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Messages from men in general
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Grrrrrrrr
Now I know this rant doesn't cover every man alive, however from experience of the messages I get, it dies cover a majority.
Why on earth do men think us women want messages (these are first messages i am referring to) saying along the lines, hi I'm horny are you?, do you men not know how boring it is to hear the same thing over and over again from multiple men messaging the sane thing.
Do you not realise sex talk gets boring when you hear it none stop.
Do you not think women might want a first message to be about the real you, and not just the cock you.
Rant over  |
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"Why on earth do some women whine about other people yet don't change the fundamental issue that causes them such angst?"
What change would that be exactly?
My profile says no sex talk, filters on to the max, unfortunately cant set filters to block messages with key words as thats only way could stop those messages coming through, so what would you suggest?  |
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"Why on earth do some women whine about other people yet don't change the fundamental issue that causes them such angst?
What like use filters and search for people themselves 
"
Filters are already on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why on earth do some women whine about other people yet don't change the fundamental issue that causes them such angst?
What like use filters and search for people themselves
"
  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would hate to be a guy on here ...damned if they do damned if they don't..just ignore and delete ..search for men yourself.And have a green tea woman and breathe.... |
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"Me personally, I've never done that, in the first second or last message!
Sounds desperate!!  "
Im not saying all men, my post even says that its not all men, just vast majority, maybe some in the "majority" group may read this and think differently in how they message, who knows lol |
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"I would hate to be a guy on here ...damned if they do damned if they don't..just ignore and delete ..search for men yourself.And have a green tea woman and breathe...."
I already do search, yet still get messages from those that fit inside my filters. Its a shame cant use keywords on messages as a filter to be honest, maybe something the site owners could consider |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would hate to be a guy on here ...damned if they do damned if they don't..just ignore and delete ..search for men yourself.And have a green tea woman and breathe...."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
on behalf of single males everywhere I'd like to apologise sincerely!
Of course, it's not just women who get these messages. I get them too... Yesterday I got a message which simply read "Cock?" ... I replied asking whether this was a question, a statement, or something profound and poetic... He didn't reply. Though I guess that is way more likely to work on a man.
But Yeh I share your frustration and bewilderment... And concern for the quality of 49% of the earths population!
I have a theory though... Some of 'those' guys aren't really out for a genuine meet. They get off by sitting alone in their room, sending explicit messages and taking pictures of themselves - surely no man really thinks he'll get anywhere with that? Do they? Maybe.
Another reason might be, that if you're like me and won't send a message unless you have reason to put some effort in, and then spend 15-20 minutes drafting and redrafting only to have it deleted immediately, you kind of wonder if you're better off sending one word messages to thousands of women. Maybe these men are rationally useing their time... I'm yet to try the latter option!
|
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"on behalf of single males everywhere I'd like to apologise sincerely!
Of course, it's not just women who get these messages. I get them too... Yesterday I got a message which simply read "Cock?" ... I replied asking whether this was a question, a statement, or something profound and poetic... He didn't reply. Though I guess that is way more likely to work on a man.
But Yeh I share your frustration and bewilderment... And concern for the quality of 49% of the earths population!
I have a theory though... Some of 'those' guys aren't really out for a genuine meet. They get off by sitting alone in their room, sending explicit messages and taking pictures of themselves - surely no man really thinks he'll get anywhere with that? Do they? Maybe.
Another reason might be, that if you're like me and won't send a message unless you have reason to put some effort in, and then spend 15-20 minutes drafting and redrafting only to have it deleted immediately, you kind of wonder if you're better off sending one word messages to thousands of women. Maybe these men are rationally useing their time... I'm yet to try the latter option!
"
Well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would hate to be a guy on here ...damned if they do damned if they don't..just ignore and delete ..search for men yourself.And have a green tea woman and breathe....
I already do search, yet still get messages from those that fit inside my filters. Its a shame cant use keywords on messages as a filter to be honest, maybe something the site owners could consider "
Then your filters aren't set to block all men as previously suggested. It works for me I never get messages off men unless I choose to talk to them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Me personally, I've never done that, in the first second or last message!
Sounds desperate!!
Im not saying all men, my post even says that its not all men, just vast majority, maybe some in the "majority" group may read this and think differently in how they message, who knows lol"
Nope. There's always someone having a rant about the amount/type of messages. You won't change the behaviour of others by ranting about it. The solution is either accept that is the way it is and carry on the same or filter so no men can contact you and you contact those you want. Personally i find them really easy to ignore with the occasional block for repeat offenders |
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"on behalf of single males everywhere I'd like to apologise sincerely!
Of course, it's not just women who get these messages. I get them too... Yesterday I got a message which simply read "Cock?" ... I replied asking whether this was a question, a statement, or something profound and poetic... He didn't reply. Though I guess that is way more likely to work on a man.
But Yeh I share your frustration and bewilderment... And concern for the quality of 49% of the earths population!
I have a theory though... Some of 'those' guys aren't really out for a genuine meet. They get off by sitting alone in their room, sending explicit messages and taking pictures of themselves - surely no man really thinks he'll get anywhere with that? Do they? Maybe.
Another reason might be, that if you're like me and won't send a message unless you have reason to put some effort in, and then spend 15-20 minutes drafting and redrafting only to have it deleted immediately, you kind of wonder if you're better off sending one word messages to thousands of women. Maybe these men are rationally useing their time... I'm yet to try the latter option!
"
I agree, i think the men sending these messages don't meet, however unlike many women on this site i do reply to all messages i receive even if its to say no thank you, i believe its common courtesy and polite to do so, and it doesn't take long to reply to all messages either, i often get around a 100 messages a day, takes all of 5 minutes to reply no thanks to ones that don't interest me, also hitting block to prevent them from messaging again |
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"Me personally, I've never done that, in the first second or last message!
Sounds desperate!!
Im not saying all men, my post even says that its not all men, just vast majority, maybe some in the "majority" group may read this and think differently in how they message, who knows lol
Nope. There's always someone having a rant about the amount/type of messages. You won't change the behaviour of others by ranting about it. The solution is either accept that is the way it is and carry on the same or filter so no men can contact you and you contact those you want. Personally i find them really easy to ignore with the occasional block for repeat offenders "
I block them already after replying no thanks, but rants can help, it can make some think, oh i do that, maybe i should try different track, yes it wont change all, but may change some peoples thoughts. |
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"Grrrrrrrr
Now I know this rant doesn't cover every man alive, however from experience of the messages I get, it dies cover a majority.
Why on earth do men think us women want messages (these are first messages i am referring to) saying along the lines, hi I'm horny are you?, do you men not know how boring it is to hear the same thing over and over again from multiple men messaging the sane thing.
Do you not realise sex talk gets boring when you hear it none stop.
Do you not think women might want a first message to be about the real you, and not just the cock you.
Rant over "
Looked at a thread eariler about why we block guys, and this is the main answer lol |
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"I would hate to be a guy on here ...damned if they do damned if they don't..just ignore and delete ..search for men yourself.And have a green tea woman and breathe....
I already do search, yet still get messages from those that fit inside my filters. Its a shame cant use keywords on messages as a filter to be honest, maybe something the site owners could consider
Then your filters aren't set to block all men as previously suggested. It works for me I never get messages off men unless I choose to talk to them."
Why should i set them to block all men?
As i said some men don't send the type if message my post is about, and those men that send the decent messages, why should they get a "you cant message because...." Isn't that just tarring the nice guys with the same brush as the jerks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Me personally, I've never done that, in the first second or last message!
Sounds desperate!!
Im not saying all men, my post even says that its not all men, just vast majority, maybe some in the "majority" group may read this and think differently in how they message, who knows lol
Nope. There's always someone having a rant about the amount/type of messages. You won't change the behaviour of others by ranting about it. The solution is either accept that is the way it is and carry on the same or filter so no men can contact you and you contact those you want. Personally i find them really easy to ignore with the occasional block for repeat offenders
I block them already after replying no thanks, but rants can help, it can make some think, oh i do that, maybe i should try different track, yes it wont change all, but may change some peoples thoughts."
Then rant away. I've never once seen a thread on here from someone claiming that they had a rant and now they don't get as many unwanted Messages. But hey if it makes you feel better then at least it's helped a little
And i really would recommend a Snickers in these situations..the advert says so |
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"Me personally, I've never done that, in the first second or last message!
Sounds desperate!!
Im not saying all men, my post even says that its not all men, just vast majority, maybe some in the "majority" group may read this and think differently in how they message, who knows lol
Nope. There's always someone having a rant about the amount/type of messages. You won't change the behaviour of others by ranting about it. The solution is either accept that is the way it is and carry on the same or filter so no men can contact you and you contact those you want. Personally i find them really easy to ignore with the occasional block for repeat offenders
I block them already after replying no thanks, but rants can help, it can make some think, oh i do that, maybe i should try different track, yes it wont change all, but may change some peoples thoughts.
Then rant away. I've never once seen a thread on here from someone claiming that they had a rant and now they don't get as many unwanted Messages. But hey if it makes you feel better then at least it's helped a little
And i really would recommend a Snickers in these situations..the advert says so "
Snickers are full of nuts, i'll pass thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Me personally, I've never done that, in the first second or last message!
Sounds desperate!!
Im not saying all men, my post even says that its not all men, just vast majority, maybe some in the "majority" group may read this and think differently in how they message, who knows lol
Nope. There's always someone having a rant about the amount/type of messages. You won't change the behaviour of others by ranting about it. The solution is either accept that is the way it is and carry on the same or filter so no men can contact you and you contact those you want. Personally i find them really easy to ignore with the occasional block for repeat offenders
I block them already after replying no thanks, but rants can help, it can make some think, oh i do that, maybe i should try different track, yes it wont change all, but may change some peoples thoughts."
I do actually agree with you. Some people (not just men, but yes- mostly men!) can be total idiots sending crap/ rude messages.
But the kind of men that send shit messages won't be reading the forums, they'll be wanking furiously into a crusty sock. And tapping out 'wanna fuck u' messages with one hand.
Hope your rant made you feel better. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would hate to be a guy on here ...damned if they do damned if they don't..just ignore and delete ..search for men yourself.And have a green tea woman and breathe....
I already do search, yet still get messages from those that fit inside my filters. Its a shame cant use keywords on messages as a filter to be honest, maybe something the site owners could consider
Then your filters aren't set to block all men as previously suggested. It works for me I never get messages off men unless I choose to talk to them.
Why should i set them to block all men?
As i said some men don't send the type if message my post is about, and those men that send the decent messages, why should they get a "you cant message because...." Isn't that just tarring the nice guys with the same brush as the jerks "
If you delete 'men' off your looking for list it takes you off the searches and makes life very peaceful. Just tick the box again when you're in the mood for mail.
I like that the wanking men that will never meet send shit messages. It makes it easier to find the good ones. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I agree, i think the men sending these messages don't meet, however unlike many women on this site i do reply to all messages i receive even if its to say no thank you, i believe its common courtesy and polite to do so, and it doesn't take long to reply to all messages either, i often get around a 100 messages a day, takes all of 5 minutes to reply no thanks to ones that don't interest me, also hitting block to prevent them from messaging again"
Fair play to you... It would be understandable if you didn't! Please keep doing that and try not to be deterred. There are decent single men out there of course... They're just kind of drowned out by a sea of drooling eejits |
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"Me personally, I've never done that, in the first second or last message!
Sounds desperate!!
Im not saying all men, my post even says that its not all men, just vast majority, maybe some in the "majority" group may read this and think differently in how they message, who knows lol
Nope. There's always someone having a rant about the amount/type of messages. You won't change the behaviour of others by ranting about it. The solution is either accept that is the way it is and carry on the same or filter so no men can contact you and you contact those you want. Personally i find them really easy to ignore with the occasional block for repeat offenders
I block them already after replying no thanks, but rants can help, it can make some think, oh i do that, maybe i should try different track, yes it wont change all, but may change some peoples thoughts.
