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Touching without asking at clubs
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I hate being touched without being asked, it's a real thing with me and I find it happens way too often. I was in the hot tub today at Kestrels chatting and having banter with a guy (as well as my friends), things were going great but then the hand on the knee happened. Not just a brush but a stroke then he left it there.
To be fair it wasn't in an intimate area as some guys have done in the past but still got told don't touch without asking. I guess if I was on my back legs akimbo in an open room with plenty of guys already then it may indicate I'm up for it and possibly no need to ask but I was chilling and chatting with friends.
One (male) friend thinks it's a way of asking but to me it's an assumption that I want touching and I find it rude and disrespectful. Do any of your ladies mind being touched without being asked? Are there any places you feel it's ok to touch without asking? What's your boundary? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hate being touched in clubs without asking. There seems to have been a lot of threads about it recently. Some people don't mind and see it as a way of gauging interest but I personally can't stand it. Especially when I'm in the middle of playing with others.
-Courtney |
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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago
You Dont Need to Know, right now |
I don't mind men touching my knee or arms, without asking... I view it as an approach to enquire about the possibility of play, without actually asking (if you know what I mean). If I don't want to play with them, I just firmly grasp their hand and remove it.
But touching above the knee or trying to touch my body would be a definite no-no, and I would make sure they knew, in no uncertain terms! |
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I hate being touched without being asked as anyone who was in Amour last Thursday will have heard!! 1 stroke of my ass was ignored but when it happened a second time I lost the plot as what would he have done in an open play area? Just taken it on himself to join in? Needless to say management were called and he was dealt with straight away |
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We've had some very bad experiences at clubs with guys touching. Abfabs had got to the point (on a Fri) that we were genuinely scared, guys were actually groping as we walked past. On one occasion 3 guys tried to literally pull one of the shed doors off while we were entertaining a young man inside. We told security and we told if we point then out they be barred etc. That meant going back in and all we wanted to do was go home at that point. At a recent bmfc party we couldn't get any privacy with other guys barging the doors open while we were with someone. We went to the pool and 1 guy came in, undressed, jumped in and moved straight over 'for a cuddle' as he called it. We were helpfully told by security that we should wait until 2am as most people would be playing by then and we should be left alone.
We've not been back to abfabs or bmfc since those nights. We've started using pleasures in Kent as they seem totally on point about security and privacy.
Now, when the mood takes me and I'm feeling greedy, I'm in a room, naked, with an open door, they're welcome to come and watch, or touch, or even more. But a closed door should mean stay out, not barge in if you want! |
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By *olcpl77Couple
over a year ago
halstead |
"I don't mind men touching my knee or arms, without asking... I view it as an approach to enquire about the possibility of play, without actually asking (if you know what I mean). If I don't want to play with them, I just firmly grasp their hand and remove it.
But touching above the knee or trying to touch my body would be a definite no-no, and I would make sure they knew, in no uncertain terms!"
That's exactly how we thought it worked in clubs if u wanted to know if someone wanted to play or not or vice versa if u wanted to play with them |
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"We've had some very bad experiences at clubs with guys touching. "
I've experienced both the walk past groping and trying to barge into or rip the door off locked rooms even when there's no thanks on the door. The problem I think for this is mainly guys who are not swingers but see a sex club where the women there are to service them. Wankpuffins (thanks wasp!)
I'd love to see a short list of accepted 'etiquette' at the entrance and pointed to every time a single guy goes in, even though what's accepted clearly varies between people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yup our last two club visits have resulted in jools being groped, quite intimately once, she didn't realise it was another guy standing behind her thought it was me. Freaked out when she realised.
As did I afterwards.
We will not be attending Abfabs again, as it seems rules are not enforced and the atmosphere feels more like a brothel than a sex club.
That said at least at a brothel if you touched without asking you would certainly get thrown out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We've had some very bad experiences at clubs with guys touching.
I've experienced both the walk past groping and trying to barge into or rip the door off locked rooms even when there's no thanks on the door. The problem I think for this is mainly guys who are not swingers but see a sex club where the women there are to service them. Wankpuffins (thanks wasp!)
I'd love to see a short list of accepted 'etiquette' at the entrance and pointed to every time a single guy goes in, even though what's accepted clearly varies between people. "
But the etiquette list should be given to EVERYONE that goes in. Men, women, couples. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rule number one...ALWAYS ask before touching!
Rule number two... NO means NO!
Follow these two simple rules and you will go a long way, disobey them and you will find the exit quite quickly.
There is never a problem at the club I go to, everyone is respectful of each other |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel sorry for men. They are on a hiding to nothing. If i don't want attention I make it clear. If i am naked, close to them and horny i don't blame them for trying.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel sorry for men. They are on a hiding to nothing. If i don't want attention I make it clear. If i am naked, close to them and horny i don't blame them for trying. "
But its ALWAYS respectful to ask first, not just assume your allowed because the female is already playing. |
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If anyone touches without asking, they get a loud and harsh retort. The only time when this has been really awkward is when the female of a couple who had invited us to their private party insisted I must want to play with her because I am bi .,... and spent a good few minutes rubbing up my arm. It took me a while, but I flipped my lid and pretty much destroyed the atmosphere of the party. We dont go to private meets any more because of this situation ... too, too much pressure and no fun. |
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Hate it and I always speak my mind. Luckily it doesn't happen often.
However I've seen women grope guys, one incident, the guy was clearly mortified at the d*unken woman sobering all over him and he wasn't sure what to do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On the other hand I have no problem with Women touching Me without asking first but is it different that way round??  "
Hmmmm... tricky one!
If you don't mind the attention then it's up to the individual, if the females had to ask us if they can touch/play etc then how would the men respond?
I think I can guess at most of you wouldn't mind, let's face it, we WANT to have fun, but what about if your not attracted to the female? |
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By *lovisMan
over a year ago
Twickenham |
"We've had some very bad experiences at clubs with guys touching. Abfabs had got to the point (on a Fri) that we were genuinely scared, guys were actually groping as we walked past. On one occasion 3 guys tried to literally pull one of the shed doors off while we were entertaining a young man inside. We told security and we told if we point then out they be barred etc. That meant going back in and all we wanted to do was go home at that point. At a recent bmfc party we couldn't get any privacy with other guys barging the doors open while we were with someone. We went to the pool and 1 guy came in, undressed, jumped in and moved straight over 'for a cuddle' as he called it. We were helpfully told by security that we should wait until 2am as most people would be playing by then and we should be left alone.
We've not been back to abfabs or bmfc since those nights. We've started using pleasures in Kent as they seem totally on point about security and privacy.
Now, when the mood takes me and I'm feeling greedy, I'm in a room, naked, with an open door, they're welcome to come and watch, or touch, or even more. But a closed door should mean stay out, not barge in if you want!"
Check out my 'Door Rattling and Knocking ' post on the club's forum from the end of last week. |
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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago
You Dont Need to Know, right now |
I once had an amusing 'touching without asking' experience. There were about 8 of us in the Jacuzzi, and a lady and 2 gentlemen were (ahem!) getting on very well together. So the rest of us were sitting in silence, so as not to disturb them. Guy sitting on my left put his arm around me, touching my lower back. No problem, I thought, he won't want to ask and break the mood for the copulating threesome. (And I was sitting on my arse, so he wasn't touching anywhere too intimate!) Then guy sitting on my right had the same idea, put his arm round my lower back, and found himself holding hands with the guy sitting on my left 
Complete uproar, as they both realised they were holding hands with a man They both made a swift exit from the Jacuzzi, with amazingly red faces
Bit of a shame, really, as one of them was quite a hunk, so I might have done! Unfortunately, the commotion also disturbed the threesome, but that wasn't my fault  |
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By *easing_twoCouple
over a year ago
Bristol, Thornbury |
We was at a club a while back in a private room with the door closed. T was playing on the bed with a guy we met. Without warning a guy walked in cock in hand wanking, I said to him calmly "it's a private room " he just kept wanking. So I told him to fuck off. T was to busy to notice so lucky it didn't ruin her moment, I could have killed him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone did it to nik in a intimate place .I'd class that as a sexual assault and his night would end right there with one hit. I am not a possessive type of guy and enjoy her interacting but that is beyond acceptable. I'd probably even follow it up with a call to the police |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I (mrs) am not a touchy type person in general clubs or no clubs. There's a few people ill let touch me, intimately or friendly, it makes me anxious. In clubs id prefer to be asked, at new year we were in a club playing in an open area with another couple. We dont mind people watching but then a man who was there as part of a couple tried to stick his tongue in my mouth whilst grabbing at my nipples!!! Who does that???  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find this a difficult one, as a couple we're pretty useless at initiating play with anyone says would be grateful for the approach, however it's not good if you're not attracted to the couple. On the other hand we're not likely to do this ourselves as we're far to chicken to initiate contact.  |
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"Oh always ask beforehand definately ??
