FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Just don't get it

Just don't get it

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I know there are a lot of timewasters on here as well as fake accounts.

But as a single guy who's been around the block a few times I must say some people on here have no manners.

I understand that everyone likes something different but come on if you put it out there you want to meet the least you can do is reply in a respectable manner.

I've been in this site a while and had the pleasure of meeting some great personalitys up and down the country.

Single guys get a bad rep to easy on here

So I say come on couples and single lady's give a guy a second look because it could you who's missing out on some great FUN

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *adybee77Woman over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

I want to meet the people I am attracted to.

I do not have to give anyone a second look at all - its my choice who I meet

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I want to meet the people I am attracted to.

I do not have to give anyone a second look at all - its my choice who I meet"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

It's everybody's right to meet who they want and so it should be

But some people put it out there that they want to meet a type of person.

But even when person fits the bill a polite no thank is not much to ask for

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *adybee77Woman over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

"It's everybody's right to meet who they want and so it should be

But some people put it out there that they want to meet a type of person.

But even when person fits the bill a polite no thank is not much to ask for"

The site faq clearly state a delete is to be taken as a polite no thanks.

I don't have the time or inclination to message everyone who "thinks" they fit the bill... Because quite often they just don't, and I have no desire to play text ping pong as they try to persuade me I'm wrong.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's everybody's right to meet who they want and so it should be

But some people put it out there that they want to meet a type of person.

But even when person fits the bill a polite no thank is not much to ask for

The site faq clearly state a delete is to be taken as a polite no thanks.

This right here.

If you politely decline someone, in my experience they just beg and beg and beg.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i get all sides and except that i cant be every ones cup off tea, some ladies do reply if not interested and i thank them and wish them luck, but i also understand the ladies can get bombarded and it can be mind sapping and just ignoring a message seems the norm, which is a shame but each to their own

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ivinefoxWoman over a year ago

Coventry

I'm sorry you've not had the experience you wanted on here but because there are so many more men than women on here, it's very difficult for men. However you need to realise that as women, we are constantly bombarded by messages, some vulgar, inappropriate or just not we're looking for. Someone once used a good analogy which is, if you receive a load of junk mail, do you feel obliged to answer it all, declining the offers? Of course you don't and it's the same on here. No one is obliged to answer you, and as others have also suggested, as a guy, it's good to chat on the forums, go to socials, clubs etc, create a 'presence'. Otherwise you're just a cock amongst many...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm sorry you've not had the experience you wanted on here but because there are so many more men than women on here, it's very difficult for men. However you need to realise that as women, we are constantly bombarded by messages, some vulgar, inappropriate or just not we're looking for. Someone once used a good analogy which is, if you receive a load of junk mail, do you feel obliged to answer it all, declining the offers? Of course you don't and it's the same on here. No one is obliged to answer you, and as others have also suggested, as a guy, it's good to chat on the forums, go to socials, clubs etc, create a 'presence'. Otherwise you're just a cock amongst many..."

I agree.

If I send a message and it gets deleted it doesn't bother me.

I take it as a no thank you and I think more guys should do the same.

It makes me ashamed to be a guy somtimes when I hear about how the things they message and the expectations of this site where they think it's free effortless sex.

I do understand that ladies and couples get hounded by single males (my first couple of days I did before I found the filters and even then I still get guys who are part of a couple asking me to me them on their own)

Which is why I would never ask why not or be pushy.

I have been talking to a couple of nice couples and hopefully meeying with them as soon as our schedules match.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *isexmistressWoman over a year ago

Prestwich

"It's everybody's right to meet who they want and so it should be

But some people put it out there that they want to meet a type of person.

But even when person fits the bill a polite no thank is not much to ask for"

I dont disagree with that,in a perfect world..

Thing is some girls are inundated with messages here..can take ages just deleting the ones your not interested in let alone add the time to do replies..

You need understand that what you are suggesting adds time and stress and takes the fun out of it..

It stands to reason once a girl has ploughed through her messages and sifted out the ones she DOES want to message ,she will...Time permitting ..

If i guy can`t graciously accept NOT hearing back,I would rather he didnt message .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

OP: read the FAQ - a no reply is not considered rude, you should consider it as a 'no thanks'.

Also, even if you think you meet people's requirements, they might not.

Don't stress about those who don't want to meet you - concentrate on those who do and your fab experience will be much more fun.

