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Your biggest sexual mishap
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mrs having such a powerful orgasm (twas by me  ) that she tore a muscle inside.
Ended up at the docs as it caused her gyp and we had to lay off sex for a while for it to heal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Throwing up in my mouth during a blow job... 
Yes me too! "
Oh... wait... on a separate occasion the same man came in my mouth just as I threw up in my mouth  |
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I kicked out whilst orgasming once and put my head through the headboard and broke both the head board and my foot
I've also had a trip to the Drs for him to retrieve a condom that had fell off inside me and gone astray |
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By *annooWoman
over a year ago
Hastings |
Condom came off inside n the guy had to go in with his hand to find out
Condom burst mid thrust
Farting while fkn with multiple orgasms
Just after having anal tipping, ran to loo,just in time
Going into a room with a could n my partner at the tine and despite saying no to the guy going down on me he still did while I was in my period. He sucked me dry (eewww)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cum in the eye, very nearly throwing up when giving a bj, my first anal experience (he just shoved himself in - no lube - just major pain  accidently catching a cock with my teeth (oops) purposefully catching a cock with my teeth - ha  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Starting my period mid play with a total stranger in a club
He wasn't happy at all, I think it was his reaction that made if so bad rather than the fact it happened |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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First time meeting my mate's boyfriend I ended up having a d*unken quickie with his cousin in the en suite. Somehow slipped and broke his shower screen, and slashed my back open in the process. Was very obvious what we'd been up to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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An ex headbutted me in the face during and orgasm causing lots of blood/
I also have pretty weak knee muscles and whilst being a little ambitious postionwise had one dislocate, that sucked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It wasn't me but I was at a club one night and a guy who was playing on the bed fell off backwards and cut his head open, the club had to call an ambulance and they took him to hospital in his towel  |
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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago
Northampton |
Coughing while ex was down on me.. fanny farted so hard I nearly blasted the poor bloke off his knees (took me ages to try and say it wasnt a fart, I was laughing so hard).....
Another ex hated me playing with myself. One day I was playing with myself while he was at work (  ) but forgot I had a tampon in. Had to wait for him to come home, to dig it out. He wasn't impressed.....
*scratches head* I think I've got off pretty lightly so far.. lolol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After having a huge orgasm, I passed out (nerve pinched in my neck causing black-out) My husband thought I had died!
Came round and there were 2 paramedics strapping an oxygen mask on me! And I was still wearing my hussy outfit! Ohhh the shame!!
xx |
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Getting a hair bobble we'd used as an emergency cock ring stuck round a penis.
Kicking someone so hard in the bollocks with a high heel that he lost his erection for the whole session.
Throwing up on someone's cock twice when they tried to push their cock further in my mouth.
Having a guy cum in his pants then make an excuse and throw me out grabbing clothes as I went.
Bouncing so vigorously that the hotel mattress flipped trapping the guy between the bed and the wall.
VCH coming undone with someone's tongue action. Took 20 minutes for him to get the bugger back in.
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Staying at my girl friends now my wife years ago her parents were away tried to get her pissed got pissed my self the bed room was spinning sick every were did not take her cherry till the next day and yes that was without a drink |
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By *ackspopCouple
over a year ago
Wymondham |
Extremely D*unken rough sex with ex-wife mid period. Both of us hung-over to hell next day, mime seemed to go, hers just got worse. Eventually remembered sex.and was there a tampon? Shit! Shit! SHIT! Cue much fumbling before the string was eventually located and the offending article removed. Think we just about dodged TSS. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not funny at all, and I hope it doesn't put a downer on a light hearted thread, but my ex had a cardiac arrest in front of me an hour afterwards
72 hours in a coma in intensive care, but she pulled through
Thank God for CPR, paramedics and the NHS |
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After spliiting my reed halfway I was discussing with a mate what to do. We decided that I needed to find someone that was really tight, grit my teeth and go for it to get it to split the rest of the way. We decided that one of the girls at school was perfect, very tight, liked it rough and more importantly was a good mate so I rang her.