Just common courtesy really, would you walk up to a stranger in the street and just stroke their thigh or whatever else ? Haha"
I agree, but men are simple creatures...lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel sorry for men. They are on a hiding to nothing. If i don't want attention I make it clear. If i am naked, close to them and horny i don't blame them for trying.
But its ALWAYS respectful to ask first, not just assume your allowed because the female is already playing. "
I agree with you but the same people say an erect cock cannot think of anything else.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone did it to nik in a intimate place .I'd class that as a sexual assault and his night would end right there with one hit. I am not a possessive type of guy and enjoy her interacting but that is beyond acceptable. I'd probably even follow it up with a call to the police "
You would call the police from the sex club and get 8 police round to take statements from all witnesses ? For a brush to the bottom ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My worst experience was when I was having an mmf with two guys recently. We'd been unable to get a private room so went in a public room! I'd played with the guys - who were good friends - once before so I was fairly relaxed!
We had a bit of a (male) audience so one of them was struggling (understandably) to stand to attention - so I just kissed him, assured him it was fine, and he moved behind me to watch us. A little later I heard a condom packet tear and felt myself being taken from behind. Good stuff, I thought, watching has turned him on - as it sometimes does!
I turned to smile at him and saw him behind and to the right of me!
The look of horror on my face said it all when I realised it was one of the watching guys who'd just 'taken over'!  |
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I've had some guys who seem to think you're fair game to touch if you're dressed well or haven't mindread that they were going to grope you, and thus you'd preemptively tell them to f off.
Worse is if they sneakily insert a finger or touch you, whilst playing with others - I assume it's to probably be unnoticed by you, so you'll assume it was the engaged participants.
On the whole though guys at clubs are better behaved than some fab guys display with their courtesy, or lack of. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone did it to nik in a intimate place .I'd class that as a sexual assault and his night would end right there with one hit. I am not a possessive type of guy and enjoy her interacting but that is beyond acceptable. I'd probably even follow it up with a call to the police
You would call the police from the sex club and get 8 police round to take statements from all witnesses ? For a brush to the bottom ?"
Where did I say a brush on the bottom????
If someone sexually grabbed her.sticking fingers in her cunt etc as we walked past.first I would punch the fucker.
then report it.the man will not want the publicity so he ain't going to press charges.
Someone grabbed her tits whilst we were playing in libs alone on a bed.I stopped looked at him and he stood up.I stood up and put my finger in his nose hole and told him to trot on quick sharp.he did luckily.
I am happy for nik to fuck other guys but people who take the piss deserve a little chatting to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My worst experience was when I was having an mmf with two guys recently. We'd been unable to get a private room so went in a public room! I'd played with the guys - who were good friends - once before so I was fairly relaxed!
We had a bit of a (male) audience so one of them was struggling (understandably) to stand to attention - so I just kissed him, assured him it was fine, and he moved behind me to watch us. A little later I heard a condom packet tear and felt myself being taken from behind. Good stuff, I thought, watching has turned him on - as it sometimes does!
I turned to smile at him and saw him behind and to the right of me!
The look of horror on my face said it all when I realised it was one of the watching guys who'd just 'taken over'! "
Wtf
What did you do? If this happened to me I'm afraid of how Marc would react.
-Courtney |
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"My worst experience was when I was having an mmf with two guys recently. We'd been unable to get a private room so went in a public room! I'd played with the guys - who were good friends - once before so I was fairly relaxed!
We had a bit of a (male) audience so one of them was struggling (understandably) to stand to attention - so I just kissed him, assured him it was fine, and he moved behind me to watch us. A little later I heard a condom packet tear and felt myself being taken from behind. Good stuff, I thought, watching has turned him on - as it sometimes does!
I turned to smile at him and saw him behind and to the right of me!
The look of horror on my face said it all when I realised it was one of the watching guys who'd just 'taken over'! "
Shame the guys you agreed to play with didn't intervene. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
I must say I have been seeing an increased amount of touching without asking in the last few months.
I have a lot to say on this matter mainly as it takes the piss. I always try to air on side of caution and it might mean that people think I am not flirting or not intreasted but it's not the case. For me I can bloody behave.
There was a couple that were having some spanking fun on Saturday that I was watching and would off liked to have joined in. I did ask mention to them later on in the evening oh I did enjoy you being spanked but because I didn't know you that well so I didn't ask to participate. The lady goes well you can now bends over and says go on
Tbh a lot of my female couple friends have often said Mike you shoud touch like arm or sholder more and I said why we have all got our personal space and I am the same. Even in a club if I don't know the person and she starts to touch in a non play situation I do become I comfatable
Also I want to clarify something that I see happen is prior concent does not always mean that it is a given to touch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My worst experience was when I was having an mmf with two guys recently. We'd been unable to get a private room so went in a public room! I'd played with the guys - who were good friends - once before so I was fairly relaxed!
We had a bit of a (male) audience so one of them was struggling (understandably) to stand to attention - so I just kissed him, assured him it was fine, and he moved behind me to watch us. A little later I heard a condom packet tear and felt myself being taken from behind. Good stuff, I thought, watching has turned him on - as it sometimes does!
I turned to smile at him and saw him behind and to the right of me!
The look of horror on my face said it all when I realised it was one of the watching guys who'd just 'taken over'! "
WTF. I've seen it happen, I was playing with a good friend of mine at a party she'd bent over to suck her husband off while I was encouraged to fuck her from behind. I turned away to get a condom put it on ready to slip in to find some guy had decided to try take my place. I went mad at him, my friend was chuffed as she thought it was me and not someone else.
people gotta learn it's not a free for all. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
Exactly there should be some etiquette if I am playing in a club and say the guy has to gone to get a condom on I would not think about replacing him - though I have seen that happen more than once or the guys that push in front of you to get better look and push past you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My worst experience was when I was having an mmf with two guys recently. We'd been unable to get a private room so went in a public room! I'd played with the guys - who were good friends - once before so I was fairly relaxed!
We had a bit of a (male) audience so one of them was struggling (understandably) to stand to attention - so I just kissed him, assured him it was fine, and he moved behind me to watch us. A little later I heard a condom packet tear and felt myself being taken from behind. Good stuff, I thought, watching has turned him on - as it sometimes does!
I turned to smile at him and saw him behind and to the right of me!
The look of horror on my face said it all when I realised it was one of the watching guys who'd just 'taken over'! "
Why didn't your friend stop him? Or did he invite him to do it? . What did you do anyway?  |
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"If someone did it to nik in a intimate place .I'd class that as a sexual assault and his night would end right there with one hit. I am not a possessive type of guy and enjoy her interacting but that is beyond acceptable. I'd probably even follow it up with a call to the police
You would call the police from the sex club and get 8 police round to take statements from all witnesses ? For a brush to the bottom ?
Where did I say a brush on the bottom????
If someone sexually grabbed her.sticking fingers in her cunt etc as we walked past.first I would punch the fucker.
then report it.the man will not want the publicity so he ain't going to press charges.
Someone grabbed her tits whilst we were playing in libs alone on a bed.I stopped looked at him and he stood up.I stood up and put my finger in his nose hole and told him to trot on quick sharp.he did luckily.
I am happy for nik to fuck other guys but people who take the piss deserve a little chatting to. "
Although am not that desperate to smack anyone's bum or grab their boobs when they walk past, I wouldn't want to be in a club with someone who has the tendency to punch another.
That would kill the mood for me throughout the night, and don't have time to give a police report or have someone's blood mistakenly touching me. Still wondering what you'll do if the guy looks like John Cena but guess that's not my business. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My worst experience was when I was having an mmf with two guys recently. We'd been unable to get a private room so went in a public room! I'd played with the guys - who were good friends - once before so I was fairly relaxed!
We had a bit of a (male) audience so one of them was struggling (understandably) to stand to attention - so I just kissed him, assured him it was fine, and he moved behind me to watch us. A little later I heard a condom packet tear and felt myself being taken from behind. Good stuff, I thought, watching has turned him on - as it sometimes does!
I turned to smile at him and saw him behind and to the right of me!
The look of horror on my face said it all when I realised it was one of the watching guys who'd just 'taken over'!
Wtf
What did you do? If this happened to me I'm afraid of how Marc would react.
-Courtney "
Fortunately the look of horror on my face was enough to stop him in his tracks!
It was his first time at a club and was billed as a greedy girls (I'm not greedy as such - I just go because they tend to be well attended) Because I was in a public room and with two guys I can see where the confusion was - tbh I told the guys I was playing with off more than him! Tbh I think the tears of shock welling in my eyes were enough to make them all realise pretty quickly that swingers clubs aren't brothels! The new guy left the club pretty quickly and clearly felt dreadful so I very doubt he'd do the same thing again!
Club rules need to be very clearly displayed at events like this where you get newbies who don't v'know the score' - for the benefit of men as well as women! |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"My worst experience was when I was having an mmf with two guys recently. We'd been unable to get a private room so went in a public room! I'd played with the guys - who were good friends - once before so I was fairly relaxed!
We had a bit of a (male) audience so one of them was struggling (understandably) to stand to attention - so I just kissed him, assured him it was fine, and he moved behind me to watch us. A little later I heard a condom packet tear and felt myself being taken from behind. Good stuff, I thought, watching has turned him on - as it sometimes does!
I turned to smile at him and saw him behind and to the right of me!
The look of horror on my face said it all when I realised it was one of the watching guys who'd just 'taken over'!
Wtf
What did you do? If this happened to me I'm afraid of how Marc would react.
-Courtney
Fortunately the look of horror on my face was enough to stop him in his tracks!
It was his first time at a club and was billed as a greedy girls (I'm not greedy as such - I just go because they tend to be well attended) Because I was in a public room and with two guys I can see where the confusion was - tbh I told the guys I was playing with off more than him! Tbh I think the tears of shock welling in my eyes were enough to make them all realise pretty quickly that swingers clubs aren't brothels! The new guy left the club pretty quickly and clearly felt dreadful so I very doubt he'd do the same thing again!
Club rules need to be very clearly displayed at events like this where you get newbies who don't v'know the score' - for the benefit of men as well as women! "
Peachy agreed but then every club has rules up but people clearly don't read or incapable of
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My worst experience was when I was having an mmf with two guys recently. We'd been unable to get a private room so went in a public room! I'd played with the guys - who were good friends - once before so I was fairly relaxed!
We had a bit of a (male) audience so one of them was struggling (understandably) to stand to attention - so I just kissed him, assured him it was fine, and he moved behind me to watch us. A little later I heard a condom packet tear and felt myself being taken from behind. Good stuff, I thought, watching has turned him on - as it sometimes does!
I turned to smile at him and saw him behind and to the right of me!
The look of horror on my face said it all when I realised it was one of the watching guys who'd just 'taken over'!
Why didn't your friend stop him? Or did he invite him to do it? . What did you do anyway? "
First time I'd played with him in public and had only seen them once before (they were good friends with each other - not with me) - guessing they thought that, as I was at a greedy girls, that I must be greedy and probably wouldn't mind!
In the same circumstances I'm guessing some ladies wouldn't have minded at all! Obviously I won't be playing in public rooms at similar events from now on! I'll just go without next time if the private rooms are full!! X |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
You would be suprised....
I even now aka do you mind if I watch as it shows that they may or may not be ok with it also do you mind if I watch and wank
Sometimes couples will yes we do mind sometimes they won't you just have to take the rough with the smooth
I always wonder with people i know would they mind me asking if I could watch or would it be inherent that they would be ok with it and no need to ask
Recently I discussed this and was said course you can watch you didn't need to ask but I / we appreciated that you did |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"I'm still non the wiser after reading this post ....some like some light touching and others will not be impressed !"
Ok a question for ladies if a person (assume man) was clearly flirting with you and you were intreasted but you wanted him to be assertive what would you do to encourage
Like me I won't take the lead so I would want the lady couple to maybe take my hand and take the lead and then invite me but it could be demonstrated that I am not intreasted
I think my takeaway is that verbal communication is as important as non verbal communication. I will admit and openly hold my hands up to getting it wrong in the past |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Totally unacceptable. Not just in a club but ANYWHERE. Should be reported, given a warning by staff....repeat offence and out and banned.
Hard enough for single guys without knobjockeys spoiling it further by being inappropriately expectational! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My worst experience was when I was having an mmf with two guys recently. We'd been unable to get a private room so went in a public room! I'd played with the guys - who were good friends - once before so I was fairly relaxed!
We had a bit of a (male) audience so one of them was struggling (understandably) to stand to attention - so I just kissed him, assured him it was fine, and he moved behind me to watch us. A little later I heard a condom packet tear and felt myself being taken from behind. Good stuff, I thought, watching has turned him on - as it sometimes does!
I turned to smile at him and saw him behind and to the right of me!
The look of horror on my face said it all when I realised it was one of the watching guys who'd just 'taken over'!
Why didn't your friend stop him? Or did he invite him to do it? . What did you do anyway?
First time I'd played with him in public and had only seen them once before (they were good friends with each other - not with me) - guessing they thought that, as I was at a greedy girls, that I must be greedy and probably wouldn't mind!
In the same circumstances I'm guessing some ladies wouldn't have minded at all! Obviously I won't be playing in public rooms at similar events from now on! I'll just go without next time if the private rooms are full!! X"
Did you let the guy continue to completion? If you are at a GG event it is probably asking too much to have every guy interrupt your activity to seek permission; isn't it?.
I don't go to clubs so we have GG days at home. Every guy there is vetted and can fuck me; makes it easy.
I had a thought though for you; maybe you could hand out tickets? Put up a sign. "No ticket = no fuck. Tickets are not transferable"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My worst experience was when I was having an mmf with two guys recently. We'd been unable to get a private room so went in a public room! I'd played with the guys - who were good friends - once before so I was fairly relaxed!
We had a bit of a (male) audience so one of them was struggling (understandably) to stand to attention - so I just kissed him, assured him it was fine, and he moved behind me to watch us. A little later I heard a condom packet tear and felt myself being taken from behind. Good stuff, I thought, watching has turned him on - as it sometimes does!
I turned to smile at him and saw him behind and to the right of me!
The look of horror on my face said it all when I realised it was one of the watching guys who'd just 'taken over'!
Why didn't your friend stop him? Or did he invite him to do it? . What did you do anyway?
First time I'd played with him in public and had only seen them once before (they were good friends with each other - not with me) - guessing they thought that, as I was at a greedy girls, that I must be greedy and probably wouldn't mind!
In the same circumstances I'm guessing some ladies wouldn't have minded at all! Obviously I won't be playing in public rooms at similar events from now on! I'll just go without next time if the private rooms are full!! X
Did you let the guy continue to completion? If you are at a GG event it is probably asking too much to have every guy interrupt your activity to seek permission; isn't it?.
I don't go to clubs so we have GG days at home. Every guy there is vetted and can fuck me; makes it easy.
I had a thought though for you; maybe you could hand out tickets? Put up a sign. "No ticket = no fuck. Tickets are not transferable" "
As I think I said - I'm not greedy! This is where the problem lies! I go to such events locally at times because they tend to be well attended - ergo more choice of males for me!
I never play with people I haven't chatted to for a while at the bar and invited to play with me!
No - I didn't let him 'complete' - I was horrified!
I didn't kick up a stink because I'm aware that some girls go for multiple partners and don't pre-select as I do! His misunderstanding - by upset!
Like I said - I won't play in a public room at a greedy girls again!
Mmf with guys I've previously chatted to is generally as far as I go! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If someone did it to nik in a intimate place .I'd class that as a sexual assault and his night would end right there with one hit. I am not a possessive type of guy and enjoy her interacting but that is beyond acceptable. I'd probably even follow it up with a call to the police
You would call the police from the sex club and get 8 police round to take statements from all witnesses ? For a brush to the bottom ?
Where did I say a brush on the bottom????
If someone sexually grabbed her.sticking fingers in her cunt etc as we walked past.first I would punch the fucker.
then report it.the man will not want the publicity so he ain't going to press charges.
Someone grabbed her tits whilst we were playing in libs alone on a bed.I stopped looked at him and he stood up.I stood up and put my finger in his nose hole and told him to trot on quick sharp.he did luckily.
I am happy for nik to fuck other guys but people who take the piss deserve a little chatting to. "
You sound quite violent and dangerous.
I wouldn't want to be in the same club as you. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"My worst experience was when I was having an mmf with two guys recently. We'd been unable to get a private room so went in a public room! I'd played with the guys - who were good friends - once before so I was fairly relaxed!
We had a bit of a (male) audience so one of them was struggling (understandably) to stand to attention - so I just kissed him, assured him it was fine, and he moved behind me to watch us. A little later I heard a condom packet tear and felt myself being taken from behind. Good stuff, I thought, watching has turned him on - as it sometimes does!
I turned to smile at him and saw him behind and to the right of me!
The look of horror on my face said it all when I realised it was one of the watching guys who'd just 'taken over'!
Why didn't your friend stop him? Or did he invite him to do it? . What did you do anyway?
First time I'd played with him in public and had only seen them once before (they were good friends with each other - not with me) - guessing they thought that, as I was at a greedy girls, that I must be greedy and probably wouldn't mind!
In the same circumstances I'm guessing some ladies wouldn't have minded at all! Obviously I won't be playing in public rooms at similar events from now on! I'll just go without next time if the private rooms are full!! X"
Which now that guy has ruined it for others where you maybe would let others watch now you won't / don't
|
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"If someone did it to nik in a intimate place .I'd class that as a sexual assault and his night would end right there with one hit. I am not a possessive type of guy and enjoy her interacting but that is beyond acceptable. I'd probably even follow it up with a call to the police
You would call the police from the sex club and get 8 police round to take statements from all witnesses ? For a brush to the bottom ?
Where did I say a brush on the bottom????
If someone sexually grabbed her.sticking fingers in her cunt etc as we walked past.first I would punch the fucker.
then report it.the man will not want the publicity so he ain't going to press charges.
Someone grabbed her tits whilst we were playing in libs alone on a bed.I stopped looked at him and he stood up.I stood up and put my finger in his nose hole and told him to trot on quick sharp.he did luckily.
I am happy for nik to fuck other guys but people who take the piss deserve a little chatting to.
You sound quite violent and dangerous.
I wouldn't want to be in the same club as you."
Oi! Be nice.
There're better ways to talk to a married man lol. |
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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago
Cheshire |
"My worst experience was when I was having an mmf with two guys recently. We'd been unable to get a private room so went in a public room! I'd played with the guys - who were good friends - once before so I was fairly relaxed!
We had a bit of a (male) audience so one of them was struggling (understandably) to stand to attention - so I just kissed him, assured him it was fine, and he moved behind me to watch us. A little later I heard a condom packet tear and felt myself being taken from behind. Good stuff, I thought, watching has turned him on - as it sometimes does!
I turned to smile at him and saw him behind and to the right of me!
The look of horror on my face said it all when I realised it was one of the watching guys who'd just 'taken over'!
Why didn't your friend stop him? Or did he invite him to do it? . What did you do anyway?
First time I'd played with him in public and had only seen them once before (they were good friends with each other - not with me) - guessing they thought that, as I was at a greedy girls, that I must be greedy and probably wouldn't mind!
In the same circumstances I'm guessing some ladies wouldn't have minded at all! Obviously I won't be playing in public rooms at similar events from now on! I'll just go without next time if the private rooms are full!! X
Did you let the guy continue to completion? If you are at a GG event it is probably asking too much to have every guy interrupt your activity to seek permission; isn't it?.
I don't go to clubs so we have GG days at home. Every guy there is vetted and can fuck me; makes it easy.
I had a thought though for you; maybe you could hand out tickets? Put up a sign. "No ticket = no fuck. Tickets are not transferable"
As I think I said - I'm not greedy! This is where the problem lies! I go to such events locally at times because they tend to be well attended - ergo more choice of males for me!
I never play with people I haven't chatted to for a while at the bar and invited to play with me!
No - I didn't let him 'complete' - I was horrified!
I didn't kick up a stink because I'm aware that some girls go for multiple partners and don't pre-select as I do! His misunderstanding - by upset!
Like I said - I won't play in a public room at a greedy girls again!
Mmf with guys I've previously chatted to is generally as far as I go! "
Doesn't matter if you don't like gang bangs. Some greedy girls just like man after man, 1 on 1 but session after session. I'm horrified for you reading that post. Totally inexcusable of the newbie and I'd be fuming with the two guys that you were playing with too. I'd expect them to take some responsibility in keeping you safe or at least checking with you. Even playing in an open room, doesn't mean anyone can walk up and insert their cock inside you. What's wrong with people!
Any form of touching is horrible. I hate it. I've had my leg or knee or tits touched in the jacuzzi, I've had on two occasions, men walk past me and manage to insert fingers inside me as I was walking out of the dungeon in a haze half undress or walking upstairs.
It needs to be drummed in to everyone that you check before you touch. I find it crazy that that guy managed to get his cock inside you without so much as a gesture to gauge your interest or checking in with the males already playing with you. |
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I will not tolerate guys touching ocd without asking, and have stepped in many times to advise guys who haven't that they need to ask.
I just think it bad manners to assume she is there for their pleasure, she isn't, she is there for her own pleasure |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"I don't mind when women touch me without asking...they don't do it enough though haha "
See I do and I normally make a cheeky comment in tut tut you haven't asked but I Indicate I would have said yes anyway |
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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago
Cheshire |
"I don't mind when women touch me without asking...they don't do it enough though haha "
I know a good few males that would not be comfortable or happy with being touched without asking. |
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Am I just weird finding asking about touching a knee in swinger club awkward?
I imagine situation like was OP saying: jacuzzi, banter, bit of flirtation and then question "may I ask your knee?"
I personally find it awkward and that would put me off.
Next would be "may I touch you above you knee?"
Guys being pushy piss me off, no question about it, but for me - that (situation which OP describes) is different. That is part of the flirtation part of the play, and asking would be disturbing it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will not tolerate guys touching ocd without asking, and have stepped in many times to advise guys who haven't that they need to ask.
I just think it bad manners to assume she is there for their pleasure, she isn't, she is there for her own pleasure"
I am confused. I understand it is good manners to ask but why would asking prove they are there for her pleasure and not asking that they are there for their own? |
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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago
Cheshire |
"Am I just weird finding asking about touching a knee in swinger club awkward?
I imagine situation like was OP saying: jacuzzi, banter, bit of flirtation and then question "may I ask your knee?"
I personally find it awkward and that would put me off.
Next would be "may I touch you above you knee?"
Guys being pushy piss me off, no question about it, but for me - that (situation which OP describes) is different. That is part of the flirtation part of the play, and asking would be disturbing it"
I would expect a... Would you like to play? Or would you like to move out the jacuzzi and ..... Whatever.
I don't want random men touching any part of me. I don't like unsolicited hugs, kisses, knee touches from men I don't know. Men I do know, wouldn't invade my personal space and touch my knees. |
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By *ntnCleoCouple
over a year ago
Dortmund (Germany) might travel! |
We had a rotten experience in Catania, Sicily at a swingers club. Cleo got groped ever all times - including crotch grabbing as she passed. But it was the male half of couples who were the culprits. The single guys were largely respectful.
Did partly ruin the experience for us; it was otherwise a fantastic club.
The other side of it is, I don't really want to hit someone, particularly in that environment. It would ruin the atmosphere for everyone who heard/saw. But it does need rapid dealing with by security, and that doesn't always happen. Or you just leave and don't go back.
Unwanted and inappropriate touching is assault though, whether it be in a sex club or anywhere else. |
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By *ntnCleoCouple
over a year ago
Dortmund (Germany) might travel! |
Having said the above - worth noting that we are spoilt in Germany. The clubs are immaculate and behavior faultless - we haven't had one bad experience here.
You guys all need to come over! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If someone did it to nik in a intimate place .I'd class that as a sexual assault and his night would end right there with one hit. I am not a possessive type of guy and enjoy her interacting but that is beyond acceptable. I'd probably even follow it up with a call to the police
You would call the police from the sex club and get 8 police round to take statements from all witnesses ? For a brush to the bottom ?
Where did I say a brush on the bottom????
If someone sexually grabbed her.sticking fingers in her cunt etc as we walked past.first I would punch the fucker.
then report it.the man will not want the publicity so he ain't going to press charges.
Someone grabbed her tits whilst we were playing in libs alone on a bed.I stopped looked at him and he stood up.I stood up and put my finger in his nose hole and told him to trot on quick sharp.he did luckily.
I am happy for nik to fuck other guys but people who take the piss deserve a little chatting to.
You sound quite violent and dangerous.
I wouldn't want to be in the same club as you."
i am no different than the majority of men.
sexually assault my wife and i will return the favour,nothing violent or nasty about that
its simple,do not touch anyone in a way that you may even think people will not like. that way i will not be touching them.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We were playing in a club a few years back and a guy was sitting on the bed next to us watching.
Suddenly and without any warning he leaned over and starting sucking on my cock!!
I was absolutely astonished. My wife saw the look of horror and surprise on my face and collapsed into giggles. My erection vanished in an instant.
Anyway he flounced out of the room with an expression on his face that clearly suggested he was the one who had been insulted.
My wife was just amazed I hadn't punched him. I think I was to surprised to even think of it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i am no different than the majority of men.
sexually assault my wife and i will return the favour,nothing violent or nasty about that
its simple,do not touch anyone in a way that you may even think people will not like. that way i will not be touching them.
"
Thankfully, most men are *not* like you - they don't have to resort to resolving problems with their fists.
There is everything violent about punching someone because they do something wrong.
There is everything sinister about punching someone because you know they won't press charges due to being in a swingers club.
I hope that if you ever punch someone in a swingers club that it's someone like me - who doesn't have anything to lose in the public eye by taking you to court. Hopefully you'd lose everything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I still find it shocking that people grab/grope/probe without permission still. I've had women grab me in clubs and have them genuinely seem surprised when I've told them to get off. Reading through this thread there's a breed of single bloke in these clubs that needs to have a word with themselves! |
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"I hate being touched without being asked, it's a real thing with me and I find it happens way too often. I was in the hot tub today at Kestrels chatting and having banter with a guy (as well as my friends), things were going great but then the hand on the knee happened. Not just a brush but a stroke then he left it there.
Very rude in my book I would always
ask first
To be fair it wasn't in an intimate area as some guys have done in the past but still got told don't touch without asking. I guess if I was on my back legs akimbo in an open room with plenty of guys already then it may indicate I'm up for it and possibly no need to ask but I was chilling and chatting with friends.
One (male) friend thinks it's a way of asking but to me it's an assumption that I want touching and I find it rude and disrespectful. Do any of your ladies mind being touched without being asked? Are there any places you feel it's ok to touch without asking? What's your boundary?"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i am no different than the majority of men.
sexually assault my wife and i will return the favour,nothing violent or nasty about that
its simple,do not touch anyone in a way that you may even think people will not like. that way i will not be touching them.
Thankfully, most men are *not* like you - they don't have to resort to resolving problems with their fists.
There is everything violent about punching someone because they do something wrong.
There is everything sinister about punching someone because you know they won't press charges due to being in a swingers club.
I hope that if you ever punch someone in a swingers club that it's someone like me - who doesn't have anything to lose in the public eye by taking you to court. Hopefully you'd lose everything."
I believe you are both right and wrong about your belief in "most" men.
Most will not actually punch a guy for sexually assaulting their partner. Most however would perfectly happily do it but for the fear of the legal consequences.
Equally they would likely be far from sympathetic towards the person getting thumped.
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"We were playing in a club a few years back and a guy was sitting on the bed next to us watching.
Suddenly and without any warning he leaned over and starting sucking on my cock!!
I was absolutely astonished. My wife saw the look of horror and surprise on my face and collapsed into giggles. My erection vanished in an instant.
Anyway he flounced out of the room with an expression on his face that clearly suggested he was the one who had been insulted.
My wife was just amazed I hadn't punched him. I think I was to surprised to even think of it.
"
I would be fuming if this was me
I would definatley have a word with security over that there was times early on when I started swinging guys touched me and my hand swiftley moved them away |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i am no different than the majority of men.
sexually assault my wife and i will return the favour,nothing violent or nasty about that
its simple,do not touch anyone in a way that you may even think people will not like. that way i will not be touching them.
Thankfully, most men are *not* like you - they don't have to resort to resolving problems with their fists.
There is everything violent about punching someone because they do something wrong.
There is everything sinister about punching someone because you know they won't press charges due to being in a swingers club.
I hope that if you ever punch someone in a swingers club that it's someone like me - who doesn't have anything to lose in the public eye by taking you to court. Hopefully you'd lose everything."
hahahaha
sexually assault my mrs and i wont be losing fuck all sweet cheeks |
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By *wcwCouple
over a year ago
cheshire |
No. Shud not be touched without asking. If it happened to Mrs. I would say summit. , its respect no matter where you are , we go to clubs. But that has never happened. , probe cuz I was there , but guys shud never take advantage of women on there own , |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i am no different than the majority of men.
sexually assault my wife and i will return the favour,nothing violent or nasty about that
its simple,do not touch anyone in a way that you may even think people will not like. that way i will not be touching them.
Thankfully, most men are *not* like you - they don't have to resort to resolving problems with their fists.
There is everything violent about punching someone because they do something wrong.
There is everything sinister about punching someone because you know they won't press charges due to being in a swingers club.
I hope that if you ever punch someone in a swingers club that it's someone like me - who doesn't have anything to lose in the public eye by taking you to court. Hopefully you'd lose everything.
hahahaha
sexually assault my mrs and i wont be losing fuck all sweet cheeks "
Your macho posturing and ownership of "your" partner is something that contributes to a culture that says women are property and are therefore available to be touched. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This is a guy thing so I wouldnt expect you to understand.
However any man who oversteps the boundaries in regard to another mans wife, girlfriend or children knows he can expect consequences.
That is the way it is.
Along with the vast majority of guys I know where my sympathies lie. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
And incidentally this is nothing to do with ownership. My wife would be appalled if I stood by and let another guy assault either her or our family.
At the very least she would rightly expect me to physically intervene and pull the guy away.
What happens after that would depend entirely on the other guy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My worst experience was when I was having an mmf with two guys recently. We'd been unable to get a private room so went in a public room! I'd played with the guys - who were good friends - once before so I was fairly relaxed!
We had a bit of a (male) audience so one of them was struggling (understandably) to stand to attention - so I just kissed him, assured him it was fine, and he moved behind me to watch us. A little later I heard a condom packet tear and felt myself being taken from behind. Good stuff, I thought, watching has turned him on - as it sometimes does!
I turned to smile at him and saw him behind and to the right of me!
The look of horror on my face said it all when I realised it was one of the watching guys who'd just 'taken over'!
Why didn't your friend stop him? Or did he invite him to do it? . What did you do anyway?
First time I'd played with him in public and had only seen them once before (they were good friends with each other - not with me) - guessing they thought that, as I was at a greedy girls, that I must be greedy and probably wouldn't mind!
In the same circumstances I'm guessing some ladies wouldn't have minded at all! Obviously I won't be playing in public rooms at similar events from now on! I'll just go without next time if the private rooms are full!! X
Did you let the guy continue to completion? If you are at a GG event it is probably asking too much to have every guy interrupt your activity to seek permission; isn't it?.
I don't go to clubs so we have GG days at home. Every guy there is vetted and can fuck me; makes it easy.
I had a thought though for you; maybe you could hand out tickets? Put up a sign. "No ticket = no fuck. Tickets are not transferable"
As I think I said - I'm not greedy! This is where the problem lies! I go to such events locally at times because they tend to be well attended - ergo more choice of males for me!
I never play with people I haven't chatted to for a while at the bar and invited to play with me!
No - I didn't let him 'complete' - I was horrified!
I didn't kick up a stink because I'm aware that some girls go for multiple partners and don't pre-select as I do! His misunderstanding - by upset!
Like I said - I won't play in a public room at a greedy girls again!
Mmf with guys I've previously chatted to is generally as far as I go!
Doesn't matter if you don't like gang bangs. Some greedy girls just like man after man, 1 on 1 but session after session. I'm horrified for you reading that post. Totally inexcusable of the newbie and I'd be fuming with the two guys that you were playing with too. I'd expect them to take some responsibility in keeping you safe or at least checking with you. Even playing in an open room, doesn't mean anyone can walk up and insert their cock inside you. What's wrong with people!
Any form of touching is horrible. I hate it. I've had my leg or knee or tits touched in the jacuzzi, I've had on two occasions, men walk past me and manage to insert fingers inside me as I was walking out of the dungeon in a haze half undress or walking upstairs.
It needs to be drummed in to everyone that you check before you touch. I find it crazy that that guy managed to get his cock inside you without so much as a gesture to gauge your interest or checking in with the males already playing with you. "
Well it's never happened before and hopefully it'll never happen again Hun! And yes - I was pretty cross with the guys I was with - but they were pretty new to the scene too!
I think that can be part of the issue - getting through to inexperienced swingers that swingers clubs are not some kind of free brothel where everyone is on offer - particularly at 'greedy' events! Xx |
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By *ntnCleoCouple
over a year ago
Dortmund (Germany) might travel! |
There is usually a physical mismatch that cannot be ignored and does play in whether you like it or not, preventing the egalitarian utopia. A man assaulting a woman is more threatening as there is a potential physical risk that the woman might not be able to counter. If a woman assaults a man, it is equally offensive and wrong, but doesn't usually carry the same degree of risk.
Cleo is 5'2" and I'm 6'2". Some situations will pose her more physical risk than me.
But I agree that punching someone is probably not the way to handle it, even though it is in response to an assault. Of course there could be exceptions, fortunately they are rare.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've never been touched without being asked first, but if I was then I'd politely say no (regardless of where) as I wouldn't want the wrong signal being given off.
What I have had happen and think is rude, is being grabbed and pulled over to the person to ask if I want to play. There is no need to grab someone, can easily ask someone without grabbing them. |
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On our second visit to a club we met up with a couple we were interested in. The four of us entered the jacuzzi and were soon kissing and touching each other. A few guys got in and I quickly felt more hands than there should have been between my legs.
