FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Offending people
Offending people
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have a singles profile. I'm quite "fussy" (someone else's words lol) about what I like. If I just delete/ignore someone as they aren't what I'm looking for or even if I message and send a polite thanks but no thanks I still sometimes receive rude messages calling me rude etc or coming up with stupid suggestions like "I can wear a wig" because I like long hair.
Ever think people just want to bang their heads against the wall? It really annoys me. Especially when you see threads pop up saying that people are rude back/ignore them. If people are going to ignore my profile why do they think they deserve a reply? (Genuine question that!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a singles profile. I'm quite "fussy" (someone else's words lol) about what I like. If I just delete/ignore someone as they aren't what I'm looking for or even if I message and send a polite thanks but no thanks I still sometimes receive rude messages calling me rude etc or coming up with stupid suggestions like "I can wear a wig" because I like long hair.
Ever think people just want to bang their heads against the wall? It really annoys me. Especially when you see threads pop up saying that people are rude back/ignore them. If people are going to ignore my profile why do they think they deserve a reply? (Genuine question that!)"
I think the issue you've raised is valid. If they ignore profile or are rude/don't write a decent message etc, then they deserve ignoring or even a rude reply depending on the circumstances.
What I can't fathom is when you read the profile and see if you match it. You do, so you see if you find them attractive. You do, so you send them a nice friendly message as an opening gambit. You then receive a tirade of abuse back and a block. Clever that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thats the reason why i hardly reply to people im not interested in, like this morning i politely told a guy sorry your not my type, and i gets asked why, so when i said i didnt fancy him i was called a few names he seemed to think that because i was on a sex site and he complimented me that it meant i had to meet him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just delete and block  its harsh but its the only way I find to stop it happening! It's not like it's a one off its constant! I feel a right bitch but it's not as if I haven't been pretty blatent in my profile what my preferences are x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We either don't reply , or block those we aren't interested in . Simple .
It's what the site suggests , so why go through the grief ?
"
Because they love it really  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thats the reason why i hardly reply to people im not interested in, like this morning i politely told a guy sorry your not my type, and i gets asked why, so when i said i didnt fancy him i was called a few names he seemed to think that because i was on a sex site and he complimented me that it meant i had to meet him "
Had the same yesterday!!
Saying that we will still say no thanks, doesn't take 10 seconds to type |
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"I have a singles profile. I'm quite "fussy" (someone else's words lol) about what I like. If I just delete/ignore someone as they aren't what I'm looking for or even if I message and send a polite thanks but no thanks I still sometimes receive rude messages calling me rude etc or coming up with stupid suggestions like "I can wear a wig" because I like long hair.
Ever think people just want to bang their heads against the wall? It really annoys me. Especially when you see threads pop up saying that people are rude back/ignore them. If people are going to ignore my profile why do they think they deserve a reply? (Genuine question that!)"
I often read threads like this. Doesn't help us genuine guys who can accept a "no thanks" without throwing our toys out of the pram. They need to grow up. A relpy now and then would be nice thou. Lol. C'mon girls don't tar us all with the same brush. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a singles profile. I'm quite "fussy" (someone else's words lol) about what I like. If I just delete/ignore someone as they aren't what I'm looking for or even if I message and send a polite thanks but no thanks I still sometimes receive rude messages calling me rude etc or coming up with stupid suggestions like "I can wear a wig" because I like long hair.
Ever think people just want to bang their heads against the wall? It really annoys me. Especially when you see threads pop up saying that people are rude back/ignore them. If people are going to ignore my profile why do they think they deserve a reply? (Genuine question that!)
I often read threads like this. Doesn't help us genuine guys who can accept a "no thanks" without throwing our toys out of the pram. They need to grow up. A relpy now and then would be nice thou. Lol. C'mon girls don't tar us all with the same brush. "
It does help...sorts the trash out and makes the other guys look good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thats the reason why i hardly reply to people im not interested in, like this morning i politely told a guy sorry your not my type, and i gets asked why, so when i said i didnt fancy him i was called a few names he seemed to think that because i was on a sex site and he complimented me that it meant i had to meet him
Had the same yesterday!!
Saying that we will still say no thanks, doesn't take 10 seconds to type"
Yeah same but gets annoying when u get grief lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a singles profile. I'm quite "fussy" (someone else's words lol) about what I like. If I just delete/ignore someone as they aren't what I'm looking for or even if I message and send a polite thanks but no thanks I still sometimes receive rude messages calling me rude etc or coming up with stupid suggestions like "I can wear a wig" because I like long hair.
Ever think people just want to bang their heads against the wall? It really annoys me. Especially when you see threads pop up saying that people are rude back/ignore them. If people are going to ignore my profile why do they think they deserve a reply? (Genuine question that!)
I often read threads like this. Doesn't help us genuine guys who can accept a "no thanks" without throwing our toys out of the pram. They need to grow up. A relpy now and then would be nice thou. Lol. C'mon girls don't tar us all with the same brush.
It does help...sorts the trash out and makes the other guys look good"
I'll second that. If every guy was a suave perfect gent I'd be alot more concerned for not getting meets |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thats the reason why i hardly reply to people im not interested in, like this morning i politely told a guy sorry your not my type, and i gets asked why, so when i said i didnt fancy him i was called a few names he seemed to think that because i was on a sex site and he complimented me that it meant i had to meet him
Had the same yesterday!!
Saying that we will still say no thanks, doesn't take 10 seconds to type"
But why.....  |
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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
I receive so many messages (sometimes over a 100 per day). I can't possibly reply to all of them even though I'd like to. Have had to block a few - mostly because of peskiness (10 messages in half an hour type of stuff). Abuse happens sporadically - it's a simple block. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think I might just do that xx
Best way. No comeback and you owe them nowt "
Sounds silly but it's just manners I apply to the normal world that I've struggled to move onto fab. If someone messages me personally, I respond! Nothing to do with loving it if you could see some of the abuse I get! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think I might just do that xx
Best way. No comeback and you owe them nowt
Sounds silly but it's just manners I apply to the normal world that I've struggled to move onto fab. If someone messages me personally, I respond! Nothing to do with loving it if you could see some of the abuse I get! "
Fab is not the real world thou. But we all use the site in different ways |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think I might just do that xx
Best way. No comeback and you owe them nowt
Sounds silly but it's just manners I apply to the normal world that I've struggled to move onto fab. If someone messages me personally, I respond! Nothing to do with loving it if you could see some of the abuse I get!
Thanks for pointing that out! Hadn't realised that people don't expose their cocks and tits in the real world!! Haha. I know it's not the real world, I just said I've struggled to change my manners to suit this environment
Fab is not the real world thou. But we all use the site in different ways "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think I might just do that xx
Best way. No comeback and you owe them nowt
Sounds silly but it's just manners I apply to the normal world that I've struggled to move onto fab. If someone messages me personally, I respond! Nothing to do with loving it if you could see some of the abuse I get!
Fab is not the real world thou. But we all use the site in different ways "
ekkkkk this aint the knitting club forum then  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What annoys me is when people say nasty stuff that they wouldn't have half the guts to in real life. I say if you can't say it to their faces don't feel you need to on here c "
Yea no need for it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think I might just do that xx
Best way. No comeback and you owe them nowt
Sounds silly but it's just manners I apply to the normal world that I've struggled to move onto fab. If someone messages me personally, I respond! Nothing to do with loving it if you could see some of the abuse I get!
Fab is not the real world thou. But we all use the site in different ways
ekkkkk this aint the knitting club forum then "
Haha... Those knitters are a kinky bunch so you never know |
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"What annoys me is when people say nasty stuff that they wouldn't have half the guts to in real life. I say if you can't say it to their faces don't feel you need to on here c "
For many the best form of defence is attack. If a guy kicks off at me because I said no it tells me I was right to say no 
Then I block him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What annoys me is when people say nasty stuff that they wouldn't have half the guts to in real life. I say if you can't say it to their faces don't feel you need to on here c "
Perhaps that's because in many cases they'd be hit in RL? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think I might just do that xx
Best way. No comeback and you owe them nowt
Sounds silly but it's just manners I apply to the normal world that I've struggled to move onto fab. If someone messages me personally, I respond! Nothing to do with loving it if you could see some of the abuse I get!
Fab is not the real world thou. But we all use the site in different ways
ekkkkk this aint the knitting club forum then "
Depends where your gonna stick them needles |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What annoys me is when people say nasty stuff that they wouldn't have half the guts to in real life. I say if you can't say it to their faces don't feel you need to on here c
Perhaps that's because in many cases they'd be hit in RL? "
Definitely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"block guys and do the searching, it may be less angst
But zero ego trip.
I don't want a pissing ego trip. I just want people to be polite.  "
What we want people to behave like and what they actually behave like are two very different things.
I have to agree and ask..why don't you block single guys and do your own searching? It would eliminate your problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"block guys and do the searching, it may be less angst
But zero ego trip.
I don't want a pissing ego trip. I just want people to be polite. "
If they are rude surely that's a good thing. They save you wasting any time chatting to them.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"block guys and do the searching, it may be less angst
But zero ego trip.
I don't want a pissing ego trip. I just want people to be polite.
What we want people to behave like and what they actually behave like are two very different things.
I have to agree and ask..why don't you block single guys and do your own searching? It would eliminate your problem. "
I think I am going to. But I don't have all day to search. It just makes me think why don't people just read the profile? I always read people's profile. For example if I read yours and thought oh he looks hot and I read that you don't like women over a size 12 (just an example) then I wouldn't bother you as I'm a 16. You know what I mean? X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"block guys and do the searching, it may be less angst
But zero ego trip.
I don't want a pissing ego trip. I just want people to be polite.
What we want people to behave like and what they actually behave like are two very different things.
I have to agree and ask..why don't you block single guys and do your own searching? It would eliminate your problem.
I think I am going to. But I don't have all day to search. It just makes me think why don't people just read the profile? I always read people's profile. For example if I read yours and thought oh he looks hot and I read that you don't like women over a size 12 (just an example) then I wouldn't bother you as I'm a 16. You know what I mean? X"
Yeah in an ideal world everyone would read profiles..pay attention and respect our wishes and all that but some don't and that's the way it'll probably stay. It's the nature of sites like this...people often think with their bits before their heads
So yeah...block perhaps and just search as and when you can and when the inclination takes you.
seems the least frustrating way if unsuitable people keep annoying you.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Generally speaking, a polite 'no thank you' tends to get an equally polite 'no worries thanks for responding'. A few magic up a previously unspoken of lady friend and try to pass themselves off as a couple *yawn* a few ask 'whyyyyyyyy?', some try to warn me I could be missing out on the shag of the century etc. Any of the above just get ignored. The tiny handful of genuinely unpleasant/abusive tantrums get reported and blocked. Simples. |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
I always try to reply politely except to the "hi how r u" type of messages, only a couple of times have I had any sort of abuse or negativity back - and one of those was from a man who got upset because I told him the picture he sent of his cock fucking a mushroom (!) Didn't turn me on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always reply politely to messages when we know they have read our profile and made an effort themselves , others we just delete buy can honestly say not one abusive message yet . Sometimes it maybe the way you say no that gets there back up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a singles profile. I'm quite "fussy" (someone else's words lol) about what I like. If I just delete/ignore someone as they aren't what I'm looking for or even if I message and send a polite thanks but no thanks I still sometimes receive rude messages calling me rude etc or coming up with stupid suggestions like "I can wear a wig" because I like long hair.
Ever think people just want to bang their heads against the wall? It really annoys me. Especially when you see threads pop up saying that people are rude back/ignore them. If people are going to ignore my profile why do they think they deserve a reply? (Genuine question that!)"
Absolute agree with you Hun, it's always those with one tracked minds that think it's their way or tantrum storm erupts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What annoys me is when people say nasty stuff that they wouldn't have half the guts to in real life. I say if you can't say it to their faces don't feel you need to on here c "
Yeah that's very true, shows how these "keyboard warriors" have to courage or manners to try and repeat the same cause of action in real life. (Coz they know they'll get a beating left right and centre)  |
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Would be great on this kind of thread if we could put up screen shots of the messages we get sent and also allow the senders to show the messages they have sent to other people . And see if they match . Bet half the people that moan their messages are deleted have sent a pile of crap to hundreds of people and haven't met their requirements. .  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What annoys me is when people say nasty stuff that they wouldn't have half the guts to in real life. I say if you can't say it to their faces don't feel you need to on here c
Yeah that's very true, shows how these "keyboard warriors" have to courage or manners to try and repeat the same cause of action in real life. (Coz they know they'll get a beating left right and centre) "
Yea with a wet fish so BEWARE keyboard warriors you have been warned |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would be great on this kind of thread if we could put up screen shots of the messages we get sent and also allow the senders to show the messages they have sent to other people . And see if they match . Bet half the people that moan their messages are deleted have sent a pile of crap to hundreds of people and haven't met their requirements. . "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would be great on this kind of thread if we could put up screen shots of the messages we get sent and also allow the senders to show the messages they have sent to other people . And see if they match . Bet half the people that moan their messages are deleted have sent a pile of crap to hundreds of people and haven't met their requirements. . "
copy and paste messages |
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"Would be great on this kind of thread if we could put up screen shots of the messages we get sent and also allow the senders to show the messages they have sent to other people . And see if they match . Bet half the people that moan their messages are deleted have sent a pile of crap to hundreds of people and haven't met their requirements. . copy and paste messages "
I meant of the whole page with all the messages in _iew . Like when you first click on mail and mail sent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Politness costs nothing a no thank you is fine "
..
