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Asking permission to touch
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I don't get what goes through people's minds sometimes. 
-Courtney | |||
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"As a womn i just wanted to put it out that when some of us ladies go to a club with our other half some of us would rather you ask us & not our partners if its okay to touch. Really gets on my tits. I am not my partners pet on a leashe. Last time at chams a real nice man had a nice chat with Mr _d40 & asked if he could touch me! Well as much as i had fancied playtime that eliminated any chances he had. Same as in the jacuzzi. Talk to us before you grope! Rant over Mrs _d40 x" It's still a big step up from the guys that substitute conversation for staring at your wife and then go ahead and touch anyway. The reason we don't go to AbFabs on a Friday anymore. | |||
"As a womn i just wanted to put it out that when some of us ladies go to a club with our other half some of us would rather you ask us & not our partners if its okay to touch. Really gets on my tits. I am not my partners pet on a leashe. Last time at chams a real nice man had a nice chat with Mr _d40 & asked if he could touch me! Well as much as i had fancied playtime that eliminated any chances he had. Same as in the jacuzzi. Talk to us before you grope! Rant over Mrs _d40 x" well i aint just saying this to suck arse or score points or anything , folk either take me as they find me or they dont take me at all as far as im concerned might not get me alot of meets but im sure it should get me the right ones, i aint that sexually deprived that ad stick it in just anyone etc
aint never been to a club party or meet ( meet thats been arranged on fab ) but i know for a fact i would only be asking permission off the woman , noone can own it but that person | |||
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"I don't care whether they ask me or Marc. But in a club the other day I had a woman I had just met offer me and my ass up to a guy and his partner without even asking me or Marc.
I don't get what goes through people's minds sometimes.
-Courtney "To be fair your Ass is exquisite Courtney    | |||
"Reading this just makes me even more nervous about going to my first club "Theees nothin really to be nervous of dude..clubs are friendly places in as much as the vets know that newbies must be nervy and so are extra courteous and welcoming. The club i go to is nonpushy..and of course u dont have to play..just enjoy a few drinks and socialising..see it as bein in a bar or such..sex wud be a massive bonus in such a situation..so just dont expect tok much and you'l be fine as rain. | |||
"I don't care whether they ask me or Marc. But in a club the other day I had a woman I had just met offer me and my ass up to a guy and his partner without even asking me or Marc.
I don't get what goes through people's minds sometimes.
-Courtney
To be fair your Ass is exquisite Courtney "Cheers | |||
"As a womn i just wanted to put it out that when some of us ladies go to a club with our other half some of us would rather you ask us & not our partners if its okay to touch. Really gets on my tits. I am not my partners pet on a leashe. Last time at chams a real nice man had a nice chat with Mr _d40 & asked if he could touch me! Well as much as i had fancied playtime that eliminated any chances he had. Same as in the jacuzzi. Talk to us before you grope! Rant over Mrs _d40 x" How dare he! He should be castrated at once! Seriously though, I'd ask the man too. If anyone wants to know why, pm me. I'm not saying why on here because I'd be burnt alive. Haha! | |||
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"the vets know that newbies must be nervy and so are extra courteous and welcoming." Judging from this thread, it's not looking that way  | |||
"the vets know that newbies must be nervy and so are extra courteous and welcoming. Judging from this thread, it's not looking that way "If in doubt, ask both and you'll be fine | |||
"the vets know that newbies must be nervy and so are extra courteous and welcoming. Judging from this thread, it's not looking that way
If in doubt, ask both and you'll be fine "Thats it yeah, have a smile on ya face and project that you are merely being respectful of both partners without asking the guy like he is in charge of her et al..all will be well..just make loads of eye contact with the lady while chatting with both and then just ask her..simples. works for me.. | |||
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"I'm crap at asking for stuff tbh. Always have been. I just get that "don't want to impose" feeling and give up before even trying "I know, i was nervous as hell my first club nite..but u may well find if you keep your eyes open you will notice a lady gazing at you at some point during tbe evening..linger on her look..and then a little while later chat to the couple..its all likely to happen at that point. | |||
"As a womn i just wanted to put it out that when some of us ladies go to a club with our other half some of us would rather you ask us & not our partners if its okay to touch. Really gets on my tits. I am not my partners pet on a leashe. Last time at chams a real nice man had a nice chat with Mr _d40 & asked if he could touch me! Well as much as i had fancied playtime that eliminated any chances he had. Same as in the jacuzzi. Talk to us before you grope! Rant over Mrs _d40 x How dare he! He should be castrated at once! Seriously though, I'd ask the man too. If anyone wants to know why, pm me. I'm not saying why on here because I'd be burnt alive. Haha!" At least talk to me & have eye contact. I am nobodys possession... Mrs _d40 | |||
"I'm crap at asking for stuff tbh. Always have been. I just get that "don't want to impose" feeling and give up before even trying
I know, i was nervous as hell my first club nite..but u may well find if you keep your eyes open you will notice a lady gazing at you at some point during tbe evening..linger on her look..and then a little while later chat to the couple..its all likely to happen at that point. ". Spot on | |||
"I'm crap at asking for stuff tbh. Always have been. I just get that "don't want to impose" feeling and give up before even trying
I know, i was nervous as hell my first club nite..but u may well find if you keep your eyes open you will notice a lady gazing at you at some point during tbe evening..linger on her look..and then a little while later chat to the couple..its all likely to happen at that point. . Spot on" | |||
"As a womn i just wanted to put it out that when some of us ladies go to a club with our other half some of us would rather you ask us & not our partners if its okay to touch. Really gets on my tits. I am not my partners pet on a leashe. Last time at chams a real nice man had a nice chat with Mr _d40 & asked if he could touch me! Well as much as i had fancied playtime that eliminated any chances he had. Same as in the jacuzzi. Talk to us before you grope! Rant over Mrs _d40 x How dare he! He should be castrated at once! Seriously though, I'd ask the man too. If anyone wants to know why, pm me. I'm not saying why on here because I'd be burnt alive. Haha! At least talk to me & have eye contact. I am nobodys possession... Mrs _d40" Oh yes! Talk to you and have eye contact. Ofcourse! Xxx | |||
"What I usually say is "would either of you mind" otherwise it's like asking for a proposal with a multi step asking process " | |||
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" I know, i was nervous as hell my first club nite..but u may well find if you keep your eyes open you will notice a lady gazing at you at some point during tbe evening..linger on her look..and then a little while later chat to the couple..its all likely to happen at that point. "Fair enough, yeah you're right | |||
" I know, i was nervous as hell my first club nite..but u may well find if you keep your eyes open you will notice a lady gazing at you at some point during tbe evening..linger on her look..and then a little while later chat to the couple..its all likely to happen at that point.
Fair enough, yeah you're right " Go for it dude..as long as you are happy and respectful and friendly..all will come good..a faint heart won nothing dude.. good luck..wen youve been, start a thread about how your first nite went and how did it compare to others' first nites..you will be pleasantly surprised at the similar experience responses. | |||
"I don't care whether they ask me or Marc. But in a club the other day I had a woman I had just met offer me and my ass up to a guy and his partner without even asking me or Marc.
I don't get what goes through people's minds sometimes.
-Courtney "Well, your ass does look amazing. I know its not the point but it is a beautiful behind, Courtney | |||
" start a thread about how your first nite went and how did it compare to others' first nites..you will be pleasantly surprised at the similar experience responses. "Well I'm not one for making threads about myself, but I'll talk about it to the various people on here I've got to know a bit | |||
" start a thread about how your first nite went and how did it compare to others' first nites..you will be pleasantly surprised at the similar experience responses.
Well I'm not one for making threads about myself, but I'll talk about it to the various people on here I've got to know a bit "Thats fair comment, yeah. I hope you hav a really good time wen u go mate. | |||
"the vets know that newbies must be nervy and so are extra courteous and welcoming. Judging from this thread, it's not looking that way
If in doubt, ask both and you'll be fine
Thats it yeah, have a smile on ya face and project that you are merely being respectful of both partners without asking the guy like he is in charge of her et al..all will be well..just make loads of eye contact with the lady while chatting with both and then just ask her..simples. works for me.. "Perfect way to do it. Newbies needn't be afraid. Just remember when you go normal clubbing, you ask the lady if she wants to dance before grabbing a sneaky grope of her ass
Mrs WD40 | |||
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At chams the other week we were playing in the cinema and a guy laid his hand on N's leg and went by her reaction. We liked this as it was polite and still not as formal as to break up the flow
B | |||
"As a womn i just wanted to put it out that when some of us ladies go to a club with our other half some of us would rather you ask us & not our partners if its okay to touch. Really gets on my tits. I am not my partners pet on a leashe. Last time at chams a real nice man had a nice chat with Mr _d40 & asked if he could touch me! Well as much as i had fancied playtime that eliminated any chances he had. Same as in the jacuzzi. Talk to us before you grope! Rant over Mrs _d40 x How dare he! He should be castrated at once! Seriously though, I'd ask the man too. If anyone wants to know why, pm me. I'm not saying why on here because I'd be burnt alive. Haha! At least talk to me & have eye contact. I am nobodys possession... Mrs _d40 Oh yes! Talk to you and have eye contact. Ofcourse! Xxx" Well you can look at my cleavage too if you want | |||
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"If someone asks the person I am with rather than me, then it simply ensures that we wouldn't play with them (other than some very specific fetish club situations). I am not anyone elses property. Nobody but me gets to decide what happens with my body. And if someone wants to play with both of us, then they must ask both of us." The fetish thing is the exception I thought of after posting. If I were to be walking N round under my control then it could be different, otherwise I'd just politely tell them it wasn't my choice and to ask themselves. B | |||
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"I personally like to ask both simultaneously but i see it as a turn off to ask a lady having fun if you can touch her which is why I tend to ask the guy "does she mind being touched while playing". It all depends on the scenerio." It's not a turn off. It's a turn on to be asked if you consent. If it was a single lady, would you just not bother asking? Or just not play because there was no guy to ask? | |||
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"Apart from one club party where the single chaps clearly hadn't been briefed correctly I've always appreciated the fact that men ask and I don't much mind whether they ask me or the FB. However on a recent club night with one of my fave wing chicks, we were more than a little taken aback by the number of women who just went straight in for a fumble without asking or even saying hello whilst we were playing. Is it one rule for one and another for the other? I'd never dream of piling in without asking first. " Yes! I find that women are far more likely to touch without asking than men. I can't stand it. And in my experience, its usually women who are part of a couple
-Courtney | |||
"Never in my life have I asked to touch or been asked... It's lame, you know or you don't, otherwise it's simply unnatural... I'm not particularly tactile with people I don't know anyway and have massive personal space, so when it happens it's based on mutual attraction... But I suppose it's all based upon personal style..." Personal style is certainly one word for it. When playing with strangers, especially at a club, I prefer verbal consent. I always ask if I can touch first, I'd never touch a stranger in a club without asking if I could. I can't tell if someone wants me to touch them unless I have asked them. | |||
"Never in my life have I asked to touch or been asked... It's lame, you know or you don't, otherwise it's simply unnatural... I'm not particularly tactile with people I don't know anyway and have massive personal space, so when it happens it's based on mutual attraction... But I suppose it's all based upon personal style... Personal style is certainly one word for it. When playing with strangers, especially at a club, I prefer verbal consent. I always ask if I can touch first, I'd never touch a stranger in a club without asking if I could. I can't tell if someone wants me to touch them unless I have asked them." | |||
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"As a womn i just wanted to put it out that when some of us ladies go to a club with our other half some of us would rather you ask us & not our partners if its okay to touch. Really gets on my tits. I am not my partners pet on a leashe. Last time at chams a real nice man had a nice chat with Mr _d40 & asked if he could touch me! Well as much as i had fancied playtime that eliminated any chances he had. Same as in the jacuzzi. Talk to us before you grope! Rant over Mrs _d40 x" men wear the trousers and all that I guess some are a little old fashioned not always a bad thing imo | |||
