FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Would you skip the social?
Would you skip the social?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I see many profiles that say must have a social first or only meet in clubs.
Now if you messaged with a person, webcamed , and chatted on the phone. Loved everything about them and you both happened to be free and very close in distance at that moment.
Then they asked you to meet right away.
Would you still scheduled that social/club meet for next week/month or have a sense of adventure and live for the moment.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always meet in public first, that's not to say I don't shag on a first meet because I do, but my safty comes first and I always meet for a chat and a drink in a public place first
It's different for guys |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm implying that the guy wasn't nefarious or crazy.
Like if you happened to find someone around the corner on fab and everything checked out.
I'm really trying to find out if socials/club meets are so ingrained into people's psyche . That they don't live for the moment or take a chance anymore.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm implying that the guy wasn't nefarious or crazy.
Like if you happened to find someone around the corner on fab and everything checked out.
I'm really trying to find out if socials/club meets are so ingrained into people's psyche . That they don't live for the moment or take a chance anymore.
"
If we lived in an ideal world.... ... But too many bad things happen... Safety first x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see many profiles that say must have a social first or only meet in clubs.
Now if you messaged with a person, webcamed , and chatted on the phone. Loved everything about them and you both happened to be free and very close in distance at that moment.
Then they asked you to meet right away.
Would you still scheduled that social/club meet for next week/month or have a sense of adventure and live for the moment.
"
I've always fucked on the first meet - but that's probably because my pre-meet vetting process is so bloody thorough! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm implying that the guy wasn't nefarious or crazy.
Like if you happened to find someone around the corner on fab and everything checked out.
I'm really trying to find out if socials/club meets are so ingrained into people's psyche . That they don't live for the moment or take a chance anymore.
If we lived in an ideal world.... ... But too many bad things happen... Safety first x"
True indeed..... But adventure sometimes makes for a better story.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm implying that the guy wasn't nefarious or crazy.
Like if you happened to find someone around the corner on fab and everything checked out.
I'm really trying to find out if socials/club meets are so ingrained into people's psyche . That they don't live for the moment or take a chance anymore.
If we lived in an ideal world.... ... But too many bad things happen... Safety first x
True indeed..... But adventure sometimes makes for a better story.
"
Not if your dead or abused  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I see many profiles that say must have a social first or only meet in clubs.
Now if you messaged with a person, webcamed , and chatted on the phone. Loved everything about them and you both happened to be free and very close in distance at that moment.
Then they asked you to meet right away.
Would you still scheduled that social/club meet for next week/month or have a sense of adventure and live for the moment.
I've always fucked on the first meet - but that's probably because my pre-meet vetting process is so bloody thorough! "
Good for you.... Sometimes I find doing the same things over and over becomes boring.
Like going to the same restaurant and ordering the same thing every time.
I would go crazy if all my meets were the same.
Chat , social, schedule sex , wash , rinse , repeat. |
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"I see many profiles that say must have a social first or only meet in clubs.
Now if you messaged with a person, webcamed , and chatted on the phone. Loved everything about them and you both happened to be free and very close in distance at that moment.
Then they asked you to meet right away.
Would you still scheduled that social/club meet for next week/month or have a sense of adventure and live for the moment.
"
Yes i would, as cant tell if theres chemistry without physically meeting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm implying that the guy wasn't nefarious or crazy.
Like if you happened to find someone around the corner on fab and everything checked out.
I'm really trying to find out if socials/club meets are so ingrained into people's psyche . That they don't live for the moment or take a chance anymore.
If we lived in an ideal world.... ... But too many bad things happen... Safety first x
True indeed..... But adventure sometimes makes for a better story.
Not if your dead or abused "
There has not been a first initial meet I haven't fucked on ... I just go about it safely x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm implying that the guy wasn't nefarious or crazy.
Like if you happened to find someone around the corner on fab and everything checked out.
I'm really trying to find out if socials/club meets are so ingrained into people's psyche . That they don't live for the moment or take a chance anymore.
