FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > What does a wink mean to you?
What does a wink mean to you?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I don't wink at people. I send a message because i obviously want to talk to the person. When i receive a wink from someone hundreds of miles away i asumme it's just a "Nice profile. Happy swinging" as they're miles away. When someone close sends one i think "Wow. Too lazy to message". So, when you wink at someone, what are you saying and when someone winks at you what do you think? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I send them as a I'd meet if you were closer, if people are far away. To those close if I'm not what they're looking for but appreciated their profile. If they're close and I feel a meet is possible then I'd message them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never winked at anyone but i've had a few from far away,only since i've contributed on the forum. It's lead to a little bit of priuvate chit chat mind which I always fully appreciate.
I don't think that's come off my profile though as it's a little lazy and my pics are private due to my job and the areas I cover.
The problem with me though,and I will be honest here,is I don't know when to close a deal. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I send them as a I'd meet if you were closer, if people are far away. To those close if I'm not what they're looking for but appreciated their profile. If they're close and I feel a meet is possible then I'd message them "
Well i'm glad i might be right about the far away wink. And what a handsome face you have! Thanks for the response. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We send them as an initial indicator of interest, any we receive, we view in the same way x"
But not everyone looks at their winks. If you didn't get a response from one, would you then message? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't wink at people. I send a message because i obviously want to talk to the person. When i receive a wink from someone hundreds of miles away i asumme it's just a "Nice profile. Happy swinging" as they're miles away. When someone close sends one i think "Wow. Too lazy to message". So, when you wink at someone, what are you saying and when someone winks at you what do you think?"
It means I like your pic/profile but frankly you are not close enough/can't be arsed to talk to you/ I admire you.
To me its not a converssation opener. I like it but rarely respond. If I like someone or admire them I write to them. Trouble is too many people use mobiles and this site does not work well on them.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We send them as an initial indicator of interest, any we receive, we view in the same way x
But not everyone looks at their winks. If you didn't get a response from one, would you then message? "
Unless it stated that they don't do winks in their profile, then probably not. It's not us being lazy, just that we wouldn't like to come across as pushy x |
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"We send them as an initial indicator of interest, any we receive, we view in the same way x"
That's exactly how we view them too. I suppose there could be an official stance on it from fab to iron out the mixed beliefs in what they mean! People lead busy lives and orchestrating a message to not be responded to can be disheartening, so we say wink and if the said person winks back, get typing!
Please could a site admin shed some light into what the wink was originally intended for?
Thanks
N
xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We send them as an initial indicator of interest, any we receive, we view in the same way x
Totally agree its just a easy way of saying high fancy a chat that's how a view the few I receive ."
Then why not take the time to just say Hi i like your profile fancy a chat? I don't think a hello could ever be considered pushy. I never look at my winks as i have too many and i find it kinda lazy. So maybe a lot of your winks aren't even seen? Isn't that severely reducing your chances of a meet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to think winks were an ice breaker. A general, I like the look of you, do you like the look of me?
But after reading lots of forum threads about winks, now they just confuse me when I get them, and I usually avoid sending them. 
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We send them as an initial indicator of interest, any we receive, we view in the same way x
Totally agree its just a easy way of saying high fancy a chat that's how a view the few I receive .
Then why not take the time to just say Hi i like your profile fancy a chat? I don't think a hello could ever be considered pushy. I never look at my winks as i have too many and i find it kinda lazy. So maybe a lot of your winks aren't even seen? Isn't that severely reducing your chances of a meet?"
hey you know you just can't please all of the people all of the time  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We use them, as we venture round the site and see a profile we not only like but feel we may be compatible with we will drop a wink. If they wink back then we will start a conversation.
winks we receive we always look through and if we like what we see. If so we will either wink back or message.
As far as missing out, play is limited, if there is a fabber who we've missed a play date with over a wink then so be it but we already have a lot of fabbers that if only we had more time....
Rach x |
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"I don't wink at people. I send a message because i obviously want to talk to the person. When i receive a wink from someone hundreds of miles away i asumme it's just a "Nice profile. Happy swinging" as they're miles away. When someone close sends one i think "Wow. Too lazy to message". So, when you wink at someone, what are you saying and when someone winks at you what do you think?"
If I winked at you it would be to say I like the look of you but I have read your profile and I don't match your preferences.
Otherwise it would be a message. |
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As it says on my profile
I'm just being polite and saying a quick hello
If I just get a wink back I'll proceed with messaging them
If the wink button wasn't used like I and others have said, what's the point in being there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We send a wink as an indication of interest. If we then receive a wink in reply we follow that up with a message. We often find though someone winks us so we wink back only for them to wink us back again. This seems a tad pointless/endless so at that point we usually just simply delete the wink |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We send them as an initial indicator of interest, any we receive, we view in the same way x
But not everyone looks at their winks. If you didn't get a response from one, would you then message?
Unless it stated that they don't do winks in their profile, then probably not. It's not us being lazy, just that we wouldn't like to come across as pushy x"
I agree with the above. As I'm a bit shy (honest!) I tend to send them intially. |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"We send them as an initial indicator of interest, any we receive, we view in the same way x
Totally agree its just a easy way of saying high fancy a chat that's how a view the few I receive .
Then why not take the time to just say Hi i like your profile fancy a chat? I don't think a hello could ever be considered pushy. I never look at my winks as i have too many and i find it kinda lazy. So maybe a lot of your winks aren't even seen? Isn't that severely reducing your chances of a meet?"
OK everything you say makes sense so I can't argue with that .
But I will say this I'm a married man on here playing away from home cheating if you want .
So I view every wink I receive as a hello they even put a smile on my face even when a young guy sent me one on Sunday then followed up with a message offering to suck my cock as long as a spanked his arse for him 
I rarely send out any winks or messages and yes your correct this fact does lower my chances of a meet .
I am fully aware of how some not all people view guys like me . I'm also fully aware that couples and single woman get far more messages than they can handle so I choose to not add to there overly full inbox unless I really and I mean really believe we may hit it off .if that happens I send a message .
I prefer to advertise my personality by taking part in the forums on here in the hope it may lead to conversations that could lead to meets .
Now this is how I choose to use this site am I lowering my chances of meets by doing things this way maybe but hay this way has work in the past . introduced me to some truly inspiring people including one that I will never forget for as long as I live see my eulogy to a lover post for details on that .
So to answer your question we all use this site in a way we hope will lead us to having meets I use it my way does it lower my chances of meets maybe but I'm OK with that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't wink at people. I send a message because i obviously want to talk to the person. When i receive a wink from someone hundreds of miles away i asumme it's just a "Nice profile. Happy swinging" as they're miles away. When someone close sends one i think "Wow. Too lazy to message". So, when you wink at someone, what are you saying and when someone winks at you what do you think?"
My first thought is they have sent it by mistake as I know how many times I did using the desktop site on my mobile! |
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"We send them as an initial indicator of interest, any we receive, we view in the same way x
Totally agree its just a easy way of saying high fancy a chat that's how a view the few I receive .
Then why not take the time to just say Hi i like your profile fancy a chat? I don't think a hello could ever be considered pushy. I never look at my winks as i have too many and i find it kinda lazy. So maybe a lot of your winks aren't even seen? Isn't that severely reducing your chances of a meet?"
Sometimes it's nice to just send a we like you opener
Have sent lots of well thought out messages after having a good read of the persons profile for them to just be deleted so for us saves that wasted time! |
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I might send the odd one and if I get one back will send a message, but that doesn't often work as
A) in don't usually look at my winks
B) I don't usually remember the username
So if i send one and get one back from the same person I probably wouldn't know
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I receive them I look at the profile if I like them I wink back then they usually message, if I'm not interested I ignore them but tbh I don't always look at them and sometimes realise someone's winked me 5 weeks ago...  |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
If I get a wink I check their profile out, I might wink them back or if they are local and I like the look of them I'll send a message. I could probably count the number of messages I have sent on one hand |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Winks to be indicate some kind of interest towards me, I read there profile and suss them out, I think maybe sometimes they would rather wink and see if I'm interested rather than a message that I'd probably ignore. If I like back I'll wink back not send a message and it goes from there x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone winked at you in a pub , its a hello are you interested,why would it be any different on here?
saying that if someone winked at me in a pub they would get nowhere |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Every winker I answer has just looked at my pics, and not read my profile, so I rarely answer them
I'm a hypocrite because I wink people to see if they will peak at the writing on my profile, it does work so some message that are interested and some probably feel I'm a lazy git not messaging
I do have a bit of a predicament as fab rules say don't send invites, so I wink to be non intrusive
on my personal profile I just ignore the winkers  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So it seems like me the majority of women on this thread don't look at winks at all. I have no issue with people winking or ot i just wanted to know what people thought of them.  |
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A wink at someone should normally mean a sign of interest.that's just common sense.If someone winks at u,and u are interested aswell,then u should wink back or message them and go from there.
What's the point messaging people in the first place when they just get deleted most of the time |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A wink at someone should normally mean a sign of interest.that's just common sense.If someone winks at u,and u are interested aswell,then u should wink back or message them and go from there.
What's the point messaging people in the first place when they just get deleted most of the time"
Yor mesage are getting deleted for a reason so maybe you should try and find out what that i before just hitting Wink? It's clear from this thread that the majority of women don't even look at them anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always appreciate a wink
To me it's an ice breaker - a little nudge in the side to say 'hiya' and then a wink back says 'lets talk'
I tend not to send many particularly as most profiles have the capitalised WINKS WILL BE BLOCKED but used properly they can lead to good things |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
We use them to make contact. It say that we like what we see, take a look at us.. If we get a return wink, we then message. We don't always use them, mainly when we look at a couple and are not quite sure if we are what they are looking for. Those who perhaps don't have a clear profile. |
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By *anB451Man
over a year ago
Reading |
If I receive them I take them as an expression of interest.
If I give them its because I like the profile but am not sure if I fit what the profile is looking for. That way I don't clog up their inbox unnecessarily. If they then message or wink back then great. If not then its no big deal |
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By *km45Man
over a year ago
UTTOXETER |
I send a wink to show I'm interested as sometimes I get disillusioned sending messages and seeing then just get deleted.
To be honest had more conversations on here through receiving/sending winks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Usually means got grit in my eye... Don't really use them on this site, don't check them either, but that is OK I have only ever received 1 and that was from a Forum topic. |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
If I give them it's because I liked the profile but don't want to message because I'm not looking to meet for a while or they're simply miles away. Unless it's someone I know; then the occasional wink is an 'oi, oi!' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I must have an alert turned off somewhere cos I don't even notice them?
I only realise someone's winked me when I look at their profile after they have later messaged?? |
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By *MaleMan
over a year ago
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It is funny when the occasional shitogram arrives after winking someone.
Saying that if ever I see a profile ranting about winks I normally wink for comedy value. It's sometimes funny to read what they think of you for doing so |
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If we receive one, we check out their profile. If we like, we wink back.
If we send one, we are saying we like your profile. If we receive one back, we take it that they are interested, so we'll send a message.
We don't use it as a way in, but we have very busy lives so sometimes it's just an initial 'hey, we like your profile'.
Then we'll bombard you with fuck us messages |
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never winked at anyone before
but I have received a fair few of them and just ignored them as they mean nothing to me when they are used
much prefer someone just to pm us instead, like I would with them
why should I expect someone else to pm me first for a wink that ive sent at them so they can be the ice breaker in messaging me |
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"I don't really take much notice of winks, I always feel like they are just what guys send out to all women in the hope one will reply "
yes concur with you on this one, pretty much take very little notice at all of them
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't really take much notice of winks, I always feel like they are just what guys send out to all women in the hope one will reply "
mine are very deliberate and usually sent to people I know and that I've befriended or as a reply after messaging as well but getting no response to the message in reply to their wink ,if you know what I mean  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like you but I won't send a message because;
A)Your profile is mainly a list of don't so practically impossible to write a decent message to.
B) your profile is only one line long so can't think what to write
C)not quite sure I meet all your requirements, or I'm out of your age range by a year or so
D)you're really hot and the profile sounds really good and now I'm worried you'll say no and can't write a message because I keep changing it because I can't decide what to write so I'll wink instead and hope you don't just block me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I send them as a I'd meet if you were closer, if people are far away. To those close if I'm not what they're looking for but appreciated their profile. If they're close and I feel a meet is possible then I'd message them
Well i'm glad i might be right about the far away wink. And what a handsome face you have! Thanks for the response."
No problem and why thank you, you're gorgeous |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We send them as an initial indicator of interest, any we receive, we view in the same way x
Totally agree its just a easy way of saying high fancy a chat that's how a view the few I receive ."
this |
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We treated them as an expression of interest and we send a short note to say thanks for the wink and see if things develop from there. To us they are a useful, quick and simple tool to say we have read your profile and would like to know more and oh yes we read profiles carefully.
L2 |
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By *opinovMan
over a year ago
Point Nemo, Cumbria |
I don't tend to get them very often, if at all. On the very rare occasion I do, I see them as an invitation to check them out and send a message if I'm interested.
I do sometimes send one if a profile really stands out. I don't really send initial messages any more because far to many got deleted unread - I'm not keen on the copy/paste thing so I'd make quite a lot of effort for nothing, which soon got pretty dispiriting so I stopped.
A wink could a bit like a smile or a wave... or a wink, to show interest without wasting anybody's time. I think of it as meaning the same as one I might receive - ie. "I like your profile but I don't want to pester you or fill your inbox, so here I am. If your interested send one back or message me and we can take it from there." |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"We treated them as an expression of interest and we send a short note to say thanks for the wink and see if things develop from there. To us they are a useful, quick and simple tool to say we have read your profile and would like to know more and oh yes we read profiles carefully.
L2"
I don't get winks but I do the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We generally wink people we are interested in. If they wink back we message with an introduction to start a conversation.
Funny how when we get a wink, we wink back and DONT get a message. But a few days later we may get another wink from the same people!!!
It's not a winkathon!!!
Does this happen to others? Why does it happen??
Confused Mrs x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We generally wink people we are interested in. If they wink back we message with an introduction to start a conversation.
Funny how when we get a wink, we wink back and DONT get a message. But a few days later we may get another wink from the same people!!!
It's not a winkathon!!!
Does this happen to others? Why does it happen??
Confused Mrs x"
Excatly this, we never understand why people don't send a message after you wink back
Surely a wink is a sign of interest and they want to talk to you? If you wink back why don't they then send a message?
Also confused Mrs x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just see it as saying hi. There's far to many threads that say guys write in liner messages so I personally see this as a friendly wink and if the couple wink back I send a message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone winks at us we assume it's them saying we like you check us out, if we like them we wink back if not we ignore it. If we wink at someone and they wink back we send them a message it just seems to be how it works and I like it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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its an opener to view the profile back and then take it from there..never understood the fuss about sending/receiving winks...
many many many people meet through such a SIMPLE thing..because they never messaged you first doesn't mean they are lazy,shit in bed..etc. etc.
I dont see what the problem is with far off winks..some of these winks have ended up me getting to some fantastic places down south, nites/weekends of fun..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We generally wink people we are interested in. If they wink back we message with an introduction to start a conversation.
Funny how when we get a wink, we wink back and DONT get a message. But a few days later we may get another wink from the same people!!!
It's not a winkathon!!!
Does this happen to others? Why does it happen??
Confused Mrs x
Excatly this, we never understand why people don't send a message after you wink back
Surely a wink is a sign of interest and they want to talk to you? If you wink back why don't they then send a message?
Also confused Mrs x "
I've been winked loads of times and messaged with no reply ,had a few that did though you've just got to go with the flow x  |
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I see winks as a sign of interest. Say if I were to receive a wink from someone and I wink them back, that'd mean I'm interested AND would like to get into a conversation with them.
Though I notice most people don't actually take it that way.
I know most actually just expect others to message them, but how about people use what I prescribed above regarding winking as a rule of thumb in displaying interest in someone?
That way, it provides a more relaxing approach to break the ice with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see winks as a sign of interest. Say if I were to receive a wink from someone and I wink them back, that'd mean I'm interested AND would like to get into a conversation with them.
Though I notice most people don't actually take it that way.
I know most actually just expect others to message them, but how about people use what I prescribed above regarding winking as a rule of thumb in displaying interest in someone?
That way, it provides a more relaxing approach to break the ice with them. "
have you noticed the people in the allegedly more popular group categories namely women and couples are the ones who are in the main negative about winks and have you noticed how many are also negative about messaging ,the number of messages they receive and the content of the messages drive them to the negative reaction ,that's why I think the wink can draw you more easily to a person or profile you might be interested in ,you don't have to read another boring sexually fuelled message you can just check the profile concerned and wink or message back |
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We've found that it's the single women that have an issue with winks and that seems to be because single women get inundated with messages and probably winks from guys, so to make the selection process more difficult or easier depending on how you look at it they prefer the "well constructed messages"
As couples go it's also the "newbie" couples that also seem to have an issue with winks. We see winks as a virtual adaptation of the real thing. Someone winks at you usually means they fancy you, you fancy them, you wink back... SIMPLES!!! |
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"I see winks as a sign of interest. Say if I were to receive a wink from someone and I wink them back, that'd mean I'm interested AND would like to get into a conversation with them.
Though I notice most people don't actually take it that way.
I know most actually just expect others to message them, but how about people use what I prescribed above regarding winking as a rule of thumb in displaying interest in someone?
That way, it provides a more relaxing approach to break the ice with them. have you noticed the people in the allegedly more popular group categories namely women and couples are the ones who are in the main negative about winks and have you noticed how many are also negative about messaging ,the number of messages they receive and the content of the messages drive them to the negative reaction ,that's why I think the wink can draw you more easily to a person or profile you might be interested in ,you don't have to read another boring sexually fuelled message you can just check the profile concerned and wink or message back "
*Le Sigh*...If only it was that simple and easy...haha!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see winks as a sign of interest. Say if I were to receive a wink from someone and I wink them back, that'd mean I'm interested AND would like to get into a conversation with them.
Though I notice most people don't actually take it that way.
I know most actually just expect others to message them, but how about people use what I prescribed above regarding winking as a rule of thumb in displaying interest in someone?
That way, it provides a more relaxing approach to break the ice with them. have you noticed the people in the allegedly more popular group categories namely women and couples are the ones who are in the main negative about winks and have you noticed how many are also negative about messaging ,the number of messages they receive and the content of the messages drive them to the negative reaction ,that's why I think the wink can draw you more easily to a person or profile you might be interested in ,you don't have to read another boring sexually fuelled message you can just check the profile concerned and wink or message back
*Le Sigh*...If only it was that simple and easy...haha! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't wink at people. I send a message because i obviously want to talk to the person. When i receive a wink from someone hundreds of miles away i asumme it's just a "Nice profile. Happy swinging" as they're miles away. When someone close sends one i think "Wow. Too lazy to message". So, when you wink at someone, what are you saying and when someone winks at you what do you think?"
Well a wink to me means the most amazing thing. I got one out of the blue from a couple....we messaged on here...i met the lady for coffee...some days later...we met again all of us and the rest is history. A year on and we are having as much fun as we ever have and to be honest....being a regular lover is for me ultimately the best. Quality over quantity every day of the week. I still think about that day i got a wink from a couple who were only looking for couples...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I use a wink just to say, I'm interested and to see if there's any interest in return.
From what I've read most women are inundated with messages and pretty much seem to go on a profile so the wink is really just a way of saying "look at me" |
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"A wink at someone should normally mean a sign of interest.that's just common sense.If someone winks at u,and u are interested aswell,then u should wink back or message them and go from there.
What's the point messaging people in the first place when they just get deleted most of the time
Yor mesage are getting deleted for a reason so maybe you should try and find out what that i before just hitting Wink? It's clear from this thread that the majority of women don't even look at them anyway. "
That was a general statement,not personal.I do have quite a high rate of response from messages and do get winks on a daily basis aswell |
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As a couple, we tend to ignore winks. This thread has shown that they can mean so many different things to different people and it's difficult to understand the intention. If somebody winks that smokes and your profile clearly states you don't meet smokers, are they merely saying "I like your profile" or have they not even read the profile and just wink everybody?
Either way, it seems a bit pointless.
We find a well worded message gets our attention and will normally attract some sort of a reply.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We send them as an initial indicator of interest, any we receive, we view in the same way x
But not everyone looks at their winks. If you didn't get a response from one, would you then message?
Unless it stated that they don't do winks in their profile, then probably not. It's not us being lazy, just that we wouldn't like to come across as pushy x"
same for us sometimes we wink to show interest in them and let them decide if they want to reply with a message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A wink brings my attention to a profile, just like a message would, so I'll take a look and if I like them I'll wink back...I don't delete any winks though so if they want to respond again they'll have to message as you can only wink once within 30 days if the original wink is not deleted.
If I wink at someone, I want to bring their attention to my profile. As it says, if they like they can return the wink and I'll start the conversation.
I have had a few meets that started with a wink. They're just a facility the site offer, I don't think they are lazy...provided the profile has content to view and wink/reply back to! |
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