FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > married men i know what you're thinking but?

married men i know what you're thinking but?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Im a married guy, The trouble is ever since my early 20's i have been interested in swinging, when i was single i never did anything about because i was and probably I'm quite a shy guy. Then i got married and over the years sex became less important to my wife, we have been married for 24 years and i have never as much touched another women. The trouble is sex is very important to me and when i took a look at this site i saw how much i was missing. Im not sure what to do next, if i could meet a married women that would be perfect or even a couple what does everybody think, i guess lots of you will think I'm a tosser but I'm not. If you're a genuine married women reading this please do get in touch.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I think you should do what you want to do, not what the rest of us think.

All I say is don't discuss your wife with strangers when she doesn't have a right of reply.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman over a year ago

stourbridge area

What do u want us to say OP ?... only you can decide what your next step is ....

Good luck x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *andS33Couple over a year ago

Yorkshire

Be prepared for a barrage of abuse about cheating on your wife etc, hope you're thick skinned as you'll get shot down with a thread like this

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

"Im a married guy, The trouble is ever since my early 20's i have been interested in swinging, when i was single i never did anything about because i was and probably I'm quite a shy guy. Then i got married and over the years sex became less important to my wife, we have been married for 24 years and i have never as much touched another women. The trouble is sex is very important to me and when i took a look at this site i saw how much i was missing. Im not sure what to do next, if i could meet a married women that would be perfect or even a couple what does everybody think, i guess lots of you will think I'm a tosser but I'm not. If you're a genuine married women reading this please do get in touch."

I wouldn't say you were a tosser, but I would put your marital status and what you're looking for on your profile, so people can make an informed choice. Good luck!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

welcome

there are loads that play with married men, so focus your efforts on searching and starting the communication with them.

good luck

and never justify your position here, nor expect others to if they don't meet married people.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have you spoken to your wife about things? Xx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ondcpl4meetCouple over a year ago

North of the river

Dear Diedre, .......yawnnnnnn.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

as a married man who's been on and off here more times than I care to to think let me just say you will get a tonne of abuse from women on here...not all as ther e are single ladies and couples who will play but in my experience I've found it difficult to find just put it on your profile as previously stated and see what happens just don't expect a full inbox anytime soon lol..have fun

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

look everyone, thank you. I kind of guess what type of response i would get and it was what i was thinking if I'm honest. I think the best thing for me is to admit i have had a rush of bloody, a mid life mini crisis and quietly go back to the real world and thank everyone for chatting.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Go out and enjoy yourself

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Or talk to your wife

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Op, my only question would be have.you spoken to your wife about how your feeling? Communication is always the best route. I don't condemn people who are married coming on here. We all have our wants and desires and sometimes that lack of communication at home is what drives people here.

All I'd say is think carefully about your choices before deciding what to do, if you want excitement go for it, its your life but also be careful if what may become of it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman over a year ago

stourbridge area

"look everyone, thank you. I kind of guess what type of response i would get and it was what i was thinking if I'm honest. I think the best thing for me is to admit i have had a rush of bloody, a mid life mini crisis and quietly go back to the real world and thank everyone for chatting.

You dont actually ... talking to your wife would be a start .... she might be feeling dissatisfied too .... this seems to be all about you ... you can do something about this situation ....you need to communicate ... good luck OP

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hi, I'm in a similar situation, a good bit older than you but decided to go down this route.

My profile is up front and honest but I've got to say that your inbox might not be as full as you hope.

Whether it's me my profile or being married not a lot has happened in the time I've been here but plodding on and ever hopeful.

So good luck to you and stick with it. Jim

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ivemeyoursoulWoman over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

You will be a tosser as you put it if you go behind your wife's back,but you know that.I don't know what to suggest other than talk to your wife.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unless your 100% sure that you want extra marital sex and are prepared for the possible consequences then I'd say, have a re think.

Depending on the type of person you are will depend on how you deal with the guilt (if you have any) and how that will affect your behaviour around your wife.

Just be honest on your profile... If you decide to stay. If your just testing the waters and just want to have some dirty chat etc then let women know. Nothing worse than a married guy who plans a meet, gets an attack of the guilts at the 11th hour and goes unlos.

Good luck

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I suppose the question I would ask is this. You say you've always been interested in swinging. What aspects of swinging interest you? Or is this just a way of finding some sexual outlet as an individual in what you might consider to be less risky to your marriage than say, an affair? The 2 are infinitely different and you may get slightly different responses depending on your answer

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ittenbutnotshyCouple over a year ago

North Manchester

We choose not to knowingly meet married guys and so just block anyone who advertises the fact in the forums, messages or profile.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP fully understand your plight, had years of little or no sex, spoke to her about it many times & tried everything.

And she said it was her had lost her sex drive. I suggested counseling etc etc t she refused even when i threatened to leave, so after 12 months of no sex however much i loved her and today I still do, I new it wasn't going to change. Sometimes now't you can do about it.

In the end I did what was necessary and pulled the bandaid off!!

All the smart arses who have never been in your situation or mine, have no idea how hurtful it is to anyone to be denied sex and physical contact from their life partner, the woman/man they spent many years with and love, not to even kiss you anymore, it effects your mood, work everything.

A marriage is a two way street, i still see her now and her sex drive has not returned over 3 years since we separated. I did the right thing for myself and thats all you can do!!

Good Luck fella.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

I have a soft spot for married guys

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

canny approach but were out as we cant see any reason to invest in you rather than a muscular young hung unmarried uncomplicated guy with no ties

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OP fully understand your plight, had years of little or no sex, spoke to her about it many times & tried everything.

In the end I did what was necessary and pulled the bandaid off!!

A marriage is a two way street, i still see her now and her sex drive has not returned over 3 years since we separated. I did the right thing for myself and thats all you can do!!

Good Luck fella. "

Whilst I do agree with this, I have been on the other side of this as well. The lack of sex and communication drove my ex marriage apart. We each do what we feel we need to do, in the case of my ex husband it was him having an affair behind my back. At the time this, for me, was horrendous and heartbreaking, now though, it was a thing that obvious needed to happen and we are both much happier now with new partners.

As I said in my post above I don't condemn what anyone does but do encourage them to look at the consequences this may have in life.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

"I think you should do what you want to do, not what the rest of us think.

All I say is don't discuss your wife with strangers when she doesn't have a right of reply."

This is the most and only sensible answer, especially the last sentence

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *hell and jCouple over a year ago

doncaster

Just di whst you want a lot of guys on here married and women too xx there partners not no xx we meet single guys married guys cpls too we hide nothing from each other xx we not judge either

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My wife and are both on here we share everything. Maybe talk me her and see if she wants to swing

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I no how u feel I'm also very shy but love the thought of swinging

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm not going to say you're a tosser but why not discuss the fact that you need more sex with your wife? If she's not amenable, maybe she'd give you permission...and if not perhaps it's time to move on. In my experience it's not the sex that damages relationships it's the deceit. Good luck.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You clearly don't care what your wife thinks about you cheating, so why would you care what a load of strangers on the internet think of you having an affair?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do exactly what you want to do , but consider first the risks you are taking .

Not just the emotional , but the physical .

It's gonna be a tough one explaining an std if she isn't playing around too .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

I will not meet a married men but that is not because of some perceived morality

However, I will not judge him either as I am not privy to the exact circumstances

I have, on one occasion, seen a marriage saved by the 'cheating'. Having said that, the person he was 'cheating' with was a very nice woman who made certain that any negative impact on his relationship with his wife is kept to the barest minimum

I am not going to go into the details as although I do not think they are the type of people who would be on this site, it is nevertheless a unique set of circumstances which could identify them were someone from here to know them

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

it's your decision to make.

just be aware the fallout has the potential to hurt more than just you...i imagine friends/family are pretty ennwined by this point.

it's your coin toss, sex life vs the risk of whatever fallout it would cause if you were caught vs any guilt you may feel..alot to think about. think well and good luck whatever you decide

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *urvymamaWoman over a year ago

Doncaster

"OP fully understand your plight, had years of little or no sex, spoke to her about it many times & tried everything.

In the end I did what was necessary and pulled the bandaid off!!

A marriage is a two way street, i still see her now and her sex drive has not returned over 3 years since we separated. I did the right thing for myself and thats all you can do!!

Good Luck fella. "

I was in the same situation for almost 4 years, became miserable and starting comfort eating to cope with the constant rejection from the person I loved most in the world but stayed faithful to, have him then leave me for the woman he was having an affair with for all that time and it completely blew my world apart.

Don't assume the constant rejection leads everyone to cheat, it doesn't, but people usually do need an outlet, mine was food and I've been trying hard ever since to loose the weight from comfort eating the way I did ever since

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

i have read all the messages and i think its fair to say people have not pulled any punches. I care very much what my wife thinks so people are wrong to say i don't. So I'm going to put this down to experience and move on. I was not looking for anyone to give me an answer and maybe i was too honest, maybe not but thanks to everyone for contributing to my post even if you gave me a hard time.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i have read all the messages and i think its fair to say people have not pulled any punches. I care very much what my wife thinks so people are wrong to say i don't. So I'm going to put this down to experience and move on. I was not looking for anyone to give me an answer and maybe i was too honest, maybe not but thanks to everyone for contributing to my post even if you gave me a hard time. "

You say 'I was not looking for anyone to give me an answer' but you wrote in your original post 'what does everybody think'.

Perhaps if you don't want an answer, don't ask a question?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Were you looking for permission, perhaps?

So, I take it that it's not swinging that interests you, per se...?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This will roll for a while longer yet, the evening crowd are just getting warmed up....

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

Are you able to talk to your wife about it? Your sex life I mean.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You say 'I was not looking for anyone to give me an answer' but you wrote in your original post 'what does everybody think'.

Perhaps if you don't want an answer, don't ask a question?

Yes your right, it was badly worded I'm sorry what else can i say.

Were you looking for permission, perhaps?

So, I take it that it's not swinging that interests you, per se...?

I guess i just wanted to have one incredible erotic experience in my life, i know have should have done it years ago but i was just not a very confident guy.

I think i should stop I'm just making a fool of myself, getting my words tied up

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You say 'I was not looking for anyone to give me an answer' but you wrote in your original post 'what does everybody think'.

Perhaps if you don't want an answer, don't ask a question?

Yes your right, it was badly worded I'm sorry what else can i say.

Were you looking for permission, perhaps?

So, I take it that it's not swinging that interests you, per se...?

I guess i just wanted to have one incredible erotic experience in my life, i know have should have done it years ago but i was just not a very confident guy.

I think i should stop I'm just making a fool of myself, getting my words tied up"

Your not making.a fool of yourself at all. We all have our thoughts and feelings so I think you have to look at yourself and what you really want and then make your decisions based on that.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You say 'I was not looking for anyone to give me an answer' but you wrote in your original post 'what does everybody think'.

Perhaps if you don't want an answer, don't ask a question?

Yes your right, it was badly worded I'm sorry what else can i say.

Were you looking for permission, perhaps?

So, I take it that it's not swinging that interests you, per se...?

I guess i just wanted to have one incredible erotic experience in my life, i know have should have done it years ago but i was just not a very confident guy.

I think i should stop I'm just making a fool of myself, getting my words tied up"

Actually, you're not. I'm not trying to make a moral judgement, I'm not in any position to do that...sorry if my question was too blunt, you've clarified something from your OP that I was curious about...I hope you find what you're looking for once you've worked out what it is...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *urvymamaWoman over a year ago

Doncaster

Well those messages were Uncalled for, but being judged in such a negative way by some for cheating (or in your case contemplating it) is one on the consequences of doing it if you aren't willing to accept that or any other possible consequences of such an action (both positive and negative), then Probably best not to do it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

Ben? only you know what the exact circumstances are and whether what you are thinking of doing is right or wrong

Also, it is only you and your wife who will bear whatever consequences are of this action as long as you are honest with the 'other woman' and keep her out of this

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

You can only allow messages from strangers to make you feel awful if you let them and if you feel there's an element if truth in what they say.

I suggest you block everyone from contacting you because from what i read single men get very few messages anyway and make contact with people yourself.

I detect a faint "oh wow is me" quality to your posts, take charge, decide what you want and go for it.

Good luck.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it says more about those sending nasty messages than it does about you.

How sad that they would spend time being nasty to someone they don't know.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful."
Not as awful as your wife would feel if she knew you were on here....like all married men playing away ,you care nothing for the woman you are betraying and destroying because if she did find out it will destroy her and you could never make it up to her

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

You can only allow messages from strangers to make you feel awful if you let them and if you feel there's an element if truth in what they say.

I suggest you block everyone from contacting you because from what i read single men get very few messages anyway and make contact with people yourself.

I detect a faint "oh wow is me" quality to your posts, take charge, decide what you want and go for it.

Good luck."

*woe

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP, that's well out of order so report & block them!

Some of the really popular men on Fabs / forum are married so it's a case of ignore the haters, try not to take it personally ~ some people get off being horrible to others x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP, that's well out of order so report & block them!

Some of the really popular men on Fabs / forum are married so it's a case of ignore the haters, try not to take it personally ~ some people get off being horrible to others x"

I agree with this report and block those that send nasty messages troll and hide behind a computer screen so big and hard not

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/01/16 21:08:12]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful.Not as awful as your wife would feel if she knew you were on here....like all married men playing away ,you care nothing for the woman you are betraying and destroying because if she did find out it will destroy her and you could never make it up to her"

Took the words right out of my mouth

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful.Not as awful as your wife would feel if she knew you were on here....like all married men playing away ,you care nothing for the woman you are betraying and destroying because if she did find out it will destroy her and you could never make it up to her"

You can't possibly know that as you are not privy to their relationship & having an affair doesn't always have to signify the end of a relationship.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just crack on an try to get what you think you're missing out on.

Let's face it the majority of guys in here claim they can't get a meet no matter how hard they try so your chances of cheating are slim

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful.Not as awful as your wife would feel if she knew you were on here....like all married men playing away ,you care nothing for the woman you are betraying and destroying because if she did find out it will destroy her and you could never make it up to her

You can't possibly know that as you are not privy to their relationship & having an affair doesn't always have to signify the end of a relationship."

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful.Not as awful as your wife would feel if she knew you were on here....like all married men playing away ,you care nothing for the woman you are betraying and destroying because if she did find out it will destroy her and you could never make it up to her

You can't possibly know that as you are not privy to their relationship & having an affair doesn't always have to signify the end of a relationship."

This is so unbelievably true; an affair was the catalyst that fixed my relationship. I'm now married. Out as bi and out as trans.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful.Not as awful as your wife would feel if she knew you were on here....like all married men playing away ,you care nothing for the woman you are betraying and destroying because if she did find out it will destroy her and you could never make it up to her

You can't possibly know that as you are not privy to their relationship & having an affair doesn't always have to signify the end of a relationship.

This is so unbelievably true; an affair was the catalyst that fixed my relationship. I'm now married. Out as bi and out as trans.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic