FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Giving up swinging...
Giving up swinging...
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"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?" I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to. That's my ten pence anyway. | |||
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"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?" In a heartbeat. I originally wasn't looking for anything long term/ permanent, but things change and dare I say , I have fallen hook, link and sinker - he doesn't' know, but if he asked I wouldn't think twice about giving it up. | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to. That's my ten pence anyway. " Yep I think that speaks for me and Ben too. I think we would miss the whole lifestyle thing. Vanillas can be so prudish x | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?" No I would corrupt them | |||
"... Vanillas can be so prudish x" So can swingers! | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?" I'm not a swinger. I enjoy sex and the open mindness here, that's why I'm here. Yes I would, no question about it | |||
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"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?" What if your ideal mate loved swinging too??  | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to. That's my ten pence anyway. " I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to. That's my ten pence anyway. I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners" | |||
"The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to. " Highs are fun but it's the depth I like best, and the depth that is lacking in casual sex. | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to. That's my ten pence anyway. I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners" Not all couples have a great sex life's between themselves though | |||
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"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to. That's my ten pence anyway. I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners Not all couples have a great sex life's between themselves though "I know, I'm Learning a lot from this site | |||
"it will never happen, so No" Ditto. There's no man alive that doesn't get fed up of me eventually. | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to. That's my ten pence anyway. I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners Not all couples have a great sex life's between themselves though "That;s probably not the best basis to start swinging though is it | |||
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"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to. That's my ten pence anyway. I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners Not all couples have a great sex life's between themselves though
That;s probably not the best basis to start swinging though is it"Just making an observation | |||
"I think there are only 2 reasons why I'd give up swinging and that is; if I fall totally head over heels ( that is highly unlikely) or when I'm far too old and need to take up knitting." I feel the same way...and I was talking 'head over heels'....not that it has happened or anything x | |||
"Hopefully your ideal person would end up being a swinger sonnonneed to change "If I could accept being in a swinging relationship with someone I was truly head over heels in love with, but, that is a big 'if'. I know lots of couples do this, but it is not for everyone, I have never tried it and currently cannot quite imagine it for myself. | |||
"If the right man came along i would give it up in a instant...getting to old now anyway "Too old ...nonsense...not by a long shot | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? What if your ideal mate loved swinging too?? "That is the bit I am not yet sure about, having never been in that situation....could I accept sharing a woman I was head over heels in love with?? I don't know. | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to. That's my ten pence anyway. I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners"  | |||
"Interesting question. I arrived on the swing scene shortly after coming out of a long term relationship - and had a few fleeting relationships with people on the scene itself. But if I met the vanilla love of my life tomorrow, yes, I'd give it up. Because that woman would fulfil me in every possible respect - emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. " This is very much how I presently feel. | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to. That's my ten pence anyway. I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners Not all couples have a great sex life's between themselves though
That;s probably not the best basis to start swinging though is it"Worked for us thanks. We agreed to swing when we stared the relationship. Now we're married... | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to. That's my ten pence anyway. I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners" Being exclusive to one person is the definition of repetition. Repetition is, by definition, not exciting. Please lets agree on that, thats just dictionary definitions. That is not to say one partner can't be pleasant or fulfilling in other ways, but long term exciting it is not. If want you want from sex is emotional satisfaction, affection and romance than yes you can be fine with one person. But swinging wins hands down for excitement. | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?" Depends on the person. I'm happier in this lifestyle than I've ever been. I honestly don't think I ever intended to get into relationships, it was just "the way the world works", however, I think I have the capacity to give up the lifestyle | |||
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"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to. That's my ten pence anyway. I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners Being exclusive to one person is the definition of repetition. Repetition is, by definition, not exciting. Please lets agree on that, thats just dictionary definitions. That is not to say one partner can't be pleasant or fulfilling in other ways, but long term exciting it is not. If want you want from sex is emotional satisfaction, affection and romance than yes you can be fine with one person. But swinging wins hands down for excitement. " I have to beg to differ that sex cannot be exciting with one person, if it is the right person. I swung solo for four years on and off between relationships, nsa sex, but when I met Mr law, and since, no other man can excite me in the way he does and I do not have any interest or desire in meeting another man .... at times, if the moment strikes, we will meet a TV, but realistically, nothing else is gloating my boat. On our first meet we discussed, where do you go from having experienced so much on the scene, and where we went (and are now) is into what could also be seen as a vanilla relationship which is exciting and fulfilling on all levels ... much more so than any swinging relationship can be. I feel a little sad for anyone that thinks sex with the same person would be boring .... | |||
"Interesting question. I arrived on the swing scene shortly after coming out of a long term relationship - and had a few fleeting relationships with people on the scene itself. But if I met the vanilla love of my life tomorrow, yes, I'd give it up. Because that woman would fulfil me in every possible respect - emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. " | |||
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"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to. That's my ten pence anyway. I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners Being exclusive to one person is the definition of repetition. Repetition is, by definition, not exciting. Please lets agree on that, thats just dictionary definitions. That is not to say one partner can't be pleasant or fulfilling in other ways, but long term exciting it is not. If want you want from sex is emotional satisfaction, affection and romance than yes you can be fine with one person. But swinging wins hands down for excitement. I have to beg to differ that sex cannot be exciting with one person, if it is the right person. I swung solo for four years on and off between relationships, nsa sex, but when I met Mr law, and since, no other man can excite me in the way he does and I do not have any interest or desire in meeting another man .... at times, if the moment strikes, we will meet a TV, but realistically, nothing else is gloating my boat. On our first meet we discussed, where do you go from having experienced so much on the scene, and where we went (and are now) is into what could also be seen as a vanilla relationship which is exciting and fulfilling on all levels ... much more so than any swinging relationship can be. I feel a little sad for anyone that thinks sex with the same person would be boring ...." Few things are more dull than semantic debates. I don't deny that what you describe is fulfilling and pleasurable. But it's just a simple definition that variation is associated with excitement | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to. That's my ten pence anyway. I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners Being exclusive to one person is the definition of repetition. Repetition is, by definition, not exciting. Please lets agree on that, thats just dictionary definitions. That is not to say one partner can't be pleasant or fulfilling in other ways, but long term exciting it is not. If want you want from sex is emotional satisfaction, affection and romance than yes you can be fine with one person. But swinging wins hands down for excitement. I have to beg to differ that sex cannot be exciting with one person, if it is the right person. I swung solo for four years on and off between relationships, nsa sex, but when I met Mr law, and since, no other man can excite me in the way he does and I do not have any interest or desire in meeting another man .... at times, if the moment strikes, we will meet a TV, but realistically, nothing else is gloating my boat. On our first meet we discussed, where do you go from having experienced so much on the scene, and where we went (and are now) is into what could also be seen as a vanilla relationship which is exciting and fulfilling on all levels ... much more so than any swinging relationship can be. I feel a little sad for anyone that thinks sex with the same person would be boring ...." Ps: boring and exciting are not the only two possibiltiies as I have clearly described. | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?" Nope! NO way. I'm a swinger through and through. IF,another man came into my life, he'd have to accept my swinging, just as he would my kids and dog. Or he's outta here. | |||
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" Few things are more dull than semantic debates. I don't deny that what you describe is fulfilling and pleasurable. But it's just a simple definition that variation is associated with excitement" No, it's a subjective opinion. I am far more excited about meeting people I know and like than new people I may not click with at all. I meet people in hope of finding a good fb, but I have no need or desire to meet new people all the time. | |||
"Hopefully your ideal person would end up being a swinger sonnonneed to change
If I could accept being in a swinging relationship with someone I was truly head over heels in love with, but, that is a big 'if'. I know lots of couples do this, but it is not for everyone, I have never tried it and currently cannot quite imagine it for myself."i know i cldnt | |||
Btw...I am no closer to knowing what the future has in store for me in this regard, but, not knowing and finding out as you go along is part of the endlessly magical mystery tour.. | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?" Yes. For us swinging is an entirely shared experience. If one of the two of us felt we didn't want to swing any more then we would both give it up in a flash without question or resentment | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? Yes. For us swinging is an entirely shared experience. If one of the two of us felt we didn't want to swing any more then we would both give it up in a flash without question or resentment " I don't doubt that for a minute and I think that is both admirable and testament to the strength of your bond for one another. However, being completely uncharted territory (and indeed, territory which I myself may never map), I still can't quite imagine being with someone in the way that you are with your partner (and I'm not sure which one of you I am talking to here - though that is irrelevant) and at the same time being happy to share that person with others. I'm not even sure how this comes about for those who find that they both enjoy the freedom of doing just that... | |||
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"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? Yes. For us swinging is an entirely shared experience. If one of the two of us felt we didn't want to swing any more then we would both give it up in a flash without question or resentment I don't doubt that for a minute and I think that is both admirable and testament to the strength of your bond for one another. However, being completely uncharted territory (and indeed, territory which I myself may never map), I still can't quite imagine being with someone in the way that you are with your partner (and I'm not sure which one of you I am talking to here - though that is irrelevant) and at the same time being happy to share that person with others. I'm not even sure how this comes about for those who find that they both enjoy the freedom of doing just that..." For us also it's a totally shared experience and I couldn't imagine doing this as a single but life would be boring if we were all the same | |||
" but life would be boring if we were all the same " Very true | |||
"In an instant. But I'm not really a swinger anyway "This
Although I'm hoping my soulmate is someone i'll meet on my fab journey!  | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? Yes. For us swinging is an entirely shared experience. If one of the two of us felt we didn't want to swing any more then we would both give it up in a flash without question or resentment I don't doubt that for a minute and I think that is both admirable and testament to the strength of your bond for one another. However, being completely uncharted territory (and indeed, territory which I myself may never map), I still can't quite imagine being with someone in the way that you are with your partner (and I'm not sure which one of you I am talking to here - though that is irrelevant) and at the same time being happy to share that person with others. I'm not even sure how this comes about for those who find that they both enjoy the freedom of doing just that..." I don't really think of it as 'sharing' S. We are together the entire time we are swinging - even if not physically, we are emotionally connected still. It's fun and sexy and satisfying and it's hot to be in this tangled pile of bodies with your partner. And, to be completely honest, the best bit is fucking eachother after a meet. | |||
"And, to be completely honest, the best bit is fucking eachother after a meet. " I've heard that a lot....One gorgeous couple I have met, go at it like rabbits as soon as the 'third party' has departed | |||
"I think there are only 2 reasons why I'd give up swinging and that is; if I fall totally head over heels ( that is highly unlikely) or when I'm far too old and need to take up knitting." Same. Though I'm not keen on the knitting!  | |||
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"Yes in an instant but it's very unlikely to happen" Don't be such a pessimist.... xx | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? Yes. For us swinging is an entirely shared experience. If one of the two of us felt we didn't want to swing any more then we would both give it up in a flash without question or resentment I don't doubt that for a minute and I think that is both admirable and testament to the strength of your bond for one another. However, being completely uncharted territory (and indeed, territory which I myself may never map), I still can't quite imagine being with someone in the way that you are with your partner (and I'm not sure which one of you I am talking to here - though that is irrelevant) and at the same time being happy to share that person with others. I'm not even sure how this comes about for those who find that they both enjoy the freedom of doing just that..." It's a mutual understanding and respect for one another, and a shared interest in and enjoyment of sex together with a joint desire to explore the boundaries that has developed over the years (or indeed decades). We shared fantasies about this lifestyle for a long long time before taking the plunge three years ago - and haven't looked back since. The idea of one of us doing this without the other is an anathema to both of us. | |||
" And, to be completely honest, the best bit is fucking eachother after a meet. " Totally agree. | |||
"No. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe that two people out of billions are meant to be together. I like variety and will continue to have that for the rest of my life. If I get a boyfriend who accepts it and does the same great if not I get everything I need from casual sexual partners and fuck buddies. " I love this. | |||
"No. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe that two people out of billions are meant to be together. I like variety and will continue to have that for the rest of my life. If I get a boyfriend who accepts it and does the same great if not I get everything I need from casual sexual partners and fuck buddies. I love this. "I find it rather a depressing statement....but only based on what I value as an individual and we are all different... | |||
"No. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe that two people out of billions are meant to be together. I like variety and will continue to have that for the rest of my life. If I get a boyfriend who accepts it and does the same great if not I get everything I need from casual sexual partners and fuck buddies. I love this.
I find it rather a depressing statement....but only based on what I value as an individual and we are all different..."Are you a fan of Disney films by any chance? | |||
"No. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe that two people out of billions are meant to be together. I like variety and will continue to have that for the rest of my life. If I get a boyfriend who accepts it and does the same great if not I get everything I need from casual sexual partners and fuck buddies. I love this.
I find it rather a depressing statement....but only based on what I value as an individual and we are all different..."Why do you find it depressing? I think it's really positive. | |||
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"No. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe that two people out of billions are meant to be together. I like variety and will continue to have that for the rest of my life. If I get a boyfriend who accepts it and does the same great if not I get everything I need from casual sexual partners and fuck buddies. I love this.
I find it rather a depressing statement....but only based on what I value as an individual and we are all different...
Why do you find it depressing? I think it's really positive. "Because, much as I love casual sex...and I really DO...I still see it mainly as another fun form of recreation...one of the nicest forms to be had. However, casual sex and FWBs will never and can never feel the same as making love to a person you are truly, whole heartedly, body and soul in love with. I believe if I find the latter again, I will probably no longer feel the need or desire to swing...or at least not for as long as that totally 'in love' feeling lasts.... | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?" They would already be a swinger or open to it, at a minimum they'd know they aren't monogamous for them to be my ideal mate, soul mate etc | |||
"The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to. Highs are fun but it's the depth I like best, and the depth that is lacking in casual sex. "kind of this not depth though feelings ,emotions ,loyalty,interest ,desire to be with ,regular ,unused | |||
"No. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe that two people out of billions are meant to be together. I like variety and will continue to have that for the rest of my life. If I get a boyfriend who accepts it and does the same great if not I get everything I need from casual sexual partners and fuck buddies. " I do believe in soul mates, but in the plural. That there are often multiple people that you connect with in that deep way, and it's not something that is exclusive to sexual partners | |||
"No. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe that two people out of billions are meant to be together. I like variety and will continue to have that for the rest of my life. If I get a boyfriend who accepts it and does the same great if not I get everything I need from casual sexual partners and fuck buddies. I love this.
I find it rather a depressing statement....but only based on what I value as an individual and we are all different...
Why do you find it depressing? I think it's really positive.
Because, much as I love casual sex...and I really DO...I still see it mainly as another fun form of recreation...one of the nicest forms to be had. However, casual sex and FWBs will never and can never feel the same as making love to a person you are truly, whole heartedly, body and soul in love with. I believe if I find the latter again, I will probably no longer feel the need or desire to swing...or at least not for as long as that totally 'in love' feeling lasts...."That sounds like you only have the all or nothing approach? There are many relationships types between casual sex and making love, and many of them are far more fulfilling in an emotional way than casual sex As for being in love with someone, you can have that and still have fun with others, it's just a way of thinking in my opinion | |||
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"No. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe that two people out of billions are meant to be together. I like variety and will continue to have that for the rest of my life. If I get a boyfriend who accepts it and does the same great if not I get everything I need from casual sexual partners and fuck buddies. I love this.
I find it rather a depressing statement....but only based on what I value as an individual and we are all different...
Why do you find it depressing? I think it's really positive.
Because, much as I love casual sex...and I really DO...I still see it mainly as another fun form of recreation...one of the nicest forms to be had. However, casual sex and FWBs will never and can never feel the same as making love to a person you are truly, whole heartedly, body and soul in love with. I believe if I find the latter again, I will probably no longer feel the need or desire to swing...or at least not for as long as that totally 'in love' feeling lasts....
That sounds like you only have the all or nothing approach?
There are many relationships types between casual sex and making love, and many of them are far more fulfilling in an emotional way than casual sex
As for being in love with someone, you can have that and still have fun with others, it's just a way of thinking in my opinion "Yes, you are right, I am most definitely an all or nothing kind of guy, especially when it comes to 'lurve'...  | |||
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"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to. That's my ten pence anyway. I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners Being exclusive to one person is the definition of repetition. Repetition is, by definition, not exciting. Please lets agree on that, thats just dictionary definitions. That is not to say one partner can't be pleasant or fulfilling in other ways, but long term exciting it is not. If want you want from sex is emotional satisfaction, affection and romance than yes you can be fine with one person. But swinging wins hands down for excitement. I have to beg to differ that sex cannot be exciting with one person, if it is the right person. I swung solo for four years on and off between relationships, nsa sex, but when I met Mr law, and since, no other man can excite me in the way he does and I do not have any interest or desire in meeting another man .... at times, if the moment strikes, we will meet a TV, but realistically, nothing else is gloating my boat. On our first meet we discussed, where do you go from having experienced so much on the scene, and where we went (and are now) is into what could also be seen as a vanilla relationship which is exciting and fulfilling on all levels ... much more so than any swinging relationship can be. I feel a little sad for anyone that thinks sex with the same person would be boring .... Few things are more dull than semantic debates. I don't deny that what you describe is fulfilling and pleasurable. But it's just a simple definition that variation is associated with excitement" I don't think variation is necessarily equated with excitement - indeed, I think mindless and unfulfilling sex with many people without making any connection became boring and repetitive for me - it was variation of a sort, but actually it was all the same. Whereas with a 'soul mate' or someone you can connect with on many levels, there is always the potential for something new and exciting, some fun, a laugh, all those things ... I was not aware that I was bringing semantics into the discussion ... jet adding my opinion to the debate | |||
"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging. My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging? I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to. That's my ten pence anyway. I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners Being exclusive to one person is the definition of repetition. Repetition is, by definition, not exciting. Please lets agree on that, thats just dictionary definitions. That is not to say one partner can't be pleasant or fulfilling in other ways, but long term exciting it is not. If want you want from sex is emotional satisfaction, affection and romance than yes you can be fine with one person. But swinging wins hands down for excitement. I have to beg to differ that sex cannot be exciting with one person, if it is the right person. I swung solo for four years on and off between relationships, nsa sex, but when I met Mr law, and since, no other man can excite me in the way he does and I do not have any interest or desire in meeting another man .... at times, if the moment strikes, we will meet a TV, but realistically, nothing else is gloating my boat. On our first meet we discussed, where do you go from having experienced so much on the scene, and where we went (and are now) is into what could also be seen as a vanilla relationship which is exciting and fulfilling on all levels ... much more so than any swinging relationship can be. I feel a little sad for anyone that thinks sex with the same person would be boring .... Few things are more dull than semantic debates. I don't deny that what you describe is fulfilling and pleasurable. But it's just a simple definition that variation is associated with excitement I don't think variation is necessarily equated with excitement - indeed, I think mindless and unfulfilling sex with many people without making any connection became boring and repetitive for me - it was variation of a sort, but actually it was all the same. Whereas with a 'soul mate' or someone you can connect with on many levels, there is always the potential for something new and exciting, some fun, a laugh, all those things ... I was not aware that I was bringing semantics into the discussion ... jet adding my opinion to the debate" Do you see any irony in coming on a swinging site to argue that sex with multiple partners is "mindless and unfulfilling"? If that was the experience of most swingers do you really think we'd be here? I think most people are here because it definately does fulfil a very natural urge. The sex we have with other swingers is not romantic and it is not love making but it is definately not "mindless and unfulfilling" (for us or our partners) | |||
