FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > first time to a swing club with my wife.
first time to a swing club with my wife.
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"Kestrels/AbFabs is definitely not seedy and to say that when she hasn't actually been there is, quite frankly, a bit dumb." The website is pretty grotty though. Judging a book by its cover etc etc etc, but a lot of club websites are pretty bad | |||
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"Kestrels/AbFabs is definitely not seedy and to say that when she hasn't actually been there is, quite frankly, a bit dumb." her point was that the pix made it look like that... her perception. | |||
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"it sounds like your partner doesnt want to go and your coercing her to do something she is not ready for....give her some space to think.. " we've been chatting about it for a few years !!... we've chatted about it and although she is very nervous, with the provisos we have, she's happy yo go , but still very nervous. | |||
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"Kestrels/AbFabs is definitely not seedy and to say that when she hasn't actually been there is, quite frankly, a bit dumb. The website is pretty grotty though. Judging a book by its cover etc etc etc, but a lot of club websites are pretty bad" my point exactly !!... best comment so far !!...lol | |||
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"Prepare for the flaming!" excuse my ignorance !!... the flaming ? | |||
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"Prepare for the flaming! excuse my ignorance !!... the flaming ? " Your wife doesn't know you're on here?? *dives under the table'  | |||
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"Prepare for the flaming! excuse my ignorance !!... the flaming ? " https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flaming_(Internet) But I think you may have got away with it! | |||
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"Prepare for the flaming! excuse my ignorance !!... the flaming ? Your wife doesn't know you're on here?? *dives under the table' ". Your poor wife. (*If the above is true) Cheated on, (way you are describing it) coerced in to going to a club to keep you happy, talked about on a public forum, all behind her back.. If the situation is as it appears, you really don't seem to have any respect for your wife. And if so, I hope she realises this, and soon. I so hope for her sake it's not as it appears. | |||
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"Prepare for the flaming! excuse my ignorance !!... the flaming ? Your wife doesn't know you're on here?? *dives under the table' .
Your poor wife. (*If the above is true) Cheated on, (way you are describing it) coerced in to going to a club to keep you happy, talked about on a public forum, all behind her back..
If the situation is as it appears, you really don't seem to have any respect for your wife. And if so, I hope she realises this, and soon. I so hope for her sake it's not as it appears.
oh dear.. the righteous Police have arrived.... deliberately misread.. got it wrong... and blocked me...love to hear from people who come onto the site for more broad minded reasons...
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"Well I said, IF, I'd much rather be wrong tbh, but was commenting on how it appeared. Cheating is a selfish, disrespectful act but if your not, fair enough. She's allowed to change her mind or take more time, as long as she needs to, to want the fantasy to be a reality herself, without you on her case being disappointed, esp if she's okay with your meeting on your own. If you are going, I'd suggest trying with the expectation of just looking about, anything else being a bonus and naturally flowing for both of you on the night. No pressure is always better when trying something new. And suggest trying different nights/clubs if the first isn't so great for her. Don't see why you need to message me, you can post here if you have something to say on this topic ?" If2is clearly cheating in an early post his wife mentioned fabswingers and he shit his pants which means she doesn't know | |||
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"Excuse us for being nosey but Is your wife aware that you are already fully active on the scene??" nope.. i have chatted to her in the past...thanks for your concern.. are your parents a close relatives aware you're in here ? | |||
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"Prepare for the flaming! excuse my ignorance !!... the flaming ? Your wife doesn't know you're on here?? *dives under the table' "she doesnt know you so i think you may be quite safe.. but if you're that frightened... maybe this isnt the site for you | |||
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"Prepare for the flaming! excuse my ignorance !!... the flaming ? Your wife doesn't know you're on here?? *dives under the table'
she doesnt know you so i think you may be quite safe.. but if you're that frightened... maybe this isnt the site for you"She's diving under the table to avoid fire from the amount of abuse you will get from cheating on your wife Most people are open minded with sexual activities given it is consensual, but most aren't ok with people cheating! and talking about discussing it with family? they aren't in a relationship breaking trust with family unlike your wife. | |||
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"Prepare for the flaming! excuse my ignorance !!... the flaming ? Your wife doesn't know you're on here?? *dives under the table'
she doesnt know you so i think you may be quite safe.. but if you're that frightened... maybe this isnt the site for you""Excuse us for being nosey but Is your wife aware that you are already fully active on the scene?? nope.. i have chatted to her in the past...thanks for your concern.. are your parents a close relatives aware you're in here ?" Now why would our preferences in or out of the bedroom concern our relatives in any way shape or form? Our question was simply to establish whether you wife was aware that you were already having fun on this site and to find out if she was cool with your extra curricular activities so to say..... Armed with all the facts we may have been able to offer some pearls of wisdom. Our only advise can be don't push. Most successful relationships in this lifestyle are built on love, trust and upmost respect for one another. If your wife doesn't want to do things when you get there respect that choice or you are liable to end up with car crash of an evening rather than a blowjob. We've seen it happen too many times. Good luck with your cunning plan X | |||
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Communication is certainly the key and obviously no pressure, hopefully it'll be the start to a new joint mutually beneficial arrangement! | |||
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"Prepare for the flaming! excuse my ignorance !!... the flaming ? Your wife doesn't know you're on here?? *dives under the table'
she doesnt know you so i think you may be quite safe.. but if you're that frightened... maybe this isnt the site for you
She's diving under the table to avoid fire from the amount of abuse you will get from cheating on your wife
Most people are open minded with sexual activities given it is consensual, but most aren't ok with people cheating! and talking about discussing it with family?
they aren't in a relationship breaking trust with family unlike your wife.
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"I hope for your sake all works out how you'd like, hopefully none of the couples or ladies you have met go to AbFabs and recognise you/try to chat to you - your wife could be in for a shock if that happens! As for AbFabs, there are lots of places you can do the things you have suggested, the cinema, the exhibition bed, the hot tubs/pool etc etc... Good luck " thank you for your comment.. this is how i had hoped people would comment !!.. at last !!!...lol | |||
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"Excuse us for being nosey but Is your wife aware that you are already fully active on the scene?? nope.. i have chatted to her in the past...thanks for your concern.. are your parents a close relatives aware you're in here ?" I wasnt aware you were meant to be faithfull to your parents or relatives so dont see the connection  | |||
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"Excuse us for being nosey but Is your wife aware that you are already fully active on the scene?? nope.. i have chatted to her in the past...thanks for your concern.. are your parents a close relatives aware you're in here ? I wasnt aware you were meant to be faithfull to your parents or relatives so dont see the connection "another brave comment and block... | |||
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"Kestrels/AbFabs is definitely not seedy and to say that when she hasn't actually been there is, quite frankly, a bit dumb." Agree with this in entirety. The problematic issue is something else. Effect of using Kestrels / AbFabs as a reference - the place is so excellent that it enables confident diagnosis that the problem is with the person making the contention. | |||
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"Kestrels/AbFabs is definitely not seedy and to say that when she hasn't actually been there is, quite frankly, a bit dumb. Agree with this in entirety. The problematic issue is something else. Effect of using Kestrels / AbFabs as a reference - the place is so excellent that it enables confident diagnosis that the problem is with the person making the contention." I'll be at Kestrels on Friday, enjoying the pool, hot tubs and everywhere else   | |||
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"Going back to your original question re Ab Fabs - we have visited many clubs (18 or so across UK and others abroad) - including Chameleons etc and we would definitely put AB Fabs in our top 3 clubs - in our opinion. Enjoy...." thank you for that view of Ab Fabs.. I want it to be as positive an experience as possible, so that A/ when ever we look back on it as an experience, we can enjoy it, and B/ she may even want to go again. I doubt she will go again, but I know if it's positive, it will enhance our sex life at home... | |||
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"it sounds like your partner doesnt want to go and your coercing her to do something she is not ready for....give her some space to think.. " Agreed sounds like your forcing her into the scene! Which is only going to end badly! | |||
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"it sounds like your partner doesnt want to go and your coercing her to do something she is not ready for....give her some space to think.. Agreed sounds like your forcing her into the scene! Which is only going to end badly! "damn,, isnt it a shame when your opinions are soo wrong,, but hey.. what the hell | |||
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"don't worry, I (Jennifer) was the same when my hubby took me to our first club, I was so nervous and wasn't sure I really wanted to be there, but once we started having fun with each other while others were watching I relaxed, it wasn't long before I was having sex with other men and by the end of the night had 4 guys with me while hubby was watching, they all fucked me and covered my face with cum, ive never looked back, good luck xx" i cant see her being that keen... but you never know !!..lol.. i think we'll play together with others around.. and she says she's happy with that ... | |||
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"I remember the first time Paul and I went to a club. He wanted to go and I said yes on the proviso we could leave if I felt uncomfortable. There were no expectations about sex with each other or me with another guy. We spent the whole night talking to some lovely people and ended up having the best sex (just the 2 of us) on a big bed. Go with the flow with no expectations and go cause she wants to." yay !!.. thats better!!...lol.. someone joining in with the feel of the thread 1..glad you had a great time.. if that happens for us, i'll be more than happy! | |||
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"We made our first club visit (xtasia) 6 weeks ago. Nervous as hell but we treated it as a regular night out and said if nothing else we could have a few drinks, bit of a boogie and some chit chat. We were so horny with the atmosphere we had to go and find a private room and let off some steam! We've since been to 2 other clubs, Amour and Chameleons, and played with others on several occasions, gradually getting braver! Our advice, take your time, keep talking, have fun and respect what everyone wants from the experience. N x" cheers for that.. I hope ours goes as well as yours... | |||
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"Interesting you are only interested in the messages that say what you want to hear. I don't think its right that one in a partnership (or couple) is trying to persuade the other. I would not want to be in any type of relationship with a man who had this evil plan in back of his mind. It sort of blows my mind to hear about women who have been persuaded to go along, as a woman myself. Not what you want to hear, so I am sure you will ignore it." Basically it's "I've been cheating on my wife for ages and want to try and legitimise it" | |||
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"Interesting you are only interested in the messages that say what you want to hear. I don't think its right that one in a partnership (or couple) is trying to persuade the other. I would not want to be in any type of relationship with a man who had this evil plan in back of his mind. It sort of blows my mind to hear about women who have been persuaded to go along, as a woman myself. Not what you want to hear, so I am sure you will ignore it." think yourself through your relationship.. do you both think of the same ting at the same time ?.. probably not.. we do lots of things together that one of us has to be interested first... im quite sure you dont want a detailed history of our conversations... I wonder how many times you've dropped your drawers for a married man or in a relationship !!.. yeah is that much different ?...ll | |||
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"Interesting you are only interested in the messages that say what you want to hear. I don't think its right that one in a partnership (or couple) is trying to persuade the other. I would not want to be in any type of relationship with a man who had this evil plan in back of his mind. It sort of blows my mind to hear about women who have been persuaded to go along, as a woman myself. Not what you want to hear, so I am sure you will ignore it. Basically it's "I've been cheating on my wife for ages and want to try and legitimise it"" glad to know you are going through life with such insight.. why not start your own threads instead of just being negative about some one elses... trying to bring others down doesn't make you look any better... | |||
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"Interesting you are only interested in the messages that say what you want to hear. I don't think its right that one in a partnership (or couple) is trying to persuade the other. I would not want to be in any type of relationship with a man who had this evil plan in back of his mind. It sort of blows my mind to hear about women who have been persuaded to go along, as a woman myself. Not what you want to hear, so I am sure you will ignore it. think yourself through your relationship.. do you both think of the same ting at the same time ?.. probably not.. we do lots of things together that one of us has to be interested first... im quite sure you dont want a detailed history of our conversations... I wonder how many times you've dropped your drawers for a married man or in a relationship !!.. yeah is that much different ?...ll" I agree, surely one person has to show an interest first and then discuss it with their partner. | |||
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"IF your past verifications are you cheating; at least you've always got cheating to fall back on if your partner goes and doesn't enjoy it.. I'd find it ironic you care about her feelings in a sex club but not in being open and honest in your relationship as a whole. But then, I'm so *righteous and perfect* of course, so feel free ignore my comment "how about if you ignore the thread ? | |||
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"IF your past verifications are you cheating; at least you've always got cheating to fall back on if your partner goes and doesn't enjoy it.. I'd find it ironic you care about her feelings in a sex club but not in being open and honest in your relationship as a whole. But then, I'm so *righteous and perfect* of course, so feel free ignore my comment
how about if you ignore the thread ?"At the risk of you having a go at me too, your responses on this thread paint a less than flattering picture of you. A gentle reminder, this is a public forum. Once you launch a thread it is no longer yours and you are left open to hearing things you might not want to hear. Others are just as entitled to post whatever comments they wish, just as you are to cheat or whatever you are doing in your marriage | |||
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"Interesting you are only interested in the messages that say what you want to hear. I don't think its right that one in a partnership (or couple) is trying to persuade the other. I would not want to be in any type of relationship with a man who had this evil plan in back of his mind. It sort of blows my mind to hear about women who have been persuaded to go along, as a woman myself. Not what you want to hear, so I am sure you will ignore it. Basically it's "I've been cheating on my wife for ages and want to try and legitimise it" glad to know you are going through life with such insight.. why not start your own threads instead of just being negative about some one elses... trying to bring others down doesn't make you look any better..." I do start my own threads they are usually about bums and ice cream though. And I'm not bringing you down dear,I just find you amusing | |||
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"Interesting you are only interested in the messages that say what you want to hear. I don't think its right that one in a partnership (or couple) is trying to persuade the other. I would not want to be in any type of relationship with a man who had this evil plan in back of his mind. It sort of blows my mind to hear about women who have been persuaded to go along, as a woman myself. Not what you want to hear, so I am sure you will ignore it. Basically it's "I've been cheating on my wife for ages and want to try and legitimise it" glad to know you are going through life with such insight.. why not start your own threads instead of just being negative about some one elses... trying to bring others down doesn't make you look any better... I do start my own threads they are usually about bums and ice cream though. And I'm not bringing you down dear,I just find you amusing " oh dear | |||
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"wow !!.. dont people want things spelt out?.... you and your partner will have created an image to all the levels of people you know.. possibly one of them with you both being faithful to each other, and not having sex with others whether or not you both know about it. Swinging taints that, because although you know about it, you're still having sex with others. If you're so ok with it that it doesn't matter, why not tell people you swing? we've chatted about and are completely happy with where we are at the moment." There is difference between keeping swinging private from people who have no need to know anything about our private life, and cheating and keeping secrets from the one person who should know everything about you and especially your sex life To compare me not telling my mate I let other men fuck my wife to you not telling your wife you fuck other people is Just rubbish | |||
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"wow !!.. dont people want things spelt out?.... you and your partner will have created an image to all the levels of people you know.. possibly one of them with you both being faithful to each other, and not having sex with others whether or not you both know about it. Swinging taints that, because although you know about it, you're still having sex with others. If you're so ok with it that it doesn't matter, why not tell people you swing? we've chatted about and are completely happy with where we are at the moment. There is difference between keeping swinging private from people who have no need to know anything about our private life, and cheating and keeping secrets from the one person who should know everything about you and especially your sex life To compare me not telling my mate I let other men fuck my wife to you not telling your wife you fuck other people is Just rubbish" | |||
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"wow !!.. dont people want things spelt out?.... you and your partner will have created an image to all the levels of people you know.. possibly one of them with you both being faithful to each other, and not having sex with others whether or not you both know about it. Swinging taints that, because although you know about it, you're still having sex with others. If you're so ok with it that it doesn't matter, why not tell people you swing? we've chatted about and are completely happy with where we are at the moment. There is difference between keeping swinging private from people who have no need to know anything about our private life, and cheating and keeping secrets from the one person who should know everything about you and especially your sex life To compare me not telling my mate I let other men fuck my wife to you not telling your wife you fuck other people is Just rubbish" oh dear.. missed the point again !!.. the point is.. if you are being righteous, you can't be wrong at all.!!.. so if you are misleading others into thinking you are only have sex with your partner and your not, then you are still part of the wedge that is not being honest.. but im not judging you.. do it enjoy it, and be careful people may lie to you and you'll be helping them in being unfaithful.. good god, what would you do then.. why not start your own thread on people being unfaithful in here.. why not go back to the original point of the thread?... | |||
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"wow !!.. dont people want things spelt out?.... you and your partner will have created an image to all the levels of people you know.. possibly one of them with you both being faithful to each other, and not having sex with others whether or not you both know about it. Swinging taints that, because although you know about it, you're still having sex with others. If you're so ok with it that it doesn't matter, why not tell people you swing? we've chatted about and are completely happy with where we are at the moment. There is difference between keeping swinging private from people who have no need to know anything about our private life, and cheating and keeping secrets from the one person who should know everything about you and especially your sex life To compare me not telling my mate I let other men fuck my wife to you not telling your wife you fuck other people is Just rubbish" OMG Youre racist as well !!.. my god !!.. you only want white men!!... lol.. let see if someone runs with it.. it can be taken out of proportion.....lol... thats what's happened on here... shall we just leave it, and let me do my own thing ? | |||
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"wow !!.. dont people want things spelt out?.... you and your partner will have created an image to all the levels of people you know.. possibly one of them with you both being faithful to each other, and not having sex with others whether or not you both know about it. Swinging taints that, because although you know about it, you're still having sex with others. If you're so ok with it that it doesn't matter, why not tell people you swing? we've chatted about and are completely happy with where we are at the moment. There is difference between keeping swinging private from people who have no need to know anything about our private life, and cheating and keeping secrets from the one person who should know everything about you and especially your sex life To compare me not telling my mate I let other men fuck my wife to you not telling your wife you fuck other people is Just rubbish OMG Youre racist as well !!.. my god !!.. you only want white men!!... lol.. let see if someone runs with it.. it can be taken out of proportion.....lol... thats what's happened on here... shall we just leave it, and let me do my own thing ?" No I am happy for you to call us racist if that's your opinion, what I wouldn't do is try turn people calling me racist in to it been there fault, The facts are you are cheating on your wife and trying to force her in to doing something she isn't happy with just to try and satisfy your own selfish needs | |||
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"wow !!.. dont people want things spelt out?.... you and your partner will have created an image to all the levels of people you know.. possibly one of them with you both being faithful to each other, and not having sex with others whether or not you both know about it. Swinging taints that, because although you know about it, you're still having sex with others. If you're so ok with it that it doesn't matter, why not tell people you swing? we've chatted about and are completely happy with where we are at the moment. There is difference between keeping swinging private from people who have no need to know anything about our private life, and cheating and keeping secrets from the one person who should know everything about you and especially your sex life To compare me not telling my mate I let other men fuck my wife to you not telling your wife you fuck other people is Just rubbish OMG Youre racist as well !!.. my god !!.. you only want white men!!... lol.. let see if someone runs with it.. it can be taken out of proportion.....lol... thats what's happened on here... shall we just leave it, and let me do my own thing ? No I am happy for you to call us racist if that's your opinion, what I wouldn't do is try turn people calling me racist in to it been there fault, The facts are you are cheating on your wife and trying to force her in to doing something she isn't happy with just to try and satisfy your own selfish needs" ok the point i'm trying make, is that people get the facts the way the see them and run with it. i could go on calling you aracist with the facts, but im not in here to do that. Im happy that im going to a swing club with my wife. Thats what the thread is about. However, a few people including yourself have decided it's a good thing to to hijack the thread and take it on a tangent you want to go. | |||
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"I've been to clubs all over. It's a small world and an even smaller scene. She's going to find out. How can you consider taking her somewhere where she could find out in public that she's a newbie but you're not...... Swinging has always been about mutual honest exploration and fun for me. " I'm not having a go at you OP but meeting someone you already know is a big possibility. Yes the swinging thing has to be one persons idea first .... But in my opinion the swinging shouldn't start until or unless both parties are happy to do so. You've been active a while. Cal signed us up on here before I had agreed to go to a club BUT we were discussing our fantasies and how best to achieve them. We starting our swinging journey together ... I can't help but feel that your relationship will soon be on the rocks... Sorry but that is my opinion, I hope that isn't what happens but it ain't looking good 
Nita | |||
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"I've been to clubs all over. It's a small world and an even smaller scene. She's going to find out. How can you consider taking her somewhere where she could find out in public that she's a newbie but you're not...... Swinging has always been about mutual honest exploration and fun for me. I'm not having a go at you OP but meeting someone you already know is a big possibility. Yes the swinging thing has to be one persons idea first .... But in my opinion the swinging shouldn't start until or unless both parties are happy to do so. You've been active a while. Cal signed us up on here before I had agreed to go to a club BUT we were discussing our fantasies and how best to achieve them. We starting our swinging journey together ... I can't help but feel that your relationship will soon be on the rocks... Sorry but that is my opinion, I hope that isn't what happens but it ain't looking good
Nita "paragraph 1:you dont know how many i've met or whether they go there!.. paragraph 2;we're both happy to do it. If you read it i say we've had chats and decided that we both want to do it. paragraph 3: maybe if he was signed up before, then he may have net up.. i don't know so I wont presume a comment Paragraph 4/..who voted you in as God !!..lol... you must be a Sun reader.... | |||
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"Hardly both okay with it if she changed her mind and you went all disappointed (as you said) so she then agreed to go to make you Happy, despite having cold feet.. - that's how it sounded from Your earlier posts. " remember. you are only making your comments because im honest enough to let people know of my situation, where as you are a coward and hide behind anonymity!!..she may change her mind.. we'll deal with it... dont you worry yourself | |||
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"Interesting you are only interested in the messages that say what you want to hear. I don't think its right that one in a partnership (or couple) is trying to persuade the other. I would not want to be in any type of relationship with a man who had this evil plan in back of his mind. It sort of blows my mind to hear about women who have been persuaded to go along, as a woman myself. Not what you want to hear, so I am sure you will ignore it. think yourself through your relationship.. do you both think of the same ting at the same time ?.. probably not.. we do lots of things together that one of us has to be interested first... im quite sure you dont want a detailed history of our conversations... I wonder how many times you've dropped your drawers for a married man or in a relationship !!.. yeah is that much different ?...ll" Can you not have a conversation without insulting someone? Why are you being so argumentative? People are allowed to express their opinions without insults, surely. You are very happy to judge everyone and anyone who posts against you, in an insulting, dismissive and misogynistic tone in my case, but can't take it if someone posts a different viewpoint in a civil way. Why are you so angry and entitled? If you did not want us involved in your relationship, why bother asking the forum? I have not asked for comments on my behaviour or practices, have I? let's see you make another comment on someone's profile ... when it has not been asked for. Before you starting chiding someone for being anonymous (not me but a previous poster) just ask yourself how public you are being .... oh yeah, good luck on your journey. | |||
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"Hardly both okay with it if she changed her mind and you went all disappointed (as you said) so she then agreed to go to make you Happy, despite having cold feet.. - that's how it sounded from Your earlier posts. remember. you are only making your comments because im honest enough to let people know of my situation, where as you are a coward and hide behind anonymity!!..she may change her mind.. we'll deal with it... dont you worry yourself" I think it highly unlikely that anyone is going to worry a single jot! The thing is, as someone wisely said earlier, once you start a thread or comment as I have, someone will disagree. Lots of swingers will not approve of the way you are orchestrating things, and they have the right to say so on an open thread. Honestly, I'd relax a little. Calling people 'cowards' is probably not the best way to make friends on here. I do wish you both well though. | |||
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