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Who does the communicating as a couple?
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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago
North Cambs |
I have noticed that the majority of my successful meets (almost without exception) have resulted when the initial communication (and most communication thereafter) has been with the male of the couple. Many times I have found myself communicating in a very promising fashion with the female of a couple, however, almost invariably this communication does not end up leading to an actual meet.
I was just wondering whether this is usual practise, ie; that the man communicates with single men that the couple might be interested in and (I presume the woman communicates with single women they are eager to meet.
How does this compare with your experience? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I the Mr do nearly all the communicating, in fact Mrs l very rarely comes on unless I tell her we have had a message she maybe interested in, she will come on and say yay or nay and we go from there, if she was in charge we would end up talking to everyone she is too nice, sometimes you have to be a bit ruthless on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I talk to most of the people who message from the forums. Marc will usually be the one who initiates contact with people not on the forums. He does a majority of our messaging, but I do jump in when he is busy or fed up.
But, as someone above said, very often he will be the one who ends conversations with people we aren't interested in meeting. I have a harder time doing that. 
Once we've met people, and have exchanged kik ids, we usually both chat on kik. If phone numbers are exchanged it's usually with a woman and then I will be the one communicating.
I'm rubbish at it, though, I imagine people likely get fed up with me and want to talk to Marc instead 
-Courtney |
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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago
North Cambs |
"I talk to most of the people who message from the forums. Marc will usually be the one who initiates contact with people not on the forums. He does a majority of our messaging, but I do jump in when he is busy or fed up.
But, as someone above said, very often he will be the one who ends conversations with people we aren't interested in meeting. I have a harder time doing that.
Once we've met people, and have exchanged kik ids, we usually both chat on kik. If phone numbers are exchanged it's usually with a woman and then I will be the one communicating.
I'm rubbish at it, though, I imagine people likely get fed up with me and want to talk to Marc instead
-Courtney "
Courtney, do you find it makes any difference who you are talking with? Ie; men, women or couples? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We both reply but Mr does the majority of it as I am to blunt and can easily put people off as I can seem unfriendly on messages.
Those that know me know I'm not and I'm just blunt and to the point
I'd say 90% of meets I try to personally sort fall flat or I lose interest in x Mr is far better at that bit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have noticed that the majority of my successful meets (almost without exception) have resulted when the initial communication (and most communication thereafter) has been with the male of the couple. Many times I have found myself communicating in a very promising fashion with the female of a couple, however, almost invariably this communication does not end up leading to an actual meet.
I was just wondering whether this is usual practise, ie; that the man communicates with single men that the couple might be interested in and (I presume the woman communicates with single women they are eager to meet.
How does this compare with your experience?"
MrA does most of our messaging to single guys and any single guys he thinks MrsH will be interested in he shows her them, if she nods off we go.
Any single ladies is always MrsH, and same applies.  its does state on our profile that if its daytime we are on it will be MrA more likely than not. |
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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago
North Cambs |
"I have noticed that the majority of my successful meets (almost without exception) have resulted when the initial communication (and most communication thereafter) has been with the male of the couple. Many times I have found myself communicating in a very promising fashion with the female of a couple, however, almost invariably this communication does not end up leading to an actual meet.
I was just wondering whether this is usual practise, ie; that the man communicates with single men that the couple might be interested in and (I presume the woman communicates with single women they are eager to meet.
How does this compare with your experience?
MrA does most of our messaging to single guys and any single guys he thinks MrsH will be interested in he shows her them, if she nods off we go.
Any single ladies is always MrsH, and same applies. its does state on our profile that if its daytime we are on it will be MrA more likely than not. "
Yes, this is my experience of how it works for most couples..  |
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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"I have noticed that the majority of my successful meets (almost without exception) have resulted when the initial communication (and most communication thereafter) has been with the male of the couple. Many times I have found myself communicating in a very promising fashion with the female of a couple, however, almost invariably this communication does not end up leading to an actual meet.