Join in more in the chat rooms and forums, go to socials and clubs. Happy swinging!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know there are a lot of timewasters on here as well as fake accounts.

But as a single guy who's been around the block a few times I must say some people on here have no manners.

I understand that everyone likes something different but come on if you put it out there you want to meet the least you can do is reply in a respectable manner.

I've been in this site a while and had the pleasure of meeting some great personalitys up and down the country.

Single guys get a bad rep to easy on here

So I say come on couples and single lady's give a guy a second look because it could you who's missing out on some great FUN"

If they're not meeting someone that they're not interested in, they're not missing out on anything...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Or are you one of those men to whom a polite no thank you is an indicator that they wish to enter into dialogue with you when they clearly don't?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *hy-totCouple over a year ago

Skellow

its a bit like junk mail in the post you don't open them all and reply no thanks

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So what you saying then is we should meet someone we don't fancy?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ivnwcplCouple over a year ago

liverpool

"I know there are a lot of timewasters on here as well as fake accounts.

But as a single guy who's been around the block a few times I must say some people on here have no manners.

I understand that everyone likes something different but come on if you put it out there you want to meet the least you can do is reply in a respectable manner.

I've been in this site a while and had the pleasure of meeting some great personalitys up and down the country.

Single guys get a bad rep to easy on here

So I say come on couples and single lady's give a guy a second look because it could you who's missing out on some great FUN"

Why.... we have joined this site to meet people who we wish to meet, not to give out charity fucks to people who don't meet our criteria

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *awandOrderCouple over a year ago

SW London

I have managed to live my life this far making my own decisions about my sexuality and just about everything else, so I take a distinct dislike to anyone who thinks they know what I would like or need ore than I do, especially when they are a random stranger who does not know me .... an extremely patronising attitude methinks

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ost SockMan over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

"I know there are a lot of timewasters on here as well as fake accounts.

But as a single guy who's been around the block a few times I must say some people on here have no manners.

I understand that everyone likes something different but come on if you put it out there you want to meet the least you can do is reply in a respectable manner.

I've been in this site a while and had the pleasure of meeting some great personalitys up and down the country.

Single guys get a bad rep to easy on here

So I say come on couples and single lady's give a guy a second look because it could you who's missing out on some great FUN"

Honestly mate, it's not a lack of manners. I've said this a number of times, but go and find a woman who'll show you the messages she gets daily and you'll understand. A social friend did this with me - it was pretty revealing.

If (like she often does) you got 30 messages a day and 5 were ones you wanted to engage with, would you copy and paste "sorry, not interested. Good luck" 25 times and press Send.

I don't think you would.

I know her life is far too busy for that and it's the same for most women. She's had experience with the "why not" replies too.

It's nothing to do with manners.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Or are you one of those men to whom a polite no thank you is an indicator that they wish to enter into dialogue with you when they clearly don't?"

True enough.....

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's everybody's right to meet who they want and so it should be

But some people put it out there that they want to meet a type of person.

But even when person fits the bill a polite no thank is not much to ask for

The site faq clearly state a delete is to be taken as a polite no thanks.

Someone drag BrightonSteve from the other no answer to messages thread please!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OP: read the FAQ - a no reply is not considered rude, you should consider it as a 'no thanks'.

Also, even if you think you meet people's requirements, they might not.

Don't stress about those who don't want to meet you - concentrate on those who do and your fab experience will be much more fun.

Join in more in the chat rooms and forums, go to socials and clubs. Happy swinging!

Oops! There's the fella!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ark_KnightsMan over a year ago

london

It's a fair point and should be respected

Preference attraction is different for everyone so just enjoy those who do pick u or reply

No begging please

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's everybody's right to meet who they want and so it should be

But some people put it out there that they want to meet a type of person.

But even when person fits the bill a polite no thank is not much to ask for"

i agree a polite no dusnt take a min to send

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ittenbutnotshyCouple over a year ago

North Manchester

"........."the expectations of this site where they think it's free effortless sex""

This is the view of the majority of single guys on here in our experience, there are some decent ones we know but they are a minority.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Until people understand they not entitled to a wink, friend request, message, reply, meet, or sex on here they are going to be miserable. Unfortunately people think they are entitled to all the above and more.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ark_KnightsMan over a year ago

london

"........."the expectations of this site where they think it's free effortless sex"

This is the view of the majority of single guys on here in our experience, there are some decent ones we know but they are a minority."

