FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > married guy yes I know .
married guy yes I know .
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Good morning all yes I know people already looking and going tut tut.im on here as have a higher sex drive than other half.problem is that I have spoken to some very sexy and fun people but finding it hard to get the time to meet up are there others like me out there . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's your problem to work out. If you're on here without your partner's permission, then you have to deal with trying to hide the meets from them.
I'm sorry, but you won't get any sympathy from us. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Yes their are many but guys on here do struggle to get meets but guys that admit they are being unfaithful probably get less ,its a frustrating place "
He's complaining he doesn't have time for meets, not that he can't get meets.
I imagine finding excuses for disappearing off for meets is difficult. |
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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago
solihull |
"Good morning all yes I know people already looking and going tut tut.im on here as have a higher sex drive than other half.problem is that I have spoken to some very sexy and fun people but finding it hard to get the time to meet up are there others like me out there ."
.... And we need to know this because??? |
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"Good morning all yes I know people already looking and going tut tut.im on here as have a higher sex drive than other half.problem is that I have spoken to some very sexy and fun people but finding it hard to get the time to meet up are there others like me out there ."
Plenty. |
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"Good morning all yes I know people already looking and going tut tut.im on here as have a higher sex drive than other half.problem is that I have spoken to some very sexy and fun people but finding it hard to get the time to meet up are there others like me out there ."
If u have a higher sex drive than partner try wanking!! Kind of makes it sound like u are blaming her for not wanting sex 24/7, does she really deserve to be cheated on??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP, I'm going to leave the cheating thing aside and just ask why we need to know this? Are you looking for ideas for how to sneak away from your wife or something?
I don't get it.
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good morning all yes I know people already looking and going tut tut.im on here as have a higher sex drive than other half.problem is that I have spoken to some very sexy and fun people but finding it hard to get the time to meet up are there others like me out there ."
Why not just leave her and save her the heartbreak of finding out what your doing behind her back, not very nice of ya parading yourself on a thread about how you cant find time to sneak behind her back to shag other people.. |
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"Good morning all yes I know people already looking and going tut tut.im on here as have a higher sex drive than other half.problem is that I have spoken to some very sexy and fun people but finding it hard to get the time to meet up are there others like me out there .
Why not just leave her and save her the heartbreak of finding out what your doing behind her back, not very nice of ya parading yourself on a thread about how you cant find time to sneak behind her back to shag other people.."
 this!
Let's have a guess how long it will be b4 OPs message says.. user no longer on site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP, I'm going to leave the cheating thing aside and just ask why we need to know this? Are you looking for ideas for how to sneak away from your wife or something?
I don't get it.
-Courtney "
Think you are on to something there Courtney.
OK here is my suggestion, all the married cheating guys should get together and Form an excuse club. You can cover for each other citing club meeting when one wants to cheat.
But if you are not sexy enough to turn on your wife, how do you expect to turn on strangers? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP, I'm going to leave the cheating thing aside and just ask why we need to know this? Are you looking for ideas for how to sneak away from your wife or something?
I don't get it.
-Courtney
Think you are on to something there Courtney.
OK here is my suggestion, all the married cheating guys should get together and Form an excuse club. You can cover for each other citing club meeting when one wants to cheat.
But if you are not sexy enough to turn on your wife, how do you expect to turn on strangers? "
this - if the person who knows you best doesn't want to fuck you, why the hell would I? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good morning all yes I know people already looking and going tut tut.im on here as have a higher sex drive than other half.problem is that I have spoken to some very sexy and fun people but finding it hard to get the time to meet up are there others like me out there .
Why not just leave her and save her the heartbreak of finding out what your doing behind her back, not very nice of ya parading yourself on a thread about how you cant find time to sneak behind her back to shag other people..
this!
Let's have a guess how long it will be b4 OPs message says.. user no longer on site. "
And with some of the replies you see on these threads I'm not the slightest bit surprised! I would never meet a married/attached guy as for me, its all wrong however, I don't know their situation and I don't wish to as it is none of my business, I just leave them to it. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
" But if you are not sexy enough to turn on your wife, how do you expect to turn on strangers?"
This is a very good point. And yet they always blame the wife.
If a man doesn't want sex with a woman, she thinks there's something wrong with her and blames herself.
If a woman doesn't want sex with a man, he thinks there's something wrong with her and blames her.
As evidenced on here frequently. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You could always say to your wife "hey, I'm off out to have my wicked way with some random person I've just met, don't worry though. When I get home I'm going to give you the best oral ever and while coming back up for air I'm going to tell you all the juicy details ." It works for a lot of people on here. As a free and easy going couple , if either of us did anything without each other's mutual consent then that would be it for us. No cheating.... Ever !! That's out personal take. |
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"Good morning all yes I know people already looking and going tut tut.im on here as have a higher sex drive than other half.problem is that I have spoken to some very sexy and fun people but finding it hard to get the time to meet up are there others like me out there ."
You chose to take those vows and enter into the commitment. Hate those types of posts.
If you want to be unfaithful, its your burden to shoulder alone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
But if you are not sexy enough to turn on your wife, how do you expect to turn on strangers? "
I know nothing of the OP and think the thread a bit misguided - but I think this is an unfair statement and quite wide of the mark in a lot of my experience. I'd also be amazed if a married woman would be addressed in the same way, certainly no one has (yet) accused me of it. |
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet 
Why should he? Who is he harming here?"
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" But if you are not sexy enough to turn on your wife, how do you expect to turn on strangers?
This is a very good point. And yet they always blame the wife.
If a man doesn't want sex with a woman, she thinks there's something wrong with her and blames herself.
If a woman doesn't want sex with a man, he thinks there's something wrong with her and blames her.
As evidenced on here frequently."
So,I wasn't sexy enough to turn my husband on when he didn't want sex with me? Or does it only apply when the woman doesn't want sex? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am married and on here as a couple and as a single, but my wife is too, we have no secrets and would never meet without the knowledge and agreement of each other. Having been cheated on in previous marriages, I would say your barking mad to go behind her back, just talk to her |
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well."
How do all couples on here know that deep down their OH, that they persuaded to swing a good few years ago isn't uneasy with it all? I really dislike this judgemental attitude, especially from couples who openly play in front of their partners and then berate others about doing it, albeit behind their spouse's back. I don't see the difference, except one involves rubbing your partner's nose in it. If you and your partner did not discover swinging together ... and there was no persuasion involved, how do you really know they aren't doing it just to keep you happy and dying inside? Why are couples so judgemental ... it smacks of turning the spotlight on someone else so they aren't questioned. In real life, do you really think your relationship would be up to such scrutiny? Its perfect because you swing? Unlikely .... not aimed at anyone in particular and if you come across as a holier than thou couple, take it as being directed to you. If you want to use the green arrow, you'll see my perspective and experience .... although its been a while since I posted on it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well."
I said here not no one. I'm not defending him or attacking him, I don't know him and neither do you. She might be secretly thankful that he's here. It might make the relationship stronger. Do you know? Or does it offend your sensibilities so much that you just feel the need to join the forum bullying pack? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" But if you are not sexy enough to turn on your wife, how do you expect to turn on strangers?
This is a very good point. And yet they always blame the wife.
If a man doesn't want sex with a woman, she thinks there's something wrong with her and blames herself.
If a woman doesn't want sex with a man, he thinks there's something wrong with her and blames her.
As evidenced on here frequently.
So,I wasn't sexy enough to turn my husband on when he didn't want sex with me? Or does it only apply when the woman doesn't want sex? "
I'm not sure. I *think* I'm sexy enough to turn on strangers, occasionally. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
How do all couples on here know that deep down their OH, that they persuaded to swing a good few years ago isn't uneasy with it all? I really dislike this judgemental attitude, especially from couples who openly play in front of their partners and then berate others about doing it, albeit behind their spouse's back. I don't see the difference, except one involves rubbing your partner's nose in it. If you and your partner did not discover swinging together ... and there was no persuasion involved, how do you really know they aren't doing it just to keep you happy and dying inside? Why are couples so judgemental ... it smacks of turning the spotlight on someone else so they aren't questioned. In real life, do you really think your relationship would be up to such scrutiny? Its perfect because you swing? Unlikely .... not aimed at anyone in particular and if you come across as a holier than thou couple, take it as being directed to you. If you want to use the green arrow, you'll see my perspective and experience .... although its been a while since I posted on it."
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"Not going anywhere lol"
Don't go anywhere, OP, call the bullies on their attitude. Lots of married men can 'cheat' and have their cake and eat it. Some people feel that its more respectful to not have their partner see all the intimate details .... yes, I am part of a couple, but not judgemental ... and yes I have been cheated on in the past. Would have much preferred my ex ex ex to have met and fucked someone on a swinging site than have a full blown affair. |
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
I said here not no one. I'm not defending him or attacking him, I don't know him and neither do you. She might be secretly thankful that he's here. It might make the relationship stronger. Do you know? Or does it offend your sensibilities so much that you just feel the need to join the forum bullying pack?"
Yes I'm sure she is secretly glad he is on here, I'm sure she loves that he wants other women over her, and yes u are defending him, he put it up there and rightly is getting shot down in flames. If u don't want other people's opinions don't ask the question.