I do actually agree with you. Some people (not just men, but yes- mostly men!) can be total idiots sending crap/ rude messages.
But the kind of men that send shit messages won't be reading the forums, they'll be wanking furiously into a crusty sock. And tapping out 'wanna fuck u' messages with one hand.
Hope your rant made you feel better. x"
Some of the wanna fuck messages have been sent from forum posters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would hate to be a guy on here ...damned if they do damned if they don't..just ignore and delete ..search for men yourself.And have a green tea woman and breathe...."
Zoya understands  |
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"I would hate to be a guy on here ...damned if they do damned if they don't..just ignore and delete ..search for men yourself.And have a green tea woman and breathe....
I already do search, yet still get messages from those that fit inside my filters. Its a shame cant use keywords on messages as a filter to be honest, maybe something the site owners could consider
Then your filters aren't set to block all men as previously suggested. It works for me I never get messages off men unless I choose to talk to them.
Why should i set them to block all men?
As i said some men don't send the type if message my post is about, and those men that send the decent messages, why should they get a "you cant message because...." Isn't that just tarring the nice guys with the same brush as the jerks
If you delete 'men' off your looking for list it takes you off the searches and makes life very peaceful. Just tick the box again when you're in the mood for mail.
I like that the wanking men that will never meet send shit messages. It makes it easier to find the good ones. "
Ive tried deleting men as per your suggestion in the past, they still message using couples accounts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Me personally, I've never done that, in the first second or last message!
Sounds desperate!!
Im not saying all men, my post even says that its not all men, just vast majority, maybe some in the "majority" group may read this and think differently in how they message, who knows lol
Nope. There's always someone having a rant about the amount/type of messages. You won't change the behaviour of others by ranting about it. The solution is either accept that is the way it is and carry on the same or filter so no men can contact you and you contact those you want. Personally i find them really easy to ignore with the occasional block for repeat offenders
I block them already after replying no thanks, but rants can help, it can make some think, oh i do that, maybe i should try different track, yes it wont change all, but may change some peoples thoughts.
I do actually agree with you. Some people (not just men, but yes- mostly men!) can be total idiots sending crap/ rude messages.
But the kind of men that send shit messages won't be reading the forums, they'll be wanking furiously into a crusty sock. And tapping out 'wanna fuck u' messages with one hand.
Hope your rant made you feel better. x
Some of the wanna fuck messages have been sent from forum posters"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would hate to be a guy on here ...damned if they do damned if they don't..just ignore and delete ..search for men yourself.And have a green tea woman and breathe....
I already do search, yet still get messages from those that fit inside my filters. Its a shame cant use keywords on messages as a filter to be honest, maybe something the site owners could consider
Then your filters aren't set to block all men as previously suggested. It works for me I never get messages off men unless I choose to talk to them.
Why should i set them to block all men?
As i said some men don't send the type if message my post is about, and those men that send the decent messages, why should they get a "you cant message because...." Isn't that just tarring the nice guys with the same brush as the jerks "
No, it's not tarring them all with the same brush, it is just putting you in control of who you contact. I guess someone women prefer to be chased than to be proactive in selecting their sex partners. However that always runs the risk of being chased by lots of unsuitable suitors. Whatever floats your boat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I got fed up with crap messages, crude one liners or crude detailed accounts of what someone wants to do to me, constant pestering from guys I'd politely turned down, abuse for a no thanks or for no reason, the list goes on so I did something about it and it works perfectly for me. When this gets tedious and you don't enjoy it, either leave or do the searching yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would hate to be a guy on here ...damned if they do damned if they don't..just ignore and delete ..search for men yourself.And have a green tea woman and breathe....
I already do search, yet still get messages from those that fit inside my filters. Its a shame cant use keywords on messages as a filter to be honest, maybe something the site owners could consider
Then your filters aren't set to block all men as previously suggested. It works for me I never get messages off men unless I choose to talk to them.
Why should i set them to block all men?
As i said some men don't send the type if message my post is about, and those men that send the decent messages, why should they get a "you cant message because...." Isn't that just tarring the nice guys with the same brush as the jerks
If you delete 'men' off your looking for list it takes you off the searches and makes life very peaceful. Just tick the box again when you're in the mood for mail.
I like that the wanking men that will never meet send shit messages. It makes it easier to find the good ones.
Ive tried deleting men as per your suggestion in the past, they still message using couples accounts"
Is that a large proportion of your unwanted messages? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is that a large proportion of your unwanted messages?"
I feel a research paper coming on... I think it would greatly help our community, especially those one-line-wonders who can't figure out why they keep getting blocked! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is that a large proportion of your unwanted messages?
I feel a research paper coming on... I think it would greatly help our community, especially those one-line-wonders who can't figure out why they keep getting blocked!"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you block single men, but then send one a message. will you get their reply? "
Yes it is a just filter rather than a block in the way blocking an individual's profile works. Sending a message to anyone who is 'filtered' out of messaging you, creates a link between you to communicate. |
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"If you block single men, but then send one a message. will you get their reply?
Yes as you've broken the block so to speak"
Ok great did not realise that. We don't generally do single guys but we did meet one that we had a great time with so did not want to keep him blocked as it would be rude. |
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"I would hate to be a guy on here ...damned if they do damned if they don't..just ignore and delete ..search for men yourself.And have a green tea woman and breathe....
I already do search, yet still get messages from those that fit inside my filters. Its a shame cant use keywords on messages as a filter to be honest, maybe something the site owners could consider
Then your filters aren't set to block all men as previously suggested. It works for me I never get messages off men unless I choose to talk to them.
Why should i set them to block all men?
As i said some men don't send the type if message my post is about, and those men that send the decent messages, why should they get a "you cant message because...." Isn't that just tarring the nice guys with the same brush as the jerks
No, it's not tarring them all with the same brush, it is just putting you in control of who you contact. I guess someone women prefer to be chased than to be proactive in selecting their sex partners. However that always runs the risk of being chased by lots of unsuitable suitors. Whatever floats your boat "
Im not looking to be chased but equally i wont tar the nice guys with the bad, i chat with plenty of nice guys just more twats message.
My issue isnt number of messages its the content.
Equally i should be able to have or not have filters, we are all adults and capable of reading profiles, when a profile states no sex talk that should be respected regardless of filters, common courtesy and decency, which seems to be lacking on this site |
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"I would hate to be a guy on here ...damned if they do damned if they don't..just ignore and delete ..search for men yourself.And have a green tea woman and breathe....
I already do search, yet still get messages from those that fit inside my filters. Its a shame cant use keywords on messages as a filter to be honest, maybe something the site owners could consider
Then your filters aren't set to block all men as previously suggested. It works for me I never get messages off men unless I choose to talk to them.
Why should i set them to block all men?
As i said some men don't send the type if message my post is about, and those men that send the decent messages, why should they get a "you cant message because...." Isn't that just tarring the nice guys with the same brush as the jerks
If you delete 'men' off your looking for list it takes you off the searches and makes life very peaceful. Just tick the box again when you're in the mood for mail.
I like that the wanking men that will never meet send shit messages. It makes it easier to find the good ones.
Ive tried deleting men as per your suggestion in the past, they still message using couples accounts
Is that a large proportion of your unwanted messages?"
Its a good chunk, but as stated im not going to assume every bloke is a twat by applying a block all men |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
The guys who read these forum posts know not to do that. But they are a very tiny percentage of the FabS 'population'
The vast majority will send the "wanna f**k" type messages as they think that these will work. Then after a few months, will head for the forums and start a "cannot get a meet" thread |
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"The guys who read these forum posts know not to do that. But they are a very tiny percentage of the FabS 'population'
The vast majority will send the "wanna f**k" type messages as they think that these will work. Then after a few months, will head for the forums and start a "cannot get a meet" thread"
I always chuckle at these. Any one reading them now knows who's filters are open and who to target |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The amount of complaints about inane messages from single guys really do surprise me...
Anyway, delete, block.......deep breath..... move on.. (ahhhh)
You know you could bite the bullet and message the guys first..."no way I am not desperate", no one says you are, but this is a swinging site, you can make the first move! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It would be nice to get an example of a message a lady would like to receive, why should a bloke spend 10-15 minutes crafting something nice only to have it deleted or ignored.
I have tried sending short messages and nice friendly ones albeit to have them deleted, ladies if you sent more messages to us blokes maybe you wouldn't have to put up with crap messages in your inbox AKA reverse psychology.
I think Fab should put metrics on profiles to show messages waiting to be read, messages replied to etc.
Rant over, waits for significant trolling to begin |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It would be nice to get an example of a message a lady would like to receive, why should a bloke spend 10-15 minutes crafting something nice only to have it deleted or ignored.
I have tried sending short messages and nice friendly ones albeit to have them deleted, ladies if you sent more messages to us blokes maybe you wouldn't have to put up with crap messages in your inbox AKA reverse psychology.
I think Fab should put metrics on profiles to show messages waiting to be read, messages replied to etc.
Rant over, waits for significant trolling to begin"
I posted the kind of message that I send out about half way down my thread here: https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/455920 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The amount of complaints about inane messages from single guys really do surprise me...
Anyway, delete, block.......deep breath..... move on.. (ahhhh)
You know you could bite the bullet and message the guys first..."no way I am not desperate", no one says you are, but this is a swinging site, you can make the first move! "
Making the first move doesn't stop the inane messages. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Why on earth do some women whine about other people yet don't change the fundamental issue that causes them such angst?"
bingo......
on the grand scale of "sweating the small stuff" for zero to epic........ this really rates as a blip
if this is how people deal with blips like this, I wonder how that cope with the biggies in the real world......
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It would be nice to get an example of a message a lady would like to receive, why should a bloke spend 10-15 minutes crafting something nice only to have it deleted or ignored.
I have tried sending short messages and nice friendly ones albeit to have them deleted, ladies if you sent more messages to us blokes maybe you wouldn't have to put up with crap messages in your inbox AKA reverse psychology.
I think Fab should put metrics on profiles to show messages waiting to be read, messages replied to etc.
Rant over, waits for significant trolling to begin
I posted the kind of message that I send out about half way down my thread here: https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/455920"
Thank you Wasp I will have a read |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why on earth do some women whine about other people yet don't change the fundamental issue that causes them such angst?
bingo......
on the grand scale of "sweating the small stuff" for zero to epic........ this really rates as a blip
if this is how people deal with blips like this, I wonder how that cope with the biggies in the real world......
"
I suppose we could all just leave the site and find our sex elsewhere.
But I suspect that lots of guys wouldn't be so keen on that happening. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Why on earth do some women whine about other people yet don't change the fundamental issue that causes them such angst?
bingo......
on the grand scale of "sweating the small stuff" for zero to epic........ this really rates as a blip
if this is how people deal with blips like this, I wonder how that cope with the biggies in the real world......
I suppose we could all just leave the site and find our sex elsewhere.
But I suspect that lots of guys wouldn't be so keen on that happening."
i suspect that could go for the people who do the most complaining on the subject.... rather on waiting on getting loads of messages, they could actually get off their prestine arses and actually do the searching!!! but this would give no one else to blame but themselves!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I hope the OP doesn't just think it's the guys who send this type of message, the sense of entitlement from a few ladies i've witnessed on here & the odd 'wanna fuck' 'how big is your cock' intro messages I've received are proof it isn't.
No need to cry about it though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The amount of complaints about inane messages from single guys really do surprise me...
Anyway, delete, block.......deep breath..... move on.. (ahhhh)
You know you could bite the bullet and message the guys first..."no way I am not desperate", no one says you are, but this is a swinging site, you can make the first move!
Making the first move doesn't stop the inane messages."
No but if you are predisposed to receiving lots if inane messages from single guys, that wind you up enough to write a forum post. Then block ALL single guys and then message the ones you want. The site allows the person to message you back if you have messaged first.
Not an ideal solution, I know, but perhaps better than writing a forum post, which the majority of inane message writers won't read or if they do, will ignore. Hell if they can't read a profile, I doubt they are reading a rant on the forum... |
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Remember, You may of read it a hundred times. But us guys don't get many messages at all and many won't realise how many similar messages you receive.
As others have said, why not block all single guys and go hunting yourself.
I have sent many messages with what I considered to be respectful and interesting. The replies I get are few and far between. I could come on the forums and rant at the amount of women who don't reply. But there is no point as life is too short. |
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"Why on earth do some women whine about other people yet don't change the fundamental issue that causes them such angst?
bingo......
on the grand scale of "sweating the small stuff" for zero to epic........ this really rates as a blip
if this is how people deal with blips like this, I wonder how that cope with the biggies in the real world......
I suppose we could all just leave the site and find our sex elsewhere.
But I suspect that lots of guys wouldn't be so keen on that happening.
i suspect that could go for the people who do the most complaining on the subject.... rather on waiting on getting loads of messages, they could actually get off their prestine arses and actually do the searching!!! but this would give no one else to blame but themselves!!!! "
lol eloquently and well put! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hope the OP doesn't just think it's the guys who send this type of message, the sense of entitlement from a few ladies i've witnessed on here & the odd 'wanna fuck' 'how big is your cock' intro messages I've received are proof it isn't.
No need to cry about it though "
They were probably men pretending to be women! |
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We'll I've never sent a message like that to a lady ever except when I'm seeing her n were messing with each other but when I'm trying to chat up a lady no way respect all d way were all here to enjoy each other n were all human beings |
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I send a good few messages n never get a reply but I do from some very nice ladies saying no thanks n I respect there wishes . It's always very nice to get a reply even just to say no thanks it does make a difference |
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I do think the find them method is the best approach. We've had none of these messages from single guys as we have them on filter.
Took the filter of to chat to someone we knew but apart from that never had any trouble at all. |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"Remember, You may of read it a hundred times. But us guys don't get many messages at all and many won't realise how many similar messages you receive.
As others have said, why not block all single guys and go hunting yourself.
I have sent many messages with what I considered to be respectful and interesting. The replies I get are few and far between. I could come on the forums and rant at the amount of women who don't reply. But there is no point as life is too short. "
So, just out of interest, how many times a month do you 'get lucky' with the "wanna f**k?" |
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"The amount of complaints about inane messages from single guys really do surprise me...
Anyway, delete, block.......deep breath..... move on.. (ahhhh)
You know you could bite the bullet and message the guys first..."no way I am not desperate", no one says you are, but this is a swinging site, you can make the first move! "
I often message guys first |
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My intro messages are usually a few paragraphs long as I tend to find that people actually want something interesting to read rather than a one liner.
Even if they reply back with not interested at least they can see I've made the effort to have a conversation with them. |
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"Why on earth do some women whine about other people yet don't change the fundamental issue that causes them such angst?
bingo......
on the grand scale of "sweating the small stuff" for zero to epic........ this really rates as a blip
if this is how people deal with blips like this, I wonder how that cope with the biggies in the real world......
I suppose we could all just leave the site and find our sex elsewhere.
But I suspect that lots of guys wouldn't be so keen on that happening.
i suspect that could go for the people who do the most complaining on the subject.... rather on waiting on getting loads of messages, they could actually get off their prestine arses and actually do the searching!!! but this would give no one else to blame but themselves!!!! "
So you make the assumption i dont message first, a very wrong assumption at that.
Also messaging first makes no difference as replies are still often "wanna fuck" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There is no right way to write an initial message. Even if the person you're mailing has given detailed instructions in their profile on what they want to see, following them won't help. In my experience, the odds of getting a reply are close to zero no matter what you write. |
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"I hope the OP doesn't just think it's the guys who send this type of message, the sense of entitlement from a few ladies i've witnessed on here & the odd 'wanna fuck' 'how big is your cock' intro messages I've received are proof it isn't.
No need to cry about it though "
Who's crying, raising a point is hardly stressing or crying |
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"Remember, You may of read it a hundred times. But us guys don't get many messages at all and many won't realise how many similar messages you receive.
As others have said, why not block all single guys and go hunting yourself.
I have sent many messages with what I considered to be respectful and interesting. The replies I get are few and far between. I could come on the forums and rant at the amount of women who don't reply. But there is no point as life is too short. "
As ive replied a number of times in this thread why should I block anyone? Why should I assume every man will send shit messages, oh and for the record i hunt as you word it myself already |
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"I hope the OP doesn't just think it's the guys who send this type of message, the sense of entitlement from a few ladies i've witnessed on here & the odd 'wanna fuck' 'how big is your cock' intro messages I've received are proof it isn't.
No need to cry about it though
They were probably men pretending to be women!"
They were definitely men pretending to be women.
Do you seriously believe a woman would ask those questions?
Come arnn! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hope the OP doesn't just think it's the guys who send this type of message, the sense of entitlement from a few ladies i've witnessed on here & the odd 'wanna fuck' 'how big is your cock' intro messages I've received are proof it isn't.
No need to cry about it though
They were probably men pretending to be women!"
Have seen a lot of that in here and had messages from some very dubious looking women |
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"No need to cry about it though
Who's crying, raising a point is hardly stressing or crying"
Did you not know that if a woman says she's not keen on something in a public forum it means she must be having a nervous breakdown over it |
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"I send a good few messages n never get a reply but I do from some very nice ladies saying no thanks n I respect there wishes . It's always very nice to get a reply even just to say no thanks it does make a difference "
Agree totally and takes seconds to say no thank you |
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"No need to cry about it though
Who's crying, raising a point is hardly stressing or crying
Did you not know that if a woman says she's not keen on something in a public forum it means she must be having a nervous breakdown over it "
|
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The irony is that those who would benefit from reading this.....probably won't. Such is the curse of the desperate man - he is surrounded by ladies wanting sex but can't get any - because he's desperate. |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"No need to cry about it though
Who's crying, raising a point is hardly stressing or crying
Did you not know that if a woman says she's not keen on something in a public forum it means she must be having a nervous breakdown over it "
Sad little creatures
Shouldn't be allowed near a keyboard. Chopping board is fine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Grrrrrrrr
Now I know this rant doesn't cover every man alive, however from experience of the messages I get, it dies cover a majority.
