FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Because I didnt hear from you.....
Because I didnt hear from you.....
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A few of my meets have not happened in recent times and the excuse is mostly something like the above.
I made other plans because I did not hear from you. Is this a exclusively a man's responsibility? If you booked a service (at a garage) and brought your car on the day, could they turn round and say, 'well, since you did not call yesterday, we made other plans''?
How long is 'too long''? In my view, a day or two of not hearing from a prospective meet should be ok. Am I wrong?  |
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If I had arranged a meet with someone i'd been chatting with i'd expect the chatting to continue up til the meet. And if it didn't (ie they didn't reply to my last message) i'd probably assume they were a timewaster.
And that's based on past experiences.
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By *ivnwcplCouple
over a year ago
liverpool |
"A few of my meets have not happened in recent times and the excuse is mostly something like the above.
I made other plans because I did not hear from you. Is this a exclusively a man's responsibility? If you booked a service (at a garage) and brought your car on the day, could they turn round and say, 'well, since you did not call yesterday, we made other plans''?
How long is 'too long''? In my view, a day or two of not hearing from a prospective meet should be ok. Am I wrong? "
Yep in my opinion you are wrong, if we hadn't heard from a meet in 2 days we would assume it was not going to happen, we always confirm on the day and expect the meet to also do this, and we always ring before we leave, if they wont answer then we wont turn up  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is both peoples responsibility
I'm don't mean constant contact but if it all goes quiet then for me something isn't right,I'll want to speak on the day to make sure it's still on,I'll never assume that it is until then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the messages had dried up a couple of days before the meet no, I would presume they had lost interest.
If we had still been messaging up to the day of the meet yes, I would message to say I was still able to meet and that they were too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bothe to confirm! So that means you try to confirm 'if you don't hear anything'  "
Well one person has to be adult enough to confirm the arrangement on the day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I leave a conversation with me having the last word I expect him to message me back. If we arrange to meet and the conversation doesn't carry on I would rather not meet. If we aren't interested enough to message each other it's not worth it. If a man chats a lot and suddenly goes quiet I won't pester him,I'll leave him to it. I've had men be very enthusiastic for the first day or two but then go silent. Maybe because I don't talk sex or send pics but they cool down quick so I assume they aren't interested any more. I'm not chasing someone who contacted me to meet. He either wants me or doesn't. |
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I'd expect to confirm the night before and on the day as real life things can crop up but I wouldn't cancel because we hadn't chatted much for 2 days. If they didn't reply the night before (chance 1) or the day of the meet (change 2), I wouldn't bother going. |
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If I've made an arrangement then I'll be there. There's nothing wrong with a courtesy message but it's not necessary, unless of course we've arranged to confirm.
I don't however make arrangements too far in advance, a couple of days at the most.
First meets for me are always at a busy coffee shop so if someone trots out "well I didn't hear from you" despite the plans having been made less than 24 hours before I'm not too bothered. But they don't get a second chance... |
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"It is both peoples responsibility
I'm don't mean constant contact but if it all goes quiet then for me something isn't right,I'll want to speak on the day to make sure it's still on,I'll never assume that it is until then"
You see, unlike you, some people wait for it to fall in their laps rather than look for what they want.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is both peoples responsibility
I'm don't mean constant contact but if it all goes quiet then for me something isn't right,I'll want to speak on the day to make sure it's still on,I'll never assume that it is until then
You see, unlike you, some people wait for it to fall in their laps rather than look for what they want. "
Haha 10/10 for reading my profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A few of my meets have not happened in recent times and the excuse is mostly something like the above.
I made other plans because I did not hear from you. Is this a exclusively a man's responsibility? If you booked a service (at a garage) and brought your car on the day, could they turn round and say, 'well, since you did not call yesterday, we made other plans''?
How long is 'too long''? In my view, a day or two of not hearing from a prospective meet should be ok. Am I wrong? "
Others above have said it perfectly really so not much more I can add, but it's not clear from your post when your last contact is / was ..
Eg do you message a week away, agree to meet next Friday at 8pm, then just expect to turn up at the venue at 8pm and expect them to be there without any further contact in the meantime? Is that really realistic? |
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I'm not into lots of online chat with someone I haven't yet met. So if the chat stopped after making a plan to meet that's fine by me - I get annoyed with people who start trying to sex chat after we've arranged a meet as I only do that with people I've already had sex with!
Seems I'm in a minority. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A few of my meets have not happened in recent times and the excuse is mostly something like the above.
