FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > No...Ugly? Fat? Old?
No...Ugly? Fat? Old?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've seen many profiles that state that don't want ugly; fat or old people messaging them. But how do you define that? When I see it on a profile, I wouldn't even think twice about messaging them, because what am I comparing them to? One persons ugly is another's beauty. One persons fat is another's slim. One persons old is another's young?.
So when you're putting it on your profile how is the person meant to know whether they are or not? As it is down to your personal taste, so unless they send a message they won't know whether they fit the criteria or not. But would they want to send a message to have their confidence knocked back because they're told they're ugly, yet yesterday someone told them they were good looking? |
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as well as being what's inside a person as well, can be stunning in looks but ugly inside, so i would pass a profile like that myself as i cannot see how one would know if they fit their bill nor not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fat is me, i'm not obese but i know i'm not slim (or curvy). Old idk, if out of their age range then i'm not their age.
Ugly is the one that is hardest because anything can be ugly to a person. I'm guessing they mean not conventionally good looking. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as well as being what's inside a person as well, can be stunning in looks but ugly inside, so i would pass a profile like that myself as i cannot see how one would know if they fit their bill nor not"
Exactly! That's how I see it. But there are A LOT of profiles on here that say they don't want people messaging them if they're any of them... That's why I'm asking how would the person reading know. |
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It's yet another free filter when I read that stuff. 
Lots of people like what they like. Lots of people choose sex partners by appearance. It's perfectly acceptable to state your preferences on your profile. Whatever works for them.
I wouldn't put that much pressure on myself to be something someone else was looking for though. I'm comfy in my own skin. I don't need approval for that from someone judging me solely on my appearance.
If I connect with someone then it's because they push my buttons for all sorts of reasons, not just because I find them physically attractive. To me that's a bonus. My brain is my biggest sexual organ and someone can be aesthetically pleasing but if we're not on the same wavelength there's zero chance of me meeting them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've seen many profiles that state that don't want ugly; fat or old people messaging them. But how do you define that? When I see it on a profile, I wouldn't even think twice about messaging them, because what am I comparing them to? One persons ugly is another's beauty. One persons fat is another's slim. One persons old is another's young?.
So when you're putting it on your profile how is the person meant to know whether they are or not? As it is down to your personal taste, so unless they send a message they won't know whether they fit the criteria or not. But would they want to send a message to have their confidence knocked back because they're told they're ugly, yet yesterday someone told them they were good looking? "
well said kimi. I did message a profile like the above once. Was asked if i could read lol. Hottiees only apply as there status. Never again |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's yet another free filter when I read that stuff.
Lots of people like what they like. Lots of people choose sex partners by appearance. It's perfectly acceptable to state your preferences on your profile. Whatever works for them.
I wouldn't put that much pressure on myself to be something someone else was looking for though. I'm comfy in my own skin. I don't need approval for that from someone judging me solely on my appearance.
If I connect with someone then it's because they push my buttons for all sorts of reasons, not just because I find them physically attractive. To me that's a bonus. My brain is my biggest sexual organ and someone can be aesthetically pleasing but if we're not on the same wavelength there's zero chance of me meeting them. "
I understand about preferences, but what they're calling ugly, fat or old will no doubt, be the opposite to someone else.
Agree with the brain being the biggest sexual organ and it can make someone far more attractive in my eyes.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ugly?? Funny thing is the most attractive woman ive ever met and I mean super stunning in every was possible looks wise was the most vile pig ive ever met when she opend her mouth so I wouldnt meet on looks alone. Ive also only ever seen this on women and couples profiles so finly a plus point for single men lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" well said kimi. I did message a profile like the above once. Was asked if i could read lol. Hottiees only apply as there status. Never again "
Exactly! That's just rude in my eyes, as someone else could disagree with them. That's almost like saying you should have been told enough you're ugly, so when you read our profile you should have known! And like you said, won't do it again. |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"I've seen many profiles that state that don't want ugly; fat or old people messaging them. But how do you define that? When I see it on a profile, I wouldn't even think twice about messaging them, because what am I comparing them to? One persons ugly is another's beauty. One persons fat is another's slim. One persons old is another's young?.
So when you're putting it on your profile how is the person meant to know whether they are or not? As it is down to your personal taste, so unless they send a message they won't know whether they fit the criteria or not. But would they want to send a message to have their confidence knocked back because they're told they're ugly, yet yesterday someone told them they were good looking? "
I would message them ether for one reason only...... who the hell do they think they are gods gift to the universe or something .
Well if that's the case I'm clearly to normal for there's tastes .
I see such profiles as the sign of a ego out of control .
Nothing in my opinion more unattractive than a person with a ego out of control problem |
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"I understand about preferences, but what they're calling ugly, fat or old will no doubt, be the opposite to someone else.
Agree with the brain being the biggest sexual organ and it can make someone far more attractive in my eyes.
"
Yup... that's exactly right but they've already shown themselves to be pretty ugly to me so I don't care what they're calling ugly, I already know they'd never appeal to me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Yup... that's exactly right but they've already shown themselves to be pretty ugly to me so I don't care what they're calling ugly, I already know they'd never appeal to me. "
very true   |
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"I've seen many profiles that state that don't want ugly; fat or old people messaging them. But how do you define that? When I see it on a profile, I wouldn't even think twice about messaging them, because what am I comparing them to? One persons ugly is another's beauty. One persons fat is another's slim. One persons old is another's young?.
So when you're putting it on your profile how is the person meant to know whether they are or not? As it is down to your personal taste, so unless they send a message they won't know whether they fit the criteria or not. But would they want to send a message to have their confidence knocked back because they're told they're ugly, yet yesterday someone told them they were good looking? "
Its ironic that what they have on their profile is a filter for them to out others - but it is in fact being used by other people to filter the profile owner out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What I chuckle at are the women who say on their profile that they are only looking for slim athletic guys, no fatties, and looking at them they are are far from slim themselves. I know people have preferences but what's sauce for the goose........ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally, I think they're really just limiting themselves in the partners they can get by going on 'style over substance'.
As Confucius once said, 'When a beautiful woman falls in the water, all she does is scare the fish'... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I understand about preferences, but what they're calling ugly, fat or old will no doubt, be the opposite to someone else.
Agree with the brain being the biggest sexual organ and it can make someone far more attractive in my eyes.
Yup... that's exactly right but they've already shown themselves to be pretty ugly to me so I don't care what they're calling ugly, I already know they'd never appeal to me. "
Totally agree, it's the same when people put "good looking only" |
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A persons personality is the most important thing for me. Even on this site where some people think it's just about the fucking. I have to like the person, as a person. Looks and attraction, though important are always secondary to this.
Soon as I see these kinds of demands on a profile, I simply move on. This person is obviously not my kind of person, simple as that. It must also be noted it is only women and couples who put these kinds of things on their profiles, never men. That probably tells you something about this site and the male to female/couples ratio, that they think they can even get away with making such statements. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've seen many profiles that state that don't want ugly; fat or old people messaging them. But how do you define that? When I see it on a profile, I wouldn't even think twice about messaging them, because what am I comparing them to? One persons ugly is another's beauty. One persons fat is another's slim. One persons old is another's young?.
So when you're putting it on your profile how is the person meant to know whether they are or not? As it is down to your personal taste, so unless they send a message they won't know whether they fit the criteria or not. But would they want to send a message to have their confidence knocked back because they're told they're ugly, yet yesterday someone told them they were good looking? "
These profiles are normally written by people who have started to believe the hype and need to buy a mirror |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" well said kimi. I did message a profile like the above once. Was asked if i could read lol. Hottiees only apply as there status. Never again
Exactly! That's just rude in my eyes, as someone else could disagree with them. That's almost like saying you should have been told enough you're ugly, so when you read our profile you should have known! And like you said, won't do it again.
The best part of fab is the ladies like yourself. Beautiful in everyway but not got a ego with it  
And that my friend... is your opinion xx "
Other opinions are available  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
These profiles are normally written by people who have started to believe the hype and need to buy a mirror "
The hype from when they're told they're absolutely stunning/gorgeous etc, when all they have on their profile is a picture of boobs or legs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" well said kimi. I did message a profile like the above once. Was asked if i could read lol. Hottiees only apply as there status. Never again
Exactly! That's just rude in my eyes, as someone else could disagree with them. That's almost like saying you should have been told enough you're ugly, so when you read our profile you should have known! And like you said, won't do it again.
The best part of fab is the ladies like yourself. Beautiful in everyway but not got a ego with it
And that my friend... is your opinion xx
Other opinions are available "
But it's not your opinion  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" well said kimi. I did message a profile like the above once. Was asked if i could read lol. Hottiees only apply as there status. Never again
Exactly! That's just rude in my eyes, as someone else could disagree with them. That's almost like saying you should have been told enough you're ugly, so when you read our profile you should have known! And like you said, won't do it again.
The best part of fab is the ladies like yourself. Beautiful in everyway but not got a ego with it
And that my friend... is your opinion xx
Other opinions are available
But it's not your opinion "
I keep my opinions to myself these days  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
These profiles are normally written by people who have started to believe the hype and need to buy a mirror
The hype from when they're told they're absolutely stunning/gorgeous etc, when all they have on their profile is a picture of boobs or legs "
This is it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people don't even stick to there own rules. I'm a curvy girl size 14 yet people who like 'athletic only' show interest. Very confusing :P"
Just like a straight man messaging a TV... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For us this post is about rejection?
We've been on both sides of this street.
But honesty is the best policy, we offer and can expect a polite no thank you if the attraction isn't there X "
I agree with being attracted to someone, which is what I say; there must be attraction. But it's when people specify no ugly people, no fat people, no old people... To which there's no indication of what these are. Everyone has a different taste in a person and what they like/don't like . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've seen many profiles that state that don't want ugly; fat or old people messaging them. But how do you define that? When I see it on a profile, I wouldn't even think twice about messaging them, because what am I comparing them to? One persons ugly is another's beauty. One persons fat is another's slim. One persons old is another's young?.
So when you're putting it on your profile how is the person meant to know whether they are or not? As it is down to your personal taste, so unless they send a message they won't know whether they fit the criteria or not. But would they want to send a message to have their confidence knocked back because they're told they're ugly, yet yesterday someone told them they were good looking? "
What makes them think that doesn't apply to them?! |
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If people ask for fit attractive slim people we don't message also from my point of view if people say the woman must look feminine we don't message I (mrs) don't think we fit the criteria. ...However we had a chance meet at weekend and they were asking for a feminine bi woman I said to hubby don't bother we don't fit yet they messaged us day after so like you said how do we know???? X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If people ask for fit attractive slim people we don't message also from my point of view if people say the woman must look feminine we don't message I (mrs) don't think we fit the criteria. ...However we had a chance meet at weekend and they were asking for a feminine bi woman I said to hubby don't bother we don't fit yet they messaged us day after so like you said how do we know???? X"
Did you let them know when they messaged you? That you thought you didn't fit the criteria x |
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"For us this post is about rejection?
We've been on both sides of this street.
But honesty is the best policy, we offer and can expect a polite no thank you if the attraction isn't there X
I agree with being attracted to someone, which is what I say; there must be attraction. But it's when people specify no ugly people, no fat people, no old people... To which there's no indication of what these are. Everyone has a different taste in a person and what they like/don't like ."
See your point and agree. Its a really daft thing for people to say on their profile text. It could be viewed as a negative to their profile in our eyes x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm old ,fat and ugly but oh well "
I'm older than you so not old. Looking at that butt of yours shapely would be an apt description. And I can't see your face but who are we to judge xxxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people don't even stick to there own rules. I'm a curvy girl size 14 yet people who like 'athletic only' show interest. Very confusing :P"
But you could have an apparent Athletic build and be anorexic. Or you could be a Samoan prop forward and be classified as out of shape by the body police! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people don't even stick to there own rules. I'm a curvy girl size 14 yet people who like 'athletic only' show interest. Very confusing :P"
Think they may well have looked at your pictures and realised how shallow they really are! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got slated for starting a thread questioning what in shape meant. It was a party for which you had to be vetted. So I suggested if I turned up on my cycle, so a 40 mile ride for me do I get in! Oh how the haters hated! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For us this post is about rejection?
We've been on both sides of this street.
But honesty is the best policy, we offer and can expect a polite no thank you if the attraction isn't there X
I agree with being attracted to someone, which is what I say; there must be attraction. But it's when people specify no ugly people, no fat people, no old people... To which there's no indication of what these are. Everyone has a different taste in a person and what they like/don't like .
See your point and agree. Its a really daft thing for people to say on their profile text. It could be viewed as a negative to their profile in our eyes x"
Which is what many have said, that when they see it it's an instant no |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I got slated for starting a thread questioning what in shape meant. It was a party for which you had to be vetted. So I suggested if I turned up on my cycle, so a 40 mile ride for me do I get in! Oh how the haters hated! "
haha! There are clubs where you have to send a pic to be approved too! I was shocked at that, as like I've already said... everyone has different tastes! |
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"I got slated for starting a thread questioning what in shape meant. It was a party for which you had to be vetted. So I suggested if I turned up on my cycle, so a 40 mile ride for me do I get in! Oh how the haters hated!
haha! There are clubs where you have to send a pic to be approved too! I was shocked at that, as like I've already said... everyone has different tastes!"
Elitism, those that practice this are missing out on some very sexy, cool and lovely people x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say they only being mean by pointing it out that interested so they do not get loads of mail from unwanted people but on the other it could kick them in the butt saying that because you never know who you talking to really till you see them in real life where photo is one you never know.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm old ,fat and ugly but oh well I'm older than you so not old. Looking at that butt of yours shapely would be an apt description. And I can't see your face but who are we to judge xxxxxx "
aww thank you very sweet xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I.wouldn't message them any way as it says a lot about them..."
Agreed.
Personally, I fancy all kinds of people, but self obsessed narcissists with massive ego's are a real turn off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I saw that on a profile I wouldn't message them.
Not because I think I am old, ugly or fat, but because it tells me instantly that they are crass idiots |
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The kind of person who'd write that on their profile would be screaming 'Keep Away' very loudly to me. Their personality would likely not appeal in the slightest. Plenty more great people out there to give attention to instead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't even think of messaging someone like that!
I've seen a few profiles (in my case women) that state they are looking for tall, dark, handsome men etc etc.....then you look at their pics and see their face and wonder how haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the last few days majority of the profiles we have looked at have this written on them. Its really puts us off messaging people on here because it seems we have to be Kelly Brooke & Brad pitt lookalikes or have butt cheeks tight enough to squash an apple.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've seen many profiles that state that don't want ugly; fat or old people messaging them. But how do you define that? When I see it on a profile, I wouldn't even think twice about messaging them, because what am I comparing them to? One persons ugly is another's beauty. One persons fat is another's slim. One persons old is another's young?.
So when you're putting it on your profile how is the person meant to know whether they are or not? As it is down to your personal taste, so unless they send a message they won't know whether they fit the criteria or not. But would they want to send a message to have their confidence knocked back because they're told they're ugly, yet yesterday someone told them they were good looking? "
another good post Kimi...me i think profiles like the ones you have just described come over a little bit shallow for my liking....and if im honest id never message one...yes im old..but im not fat and i do class myself as average looking (not a hottie) just normal like the other 99% of people on here |
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The only caveats we have are: hairy faces, not beer belly fat and an age range. We understand some guys (and ladies for that matter) are extremely hot over 50 this is why we say they can message but our preference is 50 or under. We have met and played with guys/ladies/couples over 50 but it is rare if we're honest. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The only caveats we have are: hairy faces, not beer belly fat and an age range. We understand some guys (and ladies for that matter) are extremely hot over 50 this is why we say they can message but our preference is 50 or under. We have met and played with guys/ladies/couples over 50 but it is rare if we're honest. "
I think most of us have an age range and like you, I have met some over my age range that I have been attracted to. But that doesn't mean I think those over are old, so would never have that on my profile. Many have preferences, but if someone come along that they're attracted to, these preferences tend to be ignored, as the person has a lot moreto tthem |
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By *ivnwcplCouple
over a year ago
liverpool |
"I've seen many profiles that state that don't want ugly; fat or old people messaging them. But how do you define that? When I see it on a profile, I wouldn't even think twice about messaging them, because what am I comparing them to? One persons ugly is another's beauty. One persons fat is another's slim. One persons old is another's young?.
So when you're putting it on your profile how is the person meant to know whether they are or not? As it is down to your personal taste, so unless they send a message they won't know whether they fit the criteria or not. But would they want to send a message to have their confidence knocked back because they're told they're ugly, yet yesterday someone told them they were good looking? "
We just use common sense and personal preference and strictly adhere to our meeting criteria |
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