FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > If you haven't got anything nice to say
If you haven't got anything nice to say
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've been on here for a while and I'm perplexed by people posting a thread of something that seems so innocent and before you know it so many people are on the case giving them so much grief. If you don't like what they write why not just ignore it, I thought the whole swingers scene was supposed to be open minded about everything? Someone's cup of tea may not be the liking to everyone but why be so mean. |
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Why not keep it positive?
Start a thread where people are invited to say nice things about each other?
Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Over The Rainbow & What A Wonderful World
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z26BvHOD_sg
Rainbows, puppy dogs and kittens |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on here for a while and I'm perplexed by people posting a thread of something that seems so innocent and before you know it so many people are on the case giving them so much grief. If you don't like what they write why not just ignore it, I thought the whole swingers scene was supposed to be open minded about everything? Someone's cup of tea may not be the liking to everyone but why be so mean. "
Are you being negative and mean about people here?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What would be the point of just writing to posts that you agree with?"
Disagreement is fine. Difference of opinion is great. But often the attacks are personal and of a pack nature. In other words one person disagrees and others just jump on it like hyenas.
I would hope everyone would be up for healthy debate. Quite often though it seems to be nothing short of playground bullying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What would be the point of just writing to posts that you agree with?
Disagreement is fine. Difference of opinion is great. But often the attacks are personal and of a pack nature. In other words one person disagrees and others just jump on it like hyenas.
I would hope everyone would be up for healthy debate. Quite often though it seems to be nothing short of playground bullying."
That is right. I wonder how many checks the rules before posting if they don't agree with someone's _iew. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not noticed any bullying. And if people are so delicate maybe they should avoid giving an opinion
Really, it's not that bad here.
I've seen far worse elsewhere. "
Thats what I thought |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not noticed any bullying. And if people are so delicate maybe they should avoid giving an opinion"
I think there is.
I also think that those who may not be as literate or perhaps have different sensibilities should be allowed to put their opinion across with out fear of a disproportionate response. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't mention bareback as a thread, the std police would be in shortly lol  "
Or racist homophobic ginger bbw bareback paedophile...that would be a bad thread...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's what happens I guess when loads of folk with strong _iews gather to discuss stuff...
Even the houses of parliament bitch and shout across the house :/ human nature I guess.
I don't think anyone here is actually fussed by any of the bickering on the forums are they? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not noticed any bullying. And if people are so delicate maybe they should avoid giving an opinion
Really, it's not that bad here.
I've seen far worse elsewhere. "
Still doesn't make it right though..thats like saying 'I may be a cnut, but at least I'm not Idi Amin!' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not noticed any bullying. And if people are so delicate maybe they should avoid giving an opinion
I think there is.
I also think that those who may not be as literate or perhaps have different sensibilities should be allowed to put their opinion across with out fear of a disproportionate response."
Who decides what a proportionate response is? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not noticed any bullying. And if people are so delicate maybe they should avoid giving an opinion
I think there is.
I also think that those who may not be as literate or perhaps have different sensibilities should be allowed to put their opinion across with out fear of a disproportionate response.
Who decides what a proportionate response is? "
The mods...everyone has a right to ask them to look at any post if they think it is unreasonable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Who decides what a proportionate response is?
Hmmm. Good point, and that I don't know the answer to! "
But does it need to be more self policed? Within the forum members perhaps? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Who decides what a proportionate response is?
Hmmm. Good point, and that I don't know the answer to!
But does it need to be more self policed? Within the forum members perhaps?"
Well wouldn't that be just another form of ganging up? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on here for a while and I'm perplexed by people posting a thread of something that seems so innocent and before you know it so many people are on the case giving them so much grief. If you don't like what they write why not just ignore it, I thought the whole swingers scene was supposed to be open minded about everything? Someone's cup of tea may not be the liking to everyone but why be so mean. "
Do not say you do not like tattoos on a tattoo thread as all hell breaks loose...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Come on everyone let's play nicely for a bit. I shall get the Twister mat. "
We found a great twister game for the shower hopefully it's really ?? could be a hole lot of fun x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree with the op. I've only been here a few weeks and some simple questions have been turned around and shoved back down the op's throat.
Mind you, most of those questions could have been answered with a simple search first. |
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"
Who decides what a proportionate response is?
Hmmm. Good point, and that I don't know the answer to!
But does it need to be more self policed? Within the forum members perhaps?"
The mods are forum members.
Everyone can challenge another members post. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not noticed any bullying. And if people are so delicate maybe they should avoid giving an opinion
I think there is.
I also think that those who may not be as literate or perhaps have different sensibilities should be allowed to put their opinion across with out fear of a disproportionate response.
Who decides what a proportionate response is?
The mods...everyone has a right to ask them to look at any post if they think it is unreasonable"
And what if they don't think it's unreasonable? My point is what is unreasonable to one might be fine with others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Come on everyone let's play nicely for a bit. I shall get the Twister mat.
We found a great twister game for the shower hopefully it's really ?? could be a hole lot of fun x"
Love the freudian slip |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Who decides what a proportionate response is?
Hmmm. Good point, and that I don't know the answer to!
But does it need to be more self policed? Within the forum members perhaps?"
It's quite easy to spot them now... ( none on here yet  )
I look to see who has posted or replied and then join or walk by...I have waded in a couple times to lend help but there is a pack of about 5 or 6 that have hate inscribed on their foreheads...guess they aren't meeting anyone or havent for a long while...lol.
But in a serious note....There is a clear pattern...just scan and take note. They've just been on here too long I'm guessing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not noticed any bullying. And if people are so delicate maybe they should avoid giving an opinion
I think there is.
I also think that those who may not be as literate or perhaps have different sensibilities should be allowed to put their opinion across with out fear of a disproportionate response.
Who decides what a proportionate response is?
The mods...everyone has a right to ask them to look at any post if they think it is unreasonable
And what if they don't think it's unreasonable? My point is what is unreasonable to one might be fine with others"
Yes. I thought that was the point of a forum.
- I think X
- So do I
Not terribly lively, eh? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is how is see fab!
Imagine I (or anyone else) am standing in front of 10 women. I say to them "my ladies, you look beautiful today!" Of those 10 ladies, six will smile and say thank you, two will say "why, do I not look good every other day?", One Will say "well if you complimenting all of us then it doesn't really mean anything! !", And a last will question my motives and ask me "what I'm after!"
If people look for offence they can find it just about anywhere! Fortunately I'm with the first six! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not noticed any bullying. And if people are so delicate maybe they should avoid giving an opinion
I think there is.
I also think that those who may not be as literate or perhaps have different sensibilities should be allowed to put their opinion across with out fear of a disproportionate response."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not noticed any bullying. And if people are so delicate maybe they should avoid giving an opinion
I think there is.
I also think that those who may not be as literate or perhaps have different sensibilities should be allowed to put their opinion across with out fear of a disproportionate response.
Who decides what a proportionate response is?
The mods...everyone has a right to ask them to look at any post if they think it is unreasonable
And what if they don't think it's unreasonable? My point is what is unreasonable to one might be fine with others
Yes. I thought that was the point of a forum.
- I think X
- So do I
Not terribly lively, eh?"
No, you're supposed to argue with me for goodness sake |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not noticed any bullying. And if people are so delicate maybe they should avoid giving an opinion
I think there is.
I also think that those who may not be as literate or perhaps have different sensibilities should be allowed to put their opinion across with out fear of a disproportionate response.
Who decides what a proportionate response is?
The mods...everyone has a right to ask them to look at any post if they think it is unreasonable
And what if they don't think it's unreasonable? My point is what is unreasonable to one might be fine with others"
This is true, but they make sure that it is within site guidelines and not inflammatory. Very little is black and white and there has to be room for free speech.
As always a big issue with written speech is lack of emotion and inflection (unless the poster is particularly eloquent) so a lot of times posts can be misread, or can be read a couple of different ways, even dependent upon the mindset of the person reading the post. |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"Not noticed any bullying. And if people are so delicate maybe they should avoid giving an opinion
I think there is.
I also think that those who may not be as literate or perhaps have different sensibilities should be allowed to put their opinion across with out fear of a disproportionate response.
Who decides what a proportionate response is?
The mods...everyone has a right to ask them to look at any post if they think it is unreasonable
And what if they don't think it's unreasonable? My point is what is unreasonable to one might be fine with others
This is true, but they make sure that it is within site guidelines and not inflammatory. Very little is black and white and there has to be room for free speech.
As always a big issue with written speech is lack of emotion and inflection (unless the poster is particularly eloquent) so a lot of times posts can be misread, or can be read a couple of different ways, even dependent upon the mindset of the person reading the post."
Just to clarify, if someone reports a post it gets re_iewed by Admin and not the forum mods so they obviously have a pretty clear _iew on what they consider to be unreasonable on the site.
The mods follow the guidelines from Admin about how they want the forums to be moderated. So if you think the mods have missed something then just report it and Admin will re_iew. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not noticed any bullying. And if people are so delicate maybe they should avoid giving an opinion
I think there is.
I also think that those who may not be as literate or perhaps have different sensibilities should be allowed to put their opinion across with out fear of a disproportionate response.
Who decides what a proportionate response is?
The mods...everyone has a right to ask them to look at any post if they think it is unreasonable
And what if they don't think it's unreasonable? My point is what is unreasonable to one might be fine with others
This is true, but they make sure that it is within site guidelines and not inflammatory. Very little is black and white and there has to be room for free speech.
As always a big issue with written speech is lack of emotion and inflection (unless the poster is particularly eloquent) so a lot of times posts can be misread, or can be read a couple of different ways, even dependent upon the mindset of the person reading the post."
Yep! See my post above!
I've learnt two valuable lessons in the last couple of days!
The first was NEVER put a site suggestion forward that could, in any way, buy any person, be _iewed as contentious - because the wolf pack will descend on you in seconds!
And secondly - when they do - NEVER let them know that you're upset or try to appeal to their better nature! If you do this more turn up and attack you even more - until you're crying for hours and thinking 'well I MUST be a horrible person - all those people say I am!'
I've learned the hard way - unless you can cope with a big group of people going for your throat - stick to kiss pass fuck and the nocturnal role call!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yep! See my post above!
I've learnt two valuable lessons in the last couple of days!
The first was NEVER put a site suggestion forward that could, in any way, buy any person, be _iewed as contentious - because the wolf pack will descend on you in seconds!
And secondly - when they do - NEVER let them know that you're upset or try to appeal to their better nature! If you do this more turn up and attack you even more - until you're crying for hours and thinking 'well I MUST be a horrible person - all those people say I am!'
I've learned the hard way - unless you can cope with a big group of people going for your throat - stick to kiss pass fuck and the nocturnal role call!! "
So therefore the forum has lost your opinion which makes the forum a poorer place.
I want to argue the toss with you. But at the end I want to have learnt something and for us both to have enjoyed it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yep! See my post above!
I've learnt two valuable lessons in the last couple of days!
The first was NEVER put a site suggestion forward that could, in any way, buy any person, be _iewed as contentious - because the wolf pack will descend on you in seconds!
And secondly - when they do - NEVER let them know that you're upset or try to appeal to their better nature! If you do this more turn up and attack you even more - until you're crying for hours and thinking 'well I MUST be a horrible person - all those people say I am!'
I've learned the hard way - unless you can cope with a big group of people going for your throat - stick to kiss pass fuck and the nocturnal role call!!
So therefore the forum has lost your opinion which makes the forum a poorer place.
I want to argue the toss with you. But at the end I want to have learnt something and for us both to have enjoyed it."
To be honest I think you can give your opinion if you're a couple - there are two of you - which make you less vulnerable to those who enjoy the attack! From what I've seen it tends to be the singles who are attacked as we're one person - therefore more vulnerable! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
So therefore the forum has lost your opinion which makes the forum a poorer place.
I want to argue the toss with you. But at the end I want to have learnt something and for us both to have enjoyed it."
Thats an issue when people take a genuine question or opinion (yes, everyone IS allowed to have one) and take it as a personal attack. Unfortunately when some people sit behind their screen the only opinion that matters is their own. To debate is human nature, its how we grow...we learn from one another...many times in the past I have conceded an argument if someone else has put forward a better point. I accept my limitations. ..
As the dalai lama said:
"When we listen we learn, when we speak we only repeat what we already know" |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"I've been on here for a while and I'm perplexed by people posting a thread of something that seems so innocent and before you know it so many people are on the case giving them so much grief. If you don't like what they write why not just ignore it, I thought the whole swingers scene was supposed to be open minded about everything? Someone's cup of tea may not be the liking to everyone but why be so mean. "
If you don't like what someone writes in a forum thread why don't you ignore it rather that start another thread complaining about it?
The nature of a forum is that it gives people the opportunity to express their own _iews or prejudices - and what's wrong with that?
Do you really want a thread in which everyone says "I agree with the OP"? The trouble is that if someone doesn't agree they are seen as being "mean" - they aren't , they just disagree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not noticed any bullying. And if people are so delicate maybe they should avoid giving an opinion
I think there is.
I also think that those who may not be as literate or perhaps have different sensibilities should be allowed to put their opinion across with out fear of a disproportionate response.
Who decides what a proportionate response is?
The mods...everyone has a right to ask them to look at any post if they think it is unreasonable
And what if they don't think it's unreasonable? My point is what is unreasonable to one might be fine with others"
Fair point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is how is see fab!
Imagine I (or anyone else) am standing in front of 10 women. I say to them "my ladies, you look beautiful today!" Of those 10 ladies, six will smile and say thank you, two will say "why, do I not look good every other day?", One Will say "well if you complimenting all of us then it doesn't really mean anything! !", And a last will question my motives and ask me "what I'm after!"
If people look for offence they can find it just about anywhere! Fortunately I'm with the first six! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not noticed any bullying. And if people are so delicate maybe they should avoid giving an opinion
I think there is.
I also think that those who may not be as literate or perhaps have different sensibilities should be allowed to put their opinion across with out fear of a disproportionate response.
Who decides what a proportionate response is?
The mods...everyone has a right to ask them to look at any post if they think it is unreasonable
And what if they don't think it's unreasonable? My point is what is unreasonable to one might be fine with others
Yes. I thought that was the point of a forum.
- I think X
- So do I
Not terribly lively, eh?
No, you're supposed to argue with me for goodness sake "
Beggar off, then. You know I am right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I put it down to insecurities or bad upbringing.
And that some people just genuinely enjoy being nasty. Which is very sad."
Yep! It's only in the last fews days that I've actually got my head round that! Fab is the only social media I use you see - and I live in a very friendly town where strangers chat to each other at the supermarket checkout - so it came as a shock! Pack mentality was a shock too!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I put it down to insecurities or bad upbringing.
And that some people just genuinely enjoy being nasty. Which is very sad.
Yep! It's only in the last fews days that I've actually got my head round that! Fab is the only social media I use you see - and I live in a very friendly town where strangers chat to each other at the supermarket checkout - so it came as a shock! Pack mentality was a shock too! "
Yup, you see it lot in here...
I suppose it's almost natural that folk who chat a lot on here and share a lot of opinions will gang up to back each other up...that and I guess those who just happen to agree with them jump in too.
I do it myself, if I see a friend on here I'll back them up in a debate...
Humans form groups I suppose...it keeps things interesting I guess rather than all agreeing on everything |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What made me write this post was the fact someone asked for phone sex. Now it wasn't really a do you agree with phone sex or not question it was..does anyone want phone sex, now if you didn't then surely the thing to do would be to ignore it not slate him? Does that make sense. If it's a question then yeah I agree everyone has different _iews and opinions hence the forum to discuss such things. If someone is seeking something and it's not for you why be mean? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Someone has a fantasy they express that fantasy in the fantasy section and people go on and make crappy comments? What's the point? I'm just saying things could be nicer on here. |
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"I do it myself, if I see a friend on here I'll back them up in a debate...
Humans form groups I suppose...it keeps things interesting I guess rather than all agreeing on everything "
I won't back someone up unless I agree with them, regardless of whether they're a friend or not. |
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"What made me write this post was the fact someone asked for phone sex. Now it wasn't really a do you agree with phone sex or not question it was..does anyone want phone sex, now if you didn't then surely the thing to do would be to ignore it not slate him? Does that make sense. If it's a question then yeah I agree everyone has different _iews and opinions hence the forum to discuss such things. If someone is seeking something and it's not for you why be mean?"
Because some people love the sound of their own voice, even online.
If I see a thread I have no interest in, I don't bother with it. Some people lack that ability |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do it myself, if I see a friend on here I'll back them up in a debate...
Humans form groups I suppose...it keeps things interesting I guess rather than all agreeing on everything
I won't back someone up unless I agree with them, regardless of whether they're a friend or not."
That's why I specified people who share opinions...means they agree |
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"I do it myself, if I see a friend on here I'll back them up in a debate...
Humans form groups I suppose...it keeps things interesting I guess rather than all agreeing on everything
I won't back someone up unless I agree with them, regardless of whether they're a friend or not.
That's why I specified people who share opinions...means they agree "
Yes I know what share opinions means, lol.
What I was saying was that I wouldn't back up someone who was a friend just because they were a friend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What made me write this post was the fact someone asked for phone sex. Now it wasn't really a do you agree with phone sex or not question it was..does anyone want phone sex, now if you didn't then surely the thing to do would be to ignore it not slate him? Does that make sense. If it's a question then yeah I agree everyone has different _iews and opinions hence the forum to discuss such things. If someone is seeking something and it's not for you why be mean?"
On that post, I did not see him being slated, just most (but not all) expressing a disinterest in that activity? What is the problem with that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do it myself, if I see a friend on here I'll back them up in a debate...
Humans form groups I suppose...it keeps things interesting I guess rather than all agreeing on everything
I won't back someone up unless I agree with them, regardless of whether they're a friend or not.
That's why I specified people who share opinions...means they agree
Yes I know what share opinions means, lol.
What I was saying was that I wouldn't back up someone who was a friend just because they were a friend"
Really? I would if they were my friend and I thought hey were right.
Thought that's what friends did?
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"I've been on here for a while and I'm perplexed by people posting a thread of something that seems so innocent and before you know it so many people are on the case giving them so much grief. If you don't like what they write why not just ignore it, I thought the whole swingers scene was supposed to be open minded about everything? Someone's cup of tea may not be the liking to everyone but why be so mean. "
It's called trolling. The term reflects the person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What would be the point of just writing to posts that you agree with?
Disagreement is fine. Difference of opinion is great. But often the attacks are personal and of a pack nature. In other words one person disagrees and others just jump on it like hyenas.
I would hope everyone would be up for healthy debate. Quite often though it seems to be nothing short of playground bullying."
Totally agree and have before but pointing that our usually results in either a forum ban or being shunned by the pack when you post anything more for the next month so I just walk away once the pack home in now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep every time we've posted, usually a simple question, the negativity pours out so now we really bother, let them enjoy their games"
Again, that's back to being a loss to the forum.... |
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"Yep every time we've posted, usually a simple question, the negativity pours out so now we really bother, let them enjoy their games"
I totally avoid topics that interest me or there could be some interesting debate on ... what happens in, on the whole, predictable and mainstream .... not open minded at all. I don't tend to post on my single profile any more. Have had a couple of run ins with the clique, and just think to myself .... really? Nothing else to do than be here? Now, dont get me wrong, because some people here have some really interesting opinions, people I would love to chew the cud with, but for many its all about look at me and listen to me ... so much attention seeking. I get enough attention in real life, so not worried about it here. No pack of wolves would upset me because I see them as ..... but actually can't wait until the day, one day, when I meet one of them without their 'pack' at a club or something ... how will they be then? I'll be not half as brave ... |
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"I do it myself, if I see a friend on here I'll back them up in a debate...
Humans form groups I suppose...it keeps things interesting I guess rather than all agreeing on everything
I won't back someone up unless I agree with them, regardless of whether they're a friend or not.
That's why I specified people who share opinions...means they agree
Yes I know what share opinions means, lol.
What I was saying was that I wouldn't back up someone who was a friend just because they were a friend
Really? I would if they were my friend and I thought hey were right.
Thought that's what friends did?