Being a bit embarrassed about the whole thing I launched into a long rambling explanation over the phone and then told her what I needed and would she help?
"I'm flattered you think I might be tight enough after two kids but wouldn't you rather speak to Karen?"
Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck. I was talking to her Mum |
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By *vGinaTV/TS
over a year ago
Guildford |
Several years ago I was having a night at a hotel in Essex and a guy I knew had been round for the evening. We'd had a great evening but after he left I was still feeling very horny and I decided to reach for my 7inch vibrator and poppers. That's when my embarrassing problem started. I started playing with my vibe and the mix of several drinks earlier and the poppers made me less cautious than usual. Well the inevitable happened and just as I was close to cumming, I pushed the vibe deep inside me and next thing I know I've "swallowed" it. Initially I didn't think much of it, I thought a quick trip to the loo and all would be sorted. How wrong was I. I probably got my closest insight into what women go through in child birth. I tried everything to remove the vibe but nothing was working. Due to the earlier drinks I was worried about going to a hospital and thought I'd leave it till the morning and perhaps nature would assist.
The following morning I went straight to the loo but again nothing happening so decision that a trip to A&E was necessary. Not a decision I wanted to make but knew it had to be done.
I arrived at a local A&E, went in and was relieved to see very few people in waiting room however the receptionist was an older lady behind a split glass screen. I tried to quietly explain that I had something stuck in me and that I needed help removing it. She struggled to hear me and understand what I was trying to say. After several minutes she eventually understood my problem but not before I'd had to raise my voice enough so that people in the car park were probably aware of what I'd been doing the previous night.
With few people waiting, I was taken through to a cubicle and had to explain to a nurse what had happened. I was given a gown to put on and she went to fetch a doctor. When they returned they had me turn on my side and they proceeded to have a good probe around and try and get the slippery vibe out. They were unsuccessful but I then had a procession of nurses and doctors all coming for a look and a go at trying to remove it. I honestly lost count of the number of people who had their hands up my backside that morning. Eventually it was agreed that I needed an xray to see how far they'd managed to push it in and after that I was taken to theatre, given general anaesthetic and had it removed. I woke up on a general ward with the vibe in a clear plastic bag on the night stand next to my bed staring at me. It went straight into a bin. All of this is true and was as embarrassing as it gets. I left the hospital at about 5pm walking like I'd just got off a horse. Never again!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Several years ago I was having a night at a hotel in Essex and a guy I knew had been round for the evening. We'd had a great evening but after he left I was still feeling very horny and I decided to reach for my 7inch vibrator and poppers. That's when my embarrassing problem started. I started playing with my vibe and the mix of several drinks earlier and the poppers made me less cautious than usual. Well the inevitable happened and just as I was close to cumming, I pushed the vibe deep inside me and next thing I know I've "swallowed" it. Initially I didn't think much of it, I thought a quick trip to the loo and all would be sorted. How wrong was I. I probably got my closest insight into what women go through in child birth. I tried everything to remove the vibe but nothing was working. Due to the earlier drinks I was worried about going to a hospital and thought I'd leave it till the morning and perhaps nature would assist.
The following morning I went straight to the loo but again nothing happening so decision that a trip to A&E was necessary. Not a decision I wanted to make but knew it had to be done.
I arrived at a local A&E, went in and was relieved to see very few people in waiting room however the receptionist was an older lady behind a split glass screen. I tried to quietly explain that I had something stuck in me and that I needed help removing it. She struggled to hear me and understand what I was trying to say. After several minutes she eventually understood my problem but not before I'd had to raise my voice enough so that people in the car park were probably aware of what I'd been doing the previous night.
With few people waiting, I was taken through to a cubicle and had to explain to a nurse what had happened. I was given a gown to put on and she went to fetch a doctor. When they returned they had me turn on my side and they proceeded to have a good probe around and try and get the slippery vibe out. They were unsuccessful but I then had a procession of nurses and doctors all coming for a look and a go at trying to remove it. I honestly lost count of the number of people who had their hands up my backside that morning. Eventually it was agreed that I needed an xray to see how far they'd managed to push it in and after that I was taken to theatre, given general anaesthetic and had it removed. I woke up on a general ward with the vibe in a clear plastic bag on the night stand next to my bed staring at me. It went straight into a bin. All of this is true and was as embarrassing as it gets. I left the hospital at about 5pm walking like I'd just got off a horse. Never again!!"
Absolute classic can't stop laughing at this and all the others  |
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Missionary, pops out, hits my pubic bone, fractured penis.
High drama, rush to A&E, operation, stiches inside and out, no sex for quite some time.
Can have OP to restraighten it but will lose 2 inches.
Turns out he was a cheater too. Karma huh? |
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By *ackspopCouple
over a year ago
Wymondham |
"All of this is true and was as embarrassing as it gets. I left the hospital at about 5pm walking like I'd just got off a horse. Never again!!"
Just remember we're all laughing WITH you, not AT you.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Several years ago I was having a night at a hotel in Essex and a guy I knew had been round for the evening. We'd had a great evening but after he left I was still feeling very horny and I decided to reach for my 7inch vibrator and poppers. That's when my embarrassing problem started. I started playing with my vibe and the mix of several drinks earlier and the poppers made me less cautious than usual. Well the inevitable happened and just as I was close to cumming, I pushed the vibe deep inside me and next thing I know I've "swallowed" it. Initially I didn't think much of it, I thought a quick trip to the loo and all would be sorted. How wrong was I. I probably got my closest insight into what women go through in child birth. I tried everything to remove the vibe but nothing was working. Due to the earlier drinks I was worried about going to a hospital and thought I'd leave it till the morning and perhaps nature would assist.
The following morning I went straight to the loo but again nothing happening so decision that a trip to A&E was necessary. Not a decision I wanted to make but knew it had to be done.
I arrived at a local A&E, went in and was relieved to see very few people in waiting room however the receptionist was an older lady behind a split glass screen. I tried to quietly explain that I had something stuck in me and that I needed help removing it. She struggled to hear me and understand what I was trying to say. After several minutes she eventually understood my problem but not before I'd had to raise my voice enough so that people in the car park were probably aware of what I'd been doing the previous night.
With few people waiting, I was taken through to a cubicle and had to explain to a nurse what had happened. I was given a gown to put on and she went to fetch a doctor. When they returned they had me turn on my side and they proceeded to have a good probe around and try and get the slippery vibe out. They were unsuccessful but I then had a procession of nurses and doctors all coming for a look and a go at trying to remove it. I honestly lost count of the number of people who had their hands up my backside that morning. Eventually it was agreed that I needed an xray to see how far they'd managed to push it in and after that I was taken to theatre, given general anaesthetic and had it removed. I woke up on a general ward with the vibe in a clear plastic bag on the night stand next to my bed staring at me. It went straight into a bin. All of this is true and was as embarrassing as it gets. I left the hospital at about 5pm walking like I'd just got off a horse. Never again!!"
Brilliant so so funny |
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"Several years ago I was having a night at a hotel in Essex and a guy I knew had been round for the evening. We'd had a great evening but after he left I was still feeling very horny and I decided to reach for my 7inch vibrator and poppers. That's when my embarrassing problem started. I started playing with my vibe and the mix of several drinks earlier and the poppers made me less cautious than usual. Well the inevitable happened and just as I was close to cumming, I pushed the vibe deep inside me and next thing I know I've "swallowed" it. Initially I didn't think much of it, I thought a quick trip to the loo and all would be sorted. How wrong was I. I probably got my closest insight into what women go through in child birth. I tried everything to remove the vibe but nothing was working. Due to the earlier drinks I was worried about going to a hospital and thought I'd leave it till the morning and perhaps nature would assist.
The following morning I went straight to the loo but again nothing happening so decision that a trip to A&E was necessary. Not a decision I wanted to make but knew it had to be done.
I arrived at a local A&E, went in and was relieved to see very few people in waiting room however the receptionist was an older lady behind a split glass screen. I tried to quietly explain that I had something stuck in me and that I needed help removing it. She struggled to hear me and understand what I was trying to say. After several minutes she eventually understood my problem but not before I'd had to raise my voice enough so that people in the car park were probably aware of what I'd been doing the previous night.
With few people waiting, I was taken through to a cubicle and had to explain to a nurse what had happened. I was given a gown to put on and she went to fetch a doctor. When they returned they had me turn on my side and they proceeded to have a good probe around and try and get the slippery vibe out. They were unsuccessful but I then had a procession of nurses and doctors all coming for a look and a go at trying to remove it. I honestly lost count of the number of people who had their hands up my backside that morning. Eventually it was agreed that I needed an xray to see how far they'd managed to push it in and after that I was taken to theatre, given general anaesthetic and had it removed. I woke up on a general ward with the vibe in a clear plastic bag on the night stand next to my bed staring at me. It went straight into a bin. All of this is true and was as embarrassing as it gets. I left the hospital at about 5pm walking like I'd just got off a horse. Never again!!"
Oh my |
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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago
Northampton |
"Missionary, pops out, hits my pubic bone, fractured penis.
High drama, rush to A&E, operation, stiches inside and out, no sex for quite some time.
Can have OP to restraighten it but will lose 2 inches.
Turns out he was a cheater too. Karma huh?"
Literal LOLs here
I guess his Mrs turned up at hospital then.. his face must have been a picture!! lololol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Several years ago I was having a night at a hotel in Essex and a guy I knew had been round for the evening. We'd had a great evening but after he left I was still feeling very horny and I decided to reach for my 7inch vibrator and poppers. That's when my embarrassing problem started. I started playing with my vibe and the mix of several drinks earlier and the poppers made me less cautious than usual. Well the inevitable happened and just as I was close to cumming, I pushed the vibe deep inside me and next thing I know I've "swallowed" it. Initially I didn't think much of it, I thought a quick trip to the loo and all would be sorted. How wrong was I. I probably got my closest insight into what women go through in child birth. I tried everything to remove the vibe but nothing was working. Due to the earlier drinks I was worried about going to a hospital and thought I'd leave it till the morning and perhaps nature would assist.
The following morning I went straight to the loo but again nothing happening so decision that a trip to A&E was necessary. Not a decision I wanted to make but knew it had to be done.
I arrived at a local A&E, went in and was relieved to see very few people in waiting room however the receptionist was an older lady behind a split glass screen. I tried to quietly explain that I had something stuck in me and that I needed help removing it. She struggled to hear me and understand what I was trying to say. After several minutes she eventually understood my problem but not before I'd had to raise my voice enough so that people in the car park were probably aware of what I'd been doing the previous night.
With few people waiting, I was taken through to a cubicle and had to explain to a nurse what had happened. I was given a gown to put on and she went to fetch a doctor. When they returned they had me turn on my side and they proceeded to have a good probe around and try and get the slippery vibe out. They were unsuccessful but I then had a procession of nurses and doctors all coming for a look and a go at trying to remove it. I honestly lost count of the number of people who had their hands up my backside that morning. Eventually it was agreed that I needed an xray to see how far they'd managed to push it in and after that I was taken to theatre, given general anaesthetic and had it removed. I woke up on a general ward with the vibe in a clear plastic bag on the night stand next to my bed staring at me. It went straight into a bin. All of this is true and was as embarrassing as it gets. I left the hospital at about 5pm walking like I'd just got off a horse. Never again!!"
At least it was something that is supposed to go up there! I've heard of all sorts having to be fished out, including toilet brushes and Buzz Lightyear models... |
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"Missionary, pops out, hits my pubic bone, fractured penis.
High drama, rush to A&E, operation, stiches inside and out, no sex for quite some time.
Can have OP to restraighten it but will lose 2 inches.
Turns out he was a cheater too. Karma huh?
Literal LOLs here
I guess his Mrs turned up at hospital then.. his face must have been a picture!! lololol"
Nah, admitted it at hospital. Then asked doctors if there was a way he could explain his way out of it. Tosser  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was out with a group of friends and it got late and it was just me and this friend of a friend left out. We were both pretty wasted and shard a taxi home. Any we ended u getting friendly in the taxi and I ended up going back to hers. We went up stairs, kissed and undressed and eventually I went down on her. It was going well, moans and groans and then she stops making a noise and starts to grind and wiggle about. I had her pinned down, she couldn't really move but wasn't really making much noise. This was odd I thought. Then suddenly one of her knees smacks into the side of my head and she rolls over and projectile vomited all over the place and a little on me. I ended up staying all night looking after her and making sure she was ok. However since then we never really spoke. Totes awks. |
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I travelled about 30 miles for a meet, the guy was gorgeous we got straight to it because we'd been talking for a while before the meet so the tension was high, he had a lovely cock...and then it all went wrong when we was vigorously stimulating my Gspot with his fingers and his nail must have caught me so it bled... He noticed and freaked out massively at the sight of blood. I went the toilet and the bleeding had stopped (only a slight nick) but he was too freaked out to carry on so off home I went, frustrated to death!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Getting a blow job off an ex and my foreskin got wedged in a gap between her teeth!!!!
Still bear the scar
Brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it ?????????? |
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By *vGinaTV/TS
over a year ago
Guildford |
"Several years ago I was having a night at a hotel in Essex and a guy I knew had been round for the evening. We'd had a great evening but after he left I was still feeling very horny and I decided to reach for my 7inch vibrator and poppers. That's when my embarrassing problem started. I started playing with my vibe and the mix of several drinks earlier and the poppers made me less cautious than usual. Well the inevitable happened and just as I was close to cumming, I pushed the vibe deep inside me and next thing I know I've "swallowed" it. Initially I didn't think much of it, I thought a quick trip to the loo and all would be sorted. How wrong was I. I probably got my closest insight into what women go through in child birth. I tried everything to remove the vibe but nothing was working. Due to the earlier drinks I was worried about going to a hospital and thought I'd leave it till the morning and perhaps nature would assist.
The following morning I went straight to the loo but again nothing happening so decision that a trip to A&E was necessary. Not a decision I wanted to make but knew it had to be done.
I arrived at a local A&E, went in and was relieved to see very few people in waiting room however the receptionist was an older lady behind a split glass screen. I tried to quietly explain that I had something stuck in me and that I needed help removing it. She struggled to hear me and understand what I was trying to say. After several minutes she eventually understood my problem but not before I'd had to raise my voice enough so that people in the car park were probably aware of what I'd been doing the previous night.
With few people waiting, I was taken through to a cubicle and had to explain to a nurse what had happened. I was given a gown to put on and she went to fetch a doctor. When they returned they had me turn on my side and they proceeded to have a good probe around and try and get the slippery vibe out. They were unsuccessful but I then had a procession of nurses and doctors all coming for a look and a go at trying to remove it. I honestly lost count of the number of people who had their hands up my backside that morning. Eventually it was agreed that I needed an xray to see how far they'd managed to push it in and after that I was taken to theatre, given general anaesthetic and had it removed. I woke up on a general ward with the vibe in a clear plastic bag on the night stand next to my bed staring at me. It went straight into a bin. All of this is true and was as embarrassing as it gets. I left the hospital at about 5pm walking like I'd just got off a horse. Never again!!
Absolute classic can't stop laughing at this and all the others "
Thanks for all the private messages, it is funny looking back at my mishap and hopefully a lesson to anyone else who gets carried away with their toys. Don't do it!!! |
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