FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Are you good at sharing?
Are you good at sharing?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Bearing in mind this is a Swingers site not a sex site, I've been surprised how many people don't like sharing.
I've had guys who are happy to meet and play, but then start trying to put constraints on me - say I don't want you to meet anyone else. Or woe betide you suddenly have a new veri and didn't tell them all about it beforehand.
I get it - if you're in a relationship that you should tell all- but if you're single and enjoy meeting men, women and couples. Shouldn't you be free to meet who you want, when you want - without any recourse? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends what's being shared, I can be a little territorial when it comes to percentage duvet coverage and woe betied anyone expecting me to share Jaffa Cakes  |
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"Bearing in mind this is a Swingers site not a sex site, I've been surprised how many people don't like sharing.
I've had guys who are happy to meet and play, but then start trying to put constraints on me - say I don't want you to meet anyone else. Or woe betide you suddenly have a new veri and didn't tell them all about it beforehand.
I get it - if you're in a relationship that you should tell all- but if you're single and enjoy meeting men, women and couples. Shouldn't you be free to meet who you want, when you want - without any recourse? "
Of course you're free....I guess they are showing their insecurities and maybe are actually looking for a partner. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's been ok for me on here in that sense, no guys trying to stop me fucking other guys, in fact most of my regulars often want to know what i've been up to (with all the dirty details).  |
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"It's been ok for me on here in that sense, no guys trying to stop me fucking other guys, in fact most of my regulars often want to know what i've been up to (with all the dirty details). "
Same here, I have been surprised about guys being into sharing me - love it tho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't even tell my established and long-term partners if I'm meeting someone. If a new casual partner expected to know if I was meeting someone... they would quickly find themselves not meeting me any longer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i honestly dont care
its very rare i stay in contact with people after we have met, i couldn't care less who they meet after me
most of my meets are one offs i prefer it that way its just simpler |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't and don't meet often. Those people i meet I get to know really well and I consider them good friends.
1) I wouldn't expect them to wait for me.
2) As friends, I want them to have the best times with the sexiest fellas they can find.
3) and if they pick up some new tricks to show me, even better  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm owned so took a while getting used to veris popping up from master and not being allowed meets with men only women myself. But I suppose sharing is caring  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's a lot of females that won't allow their other half's to touch another fem But it's alright if they have sex with other guys  Come across this few times in messages. Think its more control issues than some sharing |
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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"Bearing in mind this is a Swingers site not a sex site, I've been surprised how many people don't like sharing.
I've had guys who are happy to meet and play, but then start trying to put constraints on me - say I don't want you to meet anyone else. Or woe betide you suddenly have a new veri and didn't tell them all about it beforehand.
I get it - if you're in a relationship that you should tell all- but if you're single and enjoy meeting men, women and couples. Shouldn't you be free to meet who you want, when you want - without any recourse? "
I find that ridiculous. One sex meet just that - a sex meet. A couple of sex meets with the same person is just that - a couple of sex meets and NOT a relationship. I can't fathom why someone would think of putting constraints on a sex partner.
That said, here's a personal story. A couple of years ago I met a bloke through work (pharmaceutical rep). He was pretty hot, I flirted with him and invited him to mine for a drink with a wink. Good sex. Then we had a second meet and a week after that I started getting messages of the "thinking of you" sort 
Then some days later he asked me to go with him to see something. He wouldn't tell me until we got to a nice house. He took me to show a house he was buying. FFS !! I had to be rude and clear the air that we were just having sexy fun and it didn't go so well but I'm glad I nipped that one in the bud. But I bet constraints would have followed had I not. Moral of the story: some blokes (and I suspect women too) get "serious" inappropriately quickly |
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
"Bearing in mind this is a Swingers site not a sex site, I've been surprised how many people don't like sharing.
I've had guys who are happy to meet and play, but then start trying to put constraints on me - say I don't want you to meet anyone else. Or woe betide you suddenly have a new veri and didn't tell them all about it beforehand.
I get it - if you're in a relationship that you should tell all- but if you're single and enjoy meeting men, women and couples. Shouldn't you be free to meet who you want, when you want - without any recourse? "
You should be yes. However it's not always that simple sadly.
I'd have no issue meeting and then that other person meeting others. It's the nature of the site.
That said feelings of jealousy and such like are at times inevitable. It's how those are handled that matters most I guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't and don't meet often. Those people i meet I get to know really well and I consider them good friends.
1) I wouldn't expect them to wait for me.
2) As friends, I want them to have the best times with the sexiest fellas they can find.
3) and if they pick up some new tricks to show me, even better "
I'm much the same, the amount of time it can take to get all my ducks in a row means that I could be in contact with a potential meet for months. I always like hearing about their meets (details not included) but I have no claim to their time nor affections, they're friends nothing more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One of the first pieces of advice we were given is don't meet a single man more than twice as the couple found most started getting possessive after that and it wasn't worth the hassle
We've not met any single men yet so we don't know if this is true but seems like sound advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I grudgingly share Jaffa Cakes, but I try to eat them at least one tube at a time to minimise the risk of someone else spotting them and getting in on the action.
Happy for people to meet my boyfriend though. In fact I think he's off to meet a couple tonight! :P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One of the first pieces of advice we were given is don't meet a single man more than twice as the couple found most started getting possessive after that and it wasn't worth the hassle
We've not met any single men yet so we don't know if this is true but seems like sound advice "
Some can get like that, they don't last very long as a regular guy. Most of the single guys I've met more than once completely understand the boundaries and it hasn't been a problem. I Guess this isn't gender specific though. |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Bearing in mind this is a Swingers site not a sex site, I've been surprised how many people don't like sharing.
I've had guys who are happy to meet and play, but then start trying to put constraints on me - say I don't want you to meet anyone else. Or woe betide you suddenly have a new veri and didn't tell them all about it beforehand.
I get it - if you're in a relationship that you should tell all- but if you're single and enjoy meeting men, women and couples. Shouldn't you be free to meet who you want, when you want - without any recourse?
I find that ridiculous. One sex meet just that - a sex meet. A couple of sex meets with the same person is just that - a couple of sex meets and NOT a relationship. I can't fathom why someone would think of putting constraints on a sex partner.
That said, here's a personal story. A couple of years ago I met a bloke through work (pharmaceutical rep). He was pretty hot, I flirted with him and invited him to mine for a drink with a wink. Good sex. Then we had a second meet and a week after that I started getting messages of the "thinking of you" sort
Then some days later he asked me to go with him to see something. He wouldn't tell me until we got to a nice house. He took me to show a house he was buying. FFS !! I had to be rude and clear the air that we were just having sexy fun and it didn't go so well but I'm glad I nipped that one in the bud. But I bet constraints would have followed had I not. Moral of the story: some blokes (and I suspect women too) get "serious" inappropriately quickly "
A lot of people have difficulty clearly distinguishing between the physical and emotional and invariably throw them in the same bag. It happens quite frequently, which is why communication should be crystal clear. If it's to be purely physical, that's how it should remain; no ifs ands or buts. If he, or she, can't cope with that, then tough. We shouldn't compromise what we want (in this regard), to accommodate someone else's expectations. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can't and don't meet often. Those people i meet I get to know really well and I consider them good friends.
1) I wouldn't expect them to wait for me.
2) As friends, I want them to have the best times with the sexiest fellas they can find.
3) and if they pick up some new tricks to show me, even better "
And that makes perfect sense to me and is how I see it should work. |
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"I don't even tell my established and long-term partners if I'm meeting someone. If a new casual partner expected to know if I was meeting someone... they would quickly find themselves not meeting me any longer."
Same: I have some " long term"/ semipermanent relationships / partners: who have their own set of relationships.
No one is interested in what anyone else is doing ( except if we need to tell each other if we are " unavailable". - which could be for any number of reasons ; not just sexual) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've found the reverse to the OP...as in women I've met on here can throw a wobbler if I then have another meet/verification.
Happened so often on my previous profile...found it much more so with younger women....hence my age limit now being 25! |
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Am I a good sharer? Well as someone who is polyamorous as well as enjoying casual sex, yes I share well.
But I've been involved in conversations where X won't allow their partner to play with Y for no reason other than jealousy.
From occasional play partners through to my wife, I never place restrictions on who they can play with unless I feel someone is being hurt/damaged by the situation. And then it would be a conversation about the situation (it's happened just once).
I'm happy to tell regular play partners, my wife and my girlfriend when I am seeing someone if they want to know...but none of them would dream of forbidding me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who on earth would share Jaffa cakes?! I know there's some fairly depraved stuff on here, but really, there's a limit surely?!!!
I wouldn't share Jaffa cakes, I'd give them all away "
You may be the perfect woman! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When i was single there were some guys i met who didn't want me to meet others, to just meet them however they thought it was ok for them to meet others !
I just stopped seeing them, that didn't go down to well either but they soon got the messege
Until i met they guy who is now my hubby there wasn't any other guy that could keep up with me anyway lol. |
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I am another who enjoys it when my wife or girlfriend tells me about what they get up to with others.
I have come across situations in clubs where I have heard "if you play with x, y won't see you" and to be honest I find it tedious. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am another who enjoys it when my wife or girlfriend tells me about what they get up to with others.
I have come across situations in clubs where I have heard "if you play with x, y won't see you" and to be honest I find it tedious. "
Lots of people do that though. I won't play with X if they have played with Y. I don't think that's tedious, is can be for any number of reasons completely unrelated to jealousy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The non sharing / jealousy side isn't gender specific, that's for sure.
If you're not into 'sharing' and get hung up on the person/s you like meeting others / displaying veri's etc, then this really ain't the place for you.
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"Don't play with x because they have STIs" is perhaps sound advice but what I hear is more to do with personal gripes. "If you play with y then I won't play with you because y once pissed me off". I"d rather find out first hand if y is an arse. Or "don't play with z as they are my playmate"
There are people in the scene who have pissed me off at times nut I would never forbid my partners to play with them.
I agree that if you know you get jealous of playmates then this is not the place for you. |
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