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Another one bites the dust.
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By *-and-K OP Couple
over a year ago
Back of Beyond |
After engaging in another couple of weeks chat with a single bloke, when it comes to making the commitment to meet he gets cold feet. For the last 3 weeks he's been gagging to meet us. Now we try and pin him down to meeting this coming weekend, he reads the message and then dissapears.
Not answering emails, pm's or texts.
We have the greatest respect for single blokes but why do they do this and then come and complain they can't get any meets? It just makes it harder for the genuine single guys. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not just guys who do it lol
Must admit tho,we get it too we were looking for a meet Saturday afternoon,invited 4 guys thinking the chances are 1 will turn up,was shocked when all 4 turned up... Happy days for me lol x |
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It's not just single guys who do it. I've lost count of the number of couples I've been chatting to who start off chatting away, eager as beavers  who then disappear off the face of the earth when it comes to setting a date.
Fantasists aren't limited to just one type of person |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Juicy knocked it on the head some come on here with ideas and dreams but in reality it comes to nothing so you will get timewasters not had one yet but when I do they'll get a piece of my mind |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not just single guys who do it. I've lost count of the number of couples I've been chatting to who start off chatting away, eager as beavers who then disappear off the face of the earth when it comes to setting a date.
Fantasists aren't limited to just one type of person"
Totaly agree there most are just keyboard heros ( well thats what my hubby calls um lol)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Totally agree some are here only for kicks and i bet are in a relationship thats why they dont meet!!!!!
Makes it so hard for genuine single bloke to get started!!!! |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"To the OP....who knows, he may be busy as to why he hasn't answered your contact.
Or he may just have changed his mind...."
That too, and hasn't decided how to answer.
Could also be waiting to figure out wether he can make it and not say anything until he is sure.
Of course none of those could be true either.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can be very frustrating, who knows maybe they are busy or maybe they just love the chase the reality of actually swinging with a couple is just too much for him. dont dispair though, im sure some very lucky single guy out there will be finding their way to you soon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But not telling the OP he's busy or not interested when he's arranged the meet is bad manners doesn't take long to text or message to say it's cancelled but that's my take on it I just don't like to keep someone hanging there unless it's in a sexual way |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"But not telling the OP he's busy or not interested when he's arranged the meet is bad manners doesn't take long to text or message to say it's cancelled but that's my take on it I just don't like to keep someone hanging there unless it's in a sexual way "
The meet wasn't arranged if you read the OP correctly
"Now we try and pin him down to meeting this coming weekend, he reads the message and then dissapears."
The OP wanted to meet this coming weekend but the person they wanted to meet didn't answer so the meet wasn't arranged only a request to meet was sent! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find that its the last min meets that tend to be the best. Ppl must get cold feet and back out. for some ppl its taken then years to get to this point and then just can't go thru with it. Life is all about making choices, you can make good and bad ones, but I wouldn't ever slag anyone off for backing out. Swinging is about inclusion and I for one love it!  |
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we don't buy the too busy argument as it doesn't take a minute to send a message either on text, on fab or by email, literally one line to say "I am busy, be back in touch soon" or "sorry I changed my mind" wouldn't take much time out of anyones day. No one has a problem with cold feet or guys changing their minds, although it can be disappointing and frustrating after you have got to know them and like them, the hardest thing is when they just disappear. For us, guys can disappear to reappear some months later as if no time had passed and they hadn't just left us wondering if they were dead or alive lol. I think the problem is some people treat online connections totally different to the ones they make in other parts of their lives, they treat online friendships and relationships in a more disposable way. Some even say its not part of their "real lives".  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sorry this has happened to you both.
only thing i can say is some of us do meet and enjoy meeting couples.
no comfort to you i know but some of us do commmit to meeting when its arranged.
good luck. |
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By *-and-K OP Couple
over a year ago
Back of Beyond |
Let me clear this up. The guy suggested this coming weekend earlier last week, in fact he suggested several dates, sort of like a kid given the keys to a sweet shop.
Until this weekend we had told him we were not sure if we could do it but would let him know soonest. We did that on saturday night and no contact since, even though we were chatting saturday morning.
But like Rugby says, you only have our side of the story. As though a no-show is going to come on here and explain himself, yeah right!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you are chatting to the wrong ones cos i dont get any of that at all, though amongst the ones i have chatted to and met over the last 14 months, some have been complete nobs but have turned up as agreed so maybe a change in aftershave is called for  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"After engaging in another couple of weeks chat with a single bloke, when it comes to making the commitment to meet he gets cold feet. For the last 3 weeks he's been gagging to meet us. Now we try and pin him down to meeting this coming weekend, he reads the message and then dissapears.
Not answering emails, pm's or texts.
We have the greatest respect for single blokes but why do they do this and then come and complain they can't get any meets? It just makes it harder for the genuine single guys."
actually i find this quite ironic... since someone put up a thread today that had a go at single guys for not giving people time to answer e-mails.... reading and not getting back straight away...
and yes... situation reversed... and people still having a go at single guys....
i look at mail at work... which means its been read but i can't always answer there and then...
