FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > What is wrong with some single guys???
What is wrong with some single guys???
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Seriously...
Mrs has just had another guy go AWOL on her right before a meet.
They had arranged to meet in a public place etc, then all of a sudden he's stopped messaging. She's spent ages getting ready and everything. She's actually met this guys for a social before too so she knows he's real.
I like to think Mrs is hot so I hope it isn't coz they think she's not nice and stringing her along!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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She has had a few do this now. She chats for ages on kik and gets them to do silly things in pics for verification pics to show they're genuine but they still do it.
If I had a hot girl arranging to meet me I'd bloody make sure I was there!!! |
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Very sorry to hear youve been let down by a single guy. His loss for sure!!
I promise you all us single guys arent the same - there are some nuggets out there.
Good luck and feel free to contact me x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It could be you are selecting the wrong ones."
I didn't get to vet this one. I think she met him in town before or something. She's been chatting to him for ages though. She gets really down when it happens though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe something has come up in his real life
It happens, sometimes pulling out of a meet is for a genuine reason
"
This is the second time he has done this. He actually came to our house before but before he took his coat off her said he had an emergency to go to and got on his bike and rode off and didn't message for days. She gave him a second chance. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well all I can say that the guy is a bit mental as your missus looks truly amazing and deserves better. Kudos to you for letting her have fun on her own"
Thank you. I trust her fully and I know she wouldnt do anything I didn't want her to. Shame I can't do the same though but I respect her wishes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly it happens. We try really hard to not go too far out of our way for meets anymore. Some people have good reasons for not turning up, but usually they'll tell you beforehand.
I really hope you have better luck in the future. There are great guys on here 
-Courtney |
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"Maybe something has come up in his real life
It happens, sometimes pulling out of a meet is for a genuine reason
This is the second time he has done this. He actually came to our house before but before he took his coat off her said he had an emergency to go to and got on his bike and rode off and didn't message for days. She gave him a second chance. "
That sounds like a possible loss of bottle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well on behalf of all of us single blokes may I apologise for his conduct and hope it does not reflect on us all. It can be nerve racking on the first meet but after a first social it durs grt easier. I would never cancel without a good reason and certainly not without letting giving the rason why. Manners cost nothing. Hope your good lady has better look in the future |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I second the post above. Single men, just like all groups, have some bad apples!
Having peeked at your profile, your Mrs is way way hit. I fabbed your amazing pics!
Sorry I can't be there to make it right  |
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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
Hell or high water
Exploded battery (did happen on the way to a social)
I'll be there... If i arrange to do something It happens.
You will find the right person to meet, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are lots of reasons why this is occurring to you but I think you will have to adjust the way you are selecting the guys,maybe use a way to prove they are genuine and can actually give you something more than just words on a screen? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seriously...
Mrs has just had another guy go AWOL on her right before a meet.
They had arranged to meet in a public place etc, then all of a sudden he's stopped messaging. She's spent ages getting ready and everything. She's actually met this guys for a social before too so she knows he's real.
We have had no end of these so called 'single' guys, all with lame excuses, given the genuine ones a bad name.
I like to think Mrs is hot so I hope it isn't coz they think she's not nice and stringing her along!!! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe something has come up in his real life
It happens, sometimes pulling out of a meet is for a genuine reason
This is the second time he has done this. He actually came to our house before but before he took his coat off her said he had an emergency to go to and got on his bike and rode off and didn't message for days. She gave him a second chance. "
Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The problem here is you are spending too much time chatting before the meet . Exchanging pics etc.
Always the same when this happens .
Establish there's an attraction , don't flirt and waste time messaging .Once she knows hes ok just meet .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seriously...
Mrs has just had another guy go AWOL on her right before a meet.
They had arranged to meet in a public place etc, then all of a sudden he's stopped messaging. She's spent ages getting ready and everything. She's actually met this guys for a social before too so she knows he's real.
I like to think Mrs is hot so I hope it isn't coz they think she's not nice and stringing her along!!! "
Seems odd that he'd do that after meeting socially & all the messaging. From what I've just seen on your profile it's his loss, your lady looks hot & sexy so tell her not to worry & find someone more reliable. Unfortunately there are guys on here who make it even harder for single men to be taken seriously but I for one never arrange/chat about anything that I won't follow up on. Tell her to keep her chin up she's sexy ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very sorry to hear youve been let down by a single guy. His loss for sure!!
I promise you all us single guys arent the same - there are some nuggets out there.
Good luck and feel free to contact me x"
I totally agree - definately his loss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The problem here is you are spending too much time chatting before the meet . Exchanging pics etc.
Always the same when this happens .
Establish there's an attraction , don't flirt and waste time messaging .Once she knows hes ok just meet .
"
This. Don't get them horny, don't give second chances and don't get ready until you're 100% sure. And have a back up plan  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seriously...
Mrs has just had another guy go AWOL on her right before a meet.
They had arranged to meet in a public place etc, then all of a sudden he's stopped messaging. She's spent ages getting ready and everything. She's actually met this guys for a social before too so she knows he's real.
I like to think Mrs is hot so I hope it isn't coz they think she's not nice and stringing her along!!! "
Crazy!! Why join if your not willing to swing!! are these guys stupid? Read before you join!!! Gives the rest of us single lads a bad name and annoys the hell out of me  |
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"The problem here is you are spending too much time chatting before the meet . Exchanging pics etc.
Always the same when this happens .
Establish there's an attraction , don't flirt and waste time messaging .Once she knows hes ok just meet .
This. Don't get them horny, don't give second chances and don't get ready until you're 100% sure. And have a back up plan "
Mine didnt bother to confirm til 9.10pm this evening when I was happily enjoying a movie and wine with my kids in my pjs. He then advertised within minutes to meet someone.
Always have a back up plan |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"weve had 3guys in 2 mths let us down at the hour of meeting, no more private meets , we will find meets at clubs from now on"
We are starting to do the same thing. Club meets only.
This is all supposed to just be fun but in fact is bloody hard work and not really sexy at all.
We've found the longer people talk the more likely they are to let you down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing like the intimate private experience for me! No clubs for me! "
It can and usually is intimate for us as there are lockable rooms at Chams.
Great fun and also time to relax in the jacuzzi during the visit too.
Plus if the guy doesn't turn up or turns out to be crap then there's still the club facilities to enjoy and of course we have each other |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sure its amazing but still preffer the intimate experience of a private meet with the right people. if they dont turn up it were no the right ones! Try it! Yours anytime |
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"It's a damn shame always the few who ruin it for the rest of us who are genuinely here to find fun. I wish you both better fortune"
They don't ruin it for me....or for you either.
People are quite capable of making up their own minds when it comes to choosing, and guys make their own luck on here. |
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"Well on behalf of all of us single blokes may I apologise for his conduct and hope it does not reflect on us all. It can be nerve racking on the first meet but after a first social it durs grt easier. I would never cancel without a good reason and certainly not without letting giving the rason why. Manners cost nothing. Hope your good lady has better look in the future"
If a woman, a black person, a leftie does something "wrong, do you know I've never felt the need to apologise on their behalf. Just because I may share certain traits I do not take on the responsibility of others.
This for me is fun, an addition to an already fulfilled and happy life. Arranging to meet and be stood up would piss me off without a doubt, but to be down about it and so upset it causes my partner to start a thread like this? Hell no! |
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"People of all statuses have the ability to be unreliable
I don't like a lot of the "single guy" bashing I see on this site.
"
Indeed. I only meet single men and in seven years not had a no show yet. Met some for socials I wish hadn't turned up mind, but they were dicks!
What is pathetic are the white knights and the single men throwing all other single men under the bus! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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they dont ruin it but they make it harder for single guys. Many of them are here cause cant get sex in real life which I think is not really the point of this site!I'm here for that other side of sexuality that you cant get in real dates but I believe many here cause they wouldnt get any other wise ... me Think! ?? |
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I think that sometimes people get too embarrassed just to simply say "Do you know what, I think I've changed my mind. Can we take a raincheck?"... so they just disappear instead.
I don't think it's ever a "personal" thing aimed at whoever has been let down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The expectations on guys to perform here are daunting sometimes, especially with an absolute stunner but I'd rather turn up and disappoint someone than disappoint by not turning up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are slowly getting used to experiences similar to this although we have haven't a no show yet. Our block list is full of single men who stopped messaging when we explained our wants/needs/desire or explained who we were (many don't read our profile properly). Rudeness from some of them is incredible, they have an attitude that they have no chance and what the hell anyway. And of course the biggest problem are those who advertise they can accommodate and then can't.
I often read many threads by men about how women don't give single men a chance, but with the attitudes we are getting and the ratio that there are to us, I can understand why many are not getting anywhere.
But, we don't tar them all with the same brush and treat each new interaction with a clean perspective. So those who are concerned about how the rest are letting the side down, don't be. Well not with us anyway. |
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"they dont ruin it but they make it harder for single guys. Many of them are here cause cant get sex in real life which I think is not really the point of this site!I'm here for that other side of sexuality that you cant get in real dates but I believe many here cause they wouldnt get any other wise ... me Think! ??"
I only understood the first sentence and dont agree with that at all.
Take credit or blame for your own progress on the site. |
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By *helbeeCouple
over a year ago
Nuneaton |
Some guys it's just fantasy ..an all talk ..sounds a good idea at the time then they back out ..as the time gets nearer ..as least in a swingers club your guaranteed fun..an people are there for fun an there real....
Or In the porn world..i have dabbled in guys arnt all talk an you know they are they an get the job done in hand an not all talk as I've been in the last in the adult industry an dabbled in porn an doing sexy amateur porn an pics |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some guys are just dicks I've had it happen also , so bloody annoying and frustrating. Hope someone better comes along for you X "
Could have finished after 5 words |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People of all statuses have the ability to be unreliable
I don't like a lot of the "single guy" bashing I see on this site.
Indeed. I only meet single men and in seven years not had a no show yet. Met some for socials I wish hadn't turned up mind, but they were dicks!
What is pathetic are the white knights and the single men throwing all other single men under the bus! "
Yeah, like the ones on Facebook commenting on a newly single woman's status |
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"Some guys it's just fantasy ..an all talk ..sounds a good idea at the time then they back out ..as the time gets nearer ..as least in a swingers club your guaranteed fun..an people are there for fun an there real....
Or In the porn world..i have dabbled in guys arnt all talk an you know they are they an get the job done in hand an not all talk as I've been in the last in the adult industry an dabbled in porn an doing sexy amateur porn an pics"
Ok... I have met the female half of a couple from here before, but we have been unable to arrange anything over the course of a year...
I too have had sex with a couple in a club and they messaged me several times to meet, but I couldn't make it...
I'm sure at the back of their minds I'm somewhat difficult.. But life gets in the way...
I find the issue with clubs is that sex is a little bit robotic and devoid of experimentation... You can only really go to the depths if depravity in small, trusted private groups...
Most clubs are basically vanilla and it's a little daunting to get "weird".
It all depends on your definition of "real"...
I'm "real", yet elusive and I live my adventure... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
What is pathetic are the white knights and the single men throwing all other single men under the bus! "
I actually find this behaviour more annoying than the initial 'bash' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe he was attached and in the end , reality made him think twice. Annoying and Frustrating, but there are some nice single guys out there. I'm sure there are ladies and couples who mess others around too.
Hope next time all goes better.
Sarah |
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By *estivalMan
over a year ago
borehamwood |
Just wow.what a mug for letting her down shes hot.like a few have already said he prob likes the idea but when it comes down to it he bottles it.either that or he got a mrs at home and guilt kicks in.but hey we aint all timewasters and i got no doubt ya will have plenty of offers from genuine guys |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
Ok I won't do the white knight discussion or slate the guy
What I will say is this, after a number of years in scene it is part and parcel of the scene. I am not saying is right but it happens
Like other posters have said always have a backup plan.
Don't get me wrong I do meet people in hotels/ for coffee etc but I have found the club scene works for me a single guy, people are there to play so u can watch and if I am lucky join in.
I would say maybe on a go forward arrange to meet someone there op then if they don't turn up you can use facilities or have some fun with someone else that catches your eye
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I keep saying this...
Chat for longer! Get to know the guy properly! Get to know how he ticks.
Women also do this thing. It used to happen to me when I first joined the site. Get to know the person then it doesn't happen.
Build up trust. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im so fed up with let downs. Ice hidden my account and thinking of leaving. So hacked off, had around 12 lets downs in 2 weeks. "
And the common denominator is ... you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mrs OP is clearly a stunning looking lady and the guy is a fool for passing her up.
A lot of people on Fab - male and female - are fantasist who enjoy the attention and the thrill of the chat, but who don't have the bottle to actually go through with a meet. It's annoying when it happens, but you just have to let it go and move on. People are weird. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Arranging to meet and be stood up would piss me off without a doubt, but to be down about it and so upset it causes my partner to start a thread like this? Hell no!"
She's not so much down about it, more pissed off that manners are missing. I just don't understand it myself that's why I started this thread, to get peoples opinions on why it happens so much |
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Maybe... Just maybe, there is a need for humans to make sense of their worlds...
They find meaning where there is none and construct answers to fit the questions...
Maybe the universe is random as are the players in it...
People are fickle. |
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"Maybe... Just maybe, there is a need for humans to make sense of their worlds...
They find meaning where there is none and construct answers to fit the questions...
Maybe the universe is random as are the players in it...
People are fickle. "
I'm sure Captain Kirk says something very similar in one of the original Star Trek episodes.... |
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"Maybe... Just maybe, there is a need for humans to make sense of their worlds...
They find meaning where there is none and construct answers to fit the questions...
Maybe the universe is random as are the players in it...
People are fickle.
I'm sure Captain Kirk says something very similar in one of the original Star Trek episodes...."
Hollywood in the 60s?
I'm sure they had their share of no shows! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"weve had 3guys in 2 mths let us down at the hour of meeting, no more private meets , we will find meets at clubs from now on
We do the same sick of being let down  "
Ah but none of you beat my record of having 20 let downs in one night. Yep 20 'oh I will definitely be there' bullshit messages from single men. Par for the course on here unfortunately. (Next time I'm going for 30 lol) |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
Ok I going to be the devils advocate here and ask
How would you feel if the meet contacted you and was honest and say they got cold feet / nervous/ wife or husband found out
To me at least I would say fair enough. I have been really nervous before meets but now I know that as soon as I get there, and 10 mins I will be fine
Sometimes things happen such mean you can't meet.
I do keep my diary up to date but sometimes things change late eg family issues (parents ), work, football |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The problem here is you are spending too much time chatting before the meet . Exchanging pics etc.
Always the same when this happens .
Establish there's an attraction , don't flirt and waste time messaging .Once she knows hes ok just meet .
"
We agree with this, seems like the more they want to chat the less likely they are to meet.
We never chat to single guys on anything but fab, and keep it short and to the point. We've only been let down twice in two years, and that was at the beginning before we knew the signs lol.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well all I can say that the guy is a bit mental as your missus looks truly amazing and deserves better. Kudos to you for letting her have fun on her own
Thank you. I trust her fully and I know she wouldnt do anything I didn't want her to. Shame I can't do the same though but I respect her wishes "
Does that mean she goes out playing but your not allowed too ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She has had a few do this now. She chats for ages on kik and gets them to do silly things in pics for verification pics to show they're genuine but they still do it.
If I had a hot girl arranging to meet me I'd bloody make sure I was there!!!"
Me too - and I de be early |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"weve had 3guys in 2 mths let us down at the hour of meeting, no more private meets , we will find meets at clubs from now on
We do the same sick of being let down "
Your here over a year - and not even verified personally I would even mail a profile like that.
Sorry to be upfront |
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We've not been let down exactly, but in the last few weeks we've had contact with four profiles on here and none has resulted in a meet.
It may be that we don't appeal, which we understand completely, but we always offer to travel for a social meet first.
We're hopeful that another three contacts will work out for us, so always think positively....!
We remember our first journey into swinging. We contacted so many single guys ( in the days of Freeads, before Internet came along ) and heard every excuse under the sun as to why they couldn't meet. So nothing much has changed....!
But as many people above have pointed out, they must be mad to stand up such a lovely lady.
Have Fun.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well all I can say that the guy is a bit mental as your missus looks truly amazing and deserves better. Kudos to you for letting her have fun on her own
Thank you. I trust her fully and I know she wouldnt do anything I didn't want her to. Shame I can't do the same though but I respect her wishes
Does that mean she goes out playing but your not allowed too ?"
Yeah she can go out on her own if she likes but she doesn't want me to. She doesn't mind me having 3somes with other girls, or full separate room swapping, she just doesnt want me doing solo meets elsewhere.
As for the guys getting cold feet in case their partner finds out, AFAIC they shouldnt be cheating in the first place! |
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Keep them coming guys!