FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Woman initiate sex - why not?
Woman initiate sex - why not?
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By *otgirl32 OP Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
The other day I saw a nice bloke at a non-Fab party. He was nice looking, hot infact. So I went up to him, started to talk and flirt and 30 minutes later I asked him if he'd like to go somewhere quieter. 5 minutes after that we were kissing and fondling in his car and another half hour later we were having sex in his bedroom.
After sex, he told me he loved the fact that I initiated the sex and that it was "extremely rare" for a girl to do so. I've done this many times before, of course, and think nothing of it but was wondering if other girls sort of "go for it" or wait for the bloke to make the first move. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh I'm totally different in a gg situation but only to the fact id invite someone to join us... Still wouldn't go up to a guy. Won't even make the first move in an arranged meet. Feel its the mans place x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd be too nervous to. I find it difficult to even ask for a meet even if we have met before.
Iv seen people 10 times and still only give out a hint.
I just couldn'task for it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From a guys perspective, I've rarely ever made the first move. It's just not something I can do, away from here anyway.
I'm just crap at it and absolutely love it when a woman shows she's interested. |
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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago
You Dont Need to Know, right now |
Even in my pre-swinging days, I was always happy to 'make the first move' when approaching a guy. Basically, what's the worst that could happen? He could say 'no', but I would still be in no worse a situation. At swingers clubs, I always make the first move and chat to the solo-males in the bar area. I know they find it even more nerve-racking than in a vanilla situation, and even if I only chat for 10-15 mins and don't want to play with them, I find it usually gives them a confidence-boost, and helps them to initiate conversations with other ladies/couples. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Guys have the same hang-ups as the girls. It's really refreshing to have a woman initiate things. I'm lucky that my good lady does just that with me regularly and it makes me feel incredibly desired - and has a knock-on effect into all we do. Far from it making you look bad in any way, it's great to see a girl confident enough to do it! Those of us who see women as 100% equals will never see it in anything other than a positive light.  |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
"The other day I saw a nice bloke at a non-Fab party. He was nice looking, hot infact. So I went up to him, started to talk and flirt and 30 minutes later I asked him if he'd like to go somewhere quieter. 5 minutes after that we were kissing and fondling in his car and another half hour later we were having sex in his bedroom.
After sex, he told me he loved the fact that I initiated the sex and that it was "extremely rare" for a girl to do so. I've done this many times before, of course, and think nothing of it but was wondering if other girls sort of "go for it" or wait for the bloke to make the first move."
I know your post is directed towards women to respond, I just want to say that I love the fact you make the first move and wish more women did that - swinging or non-swinging situations. I see no reason why both men and women shouldn't feel completely free to do this. Being a bit on the shy side myself, it helps things a lot to get a clear expression of interest from women.
I say good on you and wish more were like you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys have the same hang-ups as the girls. It's really refreshing to have a woman initiate things. I'm lucky that my good lady does just that with me regularly and it makes me feel incredibly desired - and has a knock-on effect into all we do. Far from it making you look bad in any way, it's great to see a girl confident enough to do it! Those of us who see women as 100% equals will never see it in anything other than a positive light. "
for me its nothing to do with confidence but that for me the man needs to make the first move x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys have the same hang-ups as the girls. It's really refreshing to have a woman initiate things. I'm lucky that my good lady does just that with me regularly and it makes me feel incredibly desired - and has a knock-on effect into all we do. Far from it making you look bad in any way, it's great to see a girl confident enough to do it! Those of us who see women as 100% equals will never see it in anything other than a positive light. for me its nothing to do with confidence but that for me the man needs to make the first move x "
That's a shame in some ways as he may think you'd never be interested in him and then you'd both potentially miss out on something great. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do.
Used to sit back and look pretty hoping I'd get asked to a room but all I got were messages the next day saying they'd seen me and didn't dare approach me.
So now I take the initiative and even invite them two at a time to a room 
Sometimes more! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If there's a attraction on both sides doesn't matter who makes the first move but if a young lady approached me would be flattered and love the encounter for what it was SEX |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
Well I have had a similar discussion with 2 ppl this week.
I said it was nice meeting but I was a bit shy. We had a chat online to find out that actually they have been in to me a while and we're waiting for me to ask to play. I was I didn't know you were intreasted.
Even last night I didn't read the signals and missed out meeting someone
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By *otgirl32 OP Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"Guys have the same hang-ups as the girls. It's really refreshing to have a woman initiate things. I'm lucky that my good lady does just that with me regularly and it makes me feel incredibly desired - and has a knock-on effect into all we do. Far from it making you look bad in any way, it's great to see a girl confident enough to do it! Those of us who see women as 100% equals will never see it in anything other than a positive light. "
TY for saying that. From some of the private mail I got in response to my post (including from ladies) I was beginning to feel like an immoral hound.
x |
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By *otgirl32 OP Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"The other day I saw a nice bloke at a non-Fab party. He was nice looking, hot infact. So I went up to him, started to talk and flirt and 30 minutes later I asked him if he'd like to go somewhere quieter. 5 minutes after that we were kissing and fondling in his car and another half hour later we were having sex in his bedroom.
After sex, he told me he loved the fact that I initiated the sex and that it was "extremely rare" for a girl to do so. I've done this many times before, of course, and think nothing of it but was wondering if other girls sort of "go for it" or wait for the bloke to make the first move.
I know your post is directed towards women to respond, I just want to say that I love the fact you make the first move and wish more women did that - swinging or non-swinging situations. I see no reason why both men and women shouldn't feel completely free to do this. Being a bit on the shy side myself, it helps things a lot to get a clear expression of interest from women.
I say good on you and wish more were like you "
TY hun. Wasn't really looking for endorsement, just was wondering if I was anomalous |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys have the same hang-ups as the girls. It's really refreshing to have a woman initiate things. I'm lucky that my good lady does just that with me regularly and it makes me feel incredibly desired - and has a knock-on effect into all we do. Far from it making you look bad in any way, it's great to see a girl confident enough to do it! Those of us who see women as 100% equals will never see it in anything other than a positive light.
TY for saying that. From some of the private mail I got in response to my post (including from ladies) I was beginning to feel like an immoral hound.
x"
People are shit.
I make the first move quite often. |
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By *otgirl32 OP Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"Guys have the same hang-ups as the girls. It's really refreshing to have a woman initiate things. I'm lucky that my good lady does just that with me regularly and it makes me feel incredibly desired - and has a knock-on effect into all we do. Far from it making you look bad in any way, it's great to see a girl confident enough to do it! Those of us who see women as 100% equals will never see it in anything other than a positive light.
TY for saying that. From some of the private mail I got in response to my post (including from ladies) I was beginning to feel like an immoral hound.
x
People are shit.
I make the first move quite often."
Some people really ARE. One woman said I should "burn in hell" for being "too easy". Really???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys have the same hang-ups as the girls. It's really refreshing to have a woman initiate things. I'm lucky that my good lady does just that with me regularly and it makes me feel incredibly desired - and has a knock-on effect into all we do. Far from it making you look bad in any way, it's great to see a girl confident enough to do it! Those of us who see women as 100% equals will never see it in anything other than a positive light.
TY for saying that. From some of the private mail I got in response to my post (including from ladies) I was beginning to feel like an immoral hound.
x
People are shit.
I make the first move quite often.
Some people really ARE. One woman said I should "burn in hell" for being "too easy". Really????"
I've never understood the point of saying someone is easy or a slut because they're on a sex site.
Um... pot, kettle, black? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys have the same hang-ups as the girls. It's really refreshing to have a woman initiate things. I'm lucky that my good lady does just that with me regularly and it makes me feel incredibly desired - and has a knock-on effect into all we do. Far from it making you look bad in any way, it's great to see a girl confident enough to do it! Those of us who see women as 100% equals will never see it in anything other than a positive light.
TY for saying that. From some of the private mail I got in response to my post (including from ladies) I was beginning to feel like an immoral hound.
x
People are shit.
I make the first move quite often.
Some people really ARE. One woman said I should "burn in hell" for being "too easy". Really????"
Hope you reported her. |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
"Guys have the same hang-ups as the girls. It's really refreshing to have a woman initiate things. I'm lucky that my good lady does just that with me regularly and it makes me feel incredibly desired - and has a knock-on effect into all we do. Far from it making you look bad in any way, it's great to see a girl confident enough to do it! Those of us who see women as 100% equals will never see it in anything other than a positive light.
TY for saying that. From some of the private mail I got in response to my post (including from ladies) I was beginning to feel like an immoral hound.
x
People are shit.
I make the first move quite often.
Some people really ARE. One woman said I should "burn in hell" for being "too easy". Really????"
Unbelievable! |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
"Guys have the same hang-ups as the girls. It's really refreshing to have a woman initiate things. I'm lucky that my good lady does just that with me regularly and it makes me feel incredibly desired - and has a knock-on effect into all we do. Far from it making you look bad in any way, it's great to see a girl confident enough to do it! Those of us who see women as 100% equals will never see it in anything other than a positive light. "
Couldn't agree more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting and eye opening. I've come across a fair few women who will happily make the first "move".
I thought there would be more, here, on a swinging site. Seems from many of the posts here that it isn't the case....you live and learn!
Maybe I shouldn't sit back and wait so much but become a bit more pro-active? But just putting out an "any ladies here fancy a fuck?" Sounds a bit crass? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never liked to make the first move as I don't like to assume someone fancies me, I always think they are just being polite and not looking to get in my knickers.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As you say in the thread title, 'why not'?
I think it's purely either confidence from either person (self-confidence or in the mutual attraction) or just old school thinking that 'it's the man's role' etc. Flirting is definitely a two way process... |
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"The other day I saw a nice bloke at a non-Fab party. He was nice looking, hot infact. So I went up to him, started to talk and flirt and 30 minutes later I asked him if he'd like to go somewhere quieter. 5 minutes after that we were kissing and fondling in his car and another half hour later we were having sex in his bedroom.
After sex, he told me he loved the fact that I initiated the sex and that it was "extremely rare" for a girl to do so. I've done this many times before, of course, and think nothing of it but was wondering if other girls sort of "go for it" or wait for the bloke to make the first move."
I think it's amazing that you pulled the guy, huge thumbs up from me.
Wish it would happen more on fab with the women messaging first.
I've never had it once in all my time on here but I understand the reasons why a, it's me not george clooney or a younger hunk and b, women get hundreds of messages anyway.
Ps have a great weekend everyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A woman has only made the first move once away from swinging. I was 18 home on leave in a club in Southampton. There I was strutting my stuff on the dance floor. A slow record came on and being a squaddie I didn't miss the chance of a smooch. Saw a thirty something woman , smiled , started that clumsy slow dance in a circle. Seconds later she had her hand down my chino's. Then said she liked a man she could control. Half hour later at her place....what a night. Needed lucazade in the morning !
Oh Leanne where are you now ?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even if I know a guy likes me I still can't bring myself to make the first move! This happened not long ago in a club situation where he made it abundantly clear that he wanted to play with me yet being respectful, he didn't actually make a physical move. 2 hours later and he left the club with me kicking myself! As soon as the first kiss has happened then it all changes and i'm very happy to rip their clothes off. Very strange  |
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By *otgirl32 OP Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"Even if I know a guy likes me I still can't bring myself to make the first move! This happened not long ago in a club situation where he made it abundantly clear that he wanted to play with me yet being respectful, he didn't actually make a physical move. 2 hours later and he left the club with me kicking myself! As soon as the first kiss has happened then it all changes and i'm very happy to rip their clothes off. Very strange "
Well, good of you to admit those regrets. When I started swinging I was very shy and had more than one such moments where I regretted not speaking up. Over the years, I find it's easier to initiate a conversation and more.
