FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > can't accom? dubious reasons?
can't accom? dubious reasons?
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By *john121 OP Man
over a year ago
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Well blow me down! just read a profile off a single lady who raises the question on her profile and I quote "why can't single men accommodate? I wonder why!! lol"
her profile: cant accommodate, cant travel.
Are you ladies gents out there fed up having to perhaps defend your reason/reasons....I very politely rejected a yummy sounding lady earlier this week as I don't see why I should be greeted with suspicion.
'waiting for the married men/women playing away statement'
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am a single lady who cannot accomodate due to having a 25 year old son living here , bloody pain in the bum and puts paid to a lot of fun. Happy to travel a reasonable distance but as you said yourself the 'single' men who accomodate are few and far between although they outnumber most other groups on site.
So hard to find a single male playmate who accomodates. where are u all ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i read a profile other day, was a single woman and it said
if you dont accommodate i will want to know why or i will assum your cheating, i can not accommodate for private reasons lol
i dont accommodate because im a single woman with kids and i do not hand out my adddress to guys on sex sites for safty reason
i have had a few accuse me of cheating really as a lot of guys dont see why i cant accommodate while the kids are out or in bed thing is i can but i choose not to
i wonder how they would feel if the mother of their kids was fucking strangers in the house while his kids was in bed?
i hate guys who moan about the fact i dont accommodate when they dont
i never ask anyone to accommodate me im more than happy to use clubs and hotels |
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By *edhotminxWoman
over a year ago
Turn left at the Singing Ringing Tree |
I'll hold my hand up and say that I always check to see if someone can accommodate and will ask nicely why they can't. There are a fair few 'single' men that are actually married and playing without permission - and I'd rather find that fact out first before I play and not after. Maybe I should ask to speak to their partner first beforehand?
Although I can accommodate, I state that I can't on my profile because of a past experience of having someone turn up at my house out of the blue on the off chance that I might be wanting sex. I'm divorced with kids and don't need the hassle of that scenario again.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me it's not a matter of defending themselves, but I have on my profile that I expect playmates to be able to accommodate as I do. I live with my daughters, but I play when they're not there. Sometimes, they come home when least expected and it's nice to have a plan B.
What gets my goat is being contacted by people who can't accommodate - who expect me to accommodate. When I point out - the bleeding obvious ie what's on my profile - some say "I'm not turning my house into a knocking shop!"
Delete and block!!! Itls ok for me to turn my house into a knocking shop for them though!!
Sometimes some people asked to get a tongue lashing!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Although I can accommodate, I state that I can't on my profile because of a past experience of having someone turn up at my house out of the blue on the off chance that I might be wanting sex. I'm divorced with kids and don't need the hassle of that scenario again. "
ive had that happen to me too, just after i became single i used to accommodate when my kids was with their dad for the night, then one guy just took it upon himself to just turn up at my door one night at about 2am, he'd been out with his mates drinking and was horny and wanted to know if i fancied playing, he said he had tried to call but got no answer so just came anyway, thing is im in the back bedroom and i didnt hear the door as i was asleep but he woke up my daughter whos room is just above the front door and she answered the door to him
needed to say the only thing he got was the front door slammed in his face after a few choice words |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunately there are many who do have partners at home, so it’s understandable some people may greet you with suspicion, if you’ve nothing to hide though why let it bother you? A bit of suspicion isn’t necessary a bad thing, it usually means they care. |
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By *john121 OP Man
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately there are many who do have partners at home, so it’s understandable some people may greet you with suspicion, if you’ve nothing to hide though why let it bother you? A bit of suspicion isn’t necessary a bad thing, it usually means they care. "
usually means they care? interesting thought...not looking for someone to care about me...if i can't accom its for a reason just as others have stated here who all have valid reasons as I or your good selves don't have to justify my/our profiles or selections/choices..
its simple to me, people don't trust and if they can't it's usually in my experience because someone has shall we say 'let them down' at some point.
discuss:
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately there are many who do have partners at home, so it’s understandable some people may greet you with suspicion, if you’ve nothing to hide though why let it bother you? A bit of suspicion isn’t necessary a bad thing, it usually means they care.
usually means they care? interesting thought...not looking for someone to care about me...if i can't accom its for a reason just as others have stated here who all have valid reasons as I or your good selves don't have to justify my/our profiles or selections/choices..
its simple to me, people don't trust and if they can't it's usually in my experience because someone has shall we say 'let them down' at some point.
discuss:
"
What’s to discuss, it sounds like you’ve already made your mind up and think nobody intersted in meeting has the a right to ask privately why you cannot accommodate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why do we have to jump through so many hoops for what should be straight forward fun, shouldn't it be a case on here of "I fancy you, you fancy me, let's play"? Why do people go analysing every detail? I don't want the life story of everyone I meet, yes a few safety facts and that special spark are important but I'm not planning on writing their autobiography for them after! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do we have to jump through so many hoops for what should be straight forward fun, shouldn't it be a case on here of "I fancy you, you fancy me, let's play"? Why do people go analysing every detail? I don't want the life story of everyone I meet, yes a few safety facts and that special spark are important but I'm not planning on writing their autobiography for them after! "
You don't accommodate - that's your business, but would you contact someone who has on their profile, you have to be able to accommodate too and I don't do hotels?!!
