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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have always been the one with the higher sex drive but things seem to have changed.
Jools appears to be far hornier than I and mine seems to be loo fading.
Not completely tho 
I exercise almost daily, ear healthy and try to get enough sleep.
But it seems that my confidence has gone in the opposite direction to jools since we joined fab.
She has been in high demand where as I am, well.. Whatshisname.
The guy who is married to the woman with great boobs.
I am lucky to have her and we have fun.
But for whatever reason when we meet couples non of the women seem interested.
Age?
Looks?
Personality?
All
This has really kicked my confidence into touch and is really not helping, when combined with other factors.
Sex drive diminishing.
That said I am married to a beautiful, sexy lovely woman who I love.
But we here for fun, we have love with each other.
Any tips to increase sex drive? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes she looks great ! You lucky guy !
But ( I'm straight ) you have a good body look fit and seem too smile a lot !
Maybe you just need to take some time and find a couple who firstly enjoy the social side ? So as to get to know them and it's not just a jump into bed meet ?
Things might happen under less pressure and be more exciting ?
There are outside pressure that effect us guys without us realising so just try and relax ? Or as has been said take a time out until you feel more confident |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Cheers for the replies everyone. 
A break maybe needed.
Medication, well I got diagnosed with diabetes two years ago, lost 4 stone, feel great but yes am on meds. Lack of
Confidence has always been my enemy, combined with overthinking everything.
Maybe as said I need to learn to relax more and go with the flow.
Cheers again |
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Perhaps , if she is getting the attention, and you are losing confidence; it shows in your behaviour;
Perhaps you don't , as a result of that, come across as happy and confident as you might have been before?
Women are very drawn to behaviour and character, more that looks; so if you look less fun, because you are less happy, they won't be so interested .
An extreme case, but a freind of mine is fat, and by his own admission fucking ugly; women flock to him because he is very witty, very funny, a really nice bloke.
Conversely I have another acquaintance who is strikingly handsome, " Greek god look" and so on, but is possibly the most boring man on the planet. He never gets laid.
So could your feelings be showing? Don you feel tense? A bit stressed/ depressed? Do you need to relax and laugh a bit? Be a bit more positive?
Apologies for the amateur psychoanalysis, just a thought... |
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As I said to someone the other day if it doesn't feel good, stop doing it.
With any problem I think the best approach is to eliminate the things you have control over then work on bringing those you don't under control. You've recognised that fab is contributing to your problem and seem to be quite self aware.
For what it's worth from an old bird you look just fine to me  |
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As the male half, you are in great shape! Own it! That's shape I want to get myself in, so take it as some jealousy. We notice N gets more attention at times, so don't take it too hard. Without being bi, I guess men will never be attracted to you, but as some above said, take some socials, just chill out, get to know people
B |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cheers for the replies everyone.
A break maybe needed.
Medication, well I got diagnosed with diabetes two years ago, lost 4 stone, feel great but yes am on meds. Lack of
Confidence has always been my enemy, combined with overthinking everything.
Maybe as said I need to learn to relax more and go with the flow.
Cheers again "
I might be the diabetes. If you drink before you play it might raise your blood sugar. So check your blood sugar before you go out and watch how much you drink and eat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take a break from swinging for a while? Getting a lot of knock backs would have an effect on anyone's confidence. "
wot they said - when I was on here as a couple with first wife, it happened to me as well, so we both decided to give FAB/AFF short breaks - it worked out well  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bro you seem so negative even your name has some kind of negativity attached to it .
You need to increase your dopamine levels and your testosterone, take some you time , rediscover yourself learn to appreciate yourself ,your negativity is becoming so damaging to you and your self esteem.
I guess you feel like your masculinity is deminishing with your lack of drive your falling into a rut .
You just need to re-energise your labedo find your mojo , maybe see if the Mrs might look at tantric sex with you , just an idea .
Hope your work it out mate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bro you seem so negative even your name has some kind of negativity attached to it .