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There was no ever course in school " how to read signals from the opposite sex "
Although fab given me tons on confidence for fab
Vinalla world I de go back to being the shy 1 |
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Firstly anyone who gives anyone a hard time about morals on this site needs to get a life.
Can't believe prudes have profiles on a fucking swinging site. Or should I say cowardly prudes, no gumption to say it in the forum.
Secondly I know men a traditionally supposed to make the first move but we get nervous of rejection too. So if you are male or female and make the first move you are probably giving the other person a huge sigh of relief that they don't have to do it.
Even in a swinging situation I would not presume that their interest is in me, I always assume it's the good lady they want. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never been uncomfortable making the first move. Oddly I'm very shy, but not with sex. I can usually pick up on when someone is interested in me and if I feel the attraction too I'm happy to act on it. When I was single on here I'd often initiate contact. I'm not bothered in the slightest about being rejected as I'd rather approach someone and get knocked back than not try and potentially miss out on something.
Nell |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even in my pre-swinging days, I was always happy to 'make the first move' when approaching a guy. Basically, what's the worst that could happen? He could say 'no', but I would still be in no worse a situation. At swingers clubs, I always make the first move and chat to the solo-males in the bar area. I know they find it even more nerve-racking than in a vanilla situation, and even if I only chat for 10-15 mins and don't want to play with them, I find it usually gives them a confidence-boost, and helps them to initiate conversations with other ladies/couples. "
A woman after my own heart!
Good on you Hun!
Yeah I have no qualms making the first move! As she said - worst that can happen is you get turned down! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys have the same hang-ups as the girls. It's really refreshing to have a woman initiate things. I'm lucky that my good lady does just that with me regularly and it makes me feel incredibly desired - and has a knock-on effect into all we do. Far from it making you look bad in any way, it's great to see a girl confident enough to do it! Those of us who see women as 100% equals will never see it in anything other than a positive light. for me its nothing to do with confidence but that for me the man needs to make the first move x That's a shame in some ways as he may think you'd never be interested in him and then you'd both potentially miss out on something great. "
Not really as if he didn't make the first move he wasn't for me anyway |
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I had no problem as a single approaching blokes I fancied.
OP any one who gives you hassle for it is probably just jealous; this is a sex site after all and you are definitely hot
Strangely in the swinging world, at clubs, I find it harder to approach those I / we are interested in.
Nita |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
I can't remember the last time I approached someone and asked if they wanted to play - though there is someone I have spoke to recently and made it clear that I would join the them in the jacuzzi  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys have the same hang-ups as the girls. It's really refreshing to have a woman initiate things. I'm lucky that my good lady does just that with me regularly and it makes me feel incredibly desired - and has a knock-on effect into all we do. Far from it making you look bad in any way, it's great to see a girl confident enough to do it! Those of us who see women as 100% equals will never see it in anything other than a positive light. for me its nothing to do with confidence but that for me the man needs to make the first move x That's a shame in some ways as he may think you'd never be interested in him and then you'd both potentially miss out on something great.
Not really as if he didn't make the first move he wasn't for me anyway "
Why's that? (Just out of curiosity ).
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"The other day I saw a nice bloke at a non-Fab party. He was nice looking, hot infact. So I went up to him, started to talk and flirt and 30 minutes later I asked him if he'd like to go somewhere quieter. 5 minutes after that we were kissing and fondling in his car and another half hour later we were having sex in his bedroom.
After sex, he told me he loved the fact that I initiated the sex and that it was "extremely rare" for a girl to do so. I've done this many times before, of course, and think nothing of it but was wondering if other girls sort of "go for it" or wait for the bloke to make the first move."
As a guy, I usually take the initiative if the signs of interest are clearly there and don't mind. That being said, the best one night stand I ever had was precisely from an initiative very similar to yours. She was an alpha female and was totally in the driver's seat. A refreshing change. People who pass judgement on women for being sexually assertive are either intimidated, have an inferiority complex, or are secretly envious. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys have the same hang-ups as the girls. It's really refreshing to have a woman initiate things. I'm lucky that my good lady does just that with me regularly and it makes me feel incredibly desired - and has a knock-on effect into all we do. Far from it making you look bad in any way, it's great to see a girl confident enough to do it! Those of us who see women as 100% equals will never see it in anything other than a positive light.
