FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Do you care what people think?
Do you care what people think?
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Aimed mainly at couples.
Has anyone had any experience with vanilla friends finding out that you have this 'lifestyle' and had an unsavoury opinion on it mainly because I assume they have no understanding of it whatsoever!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In all honesty, I don't much care what my friends and family would think. I've even told one of my close friends.
I, and Marc, DO care what our colleagues at work would think. And hence the secrecy.
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We could not care less  most of our friends know what we do and although they have said that they would never do it, they weren't surprised or disgusted that we do! Guess we're just naughty! We aren't harming anyone so they don't see a problem, also some of them do seem a little bit jealous lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't really care. My bff knows about it and she is totally vanilla, as long as I am safe thats all she cares about. People will always have opinions on others lives, I just think as long.as everyone is consenting whats the issue. |
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I have told my bff but she is amazing! Open minded and very interested to hear about things... She is the only one of my friends but recently my hubbys group of close friends accidently found out! I've always got on very well with them all and they have always been really happy for me and my hubby as we are so happy together but now I feel they have a totally different view on me they think I'm just a dirty slut! In general I don't care at all because we are happier and more content than I could have ever thought possible and I don't believe anyone should express an opinion if they don't understand something and it shouldn't even matter to them anyway! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly we don't care not worried if friends etc know.
Work for Stefe is a different matter so we like to keep face pic's in private.
For us it's not something we are ashamed or embarrassed over. If a friend asked us about it would have no problem talking to them although not it to much detail |
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"Honestly we don't care not worried if friends etc know.
Work for Stefe is a different matter so we like to keep face pic's in private.
For us it's not something we are ashamed or embarrassed over. If a friend asked us about it would have no problem talking to them although not it to much detail "
That's exactly how we feel!
If anyone asked us we would be very open and honest about it but unfortunately not everyone is brave enough to ask, they would rather talk about it amongst themselves x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really don't care what other people think. Most of my friends and family know (my brother fell out with me for 4 months as he disapproved so strongly).
However, I do excercise some caution as I'd be mortified if my children ever suffered bullying as a consequence of my chosen 'hobby'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't really care, but all our mutual friends we hang out with have bad sex, no sex or very limited experience of sex so we keep these things away from them to avoid upset or misunderstangings. One friend of ours know R used to do this years ago but keep trying to "trick" him up into confessing things, which doesn't leave us with a wish to disclose anything. If anyone wanted to talk about the scene in an open and honest way, then we would have no issue sharing, but we don't see a reason to in the current atmosphere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would care
I wouldnt want anybody to think any less of me because they knew I was on here, because I'm still the same person as they knew yesterday, and to think somebody would change their opinion of me as a person because of who I have consenting sex with would bother me yes
I'm suprised at people who say they don't give a shit, i often wonder if they are just putting a hard face on, I value my friend and if I found out they didn't feel the same I would be hurt |
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"I would care
I wouldnt want anybody to think any less of me because they knew I was on here, because I'm still the same person as they knew yesterday, and to think somebody would change their opinion of me as a person because of who I have consenting sex with would bother me yes
I think if that was the case then I think that's their issue not yours x
I'm suprised at people who say they don't give a shit, i often wonder if they are just putting a hard face on, I value my friend and if I found out they didn't feel the same I would be hurt "
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"I would care
I wouldnt want anybody to think any less of me because they knew I was on here, because I'm still the same person as they knew yesterday, and to think somebody would change their opinion of me as a person because of who I have consenting sex with would bother me yes
I do think it's slightly different for couples but if you are happy and content in yourself then I think the not giving a shit is more than understandable. Surely if someone has a problem with something that you enjoy and you aren't harming anyone or breaking any laws then it's their issue not yours! And if they are your true friend they would except whatever it is that made you happy? X
I think if that was the case then I think that's their issue not yours x
I'm suprised at people who say they don't give a shit, i often wonder if they are just putting a hard face on, I value my friend and if I found out they didn't feel the same I would be hurt "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not affected by what others think of me but, I do care about how others view my wife. Most people can't or just don't understand how this lifestyle works & their tiny minds would make them view her as easy. Guys think that because we swing, they're guaranteed a fuck & use vile comments like " im gonna ruin you" or "fill your slut mouth with my cum"!
Idiots, pure & simple. 99% of the guys wouldn't get near her because they are not swingers. No understanding, no respect for her(or me) & no chance in hell.
Sorry for that lil rant there!
We keep our lifestyle to ourselves.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am able to be close friends with the people I have chosen for that role because I can trust them not to judge. There are a few people I come into contact with who would probably be a little horrified but they're not my true friends, they're acquaintances. |
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"I'm not affected by what others think of me but, I do care about how others view my wife. Most people can't or just don't understand how this lifestyle works & their tiny minds would make them view her as easy. Guys think that because we swing, they're guaranteed a fuck & use vile comments like " im gonna ruin you" or "fill your slut mouth with my cum"!
Idiots, pure & simple. 99% of the guys wouldn't get near her because they are not swingers. No understanding, no respect for her(or me) & no chance in hell.
Sorry for that lil rant there!
We keep our lifestyle to ourselves. "
No worries at all I asked and I'm glad you answered so thankyou! I completely understand where you are coming from! These are all concerns that are raised and in all honesty this is our only issue, that should some people know and not have any understanding I will just be viewed as a slut! X |
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"I am able to be close friends with the people I have chosen for that role because I can trust them not to judge. There are a few people I come into contact with who would probably be a little horrified but they're not my true friends, they're acquaintances."
Spot on!
Just a little harder when it's your husbands friends of many years that although wouldn't be hard for me to lose and filter out but hard to watch him lose x |
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I lost my best friend when I told her I'd had sex with a woman. That was back in my mid 20's.
I'm fairly honest and everyone who knows me, with the exception of my parents, knows my sexuality and that I'm not particularly conventional. Some know the ins and outs, some don't. None of them have an issue with me because of my choices. There are many who think I'm bonkers and there are some who totally don't get my lifestyle choices but they're my friends because they love me. What I choose to do with my personal life doesn't define me.
If people I meet do have issues with my choices then they aren't the right people for me. I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm not judging their life choices, we're all different. I'm a good person. I like myself. If someone chooses not to like me because of their own hang ups, I've lost absolutely nothing.  |
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Although I'm not a couple any more, my bestest female friends know and are totally intrigued by it. Two of them even joined
My sister knows and she says she couldn't do it but has no problem with me doing it |
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Got outed by someone at work who with there partner was sat in the local club carpark building up courage to go in. When we walked past them straight into the club. Said they couldn't go in once they'd seen us. We've chatted about it since and they been when they knew we wouldn't be there. |
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