Why on earth do men think us women want messages (these are first messages i am referring to) saying along the lines, hi I'm horny are you?, do you men not know how boring it is to hear the same thing over and over again from multiple men messaging the sane thing.
Do you not realise sex talk gets boring when you hear it none stop.
Do you not think women might want a first message to be about the real you, and not just the cock you.
Rant over "
I have never lead with a message as an introduction to a woman so wouldn't know what you are referring to but then I've seen many women's status messages being overtly sexual asking for that type of message from a man !!  |
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"Grrrrrrrr
Now I know this rant doesn't cover every man alive, however from experience of the messages I get, it dies cover a majority.
Why on earth do men think us women want messages (these are first messages i am referring to) saying along the lines, hi I'm horny are you?, do you men not know how boring it is to hear the same thing over and over again from multiple men messaging the sane thing.
Do you not realise sex talk gets boring when you hear it none stop.
Do you not think women might want a first message to be about the real you, and not just the cock you.
Rant over I have never lead with a message as an introduction to a woman so wouldn't know what you are referring to but then I've seen many women's status messages being overtly sexual asking for that type of message from a man !! "
As my post mentions, not all men but most
Ive no idea what womens statuses are as i dont see them, im sure theres bad in evey sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Grrrrrrrr
Now I know this rant doesn't cover every man alive, however from experience of the messages I get, it dies cover a majority.
Why on earth do men think us women want messages (these are first messages i am referring to) saying along the lines, hi I'm horny are you?, do you men not know how boring it is to hear the same thing over and over again from multiple men messaging the sane thing.
Do you not realise sex talk gets boring when you hear it none stop.
Do you not think women might want a first message to be about the real you, and not just the cock you.
Rant over I have never lead with a message as an introduction to a woman so wouldn't know what you are referring to but then I've seen many women's status messages being overtly sexual asking for that type of message from a man !! "
That's a fair point.
Man joins site.
He sees profiles with overtly sexual language.
He sees photos of people having sex. Cocks in pussies. Naked people/ body parts/ cum splashes.
He sees verifications that are very explicit about sexual acts that people have done.
Why wouldn't the man assume that everyone is sex mad, desperate for a fuck and wants a XXX rated first message?
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Grrrrrrrr
Now I know this rant doesn't cover every man alive, however from experience of the messages I get, it dies cover a majority.
Why on earth do men think us women want messages (these are first messages i am referring to) saying along the lines, hi I'm horny are you?, do you men not know how boring it is to hear the same thing over and over again from multiple men messaging the sane thing.
Do you not realise sex talk gets boring when you hear it none stop.
Do you not think women might want a first message to be about the real you, and not just the cock you.
Rant over I have never lead with a message as an introduction to a woman so wouldn't know what you are referring to but then I've seen many women's status messages being overtly sexual asking for that type of message from a man !!
That's a fair point.
Man joins site.
He sees profiles with overtly sexual language.
He sees photos of people having sex. Cocks in pussies. Naked people/ body parts/ cum splashes.
He sees verifications that are very explicit about sexual acts that people have done.
Why wouldn't the man assume that everyone is sex mad, desperate for a fuck and wants a XXX rated first message?
"
hehe yes couldn't have put it better myself x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Grrrrrrrr
Now I know this rant doesn't cover every man alive, however from experience of the messages I get, it dies cover a majority.
Why on earth do men think us women want messages (these are first messages i am referring to) saying along the lines, hi I'm horny are you?, do you men not know how boring it is to hear the same thing over and over again from multiple men messaging the sane thing.
Do you not realise sex talk gets boring when you hear it none stop.
Do you not think women might want a first message to be about the real you, and not just the cock you.
Rant over I have never lead with a message as an introduction to a woman so wouldn't know what you are referring to but then I've seen many women's status messages being overtly sexual asking for that type of message from a man !!
That's a fair point.
Man joins site.
He sees profiles with overtly sexual language.
He sees photos of people having sex. Cocks in pussies. Naked people/ body parts/ cum splashes.
He sees verifications that are very explicit about sexual acts that people have done.
Why wouldn't the man assume that everyone is sex mad, desperate for a fuck and wants a XXX rated first message?
"
And don't you think we are sick of weekly rants on this |
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Part of the problem here is that, within both genders, there is a huge variety of expectations and preferences, which makes any sort of standard advice of limited use.
That said, I ALWAYS base the tone of my messages on the profile of the person I'm messaging and err on the side of caution in my use of language and photos - but that is far from foolproof!
I believe the majority of women probably concur with the ethos of the OP, but definitely not all! On more than one occasion I've sent full, friendly, respectful messages to single ladies, outlining a bit about myself, including mild references to my 'bedroom' interests and including a face picture, only to get contrasting one line replies. These have included (quote) "Boring - tell me what you wanna do to me", "wtf-not even a cok pic?" or "You belong on match.com, this a sex site, you know- fucking?" All three of those were from women verified by meets and over 25. By contrast, I had a very successful and fun fb relationship with a woman who contacted me first on a different site with the message "Fancy pissing on my tits?" In everyday life she was an eloquent, immaculately-dressed lawyer, which to me emphasises that you can never really tell just what people want to hear! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Grrrrrrrr
Now I know this rant doesn't cover every man alive, however from experience of the messages I get, it dies cover a majority.
Why on earth do men think us women want messages (these are first messages i am referring to) saying along the lines, hi I'm horny are you?, do you men not know how boring it is to hear the same thing over and over again from multiple men messaging the sane thing.
Do you not realise sex talk gets boring when you hear it none stop.
Do you not think women might want a first message to be about the real you, and not just the cock you.