In future don't accuse us of bullying as u will see we have merely given our opinion which pretty much echos 90% of people's views on here. |
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"Not going anywhere lol
Don't go anywhere, OP, call the bullies on their attitude. Lots of married men can 'cheat' and have their cake and eat it. Some people feel that its more respectful to not have their partner see all the intimate details .... yes, I am part of a couple, but not judgemental ... and yes I have been cheated on in the past. Would have much preferred my ex ex ex to have met and fucked someone on a swinging site than have a full blown affair."
Call the bullies on there attitude??? Wow I've seriously heard it all now. |
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
I said here not no one. I'm not defending him or attacking him, I don't know him and neither do you. She might be secretly thankful that he's here. It might make the relationship stronger. Do you know? Or does it offend your sensibilities so much that you just feel the need to join the forum bullying pack?
Yes I'm sure she is secretly glad he is on here, I'm sure she loves that he wants other women over her, and yes u are defending him, he put it up there and rightly is getting shot down in flames. If u don't want other people's opinions don't ask the question.
In future don't accuse us of bullying as u will see we have merely given our opinion which pretty much echos 90% of people's views on here. "
He's asking about how to make the time ... not for anyone's opinions as to whether he should swing or still be on the site, though .... many people in the 'real' world would berate couples for being on here, even together. So, what's the point of having a go at him, just because 90% of other do (I would doubt that scientific statistic anyway) |
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"Not going anywhere lol
Don't go anywhere, OP, call the bullies on their attitude. Lots of married men can 'cheat' and have their cake and eat it. Some people feel that its more respectful to not have their partner see all the intimate details .... yes, I am part of a couple, but not judgemental ... and yes I have been cheated on in the past. Would have much preferred my ex ex ex to have met and fucked someone on a swinging site than have a full blown affair.
Call the bullies on there attitude??? Wow I've seriously heard it all now."
Asking them to justify their perfect relationship and how their marriage is so much better than his, if they know the ins and outs of it .... without being personal. I am interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
I said here not no one. I'm not defending him or attacking him, I don't know him and neither do you. She might be secretly thankful that he's here. It might make the relationship stronger. Do you know? Or does it offend your sensibilities so much that you just feel the need to join the forum bullying pack?
Yes I'm sure she is secretly glad he is on here, I'm sure she loves that he wants other women over her, and yes u are defending him, he put it up there and rightly is getting shot down in flames. If u don't want other people's opinions don't ask the question.
In future don't accuse us of bullying as u will see we have merely given our opinion which pretty much echos 90% of people's views on here. "
He didn't ask for an opinion on what he was doing he just asked if there were others like him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good morning all yes I know people already looking and going tut tut.im on here as have a higher sex drive than other half.problem is that I have spoken to some very sexy and fun people but finding it hard to get the time to meet up are there others like me out there ."
Your wife probably has just as high a sex drive, hopefully messaging blokes like me to come help her out |
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"Not going anywhere lol
Don't go anywhere, OP, call the bullies on their attitude. Lots of married men can 'cheat' and have their cake and eat it. Some people feel that its more respectful to not have their partner see all the intimate details .... yes, I am part of a couple, but not judgemental ... and yes I have been cheated on in the past. Would have much preferred my ex ex ex to have met and fucked someone on a swinging site than have a full blown affair.
Call the bullies on there attitude??? Wow I've seriously heard it all now.
Asking them to justify their perfect relationship and how their marriage is so much better than his, if they know the ins and outs of it .... without being personal. I am interested. "
I'd say one word that makes there relationship better than his.... honesty!
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
I said here not no one. I'm not defending him or attacking him, I don't know him and neither do you. She might be secretly thankful that he's here. It might make the relationship stronger. Do you know? Or does it offend your sensibilities so much that you just feel the need to join the forum bullying pack?
Yes I'm sure she is secretly glad he is on here, I'm sure she loves that he wants other women over her, and yes u are defending him, he put it up there and rightly is getting shot down in flames. If u don't want other people's opinions don't ask the question.
In future don't accuse us of bullying as u will see we have merely given our opinion which pretty much echos 90% of people's views on here.
He didn't ask for an opinion on what he was doing he just asked if there were others like him"
No he didn't he asked how he can make time to cheat on his wife. |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"Good morning all yes I know people already looking and going tut tut.im on here as have a higher sex drive than other half.problem is that I have spoken to some very sexy and fun people but finding it hard to get the time to meet up are there others like me out there ."
You could always get her to cheat on you too. That way, she'll be out with her lover behind your back and you'll have all the time in the world to sneak someone in |
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"Not going anywhere lol
Don't go anywhere, OP, call the bullies on their attitude. Lots of married men can 'cheat' and have their cake and eat it. Some people feel that its more respectful to not have their partner see all the intimate details .... yes, I am part of a couple, but not judgemental ... and yes I have been cheated on in the past. Would have much preferred my ex ex ex to have met and fucked someone on a swinging site than have a full blown affair.
Call the bullies on there attitude??? Wow I've seriously heard it all now.
Asking them to justify their perfect relationship and how their marriage is so much better than his, if they know the ins and outs of it .... without being personal. I am interested.
I'd say one word that makes there relationship better than his.... honesty!
"
Its a word that doesn't necessarily prove anything to say it .... easy to bandy it about to justify behaviour that one partner wants more than the other. It could just as easily be coercion from one partner to another in a swinging couple ... many who have been to clubs have seen this at first hand (in couples, not you per se), so who is to say it isn't more respectful for him to leave his wife out of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
I said here not no one. I'm not defending him or attacking him, I don't know him and neither do you. She might be secretly thankful that he's here. It might make the relationship stronger. Do you know? Or does it offend your sensibilities so much that you just feel the need to join the forum bullying pack?
Yes I'm sure she is secretly glad he is on here, I'm sure she loves that he wants other women over her, and yes u are defending him, he put it up there and rightly is getting shot down in flames. If u don't want other people's opinions don't ask the question.
In future don't accuse us of bullying as u will see we have merely given our opinion which pretty much echos 90% of people's views on here. "
Where did you get the 90% stats from, ah i know you plucked it from thin air....
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
I said here not no one. I'm not defending him or attacking him, I don't know him and neither do you. She might be secretly thankful that he's here. It might make the relationship stronger. Do you know? Or does it offend your sensibilities so much that you just feel the need to join the forum bullying pack?
Yes I'm sure she is secretly glad he is on here, I'm sure she loves that he wants other women over her, and yes u are defending him, he put it up there and rightly is getting shot down in flames. If u don't want other people's opinions don't ask the question.
In future don't accuse us of bullying as u will see we have merely given our opinion which pretty much echos 90% of people's views on here.
He didn't ask for an opinion on what he was doing he just asked if there were others like him
No he didn't he asked how he can make time to cheat on his wife."
We can't even find the time to meet Jo and play, so there's no hope, OP even for those of us who are deemed to being the elite, ie couples..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
I said here not no one. I'm not defending him or attacking him, I don't know him and neither do you. She might be secretly thankful that he's here. It might make the relationship stronger. Do you know? Or does it offend your sensibilities so much that you just feel the need to join the forum bullying pack?
Yes I'm sure she is secretly glad he is on here, I'm sure she loves that he wants other women over her, and yes u are defending him, he put it up there and rightly is getting shot down in flames. If u don't want other people's opinions don't ask the question.
In future don't accuse us of bullying as u will see we have merely given our opinion which pretty much echos 90% of people's views on here.
He didn't ask for an opinion on what he was doing he just asked if there were others like him
No he didn't he asked how he can make time to cheat on his wife."
No didn't ask a question how he could find the time he asked if there were others like him |
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
I said here not no one. I'm not defending him or attacking him, I don't know him and neither do you. She might be secretly thankful that he's here. It might make the relationship stronger. Do you know? Or does it offend your sensibilities so much that you just feel the need to join the forum bullying pack?
Yes I'm sure she is secretly glad he is on here, I'm sure she loves that he wants other women over her, and yes u are defending him, he put it up there and rightly is getting shot down in flames. If u don't want other people's opinions don't ask the question.
In future don't accuse us of bullying as u will see we have merely given our opinion which pretty much echos 90% of people's views on here.
Where did you get the 90% stats from, ah i know you plucked it from thin air....
"
Terribly sorry I disn't calculate the exact figure but as u will see apart from the select few most people are against what the OP is doing/trying to do. But guess I was wrong seems there are women out there who love having cheating guys, such a turn on for them I guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not going anywhere lol"
Well as you can see these kind of threads bring out heated responses, even more so if you're not a woman 
The best thing OP is to inform people of your marital status so they can chose to meet you or not & just crack on with it. If you can't find the time then maybe it's a sign that it's not meant to be. |
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
I said here not no one. I'm not defending him or attacking him, I don't know him and neither do you. She might be secretly thankful that he's here. It might make the relationship stronger. Do you know? Or does it offend your sensibilities so much that you just feel the need to join the forum bullying pack?
Yes I'm sure she is secretly glad he is on here, I'm sure she loves that he wants other women over her, and yes u are defending him, he put it up there and rightly is getting shot down in flames. If u don't want other people's opinions don't ask the question.
In future don't accuse us of bullying as u will see we have merely given our opinion which pretty much echos 90% of people's views on here.
Where did you get the 90% stats from, ah i know you plucked it from thin air....
Terribly sorry I disn't calculate the exact figure but as u will see apart from the select few most people are against what the OP is doing/trying to do. But guess I was wrong seems there are women out there who love having cheating guys, such a turn on for them I guess."
Forum posters don't represent the whole of fabs .... and many, many members of fabs are indeed married playing solo. Like I said, many couples who swing comprise of one partner far more willing than the other .... there is a fine, fine line between cheating and swinging. The line is far too fine to make a big song and dance about it, in my opinion |
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"Not going anywhere lol
Well as you can see these kind of threads bring out heated responses, even more so if you're not a woman
The best thing OP is to inform people of your marital status so they can chose to meet you or not & just crack on with it. If you can't find the time then maybe it's a sign that it's not meant to be."
Agreed. |
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
I said here not no one. I'm not defending him or attacking him, I don't know him and neither do you. She might be secretly thankful that he's here. It might make the relationship stronger. Do you know? Or does it offend your sensibilities so much that you just feel the need to join the forum bullying pack?
Yes I'm sure she is secretly glad he is on here, I'm sure she loves that he wants other women over her, and yes u are defending him, he put it up there and rightly is getting shot down in flames. If u don't want other people's opinions don't ask the question.
In future don't accuse us of bullying as u will see we have merely given our opinion which pretty much echos 90% of people's views on here.
Where did you get the 90% stats from, ah i know you plucked it from thin air....
Terribly sorry I disn't calculate the exact figure but as u will see apart from the select few most people are against what the OP is doing/trying to do. But guess I was wrong seems there are women out there who love having cheating guys, such a turn on for them I guess.
Forum posters don't represent the whole of fabs .... and many, many members of fabs are indeed married playing solo. Like I said, many couples who swing comprise of one partner far more willing than the other .... there is a fine, fine line between cheating and swinging. The line is far too fine to make a big song and dance about it, in my opinion"
Your never gonna get me to agree with ur opinion on this and I certainly won't get u to agree with mine so im going to agree to disagree. Happy Swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
I said here not no one. I'm not defending him or attacking him, I don't know him and neither do you. She might be secretly thankful that he's here. It might make the relationship stronger. Do you know? Or does it offend your sensibilities so much that you just feel the need to join the forum bullying pack?
Yes I'm sure she is secretly glad he is on here, I'm sure she loves that he wants other women over her, and yes u are defending him, he put it up there and rightly is getting shot down in flames. If u don't want other people's opinions don't ask the question.
In future don't accuse us of bullying as u will see we have merely given our opinion which pretty much echos 90% of people's views on here.
Where did you get the 90% stats from, ah i know you plucked it from thin air....
Terribly sorry I disn't calculate the exact figure but as u will see apart from the select few most people are against what the OP is doing/trying to do. But guess I was wrong seems there are women out there who love having cheating guys, such a turn on for them I guess."
What a ridiculous sweeping statement.
This is one of hundreds of these type of threads, each will have people that are for, against & indifferent to what the OP is doing.
|
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
I said here not no one. I'm not defending him or attacking him, I don't know him and neither do you. She might be secretly thankful that he's here. It might make the relationship stronger. Do you know? Or does it offend your sensibilities so much that you just feel the need to join the forum bullying pack?
Yes I'm sure she is secretly glad he is on here, I'm sure she loves that he wants other women over her, and yes u are defending him, he put it up there and rightly is getting shot down in flames. If u don't want other people's opinions don't ask the question.
In future don't accuse us of bullying as u will see we have merely given our opinion which pretty much echos 90% of people's views on here.
Where did you get the 90% stats from, ah i know you plucked it from thin air....
Terribly sorry I disn't calculate the exact figure but as u will see apart from the select few most people are against what the OP is doing/trying to do. But guess I was wrong seems there are women out there who love having cheating guys, such a turn on for them I guess.
What a ridiculous sweeping statement.
This is one of hundreds of these type of threads, each will have people that are for, against & indifferent to what the OP is doing.
"
Not arguing with u, u clearly have a different set of morals to me so I'm not going to waste my time debating this |
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
I said here not no one. I'm not defending him or attacking him, I don't know him and neither do you. She might be secretly thankful that he's here. It might make the relationship stronger. Do you know? Or does it offend your sensibilities so much that you just feel the need to join the forum bullying pack?
Yes I'm sure she is secretly glad he is on here, I'm sure she loves that he wants other women over her, and yes u are defending him, he put it up there and rightly is getting shot down in flames. If u don't want other people's opinions don't ask the question.
In future don't accuse us of bullying as u will see we have merely given our opinion which pretty much echos 90% of people's views on here.
Where did you get the 90% stats from, ah i know you plucked it from thin air....
Terribly sorry I disn't calculate the exact figure but as u will see apart from the select few most people are against what the OP is doing/trying to do. But guess I was wrong seems there are women out there who love having cheating guys, such a turn on for them I guess.
What a ridiculous sweeping statement.
This is one of hundreds of these type of threads, each will have people that are for, against & indifferent to what the OP is doing.
Not arguing with u, u clearly have a different set of morals to me so I'm not going to waste my time debating this"
Don't then .... it's not worth it because you are protesting too much |
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
I said here not no one. I'm not defending him or attacking him, I don't know him and neither do you. She might be secretly thankful that he's here. It might make the relationship stronger. Do you know? Or does it offend your sensibilities so much that you just feel the need to join the forum bullying pack?
Yes I'm sure she is secretly glad he is on here, I'm sure she loves that he wants other women over her, and yes u are defending him, he put it up there and rightly is getting shot down in flames. If u don't want other people's opinions don't ask the question.
In future don't accuse us of bullying as u will see we have merely given our opinion which pretty much echos 90% of people's views on here.
Where did you get the 90% stats from, ah i know you plucked it from thin air....
Terribly sorry I disn't calculate the exact figure but as u will see apart from the select few most people are against what the OP is doing/trying to do. But guess I was wrong seems there are women out there who love having cheating guys, such a turn on for them I guess.
What a ridiculous sweeping statement.
This is one of hundreds of these type of threads, each will have people that are for, against & indifferent to what the OP is doing.
Not arguing with u, u clearly have a different set of morals to me so I'm not going to waste my time debating this
Don't then .... it's not worth it because you are protesting too much"
I tried to end this pleasantly but u had to have a final pop didnt u, bit pathetic really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
And back to the original question lol
Jeeez should we really take this all too seriously? Isnt it supposed to be about the fun!?!
Who cares who is what in their real life?! Who cares who does what with whom aslong as its all mutual consented?
Lifes too short and this site is supposed to be a place to meet and fulfil your sexual fantasies/desires...the rest is up to that individual to deal with in their own life behond this place! |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
Morality has nothing to do with it. There can be mitigating circumstances when one partner cheats on the other to obtain sexual gratification. Ofcourse one can argue that the cheating partner should forsake sex. But human beings are not designed to be celibate
My take on this is that I will not ever meet a married man because he will be using me. Granted that this is a swinging site and one is not supposed to form any kind of an emotional bond with sex partners. However, sometimes these bonds develop and people start to get closer than they had initially planned to
With a married man, the woman will always be just a piece of meat, with once he is through, will be out of that door like a bat out of hell |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
And after all that I still don't get the point if this thread.
OP, are you looking for other people cheating or are you looking for advice on getting time away from your wife?
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not going anywhere lol
Well as you can see these kind of threads bring out heated responses, even more so if you're not a woman
The best thing OP is to inform people of your marital status so they can chose to meet you or not & just crack on with it. If you can't find the time then maybe it's a sign that it's not meant to be."
This from me too!
There are plenty of married's on here who are here without their wife's/husband's knowledge or consent! I neither condone nor condemn - I just accept that it happens! X |
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Why does the OP think that this is only a problem for married men. We regularly have to organise our swinging around work, family and our vanilla friends and events; it's called life. It's just that by playing together we have one less obstacle and more time for play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Oh here goes I'm sure this may ruffle feathers
Op is being honest about being mmarried.as he states he has a much higher sex drive than his wife who I'm sure he loves and really doesn't want to have a full blown affair with someone but perhaps meet like minded people for mutually rewarding sex. We all have our reasons and everyone is different. You can't please everyone .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good morning all yes I know people already looking and going tut tut.im on here as have a higher sex drive than other half.problem is that I have spoken to some very sexy and fun people but finding it hard to get the time to meet up are there others like me out there ."
Thousands that's why I don't meet married guys they only have time for Randoms and random sex is two a penny |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
" But if you are not sexy enough to turn on your wife, how do you expect to turn on strangers?
This is a very good point. And yet they always blame the wife.
If a man doesn't want sex with a woman, she thinks there's something wrong with her and blames herself.
If a woman doesn't want sex with a man, he thinks there's something wrong with her and blames her.
As evidenced on here frequently.
So,I wasn't sexy enough to turn my husband on when he didn't want sex with me? Or does it only apply when the woman doesn't want sex? "
I don't know, since I don't know either of you.
My point is that someone blaming their partner for "making" them cheat is a shitty thing to do, and really disrespectful.
It may well be his fault his wife doesn't want sex. Or it could be her, or it could be that both play their part. Perhaps she's already cheating. Only they know.
It annoys me when people blame their absent and completely unaware partners for their infidelity though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If u have a higher sex drive than partner try wanking!! Kind of makes it sound like u are blaming her for not wanting sex 24/7, does she really deserve to be cheated on???"
