FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Somethings got to give
Somethings got to give
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So I'm sat here wondering about swinging and what it means to me. The fun I have had and the fun I can have with it.
Now I am an alternative male, I have piercings, I have postbox red hair and tattoos. I am a size 34 chest and a 30 waist (at a push).
This is and has always been me in life. Alternative, different and enthusiastic.
Now I am a talker, I can talk about the rain, the Internet or just how much I get annoyed about how people slate the new Doctor Who season.
But of late I am noticing a feeling of dismay as I look at my fab and realise I don't have many messages looks or even a cheeky wink.
Now us males we are a majority in this site, we outnumber women and couples 20 to 1 without a blink.
Though you read the profile, you comply with the wishes and because of the overwhelming soup that is the inbox of women and couples you either et ignored for being polite or don't stand out enough. But then how forward is to forward?
Swinging, dating whatever you want it as is a vast minefield of rejection and pondering.
Ladies, you rule the swing scene be it part of a couple or on your own. What do we are your humble entertainers need to do?
Just thought I would spark a discussion anyway lmao.
P.s this was not a pity me post lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't know is the answer, for me its about being yourself which ia why I love the forums as you get to know people's personalities. Most of the time I meet people in clubs etc rather than off of fab.
Question for you though, what is electricity play? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Two words, Clubs & Socials.
Ok technically that's three, but you get the gist.
Network, get yourself known, be nice to people, I'm sure the fun will follow!
Good luck fella!  |
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I don't think the "humble entertainers" as a group need to do anything although individuals could try harder (present company excepted of course).
It is what it is at base and that's a numbers game which limits the chances of the majority especially if they have niche tastes  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really think you have the answers in your own OP. I get that sometimes it is preferable to think the problem is complicated, that it is complex. But sometimes the problem, and the solution, is simple. Lots of guys. Less women and couples.
*Shrugs*
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't know is the answer, for me its about being yourself which ia why I love the forums as you get to know people's personalities. Most of the time I meet people in clubs etc rather than off of fab.
Question for you though, what is electricity play? "
Electro play is violet wand, tens machine play. It's a good laugh when you get into it and does not hurt.
Ye I can see this and in all honesty I am the same, I would rather meet up for coffee or in a club have an chin wag.
Humour does not translate well over text and me personally I put humour in as a kind of ice breaker but alas sometimes it can come across in other ways xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Two words, Clubs & Socials.
Ok technically that's three, but you get the gist.
Network, get yourself known, be nice to people, I'm sure the fun will follow!
Good luck fella! "
I do clubs and socials. I am the bouncy tigger who try's to make everyone smile and laugh and is usually the first to towel up lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't know is the answer, for me its about being yourself which ia why I love the forums as you get to know people's personalities. Most of the time I meet people in clubs etc rather than off of fab.
Question for you though, what is electricity play?
Electro play is violet wand, tens machine play. It's a good laugh when you get into it and does not hurt.
Ye I can see this and in all honesty I am the same, I would rather meet up for coffee or in a club have an chin wag.
Humour does not translate well over text and me personally I put humour in as a kind of ice breaker but alas sometimes it can come across in other ways xx"
Ah OK, thanks. Used tens etc before, not during sex though. I'm sure I still habe mine from my kids, might have to look it out and give it a go 
Nattering is my speciality, got to have humour x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I don't know is the answer, for me its about being yourself which ia why I love the forums as you get to know people's personalities. Most of the time I meet people in clubs etc rather than off of fab.
Question for you though, what is electricity play?
Electro play is violet wand, tens machine play. It's a good laugh when you get into it and does not hurt.
Ye I can see this and in all honesty I am the same, I would rather meet up for coffee or in a club have an chin wag.
Humour does not translate well over text and me personally I put humour in as a kind of ice breaker but alas sometimes it can come across in other ways xx
Ah OK, thanks. Used tens etc before, not during sex though. I'm sure I still habe mine from my kids, might have to look it out and give it a go
Nattering is my speciality, got to have humour x"
You can have some right laughs even when playing hehehe.
Yep tens can be very much a fun thing but make sure you don't cross the heart.
Fun has to be something enjoyable and humour for me shows enjoyment  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I really think you have the answers in your own OP. I get that sometimes it is preferable to think the problem is complicated, that it is complex. But sometimes the problem, and the solution, is simple. Lots of guys. Less women and couples.
*Shrugs*
-Courtney"
I know I do that when I write I start asking a question and answer it by the end of it but thought it would build to be an interesting convo topic as well hehe |
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The best way I've found to survive on here as a single guy is to just go with the flow. Let it all wash over you. Don't get too hung up on being ignored or being disappointed. It's inevitable that a lot of your messages will go unread or your profile may not be looked at for days on end. That's just how it is. It is essentially a bit shitty being a single guy on here if you sit there analysing it too much. Just stop trying so hard or overthinking it.
Build up a rapport with a few women. Network. Socialise. Don't put all the emphasis on the sex. It's all working out great for me at the minute since I chilled out about it all. Good luck OP. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The best way I've found to survive on here as a single guy is to just go with the flow. Let it all wash over you. Don't get too hung up on being ignored or being disappointed. It's inevitable that a lot of your messages will go unread or your profile may not be looked at for days on end. That's just how it is. It is essentially a bit shitty being a single guy on here if you sit there analysing it too much. Just stop trying so hard or overthinking it.
Build up a rapport with a few women. Network. Socialise. Don't put all the emphasis on the sex. It's all working out great for me at the minute since I chilled out about it all. Good luck OP."
Great response and so much good advice. I think location is important as well to what people's tastes are. North west seem to be more adverse to alternative than the south ect.
It's amazing to see the insight if others though I'm loving the input  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Polite works for me, i do explain on my profile that i do not reply to everyone who messages me. Formal can be too polite for me but it's lovely that guys approach me that way also. Respectful and not being left feeling used is my main requirement.
I'd consider myself somewhat alternative, a combination of punk, hippy, and whatever else i like. Doesn't mean i'm gonna fancy or get on with every guy who looks similar to me, in fact most of them i don't fancy. Most guys i meet are just mainstream looking, nothing particularly stands out about them, but i enjoy their company, they turn me on, we chat a bit on here and have a laugh or just talk about mundane stuff but we get on and they make me feel respected even if we are using each other for sex.
Some of these guys i didn't even reply to their first message to me, i wasn't meeting or too busy at the time but i didn't block them because i did fancy them. Idk what i'm saying here any more, just it is hard for guys on here to meet people, not everyone fancies the type of person that is 'them' although it's great when you click with someone who is. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Polite works for me, i do explain on my profile that i do not reply to everyone who messages me. Formal can be too polite for me but it's lovely that guys approach me that way also. Respectful and not being left feeling used is my main requirement.
I'd consider myself somewhat alternative, a combination of punk, hippy, and whatever else i like. Doesn't mean i'm gonna fancy or get on with every guy who looks similar to me, in fact most of them i don't fancy. Most guys i meet are just mainstream looking, nothing particularly stands out about them, but i enjoy their company, they turn me on, we chat a bit on here and have a laugh or just talk about mundane stuff but we get on and they make me feel respected even if we are using each other for sex.
Some of these guys i didn't even reply to their first message to me, i wasn't meeting or too busy at the time but i didn't block them because i did fancy them. Idk what i'm saying here any more, just it is hard for guys on here to meet people, not everyone fancies the type of person that is 'them' although it's great when you click with someone who is."
Well said there. It is difficult for guys and to be honest I think it is difficult for couples in some cases as well. I have a couples profile as well as a single profile as we do play together and apart. I think in all honesty you can get bogged down sometimes with messages and bad experiences that you can get a sour taste in your mouth. I know as a couple we have had that and it's kinda knocked us off track and now my other half is loosing interest in swinging through just bad vibes I guess.
The joys of attraction the fatal and the good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Polite works for me, i do explain on my profile that i do not reply to everyone who messages me. Formal can be too polite for me but it's lovely that guys approach me that way also. Respectful and not being left feeling used is my main requirement.
I'd consider myself somewhat alternative, a combination of punk, hippy, and whatever else i like. Doesn't mean i'm gonna fancy or get on with every guy who looks similar to me, in fact most of them i don't fancy. Most guys i meet are just mainstream looking, nothing particularly stands out about them, but i enjoy their company, they turn me on, we chat a bit on here and have a laugh or just talk about mundane stuff but we get on and they make me feel respected even if we are using each other for sex.
Some of these guys i didn't even reply to their first message to me, i wasn't meeting or too busy at the time but i didn't block them because i did fancy them. Idk what i'm saying here any more, just it is hard for guys on here to meet people, not everyone fancies the type of person that is 'them' although it's great when you click with someone who is.
Well said there. It is difficult for guys and to be honest I think it is difficult for couples in some cases as well. I have a couples profile as well as a single profile as we do play together and apart. I think in all honesty you can get bogged down sometimes with messages and bad experiences that you can get a sour taste in your mouth. I know as a couple we have had that and it's kinda knocked us off track and now my other half is loosing interest in swinging through just bad vibes I guess.
The joys of attraction the fatal and the good"
Can be difficult for women sometimes as well, but overall i think it's easier for us and agree with you on that.
You (in general, not you personally) need to tailor your profile to appeal to the people you want to meet really.
Not sure what you mean by bad experiences but i have noticed a lot of guys personally treat me like a fetish, those guys i don't even respond to. Just because i'm into fetish doesn't mean i am one. But yeah i've also taken breaks from meeting because i wasn't happy with how things were going on here. Nothing wrong with going with your feelings and taking breaks or even giving up altogether if this wasn't what you expected. I expected nothing lol.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Polite works for me, i do explain on my profile that i do not reply to everyone who messages me. Formal can be too polite for me but it's lovely that guys approach me that way also. Respectful and not being left feeling used is my main requirement.
I'd consider myself somewhat alternative, a combination of punk, hippy, and whatever else i like. Doesn't mean i'm gonna fancy or get on with every guy who looks similar to me, in fact most of them i don't fancy. Most guys i meet are just mainstream looking, nothing particularly stands out about them, but i enjoy their company, they turn me on, we chat a bit on here and have a laugh or just talk about mundane stuff but we get on and they make me feel respected even if we are using each other for sex.
Some of these guys i didn't even reply to their first message to me, i wasn't meeting or too busy at the time but i didn't block them because i did fancy them. Idk what i'm saying here any more, just it is hard for guys on here to meet people, not everyone fancies the type of person that is 'them' although it's great when you click with someone who is.
Well said there. It is difficult for guys and to be honest I think it is difficult for couples in some cases as well. I have a couples profile as well as a single profile as we do play together and apart. I think in all honesty you can get bogged down sometimes with messages and bad experiences that you can get a sour taste in your mouth. I know as a couple we have had that and it's kinda knocked us off track and now my other half is loosing interest in swinging through just bad vibes I guess.
The joys of attraction the fatal and the good
Can be difficult for women sometimes as well, but overall i think it's easier for us and agree with you on that.
You (in general, not you personally) need to tailor your profile to appeal to the people you want to meet really.
Not sure what you mean by bad experiences but i have noticed a lot of guys personally treat me like a fetish, those guys i don't even respond to. Just because i'm into fetish doesn't mean i am one. But yeah i've also taken breaks from meeting because i wasn't happy with how things were going on here. Nothing wrong with going with your feelings and taking breaks or even giving up altogether if this wasn't what you expected. I expected nothing lol.
"
I love swinging, it's not an issue its more finding the ideology of others this xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is certainly getting harder to get noticed, as a single male on here. My profile is rarely viewed and my messages are rarely read - so it isn't about profile, or message, content, age, or physical appearance.
I only message people I would genuinely like to meet. I could open that up to a wider group - but what's the point? I also have no desire to attend clubs/socials on my own.
So, if you're a single male, you just have to keep hoping that you will get a reply from someone you want to hear from. When you do, it's great! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its an interesting post and I am enjoying reading the replies all of which are very good advice and worth ingesting, for me I normally keep an eye out to see what my competition is so do a search for other blokes in your area, read their profiles and verifications to see who they've met.
I know there are no guarantees on here but chill relax and keep enjoying the site and forums and who knows what might happen. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm not that up for swinging tbh, just here to fuck guys i find fuckable. Need more 3sums though definitely.  "
You can't say better than that hehe nom nom nom |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You seem an ok guy, what's yours Will come to you when it's due
You've got to love a statement that says nothing ... should be in a fortune cookie that one. "
It just reminded me of the offspring song "You're gona go far kid" but I felt the sentiment hahaha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You stand out from the norm get yourself out there and I think you will do well on here! "
I think it's logistics and I need to be out there outside of Liverpool lmao xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The best way I've found to survive on here as a single guy is to just go with the flow. Let it all wash over you. Don't get too hung up on being ignored or being disappointed. It's inevitable that a lot of your messages will go unread or your profile may not be looked at for days on end. That's just how it is. It is essentially a bit shitty being a single guy on here if you sit there analysing it too much. Just stop trying so hard or overthinking it.
Build up a rapport with a few women. Network. Socialise. Don't put all the emphasis on the sex. It's all working out great for me at the minute since I chilled out about it all. Good luck OP."
Great advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm sat here wondering about swinging and what it means to me. The fun I have had and the fun I can have with it.
Now I am an alternative male, I have piercings, I have postbox red hair and tattoos. I am a size 34 chest and a 30 waist (at a push).
This is and has always been me in life. Alternative, different and enthusiastic.
Now I am a talker, I can talk about the rain, the Internet or just how much I get annoyed about how people slate the new Doctor Who season.
But of late I am noticing a feeling of dismay as I look at my fab and realise I don't have many messages looks or even a cheeky wink.
Now us males we are a majority in this site, we outnumber women and couples 20 to 1 without a blink.
Though you read the profile, you comply with the wishes and because of the overwhelming soup that is the inbox of women and couples you either et ignored for being polite or don't stand out enough. But then how forward is to forward?
Swinging, dating whatever you want it as is a vast minefield of rejection and pondering.
Ladies, you rule the swing scene be it part of a couple or on your own. What do we are your humble entertainers need to do?
Just thought I would spark a discussion anyway lmao.
P.s this was not a pity me post lol"
in my book calling a spade a spade is frowned upon here if you don't massage women's egos you will get nowhere so give em what they want even if they have a fat arse ,make a woman laugh and they will wrap their knickers round your head ,I should charge for this advice oh and red hair really !!!!!      |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm sat here wondering about swinging and what it means to me. The fun I have had and the fun I can have with it.
Now I am an alternative male, I have piercings, I have postbox red hair and tattoos. I am a size 34 chest and a 30 waist (at a push).
This is and has always been me in life. Alternative, different and enthusiastic.
Now I am a talker, I can talk about the rain, the Internet or just how much I get annoyed about how people slate the new Doctor Who season.
But of late I am noticing a feeling of dismay as I look at my fab and realise I don't have many messages looks or even a cheeky wink.
Now us males we are a majority in this site, we outnumber women and couples 20 to 1 without a blink.
Though you read the profile, you comply with the wishes and because of the overwhelming soup that is the inbox of women and couples you either et ignored for being polite or don't stand out enough. But then how forward is to forward?
Swinging, dating whatever you want it as is a vast minefield of rejection and pondering.
Ladies, you rule the swing scene be it part of a couple or on your own. What do we are your humble entertainers need to do?
Just thought I would spark a discussion anyway lmao.
P.s this was not a pity me post lol in my book calling a spade a spade is frowned upon here if you don't massage women's egos you will get nowhere so give em what they want even if they have a fat arse ,make a woman laugh and they will wrap their knickers round your head ,I should charge for this advice oh and red hair really !!!!! "
I would prefer people be honest with me, but in a nice way.
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So I'm sat here wondering about swinging and what it means to me. The fun I have had and the fun I can have with it.
Now I am an alternative male, I have piercings, I have postbox red hair and tattoos. I am a size 34 chest and a 30 waist (at a push).
This is and has always been me in life. Alternative, different and enthusiastic.
Now I am a talker, I can talk about the rain, the Internet or just how much I get annoyed about how people slate the new Doctor Who season.
But of late I am noticing a feeling of dismay as I look at my fab and realise I don't have many messages looks or even a cheeky wink.
Now us males we are a majority in this site, we outnumber women and couples 20 to 1 without a blink.
Though you read the profile, you comply with the wishes and because of the overwhelming soup that is the inbox of women and couples you either et ignored for being polite or don't stand out enough. But then how forward is to forward?
Swinging, dating whatever you want it as is a vast minefield of rejection and pondering.
Ladies, you rule the swing scene be it part of a couple or on your own. What do we are your humble entertainers need to do?
Just thought I would spark a discussion anyway lmao.
P.s this was not a pity me post lol in my book calling a spade a spade is frowned upon here if you don't massage women's egos you will get nowhere so give em what they want even if they have a fat arse ,make a woman laugh and they will wrap their knickers round your head ,I should charge for this advice oh and red hair really !!!!!
I would prefer people be honest with me, but in a nice way.
-Courtney"
Fwaaaaaaaa there is honesty hehe x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm sat here wondering about swinging and what it means to me. The fun I have had and the fun I can have with it.
Now I am an alternative male, I have piercings, I have postbox red hair and tattoos. I am a size 34 chest and a 30 waist (at a push).
This is and has always been me in life. Alternative, different and enthusiastic.
Now I am a talker, I can talk about the rain, the Internet or just how much I get annoyed about how people slate the new Doctor Who season.
But of late I am noticing a feeling of dismay as I look at my fab and realise I don't have many messages looks or even a cheeky wink.
Now us males we are a majority in this site, we outnumber women and couples 20 to 1 without a blink.
Though you read the profile, you comply with the wishes and because of the overwhelming soup that is the inbox of women and couples you either et ignored for being polite or don't stand out enough. But then how forward is to forward?
Swinging, dating whatever you want it as is a vast minefield of rejection and pondering.
Ladies, you rule the swing scene be it part of a couple or on your own. What do we are your humble entertainers need to do?
Just thought I would spark a discussion anyway lmao.
P.s this was not a pity me post lol in my book calling a spade a spade is frowned upon here if you don't massage women's egos you will get nowhere so give em what they want even if they have a fat arse ,make a woman laugh and they will wrap their knickers round your head ,I should charge for this advice oh and red hair really !!!!! "
I absolutely prefer honesty. And the red hair is hot! So there! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So I'm sat here wondering about swinging and what it means to me. The fun I have had and the fun I can have with it.
Now I am an alternative male, I have piercings, I have postbox red hair and tattoos. I am a size 34 chest and a 30 waist (at a push).
This is and has always been me in life. Alternative, different and enthusiastic.
Now I am a talker, I can talk about the rain, the Internet or just how much I get annoyed about how people slate the new Doctor Who season.
But of late I am noticing a feeling of dismay as I look at my fab and realise I don't have many messages looks or even a cheeky wink.
Now us males we are a majority in this site, we outnumber women and couples 20 to 1 without a blink.
Though you read the profile, you comply with the wishes and because of the overwhelming soup that is the inbox of women and couples you either et ignored for being polite or don't stand out enough. But then how forward is to forward?
Swinging, dating whatever you want it as is a vast minefield of rejection and pondering.
Ladies, you rule the swing scene be it part of a couple or on your own. What do we are your humble entertainers need to do?
Just thought I would spark a discussion anyway lmao.
P.s this was not a pity me post lol in my book calling a spade a spade is frowned upon here if you don't massage women's egos you will get nowhere so give em what they want even if they have a fat arse ,make a woman laugh and they will wrap their knickers round your head ,I should charge for this advice oh and red hair really !!!!!
I absolutely prefer honesty. And the red hair is hot! So there!"
North Yorkshire is not to far |
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