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Rection to being messed around?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends. Like with every other human scenario in life, no two are the same and a 'one size fits all' solution is rarely satisfactory. There are exceptions of course. |
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Depends on the definition of messing around.. As there seems varying views of someone chatting via message for a few days and not dropping their knickers immediately or changing their mind through to being stood up on a meet on several occasions..
I can't bear liars.. So if it was someone saying one thing, or to meet, and then didn't pitch up, I wouldn't entertain the thought of seeing them again.. or speaking to them... |
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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago
North Cambs |
"Depends. Like with every other human scenario in life, no two are the same and a 'one size fits all' solution is rarely satisfactory. There are exceptions of course."
This is kind of where I stand. I did have one example of a couple who after suddenly going incommunicado the week before an arranged meet, got back in touch a couple of months later and explained things asking if I would be prepared to consider arranging another meet. It hasn't happened yet, however, at least they got back to me and I am now hopeful that one day it might.. |
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If there was no explanation, or a very poor one, I'd bin. I tend not to block people unless they have failed to turn up, but a private note made effectively means I'm not going to waste my time on them. |
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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago
North Cambs |
"If there was no explanation, or a very poor one, I'd bin. I tend not to block people unless they have failed to turn up, but a private note made effectively means I'm not going to waste my time on them."
I don't really block anyone but those who are abusive, however, if messed around I do on occasion simply remove people from my friends list.
I always find it amusing when on occasion I am messed around only to find I have then been blocked. As if those involved are worried that I might then become abusive..not my style at all. |
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"Depends. Like with every other human scenario in life, no two are the same and a 'one size fits all' solution is rarely satisfactory. There are exceptions of course.
This is kind of where I stand. I did have one example of a couple who after suddenly going incommunicado the week before an arranged meet, got back in touch a couple of months later and explained things asking if I would be prepared to consider arranging another meet. It hasn't happened yet, however, at least they got back to me and I am now hopeful that one day it might.."
but you said who messed you around with no reasonable explanation.
From what you've just said, something happened they disappeared when the came back explained what happened.
Different people will have different definitions of what being messed around means. I know what mine is and I wouldn't put up with anyone by my definition of the phrase.
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Depends on the circumstance and why they messed you about. If they just kinda disappeared then I'd be very wary. I had it recently with someone,we've messaged for quite a while now on the day of the meet I did't hear from him so I deleted his number and blocked on here. A few days later he contacted me saying he'd lost his phone,things happen I suppose whether it's the truth I don't know. Anyway I'm still speaking to him now and will meet,whether that's wise I don't know. It's not the end of the world is it. |
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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago
North Cambs |
"Depends. Like with every other human scenario in life, no two are the same and a 'one size fits all' solution is rarely satisfactory. There are exceptions of course.
This is kind of where I stand. I did have one example of a couple who after suddenly going incommunicado the week before an arranged meet, got back in touch a couple of months later and explained things asking if I would be prepared to consider arranging another meet. It hasn't happened yet, however, at least they got back to me and I am now hopeful that one day it might..but you said who messed you around with no reasonable explanation.
From what you've just said, something happened they disappeared when the came back explained what happened.
Different people will have different definitions of what being messed around means. I know what mine is and I wouldn't put up with anyone by my definition of the phrase.
"
That was just one explanation of where a second chance proved worth it...had I of binned them after the two months of no communication following their messing me around then the opportunity to meet would have been lost...hence the example |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try not to allow people to mess me around. I meet socially first in costa just down the road from where I work on my break, I'd be there anyway so no problem if they no show. I'm aware life can get in the way and people have genuine excuses for cancelling so always give a second chance. After that I would just bin them. |
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"Depends. Like with every other human scenario in life, no two are the same and a 'one size fits all' solution is rarely satisfactory. There are exceptions of course.
This is kind of where I stand. I did have one example of a couple who after suddenly going incommunicado the week before an arranged meet, got back in touch a couple of months later and explained things asking if I would be prepared to consider arranging another meet. It hasn't happened yet, however, at least they got back to me and I am now hopeful that one day it might..but you said who messed you around with no reasonable explanation.
From what you've just said, something happened they disappeared when the came back explained what happened.
Different people will have different definitions of what being messed around means. I know what mine is and I wouldn't put up with anyone by my definition of the phrase.
That was just one explanation of where a second chance proved worth it...had I of binned them after the two months of no communication following their messing me around then the opportunity to meet would have been lost...hence the example"
how would you have binned them you said you don't block people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try not to allow people to mess me around. I meet socially first in costa just down the road from where I work on my break, I'd be there anyway so no problem if they no show. I'm aware life can get in the way and people have genuine excuses for cancelling so always give a second chance. After that I would just bin them."
why by you? Shouldn't it be halfway?
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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago
North Cambs |
"Depends. Like with every other human scenario in life, no two are the same and a 'one size fits all' solution is rarely satisfactory. There are exceptions of course.
This is kind of where I stand. I did have one example of a couple who after suddenly going incommunicado the week before an arranged meet, got back in touch a couple of months later and explained things asking if I would be prepared to consider arranging another meet. It hasn't happened yet, however, at least they got back to me and I am now hopeful that one day it might..but you said who messed you around with no reasonable explanation.
From what you've just said, something happened they disappeared when the came back explained what happened.
Different people will have different definitions of what being messed around means. I know what mine is and I wouldn't put up with anyone by my definition of the phrase.
That was just one explanation of where a second chance proved worth it...had I of binned them after the two months of no communication following their messing me around then the opportunity to meet would have been lost...hence the examplehow would you have binned them you said you don't block people"
Just would have removed from friend list, which I imagine would have made it clear that I no longer wanted contact..
I truly do not understand the need to block anyone but those who are abusive...I am always happy to reopen communication, if not always happy to reconsider a meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try not to allow people to mess me around. I meet socially first in costa just down the road from where I work on my break, I'd be there anyway so no problem if they no show. I'm aware life can get in the way and people have genuine excuses for cancelling so always give a second chance. After that I would just bin them. why by you? Shouldn't it be halfway? "
I only want to meet local guys hun, I wouldn't expect people to travel. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We used to block very quickly for many different reasons.
Now we just block for rudeness or abusive messages.
Instead we use private notes. Sometimes a conversation will fizzle out and we feel that the door is there to be reopened. We've also learnt in our brief time that peoples wants and circumstances change. We may have messaged someone and they could have umpteen people they are talking to and then not need us as well. This may change and we are becoming easier with seeing messages deleted.
We feel most people deserve second chances, within reason. |
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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago
North Cambs |
"We used to block very quickly for many different reasons.
Now we just block for rudeness or abusive messages.
Instead we use private notes. Sometimes a conversation will fizzle out and we feel that the door is there to be reopened. We've also learnt in our brief time that peoples wants and circumstances change. We may have messaged someone and they could have umpteen people they are talking to and then not need us as well. This may change and we are becoming easier with seeing messages deleted.
We feel most people deserve second chances, within reason."
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"Depends. Like with every other human scenario in life, no two are the same and a 'one size fits all' solution is rarely satisfactory. There are exceptions of course.
This is kind of where I stand. I did have one example of a couple who after suddenly going incommunicado the week before an arranged meet, got back in touch a couple of months later and explained things asking if I would be prepared to consider arranging another meet. It hasn't happened yet, however, at least they got back to me and I am now hopeful that one day it might..but you said who messed you around with no reasonable explanation.
From what you've just said, something happened they disappeared when the came back explained what happened.
Different people will have different definitions of what being messed around means. I know what mine is and I wouldn't put up with anyone by my definition of the phrase.
That was just one explanation of where a second chance proved worth it...had I of binned them after the two months of no communication following their messing me around then the opportunity to meet would have been lost...hence the examplehow would you have binned them you said you don't block people
Just would have removed from friend list, which I imagine would have made it clear that I no longer wanted contact..
I truly do not understand the need to block anyone but those who are abusive...I am always happy to reopen communication, if not always happy to reconsider a meet "
oh right, i dont use my friends list, so i wouldnt have a clue |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm recalibrating what I want from the site, and being more selfish in my outlook.
If someone is prepared to make a little effort for me, I will do so in return. If it's clear that they're not really all that bothered about meeting and I'm kind of there on a reserve list if and when they ever need a plan B, C or D then whereas in the past I'd go chasing every now and then I won't now.
So nobody is 'binned' but the effort exerted into people that are clearly not that bothered is minimal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends. Like with every other human scenario in life, no two are the same and a 'one size fits all' solution is rarely satisfactory. There are exceptions of course.
This is kind of where I stand. I did have one example of a couple who after suddenly going incommunicado the week before an arranged meet, got back in touch a couple of months later and explained things asking if I would be prepared to consider arranging another meet. It hasn't happened yet, however, at least they got back to me and I am now hopeful that one day it might..but you said who messed you around with no reasonable explanation.
From what you've just said, something happened they disappeared when the came back explained what happened.
Different people will have different definitions of what being messed around means. I know what mine is and I wouldn't put up with anyone by my definition of the phrase.
That was just one explanation of where a second chance proved worth it...had I of binned them after the two months of no communication following their messing me around then the opportunity to meet would have been lost...hence the examplehow would you have binned them you said you don't block people
Just would have removed from friend list, which I imagine would have made it clear that I no longer wanted contact..
I truly do not understand the need to block anyone but those who are abusive...I am always happy to reopen communication, if not always happy to reconsider a meet "
I never add anyone as a friend that I haven't met first so if someone messed me about its an instant block ... That way no comeback from them |
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I react badly when you have arranged to meet a couple and then in the days before the date they go silent and don't reply to messages. Then, more often than not they cancel last minute with a lame excuse - usually blaming a sudden surprise period. So rude to not respond to messages when you are making plans. Although we had a funny excuse a few days ago when someone said they didn't want to meet because they were looking for something closer to home (we all live in the same small city)
MrsW |
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If we arrange a meet and something happens we would usually give them the benefit of the doubt (providing they let us know of course) let us down a second time (whatever the reason) that's it I'm afraid. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"Do you bin people who mess you around, especially if there is no reasonable explanation offered, or do you give them a second chance?"
It really depends on the circumstances, our mood at that given time and whether we believed them or not.
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