The dumbest thing I've seen so far today. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"The Fab Mightier than thou preachers out in force again I see  "
Guys who blame their wives for their (the guy's) choices deserve to be told they're (the guy) arseholes. It's a shitty thing to do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The Fab Mightier than thou preachers out in force again I see "
Totally with you on this. There's a giant bandwagon and people just can't wait to jump aboard.
|
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"The Fab Mightier than thou preachers out in force again I see "
I think that most of the married and cheating guys, of which there are literally thousands here, will agree with you wholeheartedly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
How do all couples on here know that deep down their OH, that they persuaded to swing a good few years ago isn't uneasy with it all? I really dislike this judgemental attitude, especially from couples who openly play in front of their partners and then berate others about doing it, albeit behind their spouse's back. I don't see the difference, except one involves rubbing your partner's nose in it. If you and your partner did not discover swinging together ... and there was no persuasion involved, how do you really know they aren't doing it just to keep you happy and dying inside? Why are couples so judgemental ... it smacks of turning the spotlight on someone else so they aren't questioned. In real life, do you really think your relationship would be up to such scrutiny? Its perfect because you swing? Unlikely .... not aimed at anyone in particular and if you come across as a holier than thou couple, take it as being directed to you. If you want to use the green arrow, you'll see my perspective and experience .... although its been a while since I posted on it."
let's face it a lot of consenting marrieds are forgetting their own wedding vows. ... forsaking all others! (Sits back and awaits the abuse ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
And people wonder why some choose not to disclose that they're are married on here 
All this does is reinforce that if you're cheating it's best to keep shtum which of course shouldn't be the case.. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"And people wonder why some choose not to disclose that they're are married on here
All this does is reinforce that if you're cheating it's best to keep shtum which of course shouldn't be the case.."
Or be honest about it to potential meets but don't advertise it all over the fora.
Posting about it invites comments and on this particular subject a lot are negative.
Keep it quiet except with potential meets. Nobody else on here is affected by it so we don't need to know. |
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"And people wonder why some choose not to disclose that they're are married on here
All this does is reinforce that if you're cheating it's best to keep shtum which of course shouldn't be the case..
Or be honest about it to potential meets but don't advertise it all over the fora.
Posting about it invites comments and on this particular subject a lot are negative.
Keep it quiet except with potential meets. Nobody else on here is affected by it so we don't need to know."
|
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"And people wonder why some choose not to disclose that they're are married on here
All this does is reinforce that if you're cheating it's best to keep shtum which of course shouldn't be the case.."
Keeping shtum, under those circumstances, is a good idea as it wouldn't go down well with 'the wife' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And people wonder why some choose not to disclose that they're are married on here
All this does is reinforce that if you're cheating it's best to keep shtum which of course shouldn't be the case..
Or be honest about it to potential meets but don't advertise it all over the fora.
Posting about it invites comments and on this particular subject a lot are negative.
Keep it quiet except with potential meets. Nobody else on here is affected by it so we don't need to know."
Yes posting about it invites negative comment, but I see time and time again people (mainly women) bemoaning the fact that men have not stated it on their profile and they've wasted their time on the first couple of messages before finding out. People should be prepared to be challenged, but I disagree that keeping quiet is the ideal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
And after all that I still don't get the point if this thread.
OP, are you looking for other people cheating or are you looking for advice on getting time away from your wife?
-Courtney "
 I never got an answer to my question. Maybe he'll answer from his next profile.
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And people wonder why some choose not to disclose that they're are married on here
All this does is reinforce that if you're cheating it's best to keep shtum which of course shouldn't be the case..
Or be honest about it to potential meets but don't advertise it all over the fora.
Posting about it invites comments and on this particular subject a lot are negative.
Keep it quiet except with potential meets. Nobody else on here is affected by it so we don't need to know."
Yes that's what I meant. Don't shout it from the rooftops in the forum just crack on & inform those who need to know.
I just feel that anyone reading some of these sweeping statements may feel they should just keep quiet overall, which we know from some other threads that they do! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yep there's me... I can only usually meet up during the day but never find it a problem as plenty of others are in the same position. If you really want it you will make time for it.
So what if we are attached what we do is our business.
Just have fun life is too short
X |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"And people wonder why some choose not to disclose that they're are married on here
All this does is reinforce that if you're cheating it's best to keep shtum which of course shouldn't be the case..
Or be honest about it to potential meets but don't advertise it all over the fora.
Posting about it invites comments and on this particular subject a lot are negative.
Keep it quiet except with potential meets. Nobody else on here is affected by it so we don't need to know.
Yes posting about it invites negative comment, but I see time and time again people (mainly women) bemoaning the fact that men have not stated it on their profile and they've wasted their time on the first couple of messages before finding out. People should be prepared to be challenged, but I disagree that keeping quiet is the ideal. "
There is a difference in putting it on a profile and plastering it on a public forum though.
One is relevant information, the other inviting discussion.
I think blaming his wife was what caused most of the problem though. That's just crappy. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"And people wonder why some choose not to disclose that they're are married on here
All this does is reinforce that if you're cheating it's best to keep shtum which of course shouldn't be the case..
Or be honest about it to potential meets but don't advertise it all over the fora.
Posting about it invites comments and on this particular subject a lot are negative.
Keep it quiet except with potential meets. Nobody else on here is affected by it so we don't need to know.
Yes that's what I meant. Don't shout it from the rooftops in the forum just crack on & inform those who need to know.
I just feel that anyone reading some of these sweeping statements may feel they should just keep quiet overall, which we know from some other threads that they do!"
|
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By *rsIdiotWoman
over a year ago
Bedworth |
"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
How do all couples on here know that deep down their OH, that they persuaded to swing a good few years ago isn't uneasy with it all? I really dislike this judgemental attitude, especially from couples who openly play in front of their partners and then berate others about doing it, albeit behind their spouse's back. I don't see the difference, except one involves rubbing your partner's nose in it. If you and your partner did not discover swinging together ... and there was no persuasion involved, how do you really know they aren't doing it just to keep you happy and dying inside? Why are couples so judgemental ... it smacks of turning the spotlight on someone else so they aren't questioned. In real life, do you really think your relationship would be up to such scrutiny? Its perfect because you swing? Unlikely .... not aimed at anyone in particular and if you come across as a holier than thou couple, take it as being directed to you. If you want to use the green arrow, you'll see my perspective and experience .... although its been a while since I posted on it.
let's face it a lot of consenting marrieds are forgetting their own wedding vows. ... forsaking all others! (Sits back and awaits the abuse )"
They are, but at least they are doing it together and with each other's knowledge and consent.
As for my hubby and I, we're not breaking that vow. When we married we got to choose our vows and omitted anything that mentioned staying faithful, forsaking others and keeping only unto each other |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Thing is giving people an informed choice. I'm married and state it in my profile. My wife does know that I'm on here, ideally I would like us to have a couples profile and lose this profile but it is not something that she wants.
Meets can be difficult for me, not because of telling my wife, but because of organising around my shifts, things the kids do and stuff we do together as a family.
I could put on my profile that I have permission but don't see much point. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Their are quite a few guys on here and women cheating on their partners some forumites to but they don't get hounded until they leave at least the guy was honest so people could make the choice about wether they met him "
Show me where they splash it all over the fora. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Their are quite a few guys on here and women cheating on their partners some forumites to but they don't get hounded until they leave at least the guy was honest so people could make the choice about wether they met him
Show me where they splash it all over the fora."
Probably means me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
How do all couples on here know that deep down their OH, that they persuaded to swing a good few years ago isn't uneasy with it all? I really dislike this judgemental attitude, especially from couples who openly play in front of their partners and then berate others about doing it, albeit behind their spouse's back. I don't see the difference, except one involves rubbing your partner's nose in it. If you and your partner did not discover swinging together ... and there was no persuasion involved, how do you really know they aren't doing it just to keep you happy and dying inside? Why are couples so judgemental ... it smacks of turning the spotlight on someone else so they aren't questioned. In real life, do you really think your relationship would be up to such scrutiny? Its perfect because you swing? Unlikely .... not aimed at anyone in particular and if you come across as a holier than thou couple, take it as being directed to you. If you want to use the green arrow, you'll see my perspective and experience .... although its been a while since I posted on it."
What a ridiculous statement !
So couples shouldn't berate a cheater because we are rubbing our partners nose in it by playing in front of them ?
I've heard it all now |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Their are quite a few guys on here and women cheating on their partners some forumites to but they don't get hounded until they leave at least the guy was honest so people could make the choice about wether they met him
Show me where they splash it all over the fora.
Probably means me "
You are discreet about it on here though. Honest, yes, but I've never seen you start a thread bragging about it, trying to justify it or blaming anyone else.
Those are the things which tend to attract the criticism. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Their are quite a few guys on here and women cheating on their partners some forumites to but they don't get hounded until they leave at least the guy was honest so people could make the choice about wether they met him
Show me where they splash it all over the fora. ???? What you asking their are forumites who admit they are married but havnt been hounded"
No, show me where they start threads bragging about it, trying to justify it or blaming someone else for it.