TY for saying that. From some of the private mail I got in response to my post (including from ladies) I was beginning to feel like an immoral hound.
x"
Very much my pleasure - we live in a society where we should all be equal. Those who see it any other way are living very much in the past. There are many men who would think it was awesome if you approached them! x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Equal rights/opportunities and all that why shouldn't women feel confident enough to make first move xx
Burn the bra and panties I say just don't set smoke arm off xx |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
"Guys have the same hang-ups as the girls. It's really refreshing to have a woman initiate things. I'm lucky that my good lady does just that with me regularly and it makes me feel incredibly desired - and has a knock-on effect into all we do. Far from it making you look bad in any way, it's great to see a girl confident enough to do it! Those of us who see women as 100% equals will never see it in anything other than a positive light.
TY for saying that. From some of the private mail I got in response to my post (including from ladies) I was beginning to feel like an immoral hound.
x
Very much my pleasure - we live in a society where we should all be equal. Those who see it any other way are living very much in the past. There are many men who would think it was awesome if you approached them! x"
^^^ This! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love this at clubs! The reaction I get from a guy when after a chat I lean across and whisper 'is it time to get naughty yet?' Or something similar , I like the feeling of being in charge too x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have my moments, although at a club recently- my wing man made the first approach because I had a sudden fear of rejection. Most uncharacteristic, but the results gave me my confidence back! |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
"I love this at clubs! The reaction I get from a guy when after a chat I lean across and whisper 'is it time to get naughty yet?' Or something similar , I like the feeling of being in charge too x"
I would love that if it occasionally happened in clubs. I always feel like something is only ever going to happen if I ask, irrespective of how everyone involved feels. |
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Mrs O has always just gone for it, especially in clubs and parties; once she is focused in on someone there is no escape Also as a guy I find it refreshing when a lady jumps me before I even try to make a move. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys have the same hang-ups as the girls. It's really refreshing to have a woman initiate things. I'm lucky that my good lady does just that with me regularly and it makes me feel incredibly desired - and has a knock-on effect into all we do. Far from it making you look bad in any way, it's great to see a girl confident enough to do it! Those of us who see women as 100% equals will never see it in anything other than a positive light.
TY for saying that. From some of the private mail I got in response to my post (including from ladies) I was beginning to feel like an immoral hound.
x
People are shit.
I make the first move quite often.
Some people really ARE. One woman said I should "burn in hell" for being "too easy". Really????"
What a VERY sad thing to have done on her part! That's her problem, not yours. (And I mean no personal offence to her in any way). We should all be equal in everything - especially here! Whatever you do, DON'T feel bad or wrong in any way - you're not! Do what feels good for you and once again I wish more ladies were the same. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys have the same hang-ups as the girls. It's really refreshing to have a woman initiate things. I'm lucky that my good lady does just that with me regularly and it makes me feel incredibly desired - and has a knock-on effect into all we do. Far from it making you look bad in any way, it's great to see a girl confident enough to do it! Those of us who see women as 100% equals will never see it in anything other than a positive light.
TY for saying that. From some of the private mail I got in response to my post (including from ladies) I was beginning to feel like an immoral hound.
x
People are shit.
I make the first move quite often.
Some people really ARE. One woman said I should "burn in hell" for being "too easy". Really????"
Wtf!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep...I wouldn't want to suggest anything to any guy. I suppose I wouldn't want to be told thanks but no thanks! I have turned down quite a few guys politely at parties and always feel awkward doing so |
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I regularly approach guys in that situation, sometimes I get knocked back (that's fine) other times I don't and we hopefully have good fun together. I have however been told the same so few women do it and it's surprisingly a massive turn on for a lot of men. |
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haha
