FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Offended by hotlist
Offended by hotlist
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We politely mailed a couple and got back a message saying they had a load of couples they were about to play with and would put us on their hot list.
Hmm thinks us well Fab being Fab they might be in for a shock and they were losing us as guaranteed players. LOL They are on our list too now, the Block list.
L2 |
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"We politely mailed a couple and got back a message saying they had a load of couples they were about to play with and would put us on their hot list.
Hmm thinks us well Fab being Fab they might be in for a shock and they were losing us as guaranteed players. LOL They are on our list too now, the Block list.
L2"
I'm not sure it was meant with bad intentions, if I got on people's hotlist I'd see it as a compliment... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We politely mailed a couple and got back a message saying they had a load of couples they were about to play with and would put us on their hot list.
Hmm thinks us well Fab being Fab they might be in for a shock and they were losing us as guaranteed players. LOL They are on our list too now, the Block list.
L2"
Maybe they meant they were a little short of free time, but would add you to their hotlist for future meets? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not sure why you be offended by this either?
They said they had other couples they were planning on meeting and your profile says you are not currently meeting anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't get it. If they are already planning lots of meets what's wrong with saying they're too busy at the moment? I would assume the hotlist comment was just so they didn't lose track of you?
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would you have been equally offended for the people that they may have already planned to meet and been let down by them if they'd met you guys instead?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not sure why you be offended by this either?
They said they had other couples they were planning on meeting and your profile says you are not currently meeting anyway. " We thought that but did not want a timeout for nit picking peoples profiles...... |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"We politely mailed a couple and got back a message saying they had a load of couples they were about to play with and would put us on their hot list.
Hmm thinks us well Fab being Fab they might be in for a shock and they were losing us as guaranteed players. LOL They are on our list too now, the Block list.
L2"
I'd assume that it was meant as we have too much going on for now. We're interested just not at this time.
We've said similar plenty of time, its never been meant as an insult or to offend.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What?
What a ridiculous way of dealing with this situation. My free time is limited, kids, work etc. I have plenty of people on my hot list, and people who I intend to meet, when we have mutually agreeable opportunities. But if they got in a huff over me not prioritising them over someone else, I'd assume they weren't the kind of people I would want to meet anyways |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We politely mailed a couple and got back a message saying they had a load of couples they were about to play with and would put us on their hot list.
Hmm thinks us well Fab being Fab they might be in for a shock and they were losing us as guaranteed players. LOL They are on our list too now, the Block list.
L2"
My partner and I have come across your kind of attitude before. We get time to play about once a month or so, so we can already have (roughly) organised meets two or three months in advance.
Occasionally we've said 'look, we are interested but we're already made some arrangements with other people. Could we revisit in a few weeks and have a chat about what we might like to do?' and people get all offended and block us.
Seems weird to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Spoilt.. Petulant.. Child like... Impatient.. All words that spring to mind..
I have this all the time when I say I can't meet straight away.. The 'oh well I/we aren't waiting weeks' line.. Usually makes me block them though.. So I'm sure you have done them a favour
My hotlist and friends list is for people I want to meet... But can't straight away.. The hotlist being ones I want to meet first... Weird hey ..
You can't expect people to drop other people, just because you want their time first.. |
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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
I think it is very acceptable to say I am too busy just now but I will remember you in a few weeks. If you don't that's fine but I think the majority of couples on here plan out their play diary to allow for real world time as well as play times and they would have met you as they suggested.....we will never know now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We politely mailed a couple and got back a message saying they had a load of couples they were about to play with and would put us on their hot list.
Hmm thinks us well Fab being Fab they might be in for a shock and they were losing us as guaranteed players. LOL They are on our list too now, the Block list.
L2" its horrible to be one of many |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Spoilt.. Petulant.. Child like... Impatient.. All words that spring to mind..
I have this all the time when I say I can't meet straight away.. The 'oh well I/we aren't waiting weeks' line.. Usually makes me block them though.. So I'm sure you have done them a favour
My hotlist and friends list is for people I want to meet... But can't straight away.. The hotlist being ones I want to meet first... Weird hey ..
You can't expect people to drop other people, just because you want their time first.. "
Some people just think the rest of the world should jump for them as soon as they are ready for you , Ive known couple who you don't here from for ages ,but as soon as there in the mood you should drop your doing there and then and be ready for them and thankful ,it's crazy . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We politely mailed a couple and got back a message saying they had a load of couples they were about to play with and would put us on their hot list.