When i come home, i try to get round to answering e-mail.. but don't always have time...
if this had been the other way round... people would have flamed....
like rugby said... we have only had one side of the convo... I think it is harsh that people have basically piled on.... and if it was me, I would now be thinking twice about meeting.....
I am sorry, but no meet is worth being called out for... I'd be mad and i hope this guy has some self respect.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After engaging in another couple of weeks chat with a single bloke, when it comes to making the commitment to meet he gets cold feet. For the last 3 weeks he's been gagging to meet us. Now we try and pin him down to meeting this coming weekend, he reads the message and then dissapears.
Not answering emails, pm's or texts.
We have the greatest respect for single blokes but why do they do this and then come and complain they can't get any meets? It just makes it harder for the genuine single guys."
Well thats a 1st for us as we find they don't waste the opportunity. |
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"To the OP....who knows, he may be busy as to why he hasn't answered your contact.
Or he may just have changed his mind....
That too, and hasn't decided how to answer.
Could also be waiting to figure out wether he can make it and not say anything until he is sure.
Of course none of those could be true either. "
and after reading this thread,i think i can guess which way his decision will be going on the meet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont know why people still get suprised about such things
We all know it happens just move on, at the end of the day all you have done so far is chat, its not big loss if someone you have only spoken to gets cold feet
i dont even see such people as time wasters to be honest, the day i feel that someone whos spoken to me on the internet and then changed their mind has wasted my time is the day i stop this
I'll talk to anyway so such things dont really bother me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What Fabio said ^^^^^ 
Also, to the OP, if he offered the meet for next weekend, and you accepted the meet ..... maybe he thinks the meet is arranged! It is still several days away, after all.
I agree, if you don't hear from him by Friday, then he's probably not going to show. But you can't expect DAILY contact from someone, in the 7 days leading up to an arranged meet. He's probably just getting on with the rest of his life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont know why people still get suprised about such things
We all know it happens just move on, at the end of the day all you have done so far is chat, its not big loss if someone you have only spoken to gets cold feet
i dont even see such people as time wasters to be honest, the day i feel that someone whos spoken to me on the internet and then changed their mind has wasted my time is the day i stop this
I'll talk to anyway so such things dont really bother me"
My view too!
I've been in communication with men who cancel meets, it's not a problem to me, if after a couple they can't commit to a time, not a problem, I move on. If they get back in contact I simply ignore, life really is too short and there are sooooooooo many men to play with to waste time: even though I don't class that as time wasting.
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Let me clear this up. The guy suggested this coming weekend earlier last week, in fact he suggested several dates, sort of like a kid given the keys to a sweet shop.
Until this weekend we had told him we were not sure if we could do it but would let him know soonest. We did that on saturday night and no contact since, even though we were chatting saturday morning.
But like Rugby says, you only have our side of the story. As though a no-show is going to come on here and explain himself, yeah right!
"
They will if they are being spoken about and they think it unjustified as they saw things differently than you.....ie that there is a reason why they didn't get back to you yet.
I also said up there, it may well be none of the reasons I said, ie they could well be someone who isn't going to let you know.
I was looking at both sides of it as I don't know anyone personally on these forums so don't know what is the truth. I keep an open mind.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sassy is right one cancelled meet means nothing people do have lifes away from fab but if that person constantly cancelled meets I would sever ties with that person. One cancelled meet is ok two is unfortunate three is madness. Move on and learn from it not everyone is eager to meet on here some come on here to chat I don't mind the chat part made friends with guys I'd never meet on here |
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"After engaging in another couple of weeks chat with a single bloke, when it comes to making the commitment to meet he gets cold feet. For the last 3 weeks he's been gagging to meet us. Now we try and pin him down to meeting this coming weekend, he reads the message and then dissapears.
Not answering emails, pm's or texts.
We have the greatest respect for single blokes but why do they do this and then come and complain they can't get any meets? It just makes it harder for the genuine single guys."
so no actual meet has been arranged, no time, no date, and no address offered?
so what's your problem?
before jumping to conclusions it may be wise to see if he does get back in touch as he may well have other things to do or places to be..or because he hasn't been able to get a decision out of yourselves he may feel that you may let him down if he agrees to meet..
always 2 sides to these situations and as others have said you haven't entered into a legally binding contract..
so move on and maybe have firm dates in your own mind for when you want to meet in the future so that you can spend a little less time between initial contact and meet..some do get cold feet..
have fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or he could be a married man who needs to be discreet so can't use his phone or computer with his wife there so hasn't been able to get on"
You are such a cynic! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or he could be a married man who needs to be discreet so can't use his phone or computer with his wife there so hasn't been able to get on
You are such a cynic! "
Bet I'm right |
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By *-and-K OP Couple
over a year ago
Back of Beyond |
So what's the problem?
Well you could say that the problem lies in arranging a meeting agreeing to his date and then no further contact.
Now as someone said, we can give him time, he may be busy, but get to friday with no contact and its another wasted weekend.
