FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Emotional attachment after sex

Emotional attachment after sex

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Just your personal experiences guys ,is it just me but it seems I have a weakness when it comes to my emotions after a sexual encounter

I tend to start some sort of connection , which I honestly don't want , after a sexual encounter .

It's worse if its unprotected , I could even fall in love

, that's why I never do it skin to skin.

What are your experiences guys , please be honest .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not many guys have this effect on me, no.

But there have been a few meets where i felt like this about them, only one i actually considered having a relationship with coz he said he felt the same.

I've separated sex from love in my head. Some guys i've been seeing regular since i joined here and don't have emotional feelings for them in that way, although i care they're ok and stuff like that.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just your personal experiences guys ,is it just me but it seems I have a weakness when it comes to my emotions after a sexual encounter

I tend to start some sort of connection , which I honestly don't want , after a sexual encounter .

It's worse if its unprotected , I could even fall in love

, that's why I never do it skin to skin.

What are your experiences guys , please be honest ."

Words fail me on so many levels

Your on the wrong site in my opinion.

Definition of a swinger:-

"Swinger

A person who has un-planned sexual encounters with numerous people who they are not dating and do not intend to date.

A person can be a swinger while single and faithful while in a relationship.

On the other hand, there are some people who continue to swing even while in relationships."

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just your personal experiences guys ,is it just me but it seems I have a weakness when it comes to my emotions after a sexual encounter

I tend to start some sort of connection , which I honestly don't want , after a sexual encounter .

It's worse if its unprotected , I could even fall in love

, that's why I never do it skin to skin.

What are your experiences guys , please be honest ."

In all honesty I separate it completely when I'm on a meet, sure I may think about the few odd ones (I don't mean odd ones, you know!) afterwards but generally it's 'fuck and go' for me.

However there was one guy I did find myself thinking about more than I should; well actually two but one was the one that got away and the other we got on so well it was untrue, I've cut all ties with them now. Not good!! Now I just stick to my rules!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I totally understand how sometimes its easy to grow an emotional attraction to someone and even more so after you both are intimate - however there are a couple of things I see wrong here;

1. BB sex and falling "in love" after sex, are not linked - that's a choice you both make at that time

2. Are you saying that every time you have sex, you fall in love ?? if that's the case your life must be dead complicated lol

Happy Fabbing

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I totally understand how sometimes its easy to grow an emotional attraction to someone.....Are you saying that every time you have sex, you fall in love ?? if that's the case your life must be dead complicated lol

Happy Fabbing "

No , hell no , I was talking about a few times it's happened, not EVERY time

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Happy Fabbing

No , hell no , I was talking about a few times it's happened, not EVERY time

Only goes to show that I should read who the op is, I assumed you were a woman!! Lol

I didn't think blokes thought like that to be honest!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I feel different emotions with different men. I like sex with men I have a strong emotional connection with,the sex is better. It doesn't mean I want anything more than sex with them. I don't get anything from meet,fuck and forget sex.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Happy Fabbing

No , hell no , I was talking about a few times it's happened, not EVERY time

Only goes to show that I should read who the op is, I assumed you were a woman!! Lol

I didn't think blokes thought like that to be honest!!"

Oi cheeky bum - we men can be passionate you know and with you lovely women out there its sometimes hard not to become attached

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just your personal experiences guys ,is it just me but it seems I have a weakness when it comes to my emotions after a sexual encounter

I tend to start some sort of connection , which I honestly don't want , after a sexual encounter .

It's worse if its unprotected , I could even fall in love

, that's why I never do it skin to skin.

What are your experiences guys , please be honest .

Words fail me on so many levels

Your on the wrong site in my opinion.

Definition of a swinger:-

"Swinger

A person who has un-planned sexual encounters with numerous people who they are not dating and do not intend to date.

A person can be a swinger while single and faithful while in a relationship.

On the other hand, there are some people who continue to swing even while in relationships." "

I don't think he's on the wrong site just because he feels a close connection to someone after sex. There are people on here who aren't having any sex. I don't define myself by what someone else has written on a website or try to fit into a definition. I'm not a swinger; I'm having a whale of a time with other people who use this site.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Happy Fabbing

No , hell no , I was talking about a few times it's happened, not EVERY time

Only goes to show that I should read who the op is, I assumed you were a woman!! Lol

I didn't think blokes thought like that to be honest!!

Oi cheeky bum - we men can be passionate you know and with you lovely women out there its sometimes hard not to become attached

Who you calling cheeky bum!! That's you ! X

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Depends on the type and level of play, there is emotions, however not in an attached way, well I wouldn't frame and label them as attached.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Happy Fabbing

No , hell no , I was talking about a few times it's happened, not EVERY time

Only goes to show that I should read who the op is, I assumed you were a woman!! Lol

I didn't think blokes thought like that to be honest!!

Oi cheeky bum - we men can be passionate you know and with you lovely women out there its sometimes hard not to become attached

Who you calling cheeky bum!! That's you ! X"

ok I let you off lol

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I feel different emotions with different men. I like sex with men I have a strong emotional connection with,the sex is better. It doesn't mean I want anything more than sex with them. I don't get anything from meet,fuck and forget sex. "

Same for me, I need a good connection to have sex. No interest in random 1 offs. Iv a few good friends from here, some that are now too good a friend to take any further.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ery curious maleMan over a year ago

Bishop Auckland

Can honestly say no it doesn't happen to me. Someone told me many years ago that swinging is just recreational sex and I treat it as such.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It can be easy to blur the lines between lust n love sometimes

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Same for me, I need a good connection to have sex. No interest in random 1 offs. Iv a few good friends from here, some that are now too good a friend to take any further.

I started off with a few one offs and quickly realised it's not for me. I have met some lovely men who I've seen a few times and then life dictates that we can't see each other any more. I still remember the fantastic sex we had. If swinging is about fuck and forget I could never be a swinger. I don't want a boyfriend or even a friend but I like erotic,sensual,memorable sex.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

multiple partners with affection and love is fine, its the expectations of something else, that usually get people into emotional trouble..

think of it as poly...not swinging..

i dont think you are on the wrong site, i think you may have to change your perspective about what you want, or what you feel a relationship is, that's all.

and yes, despite what other people say, you have an energetic body, which, if playing skin on skin can enhance empathy and connection, how you interpret that, into thoughts and emotions, is highly subjective. You seem to translate it, as the 'falling in love feeling'

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"multiple partners with affection and love is fine..............

i dont think you are on the wrong site ....despite what other people say, you have an energetic body, which, if playing skin on skin can enhance empathy and connection, how you interpret that, into thoughts and emotions, is highly subjective. You seem to translate it, as the 'falling in love feeling'"

Wow ,you sounded more like a physiologist there , I was starting to meditate

Seriously though , I do think you can rule out the emotions , after all , 80% of profiles here are looking for some fuck buddy so yea , I am sure the bang and go group are in the minority.

I still think I am a bit weak emotionally , somehow , that's why I am more into parties and clubs than one to ones , it reduces the emotion drastically .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"80% of profiles here are looking for some fuck buddy."

Interesting statistic. Completely wrong, but still interesting

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"multiple partners with affection and love is fine..............

Wow ,you sounded more like a physiologist there , I was starting to meditate

Seriously though , I do think you can rule out the emotions , after all , 80% of profiles here are looking for some fuck buddy so yea , I am sure the bang and go group are in the minority.