If we lived in an ideal world.... ... But too many bad things happen... Safety first x
True indeed..... But adventure sometimes makes for a better story.
Not if your dead or abused "
Because having met somone in starbuks makes them 100% safe... |
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By *helbeeCouple
over a year ago
Nuneaton |
My safety comes first. I always meet in a public place ie a pub/coffee shop. I will not put myself at risk for anyone esp in this day an age, also if you dont like each other you can both come away without awkwardness an feeling uncomfortable, as its neutral ground etc, also it shows me that a guy is decent if he wants to meet me in a public place. That he puts my safety first an that says to me everything.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never skip a social. Always make it clear that it is not a given we will play and always meet in clubs. Too many cranks on here. As a single fem my safety comes first. If people don't understand that they are not for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't do socials but i don't meet on a whim either. It's worked brilliantly for me so far and I've not yet had a no show and I've not met anyone that wasn't what i expected. I don't think I'd risk changing that....although I'm not one for saying never  |
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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
We don't do socials.....we chat on here and if everyone is happy we meet up and play - we have already decided that there is attraction and personality before we agree to meet up. It is not for everyone but it works for us  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would still meet in a public place for a coffee/drink but with the option of moving on elsewhere. But if the connection felt right and we were both free then yes, a spur of the moment would do it for me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't really do socials. I think Ive had 3 actual socials and a couple of drinks before getting to the sex,but sex was already agreed before the drinks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm implying that the guy wasn't nefarious or crazy.
Like if you happened to find someone around the corner on fab and everything checked out.
I'm really trying to find out if socials/club meets are so ingrained into people's psyche . That they don't live for the moment or take a chance anymore.
If we lived in an ideal world.... ... But too many bad things happen... Safety first x
True indeed..... But adventure sometimes makes for a better story.
Not if your dead or abused
Because having met somone in starbuks makes them 100% safe..."
Well they are less likely to do either in Starbucks.. Or after as they will have been seen publicly with other person |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm implying that the guy wasn't nefarious or crazy.
Like if you happened to find someone around the corner on fab and everything checked out.
I'm really trying to find out if socials/club meets are so ingrained into people's psyche . That they don't live for the moment or take a chance anymore.
If we lived in an ideal world.... ... But too many bad things happen... Safety first x
True indeed..... But adventure sometimes makes for a better story.
Not if your dead or abused
Because having met somone in starbuks makes them 100% safe...
Well they are less likely to do either in Starbucks.. Or after as they will have been seen publicly with other person "
Not if we look at the record of most serial killers....
Even a phsyco can be perfectly calm and friendly for half an hour in a coffe shop |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd just shag them.
As above, cut the bull and skip straight to it"
Depends on what you call 'bull' though. As per the OP, it's assuming chat/ cam/ something that means I feel comfortable with the person/ has occurred... Just skipping the social.
Men seem to think with their cock some (most?) times. They jump at the "fuck now" message, then wonder why the other person doesn't show up. |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"We prefer to meet for one drink in our local pub to make sure we get in then back to ours for some fun, we have always played on the first meet."
This is exactly what we do. We call it a social with the hope of play. We aren't usually interested in purely socials without the possibility of play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't really do spontaneous - I have fucked on a first meet but only where that's planned, after initially meeting in a public place. If it wasn't planned the chances of me being waxed, dressed, made up etc are slim to none so I wouldn't meet on the spur of the moment, no. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see many profiles that say must have a social first or only meet in clubs.
Now if you messaged with a person, webcamed , and chatted on the phone. Loved everything about them and you both happened to be free and very close in distance at that moment.
Then they asked you to meet right away.
Would you still scheduled that social/club meet for next week/month or have a sense of adventure and live for the moment.
"
You can have a social and then progress immediately after if both agreeable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm implying that the guy wasn't nefarious or crazy.
Like if you happened to find someone around the corner on fab and everything checked out.
I'm really trying to find out if socials/club meets are so ingrained into people's psyche . That they don't live for the moment or take a chance anymore.
"
You mean fuck n go? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We don't do socials.....we chat on here and if everyone is happy we meet up and play - we have already decided that there is attraction and personality before we agree to meet up. It is not for everyone but it works for us "
Couples circumstances are totally different to a single woman. You are by far less vulnerable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm implying that the guy wasn't nefarious or crazy.
Like if you happened to find someone around the corner on fab and everything checked out.
I'm really trying to find out if socials/club meets are so ingrained into people's psyche . That they don't live for the moment or take a chance anymore.
If we lived in an ideal world.... ... But too many bad things happen... Safety first x
True indeed..... But adventure sometimes makes for a better story.
Not if your dead or abused
Because having met somone in starbuks makes them 100% safe...
Well they are less likely to do either in Starbucks.. Or after as they will have been seen publicly with other person
Not if we look at the record of most serial killers....
Even a phsyco can be perfectly calm and friendly for half an hour in a coffe shop"
I said it was my way... I didn't say it was a full proof way.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No because if someone agreed to what we have in mind without establishing that we were fairly sane first we would know they didn't properly understand what we're after  "
Haha! Great comment |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I always meet in public first, that's not to say I don't shag on a first meet because I do, but my safty comes first and I always meet for a chat and a drink in a public place first
It's different for guys "
^ this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always meet in public first, that's not to say I don't shag on a first meet because I do, but my safty comes first and I always meet for a chat and a drink in a public place first
It's different for guys
^ this"
Snap! |
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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
"We don't do socials.....we chat on here and if everyone is happy we meet up and play - we have already decided that there is attraction and personality before we agree to meet up. It is not for everyone but it works for us
Couples circumstances are totally different to a single woman. You are by far less vulnerable."
Oh I know that and if we're meeting on my own it would be in a public place with a friend sat two seats away watching me....I have it a lot easier than singles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We don't do socials.....we chat on here and if everyone is happy we meet up and play - we have already decided that there is attraction and personality before we agree to meet up. It is not for everyone but it works for us "
Works for us too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We add in "social meets" to show we're not pushy if the guy/couple we're meeting are cautious and it does offer a safety net just in case our date doesn't turn out as the profile and that works both ways. However, we have limited time so we don't make frivolous social dates and -  - we almost always shag on the first date. |
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"I see many profiles that say must have a social first or only meet in clubs.
Now if you messaged with a person, webcamed , and chatted on the phone. Loved everything about them and you both happened to be free and very close in distance at that moment.
Then they asked you to meet right away.
Would you still scheduled that social/club meet for next week/month or have a sense of adventure and live for the moment.
I've always fucked on the first meet - but that's probably because my pre-meet vetting process is so bloody thorough!
Good for you.... Sometimes I find doing the same things over and over becomes boring.
Like going to the same restaurant and ordering the same thing every time.
I would go crazy if all my meets were the same.
Chat , social, schedule sex , wash , rinse , repeat. "
Wow...do you have that many meets?
Can't see any indication of that on your profile... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always meet in public first, that's not to say I don't shag on a first meet because I do, but my safty comes first and I always meet for a chat and a drink in a public place first
It's different for guys "
There are bat shit crazy women As well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All depends on the woman. The ones that I'm particularly attracted to are the risk takers with high level of excitement and hense have had 2 out of 3 meets where the social was not even mentioned. Yes you do need to message and chat well first...and listen to your gut feeling. It's there for a reason. |
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"I see many profiles that say must have a social first or only meet in clubs.
Now if you messaged with a person, webcamed , and chatted on the phone. Loved everything about them and you both happened to be free and very close in distance at that moment.
Then they asked you to meet right away.
Would you still scheduled that social/club meet for next week/month or have a sense of adventure and live for the moment.
"
Yes, as I've found a picture/chat doesn't equate to chemistry. I've dodged many a bullet meeting socially first, and shuddered at the thought of what would have happened if we'd met "cold" for sex!  |
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"No because if someone agreed to what we have in mind without establishing that we were fairly sane first we would know they didn't properly understand what we're after "
This too! Anyone prepared to meet me at home knowing I like extreme play, use wax, restraints etc I'd consider a complete nut and not for me! |
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"We don't do socials.....we chat on here and if everyone is happy we meet up and play - we have already decided that there is attraction and personality before we agree to meet up. It is not for everyone but it works for us
Couples circumstances are totally different to a single woman. You are by far less vulnerable."
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"I'm implying that the guy wasn't nefarious or crazy.
Like if you happened to find someone around the corner on fab and everything checked out.
I'm really trying to find out if socials/club meets are so ingrained into people's psyche . That they don't live for the moment or take a chance anymore.
If we lived in an ideal world.... ... But too many bad things happen... Safety first x
True indeed..... But adventure sometimes makes for a better story.
Not if your dead or abused
Because having met somone in starbuks makes them 100% safe..."
More safer than not, i use my gut instinct when i meet people, to date it not been wrong yet.
If people aren't happy to meet me socially, then they are sort person I'm interested in meeting |
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"I see many profiles that say must have a social first or only meet in clubs.
Now if you messaged with a person, webcamed , and chatted on the phone. Loved everything about them and you both happened to be free and very close in distance at that moment.
Then they asked you to meet right away.
Would you still scheduled that social/club meet for next week/month or have a sense of adventure and live for the moment.
"
Chances are the social would lead to play
But a social would still happen because it doesn't matter how much you've chatted/ cammed, meeting in person is different
Spontaneous is great, and in a club environment that's pretty much what happens
If someone can't get a drink for half an hour, I question their claim of wanting regular fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've done both ways round...socials are always with the possibility of play depending on some things like mother nature...We have also arranged to meet for play but always with the proviso that if there is no spark from either side, no play will occur... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well most blokes would meet straight away but women are different most would still want that social meet but there is those out there who would jump straight into bed who say they want a social first |
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I never do socials and only meet in clubs, and normally have sex on the 1st meet.
But then most, if not all UK swingers clubs are on premises clubs so I shag on site
So if I had arranged to meet him next month but we both happened to be in the same club that night and we got on all right...... live for the moment |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Chances are the social would lead to play
But a social would still happen because it doesn't matter how much you've chatted/ cammed, meeting in person is different
Spontaneous is great, and in a club environment that's pretty much what happens
If someone can't get a drink for half an hour, I question their claim of wanting regular fun "
When I first joined I was naive enough to believe when a woman says social/coffee that for me that's exactly what it meant and I had no intention of looking for any more than that on my first meet. I got a shock when I declined as I wasn't prepared (no condoms) and I had no time for more than a coffee as I had shuffled a work meeting to accommodate the social ( she picked the timing) Needless to say she felt she had been rejected. So its good to be clear but then also don't get tits up if you want more and don't get it. She didn't agree to my ranches for more the next time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm implying that the guy wasn't nefarious or crazy.
Like if you happened to find someone around the corner on fab and everything checked out.
I'm really trying to find out if socials/club meets are so ingrained into people's psyche . That they don't live for the moment or take a chance anymore.
You mean fuck n go?"
Spontaneous meeting doesnt have to mean fuck and go.
A few years back i met a girl id been chatting to who wasnfinally free that night ended up staying the whole weekend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah always do a social there's nothing worse than going no to someone's house they open the door and your like oh shit "
"Hey is steve here!?" Id ask before taking off my balaclava :p
"Oh right wrong house sorry" back on the bike :p
Jk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm implying that the guy wasn't nefarious or crazy.
Like if you happened to find someone around the corner on fab and everything checked out.
I'm really trying to find out if socials/club meets are so ingrained into people's psyche . That they don't live for the moment or take a chance anymore.
If we lived in an ideal world.... ... But too many bad things happen... Safety first x
True indeed..... But adventure sometimes makes for a better story.
Not if your dead or abused
Because having met somone in starbuks makes them 100% safe...
More safer than not, i use my gut instinct when i meet people, to date it not been wrong yet.
If people aren't happy to meet me socially, then they are sort person I'm interested in meeting"
I prefer to turn up in stab proof clothing and and wearingnsteel toe caps and gloves with reinforved knuckles :p |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No because if someone agreed to what we have in mind without establishing that we were fairly sane first we would know they didn't properly understand what we're after
This too! Anyone prepared to meet me at home knowing I like extreme play, use wax, restraints etc I'd consider a complete nut and not for me!"
Because you instantly poubce on anyone whoncrosses the threshold?
No sit down and have a chat on the sofa, or talk while looking at your equipment and discussing what theyre ok with? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Chances are the social would lead to play
But a social would still happen because it doesn't matter how much you've chatted/ cammed, meeting in person is different
Spontaneous is great, and in a club environment that's pretty much what happens
If someone can't get a drink for half an hour, I question their claim of wanting regular fun
When I first joined I was naive enough to believe when a woman says social/coffee that for me that's exactly what it meant and I had no intention of looking for any more than that on my first meet. I got a shock when I declined as I wasn't prepared (no condoms) and I had no time for more than a coffee as I had shuffled a work meeting to accommodate the social ( she picked the timing) Needless to say she felt she had been rejected. So its good to be clear but then also don't get tits up if you want more and don't get it. She didn't agree to my ranches for more the next time."
That's on her to be clear about what she mesns - if I'm meeting someone for purely a social social it's generally during the day, for a coffee, and I'll be going back to work afterwards. If it's a social possibly followed by more then I'd pre-warn them to have a shower  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember i once had a social with someone. As soon as we sat at the table for a drink. We both text each other saying 'we should have got a room'.
..there's no point faffing about. If the attraction is there. No need for a social unless that's all you both want. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I see many profiles that say must have a social first or only meet in clubs.
Now if you messaged with a person, webcamed , and chatted on the phone. Loved everything about them and you both happened to be free and very close in distance at that moment.
Then they asked you to meet right away.
Would you still scheduled that social/club meet for next week/month or have a sense of adventure and live for the moment.
I've always fucked on the first meet - but that's probably because my pre-meet vetting process is so bloody thorough!
Good for you.... Sometimes I find doing the same things over and over becomes boring.
Like going to the same restaurant and ordering the same thing every time.
I would go crazy if all my meets were the same.
Chat , social, schedule sex , wash , rinse , repeat.
Wow...do you have that many meets?
Can't see any indication of that on your profile..."
I'm sorry, I didn't realize I couldn't ask a question because I don't have any meets displayed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always insist on a social.
We've broken this rule on two occasions. Both times were an absolute disaster due to major personality flaws with one or both of the other couple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Still do a social first, you could just bring it forward to that day if it works for both parties. For us, a social first has worked well and for single females especially it makes perfect sense for safety reasons. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me i'd say its been about 80/20 in favour of playing straight away no social meet. Though that could be because usually I like to chat to people first to make sure we're on the same wave length etc. |
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"I see many profiles that say must have a social first or only meet in clubs.
Now if you messaged with a person, webcamed , and chatted on the phone. Loved everything about them and you both happened to be free and very close in distance at that moment.
Then they asked you to meet right away.
Would you still scheduled that social/club meet for next week/month or have a sense of adventure and live for the moment.
I've always fucked on the first meet - but that's probably because my pre-meet vetting process is so bloody thorough!
Good for you.... Sometimes I find doing the same things over and over becomes boring.
Like going to the same restaurant and ordering the same thing every time.
I would go crazy if all my meets were the same.
Chat , social, schedule sex , wash , rinse , repeat.
Wow...do you have that many meets?
Can't see any indication of that on your profile...
I'm sorry, I didn't realize I couldn't ask a question because I don't have any meets displayed. "
You can ask whatever you like, but I'm glad we got that cleared up |
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