Hmm thinks us well Fab being Fab they might be in for a shock and they were losing us as guaranteed players. LOL They are on our list too now, the Block list.
L2"
Sounds like they had a lucky escape . |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
hmmmmm blocking them is harsh
I have lots of people on my hotlist that I want to met but I can't due to my own time and real life commitments. That's why i have a hotlist - (and to perv)
I try to regular keep in touch with them so they know that I am intrested but I don't have the time or money to meet them at present. These people are normally quiet good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Spoilt.. Petulant.. Child like... Impatient.. All words that spring to mind..
I have this all the time when I say I can't meet straight away.. The 'oh well I/we aren't waiting weeks' line.. Usually makes me block them though.. So I'm sure you have done them a favour
My hotlist and friends list is for people I want to meet... But can't straight away.. The hotlist being ones I want to meet first... Weird hey ..
You can't expect people to drop other people, just because you want their time first.. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Spoilt.. Petulant.. Child like... Impatient.. All words that spring to mind..
I have this all the time when I say I can't meet straight away.. The 'oh well I/we aren't waiting weeks' line.. Usually makes me block them though.. So I'm sure you have done them a favour
My hotlist and friends list is for people I want to meet... But can't straight away.. The hotlist being ones I want to meet first... Weird hey ..
You can't expect people to drop other people, just because you want their time first..
Some people just think the rest of the world should jump for them as soon as they are ready for you , Ive known couple who you don't here from for ages ,but as soon as there in the mood you should drop your doing there and then and be ready for them and thankful ,it's crazy . "
Single men get a bad rap on here... But you know what, couples are worse.. It's like a sense of entitlement.. And you should be grateful they have asked....at the moment I have couples blocked and not single men..... And this is one of the reasons why |
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"Spoilt.. Petulant.. Child like... Impatient.. All words that spring to mind..
I have this all the time when I say I can't meet straight away.. The 'oh well I/we aren't waiting weeks' line.. Usually makes me block them though.. So I'm sure you have done them a favour
My hotlist and friends list is for people I want to meet... But can't straight away.. The hotlist being ones I want to meet first... Weird hey ..
You can't expect people to drop other people, just because you want their time first.. " this is so true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Of all the flavours you could choose to be, you had to be salty.
Nope, not good enough that someone basically told you that they'd put you on their hotlist and arrange something for a future date. You think you're so hot and attractive and desirable that anyone you show attention to must drop everything and meet you as if you were their last best meet here on Fab ever.
People here complain about non-replies or deleted messages, and here you are posting such rubbish in the forum. With your atittude OP you two shouldn't be swinging. |
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"Spoilt.. Petulant.. Child like... Impatient.. All words that spring to mind..
I have this all the time when I say I can't meet straight away.. The 'oh well I/we aren't waiting weeks' line.. Usually makes me block them though.. So I'm sure you have done them a favour
My hotlist and friends list is for people I want to meet... But can't straight away.. The hotlist being ones I want to meet first... Weird hey ..
You can't expect people to drop other people, just because you want their time first.. "
Bang on this....
Time and circumstance make meeting more complicated, also all my most compatible people live in Timbuktu or some such place!
Oh and you're on my holist... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Spoilt.. Petulant.. Child like... Impatient.. All words that spring to mind..
I have this all the time when I say I can't meet straight away.. The 'oh well I/we aren't waiting weeks' line.. Usually makes me block them though.. So I'm sure you have done them a favour
My hotlist and friends list is for people I want to meet... But can't straight away.. The hotlist being ones I want to meet first... Weird hey ..
You can't expect people to drop other people, just because you want their time first..
Bang on this....
Time and circumstance make meeting more complicated, also all my most compatible people live in Timbuktu or some such place!
Oh and you're on my holist... "
You are still top of mine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"..... also all my most compatible people live in Timbuktu or some such place!
"
That should make Salisbury a doddle then
I've heard it all now....offended by being put on someone's hotlist...i wouldn't like to see the reaction to being blocked |
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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago
London |
"We politely mailed a couple and got back a message saying they had a load of couples they were about to play with and would put us on their hot list.
Hmm thinks us well Fab being Fab they might be in for a shock and they were losing us as guaranteed players. LOL They are on our list too now, the Block list.
L2"
I think you took that the wrong way
No one can drop all other meets to meet you first. From what you said about them, they were being polite and still considered you for a future meet. Maybe they were better off for it. Owww well move on then... |
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"Spoilt.. Petulant.. Child like... Impatient.. All words that spring to mind..
I have this all the time when I say I can't meet straight away.. The 'oh well I/we aren't waiting weeks' line.. Usually makes me block them though.. So I'm sure you have done them a favour
My hotlist and friends list is for people I want to meet... But can't straight away.. The hotlist being ones I want to meet first... Weird hey ..
You can't expect people to drop other people, just because you want their time first..
Bang on this....
Time and circumstance make meeting more complicated, also all my most compatible people live in Timbuktu or some such place!
Oh and you're on my holist...
You are still top of mine "
See that's what they are for... And I'm honoured to be anywhere on yours |
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"..... also all my most compatible people live in Timbuktu or some such place!
That should make Salisbury a doddle then
I've heard it all now....offended by being put on someone's hotlist...i wouldn't like to see the reaction to being blocked "
Yes there too!! And of cause my friend, you are on mine... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"..... also all my most compatible people live in Timbuktu or some such place!
That should make Salisbury a doddle then
I've heard it all now....offended by being put on someone's hotlist...i wouldn't like to see the reaction to being blocked
Yes there too!! And of cause my friend, you are on mine..."
You offend me sir |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe they meant they were a little short of free time, but would add you to their hotlist for future meets? "
Can couples not refuse either? I thought it was just the single fellas.
So this couple said "no thanks, not at the moment" out you on their hotlist to make sure they don't lose track of you when they delete messages and you block them?
And then YOU complain about them (and gleefully brag about blocking them) in the forums.
Did I get all that right? |
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We are amazed by your reaction to being placed on the other couple's 'Hotlist".
As other posters have pointed out, most of us have busy lives outside FAB. In fact YOUR own profile says you have a business to run, that you cannot drop everything and that your spare time is limited!
A well known phrase that includes cake springs to mind (although Mrs FF did say "arrogant tw*ts"). lol
Oh, by the way... We often visit Derbyshire and actually had you on our "Hotlist" with a view to getting to meet up with you guys...
You are not there anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We politely mailed a couple and got back a message saying they had a load of couples they were about to play with and would put us on their hot list.
Hmm thinks us well Fab being Fab they might be in for a shock and they were losing us as guaranteed players. LOL They are on our list too now, the Block list.
L2"
stick to your guns lovely
firm but fair is the way forward
am never wrong |
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By *odramafunCouple
over a year ago
Derbyshire/staffordshire |
Maybe an over reaction.... Least they were honest.... My partner always tells me to slow down as get chatting and he reminds me we can't meet lots and already plenty to arrange meets with... He prefers to say interested but just can't arrange anything at the mo x |
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"..... also all my most compatible people live in Timbuktu or some such place!
That should make Salisbury a doddle then
I've heard it all now....offended by being put on someone's hotlist...i wouldn't like to see the reaction to being blocked
Yes there too!! And of cause my friend, you are on mine...
You offend me sir "
Ha ha!! Well fuck all y'all!
I'm gonna be bigger than all y'alls!
I'm gonna be famous!
Then wait till you come running back!! |
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Well this thread didn't go the way the OP thought it would did it!
I could be wrong (pfft) but I have noticed a lot of this kind of bitter attitude from a lot of FABs older generation.
We all get rejections, every one of us, even the hottest single girls, and that wasn't even necessarily a rejection, maybe just what it said ....a yes but not right now. If everyone reacted that way to a rejection it wouldn't take long before everyone on FAB was blocked!
I think the OP needs stand back to get a better perspective. |
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"Well this thread didn't go the way the OP thought it would did it!
I could be wrong (pfft) but I have noticed a lot of this kind of bitter attitude from a lot of FABs older generation.
We all get rejections, every one of us, even the hottest single girls, and that wasn't even necessarily a rejection, maybe just what it said ....a yes but not right now. If everyone reacted that way to a rejection it wouldn't take long before everyone on FAB was blocked!
I think the OP needs stand back to get a better perspective."
It's an honour to go on a hotlist, if you step back and think about the thought process behind it, it means other human beings desire you...
When coming from people you desire, that should make you feel sexy...
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"Well this thread didn't go the way the OP thought it would did it!
I could be wrong (pfft) but I have noticed a lot of this kind of bitter attitude from a lot of FABs older generation.
We all get rejections, every one of us, even the hottest single girls, and that iwasn't even necessarily a rejection, maybe just what it said ....a yes but not right now. If everyone reacted that way to a rejection it wouldn't take long before everyone on FAB was blocked!
I think the OP needs stand back to get a better perspective. hey a lot of what we do here is based on ego you probably get yours massaged a 100 times a day they've had theirs knocked its a natural human response to feel the ensuing rejection "
No I do not get my ego massaged 100 times a day. I'm an overweight, middle aged woman, part of a couple - not single, who lives 400 - 500 miles away from most other members, just how many messages do you really think I get?
Their reaction was not normal, it was a petulant strop, and not befitting their age. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Spoilt.. Petulant.. Child like... Impatient.. All words that spring to mind..
I have this all the time when I say I can't meet straight away.. The 'oh well I/we aren't waiting weeks' line.. Usually makes me block them though.. So I'm sure you have done them a favour
My hotlist and friends list is for people I want to meet... But can't straight away.. The hotlist being ones I want to meet first... Weird hey ..
You can't expect people to drop other people, just because you want their time first..
Bang on this....
Time and circumstance make meeting more complicated, also all my most compatible people live in Timbuktu or some such place!
Oh and you're on my holist...
You are still top of mine
See that's what they are for... And I'm honoured to be anywhere on yours"
You should be, because you're the only one on it at the moment ...
Im also honoured and flattered to be on yours |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
We wouldn't have blocked, but would have moved on and if they came back to us in the future, just see it as a bonus. It's probably the way we would have handled it, if we were the couple you messaged, but unfortunately, we don't have any couples waiting to meet us , so doesn't apply to us! |
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"Spoilt.. Petulant.. Child like... Impatient.. All words that spring to mind..
I have this all the time when I say I can't meet straight away.. The 'oh well I/we aren't waiting weeks' line.. Usually makes me block them though.. So I'm sure you have done them a favour
My hotlist and friends list is for people I want to meet... But can't straight away.. The hotlist being ones I want to meet first... Weird hey ..
You can't expect people to drop other people, just because you want their time first..
Bang on this....
Time and circumstance make meeting more complicated, also all my most compatible people live in Timbuktu or some such place!
Oh and you're on my holist...
You are still top of mine
See that's what they are for... And I'm honoured to be anywhere on yours
You should be, because you're the only one on it at the moment ...
Im also honoured and flattered to be on yours "
I can't be!!
My ego is big enough already...
After talking to you, how could you not be, sometimes you click!
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Whoo... some reactions.
Our ego is pretty small thanks and the reality of Fab is that when it seems you have a lot going on it can evaporate over night. And does.
We had forgotten our profile was set for before we went on holiday and is now adjusted to reflect our current situation.
Interesting to read some of the comments, as in lucky escape? LOL ah bless the rudies eh?
L2 |
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Not everyone meets rapidly or frequently. If someone had told others they'll meet when they get time, it does seem honorable and respectful for them to stick to their plans.
We often just have to get over ourselves and self-focused expectations. If we have lots of choice then others taking their time isn't an issue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well this thread didn't go the way the OP thought it would did it!
I could be wrong (pfft) but I have noticed a lot of this kind of bitter attitude from a lot of FABs older generation.
We all get rejections, every one of us, even the hottest single girls, and that iwasn't even necessarily a rejection, maybe just what it said ....a yes but not right now. If everyone reacted that way to a rejection it wouldn't take long before everyone on FAB was blocked!
I think the OP needs stand back to get a better perspective. hey a lot of what we do here is based on ego you probably get yours massaged a 100 times a day they've had theirs knocked its a natural human response to feel the ensuing rejection
No I do not get my ego massaged 100 times a day. I'm an overweight, middle aged woman, part of a couple - not single, who lives 400 - 500 miles away from most other members, just how many messages do you really think I get?
Their reaction was not normal, it was a petulant strop, and not befitting their age." hey people get stroppy it happens and you look lovely in your avatar so one would imagine you get quite a few messages obviously 100 was an over zealous exaggeration nevertheless you love it do you not when you get what you think is a genuine compliment ,well that couples reaction was a genuine blow to their self esteem ,people block on here for lesser reasons than theirs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmm. Start of a Fab Civil War? Interesting to read the arguments for and against.
For the record, I am not judging anyone and would simply adore to find out I was on a hot list. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Spoilt.. Petulant.. Child like... Impatient.. All words that spring to mind..