I still think I am a bit weak emotionally , somehow , that's why I am more into parties and clubs than one to ones , it reduces the emotion drastically .

who says im not? i know about empathy and sensitivity and how to live with it...i can do either, i was suggesting that if you know yourself better, and be aware that, such activities can bring on unwanted feelings, to give you the opportunity of examining that possibility for yourself..sometimes knowledge is power..

all the labels don't mean anything..'interrelations' platonic or otherwise, is what the world runs on..managing yourself through all the different forms, to find out what suits you, in my opinion, is life...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rs TootyWoman over a year ago

Ayrshire

With my current partner there is more of a connection than just nsa.

He leaves me with a 'down' feeling after it for the next day or so. Which leaves me craving him.

I've came to understand it's not about falling in love, it's about a connection between us that's more than just sex.

I don't get that feeling a lot. When I find that connection tho, the sex is better, yes I have feelings of lust and sometimes I love but it's realising the difference of not being in love with him but yes, loving him.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"With my current partner there is more of a connection than just nsa.

He leaves me with a 'down' feeling after it for the next day or so. Which leaves me craving him........

Looks like it's more than just sex there

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Happy Fabbing

No , hell no , I was talking about a few times it's happened, not EVERY time

Only goes to show that I should read who the op is, I assumed you were a woman!! Lol

I didn't think blokes thought like that to be honest!!"

Yeah we do - as hard as we try sometimes not to!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *aneandpaulCouple over a year ago

cleveleys

We met a guy years ago he started to have strong feelings so we put a stop to it took ages to get rid of him had to be cruel to be kind its just sex with us and love when its just us 2

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

".....I know about empathy and sensitivity and how to live with it........the labels don't mean anything..'interrelations' platonic or otherwise, is what the world runs on..managing yourself through all the different forms, to find out what suits you, in my opinion, is life..."

I am learning a lot here , I guess I should book a session or two with you and teach me more of this plutonic stuff

Honestly speaking , I always thought swingers were some sex addicts , nymphomaniacs ...etc until I started reading some stuff from these forums and meeting people in clubs and that all changed. It's all sorts of people on here , me included

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

I have sex with people I have a connection with, I've never got strongly attatched to someone because I've had sex with them.

The way I read the thread it sounds as though it's more than a connection thing and that you develop strong emotions. No, never happened to me in my entire life, thought I was weird as a kid but when I found swinging per sa it was wonderful to find people like me that could completly separate sex and emotions.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"........you develop strong emotions. No, never happened to me in my entire life, thought I was weird as a kid but when I found swinging per sa it was wonderful to find people like me that could completly separate sex and emotions."

Wow

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rs TootyWoman over a year ago

Ayrshire

It is more than sex but there's a difference between loving and being in love

"With my current partner there is more of a connection than just nsa.

He leaves me with a 'down' feeling after it for the next day or so. Which leaves me craving him........

Looks like it's more than just sex there

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I once played with a couple for eight years. I now have a couple I play with weekly for nearly a year. I have a couple of single ladies who I have met on more than one occasion. I'm not sure I have ever felt emotional towards any of them, as I realise it is just nsa fun. We are good friends and that's as far as it goes.

I'm not sure many husbands would be enthralled, knowing you feel an emotional attachment to their wives!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"..............

I'm not sure many husbands would be enthralled, knowing you feel an emotional attachment to their wives!"

I understand , that's why I am not expecting a lot to join the debate coz it's quite tricky , especially if you are a couple , how do you own up?

But it does not hide away some hard painful facts , where there is sex , there is emotions and unless you are willing to accept these facts then don't allow your partner to swing , simples

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"..............

I'm not sure many husbands would be enthralled, knowing you feel an emotional attachment to their wives!

I understand , that's why I am not expecting a lot to join the debate coz it's quite tricky , especially if you are a couple , how do you own up?

But it does not hide away some hard painful facts , where there is sex , there is emotions and unless you are willing to accept these facts then don't allow your partner to swing , simples "
that's ridiculous, just because you get emotionally attached why would you think others do

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Everyone seems to fall for me lol

And noooo I do not do bb

I only fell for one person and he and I ended up together

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

Never.......

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Shagged loads and never fell for anyone

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't 'fall' for people (as in fall in love) but there are some that I feel a real connection to at an emotional level after we've played. It's those ones that I have ended up being friends with and seeing more often. It's pretty human to have some emotion involved, even in this lifestyle.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"..............

I'm not sure many husbands would be enthralled, knowing you feel an emotional attachment to their wives!

I understand , that's why I am not expecting a lot to join the debate coz it's quite tricky , especially if you are a couple , how do you own up?

But it does not hide away some hard painful facts , where there is sex , there is emotions and unless you are willing to accept these facts then don't allow your partner to swing , simples "

I don't accept those facts because quite simply they aren't facts. You might feel emotionally attached to the people that you have sex, with because of the way you think of sex and what it means to you but that doesn't mean the rest of us do. If you're searching for emotional attachment you will often mistake physical intimacy for it though.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

OK, OK , OK fine , I get it , calm down , everyone is different , OK....was just looking for opinions here, that's all really , no stress , no biggie.

Happy fabbing

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"OK, OK , OK fine , I get it , calm down , everyone is different , OK....was just looking for opinions here, that's all really , no stress , no biggie.

Happy fabbing

You're getting opinions, are you telling us to calm down because they're different to yours?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ittle missnaughtyWoman over a year ago

Doncaster

"With my current partner there is more of a connection than just nsa.

He leaves me with a 'down' feeling after it for the next day or so. Which leaves me craving him.

I've came to understand it's not about falling in love, it's about a connection between us that's more than just sex.

Wow...you sound just like me with a guy I met off here. We have deep connection and it leaves me feeling down and wanting him more.

Don't get that with anyone else.

Doesn't stop me swinging with others and dont get connected with them in that way either

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I must be dead inside. When I'm with someone I'm 100% into it all - socially and chatting, eye contact, stroking, close physical contact and sex and cuddles and comedown.....then I can just walk away. No emotional involvement.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have only ever had inappropriate feelings towards one guy I've met in all the years I've been doing this

As a rule it's just sex, most of my meets are one offs, a few I do re meets with but with this one guy I just really fell for him

I meet him several times but he just made me feel the way nobody has ever made me feel before, i used to get really excited and get butterfly's when I was due to meet him (pathetic I know) then I'd feel a bit sad when we went our separate ways after

I knew it had to come to an end so I messages him after the last time we met telling him I didn't want to meet him anymore, I was really sad when I hit the send button I could have cried (again pathetic I know

)

He messaged me asking if he had don't something to upset me I just said no I just felt it was time to move in, he mailed me a few times after but I just ignored him and eventually he stopped

It really saddened me to do that but I knew I had to or I'd just get hurt

I still to this day have no idea why I let myself feel like that as its really out of character for me as a rule I don't feel emotional connected to guys I have sex with

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I must be dead inside. When I'm with someone I'm 100% into it all - socially and chatting, eye contact, stroking, close physical contact and sex and cuddles and comedown.....then I can just walk away. No emotional involvement. "
bloody hell Stevie boy you said it so much better than me

and I would think there is more people on here that are like that than not

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have only ever had inappropriate feelings towards one guy I've met in all the years I've been doing this

As a rule it's just sex, most of my meets are one offs, a few I do re meets with but with this one guy I just really fell for him

)

He messaged me asking if he had don't something to upset me I just said no I just felt it was time to move in, he mailed me a few times after but I just ignored him and eventually he stopped

It really saddened me to do that but I knew I had to or I'd just get hurt

I still to this day have no idea why I let myself feel like that as its really out of character for me as a rule I don't feel emotional connected to guys I have sex with "

Ahhhhh, I feel sorry for the guy

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have only ever had inappropriate feelings towards one guy I've met in all the years I've been doing this

As a rule it's just sex, most of my meets are one offs, a few I do re meets with but with this one guy I just really fell for him

)

He messaged me asking if he had don't something to upset me I just said no I just felt it was time to move in, he mailed me a few times after but I just ignored him and eventually he stopped