Rant over I have never lead with a message as an introduction to a woman so wouldn't know what you are referring to but then I've seen many women's status messages being overtly sexual asking for that type of message from a man !!
That's a fair point.
Man joins site.
He sees profiles with overtly sexual language.
He sees photos of people having sex. Cocks in pussies. Naked people/ body parts/ cum splashes.
He sees verifications that are very explicit about sexual acts that people have done.
Why wouldn't the man assume that everyone is sex mad, desperate for a fuck and wants a XXX rated first message?
And don't you think we are sick of weekly rants on this "
So why read them?
I don't care if every other thread is the same, I'm capable of avoiding threads I don't like. The OP needed a rant, and it is her right to do so.
Everyone is looking for something different. There is no 'perfect' first mail. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Part of the problem here is that, within both genders, there is a huge variety of expectations and preferences, which makes any sort of standard advice of limited use.
That said, I ALWAYS base the tone of my messages on the profile of the person I'm messaging and err on the side of caution in my use of language and photos - but that is far from foolproof!
I believe the majority of women probably concur with the ethos of the OP, but definitely not all! On more than one occasion I've sent full, friendly, respectful messages to single ladies, outlining a bit about myself, including mild references to my 'bedroom' interests and including a face picture, only to get contrasting one line replies. These have included (quote) "Boring - tell me what you wanna do to me", "wtf-not even a cok pic?" or "You belong on match.com, this a sex site, you know- fucking?" All three of those were from women verified by meets and over 25. By contrast, I had a very successful and fun fb relationship with a woman who contacted me first on a different site with the message "Fancy pissing on my tits?" In everyday life she was an eloquent, immaculately-dressed lawyer, which to me emphasises that you can never really tell just what people want to hear! "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
im very polite in my first messages i introduce myself and say i understand if its a no thanks, but the women here dont bother to be polite back by saying thanyou but no thankyou they simply delete |
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"Grrrrrrrr
Now I know this rant doesn't cover every man alive, however from experience of the messages I get, it dies cover a majority.
Why on earth do men think us women want messages (these are first messages i am referring to) saying along the lines, hi I'm horny are you?, do you men not know how boring it is to hear the same thing over and over again from multiple men messaging the sane thing.
Do you not realise sex talk gets boring when you hear it none stop.
Do you not think women might want a first message to be about the real you, and not just the cock you.
Rant over I have never lead with a message as an introduction to a woman so wouldn't know what you are referring to but then I've seen many women's status messages being overtly sexual asking for that type of message from a man !!
That's a fair point.
Man joins site.
He sees profiles with overtly sexual language.
He sees photos of people having sex. Cocks in pussies. Naked people/ body parts/ cum splashes.
He sees verifications that are very explicit about sexual acts that people have done.
Why wouldn't the man assume that everyone is sex mad, desperate for a fuck and wants a XXX rated first message?
"
And why would he assume that a profile that doesn't display all those you just mentioned would want a wanna fuck message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
How has this thread not been banned by admin? Oh wait, it's only bashing men.
Why are there so many up tight people on here who have a hissy fit when they get a certain type of message off a man? Nine times out of 10 the man is probably out of their league yet because men on here have no standards and will fuck anyone this has lead women to believe they are above most men.
(Looking forward to the women now slagging me off, enjoy, and say what you want because you won't be getting banned, because your a woman and I'm a man. I also look forward to those men who will slag me off in the hope that women will go, yea he's brown nosing us, I'm definitely gonna message him). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How has this thread not been banned by admin? Oh wait, it's only bashing men.
Why are there so many up tight people on here who have a hissy fit when they get a certain type of message off a man? Nine times out of 10 the man is probably out of their league yet because men on here have no standards and will fuck anyone this has lead women to believe they are above most men.
(Looking forward to the women now slagging me off, enjoy, and say what you want because you won't be getting banned, because your a woman and I'm a man. I also look forward to those men who will slag me off in the hope that women will go, yea he's brown nosing us, I'm definitely gonna message him)."
well said. now can i suck your cock |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How has this thread not been banned by admin? Oh wait, it's only bashing men.
Why are there so many up tight people on here who have a hissy fit when they get a certain type of message off a man? Nine times out of 10 the man is probably out of their league yet because men on here have no standards and will fuck anyone this has lead women to believe they are above most men.
(Looking forward to the women now slagging me off, enjoy, and say what you want because you won't be getting banned, because your a woman and I'm a man. I also look forward to those men who will slag me off in the hope that women will go, yea he's brown nosing us, I'm definitely gonna message him).
well said. now can i suck your cock "
I love happy endings.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"ive also thanked a couple for fabbing my pictures only to have them block me wtf is wrong with you people"
you can't win just accept it. be nice and get insta deleted off many women or couples. get to the point and say fancy a meet and your to pushy and get blocked. i stopped messaging for meets now. as its a full time job to find the decent ones. just go to clubs instead. much easier.
but still you can say hi to a couple in a club or woman and they cry out your pestering them |
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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago
You Dont Need to Know, right now |
"
but still you can say hi to a couple in a club or woman and they cry out your pestering them "
Sorry, but I really don't believe that you get accused of "pestering" women/couples in clubs, if all you've said is hi. Either you've done worse, or they have said more kindly "thanks but no thanks". Unless you've met some really horrible people in clubs, and I can honestly say that I have never met any really horrible people in clubs. |
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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago
You Dont Need to Know, right now |
"trust me when it gets to the point of us blokes being deleted because we say hi it does tend to get you to the point where you think it is time to leave"
Read the FAQ's. When ladies/couples get thousands of messages a month, then it's NOT rude to delete without reply.
If all you say is hi, then maybe you need to think about polishing up your approach. Why would anyone reply to your 'hi', when they have 999 other 'hi's in their inbox? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"trust me when it gets to the point of us blokes being deleted because we say hi it does tend to get you to the point where you think it is time to leave
Read the FAQ's. When ladies/couples get thousands of messages a month, then it's NOT rude to delete without reply.
If all you say is hi, then maybe you need to think about polishing up your approach. Why would anyone reply to your 'hi', when they have 999 other 'hi's in their inbox?"
no need for 999 messages, use filters, that's what filters are for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"trust me when it gets to the point of us blokes being deleted because we say hi it does tend to get you to the point where you think it is time to leave"
hey look just a tip my friend put your cock away its not an especially great one, do a discreet body pic and lead with short messages based on profile you'll get a more positive feedback then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Sorry, but I really don't believe that you get accused of "pestering" women/couples in clubs, if all you've said is hi. Either you've done worse, or they have said more kindly "thanks but no thanks". Unless you've met some really horrible people in clubs, and I can honestly say that I have never met any really horrible people in clubs."
You'd be amazed. The standard reaction to me saying hello to someone in a club is for them to look at me like I just dropped out of a dog's arse, then walk away. |
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I suppose any woman or couple wanting a message to talk about something other than sex might put something in their profile: hobbies, interests, taste in music, etc
That they don't probably explains why messages are so sex centred.
Art wise I love the impressionists and surrealists
"Swans reflecting elephants" being a favourite
X |
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"I suppose any woman or couple wanting a message to talk about something other than sex might put something in their profile: hobbies, interests, taste in music, etc
That they don't probably explains why messages are so sex centred.
Art wise I love the impressionists and surrealists
"Swans reflecting elephants" being a favourite
X"
It's the mentality of ignorant men, simple as that. The type who think any woman on here is fair game for being treated like some kind of slut.
Nothing will change that. Thankfully the more intelligent guys also appear on here |
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"How has this thread not been banned by admin? Oh wait, it's only bashing men.
Why are there so many up tight people on here who have a hissy fit when they get a certain type of message off a man? Nine times out of 10 the man is probably out of their league yet because men on here have no standards and will fuck anyone this has lead women to believe they are above most men.
(Looking forward to the women now slagging me off, enjoy, and say what you want because you won't be getting banned, because your a woman and I'm a man. I also look forward to those men who will slag me off in the hope that women will go, yea he's brown nosing us, I'm definitely gonna message him)."
This thread isnt breaking forum rules which is why its not banned |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suppose any woman or couple wanting a message to talk about something other than sex might put something in their profile: hobbies, interests, taste in music, etc
That they don't probably explains why messages are so sex centred.
Art wise I love the impressionists and surrealists
"Swans reflecting elephants" being a favourite
X
It's the mentality of ignorant men, simple as that. The type who think any woman on here is fair game for being treated like some kind of slut.
Nothing will change that. Thankfully the more intelligent guys also appear on here "
hopefully that was aimed at me |
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"I suppose any woman or couple wanting a message to talk about something other than sex might put something in their profile: hobbies, interests, taste in music, etc
That they don't probably explains why messages are so sex centred.
Art wise I love the impressionists and surrealists
"Swans reflecting elephants" being a favourite
X
It's the mentality of ignorant men, simple as that. The type who think any woman on here is fair game for being treated like some kind of slut.
Nothing will change that. Thankfully the more intelligent guys also appear on here hopefully that was aimed at me "
Why you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How has this thread not been banned by admin? Oh wait, it's only bashing men.
Why are there so many up tight people on here who have a hissy fit when they get a certain type of message off a man? Nine times out of 10 the man is probably out of their league yet because men on here have no standards and will fuck anyone this has lead women to believe they are above most men.
(Looking forward to the women now slagging me off, enjoy, and say what you want because you won't be getting banned, because your a woman and I'm a man. I also look forward to those men who will slag me off in the hope that women will go, yea he's brown nosing us, I'm definitely gonna message him).
This thread isnt breaking forum rules which is why its not banned"
Iv been banned for far less, in fact, I still don't know why I was banned for 48 hours. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How has this thread not been banned by admin? Oh wait, it's only bashing men.
Why are there so many up tight people on here who have a hissy fit when they get a certain type of message off a man? Nine times out of 10 the man is probably out of their league yet because men on here have no standards and will fuck anyone this has lead women to believe they are above most men.
(Looking forward to the women now slagging me off, enjoy, and say what you want because you won't be getting banned, because your a woman and I'm a man. I also look forward to those men who will slag me off in the hope that women will go, yea he's brown nosing us, I'm definitely gonna message him).
This thread isnt breaking forum rules which is why its not banned
Iv been banned for far less, in fact, I still don't know why I was banned for 48 hours."
i wonder if its more of the women are sick of being told by men theyre fantastic in bed to feel more let down when there not and sick of hearing boys ? with no experience no stamina no imagination no stimulation both mentally and physically , iv yet to find a woman can make me cum with an hr , n if any woman feels shes got something stimulating to say to this cheeky chappy fantastic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Who would want to be a guy on here when everywhere you turn you get treated like a second rate citizen?
The guys on here need to stand together with one voice and fight this discrimination. We need our own Dr Martin Luther King.
Does anyone have a dream? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who would want to be a guy on here when everywhere you turn you get treated like a second rate citizen?
The guys on here need to stand together with one voice and fight this discrimination. We need our own Dr Martin Luther King.
Does anyone have a dream? "
wet one |
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By *ty31Man
over a year ago
NW London |
Maybe more men should try it like this:
There was a girl who lived at number thirty
She joined fab feeling just a bit dirty
All she wanted was a guy to be just Nice
What she got made her start to think twice
The boys tried to impress
Sending pics in states of undress
But didn't have much to shout about
She thought they were just louts
Maybe she should try her luck with ladies instead!!
|
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By *MaleMan
over a year ago
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"Why on earth do some women whine about other people yet don't change the fundamental issue that causes them such angst?"
More time moaning about those they aint interested in than focusing on those they might be interested in
Sexy as |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe more men should try it like this:
There was a girl who lived at number thirty
She joined fab feeling just a bit dirty
All she wanted was a guy to be just Nice
What she got made her start to think twice
The boys tried to impress
Sending pics in states of undress
But didn't have much to shout about
She thought they were just louts
Maybe she should try her luck with ladies instead!!
"
lol, made me smile. x |
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