We could have arranged that weekend to attend a party or meet two individual couples, but we turned down those meetings to spend time with a single bloke.
There's no wonder Katee has mentioned once or twice lately of us leaving the scene, its just too much hassle most of the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He may have other things to attend to. Something could have gone wrong. He could have got ill had an accident or family problem and the last thing on his mind will be a meet. Give the guy a break.
People have lives outside of this lifestyle.
Or maybe he just changed his mind and could not be bothered to chat to you anymore. Either way just move on.
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"So what's the problem?
Well you could say that the problem lies in arranging a meeting agreeing to his date and then no further contact.
Now as someone said, we can give him time, he may be busy, but get to friday with no contact and its another wasted weekend.
We could have arranged that weekend to attend a party or meet two individual couples, but we turned down those meetings to spend time with a single bloke.
There's no wonder Katee has mentioned once or twice lately of us leaving the scene, its just too much hassle most of the time."
i see from ur profile you have verifications going back to 2008 so I'm a little surprised that this has only just become a problem....there are plenty of other sites or clubs you could join and as for leaving; well if this is at it takes to up set ur apple cart and you haven't already learnt from experience and from the forum posts here on this subject perhaps you should...you should try meeting as a single guy and then you may have a firm grasp on disappointment with failed meets...this is hardly worth getting all bent out of shape over...it could just be that he didn't like the tone of your messages and thought not worth it...who knows..maybe get in touch with him and ask him to comment/reply in here. Tell him you felt so let down that you had to ask the opinion of the rest of us.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agree with you 100 percent. F----g idiots make it so difficult for other single guys. Cannot understand what sort of kick they get out of doing it. Also how many so called cpls are in fact a single male who then dissapears from the face of the earth when a meet is imminent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After engaging in another couple of weeks chat with a single bloke, when it comes to making the commitment to meet he gets cold feet. For the last 3 weeks he's been gagging to meet us. Now we try and pin him down to meeting this coming weekend, he reads the message and then dissapears.
Not answering emails, pm's or texts.
We have the greatest respect for single blokes but why do they do this and then come and complain they can't get any meets? It just makes it harder for the genuine single guys."
B-and-K
Another question: do you wonder if calling particular single men out constantly in the forums might actually be spoiling your chances?
Just a thought. |
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"I dont know why people still get suprised about such things
We all know it happens just move on, at the end of the day all you have done so far is chat, its not big loss if someone you have only spoken to gets cold feet
i dont even see such people as time wasters to be honest, the day i feel that someone whos spoken to me on the internet and then changed their mind has wasted my time is the day i stop this
I'll talk to anyway so such things dont really bother me
My view too!
I've been in communication with men who cancel meets, it's not a problem to me, if after a couple they can't commit to a time, not a problem, I move on. If they get back in contact I simply ignore, life really is too short and there are sooooooooo many men to play with to waste time: even though I don't class that as time wasting.
"
Agree with that, only wish there were sooooooo many women to play with, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont know why people still get suprised about such things
We all know it happens just move on, at the end of the day all you have done so far is chat, its not big loss if someone you have only spoken to gets cold feet
i dont even see such people as time wasters to be honest, the day i feel that someone whos spoken to me on the internet and then changed their mind has wasted my time is the day i stop this
I'll talk to anyway so such things dont really bother me
My view too!
I've been in communication with men who cancel meets, it's not a problem to me, if after a couple they can't commit to a time, not a problem, I move on. If they get back in contact I simply ignore, life really is too short and there are sooooooooo many men to play with to waste time: even though I don't class that as time wasting.
Agree with that, only wish there were sooooooo many women to play with, "
Hello gorgeous, I've missed that view!
I'm turning into a pervy old woman lol oh well! |
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By *-and-K OP Couple
over a year ago
Back of Beyond |
"
B-and-K
Another question: do you wonder if calling particular single men out constantly in the forums might actually be spoiling your chances?
Just a thought."
Not at all. The bugbear for us is we don't swing every night or everyweekend. Maybe once a month. So we make the effort to contact likely singles well in advance to make sure we don't waste a meeting. It just makes its harder for other single blokes to get meets with us (or couples like us) in the future.
But don't think its a rant about single blokes, its a complaint about ONE person. We have done the same with couples who have played us along as well.
Like most people on here, our time is precious, swinging is difficult enough to fit into 'private' life without a free weekend being wasted. |
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"Agree with you 100 percent. F----g idiots make it so difficult for other single guys.
No they don't. They make it easier.
Agreed!"
I agree too...and not just because Sassy likes my bum and I'm slightly scared of her either! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I believe and this is just my opinion, I was part of a swinging couple before we split up obviously, so I do know about the etiquette of this lifestyle.
Some single guys shall we say vanilla's think that it would be easy to pull the ladies that swing for an easy shag, which we all know is not the case. So when push comes to shove and finally get to meet they bottle it!!!
We've seen it in here where guys start moaning about they have been here a couple of months and not yet had a meet yet because they expect it instantly.
But that is just my opinion and I know there are plenty of genuine blokes on here too.  |
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