FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > I always get told that I have too many rules on my profile...
I always get told that I have too many rules on my profile...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want  |
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want "
maybe you should just ask them whyyyy soooo serious? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you are still getting meets then you have the right to be picky and go for what you are really after. It's just separating the alright guy's from your preferred guy's. |
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If you're always being told it then for those people you do. I assume that there aren't too many for the ones who don't.
I admit that if we come across a profile with loads of dos and donts we move on but you must do what's right for you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your profile up to you but I would pass you by purely due to you not performing oral sex on your meets "
.
For which I have serious & genuine reasons for not doing... |
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By *ERGIE6Man
over a year ago
irvine |
Lets be honest your here for your benefit and you have the right to be choosy picky call it what you want
we all have the choice its about getting what you want when you want it and gets rid of those that you dont |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The odd bit is that you do not provide oral to men, bit you get penetrated 
The rest does seem normal apart that you do not look for men but you speak about them "
Once again, I have serious & genuine reasons for not performing oral that I always explain to potential meets.
Yeah, I don't want men to approach me, I approach them as I'm specific in my tastes. |
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The big thing about Fab is that you can look for (within the obvious limits) what you really want and suits your mood and desires.
Ther is no need to conform and your profile is wonderfully informative and opens up lots of possible conversations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't understand why they are all bothering to message you to tell you this. "
Or why you are bothered by it as they clearly aren't the sort of person you're interested in. |
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"The odd bit is that you do not provide oral to men, bit you get penetrated
The rest does seem normal apart that you do not look for men but you speak about them
Once again, I have serious & genuine reasons for not performing oral that I always explain to potential meets.
Yeah, I don't want men to approach me, I approach them as I'm specific in my tastes."
You really are under no obligation to explain or justify your profile. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The odd bit is that you do not provide oral to men, bit you get penetrated
The rest does seem normal apart that you do not look for men but you speak about them
Once again, I have serious & genuine reasons for not performing oral that I always explain to potential meets.
Yeah, I don't want men to approach me, I approach them as I'm specific in my tastes.
You really are under no obligation to explain or justify your profile."
Oh I know  just making a wee point. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The big thing about Fab is that you can look for (within the obvious limits) what you really want and suits your mood and desires.
Ther is no need to conform and your profile is wonderfully informative and opens up lots of possible conversations."
Thank you |
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want "
doesn't look that bad to me, I've certainly seen much more demanding profiles.... I do suspect that your ideal man shouldn't be too RIPPED rather than RIBBED though.
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want
doesn't look that bad to me, I've certainly seen much more demanding profiles.... I do suspect that your ideal man shouldn't be too RIPPED rather than RIBBED though.
Cal"
Maybe I like nibbling on spare ribs  |
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I think it's fine. You're very clear about what you do and don't want. I'm sure it's not the profile you originally wrote when you joined but has been honed by the kind of messages you have since received. I've had to change mine too so know where you're coming from. I think the more clear you are, the more likely you are to meet the sort of people you actually want. Your profile, your choice! |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want "
If you are happy with 1 meet and 1 cam in the two weeks you have been on Fab then the answer is no.
If you are disappointed with the number of meets you have had in two weeks the answer is yes.
Only you know what you are wanting from the site.
If you are happy with the number of meets your profile provides there is no need to change it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, for me you have to jump through hoops and all for soft swing.
Fair enough, each to there own. You have your rules, its your body your life, I like my pussy filled. If we wernt all different the world wouldnt turn!
My opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want
If you are happy with 1 meet and 1 cam in the two weeks you have been on Fab then the answer is no.
If you are disappointed with the number of meets you have had in two weeks the answer is yes.
Only you know what you are wanting from the site.
If you are happy with the number of meets your profile provides there is no need to change it.
"
Actually, I've been on Fab for about six months overall and had plenty of meets on my old profile with the same rules, so yes, I am happy. |
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"The odd bit is that you do not provide oral to men, bit you get penetrated
The rest does seem normal apart that you do not look for men but you speak about them
Once again, I have serious & genuine reasons for not performing oral that I always explain to potential meets.
Yeah, I don't want men to approach me, I approach them as I'm specific in my tastes."
Good that you will explain them because I cannot think of any  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The odd bit is that you do not provide oral to men, bit you get penetrated
The rest does seem normal apart that you do not look for men but you speak about them
Once again, I have serious & genuine reasons for not performing oral that I always explain to potential meets.
