FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Introducing the new girlfriend
Introducing the new girlfriend
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Right, I have a new girlfriend..(very new hence why I'm still on here) but I really want too introduce her too this scene as I know many people/couples/men would very much enjoy her & what she has too offer. How do I go out about bringing this up too her? Any advice/experiences/suggestions? Thanks in advance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well when you broach the subject with her you need to be prepared to either give up her or the lifestyle.
The best way would be to tell her the life style you have been involved in but explain that u are happy to introduce her to it or your prepared to give it up. Leave it at that don't pressure, go on her terms |
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"Right, I have a new girlfriend..(very new hence why I'm still on here) but I really want too introduce her too this scene as I know many people/couples/men would very much enjoy her & what she has too offer. How do I go out about bringing this up too her? Any advice/experiences/suggestions? Thanks in advance."
Drop hints in the conversation and check her receptiveness to the idea.
You could say you had dabbled in this area in a previous relationship and that it was fun for both of you. Be prepared for "the look"...
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take her out for the eve ....just don't tell her its a swingers club....you may find out your answer quick...which may save you wasting time looking for a swing girlfriend...or she may enjoy herself ....all bases covered |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fab pimps.com
What's that supposed too mean? Only asking a genuine question."
Think about it...you sound like you're bringing a cow to market..you don't ask other people about something thats a very intimate experience...it's not textbook, it's something adults "discuss" first then see what options they both have??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"take her out for the eve ....just don't tell her its a swingers club....you may find out your answer quick...which may save you wasting time looking for a swing girlfriend...or she may enjoy herself ....all bases covered"
Brilliant advice?...why not suprise her by having a stranger in the bed when you turn in for the night...you may find your answer quicker  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The poor guy was only asking for some advice from other couples who may have experienced something similar"
Its a "forum" one of the ingredients is interaction...that coupled with opinions..)) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fab pimps.com
What's that supposed too mean? Only asking a genuine question."
The way you worded your OP. 'Many people will enjoy what she has to offer.'
No mention of whether she'd want to do it or not. Pimping her out.  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I think if id just met some one and they asked me to partake in threesomes etc id run a mile"
Well, if I met them from here and they brought a gorgeous mate along I would happily partake. But getting into a new relationship and finding out my new boyfriend wants to offer me to others for sex? Tying my running shoes on now! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Right, I have a new girlfriend..(very new hence why I'm still on here) but I really want too introduce her too this scene as I know many people/couples/men would very much enjoy her & what she has too offer. How do I go out about bringing this up too her? Any advice/experiences/suggestions? Thanks in advance."
Sorry OP but what about what she would get from the experience? You say about people 'enjoying her and what she has to offer'... Is that all she is.
I've no advice, except for delete your profile. How do you think she would feel if she seen it?
Or maybe she is on here as a single lady... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No idea lovely is she into swinging? How much do you know about her? How long have you been seeing her?"
Been seeing her for a few months, never bought it up with her not has it even came into conversation so I'm stuck  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You've only just met this woman and you think she has things to offer others sexually? Is this how you think of everyone you know?
I am, seriously, aghast at this attitude."
Reading it back it does sound a bit derogatory yes, my bad. But yes, I think she has a lot too offer the world of swinging. Not pressuring her into it what so ever not would I ever do that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No idea lovely is she into swinging? How much do you know about her? How long have you been seeing her?
Been seeing her for a few months, never bought it up with her not has it even came into conversation so I'm stuck "
The usual answer, OP. Talk to her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm just wondering why you can't give up the lifestyle and let the relationship develop then when she gets bored with you have to offer she might suggest it herself ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"take her out for the eve ....just don't tell her its a swingers club....you may find out your answer quick...which may save you wasting time looking for a swing girlfriend...or she may enjoy herself ....all bases covered"
Absolutely stupid idea. Never ever do this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"take her out for the eve ....just don't tell her its a swingers club....you may find out your answer quick...which may save you wasting time looking for a swing girlfriend...or she may enjoy herself ....all bases covered
Absolutely stupid idea. Never ever do this "
This is what happened to me and opened my eyes to whole new world before fab depends if she has an open mind.
Ps swinger clubs are not evil scary places x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just wondering why you can't give up the lifestyle and let the relationship develop then when she gets bored with you have to offer she might suggest it herself ?"
That's what gets most people into swinging. Crap sex at home.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just wondering why you can't give up the lifestyle and let the relationship develop then when she gets bored with you have to offer she might suggest it herself ?
That's what gets most people into swinging. Crap sex at home. "
Really??? |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"You've only just met this woman and you think she has things to offer others sexually? Is this how you think of everyone you know?
I am, seriously, aghast at this attitude."
'Many people will enjoy what she has to offer.'
OP, how about asking her if she would even be interested in many people enjoying her? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think if id just met some one and they asked me to partake in threesomes etc id run a mile
Well, if I met them from here and they brought a gorgeous mate along I would happily partake. But getting into a new relationship and finding out my new boyfriend wants to offer me to others for sex? Tying my running shoes on now!"
