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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So, no matter how good foreplay and sex feels I find it really, really difficult to orgasm through anything. I feel quite bad about it but I never fake an orgasm, I just sometimes feel like I'm missing out. I can give myself them fine... I wondered if anyone else has had this problem or if anyone knows how to fix it? Slightly embarrassed that I'm asking this here lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Could be your trying too hard.. self esteem issues.. not turned on enough.. anxiety and a million other things.
Sex isn't always about the orgasm but what's wrong with finishing yourself off after you've had enough fun? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its the same for me, as a single male I feel pressured to make sure that the ladies (when I'm lucky enough) to be totally satisfied.
As yet since my divorce I have never ejaculated through foreplay or intercourse.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Could be your trying too hard.. self esteem issues.. not turned on enough.. anxiety and a million other things.
Sex isn't always about the orgasm but what's wrong with finishing yourself off after you've had enough fun? "
I don't think I try too hard, I'm good with all the self esteem stuff and I really do get turned on, there's a lot of evidence of that lol it's just reaching that final point I have a problem with  It isn't every single time though either which makes it more strange. And I know it isn't based on the other person because sometimes it happens with them and other times it doesn't! Grrrrr lol. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Its the same for me, as a single male I feel pressured to make sure that the ladies (when I'm lucky enough) to be totally satisfied.
As yet since my divorce I have never ejaculated through foreplay or intercourse.
"
Frustrating hey! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some times it can just be a case of not feeling totally comfortable and secure. Some people need to be able to fully relax. Reaching climax is the ultimate loss of control. We need to feel that we are able to relinquish that control and allow ourselves to be caught up in the moment x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, no matter how good foreplay and sex feels I find it really, really difficult to orgasm through anything. I feel quite bad about it but I never fake an orgasm, I just sometimes feel like I'm missing out. I can give myself them fine... I wondered if anyone else has had this problem or if anyone knows how to fix it? Slightly embarrassed that I'm asking this here lol."
Maybe you are trying too hard, putting pressure on yourself, this isn't going to help you relax.
Your not alone, it's not uncommon for some women to only be able to climax on their own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't be embarrassed, i love sex but often don't cum. It doesn't matter to me though coz i love the sex part, love feeling a guy inside of me and that is the peak of sex for me, the orgasm isn't.
If you wanna cum then maybe bring sex toys into the sex, or get comfortable playing with yourself in front of other guys (can be on cam or meets). Another thing that might help is to focus more on how much you enjoyed that sex and don't see the orgasm (which you can give yourself anyway) as the prize for fucking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are you able to cum when you play with yourself if there is some one else there?
Yeah and I have been made to by others it just isn't very often "
but if you play on your own you can cum easily? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find it quite bad that so many women dont orgasm during sex. But if you can make yourself cum than surely u could just direct your lover to do what u need to be done. I do think the key to a woman climaxing is for her to be fully relaxed and comfortable and 'free' but then I also think shock and complete uncontrol could also be the trigger for some women as lets be honest women are pretty complex beings. Personally I'm a little dissapointed if I haven't made a woman orgasm. Not all the time tho  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, no matter how good foreplay and sex feels I find it really, really difficult to orgasm through anything. I feel quite bad about it but I never fake an orgasm, I just sometimes feel like I'm missing out. I can give myself them fine... I wondered if anyone else has had this problem or if anyone knows how to fix it? Slightly embarrassed that I'm asking this here lol.
Maybe you are trying too hard, putting pressure on yourself, this isn't going to help you relax.
Your not alone, it's not uncommon for some women to only be able to climax on their own. "
this is the truth  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In relationships i cum every time with my partner, not kidding, find it easy to do then. Think sometimes it's to do with how relaxed you are around that person helps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In relationships i cum every time with my partner, not kidding, find it easy to do then. Think sometimes it's to do with how relaxed you are around that person helps."
Also you have probably developed a connection on an emotional level, I think that is important too.
The old cliche it's the difference between making love and fucking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, no matter how good foreplay and sex feels I find it really, really difficult to orgasm through anything. I feel quite bad about it but I never fake an orgasm, I just sometimes feel like I'm missing out. I can give myself them fine... I wondered if anyone else has had this problem or if anyone knows how to fix it? Slightly embarrassed that I'm asking this here lol.
Maybe you are trying too hard, putting pressure on yourself, this isn't going to help you relax.
Your not alone, it's not uncommon for some women to only be able to climax on their own. this is the truth "
I've known women play with them selves during sex to ensure they reach climax would this help. Or is it not a physical stimulation thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, no matter how good foreplay and sex feels I find it really, really difficult to orgasm through anything. I feel quite bad about it but I never fake an orgasm, I just sometimes feel like I'm missing out. I can give myself them fine... I wondered if anyone else has had this problem or if anyone knows how to fix it? Slightly embarrassed that I'm asking this here lol."
I'm the same, i find it really hard to orgasm, I can make myself cum with toys OK but to cum with somebody else I find really hard, I had my clit hood pierced because I heard so many women say how great it is and I hoped it would help but it made no difference at all
I sometimes feel really bad when guys are trying and its just not happening, I have even apologised for it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In relationships i cum every time with my partner, not kidding, find it easy to do then. Think sometimes it's to do with how relaxed you are around that person helps.
Also you have probably developed a connection on an emotional level, I think that is important too.
The old cliche it's the difference between making love and fucking"
Yeah i do enjoy sex more in a relationship, that's true.
But a few one offs i've cum with them, and a couple of regulars too. Regulars i enjoy sex with them regardless, which is why i see them again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In relationships i cum every time with my partner, not kidding, find it easy to do then. Think sometimes it's to do with how relaxed you are around that person helps.
Also you have probably developed a connection on an emotional level, I think that is important too.
The old cliche it's the difference between making love and fucking
Yeah i do enjoy sex more in a relationship, that's true.
But a few one offs i've cum with them, and a couple of regulars too. Regulars i enjoy sex with them regardless, which is why i see them again."
Maybe you just need a talented lover
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, no matter how good foreplay and sex feels I find it really, really difficult to orgasm through anything. I feel quite bad about it but I never fake an orgasm, I just sometimes feel like I'm missing out. I can give myself them fine... I wondered if anyone else has had this problem or if anyone knows how to fix it? Slightly embarrassed that I'm asking this here lol.
I'm the same, i find it really hard to orgasm, I can make myself cum with toys OK but to cum with somebody else I find really hard, I had my clit hood pierced because I heard so many women say how great it is and I hoped it would help but it made no difference at all
I sometimes feel really bad when guys are trying and its just not happening, I have even apologised for it "
I think most guys don't actually mind as long as they know you are having a nice time. Not making a lady cum isn't a failure. Not trying is tho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In relationships i cum every time with my partner, not kidding, find it easy to do then. Think sometimes it's to do with how relaxed you are around that person helps.
Also you have probably developed a connection on an emotional level, I think that is important too.
The old cliche it's the difference between making love and fucking
Yeah i do enjoy sex more in a relationship, that's true.
But a few one offs i've cum with them, and a couple of regulars too. Regulars i enjoy sex with them regardless, which is why i see them again.
Maybe you just need a talented lover
"
Maybe...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm the same, but no guy has ever complained about me getting my bullet out and helping  "
I have taken my wand on many a meet, most guys are fine with it had a few that have looked a little offended at me finishing myself off 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just find it really difficult, I'm just not very sensitive down there, for me its nothing to do with being relaxed, I need loads if stimulation before my body will even think about it
On the rare occasion I do cum from a guy playing with me its always been at the end of sex, I have never cum through penatrive sex, but its always been through oral after penatrive sex and loads of oral throughout the session
Problem is very few guys go back to licking you after a all night session when they have cum |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just find it really difficult, I'm just not very sensitive down there, for me its nothing to do with being relaxed, I need loads if stimulation before my body will even think about it
On the rare occasion I do cum from a guy playing with me its always been at the end of sex, I have never cum through penatrive sex, but its always been through oral after penatrive sex and loads of oral throughout the session
Problem is very few guys go back to licking you after a all night session when they have cum "
Then maybe a vib is the answer like some of the other ladies. Do you cum when you play on your own with a toy |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
Its more common than you think I can't comment on why you struggle .
But I can say this on average it takes 5 to 10 sexual encounters for me to reach a climax with a new partner and I'm a man it does not effect my erection or anything just I can't climax.
So Its not only a female problem men can and do suffer from this .I like you have no trouble during masturbation when alone its obvious with me a mental problem to do with trust giving I just can't let go with a new partner until I feel totally at ease .
But hay as a guy it means I'm free to really have fun as I know I'm never going to pop ruining the fun early .
The only down side to this for me was when I was a young man word got out and I had a rather rough time .
Not much help I no but hay at least you know its not only a female problem . Don't let it effect your sex life I'm sure it will happen one day with the right person and on that day I bet there will be no stopping you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to only be able to come it I touched myself at the same time as the guy was in me, and I still find it hard to come from oral if i don't get fingered at the same time. It's super common, but I used to feel really bad about it. Things change though, when I met R he put so much effort into making me feel relaxed when having sex, I had had so much pressure and other guys insecurity put onto me that I was mentally blocked about enjoying myself. I just had this feeling that I was annoying for "taking too long". There are times when I still can't come, but I think the key is in not worrying and keep trying to completely relax, just enjoying yourself, the orgasm usually comes when you don't expect it. :P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll be honest, my anxiety often gets in the way off fully letting go on a meet. It was like that a little bit in my past relationship.
It's good that you are being honest with yourself and sharing your concerns. Hopefully it might help the issue. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Totally understand what you are saying! I have met people and no matter how turned on I am I don't orgasm, i still enjoy sex but it can be frustrating because other times I find it happens easily  |
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"I just find it really difficult, I'm just not very sensitive down there, for me its nothing to do with being relaxed, I need loads if stimulation before my body will even think about it
On the rare occasion I do cum from a guy playing with me its always been at the end of sex, I have never cum through penatrive sex, but its always been through oral after penatrive sex and loads of oral throughout the session
Problem is very few guys go back to licking you after a all night session when they have cum "
I often go down on my oh after a night of sex and sometimes the next morning. I love it so does she |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some of us men have another issue to contend with 
A couple that I see regular are damn hot, sexy and gorgeous to go with it, but for some reason I have had issues rising to the occasion
A wank at home by myself works ok, just can't get over my nervousness when at the club.
Embarrassing, but doesn't stop all play, a few friends like my tongue and I also love to lick. |
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