As long as they get on with it without making a fuss and drawing attention, they're mostly left alone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good morning all yes I know people already looking and going tut tut.im on here as have a higher sex drive than other half.problem is that I have spoken to some very sexy and fun people but finding it hard to get the time to meet up are there others like me out there ."
The day time fun T Shirt isn't a popular garment'.  |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"
And after all that I still don't get the point if this thread.
OP, are you looking for other people cheating or are you looking for advice on getting time away from your wife?
-Courtney
I never got an answer to my question. Maybe he'll answer from his next profile.
-Courtney "
From the FabS 'afterlife'?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Their are quite a few guys on here and women cheating on their partners some forumites to but they don't get hounded until they leave at least the guy was honest so people could make the choice about wether they met him
Show me where they splash it all over the fora.
Probably means me "
no I didn't mean you I didn't actually know you were married and playing away without hubbies knowledge |
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
How do all couples on here know that deep down their OH, that they persuaded to swing a good few years ago isn't uneasy with it all? I really dislike this judgemental attitude, especially from couples who openly play in front of their partners and then berate others about doing it, albeit behind their spouse's back. I don't see the difference, except one involves rubbing your partner's nose in it. If you and your partner did not discover swinging together ... and there was no persuasion involved, how do you really know they aren't doing it just to keep you happy and dying inside? Why are couples so judgemental ... it smacks of turning the spotlight on someone else so they aren't questioned. In real life, do you really think your relationship would be up to such scrutiny? Its perfect because you swing? Unlikely .... not aimed at anyone in particular and if you come across as a holier than thou couple, take it as being directed to you. If you want to use the green arrow, you'll see my perspective and experience .... although its been a while since I posted on it.
let's face it a lot of consenting marrieds are forgetting their own wedding vows. ... forsaking all others! (Sits back and awaits the abuse )"
Very brave, I said thus a while ago and got well and truly roasted ...,some very defensive couples here |
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
How do all couples on here know that deep down their OH, that they persuaded to swing a good few years ago isn't uneasy with it all? I really dislike this judgemental attitude, especially from couples who openly play in front of their partners and then berate others about doing it, albeit behind their spouse's back. I don't see the difference, except one involves rubbing your partner's nose in it. If you and your partner did not discover swinging together ... and there was no persuasion involved, how do you really know they aren't doing it just to keep you happy and dying inside? Why are couples so judgemental ... it smacks of turning the spotlight on someone else so they aren't questioned. In real life, do you really think your relationship would be up to such scrutiny? Its perfect because you swing? Unlikely .... not aimed at anyone in particular and if you come across as a holier than thou couple, take it as being directed to you. If you want to use the green arrow, you'll see my perspective and experience .... although its been a while since I posted on it.
What a ridiculous statement !
So couples shouldn't berate a cheater because we are rubbing our partners nose in it by playing in front of them ?
I've heard it all now "
Having seen. Number of swinging couples at clubs and parties where one of the partners is clearly very very uncomfortable, I have absolutely no double that for some of them, singing is a very painful experience, emotionally, and they are just doing it to please or keel their partner ... my point is, just because someone is a swinging couple, doesn't mean their marriage is perfect and they can judge anyone who is here without their partner. Second time in the thread one of my posts has resulted in 'I've heard/seen it all now'. I am part of a swinging couple, but I am honest ... I know that far from every swinging relationship is perfect, even if ours is .... that's life really. |
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
How do all couples on here know that deep down their OH, that they persuaded to swing a good few years ago isn't uneasy with it all? I really dislike this judgemental attitude, especially from couples who openly play in front of their partners and then berate others about doing it, albeit behind their spouse's back. I don't see the difference, except one involves rubbing your partner's nose in it. If you and your partner did not discover swinging together ... and there was no persuasion involved, how do you really know they aren't doing it just to keep you happy and dying inside? Why are couples so judgemental ... it smacks of turning the spotlight on someone else so they aren't questioned. In real life, do you really think your relationship would be up to such scrutiny? Its perfect because you swing? Unlikely .... not aimed at anyone in particular and if you come across as a holier than thou couple, take it as being directed to you. If you want to use the green arrow, you'll see my perspective and experience .... although its been a while since I posted on it.
What a ridiculous statement !
So couples shouldn't berate a cheater because we are rubbing our partners nose in it by playing in front of them ?
I've heard it all now
Having seen. Number of swinging couples at clubs and parties where one of the partners is clearly very very uncomfortable, I have absolutely no double that for some of them, singing is a very painful experience, emotionally, and they are just doing it to please or keel their partner ... my point is, just because someone is a swinging couple, doesn't mean their marriage is perfect and they can judge anyone who is here without their partner. Second time in the thread one of my posts has resulted in 'I've heard/seen it all now'. I am part of a swinging couple, but I am honest ... I know that far from every swinging relationship is perfect, even if ours is .... that's life really."
Yes I'm sure "singing" can be a very painful experience! Even if as u say, possibly through ur own experience, that sometimes one person in the couple only "sings" to please the other person, at least that is something that they are doing as a couple and not as something behind the others back!
P.S Jedwardo make singing painful |
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
How do all couples on here know that deep down their OH, that they persuaded to swing a good few years ago isn't uneasy with it all? I really dislike this judgemental attitude, especially from couples who openly play in front of their partners and then berate others about doing it, albeit behind their spouse's back. I don't see the difference, except one involves rubbing your partner's nose in it. If you and your partner did not discover swinging together ... and there was no persuasion involved, how do you really know they aren't doing it just to keep you happy and dying inside? Why are couples so judgemental ... it smacks of turning the spotlight on someone else so they aren't questioned. In real life, do you really think your relationship would be up to such scrutiny? Its perfect because you swing? Unlikely .... not aimed at anyone in particular and if you come across as a holier than thou couple, take it as being directed to you. If you want to use the green arrow, you'll see my perspective and experience .... although its been a while since I posted on it.
let's face it a lot of consenting marrieds are forgetting their own wedding vows. ... forsaking all others! (Sits back and awaits the abuse )
Very brave, I said thus a while ago and got well and truly roasted ...,some very defensive couples here"
Sure it's not the first time u have been well and truly "Roasted" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
How do all couples on here know that deep down their OH, that they persuaded to swing a good few years ago isn't uneasy with it all? I really dislike this judgemental attitude, especially from couples who openly play in front of their partners and then berate others about doing it, albeit behind their spouse's back. I don't see the difference, except one involves rubbing your partner's nose in it. If you and your partner did not discover swinging together ... and there was no persuasion involved, how do you really know they aren't doing it just to keep you happy and dying inside? Why are couples so judgemental ... it smacks of turning the spotlight on someone else so they aren't questioned. In real life, do you really think your relationship would be up to such scrutiny? Its perfect because you swing? Unlikely .... not aimed at anyone in particular and if you come across as a holier than thou couple, take it as being directed to you. If you want to use the green arrow, you'll see my perspective and experience .... although its been a while since I posted on it.
What a ridiculous statement !
So couples shouldn't berate a cheater because we are rubbing our partners nose in it by playing in front of them ?
I've heard it all now
Having seen. Number of swinging couples at clubs and parties where one of the partners is clearly very very uncomfortable, I have absolutely no double that for some of them, singing is a very painful experience, emotionally, and they are just doing it to please or keel their partner ... my point is, just because someone is a swinging couple, doesn't mean their marriage is perfect and they can judge anyone who is here without their partner. Second time in the thread one of my posts has resulted in 'I've heard/seen it all now'. I am part of a swinging couple, but I am honest ... I know that far from every swinging relationship is perfect, even if ours is .... that's life really."
I'm not saying every swinging partnership is perfect , far from it .
When we visited clubs some years ago , there was a certain reluctance on the part of one or the other partners in some cases . And this is what I believe you are talking about .
Notwithstanding this , at least there isn't a deception , and it's this which distinguishes the major difference between a cheat and a swinging couple .
If the unwilling partner is prepared to put up with a relationship which they are clearly unhappy with , ( involving swinging ) that's their choice . At least they have tat choice to make . A wife or a husband who doesn't know their partner is cheating on them doesn't have that choice .
Now don't get me wrong here as I know for a fact that many of those we have played with have been cheating , and it's not for us to judge . Nor do we judge those like the op who has now left the site . But to say a couple who swing are no better than a cheating partner is simply wrong . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
But if you are not sexy enough to turn on your wife, how do you expect to turn on strangers?
I know nothing of the OP and think the thread a bit misguided - but I think this is an unfair statement and quite wide of the mark in a lot of my experience. I'd also be amazed if a married woman would be addressed in the same way, certainly no one has (yet) accused me of it. "
Well said RubyWoo, this thread did start to wind me up with some of the comments.
