now makes us just want to delete but feel very rude doing this any advise! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if they do that then delete and block - persistence is unattractive!!!!"
Agreed,we dont think twice about blocking people who cant take no for an answer x |
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we dont find it rude not to reply to all emails if the person aint in either our age range or shows clear that they aint even read the add or profile them are the ones we dont reply to.this week we asked for a dogging meet a single fella vertifyed to , asked where and what time the meet was and when should he turn yp i replyed we hadnt said we would meet him he sent back a timewaster message then blocked us lol so no dont feel bad about not replying |
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It is clearly rude to ignore messages
Especially when some are well written and concise with good spelling too and they are deleted within seconds by some ignorant people and I use the words wisely...it should be fair to reply as it takes a few seconds ..are people that busy I dont think so !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is clearly rude to ignore messages
Especially when some are well written and concise with good spelling too and they are deleted within seconds by some ignorant people and I use the words wisely...it should be fair to reply as it takes a few seconds ..are people that busy I dont think so !!"
What if they're well written but clearly not read my profile? In their 50s and live hundreds of miles away for example? Am I rude not to reply then.
Another person who thinks they know the only way to use the site and that it's ok to tell others how they should be using it.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it fuck how many messages you get a day maybe 5 if your lucky these girls get hundreds
jeez why take it personal
completely agree we have had about 40 today cant reply to em all x "
Nods head I agree with you let's send him 40 messages and see if he replys to them all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is clearly rude to ignore messages
Especially when some are well written and concise with good spelling too and they are deleted within seconds by some ignorant people and I use the words wisely...it should be fair to reply as it takes a few seconds ..are people that busy I dont think so !!"
Well I read this beautifully crafted post...but all I hear is 'boo-hoo' |
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"It is clearly rude to ignore messages
Especially when some are well written and concise with good spelling too and they are deleted within seconds by some ignorant people and I use the words wisely...it should be fair to reply as it takes a few seconds ..are people that busy I dont think so !!"
We thought the same at first but after only a few weeks our opinion has changed,some people just dont understand 'no'.As for only a few seconds to reply perhaps so,but for the first couple of weeks we were getting over 100 messages a day.Messaged back and got into ping pong messaging asking why hense or post. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hundreds of messages u are having a laugh mate ..they are not that lusted after"
I'm a tv a man dressed as a women I've had 56 messages today out of them 40 deleted. On some days especially if I am after meet I've had up to a hundred now I'm not hot like gals so they must get ton and tons
so stop moaning about it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hundreds of messages u are having a laugh mate ..they are not that lusted after"
u would be surprised how right _r n mrs swing and janelle are!! Women and single fems get loads daily. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hundreds of messages u are having a laugh mate ..they are not that lusted after
u would be surprised how right _r n mrs swing and janelle are!! Women and single fems get loads daily."
You may not lust after them but thousands of men on here do and reading your status message on your profile proves why your attacking this because your messages have been deleted and not replied |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"of course chocolate and you are both welcum !!!!!
Bless you what a gent xxx"
Just a thought, but could we have a packet of the Crunchie biscuits as well - they're gorge. |
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To the OP I would say don't feel bad atall about either not replying or deleting.
The vast majority of people who will be mailing you will be outwith the parameters of anyone you'd like to meet anyway.
On the off-chance that you accidentally either delete or don't respond to your 'ideal person' it's highly unlikely that if you were to mail them at a later date they wouldn't respond or be interested in chatting further because they are still in a big huff about it.
And if they ARE still in a big huff about it, are they the kind of people you'd like to meet anyway?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hundreds of messages u are having a laugh mate ..they are not that lusted after"
I have sent a pm to a single girl we know here and she has just said as of 5 mins ago she has received 78 messages today alone and says by the end of the night that can reach well over a hundred and we she is trying to sort out a meet she can get well over 200 messages in one day
We get on average about 40 messages a day and we did try to reply to as many as we could but we don't anymore mainly due to the amout of abuse we get sent back to us 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"of course chocolate and you are both welcum !!!!!
Bless you what a gent xxx
Just a thought, but could we have a packet of the Crunchie biscuits as well - they're gorge. "
I know dipped in a cuppa Mmmmmmm |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"of course chocolate and you are both welcum !!!!!
Bless you what a gent xxx
Just a thought, but could we have a packet of the Crunchie biscuits as well - they're gorge.
I know dipped in a cuppa Mmmmmmm"
Now I'm hungry! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is clearly rude to ignore messages
Especially when some are well written and concise with good spelling too and they are deleted within seconds by some ignorant people and I use the words wisely...it should be fair to reply as it takes a few seconds ..are people that busy I dont think so !!"
Why???
You choose to send a message and people choose not to reply.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any abuse sweets report it to admin xxx"
Have to say we never have reported any of them as would just feel like I'm running home to tell mom I got called names  |
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"It is clearly rude to ignore messages
Especially when some are well written and concise with good spelling too and they are deleted within seconds by some ignorant people and I use the words wisely...it should be fair to reply as it takes a few seconds ..are people that busy I dont think so !!"
I shall equally try to use my words wisely. I delete shit loads of messages.
It's not because my inbox is full to bursting, it's not because I don't have the time... it's because I can.... it's my choice and I owe you nothing.
I don't care how well crafted 'you' think your message is.... what's more important to me is how well crafted I think it is.
There are many people on here who delete messages from time to time.... especially when it is obvious the well written message has come from someone who ignored half of their profile. I am sure a few of them will appreciate being called rude and ignorant (in your wise words) and will be looking out for one of your concise messages with good spelling, so they can delete it just for the sake of it.... and knowing it pisses you off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is clearly rude to ignore messages
Especially when some are well written and concise with good spelling too and they are deleted within seconds by some ignorant people and I use the words wisely...it should be fair to reply as it takes a few seconds ..are people that busy I dont think so !!
What if they're well written but clearly not read my profile? In their 50s and live hundreds of miles away for example? Am I rude not to reply then.
Another person who thinks they know the only way to use the site and that it's ok to tell others how they should be using it...."
I have lots of filters to try and separate the wheat from the chaff, my profile is designed to put off all but the brave and unlike most ladies I don't get hundreds of letters a day, around 10 a day, so easy to reply to.
Of the 10 eight I'll delete without opening. The writer could rival Byron but if he's in another country and could be a former classmate of one of my kids then he's not read my profile and I owe him nothing.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is clearly rude to ignore messages
Especially when some are well written and concise with good spelling too and they are deleted within seconds by some ignorant people and I use the words wisely...it should be fair to reply as it takes a few seconds ..are people that busy I dont think so !!"
Really ??
And why do you say that ? In fact where in the rules of the site say that anyone is owed a reply to a message ?
I'll tell you where it says that ...
Nowhere !!
In fact read the FAQ's page - Admin have provided a nice little item about the very subject !!! |
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"It is clearly rude to ignore messages
Especially when some are well written and concise with good spelling too and they are deleted within seconds by some ignorant people and I use the words wisely...it should be fair to reply as it takes a few seconds ..are people that busy I dont think so !!
I shall equally try to use my words wisely. I delete shit loads of messages.
It's not because my inbox is full to bursting, it's not because I don't have the time... it's because I can.... it's my choice and I owe you nothing.
I don't care how well crafted 'you' think your message is.... what's more important to me is how well crafted I think it is.
There are many people on here who delete messages from time to time.... especially when it is obvious the well written message has come from someone who ignored half of their profile. I am sure a few of them will appreciate being called rude and ignorant (in your wise words) and will be looking out for one of your concise messages with good spelling, so they can delete it just for the sake of it.... and knowing it pisses you off."
PS: If they haven't blocked you already that is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So the next message I get that says fancy a fuck you slag should be replied back with a polite manner
It just beggars belief that someone would even send something like that."
You'd be suprised you really would got called a cunt and everything the other day fancy that I don't even have one  |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
yes all messages SHOULD be answered.
it is an outrage they are NOT.
people are so self centred that they choose to do other tasks in everyday life rather than sit on here all day.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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WOW some people take this site a bit too serious.Women and couples do get alot of mails per day so I do sympathise with the bullshit that they have to try and siff through or in the end just bulk delete.I just leave it up to people to contact me most times.If i ever start to appear desperate thats when im leaving this site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"WOW some people take this site a bit too serious.Women and couples do get alot of mails per day so I do sympathise with the bullshit that they have to try and siff through or in the end just bulk delete.I just leave it up to people to contact me most times.If i ever start to appear desperate thats when im leaving this site. "
A very good outlook
I've said the same thing time and time again. To a lot of folks, this site is their life and they cannot see past it. To us, it's a bit of fun and that's where it begins and ends.
If ever the day arrived when it winds us up and causes as much stress to us as it does to some, that's the day we go to: MY ACCOUNT/ DELETE PROFILE. |
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We used to try and reply to all messages.... it took ages! Now state if you are over our age limit and miles away we will not reply. We still reply to as many as possible, but we dont reply to winks or friends request because we just get too many. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are new and tried to respond to all messages we received.However when we say "Thanks but no thanks' we then get replies asking why or messages back from same person.This now makes us just want to delete but feel very rude doing this any advise!"
It's not rude, to delete messages without replying (see FAQs for site owners' confirmation of this). When I started, I tried to answer all messages, but like you, I found that my 'thanks but no thanks' replies often triggered more unwelcome messages. Usually 'explain why' or 'critique my profile' or insults. It was as though they thought they had a foot-in-the-door by getting any replay (even a thanks-but-no-thanks).
So I've now joined the ranks of those who just delete messages from non-compatible people. I suggest you do the same - and don't feel that you're being rude - and you'll find you have hours more time to spend on what YOU are looking for from this site xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to reply to all.. but sometimes when we are planning something we will have hundreds.. so we look at where they are, age and then just reply to the ones we want to take it further with and delete the rest.
I do tend to block those that dont interest me.. saves my time and theirs.
Katie.x |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Looks like we might be in the minority here, but I think if people make the time to mail us, we answer...even if it is No Thanks.
We just have a copy and paste message for any that don't match our profile which doesn't take much longer than to delete the mail, only a couple more clicks of the mouse,
For curiosity though, do women really get 100's of mails a day? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
For curiosity though, do women really get 100's of mails a day?"
If we have a meet up, then yes lol and of those about 2 are worth following up normally..
(thats on the singles profile) but on average I get 40 or more a day on there)
Katie. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are new and tried to respond to all messages we received.However when we say "Thanks but no thanks' we then get replies asking why or messages back from same person.This now makes us just want to delete but feel very rude doing this any advise!"
Dont worry about it, Just enjoy yoursef |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
For curiosity though, do women really get 100's of mails a day?
If we have a meet up, then yes lol and of those about 2 are worth following up normally..
(thats on the singles profile) but on average I get 40 or more a day on there)
Katie. x"
And is that new interested people?
Any advance on 40 anyone?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
And is that new interested people?
Any advance on 40 anyone? "
Mostly new people, sometimes people we have spoken with in the past.. Just because I put on my singles that I was looking for a submissive guy I got tons of mail.. lol
katie.x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"lol Yeah I can imagine.
So same question again for my curiosity, how many " new blood" mails do fems get a day"
I have had 7 this morning already.. and the profile is not online.. if I am in the chat that gets stupid.. if I am on cam.. it goes up even more.
Katie. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is clearly rude to ignore messages
Especially when some are well written and concise with good spelling too and they are deleted within seconds by some ignorant people and I use the words wisely...it should be fair to reply as it takes a few seconds ..are people that busy I dont think so !!
What if they're well written but clearly not read my profile? In their 50s and live hundreds of miles away for example? Am I rude not to reply then.
Another person who thinks they know the only way to use the site and that it's ok to tell others how they should be using it....
I have lots of filters to try and separate the wheat from the chaff, my profile is designed to put off all but the brave and unlike most ladies I don't get hundreds of letters a day, around 10 a day, so easy to reply to.
Of the 10 eight I'll delete without opening. The writer could rival Byron but if he's in another country and could be a former classmate of one of my kids then he's not read my profile and I owe him nothing.
"
The same, only the brave or stupid answer my profile - usually stupid and they are deleted straight away
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What made me laugh was the day I came on here did my profile but no picture so no one knew what I looked like within 30 mins of joining over 40 messages now they can't see me but they still said you look really sexy can they tell that by written words basically there are guys out there that will fuck anything and they deserve to be deleted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are new and tried to respond to all messages we received.However when we say "Thanks but no thanks' we then get replies asking why or messages back from same person.This now makes us just want to delete but feel very rude doing this any advise!"
Answer some if you can. Ie the ones that have taken time to send an original message to you, well that is what i do but when its 20 or more you have to draw a line. |
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Genuine guys know how this works and won't be offended if you delete without a reply.
I rarely send PM's now, unless its to friends or fellow forumites, but I certainly don't get offended if people delete any I do send. |
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"
For curiosity though, do women really get 100's of mails a day?
If we have a meet up, then yes lol and of those about 2 are worth following up normally..
(thats on the singles profile) but on average I get 40 or more a day on there)
Katie. x
And is that new interested people?
Any advance on 40 anyone? "
I had 6 one morning!! I nearly fell off my chair!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was told I was rude for not replying just to say no yesterday.....I replied he was rude not to read my profile and check my preferences...didnt have so much to say then!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No body likes to be ignored when they have sent a message, a polite "no thank you" is more than enough
But then like the OP has stated... "WHY???" I think the reply to those messages should be.. "Why should I justify my reasoning, when ultimatly it still applies as a NO!?" Or you could block that person from messaging you again if they won't take a simple no thanks as an answer  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is clearly rude to ignore messages
Especially when some are well written and concise with good spelling too and they are deleted within seconds by some ignorant people and I use the words wisely...it should be fair to reply as it takes a few seconds ..are people that busy I dont think so !!
I shall equally try to use my words wisely. I delete shit loads of messages.
It's not because my inbox is full to bursting, it's not because I don't have the time... it's because I can.... it's my choice and I owe you nothing.
I don't care how well crafted 'you' think your message is.... what's more important to me is how well crafted I think it is.
There are many people on here who delete messages from time to time.... especially when it is obvious the well written message has come from someone who ignored half of their profile. I am sure a few of them will appreciate being called rude and ignorant (in your wise words) and will be looking out for one of your concise messages with good spelling, so they can delete it just for the sake of it.... and knowing it pisses you off."
Grrrrrr!!! Feisty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No body likes to be ignored when they have sent a message, a polite "no thank you" is more than enough
But then like the OP has stated... "WHY???" I think the reply to those messages should be.. "Why should I justify my reasoning, when ultimatly it still applies as a NO!?" Or you could block that person from messaging you again if they won't take a simple no thanks as an answer "
The problem is if you say no 25% dont take it as that. They ask why not and try to keep messages going even when you have said no thanks.
The simple answer is to delete without a reply then they don't have a message to ask why from. It all takes time and you can't spend hours telling people why its a no. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are new and tried to respond to all messages we received.However when we say "Thanks but no thanks' we then get replies asking why or messages back from same person.This now makes us just want to delete but feel very rude doing this any advise!"
What I put on my profile is "If you dont here back from me in a week take it as a polite thanks but no thanks " lol saves replying to endless mails lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't really send out many messages as i understand women must be inundated with them. Of course it is always nice to receive a reply, but if I don't then I just move on. I never, ever send a follow-up to ask why as I would feel I was being pushy and desperate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A delete and send automated 'thanks but no thanks' button could prove useful perhaps."
What a genius lol
The fems dont have to worry about smudging their nail varnish to type a reply .Then dont forget to press the block button for the persistant buggers .
Two clicks , problem solved.
Simple really
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"A delete and send automated 'thanks but no thanks' button could prove useful perhaps."
Yeah , we have this option on anoter site and then people complained on the forums that the reply was not personal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is clearly rude to ignore messages
Especially when some are well written and concise with good spelling too and they are deleted within seconds by some ignorant people and I use the words wisely...it should be fair to reply as it takes a few seconds ..are people that busy I dont think so !!"
I try to reply, politely, but after saying no a couple of times two days ago I was even offered money. Not fun.... not nice.... not flattering.
Especially as my profile explains not playing/meeting. |
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"A delete and send automated 'thanks but no thanks' button could prove useful perhaps.
Yeah , we have this option on anoter site and then people complained on the forums that the reply was not personal "
How about a 'feck off you're ugly' button then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A delete and send automated 'thanks but no thanks' button could prove useful perhaps.
Yeah , we have this option on anoter site and then people complained on the forums that the reply was not personal
How about a 'feck off you're ugly' button then? "
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