Yeah, I don't want men to approach me, I approach them as I'm specific in my tastes.
Good that you will explain them because I cannot think of any "
I've sent you a PM... Maybe you'll understand now? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if it works for you, that's all that matters.
For me I wouldn't pursue due to lack of oral, and your current status of asking someone to 'treat you' for your birthday isn't really something I would feel comfortable with. Happy to spend and treat a lady, but someone advertising or encouraging in any way, shape or form is a turn off. Again, just personal choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If your profile doesn't outline your needs , then why bother having one ?
Clearly you have specific criteria , and these are clear . Except one - that being the fact that you won't perform oral on a guy , and that you will only soft swing with a guy . That doesn't leave much for him does it ?
Anyway , that aside , it's your shop window and it's the choice of the reader to message you or not to . Why anyone would simply message you to say you have too many rules is beyond me .
Oh one last thing , as I rarely play on meets the bit about the guy not getting any fun wouldn't bother us at all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want "
Your profile is good and I wish I had the nerve to make more rules. I personally don't mind pet names but each to their own.  |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want "
Its your profile word it how you want list rules what ever at the end of the day you don't have to answer to anyone .
As for guys saying you have to many rules on your profile isn't that just a case of guys trying to tell you you should be a easier lay .
That's how I'd read a message like that why aren't you easy your on a sex site kind of thing  |
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want "
YOUR profile is a filter to attract what YOU want. If people have the time to message you that's their pointless time wasted.
Why are you bothered by what people you have no interest in have to say about how you conduct your business?!!  |
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want
Your profile is good and I wish I had the nerve to make more rules. I personally don't mind pet names but each to their own. "
Wish you had the nerve?!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If your profile doesn't outline your needs , then why bother having one ?
Clearly you have specific criteria , and these are clear . Except one - that being the fact that you won't perform oral on a guy , and that you will only soft swing with a guy . That doesn't leave much for him does it ?
Anyway , that aside , it's your shop window and it's the choice of the reader to message you or not to . Why anyone would simply message you to say you have too many rules is beyond me .
Oh one last thing , as I rarely play on meets the bit about the guy not getting any fun wouldn't bother us at all "
Like the poster above I'm just wondering what on earth a single guy would get out of meeting you - judging by your profile text! Kissing and a wank?
If I were you I think I'd just meet other women and couples that are happy for just the woman to play!
However - your profile, your choice!
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want
Your profile is good and I wish I had the nerve to make more rules. I personally don't mind pet names but each to their own. "
Why do you feel you need nerve to make rules? |
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"Your profile up to you but I would pass you by purely due to you not performing oral sex on your meets "
I would agree, soft swing only with the male but no oral!
but as was said its your profile do as you wish..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If your profile doesn't outline your needs , then why bother having one ?
Clearly you have specific criteria , and these are clear . Except one - that being the fact that you won't perform oral on a guy , and that you will only soft swing with a guy . That doesn't leave much for him does it ?
Anyway , that aside , it's your shop window and it's the choice of the reader to message you or not to . Why anyone would simply message you to say you have too many rules is beyond me .
Oh one last thing , as I rarely play on meets the bit about the guy not getting any fun wouldn't bother us at all
Like the poster above I'm just wondering what on earth a single guy would get out of meeting you - judging by your profile text! Kissing and a wank?
If I were you I think I'd just meet other women and couples that are happy for just the woman to play!
However - your profile, your choice!
"
I only do soft play with men in couples... I'd be more likely to have full sex with a single man though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The bit I don't understand is 'too many' rules
One rule that doesn't fit with my idea of sex or swinging is enough to prevent me messaging that profile, let alone 'too many'
We are here for our own pleasure (in the main). Surely finding someone on the same page is all part of the fun.
That fun is lost for me if I feel need to coax, cajole or persuade. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I imagine, mostly by those that are excluded by said rules? Look on it as another filter, run your profile exactly the way you wish to and don't waste your time entering into even one word of dialogue with the people who feel compelled to give you their uninvited opinions... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want
Your profile is good and I wish I had the nerve to make more rules. I personally don't mind pet names but each to their own.