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"Never in my life have I asked to touch or been asked... It's lame, you know or you don't, otherwise it's simply unnatural... I'm not particularly tactile with people I don't know anyway and have massive personal space, so when it happens it's based on mutual attraction... But I suppose it's all based upon personal style... Personal style is certainly one word for it. When playing with strangers, especially at a club, I prefer verbal consent. I always ask if I can touch first, I'd never touch a stranger in a club without asking if I could. I can't tell if someone wants me to touch them unless I have asked them." It's fickle.... If someone asked me, they would get a no 100% of the time, it would make me sick in my mouth... At the same time I would never join in or reach out in any way to touch someone else, unless they are made of gold! Either we are magnetised towards each other or not, this I know means I will not touch 99% of people in a club or anywhere for that matter, but the few I do will be electrifying... | |||
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"Never in my life have I asked to touch or been asked... It's lame, you know or you don't, otherwise it's simply unnatural... I'm not particularly tactile with people I don't know anyway and have massive personal space, so when it happens it's based on mutual attraction... But I suppose it's all based upon personal style... Personal style is certainly one word for it. When playing with strangers, especially at a club, I prefer verbal consent. I always ask if I can touch first, I'd never touch a stranger in a club without asking if I could. I can't tell if someone wants me to touch them unless I have asked them. It's fickle.... If someone asked me, they would get a no 100% of the time, it would make me sick in my mouth... At the same time I would never join in or reach out in any way to touch someone else, unless they are made of gold! Either we are magnetised towards each other or not, this I know means I will not touch 99% of people in a club or anywhere for that matter, but the few I do will be electrifying..." That's fair enough. I guess I'm just a bit more ballsy. If I find someone sexually attractive I just ask them if they want to play. If they say no, it's no skin off my nose. | |||
"I personally like to ask both simultaneously but i see it as a turn off to ask a lady having fun if you can touch her which is why I tend to ask the guy "does she mind being touched while playing". It all depends on the scenerio. It's not a turn off. It's a turn on to be asked if you consent. If it was a single lady, would you just not bother asking? Or just not play because there was no guy to ask?" That's hard to prove as I've seen some lady give a guy bad eye when he asked her as it maybe put her off. Some like being asked, some like their man having the last say. It's more like 50-50. As for a single girl, I honestly let the guy have fun and just watch from an angle. Throw in one or two funny phrases to get their attention and her reaction will definitely let me know if she's in the mood to be asked for permission or not. | |||
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"Thing is, A LOT of couples play where the female is all playing and the guy watches, invites others to play etc, usually a hot wife scenario.. He is the "Play Guardian!" as we call it. You can see why people ask the guy of the couple. Of course, as another guy has pointed out, it's all about the scenario. We dont care either way - so long as they ask!! I will say no to any guy i dont like the look/sound of, and will refer them to Anya for the ultimate decision if i think they are ok. Different strokes, for different folks.. as they say. " | |||
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"Apart from one club party where the single chaps clearly hadn't been briefed correctly I've always appreciated the fact that men ask and I don't much mind whether they ask me or the FB. However on a recent club night with one of my fave wing chicks, we were more than a little taken aback by the number of women who just went straight in for a fumble without asking or even saying hello whilst we were playing. Is it one rule for one and another for the other? I'd never dream of piling in without asking first. " Who run the world!!!!! GIRLSSSSSSSSS I've seen this happen loads of times, I just imagine maybe they've played before or know each other very well as the ones being touched/ licked by the other lady never complains. | |||
"Never in my life have I asked to touch or been asked... It's lame, you know or you don't, otherwise it's simply unnatural... I'm not particularly tactile with people I don't know anyway and have massive personal space, so when it happens it's based on mutual attraction... But I suppose it's all based upon personal style... Personal style is certainly one word for it. When playing with strangers, especially at a club, I prefer verbal consent. I always ask if I can touch first, I'd never touch a stranger in a club without asking if I could. I can't tell if someone wants me to touch them unless I have asked them. It's fickle.... If someone asked me, they would get a no 100% of the time, it would make me sick in my mouth... At the same time I would never join in or reach out in any way to touch someone else, unless they are made of gold! Either we are magnetised towards each other or not, this I know means I will not touch 99% of people in a club or anywhere for that matter, but the few I do will be electrifying... That's fair enough. I guess I'm just a bit more ballsy. If I find someone sexually attractive I just ask them if they want to play. If they say no, it's no skin off my nose." For me there is no possible way I would of found them sexually attractive if I didn't get a good feel for their personality first... There a hundreds of attractive people who wander round year after year, a fair few will catch your eye... But none are attractive enough to motivate me to act... That part of attraction will only come from their persona... | |||
"Apart from one club party where the single chaps clearly hadn't been briefed correctly I've always appreciated the fact that men ask and I don't much mind whether they ask me or the FB. However on a recent club night with one of my fave wing chicks, we were more than a little taken aback by the number of women who just went straight in for a fumble without asking or even saying hello whilst we were playing. Is it one rule for one and another for the other? I'd never dream of piling in without asking first. Yes! I find that women are far more likely to touch without asking than men. I can't stand it. And in my experience, its usually women who are part of a couple
-Courtney"Yup, all were in couples. Most perplexing. Not to mention more than a tad irksome. | |||
"It must be so hard been a single man, don't ignore the man of the couple but also don't ask him for permission, it is a bloody minefield, I would say the easiest way is to ask both at the same time, Mrs l wouldn't play with a man without me agreeing to it, and vice versa, so guess ask both at the same time then nobody is annoyed" I agree ask both however my partner does not need my permission to play & vice versa. If we are together at the time he just kisses me & says see you in a while. The only time consent is needed is if its a couple wanting to play or if we had a social & he wants to know if i am interested We all have our rules & we need them to make the lifestyle work. Mrs _d40 | |||
"Never in my life have I asked to touch or been asked... It's lame, you know or you don't, otherwise it's simply unnatural... I'm not particularly tactile with people I don't know anyway and have massive personal space, so when it happens it's based on mutual attraction... But I suppose it's all based upon personal style... Personal style is certainly one word for it. When playing with strangers, especially at a club, I prefer verbal consent. I always ask if I can touch first, I'd never touch a stranger in a club without asking if I could. I can't tell if someone wants me to touch them unless I have asked them. It's fickle.... If someone asked me, they would get a no 100% of the time, it would make me sick in my mouth... At the same time I would never join in or reach out in any way to touch someone else, unless they are made of gold! Either we are magnetised towards each other or not, this I know means I will not touch 99% of people in a club or anywhere for that matter, but the few I do will be electrifying... That's fair enough. I guess I'm just a bit more ballsy. If I find someone sexually attractive I just ask them if they want to play. If they say no, it's no skin off my nose. For me there is no possible way I would of found them sexually attractive if I didn't get a good feel for their personality first... There a hundreds of attractive people who wander round year after year, a fair few will catch your eye... But none are attractive enough to motivate me to act... That part of attraction will only come from their persona..." Yeah I normally talk to them first. Then after chatting for a while if I'm sexually attracted to them (their looks and personality) then I say 'would you like to play?' and then we'll decide what we'd like to roughly do, and then get on with it. I wouldn't play with someone who just moved in to touch without asking if I wanted to, it would be a serious breech of consent for me. No verbal permission - no playing. | |||
"This boils down to basic manners - you should ask both. However, if you chat to a couple and you have to ask after chatting, then it means there is no vibe or chemistry. Because if there really is, it would be natural and no one would need to ask. But manners maketh the man and woman and failing chemistry, manners should always be constant. " I concur... But failing chemistry is an instant red flag for me... I start to get the feeling I would be wasting a couple of hours of my life, just going through the motions... | |||
"This boils down to basic manners - you should ask both. However, if you chat to a couple and you have to ask after chatting, then it means there is no vibe or chemistry. Because if there really is, it would be natural and no one would need to ask. But manners maketh the man and woman and failing chemistry, manners should always be constant. I concur... But failing chemistry is an instant red flag for me... I start to get the feeling I would be wasting a couple of hours of my life, just going through the motions..." Checking consent is no indication of a lack of chemistry. I check consent before I start playing physically with my partner of almost four years. | |||
"This boils down to basic manners - you should ask both. However, if you chat to a couple and you have to ask after chatting, then it means there is no vibe or chemistry. Because if there really is, it would be natural and no one would need to ask. But manners maketh the man and woman and failing chemistry, manners should always be constant. I concur... But failing chemistry is an instant red flag for me... I start to get the feeling I would be wasting a couple of hours of my life, just going through the motions..." If we had chemistry and both felt it would it be ok to stick my finger up your bum,or should I ask first? | |||
"This boils down to basic manners - you should ask both. However, if you chat to a couple and you have to ask after chatting, then it means there is no vibe or chemistry. Because if there really is, it would be natural and no one would need to ask. But manners maketh the man and woman and failing chemistry, manners should always be constant. I concur... But failing chemistry is an instant red flag for me... I start to get the feeling I would be wasting a couple of hours of my life, just going through the motions... If we had chemistry and both felt it would it be ok to stick my finger up your bum,or should I ask first? "Ok... I hate hypotheticals, because they always defend into the ridiculous... If I asked you if you'd like to play, you said yes, then I spat in your mouth would that be ok? People test first, they test, then test again then the take action... | |||
"This boils down to basic manners - you should ask both. However, if you chat to a couple and you have to ask after chatting, then it means there is no vibe or chemistry. Because if there really is, it would be natural and no one would need to ask. But manners maketh the man and woman and failing chemistry, manners should always be constant. I concur... But failing chemistry is an instant red flag for me... I start to get the feeling I would be wasting a couple of hours of my life, just going through the motions... If we had chemistry and both felt it would it be ok to stick my finger up your bum,or should I ask first?
Ok... I hate hypotheticals, because they always defend into the ridiculous...
If I asked you if you'd like to play, you said yes, then I spat in your mouth would that be ok?
People test first, they test, then test again then the take action...
""Would you like to play?" "Yes actually, I would. What kind of thing would you like to do?" "Well I was thinking about maybe a bit of bondage with cuffs, then perhaps we could move onto some anal sex and some humiliation." "What kind of humiliation did you have in mind?" "I really like spitting in mouths, is that ok with you?" "Sure, lets do it." | |||
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"Now you see that's perfect communication... And I engage in it all the time, it works to say what you like without fear of being judged... But no one who says or wants me to say, "would you like to play?", would I be getting into that type of conversation with... We would of had it in the pub, over dinner, in simple conversation, while warming down the street or shopping in tescos! (Other supermarkets are available)." I'm just really curious why it would be such a turn off to ask someone if they want to play with you. Like, is it because of a fear of rejection? Is it just not something that 'alphas' do? Is it just because you struggle to communicate? No judgement - just curious as to why you'd rather touch someone without asking if they're ok with it when they might shove you off with a 'no thank you'. | |||
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"Now you see that's perfect communication... And I engage in it all the time, it works to say what you like without fear of being judged... But no one who says or wants me to say, "would you like to play?", would I be getting into that type of conversation with... We would of had it in the pub, over dinner, in simple conversation, while warming down the street or shopping in tescos! (Other supermarkets are available). I'm just really curious why it would be such a turn off to ask someone if they want to play with you. Like, is it because of a fear of rejection? Is it just not something that 'alphas' do? Is it just because you struggle to communicate? No judgement - just curious as to why you'd rather touch someone without asking if they're ok with it when they might shove you off with a 'no thank you'." I find it unnatural, it feels a little too much like begging... I wouldn't like to be asked either... I have never had to ask, nor have I been asked, ever! I expect them to be 100% sure as I would be before even the slightest move occurred, otherwise, nothing. | |||
"I find it comical if they ask me, not wiggles. Even dafter when they offer to "fuck her like she has never had it before" Wiggles plays with who she wishes, though it is preferred that men wishing to do so don't totally blank me. Our other pet hate is the, in a room playing and some guy, who hasn't even spoken to us at bar (or ignored us) pipes up with "can I join in". Answers nope, if we arnt good enough to speak to, then no to fucking wiggles. Couples are exempt from above, as with them it's a case of ohh hello "spot on!! my pussy my decision lol | |||
"As a womn i just wanted to put it out that when some of us ladies go to a club with our other half some of us would rather you ask us & not our partners if its okay to touch. Really gets on my tits. I am not my partners pet on a leashe. Last time at chams a real nice man had a nice chat with Mr _d40 & asked if he could touch me! Well as much as i had fancied playtime that eliminated any chances he had. Same as in the jacuzzi. Talk to us before you grope! Rant over Mrs _d40 x" If we are in a club, we are hoping to play. If a man joins us and asks hubs for permission, hubs defers over to me. I will then decide if I want this man to touch me based on behaviour I have seen in the time we have been at the club. Hubs may be quite happy for me to be touched, but I might not want man A, I want man B, and as he isn't a mind reader, hubs leaves me to answer. I appreciate it is hard for men, there are so many different people who play in different ways that it can be confusing. I agree with the approach of asking may I join you whilst looking at both male and female, that way you are asking both for permission Mrs | |||
"Now you see that's perfect communication... And I engage in it all the time, it works to say what you like without fear of being judged... But no one who says or wants me to say, "would you like to play?", would I be getting into that type of conversation with... We would of had it in the pub, over dinner, in simple conversation, while warming down the street or shopping in tescos! (Other supermarkets are available). I'm just really curious why it would be such a turn off to ask someone if they want to play with you. Like, is it because of a fear of rejection? Is it just not something that 'alphas' do? Is it just because you struggle to communicate? No judgement - just curious as to why you'd rather touch someone without asking if they're ok with it when they might shove you off with a 'no thank you'. I find it unnatural, it feels a little too much like begging... I wouldn't like to be asked either... I have never had to ask, nor have I been asked, ever! I expect them to be 100% sure as I would be before even the slightest move occurred, otherwise, nothing. " Can you buy crystal balls the size of marbles? I'm not psychic so 'shall we find a room' is usually the way i know if someone wants to play.... Wonders if it's too early to start my xmas list? Mrs WD40 | |||
" I expect them to be 100% sure as I would be before even the slightest move occurred, otherwise, nothing. " How do you know if they're sure if they don't tell you that they want to play with you? | |||
" I expect them to be 100% sure as I would be before even the slightest move occurred, otherwise, nothing. How do you know if they're sure if they don't tell you that they want to play with you?" Like I say, you test, send non verbal messages, language becomes more enticing and most of all you wait.... And wait.... No need for a direct question and I find that boring anyways... It's more fun to dance round sex, to see if it builds, to almost give the impression it will never happen... Face changes, as do the eyes, body language alters, you both start to move and behave in a similar fashion... You both want something to happen, the only thing that might run out is time. | |||
" I expect them to be 100% sure as I would be before even the slightest move occurred, otherwise, nothing. How do you know if they're sure if they don't tell you that they want to play with you? Like I say, you test, send non verbal messages, language becomes more enticing and most of all you wait.... And wait.... No need for a direct question and I find that boring anyways... It's more fun to dance round sex, to see if it builds, to almost give the impression it will never happen... Face changes, as do the eyes, body language alters, you both start to move and behave in a similar fashion... You both want something to happen, the only thing that might run out is time." I can personally see why this is preferable in a one-on-one scenario. It is more organic, in a way. However, in the context of clubs I want verbal communication. I try to be nice to people at clubs, whether I want to play with them or not. This can lead to some ambiguity if someone doesn't actually ask us if we are all going to play together. I don't see another option, for me at least, unless I just stop being nice to people I don't want to play with. But I think that would be shitty. Another example is when we are in a room playing already and people just touch you without ever having spoken before. This is a slightly different issue, but it is pertinent in a club. I much prefer they ask either Marc or myself. We usually say no if we are already playing, but I really don't like to be touched by people I don't know while I'm having sex with someone else. And it happens more often then you would think. I know some people prefer more natural or organized sexual encounters, but I just don't feel comfortable with that in a club environment. It leads to too many grey lines. It has made me personally want to play in private rooms more and more. -Courtney | |||