I was just wondering whether this is usual practise, ie; that the man communicates with single men that the couple might be interested in and (I presume the woman communicates with single women they are eager to meet.
How does this compare with your experience?"
I'm on here more than Grey is but if we ever receive any messages, whoever reads them would leave them on till we both have read them. F half here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I talk to most of the people who message from the forums. Marc will usually be the one who initiates contact with people not on the forums. He does a majority of our messaging, but I do jump in when he is busy or fed up.
But, as someone above said, very often he will be the one who ends conversations with people we aren't interested in meeting. I have a harder time doing that.
Once we've met people, and have exchanged kik ids, we usually both chat on kik. If phone numbers are exchanged it's usually with a woman and then I will be the one communicating.
I'm rubbish at it, though, I imagine people likely get fed up with me and want to talk to Marc instead
-Courtney
Courtney, do you find it makes any difference who you are talking with? Ie; men, women or couples?"
I've given it some thought. I don't think it matters who we are talking with when it comes to who responds. However, how we respond will be different. Marc tends to have a more blunt style with men. I have a more blunt style with couples. Our conversations with women are rare enough to not really come into this discussion 
I think for us timing is what really decides who answers, not the sender's gender. I respond during the day while Marc is busy with work. Marc is more likely to respond at night or on weekends. I have very little patience for fab on the weekends.
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I talk to most of the people who message from the forums. Marc will usually be the one who initiates contact with people not on the forums. He does a majority of our messaging, but I do jump in when he is busy or fed up.
But, as someone above said, very often he will be the one who ends conversations with people we aren't interested in meeting. I have a harder time doing that.
Once we've met people, and have exchanged kik ids, we usually both chat on kik. If phone numbers are exchanged it's usually with a woman and then I will be the one communicating.
I'm rubbish at it, though, I imagine people likely get fed up with me and want to talk to Marc instead
-Courtney
Courtney, do you find it makes any difference who you are talking with? Ie; men, women or couples?
I've given it some thought. I don't think it matters who we are talking with when it comes to who responds. However, how we respond will be different. Marc tends to have a more blunt style with men. I have a more blunt style with couples. Our conversations with women are rare enough to not really come into this discussion
I think for us timing is what really decides who answers, not the sender's gender. I respond during the day while Marc is busy with work. Marc is more likely to respond at night or on weekends. I have very little patience for fab on the weekends.
-Courtney "
yes I don't bother messaging at weekends nobody answers         |
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My husband does most of the messaging on our couples account, I will add a bit to the conversation every now and then. But I always tell him early on whether I would meet them or not and it's up to him how he ends it. |
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"I the Mr do nearly all the communicating, in fact Mrs l very rarely comes on unless I tell her we have had a message she maybe interested in, she will come on and say yay or nay and we go from there, if she was in charge we would end up talking to everyone she is too nice, sometimes you have to be a bit ruthless on here"
Very similar to us. Though lately I told N to go find a man that interested her. In that instance she does a lot of the communicating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On the couple profile we sort of ish take it in turns to be scribe. I mainly have to be nagged into 'doing my admin', but was a very good Heels at the weekend and actually sent some messages without being reminded to. (I didn't get half the pat on the head and 'well done' approval that I thought I deserved *sulks*).
I do have to pop in and remove all the twenty year olds from the hotlist every now and then. When will he understand that I have age angst!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On the couple profile we sort of ish take it in turns to be scribe. I mainly have to be nagged into 'doing my admin', but was a very good Heels at the weekend and actually sent some messages without being reminded to. (I didn't get half the pat on the head and 'well done' approval that I thought I deserved *sulks*).
I do have to pop in and remove all the twenty year olds from the hotlist every now and then. When will he understand that I have age angst!!! "
What is "age angst?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When on here with my first wife and then my dear sweet FB , it was always a joint access account and although I tended to make arrangements, all partys talked to each other openly - it seemed to work for us - it was all about setting the ground rules really |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On the couple profile we sort of ish take it in turns to be scribe. I mainly have to be nagged into 'doing my admin', but was a very good Heels at the weekend and actually sent some messages without being reminded to. (I didn't get half the pat on the head and 'well done' approval that I thought I deserved *sulks*).
I do have to pop in and remove all the twenty year olds from the hotlist every now and then. When will he understand that I have age angst!!!
What is "age angst?""
My 'I'm an old bird' irrational paranoia. As irrational as my fear of spiders and requirement to salute magpies I know. |
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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago
North Cambs |
"On the couple profile we sort of ish take it in turns to be scribe. I mainly have to be nagged into 'doing my admin', but was a very good Heels at the weekend and actually sent some messages without being reminded to. (I didn't get half the pat on the head and 'well done' approval that I thought I deserved *sulks*).
I do have to pop in and remove all the twenty year olds from the hotlist every now and then. When will he understand that I have age angst!!!
What is "age angst?"
My 'I'm an old bird' irrational paranoia. As irrational as my fear of spiders and requirement to salute magpies I know. "
'Salute magpies'...lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As our profile says,I Mr G would be on mostly interacting with others,sweet would prefer the chat rooms.when organising meets,sweet would have the final say so sees all messages I don't deem a waste of time. |
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I tend to reply to most of the messages, usually after showing MiscM and seeing what he thinks if it's the first message or two. MiscM ends up being too formal on the messages and he gets stuck as to what to say whereas I like a little chat and if it's looking good then swapping kiks with people.
I guess I do find it difficult to end a conversation but I usually just say now. I would always rather know if people don't want to meet us, whether they give a reason or not.
MiscF x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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V here.
It's about 50/50 for us. We do try to say who is talking. Often we pretend to be the other one. Just because it makes us giggle when a we get a"fancy a fuck" message obviously addressed to me but ignoring Adam completely. A will say "oooh actually yes I do"...... We get blocked a lot for wasting their valuable time 
Simple things ..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"V here.
It's about 50/50 for us. We do try to say who is talking. Often we pretend to be the other one. Just because it makes us giggle when a we get a"fancy a fuck" message obviously addressed to me but ignoring Adam completely. A will say "oooh actually yes I do"...... We get blocked a lot for wasting their valuable time
Simple things ..... "
We do this, too. When we get "hey babe, wanna take a big dick" I sometimes reply "Thanks, the bigger the better -Marc" They usually don't reply anymore
-Courtney |
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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago
North Cambs |
"V here.
It's about 50/50 for us. We do try to say who is talking. Often we pretend to be the other one. Just because it makes us giggle when a we get a"fancy a fuck" message obviously addressed to me but ignoring Adam completely. A will say "oooh actually yes I do"...... We get blocked a lot for wasting their valuable time
Simple things .....
We do this, too. When we get "hey babe, wanna take a big dick" I sometimes reply "Thanks, the bigger the better -Marc" They usually don't reply anymore
-Courtney "
Haha |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
Although we both come on to site, I (c) do all the messaging, with hubby obviously taking part in what is said and he reads all messages. I'm the one in the forums and he's the one who also puts 20 year old guys on our hotlist, who I then go on to remove!!! |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
I (Mrs) do all of the messaging/ communication on here. Purely because I have more free time and can type faster.
It's always with Mr's full knowledge and input.
We decide together who to meet, mail etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's 50/50 for us too for messaging depending on who's free and then if we click we may have a 3 way conversation on Kik but I get what some of you are saying about the hot-listing! He adds them, I remove them, he adds them again and around we go.. At least he's consistent with regards to who he likes I suppose! |
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It's 100% me (Sav, f) responding to messages and chatting, deciding who gets through the first filter; )
If I think someone sounds promising then He will look at the profile and message string. I do find that more single guys on here are respectful of the existing relationship instead of trying to ignore it, which is nice.;) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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id say 75% mr and 25% me I get bored very easy so when the message's start going back n forth I start to lose interest.
I get fed up with how guys talk to me when they realise im the fem it gos from looking for a meet to full blown what they are going to do to me and all this darling sweetie honey wanna make me puke talk.
when hubby is on we get none of the above and is much much easier to get a meet sorted but both 100% get to say yay or nay |
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"id say 75% mr and 25% me I get bored very easy so when the message's start going back n forth I start to lose interest.
I get fed up with how guys talk to me when they realise im the fem it gos from looking for a meet to full blown what they are going to do to me and all this darling sweetie honey wanna make me puke talk.
when hubby is on we get none of the above and is much much easier to get a meet sorted but both 100% get to say yay or nay "
I'll talk to hubby |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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(M) I am terrible at messages and find myself rewriting message over and over trying not to be to seedy or creepy but just the right side of sexy. So if its boring and awkward its me. If its interesting and nice its her. |
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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago
North Cambs |
"Probably 75/25 male/female response, at least in forum posts, more even in messaging. When we're at clubs it tends to be Beth who takes the lead... "
I actually find that on the forums communication with females is more common, but, when messaging on the site in general it tends to be the man who takes the helm..certainly in the first few messages and until a meeting is on the cards, when usually there will be some communication with the woman as well.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have noticed that the majority of my successful meets (almost without exception) have resulted when the initial communication (and most communication thereafter) has been with the male of the couple. Many times I have found myself communicating in a very promising fashion with the female of a couple, however, almost invariably this communication does not end up leading to an actual meet.
I was just wondering whether this is usual practise, ie; that the man communicates with single men that the couple might be interested in and (I presume the woman communicates with single women they are eager to meet.
How does this compare with your experience?"
I do most of the emailing on our couples profile. Sometimes he takes over on Yahoo or similar when we're arranging a meet, sometimes I do it on Kik. Depends how it goes really, we have no fixed agenda.
Usually I lie and say it's both of us doing the messaging on here, because I get fed up of people talking just to me and not him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's generally the female in mails here (we only meet men for mfm), if we decide we're interested, we move to a kik group, if the male can't converse easily with both of us on kik, we won't be meeting him. |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
I (he) do almost everything on here, Mrs isn't too keen on the looking for meets or the forums, however, always gets the final say whom to meet, it's her who does the playing. She'll sometimes chat with potential meets on here but it's rare and in fairness her work schedule is horrendous and often doesn't have the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't care who it is when chatting but you can usually tell if you have been chatting for awhile with one of them and then the tone or of the message/reply changes,
Right am off to target the Female half of the couples who have said they do all/most of the talking
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I the Mr do nearly all the communicating, in fact Mrs l very rarely comes on unless I tell her we have had a message she maybe interested in, she will come on and say yay or nay and we go from there, if she was in charge we would end up talking to everyone she is too nice, sometimes you have to be a bit ruthless on here"
pretty much the same here she does cum here with me when we go on cam |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i'm the one that replys to all the messages sent to us weather it be from single males, couples or single females im always the main chatter and meet organiser |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i'm the one that replys to all the messages sent to us weather it be from single males, couples or single females im always the main chatter and meet organiser "
You didn't say which one you are. |
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"It's 50/50 for us too for messaging depending on who's free and then if we click we may have a 3 way conversation on Kik but I get what some of you are saying about the hot-listing! He adds them, I remove them, he adds them again and around we go.. At least he's consistent with regards to who he likes I suppose! "
C does this with the friends list. I'll see someone and think "who is that?!" I think he's trying to friend the entire world lol |
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"(M) I am terrible at messages and find myself rewriting message over and over trying not to be to seedy or creepy but just the right side of sexy. So if its boring and awkward its me. If its interesting and nice its her. "
He always says if the message looks like it was written by a 5yr old, it's him. If it has correct spelling and punctuation it's me.
I always sign my messages so people know it's me talking |
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It's mainly me (LB) in the forums but P does contribute occasionally. Both of us sort of take turns messaging when on together but we work all sorts of hours so quite often it's only one of us online. After people have received a message from each of us it's obvious who's is who's as I'm a member of the Grammar Police and P writes the same way she speaks. |
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