It really saddened me to do that but I knew I had to or I'd just get hurt

I still to this day have no idea why I let myself feel like that as its really out of character for me as a rule I don't feel emotional connected to guys I have sex with

Ahhhhh, I feel sorry for the guy

Oh no i didn't tell him I wouldn't do that to somebody I met for no strings sex

I just said i felt it was time to move on

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I must be dead inside. When I'm with someone I'm 100% into it all - socially and chatting, eye contact, stroking, close physical contact and sex and cuddles and comedown.....then I can just walk away. No emotional involvement. bloody hell Stevie boy you said it so much better than me

and I would think there is more people on here that are like that than not"
I'd hope so. It's easier all round. When I'm with someone it's like their the only person(s) in my life at that time but it doesn't last. I think about my meets a lot and it's totally fantastic fun and experience but nothing like jealousy if they have sex with someone else.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just your personal experiences guys ,is it just me but it seems I have a weakness when it comes to my emotions after a sexual encounter

It's just chemistry dude, endorphins the look into someone's eyes as they reach orgasm and all defences are down, you would have to be a hard hearted bugger not to feel something from all those chemicals attacking your brain.

For me it can be intense love that burns bright and fades as the orgasm dies away.

Friggin 'ell I turned into a poet... get yer arse home L I am going soft in the head without you

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

bloody hell Stevie boy you said it so much better than me

and I would think there is more people on here that are like that than not I'd hope so.

It's easier all round. When I'm with someone it's like their the only person(s) in my life at that time but it doesn't last. I think about my meets a lot and it's totally fantastic fun and experience but nothing like jealousy if they have sex with someone else. "

No room for jealousy in this game

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just your personal experiences guys ,is it just me but it seems I have a weakness when it comes to my emotions after a sexual encounter

I tend to start some sort of connection , which I honestly don't want , after a sexual encounter .

It's worse if its unprotected , I could even fall in love

, that's why I never do it skin to skin.

What are your experiences guys , please be honest ."

Wow I must be a cold hearted cunt!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I must be dead inside. When I'm with someone I'm 100% into it all - socially and chatting, eye contact, stroking, close physical contact and sex and cuddles and comedown.....then I can just walk away. No emotional involvement. bloody hell Stevie boy you said it so much better than me

and I would think there is more people on here that are like that than not I'd hope so. It's easier all round. When I'm with someone it's like their the only person(s) in my life at that time but it doesn't last. I think about my meets a lot and it's totally fantastic fun and experience but nothing like jealousy if they have sex with someone else. "

Same here, we have a lot of fun get along like a house on fire, even wonder how they're getting along but no long term emotional attachment formed.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Must admit I'm a big soft sod so not sure how much longer I'll be on here!

I adore great sex, the forums and the social side - but I'm not always great at the 'nsa' part - so to protect myself I rarely see anyone many times! Xx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've had a few experiences where I've been very guilty of this , sometimes there is some kinda hippy cosmic clic that happens .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must admit I'm a big soft sod so not sure how much longer I'll be on here!

I adore great sex, the forums and the social side - but I'm not always great at the 'nsa' part - so to protect myself I rarely see anyone many times! Xx"

This

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

One woman we actually decided not to have sex anymore and we have been best friends for the last 3 years .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I must be dead inside. When I'm with someone I'm 100% into it all - socially and chatting, eye contact, stroking, close physical contact and sex and cuddles and comedown.....then I can just walk away. No emotional involvement. bloody hell Stevie boy you said it so much better than me

and I would think there is more people on here that are like that than not"

Absolutely...NSA and never any emotional attachment, even with the guys I meet repeatedly. Doesn't always work both ways unfortunately

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I must be dead inside. When I'm with someone I'm 100% into it all - socially and chatting, eye contact, stroking, close physical contact and sex and cuddles and comedown.....then I can just walk away. No emotional involvement. bloody hell Stevie boy you said it so much better than me

and I would think there is more people on here that are like that than not

Absolutely...NSA and never any emotional attachment, even with the guys I meet repeatedly. Doesn't always work both ways unfortunately

I'm sort of quite pleased it's not just me. In fact, if the ladies I have had sex with didn't have sex with other people, I would feel uncomfortable with that. I don't want to be the only one. I want to be one amongst quite a few.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Must admit I'm a big soft sod so not sure how much longer I'll be on here!

I adore great sex, the forums and the social side - but I'm not always great at the 'nsa' part - so to protect myself I rarely see anyone many times! Xx"

I understand , that's why I do clubbing and don't have many pictures on my profile coz they don't allow pictures in clubs. This NSA is not for everyone especially if you start to know them at a more personal level , still don't get the "no emotion" stuff to be honest , maybe I am just different .

There might be no emotion but surely there must be some attraction , and that in itself is emotion , I'd be really surprised if you can just shag where there is no emotion , no attraction , nothing, well , I have done it a few times but usually I was like 100% pissed

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must admit I'm a big soft sod so not sure how much longer I'll be on here!

I adore great sex, the forums and the social side - but I'm not always great at the 'nsa' part - so to protect myself I rarely see anyone many times! Xx

To some people, sex IS the emotion. A sexual emotion, no more no less.

Once you get the handle on that, the nsa part comes pretty easily.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Interesting, only once did this happened it and it was during a random suprise snog with some girl I know. She sort of felt the same but it didn't go any further then that as she was being a total timewaster in the end.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think you are confusing sexual connection for an emotional one. However, do you feel this during the act or long times after?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must admit I'm a big soft sod so not sure how much longer I'll be on here!

I adore great sex, the forums and the social side - but I'm not always great at the 'nsa' part - so to protect myself I rarely see anyone many times! Xx

I understood the OP to mean he developed emotional attachments after his sexual encounters.

And there's a world of difference between finding someone physically and mentally attractive and having great sex with them (without involving emotions beyond a happy 'that was fantastic, let's hook up again sometime!') and d*unken one-night regrets

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/09/15 18:13:07]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think you are confusing sexual connection for an emotional one. However, do you feel this during the act or long times after? "

I feel it before and after , but if I don't contact them for a while , like a week , it fizzles . I have a vivid memory of everyone I have shagged.

Basically , there has to be some attraction before the action ,either way .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just your personal experiences guys ,is it just me but it seems I have a weakness when it comes to my emotions after a sexual encounter

I tend to start some sort of connection , which I honestly don't want , after a sexual encounter .

It's worse if its unprotected , I could even fall in love

, that's why I never do it skin to skin.

What are your experiences guys , please be honest ."

Know exactly were your coming from pal..

Happened a couple of times over the years. Hard not to have that emotional connection once you start enjoying eachothers company.. Its a hard one.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

With some guys we've met I have become friends and do like to keep in touch but never more than friends with some great benefits!

I can't imagine ever feeling that way about anyone other than Clarence!

When we first came on here we said it would just be 'fuck and go' and only meet them once, but I found that difficult, I like to build up a friendship and if there's chemistry there then the meet is amazing!

We have made a couple of great friends x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *arry247Couple over a year ago

Wakefield

No just pure sex no emotional attachment afterwards but no holds barred deep sex during

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I like to get to know someone, I think it makes for better sex. I might grow very fond of them as friends but that's always as far as it will go

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *.LBCouple over a year ago

South

Happy Fabbing

No , hell no , I was talking about a few times it's happened, not EVERY time

Fuck me you shagged my misses twice

Glad you didn't bareback her would be cooking my own tea tonight

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *.LBCouple over a year ago

South

"I think you are confusing sexual connection for an emotional one. I have a vivid memory of everyone I have shagged."