"
If I didn't agree with them I wouldn't. If I did and felt the need to say something I would. If the point had already been made, then I wouldn't, because then it looks like ganging up on people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hard to know what to say when people pick it apart we all on here to experience individual difference , if someone asks for advice or reaches out for a mind to relate too , why if you aint the right audience would you bully or personally attack another, swinging about embracing openness to difference not nit picking , it is bullying , we all unique deal with it or find what your unique thing is |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on here for a while and I'm perplexed by people posting a thread of something that seems so innocent and before you know it so many people are on the case giving them so much grief. If you don't like what they write why not just ignore it, I thought the whole swingers scene was supposed to be open minded about everything? Someone's cup of tea may not be the liking to everyone but why be so mean. "
this is the forums and forumites are the been there done that types some are really nice people and some are confrontational ,if you have an opinion you have to accept someone will have an opposing one  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on here for a while and I'm perplexed by people posting a thread of something that seems so innocent and before you know it so many people are on the case giving them so much grief. If you don't like what they write why not just ignore it, I thought the whole swingers scene was supposed to be open minded about everything? Someone's cup of tea may not be the liking to everyone but why be so mean.
It's called trolling. The term reflects the person. "
We thought trolling was the intention of the forum as most threads turn into a bitchfest of epic proportions usually based on two conflicting opinions |
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"Disagreement is fine. Difference of opinion is great. But often the attacks are personal and of a pack nature. In other words one person disagrees and others just jump on it like hyenas."
I don't see that myself. Often lots of people have a similar opinion.
More often I see one person trying to upset the rest of the people posting. Or even worse, having it in for one other person.
But those people get known for being unpleasant and life goes on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Disagreement is fine. Difference of opinion is great. But often the attacks are personal and of a pack nature. In other words one person disagrees and others just jump on it like hyenas.
I don't see that myself. Often lots of people have a similar opinion.
More often I see one person trying to upset the rest of the people posting. Or even worse, having it in for one other person.
But those people get known for being unpleasant and life goes on "
yes but often it's the same people on every thread that goes tits up that attack one person..... And then claim it is them being abused and that's why they do it,many should find a life and get out more,we used to call them the 24/7 ers usually unemployed layabouts or single mothers that get porked out of all proportion on this site that they begin to feel it's thier rightfull place in life,somewhere you can attack others without the need to wobble off thier fat arse.. Then the guys that back them up often using wit and guile to attempt to enter thier oh so easy knicker lining....if it ain't snapped just an observation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Disagreement is fine. Difference of opinion is great. But often the attacks are personal and of a pack nature. In other words one person disagrees and others just jump on it like hyenas.
I don't see that myself. Often lots of people have a similar opinion.
More often I see one person trying to upset the rest of the people posting. Or even worse, having it in for one other person.
But those people get known for being unpleasant and life goes on yes but often it's the same people on every thread that goes tits up that attack one person..... And then claim it is them being abused and that's why they do it,many should find a life and get out more,we used to call them the 24/7 ers usually unemployed layabouts or single mothers that get porked out of all proportion on this site that they begin to feel it's thier rightfull place in life,somewhere you can attack others without the need to wobble off thier fat arse.. Then the guys that back them up often using wit and guile to attempt to enter thier oh so easy knicker lining....if it ain't snapped just an observation "
Pmsl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Disagreement is fine. Difference of opinion is great. But often the attacks are personal and of a pack nature. In other words one person disagrees and others just jump on it like hyenas.
I don't see that myself. Often lots of people have a similar opinion.
More often I see one person trying to upset the rest of the people posting. Or even worse, having it in for one other person.
But those people get known for being unpleasant and life goes on yes but often it's the same people on every thread that goes tits up that attack one person..... And then claim it is them being abused and that's why they do it,many should find a life and get out more,we used to call them the 24/7 ers usually unemployed layabouts or single mothers that get porked out of all proportion on this site that they begin to feel it's thier rightfull place in life,somewhere you can attack others without the need to wobble off thier fat arse.. Then the guys that back them up often using wit and guile to attempt to enter thier oh so easy knicker lining....if it ain't snapped just an observation "
Are you in Marketing? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Disagreement is fine. Difference of opinion is great. But often the attacks are personal and of a pack nature. In other words one person disagrees and others just jump on it like hyenas.
I don't see that myself. Often lots of people have a similar opinion.
More often I see one person trying to upset the rest of the people posting. Or even worse, having it in for one other person.
But those people get known for being unpleasant and life goes on yes but often it's the same people on every thread that goes tits up that attack one person..... And then claim it is them being abused and that's why they do it,many should find a life and get out more,we used to call them the 24/7 ers usually unemployed layabouts or single mothers that get porked out of all proportion on this site that they begin to feel it's thier rightfull place in life,somewhere you can attack others without the need to wobble off thier fat arse.. Then the guys that back them up often using wit and guile to attempt to enter thier oh so easy knicker lining....if it ain't snapped just an observation
Are you in Marketing? "
Politician ..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Disagreement is fine. Difference of opinion is great. But often the attacks are personal and of a pack nature. In other words one person disagrees and others just jump on it like hyenas.
I don't see that myself. Often lots of people have a similar opinion.
More often I see one person trying to upset the rest of the people posting. Or even worse, having it in for one other person.
But those people get known for being unpleasant and life goes on yes but often it's the same people on every thread that goes tits up that attack one person..... And then claim it is them being abused and that's why they do it,many should find a life and get out more,we used to call them the 24/7 ers usually unemployed layabouts or single mothers that get porked out of all proportion on this site that they begin to feel it's thier rightfull place in life,somewhere you can attack others without the need to wobble off thier fat arse.. Then the guys that back them up often using wit and guile to attempt to enter thier oh so easy knicker lining....if it ain't snapped just an observation "
Id also add the ones that do it will often come in threads like this and either deny it happens, try to excuse it as acceptable in some bullshit way or try to discredit the OP of the thread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"but the level of self-awareness is not great and people will prod at others, before looking at themselves.
