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Kissing and swinging
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My wife thinks that kissing should be reserved for her and her only..when I on the other hand think that if I'm being sexual,passionate,endearing to the task at hand, kissing...is not only part of the whole experience..but if I'm told I can't..or that it's forbidden..that fucks up the wires between my two heads. body mind and soul. Something in me tells me that if I'm not allowed to kiss certain places like lips,than I shouldn't be kissing anything, kinda like a street whore...if I'm paying to be with somebody...my mind shuts down the dick and says NOPE! If your gonna have sex and massage and orgasms together..it's bad enough that you gotta wear a condom..don't put a bunch more rules to a good time... ...that was a rant,huh...fuck you...but not before I kiss you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's weird when I was swinging as a single fem I didn't really like the kissing. Too intimate and relationship stylie!
But since swinging now I'm in a couple, it doesn't bother me. In fact it can be quite a turn on if the guy is a good kisser.
I wonder if the thing that pisses you off the most, is the fact that you're on edge reminding yourself to hold back and not kiss, and therefore can't fully relax and enjoy the meet?? |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
In our view if you are swinging as a couple neither partner should do anything the other feels uncomfortable with. It isn't just about respecting the boundaries of the people you swing with, but respecting your partners boundaries too, whatever they are.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In our view if you are swinging as a couple neither partner should do anything the other feels uncomfortable with. It isn't just about respecting the boundaries of the people you swing with, but respecting your partners boundaries too, whatever they are.
"
Absolutely this.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In our view if you are swinging as a couple neither partner should do anything the other feels uncomfortable with. It isn't just about respecting the boundaries of the people you swing with, but respecting your partners boundaries too, whatever they are.
"
So does that mean she should respect the fact he wants to kiss or he should respect the fact she does not? |
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By *MP3Man
over a year ago
Between Scylla and Charybdis |
"I can't have sex without kissing, I enjoy the passionate feelings too much and it just feels cold as mechanical to me otherwise, I wouldn't meet anyone who didn't want to kiss me "
Exactly this |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"In our view if you are swinging as a couple neither partner should do anything the other feels uncomfortable with. It isn't just about respecting the boundaries of the people you swing with, but respecting your partners boundaries too, whatever they are.
So does that mean she should respect the fact he wants to kiss or he should respect the fact she does not?"
In my view the latter - he wants to kiss for fun which he could forego. She doesn't want him to perhaps because it makes her jealous or insecure, which is much harder to get over. I wouldn't want to do anything that made my partner feel uncomfortable however much I might enjoy it. |
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"In our view if you are swinging as a couple neither partner should do anything the other feels uncomfortable with. It isn't just about respecting the boundaries of the people you swing with, but respecting your partners boundaries too, whatever they are.
So does that mean she should respect the fact he wants to kiss or he should respect the fact she does not?
In my view the latter - he wants to kiss for fun which he could forego. She doesn't want him to perhaps because it makes her jealous or insecure, which is much harder to get over. I wouldn't want to do anything that made my partner feel uncomfortable however much I might enjoy it. "
Fully agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that the op should talk to his partner and find out why... But respect her wishes If its need be.
Mr knows I do not do well with cuddles to others or linking fingers... So tries not to do it. However with kissing I enjoy him kissing the other lady and 3 way kisses to much to say no.. although I am not overly keen on getting them myself x |
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"My wife thinks that kissing should be reserved for her and her only..when I on the other hand think that if I'm being sexual,passionate,endearing to the task at hand, kissing...is not only part of the whole experience..but if I'm told I can't..or that it's forbidden..that fucks up the wires between my two heads. body mind and soul. Something in me tells me that if I'm not allowed to kiss certain places like lips,than I shouldn't be kissing anything, kinda like a street whore...if I'm paying to be with somebody...my mind shuts down the dick and says NOPE! If your gonna have sex and massage and orgasms together..it's bad enough that you gotta wear a condom..don't put a bunch more rules to a good time... ...that was a rant,huh...fuck you...but not before I kiss you"
If your wife's wishes on this aren't as important as your desire to kiss.....go right ahead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If any member of the cpl doesnt want kissing then it should be respected as a rule and focus on what you can do rather than what your not allowed to.
If one kisses and breaks the rules then its like cheating as its not agreed by both people in the cpl and this leads to jealousy which will kill your swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Mrs. Knox here; first, thank you all for your input on this subject.
I did express to my wonderful, loving husband that I associate kissing with making love and sharing intamicy. I told him that I have no drsire to kiss anyone other than him. And I was only trying to be honest when I told him I MAY feel jealousy if he kisses another besides me.
As a rule I do not tell my husband, father of my children, provider & protecter of our family and head of our home and house what he can or can not do.
But.... I do believe if we, he or I, wanted the freedom to NOT have to consider the others thoughts and feelings on these things, we should have stayed single or maybe we should not be inviting others to join us for sex.
Also I just couldn't help but notice that in my Old Man's post, he mentioned nothing of the rules he has set forth for me that were never even considered for discussion.
But it's all fine, we have loved eachother for going on 30 years. There's no one else I would want to experience all aspects of this life with besides him.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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By theknocks
Mrs. Knox here. I expresed to my wonderful, loving husband that I associate kissing with making love and sharing intamicy. I told him that I have no drsire to kiss anyone other than him. And I was only trying to be honest when I told him I MAY feel jealousy if he kisses another besides me.
As a rule I do not tell my husband, father of my children, provider & protecter of our family and head of our home and house what he can or can not do.
But.... I do believe if we, he or I, wanted the freedom to NOT have to consider the others thoughts and feelings on these things, we should have stayed single or maybe we should not be inviting others to join us for sex.
Also I just couldn't help but notice that in my Old Man's post, he mentioned nothing of the rules he has set forth for me that were never even considered for discussion.
But it's all fine, we have loved eachother for going on 30 years. There's no one else I would want to experience all aspects of this life with besides him.
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By *easing_twoCouple
over a year ago
Bristol, Thornbury |
"In our view if you are swinging as a couple neither partner should do anything the other feels uncomfortable with. It isn't just about respecting the boundaries of the people you swing with, but respecting your partners boundaries too, whatever they are.
"
We are the same as this but couldn't play and not kiss.  |
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Hmm so this is one of our rules...he likes to see me kissing other girls but it's a no no for me to kiss a man and likewise for him to kiss a girl. He came up with that rule because even when we are on our own we fuck, we do not ever 'make love'. Occasionally I'll grab him and kiss him like after he has gone down on me or vice versa but most of the time we kiss when we are being romantic not when we are having sex. Honestly I don't think I could watch him kiss another girl and he would definitely lose his shit if I kissed another man xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you. I agree completely. My husband and I also kiss at romantic sweet times, mostly when we aren't having sex.
My old man also, though HE wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it; would go Bat-Crap-Crazy if he saw me kissing another man or staring into another man's eyes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think people are losing the point of the original post and that is that one half isn't happy with something so that should be respected. Whether a couple kiss or not is up to them... Same as if you meet or don't meet them is up to you.
If you swing as a couple then respect for each other is paramount x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We find kissing the most erotic and sensual thing we do ............. both of us get ultra turned on from kissing each other MR goes like Rock and Mrs A gets so wet ............ for that reason Mrs A is OK with kissing women but neither of us would kiss the opposite sex..... As for the single guys saying they wont meet if there is a kissing rule we have yet to arrange a meet where the guy says NO because Mrs A wont kiss him    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Together we make love , or just get down and dirty and fuck .
So if a meet is a more erotic and passionate encounter , it would be rubbish with no kissing .
And if it's just a get down and dirty meet , the kissing may not be so important , but it certainly helps create the mood for hard fucking .
But if either of us felt hurt by seeing the other kissing and looking into the eyes of a playmate , we wouldn't do it .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Kissing and fucking go together, if you're going to fuck with somebody else why not kiss too? A cock in you is more intimate than a tongue in you!"
See actually I'd disagree. Kissing is intimate fucking isn't . It's a bass primal urge. For me kissing another man doesn't turn me on... I actually in some situations find it turns me off. I have to be close to the person to enjoy kissing them... And feel secure and safe. I can suck or fuck someone without ever knowing who they are x
But this isn't about is it right or wrong to kiss. The guy asked what he should do aabout his partner not wanting him to kiss... And I'd say it is to respect her wishes x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Kissing and fucking go together, if you're going to fuck with somebody else why not kiss too? A cock in you is more intimate than a tongue in you!"
See actually I'd disagree. Kissing is intimate fucking isn't . It's a bass primal urge. For me kissing another man doesn't turn me on... I actually in some situations find it turns me off. I have to be close to the person to enjoy kissing them... And feel secure and safe. I can suck or fuck someone without ever knowing who they are x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Kissing and for that matter passion are not a reserve just for stable monogeneses marriages - us that like this lifestyle can/should also be able to express themselves and kissing is a bit part of that xx
ps; unless you have halitosis |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love kissing and it's a massive part of enjoying sex for me, I would just find it a little strange that I could not kiss the person I'm being so intimate with in every other way and enjoying all the other parts of a partners body with the exception of kissing. I love kissing and for me personally I just cant imagine having sex without it.  x
But I totally respect everyone is different and what is a turn on for one person is a complete turn off for others.
Happy swinging everyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In our view if you are swinging as a couple neither partner should do anything the other feels uncomfortable with. It isn't just about respecting the boundaries of the people you swing with, but respecting your partners boundaries too, whatever they are.
"
This.. |
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"My wife thinks that kissing should be reserved for her and her only..when I on the other hand think that if I'm being sexual,passionate,endearing to the task at hand, kissing...is not only part of the whole experience..but if I'm told I can't..or that it's forbidden..that fucks up the wires between my two heads. body mind and soul. Something in me tells me that if I'm not allowed to kiss certain places like lips,than I shouldn't be kissing anything, kinda like a street whore...if I'm paying to be with somebody...my mind shuts down the dick and says NOPE! If your gonna have sex and massage and orgasms together..it's bad enough that you gotta wear a condom..don't put a bunch more rules to a good time... ...that was a rant,huh...fuck you...but not before I kiss you"
Ohhh you need a good snog to warm the engines lol
We look at it this way, i will suck and fuck you but wont touch your lips  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think people are losing the point of the original post and that is that one half isn't happy with something so that should be respected. Whether a couple kiss or not is up to them... Same as if you meet or don't meet them is up to you.
If you swing as a couple then respect for each other is paramount x "
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While i wholeheartedly agree that the OP should respect his wife's feelings and boundaries, no kissing would be a deal breaker for me personally.
I know that some couples do indeed have such a rule and perhaps it works for them? But for a lot of other people, myself and the OP included, it's pretty much essential. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't have sex without kissing, I enjoy the passionate feelings too much and it just feels cold as mechanical to me otherwise, I wouldn't meet anyone who didn't want to kiss me "
I totally agree with this
Kissing is major part of sex for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Kissing was a definite as a single fem, but it doesn't feel 'right' now that I'm in a relationship. My views have totally changed even though I know the Mr wouldn't mind me kissing a meet one bit. |
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Some words of encouragement. Boundaries and comfort zones can change.
Although we never have imposed any rules other than condom use, my wife was a little uneasy the first time she saw me kissing another woman. But she soon grew accustomed to it and has absolutely no problem if I am passionately kissing someone else in her presence. And of course the reverse is true. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some words of encouragement. Boundaries and comfort zones can change.
Although we never have imposed any rules other than condom use, my wife was a little uneasy the first time she saw me kissing another woman. But she soon grew accustomed to it and has absolutely no problem if I am passionately kissing someone else in her presence. And of course the reverse is true."
Boundaries changed or lost/given up on?
Everybody's different of course but to me something seems a little sad about that.
When we started over a year ago with a no kissing stance, some swingers (hardened ones mostly) told us they don't get it/we'd soon change our minds and kiss like 'most' others on here.
You could almost see them wishing so hard that we'd break our boundary, even if only to say 'told you so'...
I think at our age and all the life experiences we've had, we know our own minds pretty well.
We've met many many people - singles and couples, had many fulfilling meets with them that have been repeated.
We still keep the kissing between the two of us.
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Boundaries are fluid because people find that they are comfortable with things they thought they would not be....and vice versa. People in relationships hopefully communicate and comfort levels can change over time - change both ways.
We never had a "no kiss" rule but watching me kiss another lady was something my wife found a little odd the first time. It was something she quickly got used to and certainly neither of us has ever felt a "no kiss" rule was desirable. |
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"Kissing and fucking go together, if you're going to fuck with somebody else why not kiss too? A cock in you is more intimate than a tongue in you!"
Total agreement in this corner P calls it "Pretty Woman Syndrome" |
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Respecting your partners views has to be paramount.
Wifey hates to see me kissing another woman to the point that it makes her feel sick.
I on the other hand find kissing greatly adds that spark to the encounter and without it things can feel a bit mechanical. When at a party or club we tend to play separately as much as a couple. Problem sorted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just don't enjoy kissing, so I don't do it.
If one of my partners tried to tell me I *couldn't* kiss anyone else, they'd quickly find themselves involved in a frank discussion about how jealousy doesn't have a part in our relationship, and how ownership of other peoples bodies isn't ok.
Fortunately I can't imagine myself ever having those discussions with my partners, because it would never cross their mind to lay down rules as to what they thought I could or could not do with anyone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Respecting your partners views has to be paramount.
"
Totally agree ... And for some kissing is not something they wish to share and for me far more intimate than any other sex act x |
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A few years , we had the discussion, because we weren't sure how we'd feel about kissing. But we met someone awesome, and we , we both loved it.
We try not to do anything that'll make either of us uncomfortable, we chat, or watch each others reaction  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If not already said - the other thing with kissing I think, is the fact your able to look into the womens eyes and watch her enjoy what your doing with your cock or finger etc lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sex without kissing Is Cold .  "
I totally agree, I love kissing before, during and after sex. If you don't want to kiss me on the mouth, how can you expect to kiss my pussy lips
it's personal choice but I wont meet to play if you'r not into kissing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sex without kissing Is Cold .
I totally agree, I love kissing before, during and after sex. If you don't want to kiss me on the mouth, how can you expect to kiss my pussy lips
it's personal choice but I wont meet to play if you'r not into kissing. "
Exactly that me as well would rather play with myself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yes we don't meet people that say on profile they don't kiss. I positively encourage Mrs N to kiss other men and women. It get's the juices going, doesn't it ?
Sorry OP, it just wouldn't have the right chemistry not to kiss, but at least you get to play a bit so don't knock what you have too much, It might be a cause for resentment and resentment is very bad in an open relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Resentment is bad in any relationship. Couples need to be honest with each other and any potential play mates, When I was swinging as part of a couple we met so many couples who only played to please the other half and it's just awkward for everyone involved.
I know this because my ex was all about what he wanted hence why I am now single. |
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Nothing hotter than watching V kissing and then being fucked. By a guy or a gal x