I got a vivid memory too

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I have only ever had inappropriate feelings towards one guy I've met in all the years I've been doing this

As a rule it's just sex, most of my meets are one offs, a few I do re meets with but with this one guy I just really fell for him

)

He messaged me asking if he had don't something to upset me I just said no I just felt it was time to move in, he mailed me a few times after but I just ignored him and eventually he stopped

It really saddened me to do that but I knew I had to or I'd just get hurt

I still to this day have no idea why I let myself feel like that as its really out of character for me as a rule I don't feel emotional connected to guys I have sex with "

Why did you 'know' you would get hurt?

I do get emotionally involved sometimes but there are very few people I like enough for it to happen, I find it hard to find someone I *want* to get entangled with!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think you are confusing sexual connection for an emotional one. I have a vivid memory of everyone I have shagged.

I got a vivid memory too

Looks like I did a very good job

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Happy Fabbing

No , hell no , I was talking about a few times it's happened, not EVERY time

Fuck me you shagged my misses twice

Glad you didn't bareback her would be cooking my own tea tonight

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *helbeeCouple over a year ago

Nuneaton

i can safely say i keep my emotions in check i know its just nsa. an thats all i seek is nsa. nothing more maybe friendship

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bunny boiler

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This happened to me once on here,wasn't led on in any way at all.

A heady cocktail of attraction,lust and passion mixed in with a dose of wishful thinking on my part n boom! Had to take a step back n put the brakes on it before it turned into a proper train wreck.

However,it was a valuable lesson learned and we did manage to part on good terms.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *uckandbunnyCouple over a year ago

In your bed

We really like the people we meet.

And of course we find them hot.

But nothing more than that.

Similar to how I have friends at work and some of them maybe hot, but it does not make them anymore emotionally connected to me.

I would have no more emotional connection to attractive friends than I would to other friends who I'm not attracted to.

Sex has no bearing on my emotions to someone. I'd love my wife whether she fucked me or not.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"................ I'd love my wife whether she fucked me or not."

ummmmm, really

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"With my current partner there is more of a connection than just nsa.

He leaves me with a 'down' feeling after it for the next day or so. Which leaves me craving him.

I've came to understand it's not about falling in love, it's about a connection between us that's more than just sex.

Totally get this!!!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't have this problem, they are just a mate to play with

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Depends how good a cook they are.

If you make me a good meal after I'm yours

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just your personal experiences guys ,is it just me but it seems I have a weakness when it comes to my emotions after a sexual encounter

I tend to start some sort of connection , which I honestly don't want , after a sexual encounter .

It's worse if its unprotected , I could even fall in love

, that's why I never do it skin to skin.

What are your experiences guys , please be honest ."

That's the only reason why you go unprotected!??

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is my 3rd time on this site and I have to admit when I first started I developed feelings towards those people , not all, that I'd met, like we had some sort of connection that would spill over into normal life without any drama .

Now back again, I have developed a complete disdain for those people and a very low level of respect after looking at some of the photos they've posted or the verifications.

It's a great leveller and makes me even more selective

Plus I'm now totally devoid of any emotion to those I have sex with

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *cottishsexgoddessWoman over a year ago

Glenrothes

I have a friend on here I've been seeing since I originally joined five years ago and there is an emotional connection as well as physical. However, I think the reason it works so well is because we have lives outside of Fab and only meet for fun. To even consider anything more would spoil it, in my opinion. I get the best of both worlds and I don't have to clean up after him nor him me lol.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nleashedCrakenMan over a year ago

Widnes

Sex and emotions have evolved over millions of years to provide the best possible chance of producing offspring and that offspring surviving.

It's not surprising that either one can lead to the other.

For me in most cases I prefer to have sex with someone I know and like, if I have an emotional contact with them also then that tends to make the sex even better.

However I also quite like the freedom of unemotional sex in some of the clubs sometimes.