If not - I agree with you - if you would then damn right I'd want to know why you can't accommodate but expect to come to mine! |
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By *john121 OP Man
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately there are many who do have partners at home, so it’s understandable some people may greet you with suspicion, if you’ve nothing to hide though why let it bother you? A bit of suspicion isn’t necessary a bad thing, it usually means they care.
usually means they care? interesting thought...not looking for someone to care about me...if i can't accom its for a reason just as others have stated here who all have valid reasons as I or your good selves don't have to justify my/our profiles or selections/choices..
its simple to me, people don't trust and if they can't it's usually in my experience because someone has shall we say 'let them down' at some point.
discuss:
What’s to discuss, it sounds like you’ve already made your mind up and think nobody intersted in meeting has the a right to ask privately why you cannot accommodate "
I may or not have made my mind up but after just checking your own profile it confirms to me that my thoughts over not trusting are valid after all it's in caps on yours about cheating and liars...so I find the caring comment even more curious...
my life story is my own business and if you don't like what you read on someones profile don't get in touch..isn't it that simple..i will discuss any thing else face to face...but its this constant distrust of singles be them male or female that wrankles me...just how i feel...and judging by the peeps who have taken the time to respond they all have valid reasons why the can't or wont..but that's there business and should be good enough. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No I would not approach someone who is looking for me to accommodate and does not do hotels, but dosent that lead on to another can of worms like why can't they do hotels? (I always pay for the hotel and am happy to do so) and why are they so keen on coming to your home? |
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If a single guy cannot accommodate I rarely assume they are cheating in the first instance. I prefer to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are single… but have an underlying attitude of “I don’t want to shit on my own doorstep”… but will gladly come and turdify everyone else’s. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately there are many who do have partners at home, so it’s understandable some people may greet you with suspicion, if you’ve nothing to hide though why let it bother you? A bit of suspicion isn’t necessary a bad thing, it usually means they care.
usually means they care? interesting thought...not looking for someone to care about me...if i can't accom its for a reason just as others have stated here who all have valid reasons as I or your good selves don't have to justify my/our profiles or selections/choices..
its simple to me, people don't trust and if they can't it's usually in my experience because someone has shall we say 'let them down' at some point.
discuss:
What’s to discuss, it sounds like you’ve already made your mind up and think nobody intersted in meeting has the a right to ask privately why you cannot accommodate
I may or not have made my mind up but after just checking your own profile it confirms to me that my thoughts over not trusting are valid after all it's in caps on yours about cheating and liars...so I find the caring comment even more curious...
my life story is my own business and if you don't like what you read on someones profile don't get in touch..isn't it that simple..i will discuss any thing else face to face...but its this constant distrust of singles be them male or female that wrankles me...just how i feel...and judging by the peeps who have taken the time to respond they all have valid reasons why the can't or wont..but that's there business and should be good enough."
Not entirely sure why the caring comment has made you curious, we simply care, and don’t want to be knowingly causing hurt to anyone, this lifestyle should be all about honesty and consent, to some it is, to some it’s not, some people can just switch of and not care about other parties, others feel guilty and do care. |
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"No I would not approach someone who is looking for me to accommodate and does not do hotels, but dosent that lead on to another can of worms like why can't they do hotels? (I always pay for the hotel and am happy to do so) and why are they so keen on coming to your home?"
Some people find hotels quite seedy when it comes to this sort of stuff. Think 'Pretty Woman'. Being a swinger doesn't automatically mean you're up for sex any where you can get it. They could be keen on going to your home for a lot of reasons. They might be single, but they also might have kids, room mates, live with family.
Not surprised that people are suspicious of singles, but short of tracking down their landline number and having a friendly chat with their 'partner' to make sure that they have the go ahead - not sure what else you can do. This whole game is based on some level of trust. If you're suspicious of somebody before even meeting them, then what's the point? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No I would not approach someone who is looking for me to accommodate and does not do hotels, but dosent that lead on to another can of worms like why can't they do hotels? (I always pay for the hotel and am happy to do so) and why are they so keen on coming to your home?"
As a single female I wouldn't want to meet someone in a hotel: you only have to look at recent threads where people have arranged to meet a single male in a hotel room but on arrival there have been groups waiting for them.
As I said in my earlier post - I share my home with my two adult daughters. They come and go, so I play when they're not there - I feel safer in my own environment and always meet socially first. My daughter's tend to "turn up" so I like to have a plan B.
Personally I find it offensive if someone wants to come to my home, but when I've had to cancel because my daughter has turned up they don't want you at theirs because it's not a "knocking shop" - that's the mentality of some men on here! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a single guy cannot accommodate I rarely assume they are cheating in the first instance. I prefer to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are single… but have an underlying attitude of “I don’t want to shit on my own doorstep”… but will gladly come and turdify everyone else’s."
I should read to the end before posting - would save myself the bother!!