I looked at C, he knew immediately I was unhappy and he suggested the four of us go upstairs to a room. The single guys followed and he firmly closed and locked the door in their face.
That's the only hassle we've had. I don't mind if someone touches my arm or puts their hand on my lower back while chatting to gauge interest, that's fine. Anything else is not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do people actually do that!!!! Hot tub or sex club you should never forget your manners x"
Yes they do sadly.
On one of our first visits to a club I made the mistake of leaving my wife along in the sauna whilst I went to the loo.
A very fat older man saw her on her own and blocked the doorway for her to get out. He refused to move when she asked.
Luckily I returned just as he was reaching for her. The guy saw me and instantly backed off.
Some guys just completely lose their heads when sex is involved and just cannot understand the word no.
Incidentally when I mentioned it to some others at the bar (including the guys wife) they just laughed. The owners knew all about this guys doing this sort of thing but apparently he was an old friend! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have had to say no then was asked why ! Then was asked can I change my mind !! I said no again but it wasn't taken kindly . He left very quicky when the gentleman I went with returned from the toilet , it did make me feel very vulnerable and now I make sure that I am not left alone . X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do people actually do that!!!! Hot tub or sex club you should never forget your manners x
Yes they do sadly.
On one of our first visits to a club I made the mistake of leaving my wife along in the sauna whilst I went to the loo.
A very fat older man saw her on her own and blocked the doorway for her to get out. He refused to move when she asked.
Luckily I returned just as he was reaching for her. The guy saw me and instantly backed off.
Some guys just completely lose their heads when sex is involved and just cannot understand the word no.
Incidentally when I mentioned it to some others at the bar (including the guys wife) they just laughed. The owners knew all about this guys doing this sort of thing but apparently he was an old friend! "
I heard a very similar situation at a party apparently the couple who hosted the party had the impression that it's their right to play with whoever they wanted to as it was their party.
It certainly doesn't fill you with confidence when the owners/staff don't do anything about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a big turn of to have people touch you without asking.. had one bloke follow me around partners and touch me I said no several times in the end ended up shouting it he at last scarpered |
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"i am no different than the majority of men.
sexually assault my wife and i will return the favour,nothing violent or nasty about that
its simple,do not touch anyone in a way that you may even think people will not like. that way i will not be touching them.
Thankfully, most men are *not* like you - they don't have to resort to resolving problems with their fists.
There is everything violent about punching someone because they do something wrong.
There is everything sinister about punching someone because you know they won't press charges due to being in a swingers club.
I hope that if you ever punch someone in a swingers club that it's someone like me - who doesn't have anything to lose in the public eye by taking you to court. Hopefully you'd lose everything.
hahahaha
sexually assault my mrs and i wont be losing fuck all sweet cheeks
Your macho posturing and ownership of "your" partner is something that contributes to a culture that says women are property and are therefore available to be touched."
May I ask how you would deal with a sexual assault against one of your partners? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My worst experience was when I was having an mmf with two guys recently. We'd been unable to get a private room so went in a public room! I'd played with the guys - who were good friends - once before so I was fairly relaxed!
We had a bit of a (male) audience so one of them was struggling (understandably) to stand to attention - so I just kissed him, assured him it was fine, and he moved behind me to watch us. A little later I heard a condom packet tear and felt myself being taken from behind. Good stuff, I thought, watching has turned him on - as it sometimes does!
I turned to smile at him and saw him behind and to the right of me!
The look of horror on my face said it all when I realised it was one of the watching guys who'd just 'taken over'!
Why didn't your friend stop him? Or did he invite him to do it? . What did you do anyway?
First time I'd played with him in public and had only seen them once before (they were good friends with each other - not with me) - guessing they thought that, as I was at a greedy girls, that I must be greedy and probably wouldn't mind!
In the same circumstances I'm guessing some ladies wouldn't have minded at all! Obviously I won't be playing in public rooms at similar events from now on! I'll just go without next time if the private rooms are full!! X
Did you let the guy continue to completion? If you are at a GG event it is probably asking too much to have every guy interrupt your activity to seek permission; isn't it?.
I don't go to clubs so we have GG days at home. Every guy there is vetted and can fuck me; makes it easy.
I had a thought though for you; maybe you could hand out tickets? Put up a sign. "No ticket = no fuck. Tickets are not transferable"
As I think I said - I'm not greedy! This is where the problem lies! I go to such events locally at times because they tend to be well attended - ergo more choice of males for me!
I never play with people I haven't chatted to for a while at the bar and invited to play with me!
No - I didn't let him 'complete' - I was horrified!
I didn't kick up a stink because I'm aware that some girls go for multiple partners and don't pre-select as I do! His misunderstanding - by upset!
Like I said - I won't play in a public room at a greedy girls again!
Mmf with guys I've previously chatted to is generally as far as I go!
Doesn't matter if you don't like gang bangs. Some greedy girls just like man after man, 1 on 1 but session after session. I'm horrified for you reading that post. Totally inexcusable of the newbie and I'd be fuming with the two guys that you were playing with too. I'd expect them to take some responsibility in keeping you safe or at least checking with you. Even playing in an open room, doesn't mean anyone can walk up and insert their cock inside you. What's wrong with people!
Any form of touching is horrible. I hate it. I've had my leg or knee or tits touched in the jacuzzi, I've had on two occasions, men walk past me and manage to insert fingers inside me as I was walking out of the dungeon in a haze half undress or walking upstairs.
It needs to be drummed in to everyone that you check before you touch. I find it crazy that that guy managed to get his cock inside you without so much as a gesture to gauge your interest or checking in with the males already playing with you.
Well it's never happened before and hopefully it'll never happen again Hun! And yes - I was pretty cross with the guys I was with - but they were pretty new to the scene too!
I think that can be part of the issue - getting through to inexperienced swingers that swingers clubs are not some kind of free brothel where everyone is on offer - particularly at 'greedy' events! Xx"
There was a forum post from a greedy girls night organiser that used terms like 'anything goes', 'no holds barred' etc. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the night you were assaulted was organised by her.
Her thread insinuated that the men could fuck any woman they wanted. It's no wonder that some men that attend greedy girls nights have the wrong idea and just get stuck in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah I have encountered a few pests..especially in hot tubs who feel because we all strip off they have a licence to grope....guys..its not nice and don't touch us unless we ask!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do people actually do that!!!! Hot tub or sex club you should never forget your manners x
Yes they do sadly.
On one of our first visits to a club I made the mistake of leaving my wife along in the sauna whilst I went to the loo.
A very fat older man saw her on her own and blocked the doorway for her to get out. He refused to move when she asked.
Luckily I returned just as he was reaching for her. The guy saw me and instantly backed off.
Some guys just completely lose their heads when sex is involved and just cannot understand the word no.
Incidentally when I mentioned it to some others at the bar (including the guys wife) they just laughed. The owners knew all about this guys doing this sort of thing but apparently he was an old friend! "
Had similar at a club in mids, old guy in late 60s spoke to us at bar...lovelly wether etc etc , as soon as wife answered him saying " yeah makes a change to have nice wether " he rammed his hand up her skirt... we were both like wtf....reported and owners said he,s been reported lots that night..eventually threw him out... |
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"That's why we go on couples night there's more respect and anyone touching without asking would be chucked out naked by myself  "
Problem with couples nights is there is no "single + 1" membership...
Everyone complains about unicorns, I bring up sex clubs on a first date or within a few messages on tinder and unicorns just fall from the sky!!
But no fucking facilitation! |
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"Yeah I have encountered a few pests..especially in hot tubs who feel because we all strip off they have a licence to grope....guys..its not nice and don't touch us unless we ask!!!!"
I get weirded out by hut tubs... Hate the chemicals and I once heard one called a petri dish and now can't get it out of my head! |
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Yes, I'd say that the dark room is there for when you really do feel open to anything. Would be a bit comical if all you could hear in the dark was 'Excuse me, but would the lady whos leg I'm currently feeling mind if I moved my hand a little further?' from several different voices.
Got to be in the right headspace to make the dark room a positive experience though. Doesn't always happen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hate being touched without being asked as anyone who was in Amour last Thursday will have heard!! 1 stroke of my ass was ignored but when it happened a second time I lost the plot as what would he have done in an open play area? Just taken it on himself to join in? Needless to say management were called and he was dealt with straight away"
I'm not suggesting he was in the right or you were in the wrong in any way, but he stroked your ass and you didn't do anything? Perhaps because you hadn't said no (or whatever clear signal you give in that situation) he thought it was ok to touch again? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's why we go on couples night there's more respect and anyone touching without asking would be chucked out naked by myself
Problem with couples nights is there is no "single + 1" membership...
Everyone complains about unicorns, I bring up sex clubs on a first date or within a few messages on tinder and unicorns just fall from the sky!!
But no fucking facilitation!"
best way is to find a lady friend who likes the same thing and get a couples membership because some of the "couples" we've seen certainly are not real couples in some cases just fwb"s |
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Part 3
The revenge
This time it's personal!
I have a natural reaction to someone making a friend of mine feel uncomfortable by touching them...
I have no problem getting super inappropriate... And touching said offender inappropriately.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes, I'd say that the dark room is there for when you really do feel open to anything. Would be a bit comical if all you could hear in the dark was 'Excuse me, but would the lady whos leg I'm currently feeling mind if I moved my hand a little further?' from several different voices.
Got to be in the right headspace to make the dark room a positive experience though. Doesn't always happen"
I wouldn't fancy a dark room could end getting tossed off by a bi guy! |
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"That's why we go on couples night there's more respect and anyone touching without asking would be chucked out naked by myself
Problem with couples nights is there is no "single + 1" membership...
Everyone complains about unicorns, I bring up sex clubs on a first date or within a few messages on tinder and unicorns just fall from the sky!!
But no fucking facilitation! best way is to find a lady friend who likes the same thing and get a couples membership because some of the "couples" we've seen certainly are not real couples in some cases just fwb"s"
I have done this on several occasions, but mainly because I didn't want to embarrass them by saying "we are just friends"... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's why we go on couples night there's more respect and anyone touching without asking would be chucked out naked by myself
Problem with couples nights is there is no "single + 1" membership...
Everyone complains about unicorns, I bring up sex clubs on a first date or within a few messages on tinder and unicorns just fall from the sky!!
But no fucking facilitation! best way is to find a lady friend who likes the same thing and get a couples membership because some of the "couples" we've seen certainly are not real couples in some cases just fwb"s
I have done this on several occasions, but mainly because I didn't want to embarrass them by saying "we are just friends"..."
I think it's quite common in most clubs tbh long as you both get what you both want who cares |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I once had this happen to me at AbFabs. I was in one of the jacuzzis with a couple (the girl much younger in her 20s and the man looking about 60 somthing years - so my take not a genuine couple), we started to share a few words about the evening. I was pretty calm and relaxed and not at all hard, then all of a suddenly i feel a hand on my BBC which was the girl. At first I was slightly surprised but thought how cool it was to have a lady grope a man like me (plus they were oviously not a loving couple so that I didn't mind otherwise i would've said a polite NO). Anyway I then welcomed her to feel me up once I was hard within seconds and the rest was history (basically i felt her, gave her a massage and we all headed into a cabin once one was free after a long wait).
But yes I agree that common etiquette must be establish among all the members of the community and any continued unwanted touching should be classed as sexual assault. (Instant removal from the club for the offender I say) |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
Ok I have thought a lot about this thread and I am actually think the guy didn't do that much wrong and let me explain
He is naked in jacuzzi and there was flirty banter occurring, he didn't touch the secretly sexually and he only out his hand on Secreets knee
The only thing wrong which he didn't know was that wasnt ok to touch secrets knee which it clearly wasn't but as signals there could be a suggestions that he thought that it was ok.
A suggestion would be that he maybe should have just brushed secrets leg and see what the outcome was. That would have given secrets either to stop the banter or sugest that a full in touch wAsnt appreciated
Now for me this is a grey area. I think we are all aware what is completely unacceptable and peaches experience is a prime example but there is a grey area that might not be acceltable for one person and may be ok for others.
The unacceptable incedents should clearly be stopped and the require both education, and also reporting them to the club. This is the key one, if a single man is out of order then other single men should say something as well.
|
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"I once had this happen to me at AbFabs. I was in one of the jacuzzis with a couple (the girl much younger in her 20s and the man looking about 60 somthing years - so my take not a genuine couple), we started to share a few words about the evening. I was pretty calm and relaxed and not at all hard, then all of a suddenly i feel a hand on my BBC which was the girl. At first I was slightly surprised but thought how cool it was to have a lady grope a man like me (plus they were oviously not a loving couple so that I didn't mind otherwise i would've said a polite NO). Anyway I then welcomed her to feel me up once I was hard within seconds and the rest was history (basically i felt her, gave her a massage and we all headed into a cabin once one was free after a long wait).
But yes I agree that common etiquette must be establish among all the members of the community and any continued unwanted touching should be classed as sexual assault. (Instant removal from the club for the offender I say)"
Yep you rarly hear about this, but it reminds me of being in the Philippines...
I was 23 in Manila, Makati City... LA Cafe...
There must of been at least 100 women to one man and no word of a lie, it's fucking scary!!
I always remember running the gauntlet to the restroom....
Hands darting out of the night, touching every part they could get hold of... You can't believe the atmosphere...
Sounds great to guys I tell in the pub, but thousands of hyper sexually aggressive females, all in one place is fucking insane! |
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"That's why we go on couples night there's more respect and anyone touching without asking would be chucked out naked by myself
Problem with couples nights is there is no "single + 1" membership...
Everyone complains about unicorns, I bring up sex clubs on a first date or within a few messages on tinder and unicorns just fall from the sky!!
But no fucking facilitation! best way is to find a lady friend who likes the same thing and get a couples membership because some of the "couples" we've seen certainly are not real couples in some cases just fwb"s
I have done this on several occasions, but mainly because I didn't want to embarrass them by saying "we are just friends"... I think it's quite common in most clubs tbh long as you both get what you both want who cares "
Probs is they don't want to be seen as vulnerable and I end up with cards with different woman's names on and some just want to look and some want their own card after... & some places don't like you turning up with someone other than your "partner"...
What's wrong with single + 1 of the opposite sex? |
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By *ntnCleoCouple
over a year ago
Dortmund (Germany) might travel! |
I think a lot of the clubs that provide wrist bands have the right idea. You wear a certain colour which dictates to others what you are and are not there for. However, whatever the sex of a person it should be the norm no matter what the situation, that permission is sought first. I have had unwanted touching (im the fem half) and it made me feel like a piece of meat. Now some guys or girls may think 'you're in a sex club what do you expect' but I'm with my Husband. We are a loving, intimate couple looking to explore. That doesn't mean either of us are up for it with just anyone, nor does it give an invitation to grab my breasts or his cock. If you can't be respectful there's no way you are going to be invited to join us on our intimate journey!! It's not rocket science. It's common decency. If I was fully dressed in the supermarket, I wouldn't expect my breasts to be groped. If I am walking around a club with my Husband wearing nothing, I don't expect to be groped.
We had an experience at Hedo where a Guy wouldn't leave me alone. Made me feel really uncomfortable and we had both told him politely to leave us. As soon as Ant had his back turned he was there. He didn't even touch he just came across as very threatening. The staff cottoned on to this and he was removed. I remember he said that if men being their wives to places like that then they should pass them around for everyone to enjoy. Yeah right... Dream on!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I once had this happen to me at AbFabs. I was in one of the jacuzzis with a couple (the girl much younger in her 20s and the man looking about 60 somthing years - so my take not a genuine couple), we started to share a few words about the evening. I was pretty calm and relaxed and not at all hard, then all of a suddenly i feel a hand on my BBC which was the girl. At first I was slightly surprised but thought how cool it was to have a lady grope a man like me (plus they were oviously not a loving couple so that I didn't mind otherwise i would've said a polite NO). Anyway I then welcomed her to feel me up once I was hard within seconds and the rest was history (basically i felt her, gave her a massage and we all headed into a cabin once one was free after a long wait).
But yes I agree that common etiquette must be establish among all the members of the community and any continued unwanted touching should be classed as sexual assault. (Instant removal from the club for the offender I say)
Yep you rarly hear about this, but it reminds me of being in the Philippines...
I was 23 in Manila, Makati City... LA Cafe...
There must of been at least 100 women to one man and no word of a lie, it's fucking scary!!
I always remember running the gauntlet to the restroom....
Hands darting out of the night, touching every part they could get hold of... You can't believe the atmosphere...
Sounds great to guys I tell in the pub, but thousands of hyper sexually aggressive females, all in one place is fucking insane!"
Sounds like they were desperate for "business" knowing what goes on in South Asian countries. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think a lot of the clubs that provide wrist bands have the right idea. You wear a certain colour which dictates to others what you are and are not there for. However, whatever the sex of a person it should be the norm no matter what the situation, that permission is sought first. I have had unwanted touching (im the fem half) and it made me feel like a piece of meat. Now some guys or girls may think 'you're in a sex club what do you expect' but I'm with my Husband. We are a loving, intimate couple looking to explore. That doesn't mean either of us are up for it with just anyone, nor does it give an invitation to grab my breasts or his cock. If you can't be respectful there's no way you are going to be invited to join us on our intimate journey!! It's not rocket science. It's common decency. If I was fully dressed in the supermarket, I wouldn't expect my breasts to be groped. If I am walking around a club with my Husband wearing nothing, I don't expect to be groped.
We had an experience at Hedo where a Guy wouldn't leave me alone. Made me feel really uncomfortable and we had both told him politely to leave us. As soon as Ant had his back turned he was there. He didn't even touch he just came across as very threatening. The staff cottoned on to this and he was removed. I remember he said that if men being their wives to places like that then they should pass them around for everyone to enjoy. Yeah right... Dream on!!!"
Yeah i really love the coloured bands idea too, it gives a clear message to others what your there for and anyone who still tries it on with forceful touching will get the boot out of the place |
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By *ntnCleoCouple
over a year ago
Dortmund (Germany) might travel! |
"I think a lot of the clubs that provide wrist bands have the right idea. You wear a certain colour which dictates to others what you are and are not there for. However, whatever the sex of a person it should be the norm no matter what the situation, that permission is sought first. I have had unwanted touching (im the fem half) and it made me feel like a piece of meat. Now some guys or girls may think 'you're in a sex club what do you expect' but I'm with my Husband. We are a loving, intimate couple looking to explore. That doesn't mean either of us are up for it with just anyone, nor does it give an invitation to grab my breasts or his cock. If you can't be respectful there's no way you are going to be invited to join us on our intimate journey!! It's not rocket science. It's common decency. If I was fully dressed in the supermarket, I wouldn't expect my breasts to be groped. If I am walking around a club with my Husband wearing nothing, I don't expect to be groped.
We had an experience at Hedo where a Guy wouldn't leave me alone. Made me feel really uncomfortable and we had both told him politely to leave us. As soon as Ant had his back turned he was there. He didn't even touch he just came across as very threatening. The staff cottoned on to this and he was removed. I remember he said that if men being their wives to places like that then they should pass them around for everyone to enjoy. Yeah right... Dream on!!!
Yeah i really love the coloured bands idea too, it gives a clear message to others what your there for and anyone who still tries it on with forceful touching will get the boot out of the place "
Simple yet effective. It saves all the small talk!! German clubs are fantastic for their rules, respect, cleanliness, supplies of clean towels, condoms and lube everywhere! We haven't been to a club in UK to compare but I'm sure we will. |
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"I once had this happen to me at AbFabs. I was in one of the jacuzzis with a couple (the girl much younger in her 20s and the man looking about 60 somthing years - so my take not a genuine couple), we started to share a few words about the evening. I was pretty calm and relaxed and not at all hard, then all of a suddenly i feel a hand on my BBC which was the girl. At first I was slightly surprised but thought how cool it was to have a lady grope a man like me (plus they were oviously not a loving couple so that I didn't mind otherwise i would've said a polite NO). Anyway I then welcomed her to feel me up once I was hard within seconds and the rest was history (basically i felt her, gave her a massage and we all headed into a cabin once one was free after a long wait).
But yes I agree that common etiquette must be establish among all the members of the community and any continued unwanted touching should be classed as sexual assault. (Instant removal from the club for the offender I say)
Yep you rarly hear about this, but it reminds me of being in the Philippines...
I was 23 in Manila, Makati City... LA Cafe...
There must of been at least 100 women to one man and no word of a lie, it's fucking scary!!
I always remember running the gauntlet to the restroom....
Hands darting out of the night, touching every part they could get hold of... You can't believe the atmosphere...
Sounds great to guys I tell in the pub, but thousands of hyper sexually aggressive females, all in one place is fucking insane!
Sounds like they were desperate for "business" knowing what goes on in South Asian countries. "
It's how it is over there, it's a mixture of business, bagging a westerner and once it becomes the social norm, your the weirdo.... but makai is the most relentless....
It cannot be described.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I Jez hate when guys touch my wife without asking her. It's plain disrespectful. We have been very lucky as it's only happened a couple of times. Now for a weird experience we had. We were in Chams about 6 months ago and we were in the cinema and a couple about half our age came and sat next to us. The young lady was very attractive and she sat next to me and her leg was touching mine. For some reason I felt very uncomfortable as I didn't want her thinking I was going to make a move. |
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By *ill74Man
over a year ago
New forest area |
I've been to a sex club twice. To be honest, I felt pretty nervous. I am a bit shy at first and can't just go and start a conversation straight away.
I slid onto a bed and laid down next to a lady, I didn't touch her, until she started stroking me. We were in an open area.
If I was there with a partner and someone groped her liked that, they would know about it. It is assault and it's not on. Full stop. |
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J and I go into the dark room at Xtasia and an Fabs specifically because we LIKE to be touched.
The skill is to 'manage' the touching. And I as the man take the responsibility to assess who might be doing the touching and steering away any that seems aggressive or too assertive or from someone not our type.
This takes a bit of confidence, full attention, experience and quick reactions. Generally J trusts my judgement here and can be wanton and enjoys the group hormones.
We've had fellas getting a bit grabby, but we deal with it and it's never been a problem. The vast majority respect a firm refusal. We've had lots of great experiences this way. And if it becomes a bit much we run for the light.
But these places are sex clubs - if everyone acts like scared wallflowers it's dull. |
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"I will not tolerate guys touching ocd without asking, and have stepped in many times to advise guys who haven't that they need to ask.
I just think it bad manners to assume she is there for their pleasure, she isn't, she is there for her own pleasure
I am confused. I understand it is good manners to ask but why would asking prove they are there for her pleasure and not asking that they are there for their own? "
I think you misread. Ocd is there for her own pleasure. She is there to enjoy herself. She is not there for anyone else's amusement. When we play we make sure everyone we play with has fun, but we choose who we play with.
By the same reasoning everyone else is there for their own pleasure. We do not expect people to play with us and do not consider single guys are there for our pleasure or that they have to prove anything.
All we ask for are good manners and a good laugh with lots of banter, you ain't going to get that if they can't talk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"J and I go into the dark room at Xtasia and an Fabs specifically because we LIKE to be touched.
The skill is to 'manage' the touching. And I as the man take the responsibility to assess who might be doing the touching and steering away any that seems aggressive or too assertive or from someone not our type.
This takes a bit of confidence, full attention, experience and quick reactions. Generally J trusts my judgement here and can be wanton and enjoys the group hormones.
We've had fellas getting a bit grabby, but we deal with it and it's never been a problem. The vast majority respect a firm refusal. We've had lots of great experiences this way. And if it becomes a bit much we run for the light.
But these places are sex clubs - if everyone acts like scared wallflowers it's dull. "
exactly the same here xx |
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"My worst experience was when I was having an mmf with two guys recently. We'd been unable to get a private room so went in a public room! I'd played with the guys - who were good friends - once before so I was fairly relaxed!
We had a bit of a (male) audience so one of them was struggling (understandably) to stand to attention - so I just kissed him, assured him it was fine, and he moved behind me to watch us. A little later I heard a condom packet tear and felt myself being taken from behind. Good stuff, I thought, watching has turned him on - as it sometimes does!
I turned to smile at him and saw him behind and to the right of me!
The look of horror on my face said it all when I realised it was one of the watching guys who'd just 'taken over'!
Why didn't your friend stop him? Or did he invite him to do it? . What did you do anyway?
First time I'd played with him in public and had only seen them once before (they were good friends with each other - not with me) - guessing they thought that, as I was at a greedy girls, that I must be greedy and probably wouldn't mind!
In the same circumstances I'm guessing some ladies wouldn't have minded at all! Obviously I won't be playing in public rooms at similar events from now on! I'll just go without next time if the private rooms are full!! X
Did you let the guy continue to completion? If you are at a GG event it is probably asking too much to have every guy interrupt your activity to seek permission; isn't it?.
I don't go to clubs so we have GG days at home. Every guy there is vetted and can fuck me; makes it easy.
I had a thought though for you; maybe you could hand out tickets? Put up a sign. "No ticket = no fuck. Tickets are not transferable"
As I think I said - I'm not greedy! This is where the problem lies! I go to such events locally at times because they tend to be well attended - ergo more choice of males for me!
I never play with people I haven't chatted to for a while at the bar and invited to play with me!
No - I didn't let him 'complete' - I was horrified!
I didn't kick up a stink because I'm aware that some girls go for multiple partners and don't pre-select as I do! His misunderstanding - by upset!
Like I said - I won't play in a public room at a greedy girls again!
Mmf with guys I've previously chatted to is generally as far as I go! "
I think you were very understanding and handled it very well. I agree he was out of order but as you say he was new.... I reckon you did the best thing possible. Shame it spoiled the scene for you though |
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