FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > are desperate men ruining this site?
are desperate men ruining this site?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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hey iv been on this site a while now and had a fair amount of fun but now i feel its nearly impossible to get a meet now because women and couples receives about 100 messages a day just saying "hey babe"
anyway whats your thoughts?
jamiew1234 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Desparate men irritate me because it's needless to behave like that on here or in real life
I end up ignoring them but they don't ruin the fun I have from here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We just untick looking for men and go looking ourselves, if we fancy meeting a man. Much easier to do.
There are lots of great guys on here, just as there some not so great - but the same applies to single women and couples.
Sarah |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In happy for the idiots to waste their time acting like that. The women that are worth meeting see straight through it and make the site worth it for me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The OP as only raised something we regulars in forums read near every week - several times - in various threads - yes some will agree and knock the OP for daring asking the question/stating his case - but sadly id just add, don't fret over it fella as we men are NOT in control and its all about the chemistry etc  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As an earlier poster said if you're finding it hard now that's down to you not other guys, sounds like a bad workman blaming his tools, guys moaning about other guys is one of the most boring aspects of this site
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I believe your going to get prats what ever! The nature of the beast is that single men out number couples and women 10 fold! The other issue is because how cheap this site is, you get none swingers!
I believe the best place to network is clubs and use this site for socialising |
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"The OP as only raised something we regulars in forums read near every week - several times - in various threads - yes some will agree and knock the OP for daring asking the question/stating his case - but sadly id just add, don't fret over it fella as we men are NOT in control and its all about the chemistry etc "
A slight overstatement I think.
Where has anybody knocked the OP for asking the question?
He asked for comments.
He got them.
No knocking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As an earlier poster said if you're finding it hard now that's down to you not other guys, sounds like a bad workman blaming his tools, guys moaning about other guys is one of the most boring aspects of this site
Mr"
He was asking the thoughts of forumites about crap messages...
Why does it always have to turn into an OP bashing thread... |
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"As an earlier poster said if you're finding it hard now that's down to you not other guys, sounds like a bad workman blaming his tools, guys moaning about other guys is one of the most boring aspects of this site
Mr
He was asking the thoughts of forumites about crap messages...
Why does it always have to turn into an OP bashing thread... "
The way I read that was asking for thoughts about the impact of getting crap messages....not on the messages themselves |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's always been bad mate. We switched on our single male filter almost as soon as we joined. It was just a constant bombardment of desperate single males wanting free sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not ruining but,if you believe all the moans and single men bashing threads,there are people who let the amount of men and the types of messages they don't like,get to them. And then they moan about it. I've met a lot of men from here of all ages,races,religions,height,weight,hair length,cock size who sent messages of varying length and different tone. I would like to know why you think they spoil it. |
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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
OP, you'vr jumped to the conclusion that your problems are down to other men.
In truth, you have no profile to speak of, so that's a huge part of your problem. That's down to you, not the fault of others. Women expect a profile that interests and entices them on here.
It's actually the opposite to what you state on here. Women are so used to seeing crap messages and profiles from hundreds of guys that they are very encouraged when they see a decent one. You should see that mass of rubbish as an advantage - you have big chance to stand out from it . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not ruining but,if you believe all the moans and single men bashing threads,there are people who let the amount of men and the types of messages they don't like,get to them. And then they moan about it. I've met a lot of men from here of all ages,races,religions,height,weight,hair length,cock size who sent messages of varying length and different tone. I would like to know why you think they spoil it."
well said  |
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"OP, you'vr jumped to the conclusion that your problems are down to other men.
In truth, you have no profile to speak of, so that's a huge part of your problem. That's down to you, not the fault of others. Women expect a profile that interests and entices them on here.
It's actually the opposite to what you state on here. Women are so used to seeing crap messages and profiles from hundreds of guys that they are very encouraged when they see a decent one. You should see that mass of rubbish as an advantage - you have big chance to stand out from it ."
I agree with all of this but refrained from making a similar observation about the OP's profile, as he had not requested any comment about that. |
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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
"hey iv been on this site a while now and had a fair amount of fun but now i feel its nearly impossible to get a meet now"
Sorry, I took that phrase to mean the lack of meets was a problem for you. I still read it like that tbh, but no worries - glad I was wrong and it's all good .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There should be a 100 character minimum limit for messages!"
Why?
Different people will use the messaging facility in different ways. Do you impose minimum character limits in your real life conversations? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Doesn't ruin it for me. I either thank them and explain that they don't meet my requirements (usually by virtue of having a penis) or if they are so idiotic they don't warrant a response I just waft past them serenely. Occasionally, and I know this is naughty, I do have a jolly good giggle at the ludicrousness of the odd message or proposition (only privately of course, public shaming is uncouth, uncalled for and in ladylike). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not desperate men that ruin it.