Spoil it for the minority

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ittenbutnotshyCouple over a year ago

North Manchester

"........."the expectations of this site where they think it's free effortless sex"

This is the view of the majority of single guys on here in our experience, there are some decent ones we know but they are a minority.

Spoil it for the minority

Absolutely they do.......

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All the OP posts said to me was "Wah! I'm not your type but it's your loss and you missed out".

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ark_KnightsMan over a year ago

london

Haha kitty

Well it's refreshing to see that there are some people who understand the situation and wise to it, both men and women

More individuals like that pls

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's everybody's right to meet who they want and so it should be

But some people put it out there that they want to meet a type of person.

But even when person fits the bill a polite no thank is not much to ask for"

She has a point to a degree, however I'm more inclined to side with you, manners cost nothing and a no thanks takes very little time. I had a look at her profile and she wears a Liverpool top, not met a fan of that club yet that didn't have inflated sense of their own importance and right of entitlement

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's everybody's right to meet who they want and so it should be

But some people put it out there that they want to meet a type of person.

But even when person fits the bill a polite no thank is not much to ask for

The site faq clearly state a delete is to be taken as a polite no thanks.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am happy someone looks at my profile never mind get a message if that happens I almost get an instant hardon

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's everybody's right to meet who they want and so it should be

But some people put it out there that they want to meet a type of person.

But even when person fits the bill a polite no thank is not much to ask for"

I've yet to have a polite no thanks from any single 'ladies' on here...they just delete or read and ignore.... lots if single guys are leaving as a result....There are other places to go and easier to find it than on here.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dont worry about it lol.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *adybee77Woman over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

"........."the expectations of this site where they think it's free effortless sex"

This is the view of the majority of single guys on here in our experience, there are some decent ones we know but they are a minority.

Spoil it for the minority

They do not spoil it for anyone other than themselves... I take each message I get on its own merit... I don't think "Oh look its from a guy, it'll be like all the other x amount from other single guys that have been arses"

As for messages not taking much time to reply a polite no thanks to... I said I was looking to meet single men again the other day on my profile - queue a mailbox full of 135 messages... most of which were FAF or similar... so yes, I deleted a lot of them without a second thought.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *adybee77Woman over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

"It's everybody's right to meet who they want and so it should be

But some people put it out there that they want to meet a type of person.

But even when person fits the bill a polite no thank is not much to ask for

And people are not judgemental at all on fab eh?

So people get annoyed at ingle men being branded as all in one category... but its ok if its around a football team?

Aye, ok then.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ark_KnightsMan over a year ago

london

"........."the expectations of this site where they think it's free effortless sex"

This is the view of the majority of single guys on here in our experience, there are some decent ones we know but they are a minority.

Spoil it for the minority

May I ask did you read them all ???

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *adybee77Woman over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

"........."the expectations of this site where they think it's free effortless sex"

This is the view of the majority of single guys on here in our experience, there are some decent ones we know but they are a minority.

Spoil it for the minority

May I ask did you read them all ???"

Yes, they were all opened, and looked at. Many really were just 3 or 4 words, and got deleted.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ark_KnightsMan over a year ago

london

"........."the expectations of this site where they think it's free effortless sex"

This is the view of the majority of single guys on here in our experience, there are some decent ones we know but they are a minority.

Spoil it for the minority

May I ask did you read them all ???

Yes, they were all opened, and looked at. Many really were just 3 or 4 words, and got deleted."

Fair play

More people like yourself would be more than welcome

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *adybee77Woman over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

" Fair play

More people like yourself would be more than welcome "

To be honest, I only read them as I do the "delete and read next" option. Quite a few I would not have needed to open the message if I had been scrolling my mailbox as it would have shown in full there, and fancy a fuck or mmmmm i'd break you are never really going to be my thing...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I've had my rant and believe it or not I've had more positive messages in the last 24 hours than I've had in the last 24 months lol. Never new it would be such a sore subject.

Let me just say I've had some great times on here and long may it continue.

If I've offended anyone I'm truly sorry that was not my intention.

I live for the day I get 135 messages asking about me lol

Happy swinging

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We don't have the time to meet the guys who fit what we're looking for perfectly at the moment due to time constraints, it would be silly to start getting to know even more people who may or may not be what we're after

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

I reply to all my messages, often getting grief for my efforts.

Still, I know who I want to meet and who I don't. Just because I put a meet up doesn't mean I have to consider everyone who has messaged.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic