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The dreaded is he/she better than me...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As a relative new couple to this scene, I think hubby is worried that I'll do something with a guy and I'll think that he's better than hubby.
I don't think that would happen as we've been together for a long time (20y+) and knows my body better than I do. He's better than any toy I've got lol.
I think it's different with someone else but not better. We're a soft swap couple at the moment, partly because hubby can't take the plunge lol.
I just wondered how others felt about it and, if someone had been better, how you dealt with it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly nobody is going to admit on here that they have met somebody who was sexually better than their partner 
When I was a couple I never worried anybody would be better sexually than me I did used to worry when we met women who were better looking or had better bodies than me, I suppose it was that feeling of what I am going to look like now he's had her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have to separate swinging from emotions. Then there's not a problem.
Your glass of wine may have more in it than mine, but your have the bigger hang over. Is that better?
Better is different for every person. |
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This wouldn't bother me tbh. If someone did something "better/different" to me and he enjoyed it better...then I'd simply like to learn what is she done... so I can carry on giving it to him too.
Just because a specific act was better doesn't mean that my worth is suddenly diminished...he doesn't suddenly not enjoy what we do because of it...just means I've got something new to learn and lots for practice means lots of fun. 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im not sure how i feel about it yet. Both with my wife doing it, and myself. I know that she is jealous, and thinks all i want to do is fuck another woman. (name 1 man that doesn't) But as I start to think of myself in that situation, i have found i opened myself up to the possibility of allowing her the same freedom. I think for alot of couples in this situation, Its the fear of it will make/break the relationship, and they dont know which one is scarier. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Still have the experience of a first time play to go ? But think that the whole experience of swinging is about fun laughter and who knows friendship?
Yes sex but it's not about being better than its about having mutual fun ?
if soft is what you both want then have the best fun you can more may occur once you both feel more comfy with someone? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not as personal, but have you ever been for a massage and been able to come back with a couple of new tricks or ideas to try with your partner?
That's all it will be like: something different, giving you new ideas and experiences to share. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This may be taboo to say but hubby and I both look at the people we're playing with as live-action life size toys LOL...We're newbies and we weren't sure how we were going to feel or react the first time but we talked about it and our rules before and we haven't stopped talking about it! We liked the people we played with and very much enjoyed playing with them but there was no more emotion involved than when we play with toys.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think swinging really works when people stop thinking about themselves and think about others. It's never been an emotional thing for me, but I try and look for people who aren't selfish. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Swinging can either make or brake a relationship, thoughts if he/she is better should be kept with a key."
I think anyone contemplating it as a couple have to be totally solid in their relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging can either make or brake a relationship, thoughts if he/she is better should be kept with a key.
I think anyone contemplating it as a couple have to be totally solid in their relationship. "
You are right and the first time is a little scary.
Kat has fucked men with bigger cocks, better oral technique than me and different stimulating ways. I am sure some have felt better than me for a while but it is not a competition between men; it is to totally pleasure the girl so i welcome their effect on her.
I have asked guys who made her feel very good how they did it and they have been pleased to show me their techniques in the same way Kat has tutored some girls. I am a better lover now as a result. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it's not possible, sex is one of those things that is sometimes WOW and sometime ok, doing the exact same thing. With 20+ years of experiences, there will always be some that are as good as or better than tomorrows.
but if you do find someone does something extrordinay then learn it and share it in a better location, so you are still one up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I should hope guys are better than me at certain things , or why bother ?
It's about the enjoyment , the thrill , the ride so to speak . If it's mundane , boring , no good , then it's pointless .
So if your relationship is solid , and you love each other fully , the last thing you will be worried about is whether someone else does something better than your partner . Infact you will hope they do .
They may be better looking , have a bigger cock , perform oral and breath through their ears , or just be the full sexual package . But they won't be a threat , as you have the live which beats any sexual prowess hands down .
Now get out there and find some guys and women to push those boundaries , and have fun  |
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"As a relative new couple to this scene, I think hubby is worried that I'll do something with a guy and I'll think that he's better than hubby.
I don't think that would happen as we've been together for a long time (20y+) and knows my body better than I do. He's better than any toy I've got lol.
I think it's different with someone else but not better. We're a soft swap couple at the moment, partly because hubby can't take the plunge lol.
I just wondered how others felt about it and, if someone had been better, how you dealt with it?"
It's actually really simple though you wouldn't think it!
You love each other, therefore it will never be better with anyone else. Sure you can learn new tricks and you can have a lot of fun experiencing how other please you both. But it will never be the same as what you share because they haven't been with you 20+ years.
Swinging is fucking for fun. What you guys have like we have is something entirely different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This may be taboo to say but hubby and I both look at the people we're playing with as live-action life size toys LOL...We're newbies and we weren't sure how we were going to feel or react the first time but we talked about it and our rules before and we haven't stopped talking about it! We liked the people we played with and very much enjoyed playing with them but there was no more emotion involved than when we play with toys. "
very much like us, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I've seen Clarence really enjoying something another Woman is doing to him/with him I love it and ask him afterwards what she did lol! Always good to try new things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think what is amazing is the reclamation sex after being with another man sexually, yes you enjoy it but I found mr to go that extra mile after it happened and to be closer. We may be a bit odd on that but we enjoy it that way  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have to separate swinging from emotions. Then there's not a problem.
Your glass of wine may have more in it than mine, but your have the bigger hang over. Is that better?
Better is different for every person. "
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I agree with a lot of others in that - you have 20 years together. There will always be something more you have together.
As for being better, why wouldn't you want that? - take it the other way, will you be really happy if your partner says "I hated every minute of that!" ??
Kate has been with some stunning lads with bigger cocks, more stamina, chiseled physiques - she's loved it, I've loved it!
We go home together horny reliving the experience over and over - only this time together, you have something no Adonis can give you.
As much as we are on a swinging site, if our sex life ever died, say for medical reasons - we'd still be together, still love each other.
Sex is great, and fun - but a truly loving relationship is so much more.
Enjoy the ride! (Pun intended)
D
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We look at this very simply - we love each other more than anything else... Because we love each other, we want the best for each other, whether that's hobbies, clothes, food, jobs etc etc or sex...why shouldn't that be as good as it can be as well...and if that means enjoying others you may find it a transient high, as others have said. This might be because someone has a bigger cock, or better technique, ora nicer body but it is just a temporary high which we all need from time to time and help us understand why life is good..
However, sex is just one small part of the much bigger and more important thing that is called love... |
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"We look at this very simply - we love each other more than anything else... Because we love each other, we want the best for each other, whether that's hobbies, clothes, food, jobs etc etc or sex...why shouldn't that be as good as it can be as well...and if that means enjoying others you may find it a transient high, as others have said. This might be because someone has a bigger cock, or better technique, ora nicer body but it is just a temporary high which we all need from time to time and help us understand why life is good..
However, sex is just one small part of the much bigger and more important thing that is called love..."
you said it souch better than me.
D |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Although I don't have a partner I would like to add my piece. The thing the other person/people can't give is love and emotional commitment. That's what makes sex with a partner you love a higher level than someone you swing with. That's what I would think anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Although I don't have a partner I would like to add my piece. The thing the other person/people can't give is love and emotional commitment. That's what makes sex with a partner you love a higher level than someone you swing with. That's what I would think anyway. "
Absolutely ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think what is amazing is the reclamation sex after being with another man sexually, yes you enjoy it but I found mr to go that extra mile after it happened and to be closer. We may be a bit odd on that but we enjoy it that way "
Men are very competitive and that would be why Hubby's gone the extra mile.
In his mind he's got to make sure he's better than the other man but that's clearly a good thing for you.
I think if any man is having that thought of was he better than its a good idea for the wife/partner to praise him after they've had sex again. It's a reassurance thing and while men claim they don't need it they bloody well do. |
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