It costs me my time...
I take my filters off of a night.. I do it because someone may message me who I might of missed while looking myself... If they have read profile and sent a face pic (which I ask for in profile).. I will reply...If their profile has intrigued me and they haven't sent a pic.. I'll ask for one... Yet even those people who get replied to with a no thank you ... Many of them have come back with...
Aww but why..
It's not me anyway.. You're a Pic collector!..
Or something nasty.
I even thank people for excepting my no thankyou graciously.. Because it doesn't happen often.
At the end of the day.. No reply =no thank you.. And people can ignore or reply to who they want.. And shouldn't be made to feel bad for how they use their time on the site |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think I might just do that xx
Best way. No comeback and you owe them nowt
Sounds silly but it's just manners I apply to the normal world that I've struggled to move onto fab. If someone messages me personally, I respond! Nothing to do with loving it if you could see some of the abuse I get!
Fab is not the real world thou. But we all use the site in different ways
ekkkkk this aint the knitting club forum then
Haha... Those knitters are a kinky bunch so you never know "
just making a Shaun the Sheep in BDSM outfit |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah I've said no thanks very politely before and just get abuse back. I'm now just gonna delete things.
I want to be polite but unfortunately the idiots and abusive people ruin it for everyone else. |
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By *halMan
over a year ago
North West |
"Yeah I've said no thanks very politely before and just get abuse back. I'm now just gonna delete things.
I want to be polite but unfortunately the idiots and abusive people ruin it for everyone else."
Yes if you get abuse after a no thanks then block fair enough,but a straight block before any form of abuse is that really fair? Just saying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah I've said no thanks very politely before and just get abuse back. I'm now just gonna delete things.
I want to be polite but unfortunately the idiots and abusive people ruin it for everyone else.
Yes if you get abuse after a no thanks then block fair enough,but a straight block before any form of abuse is that really fair? Just saying"
..
If they are never going to meet that person then yes it's fair.. Saves them coming up on searches the repeat messaging |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah I've said no thanks very politely before and just get abuse back. I'm now just gonna delete things.
I want to be polite but unfortunately the idiots and abusive people ruin it for everyone else.
Yes if you get abuse after a no thanks then block fair enough,but a straight block before any form of abuse is that really fair? Just saying
..
If they are never going to meet that person then yes it's fair.. Saves them coming up on searches the repeat messaging "
*and not the |
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By *halMan
over a year ago
North West |
"Yeah I've said no thanks very politely before and just get abuse back. I'm now just gonna delete things.
I want to be polite but unfortunately the idiots and abusive people ruin it for everyone else.
Yes if you get abuse after a no thanks then block fair enough,but a straight block before any form of abuse is that really fair? Just saying
..
If they are never going to meet that person then yes it's fair.. Saves them coming up on searches the repeat messaging "
Fair play but if they have spent a lot of time in sending a message etc isn't it nice to at least send a " No Thanks" First maybe? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah I've said no thanks very politely before and just get abuse back. I'm now just gonna delete things.
I want to be polite but unfortunately the idiots and abusive people ruin it for everyone else.
Yes if you get abuse after a no thanks then block fair enough,but a straight block before any form of abuse is that really fair? Just saying
..
If they are never going to meet that person then yes it's fair.. Saves them coming up on searches the repeat messaging
Fair play but if they have spent a lot of time in sending a message etc isn't it nice to at least send a " No Thanks" First maybe?"