I have this all the time when I say I can't meet straight away.. The 'oh well I/we aren't waiting weeks' line.. Usually makes me block them though.. So I'm sure you have done them a favour
My hotlist and friends list is for people I want to meet... But can't straight away.. The hotlist being ones I want to meet first... Weird hey ..
You can't expect people to drop other people, just because you want their time first..
Bang on this....
Time and circumstance make meeting more complicated, also all my most compatible people live in Timbuktu or some such place!
Oh and you're on my holist...
You are still top of mine
See that's what they are for... And I'm honoured to be anywhere on yours
You should be, because you're the only one on it at the moment ...
Im also honoured and flattered to be on yours
I can't be!!
My ego is big enough already...
After talking to you, how could you not be, sometimes you click!
"
You certainly are the only one.. Currently ... I agree.. Just hurry up and be free |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Whoo... some reactions.
Our ego is pretty small thanks and the reality of Fab is that when it seems you have a lot going on it can evaporate over night. And does.
We had forgotten our profile was set for before we went on holiday and is now adjusted to reflect our current situation.
Interesting to read some of the comments, as in lucky escape? LOL ah bless the rudies eh?
L2"
Your current situation says your not playing at the moment due to illness but are happy to make contacts for the future.
Isn't that what the couple who put you on their hotlist were doing or have I got the wrong impression? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We politely mailed a couple and got back a message saying they had a load of couples they were about to play with and would put us on their hot list.
Hmm thinks us well Fab being Fab they might be in for a shock and they were losing us as guaranteed players. LOL They are on our list too now, the Block list.
L2"
Haha if you take this as an insult you want to see what it's like as a single male, that reply would be a bonus lol
I'd suggest you may be a little to touchy!!! |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I might be missing something OP but I can't see that they did anything wrong. They were totally honest and upfront about their circumstances. Is it the fact they were busy and had meets already booked for their spare time in the near future that offended you? Or the fact they wouldn't let someone else down to meet you? In either case, as a casual observer only getting one side of the story I would suggest you overreacted and they were totally in the right. |
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"Whoo... some reactions.
Our ego is pretty small thanks and the reality of Fab is that when it seems you have a lot going on it can evaporate over night. And does.
We had forgotten our profile was set for before we went on holiday and is now adjusted to reflect our current situation.
Interesting to read some of the comments, as in lucky escape? LOL ah bless the rudies eh?
L2
Your current situation says your not playing at the moment due to illness but are happy to make contacts for the future.
Isn't that what the couple who put you on their hotlist were doing or have I got the wrong impression?"
If you've got the wrong impression you're not the only one, I agree it's essentially the same thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Single men get a bad rap on here... But you know what, couples are worse.. It's like a sense of entitlement.. And you should be grateful they have asked....at the moment I have couples blocked and not single men..... And this is one of the reasons why "
In my experience of about 5 weeks here, you're spot on.
I've been messsaged most politely by a few single blokes, I've messaged (very politely) single women and couples. I have, most of the time, had no reply. Those replies I have had have mostly been very nice.
But the only rude reply has been from a couple. You'd think I'd insulted their offspring the way he ranted on.
Oh well...! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hmm, bit short sighted there, if the couple are popular, you're expecting them to drop everything just for you? You better be worth it and then some. Narrow minded, but that's just my opinion. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"
Single men get a bad rap on here... But you know what, couples are worse.. It's like a sense of entitlement.. And you should be grateful they have asked....at the moment I have couples blocked and not single men..... And this is one of the reasons why
In my experience of about 5 weeks here, you're spot on.
I've been messsaged most politely by a few single blokes, I've messaged (very politely) single women and couples. I have, most of the time, had no reply. Those replies I have had have mostly been very nice.
But the only rude reply has been from a couple. You'd think I'd insulted their offspring the way he ranted on.
Oh well...! "
There are good and bad apples in all groups.
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We waited 3 years to play with a couple on here, various things kept getting in the way, they couldn't, or we couldn't.....so we just kept in touch and then one night it all clicked and.... well, lets just say we were glad we'd stayed in touch lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We politely mailed a couple and got back a message saying they had a load of couples they were about to play with and would put us on their hot list.
Hmm thinks us well Fab being Fab they might be in for a shock and they were losing us as guaranteed players. LOL They are on our list too now, the Block list.
L2"
Loads of couples they were about to play with. Now that's just showing off!! It's like kicking a guy in the bollocks when he's already down. It's good to know some people have it on tap. Spare a thought for the Others who are not so fortunate |
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