Very, very few are without sin"
What a pretentious prick |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"but the level of self-awareness is not great and people will prod at others, before looking at themselves.
Very, very few are without sin
What a pretentious prick"
cheers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"but the level of self-awareness is not great and people will prod at others, before looking at themselves.
Very, very few are without sin
What a pretentious prick"
In what way is he? It's so true it'suunbelievable at times lol. Think you just proved his point! It reiterates what I've noticed on here to about couples....I'm sure they're not all like you but my experience on here seems to show their heads up their arses far too much to be healthy. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"but the level of self-awareness is not great and people will prod at others, before looking at themselves.
Very, very few are without sin
What a pretentious prick
In what way is he? It's so true it'suunbelievable at times lol. Think you just proved his point! It reiterates what I've noticed on here to about couples....I'm sure they're not all like you but my experience on here seems to show their heads up their arses far too much to be healthy."
their comment caused me no offence at all, I have volumes of self worth and a few words from people on the internet mean nothing to me and will never impact me.
it's as relevant as the shit I flushed away yesterday.
I consider myself a pretentious prick |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is how is see fab!
Imagine I (or anyone else) am standing in front of 10 women. I say to them "my ladies, you look beautiful today!" Of those 10 ladies, six will smile and say thank you, two will say "why, do I not look good every other day?", One Will say "well if you complimenting all of us then it doesn't really mean anything! !", And a last will question my motives and ask me "what I'm after!"
If people look for offence they can find it just about anywhere! Fortunately I'm with the first six! "
Beautifully put! |
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"This is how is see fab!
Imagine I (or anyone else) am standing in front of 10 women. I say to them "my ladies, you look beautiful today!" Of those 10 ladies, six will smile and say thank you, two will say "why, do I not look good every other day?", One Will say "well if you complimenting all of us then it doesn't really mean anything! !", And a last will question my motives and ask me "what I'm after!"
If people look for offence they can find it just about anywhere! Fortunately I'm with the first six!
Beautifully put! "
By this yard stick I am an awkward sod, because I would not need or relish a supposed compliment from a random stranger .... yet I know in real life I am a pleasant and caring person .... or am I? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is how is see fab!
Imagine I (or anyone else) am standing in front of 10 women. I say to them "my ladies, you look beautiful today!" Of those 10 ladies, six will smile and say thank you, two will say "why, do I not look good every other day?", One Will say "well if you complimenting all of us then it doesn't really mean anything! !", And a last will question my motives and ask me "what I'm after!"
If people look for offence they can find it just about anywhere! Fortunately I'm with the first six!
Beautifully put!
By this yard stick I am an awkward sod, because I would not need or relish a supposed compliment from a random stranger .... yet I know in real life I am a pleasant and caring person .... or am I?"
Well if you don't even know pepper - how am I supposed to know? |
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"This is how is see fab!
Imagine I (or anyone else) am standing in front of 10 women. I say to them "my ladies, you look beautiful today!" Of those 10 ladies, six will smile and say thank you, two will say "why, do I not look good every other day?", One Will say "well if you complimenting all of us then it doesn't really mean anything! !", And a last will question my motives and ask me "what I'm after!"
If people look for offence they can find it just about anywhere! Fortunately I'm with the first six!
Beautifully put!
By this yard stick I am an awkward sod, because I would not need or relish a supposed compliment from a random stranger .... yet I know in real life I am a pleasant and caring person .... or am I?
Well if you don't even know pepper - how am I supposed to know? "
I like to think I am, but then again, maybe I am a bitch because I may well bite that man's head off. If you have experienced this at a club or party, you will agree I am sure .... but in real life I know I am caring and kind. I think each situation is different and depends upon the people involved. Maybe that is why the online forum world is difficult because in the flesh you can read body language and intonation, and on here you cant. Most of my comments, both on this and the couple profile I have with black cop, are tongue in cheek and reflective .... sort of looking inwards. |
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"I've been on here for a while and I'm perplexed by people posting a thread of something that seems so innocent and before you know it so many people are on the case giving them so much grief. If you don't like what they write why not just ignore it, I thought the whole swingers scene was supposed to be open minded about everything? Someone's cup of tea may not be the liking to everyone but why be so mean. "
Agree fully, some are quick to judge and make assumptions about those that post.
I recently wrote a post to be jumped on by people assuming I had no filters set, or that I was after tonnes of messages, when actually the point if the thread was message content.
Seems far to many in fabs that like to judge others |
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"This is how is see fab!
Imagine I (or anyone else) am standing in front of 10 women. I say to them "my ladies, you look beautiful today!" Of those 10 ladies, six will smile and say thank you, two will say "why, do I not look good every other day?", One Will say "well if you complimenting all of us then it doesn't really mean anything! !", And a last will question my motives and ask me "what I'm after!"
If people look for offence they can find it just about anywhere! Fortunately I'm with the first six! "
Haha quite true!
We all have a choice to take offence or not, lash out or not, to retaliate in kind or to try to BE kind. |
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"
So therefore the forum has lost your opinion which makes the forum a poorer place.
I want to argue the toss with you. But at the end I want to have learnt something and for us both to have enjoyed it.
Thats an issue when people take a genuine question or opinion (yes, everyone IS allowed to have one) and take it as a personal attack. Unfortunately when some people sit behind their screen the only opinion that matters is their own. To debate is human nature, its how we grow...we learn from one another...many times in the past I have conceded an argument if someone else has put forward a better point. I accept my limitations. ..
As the dalai lama said:
"When we listen we learn, when we speak we only repeat what we already know""
Well said sir! |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
the angst, outrage, need to rant is staggering at times on here and achieves very, very little, if anything.
People will be offended if they look for it, wear it like a badge of honour and/or it attracts people to provide comfort....
if you need it, savour it. |
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"but the level of self-awareness is not great and people will prod at others, before looking at themselves.
Very, very few are without sin"
Yup - its a good idea to take a step back and observe, both ourselves and others, there's a lot to be learned.....  |
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"but the level of self-awareness is not great and people will prod at others, before looking at themselves.
Very, very few are without sin"
And, it is often apparent, that which people often take offence at or lash out at is that which offends them most about themselves.
Ooh I'm getting deep.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"but the level of self-awareness is not great and people will prod at others, before looking at themselves.
Very, very few are without sin
What a pretentious prick
In what way is he? It's so true it'suunbelievable at times lol. Think you just proved his point! It reiterates what I've noticed on here to about couples....I'm sure they're not all like you but my experience on here seems to show their heads up their arses far too much to be healthy.
their comment caused me no offence at all, I have volumes of self worth and a few words from people on the internet mean nothing to me and will never impact me.
it's as relevant as the shit I flushed away yesterday.
I consider myself a pretentious prick "
Exactly. Thank you View. And from previous posts of yours I pretty much knew how you would take it and you helped me make a point, hopefully more can learn from that. Surprised I didn't get more stick from others though, just the one from someone who has an issue with couples really, guess he thought fucking them would be easy but has been turned down too many times. Yes this is a couples profile but Claire very rarely posts in the forums, she deals with the messages and perves over the pics |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"but the level of self-awareness is not great and people will prod at others, before looking at themselves.
Very, very few are without sin
What a pretentious prick
In what way is he? It's so true it'suunbelievable at times lol. Think you just proved his point! It reiterates what I've noticed on here to about couples....I'm sure they're not all like you but my experience on here seems to show their heads up their arses far too much to be healthy.
their comment caused me no offence at all, I have volumes of self worth and a few words from people on the internet mean nothing to me and will never impact me.
it's as relevant as the shit I flushed away yesterday.
I consider myself a pretentious prick
Exactly. Thank you View. And from previous posts of yours I pretty much knew how you would take it and you helped me make a point, hopefully more can learn from that. Surprised I didn't get more stick from others though, just the one from someone who has an issue with couples really, guess he thought fucking them would be easy but has been turned down too many times. Yes this is a couples profile but Claire very rarely posts in the forums, she deals with the messages and perves over the pics "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"but the level of self-awareness is not great and people will prod at others, before looking at themselves.
Very, very few are without sin
What a pretentious prick
In what way is he? It's so true it'suunbelievable at times lol. Think you just proved his point! It reiterates what I've noticed on here to about couples....I'm sure they're not all like you but my experience on here seems to show their heads up their arses far too much to be healthy.
their comment caused me no offence at all, I have volumes of self worth and a few words from people on the internet mean nothing to me and will never impact me.
it's as relevant as the shit I flushed away yesterday.
I consider myself a pretentious prick
Exactly. Thank you View. And from previous posts of yours I pretty much knew how you would take it and you helped me make a point, hopefully more can learn from that. Surprised I didn't get more stick from others though, just the one from someone who has an issue with couples really, guess he thought fucking them would be easy but has been turned down too many times. Yes this is a couples profile but Claire very rarely posts in the forums, she deals with the messages and perves over the pics "
I agree with him to some respect. I noticed it few couple's profiles where the comments are scathing, biting or sardonic. I guessed correctly that it was the male of the couples who posted on the forums. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"but the level of self-awareness is not great and people will prod at others, before looking at themselves.
Very, very few are without sin
What a pretentious prick
In what way is he? It's so true it'suunbelievable at times lol. Think you just proved his point! It reiterates what I've noticed on here to about couples....I'm sure they're not all like you but my experience on here seems to show their heads up their arses far too much to be healthy.
their comment caused me no offence at all, I have volumes of self worth and a few words from people on the internet mean nothing to me and will never impact me.
it's as relevant as the shit I flushed away yesterday.
I consider myself a pretentious prick
Exactly. Thank you View. And from previous posts of yours I pretty much knew how you would take it and you helped me make a point, hopefully more can learn from that. Surprised I didn't get more stick from others though, just the one from someone who has an issue with couples really, guess he thought fucking them would be easy but has been turned down too many times. Yes this is a couples profile but Claire very rarely posts in the forums, she deals with the messages and perves over the pics "
I've nothing against couples...I've never been remotely interested in couples if you read my profile you'd have clearly seen that. My comment was about observing much of their behaviour in forums. I've never approach a couple to be turned down. On the other hand I've had many couple approach me for 3somes or for him to watch but it's not my thing. Each has their own on here, some know what they want others are still finding out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"but the level of self-awareness is not great and people will prod at others, before looking at themselves.
Very, very few are without sin
What a pretentious prick
In what way is he? It's so true it'suunbelievable at times lol. Think you just proved his point! It reiterates what I've noticed on here to about couples....I'm sure they're not all like you but my experience on here seems to show their heads up their arses far too much to be healthy.
their comment caused me no offence at all, I have volumes of self worth and a few words from people on the internet mean nothing to me and will never impact me.
it's as relevant as the shit I flushed away yesterday.
I consider myself a pretentious prick
Exactly. Thank you View. And from previous posts of yours I pretty much knew how you would take it and you helped me make a point, hopefully more can learn from that. Surprised I didn't get more stick from others though, just the one from someone who has an issue with couples really, guess he thought fucking them would be easy but has been turned down too many times. Yes this is a couples profile but Claire very rarely posts in the forums, she deals with the messages and perves over the pics
I agree with him to some respect. I noticed it few couple's profiles where the comments are scathing, biting or sardonic. I guessed correctly that it was the male of the couples who posted on the forums. "
Agreed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"but the level of self-awareness is not great and people will prod at others, before looking at themselves.
Very, very few are without sin
What a pretentious prick
In what way is he? It's so true it'suunbelievable at times lol. Think you just proved his point! It reiterates what I've noticed on here to about couples....I'm sure they're not all like you but my experience on here seems to show their heads up their arses far too much to be healthy.
their comment caused me no offence at all, I have volumes of self worth and a few words from people on the internet mean nothing to me and will never impact me.
it's as relevant as the shit I flushed away yesterday.
I consider myself a pretentious prick
Exactly. Thank you View. And from previous posts of yours I pretty much knew how you would take it and you helped me make a point, hopefully more can learn from that. Surprised I didn't get more stick from others though, just the one from someone who has an issue with couples really, guess he thought fucking them would be easy but has been turned down too many times. Yes this is a couples profile but Claire very rarely posts in the forums, she deals with the messages and perves over the pics
I agree with him to some respect. I noticed it few couple's profiles where the comments are scathing, biting or sardonic. I guessed correctly that it was the male of the couples who posted on the forums.
Agreed "
Actually the only time I've received scathing, often highly personal remarks, it's invariably been from single fems!
To say there's any one group that's worse on fab than others is silly I think! Fab is a reflection of society - there are a lot of really lovely people on here and a few downright nasty ones! I'm trying not to let the downright nasty ones affect me any more - and to just be very grateful I'm me and not them! I like my rose tinted glasses and I'm keeping them forever - so there!! |
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I'm actually quite curious as to who has actually read the forum rules. 
As Jezebel said, if offensive posts are missed then everyone is free to report them. Admin will look at all the reports that come in. It might not be instant but they do look.
Personally I don't think there's any need to be mean to strangers on the Internet. You can disagree on a topic without being rude. You can state your opinion on something without making it personal. If someone asks a question then answer it if you have something constructive to say. You don't need to look at their profile to catch them out with whatever they've said. I think that makes me roll my eyes the most. Take the post at face value. Answer the question politely or leave it alone. It doesn't seem to be rocket science to me. By all means throw in some cheek, banter is good but be sure that the person on the receiving end can take it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm actually quite curious as to who has actually read the forum rules.
As Jezebel said, if offensive posts are missed then everyone is free to report them. Admin will look at all the reports that come in. It might not be instant but they do look.
Personally I don't think there's any need to be mean to strangers on the Internet. You can disagree on a topic without being rude. You can state your opinion on something without making it personal. If someone asks a question then answer it if you have something constructive to say. You don't need to look at their profile to catch them out with whatever they've said. I think that makes me roll my eyes the most. Take the post at face value. Answer the question politely or leave it alone. It doesn't seem to be rocket science to me. By all means throw in some cheek, banter is good but be sure that the person on the receiving end can take it. "
Hear hear!! God wouldn't it be lovely if everyone did that?? |
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It's a trifle unfair to critique profiles without being asked although the profile is often a reason contributing towards no meets. But I've done this before and been soundly spanked (metaphorically) for doing so. Especially harsh on people new to fab or the forum.
The anti cheats can get very personal too which is vile. It's ok to disagree and state of point of _iew, however strong the belief and the forums would be a poorer intellectual space if we all agreed but getting personal is not ok.
That's what I think anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm actually quite curious as to who has actually read the forum rules.
As Jezebel said, if offensive posts are missed then everyone is free to report them. Admin will look at all the reports that come in. It might not be instant but they do look.
Personally I don't think there's any need to be mean to strangers on the Internet. You can disagree on a topic without being rude. You can state your opinion on something without making it personal. If someone asks a question then answer it if you have something constructive to say. You don't need to look at their profile to catch them out with whatever they've said. I think that makes me roll my eyes the most. Take the post at face value. Answer the question politely or leave it alone. It doesn't seem to be rocket science to me. By all means throw in some cheek, banter is good but be sure that the person on the receiving end can take it. "
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is it from a tv programme? 