FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Being slagged off when saying no
Being slagged off when saying no
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I am sorry about this but I had to get it off of my chest. I have quite plainly stated what I am looking for and am getting a bit fed up that when I say thanks but no thanks, I get called fatty, porky, ugly and stuff.
They obviously didn't think that when they send messages saying "hello darling, fancy meeting someone like me"?. I wont meet someone that has not even made the effort to find out anything about me.
Does anyone else get this happen and do they just block like me?. Can't help but knock my confidence a little tho. Xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have only had one person reply with a nasty retort,that was after instead of my usual no thank you reply I said did he know what can't accommodate means. I think I may have riled him a little by being condescending. The other few hundred men I've declined have all be gracious |
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Ok, they obviously do not fit your wants so on saying no, block, the tools are here to be used.
I admined on Paltalk for years and sorry to say the deal is the same.... use the tools provided. Block.
L2 |
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Fortunately I've not experienced reactions that unkind.
Their profile can be a good indicator on how well they will accept the 'no thanks' reply otherwise I block before they have a chance to reply to the refusal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont reply to a one liner message without a face pic. I just delete, dont usually hear from them again but the rare occasion when they ask why I didnt reply. I just tell them and then block |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had a few abusive messages when I've said no
The problem is because of all the rude mail I stopped sending thanks but no thanks mail so now I get rude mail because I didn't reply
You can't win  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the main thing to bear in mind is.....most guys who message don't read profiles. They look at your pics and that's about it!
So all the info on your profile will be wasted on most of them.
The block button is your friend!
It gets used a lot!
Ps your missing out if you haven't been called a f**ing lezza as well! My particular favourite  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just block anyone i'm not interested in these days. 80% of the replies i used to get back were just insecure little men venting their bile at being crap at life. It didn't upset me, it just made me realise they're not worth allowing the satisfaction they get in replying. |
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Yeah I get abuse if I do or don't reply. The last one I got said you are an ugly fat slapper anyway. I do not let it bother me. I just think of it as a bit of entertainment as it makes me chuckle how some adults can not handle rejection. |
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"I have only had one person reply with a nasty retort,that was after instead of my usual no thank you reply I said did he know what can't accommodate means. I think I may have riled him a little by being condescending. The other few hundred men I've declined have all be gracious "
Well that's good to know that the hundreds you've rejected have been gracious about it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have only had one person reply with a nasty retort,that was after instead of my usual no thank you reply I said did he know what can't accommodate means. I think I may have riled him a little by being condescending. The other few hundred men I've declined have all be gracious
Well that's good to know that the hundreds you've rejected have been gracious about it.
"
Just so you know Gordon, all single fems will get a lot of messages daily! I didn't take what she said as being derogatory! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been called a fat whale etc after saying no.....there was a few tines I thought of leaving but now I just think what tossers... And just meet the men I want to  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been called a fat whale etc after saying no.....there was a few tines I thought of leaving but now I just think what tossers... And just meet the men I want to "
I have to be honest at first I took it very personal but now if I'm bored I play with them, it can be quite fun
Next time a guy calls you a nasty name reply by saying yes I know I'm a fat whale I realised after looking at your pics (very nice by the way) that you wouldnt really be interested in me which is why I declined your offer to meet
And watch they start trying to dig their way out of that hole |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been called a fat whale etc after saying no.....there was a few tines I thought of leaving but now I just think what tossers... And just meet the men I want to
I have to be honest at first I took it very personal but now if I'm bored I play with them, it can be quite fun
Next time a guy calls you a nasty name reply by saying yes I know I'm a fat whale I realised after looking at your pics (very nice by the way) that you wouldnt really be interested in me which is why I declined your offer to meet
And watch they start trying to dig their way out of that hole "
will try that x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've never had bad responses and as a single fem I didn't. The reason being we and I blocked single males from the start. If we or I wanted them I messaged them....saves time getting lots of messages that you don't want x |
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"Never had an abusive message but that's due to the fact I don't give a "no thanks" message back. If you don't give them anything to respond to then... "
And an excellent reason for no reply=no interest=no abuse....a topic often aired with tedious regularity on the forums with guys whining about no reply when they're the ones likely to reply abusively to rejection.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a message tonight from someone who'd never messaged me before saying, could i meet up in half an hour !!!....i responded by saying, are you for real? !!!...I got one back stating I wasn't real nor were my boobs and I was being reported for being a fake ...pmsl poor soul, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have only had one person reply with a nasty retort,that was after instead of my usual no thank you reply I said did he know what can't accommodate means. I think I may have riled him a little by being condescending. The other few hundred men I've declined have all be gracious
Well that's good to know that the hundreds you've rejected have been gracious about it.