You need to increase your dopamine levels and your testosterone, take some you time , rediscover yourself learn to appreciate yourself ,your negativity is becoming so damaging to you and your self esteem.
I guess you feel like your masculinity is deminishing with your lack of drive your falling into a rut .
You just need to re-energise your labedo find your mojo , maybe see if the Mrs might look at tantric sex with you , just an idea .
Hope your work it out mate "
Well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bro you seem so negative even your name has some kind of negativity attached to it .
You need to increase your dopamine levels and your testosterone, take some you time , rediscover yourself learn to appreciate yourself ,your negativity is becoming so damaging to you and your self esteem.
I guess you feel like your masculinity is deminishing with your lack of drive your falling into a rut .
You just need to re-energise your labedo find your mojo , maybe see if the Mrs might look at tantric sex with you , just an idea .
Hope your work it out mate
Well said "
i would maybe suggest taking some time out . Just you and him . Reastablish the bond between you both . I mean you cock not your wife lol
find out what he likes and doesnt . Work together both physically and mentally . Everything we feel isnt just physical |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you started any new medication? I started taking sertraline just before Xmas and my sex drive has gone way down."
This is a very important question - if you are taking any medication look into side affects very thoroughly. Speaking from first hand things such as this have a huge impact. On a similar note, perhaps there is something beyond the lack of self confidence?
If it just is that then consider this. There is a disproportionate number of men to women on this site - so she will get a lot of attention. Whilst as a guy you have the odds against you. But the key and crucial point is this, you are the couple an she has chosen to be with you and swing with you.
I know these are weak points but perhaps look at them in a positive light. Maybe look at just enjoying one another for a while and take a break?
Hope things get better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you started any new medication? I started taking sertraline just before Xmas and my sex drive has gone way down.
This is a very important question - if you are taking any medication look into side affects very thoroughly. Speaking from first hand things such as this have a huge impact. On a similar note, perhaps there is something beyond the lack of self confidence?
If it just is that then consider this. There is a disproportionate number of men to women on this site - so she will get a lot of attention. Whilst as a guy you have the odds against you. But the key and crucial point is this, you are the couple an she has chosen to be with you and swing with you.
I know these are weak points but perhaps look at them in a positive light. Maybe look at just enjoying one another for a while and take a break?
Hope things get better. "
also true . Docs wanted to put me on beta blockers for the anxiety . I refused because of there ability to cause erectile disfunction . Id rather be overthinking over stuff than adding mr flop to it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you started any new medication? I started taking sertraline just before Xmas and my sex drive has gone way down.
This is a very important question - if you are taking any medication look into side affects very thoroughly. Speaking from first hand things such as this have a huge impact. On a similar note, perhaps there is something beyond the lack of self confidence?
If it just is that then consider this. There is a disproportionate number of men to women on this site - so she will get a lot of attention. Whilst as a guy you have the odds against you. But the key and crucial point is this, you are the couple an she has chosen to be with you and swing with you.
I know these are weak points but perhaps look at them in a positive light. Maybe look at just enjoying one another for a while and take a break?
Hope things get better.
also true . Docs wanted to put me on beta blockers for the anxiety . I refused because of there ability to cause erectile disfunction . Id rather be overthinking over stuff than adding mr flop to it "
Personally I'd go with the beta blockers. Though I do not know the extent of your anxiety. I committed to taking them last year as my anxiety was escalating other mental health issues. If it's something you can deal with, without medication though, all the better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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First...I think a lot if ppl have said it here check your meds. While you're at it, get your testosterone level checked. It's a simple blood test. Low T can cause low sex drive, among other things. It also regulates bp, heart rate,moods and sleep patterns. We all slow producing it eventually.
2nd and more importantly...swinging is driven by the ladies. It centers on them. Even in perfect conditions she will always get more attention. Until you reach your 50's that is(I apologize for not checking your age).
Women naturally outlive us. So sometime in the mid 50's the number of eligible men, with functioning peckers shifts so that those of us still in operation become in-demand.
Until then...its part of the lifestyle I'm afraid. |
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