Utter double standards! Really ?? I hope your running shoe laces , which I doubt you have, are broken and un able to be fixed!! Did you even read properly what the OP wrote??" If they bought a gorgeous mate"dear god have some standards!!!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You've only just met this woman and you think she has things to offer others sexually? Is this how you think of everyone you know?
I am, seriously, aghast at this attitude.
'Many people will enjoy what she has to offer.'
OP, how about asking her if she would even be interested in many people enjoying her?"
that's what this post is asking..how too go about this..lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You've only just met this woman and you think she has things to offer others sexually? Is this how you think of everyone you know?
I am, seriously, aghast at this attitude.
'Many people will enjoy what she has to offer.'
OP, how about asking her if she would even be interested in many people enjoying her? that's what this post is asking..how too go about this..lol."
Tell her you're in a swingers site that you haven't met off since you've been with her - the part's really important! - and ask her if she's ever been interested in the life style.
Honestly, you know her better than we do. |
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Hey bro don't worry about the righteous police on here...
If it's not too discuss past sexual partners give it to her straight up. Will save u from having to come clean about it someday and you'll find out if she'd be open to something like that or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Right, I have a new girlfriend..(very new hence why I'm still on here) but I really want too introduce her too this scene as I know many people/couples/men would very much enjoy her & what she has too offer. How do I go out about bringing this up too her? Any advice/experiences/suggestions? Thanks in advance."
I think it's telling that you don't mention that she might enjoy it, you speak like she is a comodity |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just wondering why you can't give up the lifestyle and let the relationship develop then when she gets bored with you have to offer she might suggest it herself ?
That's what gets most people into swinging. Crap sex at home.
Really??? "
True fact. It's on page 2 of 'The Swingers Guide To Swinging Annual 1974'. 
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Right, I have a new girlfriend..(very new hence why I'm still on here) but I really want too introduce her too this scene as I know many people/couples/men would very much enjoy her & what she has too offer. How do I go out about bringing this up too her? Any advice/experiences/suggestions? Thanks in advance.
I think it's telling that you don't mention that she might enjoy it, you speak like she is a comodity"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey bro don't worry about the righteous police on here...
If it's not too discuss past sexual partners give it to her straight up. Will save u from having to come clean about it someday and you'll find out if she'd be open to something like that or not."
Really don't please if you want any chance of keeping her. If she's what you want enjoy spending time together, enjoy being with her. If you still want to introduce your swinging side when you're both ready then do so gently. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Try getting to know her properly first. If she's interested you'll get to know in time. If not you'll have to decide which to give up swinging or her. Give her a chance first though as you never know what future you could have together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Right, I have a new girlfriend..(very new hence why I'm still on here) but I really want too introduce her too this scene as I know many people/couples/men would very much enjoy her & what she has too offer. How do I go out about bringing this up too her? Any advice/experiences/suggestions? Thanks in advance."
Watch some porn with her involving 3sums, couples, groups, gangbangs etc... Asking her how she feels about it, if she finds it a turn on, but not necessarily with her doing it... As she (hopefully) gets more into it, try getting someone (male or female or couple) on the phone to listen in and get involved verbally! Alternatively, take her to a friendly club where there is no pressure or expectations. These ideas worked for me and my gf... And led to more regular fun! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OK from my perspective, a friend, and yes just a friend, introduced me to here. If you do wish to introduce you gf to the scene then slowly does it. Perhaps talk about your previous experience, gauge her reaction, if positive then explain about it, and go from there..maybe a club where you don't play, if she hates it then be done, if she is interested then go from there. But be fully aware she may not appreciate it and if that is the case back off and leave it. If in tue first instant she hates it do absolutely nothing because you will do one of.two things, either stay with her in a vanilla relationship or move on.
Pressuring her into somethong she doesnt want will do nothing bit ruin your relationship before its really begun. Also can you be with her in a vanilla relationship if yhat is her choice? If so great, if not then it may be.time to reevaluate your choices and if you can live with only her in your life..good luck either way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think most people would run a mile if a new partner said that they wanted to share them, regardless of it was phrased better than in the opening post.
I've been seeing someone for a couple of months, they know I'm on here, they know I'm only posting on the forums and that my profile is honest that I'm not looking to meet and they know that I have lived this lifestyle for years. And we may or may not explore it together at some point in the future.
Point is I'm totally transparent about it. OP if you can't be honest about your past and sexual preferences then is that secrecy the basis for a relationship with someone that you hope to introduce in to the lifestyle where trust and honesty are paramount? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1 word HONESTY then accept whatever her decision is and stand by your own beliefs too...anything else is pressuring and theres no longevity in anyone who puts pressure on either a male or female...suck it n see pal but at least you wont be living a lie will ya, and am sure she'll respect you for being honest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Right, I have a new girlfriend..(very new hence why I'm still on here) but I really want too introduce her too this scene as I know many people/couples/men would very much enjoy her & what she has too offer. How do I go out about bringing this up too her? Any advice/experiences/suggestions? Thanks in advance."
Tell her truth ...only way to go |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"That was quick
Yep, thought I may aswell get it over & done with lol prob didn't go about it the best way but hey ho lol x"
I can only imagine what you said to her. I hope it wasn't what your wrote in your OP.
You: 'hey luv, I know some blokes that would enjoy you'
Her: 'oh really? But I'm not a singer or actress'
You: 'No luv, they're on a sex site'
Her:  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That was quick
Yep, thought I may aswell get it over & done with lol prob didn't go about it the best way but hey ho lol x
I can only imagine what you said to her. I hope it wasn't what your wrote in your OP.
You: 'hey luv, I know some blokes that would enjoy you'
Her: 'oh really? But I'm not a singer or actress'
You: 'No luv, they're on a sex site'
Her: "
Yea, just like that. Good one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That was quick
Yep, thought I may aswell get it over & done with lol prob didn't go about it the best way but hey ho lol x"
Haha what did you say ???
I seen that coming to be honest..also your original post was derogatory to say the least lol
Given that I know you..I was surprised by it ...lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well, there is testing the waters.
And there's jumping in head first to the deep end .
Guess you dived in and she didn't like idea?
Try just a hint the next time, see how she reacts + go from there.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are in a new relationship, can't you get to know her and enjoy this new experience with her rather than trying to persuade her to have sex with others.
What really is the attraction of her swinging, the fact that you can advertise yourself as a couple and potentially get many more meets. Do you want her to swing for selfish reasons?
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Mrs here. Before we met (away from swinging and fab) I was on here as a single woman. I had deleted my profile before we met. I told him about it on the first date as I believe in complete honesty. We haven't jumped into swinging, set up our couples profile after months of talking about it and spent the past year visiting clubs and just playing together. We have just started playing with others, and this approach has worked for us. No need to hide my past or preferences from him at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Right, I have a new girlfriend..(very new hence why I'm still on here) but I really want too introduce her too this scene as I know many people/couples/men would very much enjoy her & what she has too offer. How do I go out about bringing this up too her? Any advice/experiences/suggestions? Thanks in advance."
enjoy her and what she has to offer, she isn't some trophy! What about what she wants!?!?!? |
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By *ubybabyCouple
over a year ago
lincoln ish |
This is very risky as you may well loose her but if i were you i would edge my bets ask her to do some baking in the kitchen while you get changed in to your joggin outfit .now is the time to ask her be honest and tell her your a swinger ask her if she fancys a foursome. If she goes to hit you with the rolling pin rrrrrun like fuck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Right, I have a new girlfriend..(very new hence why I'm still on here) but I really want too introduce her too this scene as I know many people/couples/men would very much enjoy her & what she has too offer. How do I go out about bringing this up too her? Any advice/experiences/suggestions? Thanks in advance."
Come and meet us again ?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Could be very awkward as I gather you didn't meet through this site. By the way you are a braver man than many here as thus sort of thread normally incurs the wroth of "those who don't like cheating men".
I suggest that you have a discussion about sexual fantasies, and see where it leads. And if she isn't keen, you have a decision to make. FAB or the girl..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well should have looked through all the threads before answering ho hum.
Sorry it didn't end well the idea of swinging gets most girls and many men running for the hillside.
I suspect most people might secretly like the idea but are too scared to actually try it in case their partner develops feelings for someone they meet out swinging.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mrs here. Before we met (away from swinging and fab) I was on here as a single woman. I had deleted my profile before we met. I told him about it on the first date as I believe in complete honesty. We haven't jumped into swinging, set up our couples profile after months of talking about it and spent the past year visiting clubs and just playing together. We have just started playing with others, and this approach has worked for us. No need to hide my past or preferences from him at all. "
Mr Punch says "that's the way to do it"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No idea lovely is she into swinging? How much do you know about her? How long have you been seeing her?
Been seeing her for a few months, never bought it up with her not has it even came into conversation so I'm stuck "
Just grow a set I had never been on this site till I got with ant told me what it was ask her about fantasises and what she has tried tell her yours if that goes well tell her if not is she for u can u do vanilla but don't stay on here and not tell that's mean and not a good way to start |
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By *s_4_uCouple
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
"I think if id just met some one and they asked me to partake in threesomes etc id run a mile
Well, if I met them from here and they brought a gorgeous mate along I would happily partake. But getting into a new relationship and finding out my new boyfriend wants to offer me to others for sex? Tying my running shoes on now!"
Don't think swinging is all about offering your partner to others. She may be happy with it as long as she just watched or wasn't involved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I were you and your both comfortable with Viewing internet porn together then you could always stumble across a swingers site show vague interest and gauge her reaction. Reckon thats the safest way. |
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