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" I expect them to be 100% sure as I would be before even the slightest move occurred, otherwise, nothing. How do you know if they're sure if they don't tell you that they want to play with you? Like I say, you test, send non verbal messages, language becomes more enticing and most of all you wait.... And wait.... No need for a direct question and I find that boring anyways... It's more fun to dance round sex, to see if it builds, to almost give the impression it will never happen... Face changes, as do the eyes, body language alters, you both start to move and behave in a similar fashion... You both want something to happen, the only thing that might run out is time." see I'd have got bored and played with someone else long before that. I will always ask, seems a rarity at some clubs who think that I or Mr are fair game to be just touched if they themselves are female... Have got quite narked at many a woman who I've suddenly found removing my hand from Mr deviants cock because they want to touch . | |||
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" I expect them to be 100% sure as I would be before even the slightest move occurred, otherwise, nothing. How do you know if they're sure if they don't tell you that they want to play with you? Like I say, you test, send non verbal messages, language becomes more enticing and most of all you wait.... And wait.... No need for a direct question and I find that boring anyways... It's more fun to dance round sex, to see if it builds, to almost give the impression it will never happen... Face changes, as do the eyes, body language alters, you both start to move and behave in a similar fashion... You both want something to happen, the only thing that might run out is time." I'd just assume if they'd not verbally indicated they were interested, then they were not interested and just being polite. | |||
" I expect them to be 100% sure as I would be before even the slightest move occurred, otherwise, nothing. How do you know if they're sure if they don't tell you that they want to play with you? Like I say, you test, send non verbal messages, language becomes more enticing and most of all you wait.... And wait.... No need for a direct question and I find that boring anyways... It's more fun to dance round sex, to see if it builds, to almost give the impression it will never happen... Face changes, as do the eyes, body language alters, you both start to move and behave in a similar fashion... You both want something to happen, the only thing that might run out is time. I'd just assume if they'd not verbally indicated they were interested, then they were not interested and just being polite." On a more practical level - verbal consent also makes me feel more secure that I won't be committed sexual assault. Getting someone to tell me that they want to be sexually intimate is a stronger 'yes' than just going with the flow. | |||
" I expect them to be 100% sure as I would be before even the slightest move occurred, otherwise, nothing. How do you know if they're sure if they don't tell you that they want to play with you? Like I say, you test, send non verbal messages, language becomes more enticing and most of all you wait.... And wait.... No need for a direct question and I find that boring anyways... It's more fun to dance round sex, to see if it builds, to almost give the impression it will never happen... Face changes, as do the eyes, body language alters, you both start to move and behave in a similar fashion... You both want something to happen, the only thing that might run out is time. I can personally see why this is preferable in a one-on-one scenario. It is more organic, in a way. However, in the context of clubs I want verbal communication. I try to be nice to people at clubs, whether I want to play with them or not. This can lead to some ambiguity if someone doesn't actually ask us if we are all going to play together. I don't see another option, for me at least, unless I just stop being nice to people I don't want to play with. But I think that would be shitty. Another example is when we are in a room playing already and people just touch you without ever having spoken before. This is a slightly different issue, but it is pertinent in a club. I much prefer they ask either Marc or myself. We usually say no if we are already playing, but I really don't like to be touched by people I don't know while I'm having sex with someone else. And it happens more often then you would think. I know some people prefer more natural or organized sexual encounters, but I just don't feel comfortable with that in a club environment. It leads to too many grey lines. It has made me personally want to play in private rooms more and more. -Courtney " Off point, but... It always makes me think of a friend of mine... A woman wanted her and her hubby to play with my friend. She liked the wife, but wasn't so hot on the hubby and said "I will fuck him, but I'm not sucking his cock". And.... I totally get it, I do, I just don't! Also I'm nice to everyone and despite how I come across in the medium of text, super relaxed and very easy going... But no one is left with any ambiguity with myself, unless I'm doing so for my own amusement... Which due to my capricious nature I may do! | |||
" I expect them to be 100% sure as I would be before even the slightest move occurred, otherwise, nothing. How do you know if they're sure if they don't tell you that they want to play with you? Like I say, you test, send non verbal messages, language becomes more enticing and most of all you wait.... And wait.... No need for a direct question and I find that boring anyways... It's more fun to dance round sex, to see if it builds, to almost give the impression it will never happen... Face changes, as do the eyes, body language alters, you both start to move and behave in a similar fashion... You both want something to happen, the only thing that might run out is time. I'd just assume if they'd not verbally indicated they were interested, then they were not interested and just being polite." Yeah that happens a lot... But I really don't mind it... I get a lot of "I thought you weren't interested?!" After the fact... But I'm not looking for things to be perfect. | |||
" I expect them to be 100% sure as I would be before even the slightest move occurred, otherwise, nothing. How do you know if they're sure if they don't tell you that they want to play with you? Like I say, you test, send non verbal messages, language becomes more enticing and most of all you wait.... And wait.... No need for a direct question and I find that boring anyways... It's more fun to dance round sex, to see if it builds, to almost give the impression it will never happen... Face changes, as do the eyes, body language alters, you both start to move and behave in a similar fashion... You both want something to happen, the only thing that might run out is time. I'd just assume if they'd not verbally indicated they were interested, then they were not interested and just being polite. Yeah that happens a lot... But I really don't mind it... I get a lot of "I thought you weren't interested?!" After the fact... But I'm not looking for things to be perfect." That's fair. I really like sex with lots of different people. If I wanted forever for someone to make a move I just wouldn't be getting what I wanted most of the time. | |||
" I expect them to be 100% sure as I would be before even the slightest move occurred, otherwise, nothing. How do you know if they're sure if they don't tell you that they want to play with you? Like I say, you test, send non verbal messages, language becomes more enticing and most of all you wait.... And wait.... No need for a direct question and I find that boring anyways... It's more fun to dance round sex, to see if it builds, to almost give the impression it will never happen... Face changes, as do the eyes, body language alters, you both start to move and behave in a similar fashion... You both want something to happen, the only thing that might run out is time. see I'd have got bored and played with someone else long before that. I will always ask, seems a rarity at some clubs who think that I or Mr are fair game to be just touched if they themselves are female... Have got quite narked at many a woman who I've suddenly found removing my hand from Mr deviants cock because they want to touch ." That's part of the filter, we would not be compatible and therefore the sex would be terrible.... We wouldn't of built up what I need to be interested and we would of taken so long you would of lost interest... | |||
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" I expect them to be 100% sure as I would be before even the slightest move occurred, otherwise, nothing. How do you know if they're sure if they don't tell you that they want to play with you? Like I say, you test, send non verbal messages, language becomes more enticing and most of all you wait.... And wait.... No need for a direct question and I find that boring anyways... It's more fun to dance round sex, to see if it builds, to almost give the impression it will never happen... Face changes, as do the eyes, body language alters, you both start to move and behave in a similar fashion... You both want something to happen, the only thing that might run out is time. I'd just assume if they'd not verbally indicated they were interested, then they were not interested and just being polite. Yeah that happens a lot... But I really don't mind it... I get a lot of "I thought you weren't interested?!" After the fact... But I'm not looking for things to be perfect. That's fair. I really like sex with lots of different people. If I wanted forever for someone to make a move I just wouldn't be getting what I wanted most of the time." Depends how you define "lots"? In one sitting? Or general? I don't find anything interesting about having sex with lots of different people at a club, I would usually spot one or two I like and that's it, I see no one else... The rest of the room may as well not exist.. This is even more true if I bring someone... I usually just support them, they will get approached by couples and guys and I see it as taking them to an amusement park for adults, try a few rides, thrill, maybe scare yourself and we will talk about it on the way home.... If your talking about getting kinky, then a few in an apartment getting weird, may mean having sex with quite a few. But the dynamic is different, onlookers will not judge and you are all looking to expand your mind more than your body... Sex flows more, it can get darker, weirder and feels like you are doing the unatural naturally... | |||
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"As a womn i just wanted to put it out that when some of us ladies go to a club with our other half some of us would rather you ask us & not our partners if its okay to touch. Really gets on my tits. I am not my partners pet on a leashe. Last time at chams a real nice man had a nice chat with Mr _d40 & asked if he could touch me! Well as much as i had fancied playtime that eliminated any chances he had. Same as in the jacuzzi. Talk to us before you grope! Rant over Mrs _d40 x How dare he! He should be castrated at once! Seriously though, I'd ask the man too. If anyone wants to know why, pm me. I'm not saying why on here because I'd be burnt alive. Haha! At least talk to me & have eye contact. I am nobodys possession... Mrs _d40 Oh yes! Talk to you and have eye contact. Ofcourse! Xxx Well you can look at my cleavage too if you want "Ok, let me check with your hubby first. Hahahahaha! | |||
" Depends how you define "lots"? In one sitting? Or general? I don't find anything interesting about having sex with lots of different people at a club, I would usually spot one or two I like and that's it, I see no one else... The rest of the room may as well not exist.. This is even more true if I bring someone... I usually just support them, they will get approached by couples and guys and I see it as taking them to an amusement park for adults, try a few rides, thrill, maybe scare yourself and we will talk about it on the way home.... If your talking about getting kinky, then a few in an apartment getting weird, may mean having sex with quite a few. But the dynamic is different, onlookers will not judge and you are all looking to expand your mind more than your body... Sex flows more, it can get darker, weirder and feels like you are doing the unatural naturally..." I like variety of people and group sex. So 'lots' in a 'different people' sense. I also like voyeurism and exhibitionism, so if the rest of the room didn't exist, I might as well just play at home. When I take someone to a club it means I want to play with them *and with other people*. If I just wanted to play with them, I'd do it at home. | |||
" Depends how you define "lots"? In one sitting? Or general? I don't find anything interesting about having sex with lots of different people at a club, I would usually spot one or two I like and that's it, I see no one else... The rest of the room may as well not exist.. This is even more true if I bring someone... I usually just support them, they will get approached by couples and guys and I see it as taking them to an amusement park for adults, try a few rides, thrill, maybe scare yourself and we will talk about it on the way home.... If your talking about getting kinky, then a few in an apartment getting weird, may mean having sex with quite a few. But the dynamic is different, onlookers will not judge and you are all looking to expand your mind more than your body... Sex flows more, it can get darker, weirder and feels like you are doing the unatural naturally... I like variety of people and group sex. So 'lots' in a 'different people' sense. I also like voyeurism and exhibitionism, so if the rest of the room didn't exist, I might as well just play at home. When I take someone to a club it means I want to play with them *and with other people*. If I just wanted to play with them, I'd do it at home." They exist as an audience (which I also enjoy) and as part of the fantasy, but not so much as sexual beings... Also it's not just about me, it's about whomever I take too, it's interesting to see them play, react, move and entice their prey... It's just a tool, a playground to use how you see fit... I see clubs as no different to restaurants in that respect... I love to cook, but I still want to eat out. | |||
"No one likes a pissed player mate? " I'm possibly the least "player" on this thread (have you read it all?)
I wrote about getting pissed in jest, as I still feel the whole concept for me, at the moment, is a massive minefield | |||
" Depends how you define "lots"? In one sitting? Or general? I don't find anything interesting about having sex with lots of different people at a club, I would usually spot one or two I like and that's it, I see no one else... The rest of the room may as well not exist.. This is even more true if I bring someone... I usually just support them, they will get approached by couples and guys and I see it as taking them to an amusement park for adults, try a few rides, thrill, maybe scare yourself and we will talk about it on the way home.... If your talking about getting kinky, then a few in an apartment getting weird, may mean having sex with quite a few. But the dynamic is different, onlookers will not judge and you are all looking to expand your mind more than your body... Sex flows more, it can get darker, weirder and feels like you are doing the unatural naturally... I like variety of people and group sex. So 'lots' in a 'different people' sense. I also like voyeurism and exhibitionism, so if the rest of the room didn't exist, I might as well just play at home. When I take someone to a club it means I want to play with them *and with other people*. If I just wanted to play with them, I'd do it at home. They exist as an audience (which I also enjoy) and as part of the fantasy, but not so much as sexual beings... Also it's not just about me, it's about whomever I take too, it's interesting to see them play, react, move and entice their prey... It's just a tool, a playground to use how you see fit... I see clubs as no different to restaurants in that respect... I love to cook, but I still want to eat out. " To continue your analogy... we just prefer different types of menus. I like a tasting menu, you like al la carte. But the key thing is - I'd just never play with someone, even if I'd played with them a hundred time before, without checking verbally that they wanted it. | |||
"No one likes a pissed player mate? I'm possibly the least "player" on this thread (have you read it all?)
I wrote about getting pissed in jest, as I still feel the whole concept for me, at the moment, is a massive minefield"To be fair mate, that's the whole point of conversation... We hear other people's opinions, some of which may be contrary to our own & this gives us the opportunity to alter our thoughts and in some cases change our worlds! | |||
"As a womn i just wanted to put it out that when some of us ladies go to a club with our other half some of us would rather you ask us & not our partners if its okay to touch. Really gets on my tits. I am not my partners pet on a leashe. Last time at chams a real nice man had a nice chat with Mr _d40 & asked if he could touch me! Well as much as i had fancied playtime that eliminated any chances he had. Same as in the jacuzzi. Talk to us before you grope! Rant over Mrs _d40 x How dare he! He should be castrated at once! Seriously though, I'd ask the man too. If anyone wants to know why, pm me. I'm not saying why on here because I'd be burnt alive. Haha! At least talk to me & have eye contact. I am nobodys possession... Mrs _d40 Oh yes! Talk to you and have eye contact. Ofcourse! Xxx Well you can look at my cleavage too if you want
Ok, let me check with your hubby first. Hahahahaha!"Nowhere on my post does it say ask permission to look
Mrs _d40 | |||
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"To be fair I feel sorry for single guys because a lot of men in couples expect guys to ask them where as some couples the women likes to be asked I really wouldnt fancy being a guys, how do you know which that particular couple likes?" Somewhere up north, I was at a house party and I ventured into a room where 2 guys where giving a woman some attention. I approached gently, touching from the fringes until I got to the serious stuff. I mean muff and stuff. Judging by the lady's reaction and the amount of juice flowing, I figured it was action time so I whipped my condom out and unrolled it on. Almost immediately, the guy( other half ) interjected quite authoritatively, "she's not playing". I felt humiliated but the lady protested, saying yes she would play. Needless to say, I could not carry on. I said my no thanks and got out. Half an hour later, the same lady sought me out and we found ourselves a room and fucked the night away. Moral if the story, some men in couples try to wield too much power try to stifle their women. As has been said up the thread, the life of a single guy in a club is sometimes very pathetic indeed. I won't like to be one except I am one. | |||
Goes of to have the three lady's that I enjoyed on Friday  | |||
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"To be fair I feel sorry for single guys because a lot of men in couples expect guys to ask them where as some couples the women likes to be asked I really wouldnt fancy being a guys, how do you know which that particular couple likes?" | |||
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