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I've been here a long time and I allow men to message me (I'm a lazy cow),therefore I get a lot of messages. My point was that I have found it very rare to be insulted by someone I said no thank you to. And I try to reply to everyone. I'm not special,any woman who hasn't blocked men will get a lot of messages and I live in a highly populated area. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I stopped replying to those I'm not interested in as I got sick of the abusive emails. Admittedly it may have only been about 5-10% that gave abuse, but it does take it's toll. Since I started just deleting I've probably had 3/4 nasty messages, which is far easier to brush off. |
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By *ugatits76Woman
over a year ago
somewhere over the rainbow |
I had a message saying I really want to meet you, your so sexy been wanting you for months and when I replied no sorry im not interested but good luck on here I got well your an old kipper anyway
haha..... a kipper??? that's a new one on me and that's without him seeing my face pics and he was older than me!!!  |
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I've had some horrible reactions to my 'no thanks' messages.
Some men cannot handle rejection and the manifest this by turning their defence into an attack.
So when they call you names or tell you to kill yourself (I had one who told me to get run over) what you should see is a very sad man and not faults within yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never had an abusive message but that's due to the fact I don't give a "no thanks" message back. If you don't give them anything to respond to then... "
We get abusive messages for not replying though so feel like you can't win x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think some people need to really just take it on the chin why the feel they have to call some one names and turn nasty is just really not called for keep and carm and have a brew |
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I always read the profile in full and I never look at the pictures until she has asked me to. I respect their privacy and modesty.
I do my best to keep my first message brief and to the point. If there is a way I can " prove " I have read the profile I use that, but sometimes this just isn't possible ( a lot just say 'fun' or something like that ).
Aside from something like that to prove I have read the profile I just say that I'm writing to break the ice and say hello. I also politely ask if they could take a look at my profile and feel free to write back if interested. I also confirm I have face pictures which I will happily send if requested to.
I often get " no thank you " messages and I always use the courtesy of thanking them for their consideration and wish them the best.
Rightly or wrongly, I can't think of another way to do it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am sorry about this but I had to get it off of my chest. I have quite plainly stated what I am looking for and am getting a bit fed up that when I say thanks but no thanks, I get called fatty, porky, ugly and stuff.
They obviously didn't think that when they send messages saying "hello darling, fancy meeting someone like me"?. I wont meet someone that has not even made the effort to find out anything about me.
Does anyone else get this happen and do they just block like me?. Can't help but knock my confidence a little tho. Xx
"
Can i take the shirt off your chest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am sorry about this but I had to get it off of my chest. I have quite plainly stated what I am looking for and am getting a bit fed up that when I say thanks but no thanks, I get called fatty, porky, ugly and stuff.
They obviously didn't think that when they send messages saying "hello darling, fancy meeting someone like me"?. I wont meet someone that has not even made the effort to find out anything about me.
Does anyone else get this happen and do they just block like me?. Can't help but knock my confidence a little tho. Xx
"
Twats, I don't mind getting knock backs as long people reply, your beautiful remember that.