Polo as usual you've hit the nail on the head - THAT'S the kind of attitude that annoy the feck out of me. Nothing to do with "opening cans of worms", but not wanting for their house to be seen as a knocking shop, but it's ok for yours to be!! |
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By *john121 OP Man
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately there are many who do have partners at home, so it’s understandable some people may greet you with suspicion, if you’ve nothing to hide though why let it bother you? A bit of suspicion isn’t necessary a bad thing, it usually means they care.
usually means they care? interesting thought...not looking for someone to care about me...if i can't accom its for a reason just as others have stated here who all have valid reasons as I or your good selves don't have to justify my/our profiles or selections/choices..
its simple to me, people don't trust and if they can't it's usually in my experience because someone has shall we say 'let them down' at some point.
discuss:
What’s to discuss, it sounds like you’ve already made your mind up and think nobody intersted in meeting has the a right to ask privately why you cannot accommodate
I may or not have made my mind up but after just checking your own profile it confirms to me that my thoughts over not trusting are valid after all it's in caps on yours about cheating and liars...so I find the caring comment even more curious...
my life story is my own business and if you don't like what you read on someones profile don't get in touch..isn't it that simple..i will discuss any thing else face to face...but its this constant distrust of singles be them male or female that wrankles me...just how i feel...and judging by the peeps who have taken the time to respond they all have valid reasons why the can't or wont..but that's there business and should be good enough.
Not entirely sure why the caring comment has made you curious, we simply care, and don’t want to be knowingly causing hurt to anyone, this lifestyle should be all about honesty and consent, to some it is, to some it’s not, some people can just switch of and not care about other parties, others feel guilty and do care."
I have already said why the caring comment is curious to me but you haven't said why you feel the need to put in caps on your own profile
WILL ALL LIARS, CHEATS AND CHANCERS PASS US BY PLEASE...where does the caring come from?
you clearly feel strongly enough that there are a lot of the above and as i said its down to trust and not trusting..and nothing to do with caring...'Suspicion' apart from being a great alfred hitchcock movie is not trusting and not trusting is down to your own feelings not those of the person you are hoping or would like to meet...caring is trusting...or have I got it wrong? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just like the neutral ground of a good clean hotel room, and if your unsure of who your meeting social first? "
I always meet socially first - no exception. As a previous poster said regarding the seediness of hotels - that's how I feel about them.
It's just not for me, and thankfully, I have playmates that feel the same and can accommodate - if need be - as I prefer my own home.
How other people play, whether they're married or not is really not my concern, I just get annoyed at people who don't respect MY wishes and try to convince me to meet them in hotels, "when they're in the area". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have already said why the caring comment is curious to me but you haven't said why you feel the need to put in caps on your own profile
WILL ALL LIARS, CHEATS AND CHANCERS PASS US BY PLEASE...where does the caring come from?
you clearly feel strongly enough that there are a lot of the above and as i said its down to trust and not trusting..and nothing to do with caring...'Suspicion' apart from being a great alfred hitchcock movie is not trusting and not trusting is down to your own feelings not those of the person you are hoping or would like to meet...caring is trusting...or have I got it wrong?"
For someone who’s life story is their own business you ask a lot of questions about others 
When you start meeting single men, all will become clear, and I’m not about to start bashing single men because of a fair few as they’re not all the same.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How other people play, whether they're married or not is really not my concern, I just get annoyed at people who don't respect MY wishes and try to convince me to meet them in hotels, "when they're in the area". "
"convince" another word for pushyness ,,, shouldn't happen when people just show decent respect |
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"If a single guy cannot accommodate I rarely assume they are cheating in the first instance. I prefer to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are single… but have an underlying attitude of “I don’t want to shit on my own doorstep”… but will gladly come and turdify everyone else’s.
I should read to the end before posting - would save myself the bother!!
Polo as usual you've hit the nail on the head - THAT'S the kind of attitude that annoy the feck out of me. Nothing to do with "opening cans of worms", but not wanting for their house to be seen as a knocking shop, but it's ok for yours to be!! "
I have often said... I don't mind people who can't accommodate. It is those who won't accommodate (regardless of whether you want them to or not) and yet they still expect to be able to come to yours.
Personally, I take a great amount of offense at being told "I don't want scum like you in my house"... no matter how indirectly it has been said. |
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By *john121 OP Man
over a year ago
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"I just like the neutral ground of a good clean hotel room, and if your unsure of who your meeting social first?
I always meet socially first - no exception. As a previous poster said regarding the seediness of hotels - that's how I feel about them.
It's just not for me, and thankfully, I have playmates that feel the same and can accommodate - if need be - as I prefer my own home.
How other people play, whether they're married or not is really not my concern, I just get annoyed at people who don't respect MY wishes and try to convince me to meet them in hotels, "when they're in the area". "
I can understand the 'little seedy' side of things as well as the safety issue for single ladies...but for me it's more the couples (not all) who want to make a profit out of single guys as previously discussed in other
threads...but again it's not for me to start asking why they can't accom at home..I just take it they can't and move on..whether its there fantasy or by necessity it's their choice... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a single guy cannot accommodate I rarely assume they are cheating in the first instance. I prefer to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are single… but have an underlying attitude of “I don’t want to shit on my own doorstep”… but will gladly come and turdify everyone else’s.
I should read to the end before posting - would save myself the bother!!
Polo as usual you've hit the nail on the head - THAT'S the kind of attitude that annoy the feck out of me. Nothing to do with "opening cans of worms", but not wanting for their house to be seen as a knocking shop, but it's ok for yours to be!!
I have often said... I don't mind people who can't accommodate. It is those who won't accommodate (regardless of whether you want them to or not) and yet they still expect to be able to come to yours.
Personally, I take a great amount of offense at being told "I don't want scum like you in my house"... no matter how indirectly it has been said."
PMSL...and that's what they mean isn't it?!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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there are hundreds of reasons for not accommodating...
...there are also some marrieds on here that will quite happily invite you in to their married bed whilst their partner is on a night shift!
the accommodation issue doesnt tell be diddly squat about a person....i let their profile do that |
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By *john121 OP Man
over a year ago
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"I have already said why the caring comment is curious to me but you haven't said why you feel the need to put in caps on your own profile
WILL ALL LIARS, CHEATS AND CHANCERS PASS US BY PLEASE...where does the caring come from?
you clearly feel strongly enough that there are a lot of the above and as i said its down to trust and not trusting..and nothing to do with caring...'Suspicion' apart from being a great alfred hitchcock movie is not trusting and not trusting is down to your own feelings not those of the person you are hoping or would like to meet...caring is trusting...or have I got it wrong?
For someone who’s life story is their own business you ask a lot of questions about others
When you start meeting single men, all will become clear, and I’m not about to start bashing single men because of a fair few as they’re not all the same.
"
oh dear here we go..you claim its because you care when your profile clearly states what it does..LIARS and so on
now the next gem "When you start meeting single men, all will become clear, and I’m not about to start bashing single men" you just did! lol "its not you its all the others" lol lol I'm not interested in why you can't accom and I'm not interested in why you feel it necessary to stipulate in caps about all liars...just making a point that its nothing to do with caring...lol lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"there are hundreds of reasons for not accommodating...
...there are also some marrieds on here that will quite happily invite you in to their married bed whilst their partner is on a night shift!
the accommodation issue doesnt tell be diddly squat about a person....i let their profile do that"
I agree. I had to cancel a meet at home as my daughter turned up unexpectedly so my plan B picked me up to take me to his.
I was in his apartment one minute - maybe less, before I asked him to take me home. Why?!! There was nothing personal in the apartment. It was beautiful overlooking the Thames, but it was obviously not his home.
It turned out to be his company pad for when he had to stay in London. He had a house - oh, plus wife and kids - in the Cotswolds!!! |
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By *john121 OP Man
over a year ago
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"there are hundreds of reasons for not accommodating...
...there are also some marrieds on here that will quite happily invite you in to their married bed whilst their partner is on a night shift!
the accommodation issue doesnt tell be diddly squat about a person....i let their profile do that"
here here! well said! very true! |
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By *john121 OP Man
over a year ago
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"there are hundreds of reasons for not accommodating...
...there are also some marrieds on here that will quite happily invite you in to their married bed whilst their partner is on a night shift!
the accommodation issue doesnt tell be diddly squat about a person....i let their profile do that
I agree. I had to cancel a meet at home as my daughter turned up unexpectedly so my plan B picked me up to take me to his.
I was in his apartment one minute - maybe less, before I asked him to take me home. Why?!! There was nothing personal in the apartment. It was beautiful overlooking the Thames, but it was obviously not his home.
It turned out to be his company pad for when he had to stay in London. He had a house - oh, plus wife and kids - in the Cotswolds!!! "
was there enough time to drive you to the Cotswolds? lol lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have already said why the caring comment is curious to me but you haven't said why you feel the need to put in caps on your own profile
WILL ALL LIARS, CHEATS AND CHANCERS PASS US BY PLEASE...where does the caring come from?
you clearly feel strongly enough that there are a lot of the above and as i said its down to trust and not trusting..and nothing to do with caring...'Suspicion' apart from being a great alfred hitchcock movie is not trusting and not trusting is down to your own feelings not those of the person you are hoping or would like to meet...caring is trusting...or have I got it wrong?
For someone who’s life story is their own business you ask a lot of questions about others
When you start meeting single men, all will become clear, and I’m not about to start bashing single men because of a fair few as they’re not all the same.
oh dear here we go..you claim its because you care when your profile clearly states what it does..LIARS and so on
now the next gem "When you start meeting single men, all will become clear, and I’m not about to start bashing single men" you just did! lol "its not you its all the others" lol lol I'm not interested in why you can't accom and I'm not interested in why you feel it necessary to stipulate in caps about all liars...just making a point that its nothing to do with caring...lol lol"
You just tell me what it is then? and i'll happilly agree with you, unfortunately some of us DO actually care who we choose to meet  |
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By *john121 OP Man
over a year ago
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"I have already said why the caring comment is curious to me but you haven't said why you feel the need to put in caps on your own profile
WILL ALL LIARS, CHEATS AND CHANCERS PASS US BY PLEASE...where does the caring come from?
you clearly feel strongly enough that there are a lot of the above and as i said its down to trust and not trusting..and nothing to do with caring...'Suspicion' apart from being a great alfred hitchcock movie is not trusting and not trusting is down to your own feelings not those of the person you are hoping or would like to meet...caring is trusting...or have I got it wrong?
For someone who’s life story is their own business you ask a lot of questions about others
When you start meeting single men, all will become clear, and I’m not about to start bashing single men because of a fair few as they’re not all the same.
oh dear here we go..you claim its because you care when your profile clearly states what it does..LIARS and so on
now the next gem "When you start meeting single men, all will become clear, and I’m not about to start bashing single men" you just did! lol "its not you its all the others" lol lol I'm not interested in why you can't accom and I'm not interested in why you feel it necessary to stipulate in caps about all liars...just making a point that its nothing to do with caring...lol lol
You just tell me what it is then? and i'll happilly agree with you, unfortunately some of us DO actually care who we choose to meet "
you said nothing about who we care to meet! "A bit of suspicion isn’t necessary a bad thing, it usually means they care" lol stop trying to back peddle...lol just admit you don't trust.. lol lol lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" you said nothing about who we care to meet! "A bit of suspicion isn’t necessary a bad thing, it usually means they care" lol stop trying to back peddle...lol just admit you don't trust.. lol lol lol "
Seems like you’re just trying to twist everything I’ve said, I said THEY, you changed it to WE, but of course we don’t trust everyone on a swinging website, do you? For an example your profile says safe sex and yet your verified from someone who prefers bareback, thats just as an example as to why people should CARE about things no matter how trivial it may seem to others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"there are hundreds of reasons for not accommodating...
...there are also some marrieds on here that will quite happily invite you in to their married bed whilst their partner is on a night shift!
the accommodation issue doesnt tell be diddly squat about a person....i let their profile do that
I agree. I had to cancel a meet at home as my daughter turned up unexpectedly so my plan B picked me up to take me to his.
I was in his apartment one minute - maybe less, before I asked him to take me home. Why?!! There was nothing personal in the apartment. It was beautiful overlooking the Thames, but it was obviously not his home.
It turned out to be his company pad for when he had to stay in London. He had a house - oh, plus wife and kids - in the Cotswolds!!!
was there enough time to drive you to the Cotswolds? lol lol "
Could have asked his wife to watch and take photos!!  |
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By *john121 OP Man
over a year ago
staffs |
"there are hundreds of reasons for not accommodating...
...there are also some marrieds on here that will quite happily invite you in to their married bed whilst their partner is on a night shift!
the accommodation issue doesnt tell be diddly squat about a person....i let their profile do that
I agree. I had to cancel a meet at home as my daughter turned up unexpectedly so my plan B picked me up to take me to his.
I was in his apartment one minute - maybe less, before I asked him to take me home. Why?!! There was nothing personal in the apartment. It was beautiful overlooking the Thames, but it was obviously not his home.
It turned out to be his company pad for when he had to stay in London. He had a house - oh, plus wife and kids - in the Cotswolds!!!
was there enough time to drive you to the Cotswolds? lol lol
Could have asked his wife to watch and take photos!! "
excellent idea!  |
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By *john121 OP Man
over a year ago
staffs |
" you said nothing about who we care to meet! "A bit of suspicion isn’t necessary a bad thing, it usually means they care" lol stop trying to back peddle...lol just admit you don't trust.. lol lol lol
Seems like you’re just trying to twist everything I’ve said, I said THEY, you changed it to WE, but of course we don’t trust everyone on a swinging website, do you? For an example your profile says safe sex and yet your verified from someone who prefers bareback, thats just as an example as to why people should CARE about things no matter how trivial it may seem to others. "
oh lets try and scratch the bottom of the barrel shall we! lol "prefer bareback and will play safe" please get your quote right..and you're assuming that penetrative sex happened.. and they are not here to defend their profile so you should leave that there.so do you presume that while out dogging (risky in my opinion)all the chaps you've met have played safe? and once again its because they 'care' which were your words...now if you meant that they care about the quality of the people you should make your comments more clear..but again you seemed to or may have been let down previously for your caps comments on your own profile...do YOU believe that all the 'liars' 'cheets' will be put off or more likely to try and chance their arm? ending up fueling your obvious concern over so many liars etc etc..
and i was pointing out that if you don't trust a profile then don't bother..not rocket science...not a problem in not trusting just don't tar all singles be the men or women that they must be hiding some thing...just say i dont trust..easy.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"oh lets try and scratch the bottom of the barrel shall we! lol "prefer bareback and will play safe" please get your quote right..and you're assuming that penetrative sex happened.. and they are not here to defend their profile so you should leave that there.so do you presume that while out dogging (risky in my opinion)all the chaps you've met have played safe? and once again its because they 'care' which were your words...now if you meant that they care about the quality of the people you should make your comments more clear..but again you seemed to or may have been let down previously for your caps comments on your own profile...do YOU believe that all the 'liars' 'cheets' will be put off or more likely to try and chance their arm? ending up fueling your obvious concern over so many liars etc etc..
and i was pointing out that if you don't trust a profile then don't bother..not rocket science...not a problem in not trusting just don't tar all singles be the men or women that they must be hiding some thing...just say i dont trust..easy.."
It seems to be you that’s telling US what we should and shouldn’t be doing, perhaps you should just practice what you preach then and not expect people to have to explain or defend their reasons for anything, you're doing exactly what your original post suggested people shouldn’t do.
Nothing more to say on the topic. |
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By *john121 OP Man
over a year ago
staffs |
"oh lets try and scratch the bottom of the barrel shall we! lol "prefer bareback and will play safe" please get your quote right..and you're assuming that penetrative sex happened.. and they are not here to defend their profile so you should leave that there.so do you presume that while out dogging (risky in my opinion)all the chaps you've met have played safe? and once again its because they 'care' which were your words...now if you meant that they care about the quality of the people you should make your comments more clear..but again you seemed to or may have been let down previously for your caps comments on your own profile...do YOU believe that all the 'liars' 'cheets' will be put off or more likely to try and chance their arm? ending up fueling your obvious concern over so many liars etc etc..
and i was pointing out that if you don't trust a profile then don't bother..not rocket science...not a problem in not trusting just don't tar all singles be the men or women that they must be hiding some thing...just say i dont trust..easy..
It seems to be you that’s telling US what we should and shouldn’t be doing, perhaps you should just practice what you preach then and not expect people to have to explain or defend their reasons for anything, you're doing exactly what your original post suggested people shouldn’t do.
Nothing more to say on the topic."
you decide to respond as you have every right to do so..but to me your reasoning and profile comments demonstrate that you don't trust people and possibly those who can't accom..not interested in why you can't and I'm not telling you what to do..up to you if you cant be honest in this thread that you don't trust..your choice/choices not my problem..but if you are going to comment on behalf of others 'they' you should be able to back up with your own beliefs...
my view that it is down to trust and that not all singles who cant accom are either liars,cheats or time wasters and whatever other tricky reasons they may have for not doing so..
and if you have any concerns about a profile then just leave it alone..and use your own judgment on whether to meet or not...
I've been let down by couples and singles and i suspect/know many others have too but I wont brand them all liars or cheats etc...I just move on..who wants negatives on their profile? i don't..
many thanks for your differing point of view.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As a rule I can accommodate but at the moment due to members of family staying with me I can't.
I am more than happy to go halves on a hotel but am struggling to find someone who accommodates etc. I must point out all this is after meeting socially.
I'm however honoured beyond belief thanks to all the gents who want to show me a good time in there car or truck cab.
I even got accused of cheating on my partner by a chap earlier today and that was on his intro message. Said chap is now asking if I will meet him and wondering why not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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as i have posted somewhere before on the forum.
i had to sell my home and most of my things to fund treatment for an illness.
this means i know rent and have to share a place with (at the moment) 5 other people.
i dont like my situation but i cannot afford my own place but that doesnt make me a timewaster or married either.
im always happy to pay for a hotel and as that is at my expense what have they got to lose.
but i aint no liar. i needed to fund my treatment quickly or i would have got worse if not died.
i had no choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I'm however honoured beyond belief thanks to all the gents who want to show me a good time in there car or truck cab."
Sorry...but that made me chuckle!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"as i have posted somewhere before on the forum.
i had to sell my home and most of my things to fund treatment for an illness.
this means i know rent and have to share a place with (at the moment) 5 other people.
i dont like my situation but i cannot afford my own place but that doesnt make me a timewaster or married either.
im always happy to pay for a hotel and as that is at my expense what have they got to lose.
but i aint no liar. i needed to fund my treatment quickly or i would have got worse if not died.
i had no choice."
I, and some others, don't assume that all single men that can't accommodate are cheating married men.
The problem I have, and others I think, is for those people - as it's not only single men - who feel their homes are sacred turf but it's ok for them to invite themselves to your home. especially when you've made your preferences clear, that you wont do hotels etc but they still contact you thinking you'll change your mind!
Trust your treatment went well and you're well on the way to recovery! |
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When you encounter something a lot it's very easy to slip into generalising.
We all (well the less simples folk anyway) know the cap doesn't fit everyone... even if it does say 'one size fits all'
But it does remain a fact, I have never in one place, encountered so many 'single' guys who house share with prudish mates (who never have sex with anyone) or have full time custody of their kids. I sometimes feel like pointing 'Fathers for Justice' in the direction of this site and telling them to stop talking bollox. |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"When you encounter something a lot it's very easy to slip into generalising.
We all (well the less simples folk anyway) know the cap doesn't fit everyone... even if it does say 'one size fits all'
But it does remain a fact, I have never in one place, encountered so many 'single' guys who house share with prudish mates (who never have sex with anyone) or have full time custody of their kids. I sometimes feel like pointing 'Fathers for Justice' in the direction of this site and telling them to stop talking bollox. "
thats a bit harsh polo.
a lot of single guys cant accomodate.
because there mams say,they cant have anybody in their room. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I cant accom cos we live on twitchy curtain close lol and we also have a slobbery young boxer dog who barks a lot if you go upstairs and leave him downstairs lol, neighbours would wonder why Max keeps barking haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"as i have posted somewhere before on the forum.
i had to sell my home and most of my things to fund treatment for an illness.
this means i know rent and have to share a place with (at the moment) 5 other people.
i dont like my situation but i cannot afford my own place but that doesnt make me a timewaster or married either.
im always happy to pay for a hotel and as that is at my expense what have they got to lose.
but i aint no liar. i needed to fund my treatment quickly or i would have got worse if not died.
i had no choice.
I, and some others, don't assume that all single men that can't accommodate are cheating married men.
The problem I have, and others I think, is for those people - as it's not only single men - who feel their homes are sacred turf but it's ok for them to invite themselves to your home. especially when you've made your preferences clear, that you wont do hotels etc but they still contact you thinking you'll change your mind!
Trust your treatment went well and you're well on the way to recovery!"
yes im fine. i just have to have monthly check ups for six months then of all good three checkups a year after that.
best £100,000 i ever spent. likely everything is caught early.
but somethings like my hair will never grow back.but id take that over being dead any day of the week. |
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By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"Well blow me down! just read a profile off a single lady who raises the question on her profile and I quote "why can't single men accommodate? I wonder why!! lol"
her profile: cant accommodate, cant travel.
Are you ladies gents out there fed up having to perhaps defend your reason/reasons....I very politely rejected a yummy sounding lady earlier this week as I don't see why I should be greeted with suspicion.
'waiting for the married men/women playing away statement'
Discuss:"
I love it when assumptions are made. In reality a lot of blokes are as wary as single women are about inviting strangers to their homes. some people have meets with "clingers" you know the type who you meet once and think "no feking way am i meeting again". Now if its a bloke hanging around outside a woman's house then the police will sort it. Alas they don't see the same problem with women stalking guys. I just wish people would just ask others outright, but i guess it might only start conflict. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I am a very messy person, and tidying my house in order to receive guests stresses me out big time.
After a recent unpleasant experience of someone taking advantage of my generous nature, I have decided not to invite anyone back to my home for fun anymore.
Hence I opt for hotel meets or at clubs, and have been known to hold court at my local Travelodge only a few minutes walk down the road from my house!
Can't wait until the next Travelodge room sale! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Can accomodate.. but seemingly too good to be true and people stay away. Oh well."
Gorgeous physique, lovely smile, engaging profile, witty, intelligent, verified AND can accommodate?!! Obviously a fake!! |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
" Can accomodate.. but seemingly too good to be true and people stay away. Oh well.
Gorgeous physique, lovely smile, engaging profile, witty, intelligent, verified AND can accommodate?!! Obviously a fake!! "
That's what I thought... best steer well clear of that sod! |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Well blow me down! just read a profile off a single lady who raises the question on her profile and I quote "why can't single men accommodate? I wonder why!! lol"
her profile: cant accommodate, cant travel.
Are you ladies gents out there fed up having to perhaps defend your reason/reasons....I very politely rejected a yummy sounding lady earlier this week as I don't see why I should be greeted with suspicion.
'waiting for the married men/women playing away statement'
Discuss:"
for every action there is a reaction.....
simple as that......
so you can deal with it two way...
1) you don't have to tell people why... up to you, However if the reaction to that is for some people to be suspicious then that is a consequence of your decision....
2) you can be honest and open and upfront as to why.... yes you lose some privacy in the process, but people tend to be more understanding as to the situation... if that then gets people more meets then that again is a conseqence to that decision...
no one is forcing you to do either 1 or 2... in the end it is up to you, no one is holding a bullet to your head!
in the end it is your decision, you have to be prepared for the consequence of that decision and dont blame everyone else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i cant accom because i still like at home, my mum works part time and my dad comes home from work with out warning, if asked this is what i say, if im talking to someone again this is what i'll say, if they think i cant accom because im male, and therefor not single and cheating, then thats their own problem and not mine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"when i say i still like at home, i mean live at home :P"
In fairness, you're 20 and I'd be surprised if you DIDN'T live at home with your parents!!
I think people are more dubious about men in the 40s and 50s! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I will never bring anybody home from this site, or any similar - ever!
I did it once, with a women who I thought was really nice - she turned out to be crazy and tried to strangle me in bed - then stalked me for a year...
I take enough chances in meeting people - if things go wrong, then I don't want anybody knowing where I live, I keep the risks away from my home.
So - my home details are private - sorry! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will never bring anybody home from this site, or any similar - ever!
I did it once, with a women who I thought was really nice - she turned out to be crazy and tried to strangle me in bed - then stalked me for a year...
I take enough chances in meeting people - if things go wrong, then I don't want anybody knowing where I live, I keep the risks away from my home.
So - my home details are private - sorry!"
I don't blame you but stalkers don't just use the internet you get them all over. being sensible is always best and go with your gut feelings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will never bring anybody home from this site, or any similar - ever!
I did it once, with a women who I thought was really nice - she turned out to be crazy and tried to strangle me in bed - then stalked me for a year...
I take enough chances in meeting people - if things go wrong, then I don't want anybody knowing where I live, I keep the risks away from my home.
So - my home details are private - sorry!
I don't blame you but stalkers don't just use the internet you get them all over. being sensible is always best and go with your gut feelings."
*Nods in agreement* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Single guy here - who cant accommodate and I dont not have a public facing picture. Cheating??? No. First I live in a shared house and whilst I can invite people here I respect my two housemates and so go for the hotel option. I do have pictures avaialble for friends on here but will not put them on public profile. I work in IT and know how easy it is for a determined individual to "hack" a site. The internet is great fun but be mindful..it is not the secure place it sometimes pertains to be. Stay safe all. |
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I'm always surprised at how judgemental people can be and how upset people get once they've got an idea fixed in their minds.
It seems to me that if someone says they can't accommodate then it simply means they cannot accommodate. The reasons could be many but it isn't for me to judge. Afterall if the parties genuinely wish to meet there are other alternatives and any problems or issues can be negotiated. That's what adults do.
Why creat problems when life is already full of so many? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm always surprised at how judgemental people can be and how upset people get once they've got an idea fixed in their minds.
It seems to me that if someone says they can't accommodate then it simply means they cannot accommodate. The reasons could be many but it isn't for me to judge. Afterall if the parties genuinely wish to meet there are other alternatives and any problems or issues can be negotiated. That's what adults do.
Why creat problems when life is already full of so many?"
I'd agree with you if everyone had that approach.
All I can use is my own example. I live with my two adult daughters. One is away at uni, but comes home frequently. The other spends her time between home and her boyfriends house, so I do have plenty of opportunity to meet at home and I can "work" from home too.
Now, I've made it clear that although I accommodate, sometimes there needs to be a plan b, and for that my playmate should be in a position to accommodate. It's on my profile, along with the fact I don't do hotels EVER, I find them sleazy.
Therefore with ALL that information, if you were unable to accommodate, was in the area for a meeting and staying at the local Travel Lodge would you contact me for a quickie?!!
If I didn't just delete the message without responding, would you really be offended if my response told you about yourself?!!
Really?!!
If people can't/won't accommodate - I have no problem with that, but don't think your arse is coming into my house, because it isn't!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't and won't accom as I'm a single Mum and I home school my son. I don't want strangers in my home or go to into strangers homes.
I only meet at clubs as this is a safe environment. |
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"I'm always surprised at how judgemental people can be and how upset people get once they've got an idea fixed in their minds.
It seems to me that if someone says they can't accommodate then it simply means they cannot accommodate. The reasons could be many but it isn't for me to judge. Afterall if the parties genuinely wish to meet there are other alternatives and any problems or issues can be negotiated. That's what adults do.
Why creat problems when life is already full of so many?"
Well said.
There are as many reasons as people.
I'm all for having a laugh and even a bit of gentle fun poking, but there are also, sadly, a lot of very judgemental people on the site who rip into people for the most ridiculous reasons. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Living in the middle of nowhere can be a pain, stuck out in the wilds. A city hotel can be a mutually convenient location and offers a range of entertainment rather than just turn up and jump straight into bed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"when i say i still like at home, i mean live at home :P
In fairness, you're 20 and I'd be surprised if you DIDN'T live at home with your parents!!
I think people are more dubious about men in the 40s and 50s! "
good point, but even if i didnt, i suspect id be living with my best, who i would be to happy about me bringing people into a home that would be rightly half of hers, when for all i know they could be upto something.
and even if i had my own place i wouldnt, im not untidy i just have alot of stuff, most of whitch is worth quite alot of money, plus im quite a private person as it is when it comes to where i live |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"when i say i still like at home, i mean live at home :P
In fairness, you're 20 and I'd be surprised if you DIDN'T live at home with your parents!!
I think people are more dubious about men in the 40s and 50s!
good point, but even if i didnt, i suspect id be living with my best, who i would be to happy about me bringing people into a home that would be rightly half of hers, when for all i know they could be upto something.
and even if i had my own place i wouldnt, im not untidy i just have alot of stuff, most of whitch is worth quite alot of money, plus im quite a private person as it is when it comes to where i live"
I think people are getting a little confused.
Some people don't want people coming to their home - 100% fair enough. Other people can't accommodate, living with parents etc - again 100% fair enough.
I can't speak for everyone else, just myself, but the people that get my goat are those that could but don't want you in their homes, but want to come to yours!!!
I don't meet in hotels - I find them seedy, that goes for clubs too - al that information is on my profile, so it's not a surprise. I also state, if you can't accommodate too then don't contact me.
Does it stop the changers?!! Does it hell!!! |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I'm always surprised at how judgemental people can be and how upset people get once they've got an idea fixed in their minds.
It seems to me that if someone says they can't accommodate then it simply means they cannot accommodate. The reasons could be many but it isn't for me to judge. Afterall if the parties genuinely wish to meet there are other alternatives and any problems or issues can be negotiated. That's what adults do.
Why creat problems when life is already full of so many?
Well said.
There are as many reasons as people.
I'm all for having a laugh and even a bit of gentle fun poking, but there are also, sadly, a lot of very judgemental people on the site who rip into people for the most ridiculous reasons. "
* nods * at both posts.
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
we are a couple.married nearly 30 years,and we cannot accomodate,because of a single guy.
our 23 year old son still lives with us,we cant get rid of the b******.lol
there are a million genuine reasons,people cant accomodate.unfortunatly for single guys.a lot of people,are already a bit aprehensive about meeting them.cannot accomodate just adds to this.
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