I see your point of _iew but I'm sorry but SOMETIMES after you send a polite "I appreciate your message and the effort but you're not my type, good luck in your search" or ignore the message you get a barrage of abuse calling you fussy, a cunt, fat, twat, bitch etc. If I'm never going to meet someone I'm not gonna bother. And if these knob heads messaging me haven't read my profile which states CLEARLY that I only want to meet men with long hair (NO WIGS THANKS) then why should I bother replying as they clearly haven't bothered to read my profile/think it doesn't apply to them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah I've said no thanks very politely before and just get abuse back. I'm now just gonna delete things.
I want to be polite but unfortunately the idiots and abusive people ruin it for everyone else.
Yes if you get abuse after a no thanks then block fair enough,but a straight block before any form of abuse is that really fair? Just saying
..
If they are never going to meet that person then yes it's fair.. Saves them coming up on searches the repeat messaging
Fair play but if they have spent a lot of time in sending a message etc isn't it nice to at least send a " No Thanks" First maybe?"
..
I reply to everyone who has read profile.. If they have also sent a face pic and match what I'm looking for.. And I am what they are looking for.. If they have read profile and ignored that we don't match then I don't reply either.
I sent out a polite no thanks message this morning and thanked them for a compliment.... And I got told I was too vanilla and needy anyway... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yeah I've said no thanks very politely before and just get abuse back. I'm now just gonna delete things.
I want to be polite but unfortunately the idiots and abusive people ruin it for everyone else.
Yes if you get abuse after a no thanks then block fair enough,but a straight block before any form of abuse is that really fair? Just saying
..
If they are never going to meet that person then yes it's fair.. Saves them coming up on searches the repeat messaging
Fair play but if they have spent a lot of time in sending a message etc isn't it nice to at least send a " No Thanks" First maybe?
..
I reply to everyone who has read profile.. If they have also sent a face pic and match what I'm looking for.. And I am what they are looking for.. If they have read profile and ignored that we don't match then I don't reply either.
I sent out a polite no thanks message this morning and thanked them for a compliment.... And I got told I was too vanilla and needy anyway... "
It's ridiculous isn't it. 99% haven't read my profile. I seriously can't be assed anymore lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah I've said no thanks very politely before and just get abuse back. I'm now just gonna delete things.
I want to be polite but unfortunately the idiots and abusive people ruin it for everyone else.
Yes if you get abuse after a no thanks then block fair enough,but a straight block before any form of abuse is that really fair? Just saying
..
If they are never going to meet that person then yes it's fair.. Saves them coming up on searches the repeat messaging
Fair play but if they have spent a lot of time in sending a message etc isn't it nice to at least send a " No Thanks" First maybe?
..
I reply to everyone who has read profile.. If they have also sent a face pic and match what I'm looking for.. And I am what they are looking for.. If they have read profile and ignored that we don't match then I don't reply either.
I sent out a polite no thanks message this morning and thanked them for a compliment.... And I got told I was too vanilla and needy anyway...
It's ridiculous isn't it. 99% haven't read my profile. I seriously can't be assed anymore lol"
..
It just makes me laugh.. It takes a lot to upset me.. I'm on this site to have fun.. Not to pander to those who can't accept rejection.. The ones that make me laugh most are the ones that don't read profile but expect you to have read theirs |
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Let me say first, I know how this place works.
But blow me, there is a lot of passive aggressive!
We all get messages from people who don't interest us. I always send a polite, brief, thanks but no. Only if they pester do I consider blocking.
Those who send crappy responses to their knock-backs - one would hope - would in real life move on rather than wandering round to your front door and demanding to know why you wouldn't give them a blow-job.
But there again do any of us completely blank people in clubs who when they've asked to join in have been told no thanks and then taken themselves off to another room?
The block button is the virtual world equivalent of the hijab. It says as much about those who use much of the time as it does about those who it's used to counter.
There, bet this earns me a few blocks. Go on prove me wrong!
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By *anklerMan
over a year ago
Suffolk |
"I always try to reply politely except to the "hi how r u" type of messages, only a couple of times have I had any sort of abuse or negativity back - and one of those was from a man who got upset because I told him the picture he sent of his cock fucking a mushroom (!) Didn't turn me on."
Fucking a mushroom?
What?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Couldn't remotely careless about upsetting people I have or will never meet online from a sex site .
People need to grow thick skin or not play with grown ups .
Block Delete as many have said . |
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