Some people need to get it more, than make stupid comments. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
How do all couples on here know that deep down their OH, that they persuaded to swing a good few years ago isn't uneasy with it all? I really dislike this judgemental attitude, especially from couples who openly play in front of their partners and then berate others about doing it, albeit behind their spouse's back. I don't see the difference, except one involves rubbing your partner's nose in it. If you and your partner did not discover swinging together ... and there was no persuasion involved, how do you really know they aren't doing it just to keep you happy and dying inside? Why are couples so judgemental ... it smacks of turning the spotlight on someone else so they aren't questioned. In real life, do you really think your relationship would be up to such scrutiny? Its perfect because you swing? Unlikely .... not aimed at anyone in particular and if you come across as a holier than thou couple, take it as being directed to you. If you want to use the green arrow, you'll see my perspective and experience .... although its been a while since I posted on it.
let's face it a lot of consenting marrieds are forgetting their own wedding vows. ... forsaking all others! (Sits back and awaits the abuse )"
What a well said comment. I've seen some outrageous and frankly silly comments on this thread, but a lot of the couples on here, married, are doing the said same thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
How do all couples on here know that deep down their OH, that they persuaded to swing a good few years ago isn't uneasy with it all? I really dislike this judgemental attitude, especially from couples who openly play in front of their partners and then berate others about doing it, albeit behind their spouse's back. I don't see the difference, except one involves rubbing your partner's nose in it. If you and your partner did not discover swinging together ... and there was no persuasion involved, how do you really know they aren't doing it just to keep you happy and dying inside? Why are couples so judgemental ... it smacks of turning the spotlight on someone else so they aren't questioned. In real life, do you really think your relationship would be up to such scrutiny? Its perfect because you swing? Unlikely .... not aimed at anyone in particular and if you come across as a holier than thou couple, take it as being directed to you. If you want to use the green arrow, you'll see my perspective and experience .... although its been a while since I posted on it.
What a ridiculous statement !
So couples shouldn't berate a cheater because we are rubbing our partners nose in it by playing in front of them ?
I've heard it all now
Having seen. Number of swinging couples at clubs and parties where one of the partners is clearly very very uncomfortable, I have absolutely no double that for some of them, singing is a very painful experience, emotionally, and they are just doing it to please or keel their partner ... my point is, just because someone is a swinging couple, doesn't mean their marriage is perfect and they can judge anyone who is here without their partner. Second time in the thread one of my posts has resulted in 'I've heard/seen it all now'. I am part of a swinging couple, but I am honest ... I know that far from every swinging relationship is perfect, even if ours is .... that's life really.
I'm not saying every swinging partnership is perfect , far from it .
When we visited clubs some years ago , there was a certain reluctance on the part of one or the other partners in some cases . And this is what I believe you are talking about .
Notwithstanding this , at least there isn't a deception , and it's this which distinguishes the major difference between a cheat and a swinging couple .
If the unwilling partner is prepared to put up with a relationship which they are clearly unhappy with , ( involving swinging ) that's their choice . At least they have tat choice to make . A wife or a husband who doesn't know their partner is cheating on them doesn't have that choice .
Now don't get me wrong here as I know for a fact that many of those we have played with have been cheating , and it's not for us to judge . Nor do we judge those like the op who has now left the site . But to say a couple who swing are no better than a cheating partner is simply wrong ."
Agreed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
How do all couples on here know that deep down their OH, that they persuaded to swing a good few years ago isn't uneasy with it all? I really dislike this judgemental attitude, especially from couples who openly play in front of their partners and then berate others about doing it, albeit behind their spouse's back. I don't see the difference, except one involves rubbing your partner's nose in it. If you and your partner did not discover swinging together ... and there was no persuasion involved, how do you really know they aren't doing it just to keep you happy and dying inside? Why are couples so judgemental ... it smacks of turning the spotlight on someone else so they aren't questioned. In real life, do you really think your relationship would be up to such scrutiny? Its perfect because you swing? Unlikely .... not aimed at anyone in particular and if you come across as a holier than thou couple, take it as being directed to you. If you want to use the green arrow, you'll see my perspective and experience .... although its been a while since I posted on it.
let's face it a lot of consenting marrieds are forgetting their own wedding vows. ... forsaking all others! (Sits back and awaits the abuse )
What a well said comment. I've seen some outrageous and frankly silly comments on this thread, but a lot of the couples on here, married, are doing the said same thing. "
oh well all to late now he's gone pointless having a go at his morals in the moralistic world of swinging ,I wonder how many of us actually tell our family and friends we are on here but yet stand in judgement of unknown decisions that people make on here ,at least he was honest ,many people would surely have honesty      |
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
How do all couples on here know that deep down their OH, that they persuaded to swing a good few years ago isn't uneasy with it all? I really dislike this judgemental attitude, especially from couples who openly play in front of their partners and then berate others about doing it, albeit behind their spouse's back. I don't see the difference, except one involves rubbing your partner's nose in it. If you and your partner did not discover swinging together ... and there was no persuasion involved, how do you really know they aren't doing it just to keep you happy and dying inside? Why are couples so judgemental ... it smacks of turning the spotlight on someone else so they aren't questioned. In real life, do you really think your relationship would be up to such scrutiny? Its perfect because you swing? Unlikely .... not aimed at anyone in particular and if you come across as a holier than thou couple, take it as being directed to you. If you want to use the green arrow, you'll see my perspective and experience .... although its been a while since I posted on it.
let's face it a lot of consenting marrieds are forgetting their own wedding vows. ... forsaking all others! (Sits back and awaits the abuse )
Very brave, I said thus a while ago and got well and truly roasted ...,some very defensive couples here
Sure it's not the first time u have been well and truly "Roasted" "
We both came to being a couple through swinging, so no chance of one doing it to please the other. Just what I have seen out and about from established couples who have come into swinging. I have not been roasted, no, as I rarely play with men apart from my partner ... not my thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yep there's me... I can only usually meet up during the day but never find it a problem as plenty of others are in the same position. If you really want it you will make time for it.
So what if we are attached what we do is our business.
Just have fun life is too short
X"
Agreed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thing is giving people an informed choice. I'm married and state it in my profile. My wife does know that I'm on here, ideally I would like us to have a couples profile and lose this profile but it is not something that she wants.
Meets can be difficult for me, not because of telling my wife, but because of organising around my shifts, things the kids do and stuff we do together as a family.
I could put on my profile that I have permission but don't see much point."
I'm in a similar position with my wife but without the children.
Yes it has been hard on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
How do all couples on here know that deep down their OH, that they persuaded to swing a good few years ago isn't uneasy with it all? I really dislike this judgemental attitude, especially from couples who openly play in front of their partners and then berate others about doing it, albeit behind their spouse's back. I don't see the difference, except one involves rubbing your partner's nose in it. If you and your partner did not discover swinging together ... and there was no persuasion involved, how do you really know they aren't doing it just to keep you happy and dying inside? Why are couples so judgemental ... it smacks of turning the spotlight on someone else so they aren't questioned. In real life, do you really think your relationship would be up to such scrutiny? Its perfect because you swing? Unlikely .... not aimed at anyone in particular and if you come across as a holier than thou couple, take it as being directed to you. If you want to use the green arrow, you'll see my perspective and experience .... although its been a while since I posted on it.
What a ridiculous statement !
So couples shouldn't berate a cheater because we are rubbing our partners nose in it by playing in front of them ?
I've heard it all now
Having seen. Number of swinging couples at clubs and parties where one of the partners is clearly very very uncomfortable, I have absolutely no double that for some of them, singing is a very painful experience, emotionally, and they are just doing it to please or keel their partner ... my point is, just because someone is a swinging couple, doesn't mean their marriage is perfect and they can judge anyone who is here without their partner. Second time in the thread one of my posts has resulted in 'I've heard/seen it all now'. I am part of a swinging couple, but I am honest ... I know that far from every swinging relationship is perfect, even if ours is .... that's life really.
I'm not saying every swinging partnership is perfect , far from it .
When we visited clubs some years ago , there was a certain reluctance on the part of one or the other partners in some cases . And this is what I believe you are talking about .
Notwithstanding this , at least there isn't a deception , and it's this which distinguishes the major difference between a cheat and a swinging couple .
If the unwilling partner is prepared to put up with a relationship which they are clearly unhappy with , ( involving swinging ) that's their choice . At least they have tat choice to make . A wife or a husband who doesn't know their partner is cheating on them doesn't have that choice .
Now don't get me wrong here as I know for a fact that many of those we have played with have been cheating , and it's not for us to judge . Nor do we judge those like the op who has now left the site . But to say a couple who swing are no better than a cheating partner is simply wrong ."
In your eyes or swingers eyes but a lot of people might disagree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
How do all couples on here know that deep down their OH, that they persuaded to swing a good few years ago isn't uneasy with it all? I really dislike this judgemental attitude, especially from couples who openly play in front of their partners and then berate others about doing it, albeit behind their spouse's back. I don't see the difference, except one involves rubbing your partner's nose in it. If you and your partner did not discover swinging together ... and there was no persuasion involved, how do you really know they aren't doing it just to keep you happy and dying inside? Why are couples so judgemental ... it smacks of turning the spotlight on someone else so they aren't questioned. In real life, do you really think your relationship would be up to such scrutiny? Its perfect because you swing? Unlikely .... not aimed at anyone in particular and if you come across as a holier than thou couple, take it as being directed to you. If you want to use the green arrow, you'll see my perspective and experience .... although its been a while since I posted on it."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All he wanted was a chat with some kindred spirits. yes and he didn't get it "
May have done if he had been a she.....have seen more support offered to women who have posted similar threads. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All he wanted was a chat with some kindred spirits. yes and he didn't get it
May have done if he had been a she.....have seen more support offered to women who have posted similar threads."
That's because on here women are treated like down trodden,feeble souls with rotten husbands,who deserve to be cheated on. |
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"All he wanted was a chat with some kindred spirits. yes and he didn't get it
May have done if he had been a she.....have seen more support offered to women who have posted similar threads.
That's because on here women are treated like down trodden,feeble souls with rotten husbands,who deserve to be cheated on."
I had a friend whose husband had a lower sex drive than hers, she told everyone about it frequently. She eventually had an affair and loads of people congratulated her because apparently women need intimacy. It's a woman's world in some cases that's for sure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm married and have met females and couples some married women. The first line on my profile clearly says married if that's not your thing then read no further. Its tough on here to start but will improve. Tin hat on |
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"I'm married and have met females and couples some married women. The first line on my profile clearly says married if that's not your thing then read no further. Its tough on here to start but will improve. Tin hat on"
At least you used the correct "discreet"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All he wanted was a chat with some kindred spirits. "
No he didn't, he wanted us to pat him on the back look at his profile and give him suggestions on how to explain missing time to his wife.
Seldom works out when seeking others permission those that just go for it seem to get on ok. And of course women get an easier time, simple numbers game.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All he wanted was a chat with some kindred spirits. yes and he didn't get it
May have done if he had been a she.....have seen more support offered to women who have posted similar threads.
That's because on here women are treated like down trodden,feeble souls with rotten husbands,who deserve to be cheated on.
I had a friend whose husband had a lower sex drive than hers, she told everyone about it frequently. She eventually had an affair and loads of people congratulated her because apparently women need intimacy. It's a woman's world in some cases that's for sure."
  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm married and have met females and couples some married women. The first line on my profile clearly says married if that's not your thing then read no further. Its tough on here to start but will improve. Tin hat on"
No tin hat required.
Just goes to show it is achievable to meet as a married man, albeit a little bit harder at times.
Personally, I think it all comes down to the individual as to whether they succeed on here regardless of whether they are cheating or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No one ever did come back on why a married woman should expect to be able to turn on a stranger if she isn't sexy enough to turn on her husband. Funny that |
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"All he wanted was a chat with some kindred spirits. yes and he didn't get it
May have done if he had been a she.....have seen more support offered to women who have posted similar threads.
That's because on here women are treated like down trodden,feeble souls with rotten husbands,who deserve to be cheated on.
I had a friend whose husband had a lower sex drive than hers, she told everyone about it frequently. She eventually had an affair and loads of people congratulated her because apparently women need intimacy. It's a woman's world in some cases that's for sure.
"
I'm guessing back man's need for intimacy is just a great but he gets no sympathy |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"No one ever did come back on why a married woman should expect to be able to turn on a stranger if she isn't sexy enough to turn on her husband. Funny that "
I addressed the point.
My point was that the OP was behaving crappily when he blamed his wife.
I think in most cases of sexual incompatibility there is probably two sides to it and neither is entirely "at fault".
I'd think a woman complaining their husband doesn't want sex with them should consider it's possible it's partly down to them just as much as a man should.
It is far more often the men trying to blame their wives though than the other way around.
Also, I never expect to turn anyone on. I'm just happy when I do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No one ever did come back on why a married woman should expect to be able to turn on a stranger if she isn't sexy enough to turn on her husband. Funny that
I addressed the point.
My point was that the OP was behaving crappily when he blamed his wife.
I think in most cases of sexual incompatibility there is probably two sides to it and neither is entirely "at fault".
I'd think a woman complaining their husband doesn't want sex with them should consider it's possible it's partly down to them just as much as a man should.
It is far more often the men trying to blame their wives though than the other way around.
Also, I never expect to turn anyone on. I'm just happy when I do."
But the basic statement originally made (not by you) was: "But if you are not sexy enough to turn on your wife, how do you expect to turn on strangers?" This is an incredibly simplistic analysis of sex within a relationship and, as I said, completely wide of the mark when it comes to the married men I've met.
And no one has ever said that to me - but if it's the automatic reason why someone's partner doesn't want to have sex with them it should still apply, no?
I also didn't think stating incompatibility of sex drives equates to "blaming" or equating fault. The same sentence could be read as him blaming himself for his predicament for having a higher sex drive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Their are all sorts of reasons why married couples stop having sex eg the man spends his life down pub smoking and drinking beer bellied and unattractive the woman puts on weight and becomes unattractive to husband ,sex drive wasn't their in first place but if you think about sex and what makes it sexy ,its the excitement of seeing the other person get turned on by your first touch seeing her get naked ,kissing her its just new and exciting that's why many " swingers " I don't class myself as one ,move from one partner to another not even blinking it becomes soleless just an orgasm |
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"Their are all sorts of reasons why married couples stop having sex eg the man spends his life down pub smoking and drinking beer bellied and unattractive the woman puts on weight and becomes unattractive to husband ,sex drive wasn't their in first place but if you think about sex and what makes it sexy ,its the excitement of seeing the other person get turned on by your first touch seeing her get naked ,kissing her its just new and exciting that's why many " swingers " I don't class myself as one ,move from one partner to another not even blinking it becomes soleless just an orgasm "
You have hit the nail on the head with it being soulless. I do find it interesting that swinging couples can see that the swinging and the sex involved makes their marriage stronger, but this can't be the case if one partner does it. I an not trying to cause a ruckus, just genuinely interested. I mean, I know that any sex we have outside of our relationship is soulless, that is the attraction of it, nothing comes close, and that is why, for the moment at least, nothing is appealing to me on that level. If it ii's indeed soulless and not on the same level as anything one has with a spouse one truly loves, then how can it harm that relationship, which will be, at its core, something on a completely different level? Soulless sex is sometimes a good release and it keeps it separate from the sacred relationship .... I certainly dont think its all bad. |
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"Their are all sorts of reasons why married couples stop having sex eg the man spends his life down pub smoking and drinking beer bellied and unattractive the woman puts on weight and becomes unattractive to husband ,sex drive wasn't their in first place but if you think about sex and what makes it sexy ,its the excitement of seeing the other person get turned on by your first touch seeing her get naked ,kissing her its just new and exciting that's why many " swingers " I don't class myself as one ,move from one partner to another not even blinking it becomes soleless just an orgasm
You have hit the nail on the head with it being soulless. I do find it interesting that swinging couples can see that the swinging and the sex involved makes their marriage stronger, but this can't be the case if one partner does it. I an not trying to cause a ruckus, just genuinely interested. I mean, I know that any sex we have outside of our relationship is soulless, that is the attraction of it, nothing comes close, and that is why, for the moment at least, nothing is appealing to me on that level. If it ii's indeed soulless and not on the same level as anything one has with a spouse one truly loves, then how can it harm that relationship, which will be, at its core, something on a completely different level? Soulless sex is sometimes a good release and it keeps it separate from the sacred relationship .... I certainly dont think its all bad."
You make a good point and that's how I see it now, I didn't before. I think the problem is that we are conditioned to see sex as sacred, something that is only good when you love somebody or at least are in a relationship with them. I also think that lots of people involved in no strings sex find it difficult to accept that it is just sex, physical, no emotions sex, for their own peace of mind they need to invest it with some meaning. Of course the problems will start when one partner doesn't see it that way and I find it very distasteful when people discuss the unaware partner or try and blame them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sad that OP has been hounded off site. There are loads of men and women cheating on their partners on here.
I've seen quite a few and am not interested in their vanilla life as I don't expect their interest in mine.
Each to their own it's a swinging site, not a judge and jury.
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"Not going anywhere lol
Well as you can see these kind of threads bring out heated responses, even more so if you're not a woman
The best thing OP is to inform people of your marital status so they can chose to meet you or not & just crack on with it. If you can't find the time then maybe it's a sign that it's not meant to be.
This from me too!
There are plenty of married's on here who are here without their wife's/husband's knowledge or consent! I neither condone nor condemn - I just accept that it happens! X"
This to me just sums it all up.
There are people who will agree and disagree with people being swingers as well, so live life in your own lane and be prepared to face the consequences too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All he wanted was a chat with some kindred spirits.
No he didn't, he wanted us to pat him on the back look at his profile and give him suggestions on how to explain missing time to his wife.
Seldom works out when seeking others permission those that just go for it seem to get on ok. And of course women get an easier time, simple numbers game. "
He didn't want anything from "us" , nor did he want permission he wanted those in the same position to chat to.
How harsh and judgemental lots of fabbers are.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Their are all sorts of reasons why married couples stop having sex eg the man spends his life down pub smoking and drinking beer bellied and unattractive the woman puts on weight and becomes unattractive to husband ,sex drive wasn't their in first place but if you think about sex and what makes it sexy ,its the excitement of seeing the other person get turned on by your first touch seeing her get naked ,kissing her its just new and exciting that's why many " swingers " I don't class myself as one ,move from one partner to another not even blinking it becomes soleless just an orgasm
You have hit the nail on the head with it being soulless. I do find it interesting that swinging couples can see that the swinging and the sex involved makes their marriage stronger, but this can't be the case if one partner does it. I an not trying to cause a ruckus, just genuinely interested. I mean, I know that any sex we have outside of our relationship is soulless, that is the attraction of it, nothing comes close, and that is why, for the moment at least, nothing is appealing to me on that level. If it ii's indeed soulless and not on the same level as anything one has with a spouse one truly loves, then how can it harm that relationship, which will be, at its core, something on a completely different level? Soulless sex is sometimes a good release and it keeps it separate from the sacred relationship .... I certainly dont think its all bad."
no its not bad in anyway but not wholly satisfying either just a bodily function really but for some couples not all can harm their relationship ,it takes a hard person to remain totally without feeling on every meet |
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"Sad that OP has been hounded off site. There are loads of men and women cheating on their partners on here.
I've seen quite a few and am not interested in their vanilla life as I don't expect their interest in mine.
Each to their own it's a swinging site, not a judge and jury.
"
You're being very presumptious saying he was hounded off the site it was his decision no-one else's to delete his account. Maybe he has taken the right decision to discuss things with his wife rather than take this route. Surely he wouldn't let a few comments here hound him from the site! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sad that OP has been hounded off site. There are loads of men and women cheating on their partners on here.
I've seen quite a few and am not interested in their vanilla life as I don't expect their interest in mine.
Each to their own it's a swinging site, not a judge and jury.
You're being very presumptious saying he was hounded off the site it was his decision no-one else's to delete his account. Maybe he has taken the right decision to discuss things with his wife rather than take this route. Surely he wouldn't let a few comments here hound him from the site!"
I agree with this. He posted in a public forum and then decided to leave. I'm not turning him into a victim just because he went UNLOS.
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sad that OP has been hounded off site. There are loads of men and women cheating on their partners on here.
I've seen quite a few and am not interested in their vanilla life as I don't expect their interest in mine.
Each to their own it's a swinging site, not a judge and jury.
You're being very presumptious saying he was hounded off the site it was his decision no-one else's to delete his account. Maybe he has taken the right decision to discuss things with his wife rather than take this route. Surely he wouldn't let a few comments here hound him from the site!
I agree with this. He posted in a public forum and then decided to leave. I'm not turning him into a victim just because he went UNLOS.
-Courtney "
I wouldn't want to turn him into a victim either and I thought the thread misguided - but I also wouldn't be surprised if he returned with a new profile that doesn't disclose his marital status.
And then some woman will be along later on bemoaning the fact she's met someone from the site who didn't tell her he was married. And the same people will be along to proclaim how awful that is, what a rotter for not putting it on his profile, without ever thinking that maybe there could be a connection between these two regular forum habits.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sad that OP has been hounded off site. There are loads of men and women cheating on their partners on here.
I've seen quite a few and am not interested in their vanilla life as I don't expect their interest in mine.
Each to their own it's a swinging site, not a judge and jury.
You're being very presumptious saying he was hounded off the site it was his decision no-one else's to delete his account. Maybe he has taken the right decision to discuss things with his wife rather than take this route. Surely he wouldn't let a few comments here hound him from the site!
I agree with this. He posted in a public forum and then decided to leave. I'm not turning him into a victim just because he went UNLOS.
-Courtney
I wouldn't want to turn him into a victim either and I thought the thread misguided - but I also wouldn't be surprised if he returned with a new profile that doesn't disclose his marital status.
And then some woman will be along later on bemoaning the fact she's met someone from the site who didn't tell her he was married. And the same people will be along to proclaim how awful that is, what a rotter for not putting it on his profile, without ever thinking that maybe there could be a connection between these two regular forum habits.
"
Very true. Such is the nature of the site I suppose. People give their opinions. The consequences are often not considered.
Much like life actually. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People of fab are devoid of conventional morals and appear to be devoid of conscience to, the sanctity of marriage the vows etc mean nothing anymore its all about the orgasm sex rules ,think we are all bordering on a very thin line judging others and judging him ,he left because he realised his error in judgement but he was hounded ,if you are married and play away you can't possibly truly love your partner because that partner will be hurt when they find out , for me its the right of any person to do as they please but be accountable for your injustices to others |
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"People of fab are devoid of conventional morals and appear to be devoid of conscience to, the sanctity of marriage the vows etc mean nothing anymore its all about the orgasm sex rules ,think we are all bordering on a very thin line judging others and judging him ,he left because he realised his error in judgement but he was hounded ,if you are married and play away you can't possibly truly love your partner because that partner will be hurt when they find out , for me its the right of any person to do as they please but be accountable for your injustices to others "
Have you been taken over by someone else |
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"Wow OP hasn't left site yet
Why should he? Who is he harming here?
No one here but whose that person again, I forget her name.... ahhhh yes that's it HIS WIFE!!! Put yourself in hia wife's shoes and then say he is harming no one? Tricky to defend the indefensible isn't it really! Trying to justify by saying he has a higher sex drive than his wife is utterly bull as well.
I said here not no one. I'm not defending him or attacking him, I don't know him and neither do you. She might be secretly thankful that he's here. It might make the relationship stronger. Do you know? Or does it offend your sensibilities so much that you just feel the need to join the forum bullying pack?"
This. |
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"Good morning all yes I know people already looking and going tut tut.im on here as have a higher sex drive than other half.problem is that I have spoken to some very sexy and fun people but finding it hard to get the time to meet up are there others like me out there .
Why not just leave her and save her the heartbreak of finding out what your doing behind her back, not very nice of ya parading yourself on a thread about how you cant find time to sneak behind her back to shag other people..
this!
Let's have a guess how long it will be b4 OPs message says.. user no longer on site. "
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The issues in someone's private life are not anyone's concern but the people within that relationship.
How about we attempt to answer the questions posed rather than make judgements on circumstances we know nothing about? M
The OP didn't ask for relationship advice, he asked if anyone was in the same boat yet some of you feel it's acceptable to bully him off the site? Why is that acceptable? If you choose not to get involved with attached people that's your choice but it is absolutely not appropriate to bitch at someone asking a question because you don't agree with his or her behaviour.
Shameful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The issues in someone's private life are not anyone's concern but the people within that relationship.
How about we attempt to answer the questions posed rather than make judgements on circumstances we know nothing about? M
The OP didn't ask for relationship advice, he asked if anyone was in the same boat yet some of you feel it's acceptable to bully him off the site? Why is that acceptable? If you choose not to get involved with attached people that's your choice but it is absolutely not appropriate to bitch at someone asking a question because you don't agree with his or her behaviour.
Shameful."
Completely agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The issues in someone's private life are not anyone's concern but the people within that relationship.
How about we attempt to answer the questions posed rather than make judgements on circumstances we know nothing about? M
The OP didn't ask for relationship advice, he asked if anyone was in the same boat yet some of you feel it's acceptable to bully him off the site? Why is that acceptable? If you choose not to get involved with attached people that's your choice but it is absolutely not appropriate to bitch at someone asking a question because you don't agree with his or her behaviour.
Shameful."
Spot on , and it's about time someone said this .
It would be different if the op had asked what we thought about his situation , but he didn't .
We can all have our own thoughts on people's personal situations , but unless asked directly , those thoughts should be just that .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The issues in someone's private life are not anyone's concern but the people within that relationship.
How about we attempt to answer the questions posed rather than make judgements on circumstances we know nothing about? M
The OP didn't ask for relationship advice, he asked if anyone was in the same boat yet some of you feel it's acceptable to bully him off the site? Why is that acceptable? If you choose not to get involved with attached people that's your choice but it is absolutely not appropriate to bitch at someone asking a question because you don't agree with his or her behaviour.
Shameful."
Totally agree! I choose not to entertain married/attached people because I like things simple, personal experience has made me realise it's difficult to keep things simple with a person who is in a relationship........ Respect peoples choices and move on, no need to judge xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The issues in someone's private life are not anyone's concern but the people within that relationship.
How about we attempt to answer the questions posed rather than make judgements on circumstances we know nothing about? M
The OP didn't ask for relationship advice, he asked if anyone was in the same boat yet some of you feel it's acceptable to bully him off the site? Why is that acceptable? If you choose not to get involved with attached people that's your choice but it is absolutely not appropriate to bitch at someone asking a question because you don't agree with his or her behaviour.
Shameful.
Spot on , and it's about time someone said this .
It would be different if the op had asked what we thought about his situation , but he didn't .
We can all have our own thoughts on people's personal situations , but unless asked directly , those thoughts should be just that .
"
well kind of this ,we can air our thoughts as long as we don't get personal and aren't holier than though and as we all aren't perfect how should he be judged more than many others doing the same thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The issues in someone's private life are not anyone's concern but the people within that relationship.
How about we attempt to answer the questions posed rather than make judgements on circumstances we know nothing about? M
The OP didn't ask for relationship advice, he asked if anyone was in the same boat yet some of you feel it's acceptable to bully him off the site? Why is that acceptable? If you choose not to get involved with attached people that's your choice but it is absolutely not appropriate to bitch at someone asking a question because you don't agree with his or her behaviour.
Shameful."
I tend to agree with this. Its why I asked him the purpose of this thread (a cynical part of me wonders if he meant to cause this stir). But I still feel that people are going to say what they want on a public forum. You either have to be ready for that, or not post.
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People will say what they want on a forum. But I feel lots are almost asking a rhetorical question on such subjects? They're almost talking out loud in order to release all that frustration in their head of not being able to discuss that big secret.
Maybe realisation of their situation helps reflection and oddly enough healing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" People will say what they want on a forum. But I feel lots are almost asking a rhetorical question on such subjects? They're almost talking out loud in order to release all that frustration in their head of not being able to discuss that big secret.
Maybe realisation of their situation helps reflection and oddly enough healing."
Good point. |
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