My experience on here is like driving 80% theory 20% practical. x |
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You get tossers anywhere. Just try to ignore than and don't let it get to you. I had one say he hoped my kids died of cancer as I said no thanks. Looks like I made the right choice in turning him down! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been called a fat whale etc after saying no.....there was a few tines I thought of leaving but now I just think what tossers... And just meet the men I want to
I have to be honest at first I took it very personal but now if I'm bored I play with them, it can be quite fun
Next time a guy calls you a nasty name reply by saying yes I know I'm a fat whale I realised after looking at your pics (very nice by the way) that you wouldnt really be interested in me which is why I declined your offer to meet
And watch they start trying to dig their way out of that hole "
You are wicked. |
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"I am sorry about this but I had to get it off of my chest. I have quite plainly stated what I am looking for and am getting a bit fed up that when I say thanks but no thanks, I get called fatty, porky, ugly and stuff.
They obviously didn't think that when they send messages saying "hello darling, fancy meeting someone like me"?. I wont meet someone that has not even made the effort to find out anything about me.
Does anyone else get this happen and do they just block like me?. Can't help but knock my confidence a little tho. Xx
"
In seven years, being older and fatter than you I've never experienced such a message. Why? I state what I'm looking for and make ut clear I won't respond to anyone outwith what I'm looking for: and I don't!!!
If people can't be arsed to read your profile and you waste your time telling them they don't match then be prepared for the responses you get from some of the entitled.
DON'T engage with people who don't meet what you're looking for: it really is that simple.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am sorry about this but I had to get it off of my chest. I have quite plainly stated what I am looking for and am getting a bit fed up that when I say thanks but no thanks, I get called fatty, porky, ugly and stuff.
They obviously didn't think that when they send messages saying "hello darling, fancy meeting someone like me"?. I wont meet someone that has not even made the effort to find out anything about me.
Does anyone else get this happen and do they just block like me?. Can't help but knock my confidence a little tho. Xx
"
I haven't read the whole forum post so if I'm cross posting apologies!
What I need to say is it's not just the ladies that get abuse when saying no! I am always polite and respond to all but some of the responses to my no thanks not for me have been disgraceful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sarah here, I have had very similar messages when I say no thank you. Had equally on my old single profile and couple profile. I tend to block when I have told them no thank you stops the repeated messages. But no one messaging atm, very quiet on fab for us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sarah here, I have had very similar messages when I say no thank you. Had equally on my old single profile and couple profile. I tend to block when I have told them no thank you stops the repeated messages. But no one messaging atm, very quiet on fab for us. "
You are now going to be inundated |
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"I am sorry about this but I had to get it off of my chest. I have quite plainly stated what I am looking for and am getting a bit fed up that when I say thanks but no thanks, I get called fatty, porky, ugly and stuff.
They obviously didn't think that when they send messages saying "hello darling, fancy meeting someone like me"?. I wont meet someone that has not even made the effort to find out anything about me.
Does anyone else get this happen and do they just block like me?. Can't help but knock my confidence a little tho. Xx
"
Get this mainly from asian guys...
When I clearly say I'm not attracted to asian blokes
They assume I should be grateful
And I'm the whore that's on here...
Was good enough for you to message me in the first place...
Grow up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am sorry about this but I had to get it off of my chest. I have quite plainly stated what I am looking for and am getting a bit fed up that when I say thanks but no thanks, I get called fatty, porky, ugly and stuff.
They obviously didn't think that when they send messages saying "hello darling, fancy meeting someone like me"?. I wont meet someone that has not even made the effort to find out anything about me.
Does anyone else get this happen and do they just block like me?. Can't help but knock my confidence a little tho. Xx
Get this mainly from asian guys...
When I clearly say I'm not attracted to asian blokes
They assume I should be grateful
And I'm the whore that's on here...
Was good enough for you to message me in the first place...
Grow up "
Very disrespectful....im honestly at a loss as to why anyone would send these types of messages...but in a way..good job there true colours came out first  |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
We've never had a rude message on here, have always found people to be polite and gracious.
The closest thing we got was one lady replying with '???' when we declined her offer to meet as she wasn't for us, but you couldn't really say that's rude. |
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"I've had a few abusive messages when I've said no
The problem is because of all the rude mail I stopped sending thanks but no thanks mail so now I get rude mail because I didn't reply
You can't win "
^^^^^^ this  |
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"You get tossers anywhere. Just try to ignore than and don't let it get to you. I had one say he hoped my kids died of cancer as I said no thanks. Looks like I made the right choice in turning him down!"
What????
What kind of sick, deranged bastard says something like that???
I am literally feeling ill now.
I'm so sorry you were put through that, truly, I am x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am sorry about this but I had to get it off of my chest. I have quite plainly stated what I am looking for and am getting a bit fed up that when I say thanks but no thanks, I get called fatty, porky, ugly and stuff.
They obviously didn't think that when they send messages saying "hello darling, fancy meeting someone like me"?. I wont meet someone that has not even made the effort to find out anything about me.
Does anyone else get this happen and do they just block like me?. Can't help but knock my confidence a little tho. Xx
"
think we all get it..they are all do you wanna get it on amd when you say no they say a fatty.like you should be grateful of the offer!! i tend to not worry now but did used to upset mex |
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By *km45Man
over a year ago
UTTOXETER |
I would never dream of sending an abusive message if I got a reply saying not interested etc. I just reply thank you for your time. I'm one of the few nice guys.
We all have the right to decide who we like and make choices. If you don't like it tough and move on.
If I got an abusive message I would block that person. End off. |
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"I would never dream of sending an abusive message if I got a reply saying not interested etc. I just reply thank you for your time. I'm one of the few nice guys.
We all have the right to decide who we like and make choices. If you don't like it tough and move on.
Absolutely right thing to do. I feel much happier knowing I made that effort.
If I got an abusive message I would block that person. End off. "
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I don't think you will ever win with this, because some guys will always take it graciously, others cannot handle rejection of any sort, whether it a polite 'no thanks' or a simple deletion with no reply. Unfortunately its life on fab - at least you know you made the right choice in rejecting them.
For me, if I get a polite no thanks, I will likely send something thanking them for letting me know, but I am equally happy to see that a message has been read and deleted, because I know where I stand straight away. I don't even check to see if I have been blocked, I just accept I am not for them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Many things to consider, guys don't read profiles fully, also copy and paste a standard first message because so few women will respond. Not all men have the time to write an individual message to each woman, no more than a female has to read all profiles. If a woman gets 50 messages a day, is she going to study the details of the said profile?
Its just mathematics, women have so much choice here, I accept that, so I am never rude following rejection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had men tell me the nastiest stuff yet they're still here, on the site, messaging other women. Had one recently tell me it was his right as a man to be on here and that i was a whore and it was a mans world and his right to take sex. He's still here too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am sorry about this but I had to get it off of my chest. I have quite plainly stated what I am looking for and am getting a bit fed up that when I say thanks but no thanks, I get called fatty, porky, ugly and stuff.
They obviously didn't think that when they send messages saying "hello darling, fancy meeting someone like me"?. I wont meet someone that has not even made the effort to find out anything about me.
Does anyone else get this happen and do they just block like me?. Can't help but knock my confidence a little tho. Xx
"
I get it as well, as first I used to get upset. Now I block, if there that nasty it goes to show there not nice people....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not totally suprised a few take rejection badly but a bit shocked that people get abusive how very sad and childish as its an adults site man up! Take it on the chin and move on guys shoe on other foot if it was your wife or girlfriend how would you feel if someone gave her abuse sorry rant over x |
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We take it with a pinch of salt and move on. Usually we get abused then blocked. Funny when the same people unblock us and try again.
Although we drew the line at the "hope you get aids and die " response. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We take it with a pinch of salt and move on. Usually we get abused then blocked. Funny when the same people unblock us and try again.
Although we drew the line at the "hope you get aids and die " response. "
Omg
That is terrible!  I'm so shocked somebody as actually sad that...
There's some weird people about.
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to get some on my single profile but now im on a couples profile not a peep of rudeness at all. I just used to report and block depending on what was said.
Doll x |
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