I guess it depends how I feel at the time but, while I definitely don't want an exclusive monogamous relationship I wouldn't like to think that I'd never have emotional sex ever again in my life. I think the thought of that would make me feel quite sad.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

This!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What a horrible cold world it would be where people feel no emotion after such an intimate experience x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I need a connection to have sex, otherwise what's the difference between sex and a wank? You certainly don't consider how to make your hand feel better

So there's going to some emotion involved and if you see someone for sex lots, that emotion may grow into something else, especially if you aren't satisfying that emotional need already.

Plus, some people are just better at compartmentalisation than others, while others launch into every relationship with everything they have.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

Personally I can't have sex with someone I don't like at least a little bit. But I can separate sex from love.

So I may like a guy, and fancy him to death, but won't get emotionally attached.

On the other hand, I have made a friend on here, that I have never played with, but have an emotional attachment to him in the form of caring for a true friend. We've been friends for nearly 3 years now so I think that's natural.

Then, occasionally you meet someone and they treat you so well and you feel like you've already known them and some emotion comes into it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just your personal experiences guys ,is it just me but it seems I have a weakness when it comes to my emotions after a sexual encounter

I tend to start some sort of connection , which I honestly don't want , after a sexual encounter .

It's worse if its unprotected , I could even fall in love

, that's why I never do it skin to skin.

What are your experiences guys , please be honest ."

If they make me a bacon and egg sandwich with hp sauce and a cup of tea then I'm all in

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I never have unprotected sex on here so skin on skin makes no difference to me.

I have fallen in lust with the occasional person but I know that it is simply lust and nothing more. When this happens the sex is amazing and I crave seeing that person...it hasn't happened for a long while though

There are men I have seen semi regularly and I do grow to like them and we become friends. If we become too good friends it ruins the sex for me...it's a tough balancing act

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I do have a semi regular fwb we have a awesome connection we clicked on our first meet at a pub on a summers evening sat out in the garden.ll it just felt so right we were both relaxed and comfortable with each other chatting away about this and that... Our first kiss sealed the deal...me knowing... I want more of him... Two months on we are very close fwb it is hard not too get emotionally attached... Theirs a very thin line between love and lust.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *eliciouslyNastyMan over a year ago

London

Unemotional sex = unpassionate sex

I spent most of my 20s working in Asia and the USA.

And in the beginning I took full advantage of it... On the top floor of one hotel, my old boss and myself enjoyed a party with 20 women.

On my first day I was drinking with my boss and a Swiss guy, who later that evening on my way to the hotel room I passed with 2 women and he invited me to join them... I said no.

Nothing comes close to being an ex-pat abroad. The mixture of huge amounts of money in comparison to the locals, local women looking for a foreigner and other workaholic ex-pat women in need of sex and bored out of their minds....

This perfect storm means you can live like a Roman... But....

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *eliciouslyNastyMan over a year ago

London

After a couple of years and as I got older I stopped enjoying it...

Sex got boring, I would rather do anything else, even work was more fun.

Then I found a woman who ignited me, we knew we just had a few months together, but we hung out and fucked like we needed it!

This allowed us to experiment, enjoy, relax and it totally changed my outlook.

Although you can never know before you meet someone physically, I too am in the needing an emotional connection group!

Once I have it, I can build that passion that transcends "just sex".

If I wanted just sex I would of stayed in Asia and fucked a thousand women a day! Pointless!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"After a couple of years and as I got older I stopped enjoying it...

Sex got boring, I would rather do anything else, even work was more fun.

Then I found a woman who ignited me, we knew we just had a few months together, but we hung out and fucked like we needed it!

This allowed us to experiment, enjoy, relax and it totally changed my outlook.

Although you can never know before you meet someone physically, I too am in the needing an emotional connection group!

Once I have it, I can build that passion that transcends "just sex".

If I wanted just sex I would of stayed in Asia and fucked a thousand women a day! Pointless!! "

Thats exactly the way i feel. Totally agree.. Pointless without emotion.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic