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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If you show someone you're enjoying sex with affection will they always think there is more to it?
I ask because in the past I have probably been guilty of thinking that I must be sort of special if he's like this with me....
Recently it has happened to me but the other way round.
The more time we spend together will we always fall in this little emotional trap?
How do you effectively balance your desire for affection with the reality of the situation?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As would I. Sex without a connection may as well just be a lubed up handy in the dark. It doesn't do it for me.
But what's the line. Is it time or should we not cuddle after sex? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As would I. Sex without a connection may as well just be a lubed up handy in the dark. It doesn't do it for me.
But what's the line. Is it time or should we not cuddle after sex? "
Cuddle and kiss then round 2 after 5 mins 
Depends on the persons invovled. Sounds like youve found that connection thou  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As would I. Sex without a connection may as well just be a lubed up handy in the dark. It doesn't do it for me.
But what's the line. Is it time or should we not cuddle after sex?
Cuddle and kiss then round 2 after 5 mins
Depends on the persons invovled. Sounds like youve found that connection thou "
That is the problem. They thought it was more than me enjoying the sex and I gave the impression I wanted more.
I'd like to avoid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As would I. Sex without a connection may as well just be a lubed up handy in the dark. It doesn't do it for me.
But what's the line. Is it time or should we not cuddle after sex?
Cuddle and kiss then round 2 after 5 mins
Depends on the persons invovled. Sounds like youve found that connection thou
That is the problem. They thought it was more than me enjoying the sex and I gave the impression I wanted more.
I'd like to avoid. "
You didnt give the impression id say the guy got ahead of himself |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've read somewhere that woman produce 'bonding' hormones when having sex. Its a natural thing.
"
Really?
I guess you do always end up in some what of a euphoric state afterwards.
I'm not an affectionate person until just after sex and then it depends on the guy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's the time aspect. Spending time with someone regularly may lead them to think it's more than what it is.
"
Do you make it clear from the start that its only nsa you want? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it's the time aspect. Spending time with someone regularly may lead them to think it's more than what it is.
Do you make it clear from the start that its only nsa you want?"
I mean. If telling someone to their face that you don't want a relationship is making it clear. And doing that countless times. And having sex a club with someone else when they're there could be seen as telling them. Then yes....I feel I was clear but apparently my body language was different.
It's not that I didn't like him. I just don't want a relationship with anyone.
Maybe another time perhaps but I was clear my intention right now was to do all the things I've wanted to do without worrying about anyone else.
That's why I'm doing his outside of a relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's the time aspect. Spending time with someone regularly may lead them to think it's more than what it is.
Do you make it clear from the start that its only nsa you want?
I mean. If telling someone to their face that you don't want a relationship is making it clear. And doing that countless times. And having sex a club with someone else when they're there could be seen as telling them. Then yes....I feel I was clear but apparently my body language was different.
It's not that I didn't like him. I just don't want a relationship with anyone.
Maybe another time perhaps but I was clear my intention right now was to do all the things I've wanted to do without worrying about anyone else.
That's why I'm doing his outside of a relationship. "
He sounds needy and i dont mean that to be funny. Ive read your profile and does explain all. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm very new to this and probably did give mixed signals I suppose.
I guess going from dating and accepting that you're just not ready to this is quite the jump.
Just trying to work out how everyone else finds that balance and keeps it uncomplicated. |
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Affection definitely heightens the sensuality further.
Who wouldn't want to be stroked and cuddled and kissed?
DOesn't mean you don't alternate that with hard, ferocious fucking and kissing too.
It just needs both to have an open mind and make sure you've got your right 'head' on so that you don't get potentially hurt.
But you're going to be inside(from a male perspective)someone's body, and have their's around yours. May as well go the whole intimacy hog while you're at it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you show someone you're enjoying sex with affection will they always think there is more to it?
I ask because in the past I have probably been guilty of thinking that I must be sort of special if he's like this with me....
Recently it has happened to me but the other way round.
The more time we spend together will we always fall in this little emotional trap?
How do you effectively balance your desire for affection with the reality of the situation?
"
I'm affectionate you can't get round it we are not machines its only the cold that achieve NSA without emotion          |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you show someone you're enjoying sex with affection will they always think there is more to it?
I ask because in the past I have probably been guilty of thinking that I must be sort of special if he's like this with me....
Recently it has happened to me but the other way round.
The more time we spend together will we always fall in this little emotional trap?
How do you effectively balance your desire for affection with the reality of the situation?
I'm affectionate you can't get round it we are not machines its only the cold that achieve NSA without emotion "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm very new to this and probably did give mixed signals I suppose.
I guess going from dating and accepting that you're just not ready to this is quite the jump.
Just trying to work out how everyone else finds that balance and keeps it uncomplicated. "
It's all in how you approach your meets?
It's obvious that you have met more than once or twice ?
Explain that it's just fun and that you'd like to keep it nsa ?
My fwb and me have had this talk and still enjoy fun as 2 single ppl but also when we meet others ?
Hope this makes sense ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm very new to this and probably did give mixed signals I suppose.
I guess going from dating and accepting that you're just not ready to this is quite the jump.
Just trying to work out how everyone else finds that balance and keeps it uncomplicated.
It's all in how you approach your meets?
It's obvious that you have met more than once or twice ?
Explain that it's just fun and that you'd like to keep it nsa ?
My fwb and me have had this talk and still enjoy fun as 2 single ppl but also when we meet others ?
Hope this makes sense ?"
Quite a few times more than once or twice.
Think I just need to keep a safe distance. |
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There are lots of people on fab because emotional and physical intimacy is missing from their lives and being human they crave it they're the people who find it easy to ignore what you're saying and believe what they think is implied in body language. Unless you can be sure someone is of the same mind as you I think it's best to limit meets or space them widely. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There are lots of people on fab because emotional and physical intimacy is missing from their lives and being human they crave it they're the people who find it easy to ignore what you're saying and believe what they think is implied in body language. Unless you can be sure someone is of the same mind as you I think it's best to limit meets or space them widely."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The lifestyle we enjoy does have its pitfalls and showing affection is one - I am a very passionate person and like to express that when meeting others for sex - but accept that others on here just prefer the coldness of pure sex ..end off and move on ....Sex is a lovely experience and two or more consenting adults should be able to express their feelings, without feeling guilty |
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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
I think stroking, cuddling, kissing, carressing (in other words acts of "affection") IS sex. The fucking comes afterwards and even during that, if a guy snogs me, it's heaven. So during those moments of affection there's definitely an emotional connection but unlike with a BF or husband, that connection stops after sex in a NSA swinging relationship. Some younger blokes sort of blur those lines and get into trouble but no reason why it can't happen to women too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm very new to this and probably did give mixed signals I suppose.
I guess going from dating and accepting that you're just not ready to this is quite the jump.
Just trying to work out how everyone else finds that balance and keeps it uncomplicated.
It's all in how you approach your meets?
It's obvious that you have met more than once or twice ?
Explain that it's just fun and that you'd like to keep it nsa ?
My fwb and me have had this talk and still enjoy fun as 2 single ppl but also when we meet others ?
Hope this makes sense ?
Quite a few times more than once or twice.
Think I just need to keep a safe distance. "
Be a good start by going to the social on Saturday and having not only a good look but mix to see how ppl approach your dilemma ? |
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