It's ignorant, sexist and in most instances stupid men that do.
If you can't send a polite coherent message. Don't expect a response. |
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"It's not desperate men that ruin it.
It's ignorant, sexist and in most instances stupid men that do.
If you can't send a polite coherent message. Don't expect a response. "
I repeat my previous question:
How do they ruin it for others?
I can see how they ruin it for themselves... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not desperate men that ruin it.
It's ignorant, sexist and in most instances stupid men that do.
If you can't send a polite coherent message. Don't expect a response.
I repeat my previous question:
How do they ruin it for others?
I can see how they ruin it for themselves..."
Unfortunately you get tarred with the same brush, women get overwhelmed or you end up in a pile of mass delete messages before they get read. One thing that happens a lot is that women that gets lots of messages, have an inbox that can only cater for so many. So yours can easily slip down the line no matter how eloquently put and never read because some inane people tend to send ten messages to the same person in a day that just clogs their inbox. |
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"It's not desperate men that ruin it.
It's ignorant, sexist and in most instances stupid men that do.
If you can't send a polite coherent message. Don't expect a response.
I repeat my previous question:
How do they ruin it for others?
I can see how they ruin it for themselves...
Unfortunately you get tarred with the same brush, women get overwhelmed or you end up in a pile of mass delete messages before they get read. One thing that happens a lot is that women that gets lots of messages, have an inbox that can only cater for so many. So yours can easily slip down the line no matter how eloquently put and never read because some inane people tend to send ten messages to the same person in a day that just clogs their inbox. "
Well I can see that women and couples who do receive many messages a day may be harder to reach, but that doesn't apply where messages are more manageable.
I guess it does depend on how keen the recipients are to track down the better ones... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There should be a 100 character minimum limit for messages!
Why?
Different people will use the messaging facility in different ways. Do you impose minimum character limits in your real life conversations?"
Because perhaps then it'll push the one worders to actually construct a real sentence rather than "ayy bbe u wan sum fuk".
It was actually a joke, however it is rather tiring reading the same boring less than 5 word messages that are generally just rude. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not desperate men that ruin it.
It's ignorant, sexist and in most instances stupid men that do.
If you can't send a polite coherent message. Don't expect a response.
I repeat my previous question:
How do they ruin it for others?
I can see how they ruin it for themselves...
Unfortunately you get tarred with the same brush, women get overwhelmed or you end up in a pile of mass delete messages before they get read. One thing that happens a lot is that women that gets lots of messages, have an inbox that can only cater for so many. So yours can easily slip down the line no matter how eloquently put and never read because some inane people tend to send ten messages to the same person in a day that just clogs their inbox. "
However. This never really bothered me. Just an observation from my times when I had a single profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say the good people always stand out or end up meeting those who they wish to realistically attract, within fair reason.
I don't mind if there's loads of men, women or couples on here, doesn't affect my ability to be myself. |
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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
OK, this is getting silly.
It's not impossible on here. That's nonsense. Yes, you can get caught up in the mass deletion sometimes, but the millions of crap messages often make the good ones stand out all the more.
I'm 46, I'm hairy and I haven't got a six pack. I'm very ****ing far from being God's gift to a woman and I don't claim to be.
I wasn't going to say this for fear of sounding big-headed when I'm the exact opposite, but sod it, I'll say it as I'm having a crazy day...I get messages from women on a fairly regular basis. Yep, they message me - and I'm a hairy Welsh idiot.
How the hell does that happen? They do say why, but I'll leave that up to you to figure out. It really isn't rocket science though .
So it is possible to have a decent time on here. |
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By *onyneMan
over a year ago
Newcastle |
It could be argued that a good message with reasonable content and some thought will stand out more amongst the 'hundreds of messages' mentioned above...I have [on occasion] had a nice reply starting 'what a change to read a thoughtful message'. It doesn't mean people immediately want to meet, or anything necessarily, but it's nice to know they sometimes get noticed as I don't write to many people at all.
People I have chatted to seem to say that the hundreds of 'Hey babe wanna fuck' messages come thick and fast [er, okay possibly wrong phrase!] after people join, then calm down a bit after a few weeks. I'm sure this won't be the case for everyone and suspect it may have something to do with content of people's profiles...We should remember that there are also a lot of female/couple profiles that also suggest what they want is someone to come round/fill them up/be filthy etc, so it does work both ways, and this may feed into some single men's ideas of what we are here for...
All of these things are fair enough...we are all different and that is one of the good things about the site.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There should be a 100 character minimum limit for messages!
Why?
Different people will use the messaging facility in different ways. Do you impose minimum character limits in your real life conversations?
Because perhaps then it'll push the one worders to actually construct a real sentence rather than "ayy bbe u wan sum fuk".
It was actually a joke, however it is rather tiring reading the same boring less than 5 word messages that are generally just rude. "
If agree that there is no call to be rude but you can be concise and polite. I tend to prefer the to and fro of a conversation rather than long wordy messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not ruining it for me...for themselves maybe?
The one line message brigade.....just make a decent message stand out.
The "straight" guys with verifications from TV/CDs etc. just make themselves look bad.
The profiles with just cock pics...make a decent profile look all the better.... Let them carry on!
The rest if us just continue to enjoy ourselves as we see fit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How you do on this site has nothing to do with anybody but yourself, your profile, your manners, and your attitude.
Nobody is ruining anything for you."
^ this - the only guys I'm going to 'blame' for me not getting meets are those that appeal more to the ladies through the way they are and conduct themselves to them, not the ones that don't or who are 'desperate'.
We're all here for (roughly) the same thing - take control of your own destiny |
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"hey iv been on this site a while now and had a fair amount of fun but now i feel its nearly impossible to get a meet now because women and couples receives about 100 messages a day just saying "hey babe"
anyway whats your thoughts?
jamiew1234"
It is definitely someone else's fault we cannot get laid either. |
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"OK, this is getting silly.
It's not impossible on here. That's nonsense. Yes, you can get caught up in the mass deletion sometimes, but the millions of crap messages often make the good ones stand out all the more.
I'm 46, I'm hairy and I haven't got a six pack. I'm very ****ing far from being God's gift to a woman and I don't claim to be.
I wasn't going to say this for fear of sounding big-headed when I'm the exact opposite, but sod it, I'll say it as I'm having a crazy day...I get messages from women on a fairly regular basis. Yep, they message me - and I'm a hairy Welsh idiot.
How the hell does that happen? They do say why, but I'll leave that up to you to figure out. It really isn't rocket science though .
So it is possible to have a decent time on here."
Well said and I could mirror that word for word except to replace to replace "hairy Welsh" with "old English" .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On the contrary, I'd say 9 out of 10 messages we receive from guys are well written with pics attached whereas 9 out of 10 message we receive from other couples are along the lines of 'nice pics' or 'hi let's meet'. I know which I prefer |
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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
"OK, this is getting silly.
It's not impossible on here. That's nonsense. Yes, you can get caught up in the mass deletion sometimes, but the millions of crap messages often make the good ones stand out all the more.
I'm 46, I'm hairy and I haven't got a six pack. I'm very ****ing far from being God's gift to a woman and I don't claim to be.
I wasn't going to say this for fear of sounding big-headed when I'm the exact opposite, but sod it, I'll say it as I'm having a crazy day...I get messages from women on a fairly regular basis. Yep, they message me - and I'm a hairy Welsh idiot.
How the hell does that happen? They do say why, but I'll leave that up to you to figure out. It really isn't rocket science though .
So it is possible to have a decent time on here.
Well said and I could mirror that word for word except to replace to replace "hairy Welsh" with "old English" .. "
Ha ha - let's form a old bastard, Mr average, cross-border tag-team. We'll be beating them off with a shitty stick. |
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"Are desperate men ruining this site?"
To a degree, yes.
We get hundreds of meshes some days and no matter how specific we might be in our profile the vast majority are from guys with no info, no photo or just a cock pic and say something like "Your fit" or Wanna fuck".
I know we can just delete and move on but decent, thoughtful guys just get diluted by the derth of pointless contacts.
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"How you do on this site has nothing to do with anybody but yourself, your profile, your manners, and your attitude.
Nobody is ruining anything for you.
Exactly right, no effort no reward"
Can't agree.
No matter how well thought out your profile is or how fantastic your attitude, getting hundreds of emails from people who don't read the profile and have no manners is bound to negatively effect your experience of the site. |
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"hey iv been on this site a while now and had a fair amount of fun but now i feel its nearly impossible to get a meet now because women and couples receives about 100 messages a day just saying "hey babe"
anyway whats your thoughts?
jamiew1234"
Definitely making harder for you guys, we're close to blocking single guys because of the idiots. |
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"How you do on this site has nothing to do with anybody but yourself, your profile, your manners, and your attitude.
Nobody is ruining anything for you.
Exactly right, no effort no reward
Can't agree.
No matter how well thought out your profile is or how fantastic your attitude, getting hundreds of emails from people who don't read the profile and have no manners is bound to negatively effect your experience of the site. "
That sounds horrendous and I do sympathise and I daresay it does negatively affect your experience of the site, but it has no effect on mine.
If my message does get swamped then I move on to another. I invariably find someone compatible to converse with and eventually meet |
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