Why do you feel you need nerve to make rules? "
I don't get that many messages or much interest so I feel a more demanding profile would not work at all for me
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want
Your profile is good and I wish I had the nerve to make more rules. I personally don't mind pet names but each to their own.
Why do you feel you need nerve to make rules?
I don't get that many messages or much interest so I feel a more demanding profile would not work at all for me
"
It should work in your favour as others seem to get messages telling them they have too many rules maybe you will too and then you can tell them that you haven't really you just wanted to get more interest. Win win |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want
YOUR profile is a filter to attract what YOU want. If people have the time to message you that's their pointless time wasted.
Why are you bothered by what people you have no interest in have to say about how you conduct your business?!! "
Negativity attracts negativity. |
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want "
I couldn't tell you anything cos I'm blocked  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say you had 3/4 "rules" on your profile, but no different to most other profiles. The rest are just preferences and if those are your preferences to whom you meet then that's your decision., if people read it then it helps filter out those you won't be interested in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not into "rules" (when I had a more detailed profile). But it's whatever works for you and if it's working for you then don't care what anybody else says. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want
Your profile is good and I wish I had the nerve to make more rules. I personally don't mind pet names but each to their own.
Why do you feel you need nerve to make rules?
I don't get that many messages or much interest so I feel a more demanding profile would not work at all for me
It should work in your favour as others seem to get messages telling them they have too many rules maybe you will too and then you can tell them that you haven't really you just wanted to get more interest. Win win "
True. I'm waiting for a win right now but we will see lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's very clear saves everyone's time , if it works for you ,..... Ya know like what everyone's said... ... I think the best bit is find me in the forums. ... ; I think .... Your a lot funnier in here, I mean to say, I wouldn't recognise you from,, ..meh no I guess 'cause your filtering off, not fishing for... So you don't have to or try to sell yourself , more . ...
I think it's fine .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want "
didn't know you had any rules on your profile. I just look at the pretty pictures. |
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want
Your profile is good and I wish I had the nerve to make more rules. I personally don't mind pet names but each to their own.
Why do you feel you need nerve to make rules?
I don't get that many messages or much interest so I feel a more demanding profile would not work at all for me
"
You accept anything just to get interest, rather than be discerning?!!! |
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want
Your profile is good and I wish I had the nerve to make more rules. I personally don't mind pet names but each to their own.
Why do you feel you need nerve to make rules?
I don't get that many messages or much interest so I feel a more demanding profile would not work at all for me
"
You could try it and if it didn't work go back to your current one. You seem to have a couple of hard and fast rules in place anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want "
I'd dunno about rules but I must admit my first thought about the no oral was herpes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Possibly a little off putting with the list of do's & dont's, I would be surprised if people read it all the way through.
If it's working & your happy with it then all's good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's your profile so don't worry what others think. So many dictators on fab!!  "
I've not come across any dictators. Surely they only exist if anyone is stupid enough to take notice? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't understand why they are all bothering to message you to tell you this. "
I know why they do. It's so you'll 'feel guilty or bad about yourself' then drop your standards and fuck them, really is as simple as that. Manipulative creeps. |
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By *oo hotCouple
over a year ago
North West |
"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want "
Why do you even care? If you put the rules out there it is presumably what you want. Why compromise?
We have rules and conditions and would never consider compromising. Who wants or needs meets with people that you actually don't really want to meet? Quality over quantity any day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your profile, your rules
I am convinced a single female on here could simply put "fuck off" on her profile and still get plenty of messages "
Anyone up for testing that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's your profile you know what you like and don't like and any man or woman worth their salt will read it and respect it, if they don't clearly they wasn't for you x |
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"Do I?! "
No, pet, it's fine, babe.
I think when people moan about the rules it's because one of them excludes them. After all, 5' 7½" isn't much less than 6'; muscles are all very good, but surely a man who can bake a nice cake is better; I was once 40; would something drawn on with felt-tip be good enough as a tattoo? Drop all those rules and I'm good to go!
(Apart from the piercing and the nice arse, obvs)
My only criticism is it lacks one of those secret passwords. I like deliberately getting those wrong...
Mr ddc |
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want "
Funnily enough...your rules appear to be a framework from which you start.
Your current status seems to fly in its face. |
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By *ivnwcplCouple
over a year ago
liverpool |
"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want "
Rules are fine, we have just has many if not more, it's pointless people contacting you if they don't meet your criteria ....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't understand why they are all bothering to message you to tell you this.
I know why they do. It's so you'll 'feel guilty or bad about yourself' then drop your standards and fuck them, really is as simple as that. Manipulative creeps."
Ok so when they do that do you give any consideration to what they say, or do you think "twat" and ignore/block? I know which I'd do.....and it doesn't involve questioning my profile or selection process! |
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"I don't understand why they are all bothering to message you to tell you this.
I know why they do. It's so you'll 'feel guilty or bad about yourself' then drop your standards and fuck them, really is as simple as that. Manipulative creeps."
Blimey, how can you attribute those motives to people you've never met!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't understand why they are all bothering to message you to tell you this.
I know why they do. It's so you'll 'feel guilty or bad about yourself' then drop your standards and fuck them, really is as simple as that. Manipulative creeps."
I would say it's as simple as an alternative way of engaging conversation.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your profile, your rules
I am convinced a single female on here could simply put "fuck off" on her profile and still get plenty of messages
Anyone up for testing that? "
Hmmmm maybe 
I've had bizarrely more messages since I scaled my profile text & photos right down.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want
Funnily enough...your rules appear to be a framework from which you start.
Your current status seems to fly in its face. "
Have to admit I kind of agree with this. I don't really understand the point of rules if they're not actually setting out what you want. Or if what you want changes. If the point of them is so people know what you're looking for and don't waste their time, then they kind of have to be saying what you're actually looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your profile, your rules
I am convinced a single female on here could simply put "fuck off" on her profile and still get plenty of messages
Anyone up for testing that?
Hmmmm maybe
I've had bizarrely more messages since I scaled my profile text & photos right down.
"
I've always said you will get more chancers messaging the less you have on your profile. If you don't have pics or have ambiguous pics even more so. There is nothing to tell them you don't want them messaging you and they have no idea what you look like so it stands to reason they will take a chance and message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Who cares what others think, if it works for you then great. Way too many people on here are concerned at how others run their profiles. Don't like, move on, simple concept really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want
Your profile is good and I wish I had the nerve to make more rules. I personally don't mind pet names but each to their own.
Why do you feel you need nerve to make rules?
I don't get that many messages or much interest so I feel a more demanding profile would not work at all for me
You accept anything just to get interest, rather than be discerning?!!!"
No, I dont accept just anything. I am choosy and discerning, have made mistakes on here with meeting the wrong people, havent we all? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want
Your profile is good and I wish I had the nerve to make more rules. I personally don't mind pet names but each to their own.
Why do you feel you need nerve to make rules?
I don't get that many messages or much interest so I feel a more demanding profile would not work at all for me
You could try it and if it didn't work go back to your current one. You seem to have a couple of hard and fast rules in place anyway. "
I altered a bit, probably too hard and fast now? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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More stuff added to my profile, repeated a couple of things because, well, because I felt it necessary.
Just wondering if I could have some feedback please on my profile? Thanks everyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want "
you do its ridiculous ,quit fab now |
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"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want "
its quite negative with all the dont do this and never do that etc but it is your profile and if it is getting you the meets you want then thats all good. |
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If people are contacting you first to tell you that you have too many rules then just block and forget. On the other hand if you are contacting people first and they say it as a way of no thanks then I think you just have to take it on the chin and move on to the next. I'm sure there will be some that accept them and providing that is enough for you then happy days.
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By *annooWoman
over a year ago
Hastings |
"Do I?! I'm not backwards in coming forwards & I don't want anyone to be disappointed when they find out later that I'm not what they want, or that they're not what I want "
Hey I have similar...but I've decided fab is what I make of it and its about me and what I want...sod what other people think..ull never win..the human race is too diff foe that.we all have our opinions...so dnt woz about them |
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"[Removed by poster at 18/10/15 13:38:38]"
People actually read profiles?! Mind blown!!
We all want our profiles to attract others, particularly people we want to meet. The concern is that when some mention that they find certain aspects off-putting (usually people who don't fit the criteria), we wonder if we wonder the ones we genuinely want are also put off. I think that may be why the OP might be slightly concerned. I find people tend to start threads on subjects like this when something is niggling them.
Since the OP does a lot of her own looking, it shouldn't be a problem. You can have your criteria. Don't scrap it, be more creative in how you word it.
This should be easy for a Big Bang theory, comicbook and novel fan. |
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