I made other plans because I did not hear from you. Is this a exclusively a man's responsibility? If you booked a service (at a garage) and brought your car on the day, could they turn round and say, 'well, since you did not call yesterday, we made other plans''?
How long is 'too long''? In my view, a day or two of not hearing from a prospective meet should be ok. Am I wrong?
Others above have said it perfectly really so not much more I can add, but it's not clear from your post when your last contact is / was ..
Eg do you message a week away, agree to meet next Friday at 8pm, then just expect to turn up at the venue at 8pm and expect them to be there without any further contact in the meantime? Is that really realistic? "
It's not realistic for me X I wouldn't turn up if I didn't hear anything on the day of the meet X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met a new guy a couples of weeks ago and we had been chatting all that week,yet I still checked on the day that he was still ok to meet
That night while we were having a drink he asked why I did that,his response was "there was no way I wasn't going to turn up" but I still needed that confirmation |
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As per previous posts, incessant contact is not needed (ie multiple messages) but certainly daily contact up to the meet. We have something "arranged" early next week and the guy is providing accommodation and has now not replied to any messages in 3 days despite being on here every day, so chances are he won't turn up next week. I guess "mutual reassurance" is the point of messaging regularly. |
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"A few of my meets have not happened in recent times and the excuse is mostly something like the above.
I made other plans because I did not hear from you. Is this a exclusively a man's responsibility? If you booked a service (at a garage) and brought your car on the day, could they turn round and say, 'well, since you did not call yesterday, we made other plans''?
How long is 'too long''? In my view, a day or two of not hearing from a prospective meet should be ok. Am I wrong?
Others above have said it perfectly really so not much more I can add, but it's not clear from your post when your last contact is / was ..
Eg do you message a week away, agree to meet next Friday at 8pm, then just expect to turn up at the venue at 8pm and expect them to be there without any further contact in the meantime? Is that really realistic? "
Well, I like your thinking. One week advance booking and then turning up without a word is ridiculous. I am talking of a day or 2 in the interim. Then you try to confirm. And then you get told......
Sounds like some people don't want to make the effort. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not into lots of online chat with someone I haven't yet met. So if the chat stopped after making a plan to meet that's fine by me - I get annoyed with people who start trying to sex chat after we've arranged a meet as I only do that with people I've already had sex with!
Seems I'm in a minority."
Keeping in contact doesn't mean sex chat,because that bores the tit's off me too and I won't do it with people I've not met either
I can chat about anything |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A few of my meets have not happened in recent times and the excuse is mostly something like the above.
I made other plans because I did not hear from you. Is this a exclusively a man's responsibility? If you booked a service (at a garage) and brought your car on the day, could they turn round and say, 'well, since you did not call yesterday, we made other plans''?
How long is 'too long''? In my view, a day or two of not hearing from a prospective meet should be ok. Am I wrong?
Others above have said it perfectly really so not much more I can add, but it's not clear from your post when your last contact is / was ..
Eg do you message a week away, agree to meet next Friday at 8pm, then just expect to turn up at the venue at 8pm and expect them to be there without any further contact in the meantime? Is that really realistic?
Well, I like your thinking. One week advance booking and then turning up without a word is ridiculous. I am talking of a day or 2 in the interim. Then you try to confirm. And then you get told......
Sounds like some people don't want to make the effort."
Ah ok, that does sound a little bit harsh then - I agree.
I guess it depends on the nature of the last message they shared with you - if it warrants a response and you didn't then I guess they might think you're not interested.
Perhaps sign off with a 'great looking forwards to it, I will contact you in a few days to confirm' type message so there's no ambiguity!? Good luck fella! |
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I enjoy the flirting by email, it builds a rapport. Confirming before I leave home makes sense.
Though I did lose one meet, because she expected a phone call before meeting. Never mentioned that on her profile or in a dozen emails, but I should have known.
Personally I don't ask for numbers or pictures (grateful when sent though) but if I have to jump through hoops to meet, at least tell me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would think it strange if conversation went quiet before a meet as i wouldn't arrange a meet with someone i wasn't in fairly regular contact with. I will normally send a message the day before to check we are still on. I find it odd that if people don't hear anything they don't bother to message the person they have arranged to meet. |
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"I enjoy the flirting by email, it builds a rapport. Confirming before I leave home makes sense.
Though I did lose one meet, because she expected a phone call before meeting. Never mentioned that on her profile or in a dozen emails, but I should have known.
Personally I don't ask for numbers or pictures (grateful when sent though) but if I have to jump through hoops to meet, at least tell me.
"
The hoops get tinier and tinier over the years.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A few of my meets have not happened in recent times and the excuse is mostly something like the above.
I made other plans because I did not hear from you. Is this a exclusively a man's responsibility? If you booked a service (at a garage) and brought your car on the day, could they turn round and say, 'well, since you did not call yesterday, we made other plans''?
How long is 'too long''? In my view, a day or two of not hearing from a prospective meet should be ok. Am I wrong?
Others above have said it perfectly really so not much more I can add, but it's not clear from your post when your last contact is / was ..
Eg do you message a week away, agree to meet next Friday at 8pm, then just expect to turn up at the venue at 8pm and expect them to be there without any further contact in the meantime? "
Experience has shown you can't do that, as no contact in between usually means the other person has bottled it.
I'm not bothered about constant contact before each meet, but I would expect/send a message the day before. If that didn't happen or was ignored I'd then send a last message on the day saying if I didn't hear from the person I assume they weren't coming.
I always take 'going silent' and suddenly not being on fab in the run up to the meet, as a warning the guy may not being turning up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you are really into each other and both excited about meeting you can't help but text each other every day, or do a count down on your status line, have chats on the phone, it all builds up the tension and puts a cheeky grin on your face if it goes quiet then I know he is a fickle git and found someone else! lol |
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"I'd expect to confirm the night before and on the day as real life things can crop up but I wouldn't cancel because we hadn't chatted much for 2 days. If they didn't reply the night before (chance 1) or the day of the meet (change 2), I wouldn't bother going. "
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"I'm not into lots of online chat with someone I haven't yet met. So if the chat stopped after making a plan to meet that's fine by me - I get annoyed with people who start trying to sex chat after we've arranged a meet as I only do that with people I've already had sex with!
Seems I'm in a minority.
Keeping in contact doesn't mean sex chat,because that bores the tit's off me too and I won't do it with people I've not met either
I can chat about anything "
I can chat about anything to people I know but if they're still just a profile off the Internet then I run out if steam. I make it clear I like an early meet if I think I'm interested and that I'm not into lots of online chat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep, had that. One guy I arranged a social with a week or so in advance. I text a few days before asking if he was still ok to meet, oh yes he said, looking forward to it. Cool I said, I'll text you the morning of the meet to confirm, yep, fine with than he said. Text him that morning as arranged and was told because he hadn't heard from me he'd made other plans!!! Yeah ok, bye. No great problem though, at least I never travelled or wasted any time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always do a social first, and yes I'd expect one of us to confirm on the day. I'd find it unusual if everything went completely quiet for 2 days beforehand.
I guess if it's a repeat meet that can be slightly different as you wouldn't expect a no show, but I'd still confirm on the day. Only because our free time is limited and we want to make the most of the time we have.
Sarah |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men on fabs do need to get this in general - yes, I need someone to stay in touch, lack of communication feels like lack of interest and nothing turns me off quicker.
"
This may be what works for you, but how can men be expected to know what is right for every woman on fab? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you are really into each other and both excited about meeting you can't help but text each other every day, or do a count down on your status line, have chats on the phone, it all builds up the tension and puts a cheeky grin on your face if it goes quiet then I know he is a fickle git and found someone else! lol"
Well that is exactly how I think. My last meet went hot and cold the week before and then silent 2 days before. I message to ask what's going on and I'm bailed on cos apparently it's not the done thing to message everyday (even tho that had been the case). Some weird fuckers on here! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you are really into each other and both excited about meeting you can't help but text each other every day, or do a count down on your status line, have chats on the phone, it all builds up the tension and puts a cheeky grin on your face if it goes quiet then I know he is a fickle git and found someone else! lol
Well that is exactly how I think. My last meet went hot and cold the week before and then silent 2 days before. I message to ask what's going on and I'm bailed on cos apparently it's not the done thing to message everyday (even tho that had been the case). Some weird fuckers on here!"
I guess we're all different. I don't want people to text me every day. I just want the meet planned then a confirmation of it the day before or on the day. |
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I personally love the excitement and build up to a meet- I don't want cold clinical sex, I want us to want to rip each other's clothes off! So the rapport has to be continued to be built on for me. Which means if the other person goes quiet, or even if the conversational flow dries up, I will cancel. I need to be mentally stimulated before any action takes place. I'm not here to have sex with people for the sake of it. I could go into a bar in town and get a shag if that's what I wanted! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's annoying when the conversation starts off great,and flows. Then you don't hear except for a late night message saying they are horny. I don't give a fig. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I leave a conversation with me having the last word I expect him to message me back. If we arrange to meet and the conversation doesn't carry on I would rather not meet. If we aren't interested enough to message each other it's not worth it. If a man chats a lot and suddenly goes quiet I won't pester him,I'll leave him to it. I've had men be very enthusiastic for the first day or two but then go silent. Maybe because I don't talk sex or send pics but they cool down quick so I assume they aren't interested any more. I'm not chasing someone who contacted me to meet. He either wants me or doesn't. "
same here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men on fabs do need to get this in general - yes, I need someone to stay in touch, lack of communication feels like lack of interest and nothing turns me off quicker.
This may be what works for you, but how can men be expected to know what is right for every woman on fab?"
They can't, but I'd expect them to go with the flow of the conversation - i.e. if someone is chatty and sending regular messages then to do the same and not just stop suddenly. If someone just wants to agree a time and date and that's it, then I'd imagine their lack of reply to one or two chatty messages should make that clear too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Loads of guys on here are willing to chat pretty much every day to you. I'd rather meet one of them than someone who never chats and would probably give up a pre-planned meet for one of these guys if the only time i could meet them was when i'd already arranged a meet.
I don't pre-plan meets anyway, apart from with guys i chat to all the time because we're not free to meet up at the same times. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's annoying when the conversation starts off great,and flows. Then you don't hear except for a late night message saying they are horny. I don't give a fig."
I just tell them to have a wank
After that I have pretty much lost interest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men on fabs do need to get this in general - yes, I need someone to stay in touch, lack of communication feels like lack of interest and nothing turns me off quicker.
This may be what works for you, but how can men be expected to know what is right for every woman on fab?
They can't, but I'd expect them to go with the flow of the conversation - i.e. if someone is chatty and sending regular messages then to do the same and not just stop suddenly. If someone just wants to agree a time and date and that's it, then I'd imagine their lack of reply to one or two chatty messages should make that clear too. "
Great but you're not the one that said "Men on fabs do need to get this in general...." that's what i was querying... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For an 'adult' site there's a hell of a lot of people that play dumb games. 
If someone doesn't reply to my last message I'll mail again to see if they are still interested. They might be busy with real life stuff.
If they want a type of chat or meet that I'm not interested in I let them know that we're not compatible. No angst. Same if they change their mind.
I mail as much as I feel comfortable with. I check before a meet that we are both still interested. I don't wait for them to 'court' me because I'm a female.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men on fabs do need to get this in general - yes, I need someone to stay in touch, lack of communication feels like lack of interest and nothing turns me off quicker.
This may be what works for you, but how can men be expected to know what is right for every woman on fab?
They can't, but I'd expect them to go with the flow of the conversation - i.e. if someone is chatty and sending regular messages then to do the same and not just stop suddenly. If someone just wants to agree a time and date and that's it, then I'd imagine their lack of reply to one or two chatty messages should make that clear too.
Great but you're not the one that said "Men on fabs do need to get this in general...." that's what i was querying..."
Ah, gotcha. Disregard previous post  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For an 'adult' site there's a hell of a lot of people that play dumb games.
If someone doesn't reply to my last message I'll mail again to see if they are still interested. They might be busy with real life stuff.
If they want a type of chat or meet that I'm not interested in I let them know that we're not compatible. No angst. Same if they change their mind.
I mail as much as I feel comfortable with. I check before a meet that we are both still interested. I don't wait for them to 'court' me because I'm a female. "
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I made arrangements for a meet this monday. We were talking every day until the day before the meet. I messaged and text her to see if they were still wanting the meet. I heard nothing by 10pm Sunday night so I made other arrangements for Monday. The said person who I originally had made the arrangement s with blocked me Sunday night and hasn't been heard of since. Always good to stay in touch and confirm plans right up to the meet because people get cold feet or nervous and sometimes a reassuring message might be all that's needed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a man really really really wants to fuck me he will not stop talking to me. They don't have to chase,just a good morning text will do. I rarely bother now,learned from experience if a man is really interested he won't stop messaging. If I'm really interested I won't either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a man really really really wants to fuck me he will not stop talking to me. They don't have to chase,just a good morning text will do. I rarely bother now,learned from experience if a man is really interested he won't stop messaging. If I'm really interested I won't either. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always think its pretty lame when someone says this, like they're putting the blame on you for the meet not going ahead. It takes two obviously but as others have said, if a guy is really up for it he will stay in contact. I used to give guys I was keen on meeting my phone number and say text me, invariably I wouldn't hear anything which considering they made first contact would suggest they weren't really up for it but I'd message a couple of times then leave the ball in their court. If they want to meet they'll get back to me, I'm not chasing anyone, life really is too short! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always think its pretty lame when someone says this, like they're putting the blame on you for the meet not going ahead. It takes two obviously but as others have said, if a guy is really up for it he will stay in contact. I used to give guys I was keen on meeting my phone number and say text me, invariably I wouldn't hear anything which considering they made first contact would suggest they weren't really up for it but I'd message a couple of times then leave the ball in their court. If they want to meet they'll get back to me, I'm not chasing anyone, life really is too short!"
Absolutely, it's nothing to do with needing to be 'courted' or ego massaged. It's just giving myself the certainty they actually want to meet. |
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"Men on fabs do need to get this in general - yes, I need someone to stay in touch, lack of communication feels like lack of interest and nothing turns me off quicker.
This may be what works for you, but how can men be expected to know what is right for every woman on fab?"
Well, if they have not applied logic or found out by trial and error, this thread will demonstrate that it is precisely what the vast majority DO want!! As someone said, when men are really interested they mostly do keep texting.
I for one make it clear on my profile that is what is required! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you are really into each other and both excited about meeting you can't help but text each other every day, or do a count down on your status line, have chats on the phone, it all builds up the tension and puts a cheeky grin on your face if it goes quiet then I know he is a fickle git and found someone else! lol"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bloody hell I go ages without talking when I've arranged a meet, you just run out of things to say if you talk everyday
I would only make other plans if I mailed them and got no reply, if they ignored my messages I'd assum they were no longer interested, if we just had no contact for a few days that's fine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you are really into each other and both excited about meeting you can't help but text each other every day, or do a count down on your status line, have chats on the phone, it all builds up the tension and puts a cheeky grin on your face if it goes quiet then I know he is a fickle git and found someone else! lol"
Really?
I have arrange meets with a few guys I've really liked and been looking forwards to meet but I would never text somebody every day, that don't mean I have lost interest it just mean the meets been arranged now we have to wait for the date, I'm not saying I wouldnt want any contact at all between the meet being arranged and taking place but I think I would get annoyed if they text me every day, I get bored really easy playing text tennis and this behaviour is more likely to put me off meeting them than anything |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you are really into each other and both excited about meeting you can't help but text each other every day, or do a count down on your status line, have chats on the phone, it all builds up the tension and puts a cheeky grin on your face if it goes quiet then I know he is a fickle git and found someone else! lol
Really?
I have arrange meets with a few guys I've really liked and been looking forwards to meet but I would never text somebody every day, that don't mean I have lost interest it just mean the meets been arranged now we have to wait for the date, I'm not saying I wouldnt want any contact at all between the meet being arranged and taking place but I think I would get annoyed if they text me every day, I get bored really easy playing text tennis and this behaviour is more likely to put me off meeting them than anything"
Each to their own obviously some people enjoy the build up more than others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you are really into each other and both excited about meeting you can't help but text each other every day, or do a count down on your status line, have chats on the phone, it all builds up the tension and puts a cheeky grin on your face if it goes quiet then I know he is a fickle git and found someone else! lol
Really?
I have arrange meets with a few guys I've really liked and been looking forwards to meet but I would never text somebody every day, that don't mean I have lost interest it just mean the meets been arranged now we have to wait for the date, I'm not saying I wouldnt want any contact at all between the meet being arranged and taking place but I think I would get annoyed if they text me every day, I get bored really easy playing text tennis and this behaviour is more likely to put me off meeting them than anything
Each to their own obviously some people enjoy the build up more than others "
What if your meet was arranged like a month in advance? Would people really want to text somebody every single day for four weeks? Jesus I don't text my kids that much |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Just to throw in another point of view and so confuse people even more, I would not expect daily contact with a prospective meet. I have a date planned for next Wednesday and I think the last time we swapped messages was at the weekend. However, the day before any meet I will text or message to check if its still on, and then the morning of the meet. If I don't get a reply the meet is off in my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you are really into each other and both excited about meeting you can't help but text each other every day, or do a count down on your status line, have chats on the phone, it all builds up the tension and puts a cheeky grin on your face if it goes quiet then I know he is a fickle git and found someone else! lol
Really?
I have arrange meets with a few guys I've really liked and been looking forwards to meet but I would never text somebody every day, that don't mean I have lost interest it just mean the meets been arranged now we have to wait for the date, I'm not saying I wouldnt want any contact at all between the meet being arranged and taking place but I think I would get annoyed if they text me every day, I get bored really easy playing text tennis and this behaviour is more likely to put me off meeting them than anything
Each to their own obviously some people enjoy the build up more than others
What if your meet was arranged like a month in advance? Would people really want to text somebody every single day for four weeks? Jesus I don't text my kids that much "
I don't get booked up that far ahead  |
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I have on a few occasions arranged to meet someone in a week's time as I was busy. I've found a few times that men have just disappeared, is it because they were just horny and wanted to meet there and then?
Oh well, their loss... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you are really into each other and both excited about meeting you can't help but text each other every day, or do a count down on your status line, have chats on the phone, it all builds up the tension and puts a cheeky grin on your face if it goes quiet then I know he is a fickle git and found someone else! lol
Really?
I have arrange meets with a few guys I've really liked and been looking forwards to meet but I would never text somebody every day, that don't mean I have lost interest it just mean the meets been arranged now we have to wait for the date, I'm not saying I wouldnt want any contact at all between the meet being arranged and taking place but I think I would get annoyed if they text me every day, I get bored really easy playing text tennis and this behaviour is more likely to put me off meeting them than anything
Each to their own obviously some people enjoy the build up more than others
What if your meet was arranged like a month in advance? Would people really want to text somebody every single day for four weeks? Jesus I don't text my kids that much "
Sometimes i have done....other times not so much....but i still can tell when it isn't going to happen. It isn't difficult. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A few of my meets have not happened in recent times and the excuse is mostly something like the above.
I made other plans because I did not hear from you. Is this a exclusively a man's responsibility? If you booked a service (at a garage) and brought your car on the day, could they turn round and say, 'well, since you did not call yesterday, we made other plans''?
How long is 'too long''? In my view, a day or two of not hearing from a prospective meet should be ok. Am I wrong? "
if you didn't keep in touch the day before the meet or the day of the meet, I would think the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A few of my meets have not happened in recent times and the excuse is mostly something like the above.
I made other plans because I did not hear from you. Is this a exclusively a man's responsibility? If you booked a service (at a garage) and brought your car on the day, could they turn round and say, 'well, since you did not call yesterday, we made other plans''?
How long is 'too long''? In my view, a day or two of not hearing from a prospective meet should be ok. Am I wrong? "
Are you wrong? Yes. A meet is not like booking a car in for a service. Or if it is for you, then you aren't the kind of person we would like to know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A few of my meets have not happened in recent times and the excuse is mostly something like the above.
I made other plans because I did not hear from you. Is this a exclusively a man's responsibility? If you booked a service (at a garage) and brought your car on the day, could they turn round and say, 'well, since you did not call yesterday, we made other plans''?
How long is 'too long''? In my view, a day or two of not hearing from a prospective meet should be ok. Am I wrong?
Are you wrong? Yes. A meet is not like booking a car in for a service. Or if it is for you, then you aren't the kind of person we would like to know. "
No one is wrong. Everyone has their ways of doing things and if it works for them then great. |
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I met a guy for a social and arranged to see him again. That day he canceled on me in the afternoon (then said he was coming, then canceled, then was coming, then finally canceled) so he could watch a rugby game on tv. We spoke the next day and then two days later he deleted me as I hadnt messaged him.
I dont need constant messaging but i do assume if plans have been made that its happening.
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"I would think it strange if conversation went quiet before a meet as i wouldn't arrange a meet with someone i wasn't in fairly regular contact with. I will normally send a message the day before to check we are still on. I find it odd that if people don't hear anything they don't bother to message the person they have arranged to meet."
My sentiments exactly. People let their egos get in the way of great fun sometimes and that never ceases to amaze me.
Life is short and some things are way too trivial to waste time on. Just pick up the phone and make contact. Quite ironic that in this day of easy communication, people find it difficult to do so and let their imaginations run riot! |
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"For an 'adult' site there's a hell of a lot of people that play dumb games.
If someone doesn't reply to my last message I'll mail again to see if they are still interested. They might be busy with real life stuff.
If they want a type of chat or meet that I'm not interested in I let them know that we're not compatible. No angst. Same if they change their mind.
I mail as much as I feel comfortable with. I check before a meet that we are both still interested. I don't wait for them to 'court' me because I'm a female. "
You couldn't have said it any better! It's all about feeling comfortable. To be honest, it goes both ways. If I message and I get back bland replies, then I won't be interested and amped about a possible meet, would I?
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