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People at Swinging clubs
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hey all, I don't really make a thread much but thought I share my thoughts on a few clubs I've been to.
Do any of yous who go to clubs ever wonder why most people don't seem of interact easily?
Yeah sure some of them get into conversations after a while and bond but that's only because they manage to "break the ice". Most others sit or stand there quiet starring at each other.
What I noticed with shy couples is that each of them have there own quite convo while observing but do this for the whole night, then they either go off alone to play privately with out any third person or so, "advertise" themselves by putting on a little foreplay publicly to try and seduse and invite any convinced players to join in or just go home.
As for the single guys, some are so pushy it looks ugly on there selfs but as for the "wallflowers" they hardly seem to make any form of interaction and initiation to chat, flirt or play unless one "brave soldier" volunteers on making the first move then the rest soon begin to follow suit like a herd.
But overall I hate to be in a enviomemt full of "ice" and prefer red hot flaming venues where people's inhibitions are at their lowest and it takes just one wink to begin a play session.
What do you all think, can you please relate to this?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people find it easy to talk to strangers and some don't. It also depends on the situation.
I can talk to anybody, usually, and its part of my job and im good at it. In my experience in a club situation, youre basically trying to find an attraction of some sort towards a complete stranger, obviously with a view to having a fuck after a short chat or whatever. In this situation even I find it difficult to break the ice.
I can walk round in next to nothing and have people see all my bits but that initial approach still feels difficult.
Saying that, we dont go to clubs that often so maybe it gets easier the more times u go.
Miss Nico |
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"Hey all, I don't really make a thread much but thought I share my thoughts on a few clubs I've been to.
Do any of yous who go to clubs ever wonder why most people don't seem of interact easily?
Yeah sure some of them get into conversations after a while and bond but that's only because they manage to "break the ice". Most others sit or stand there quiet starring at each other.
What I noticed with shy couples is that each of them have there own quite convo while observing but do this for the whole night, then they either go off alone to play privately with out any third person or so, "advertise" themselves by putting on a little foreplay publicly to try and seduse and invite any convinced players to join in or just go home.
As for the single guys, some are so pushy it looks ugly on there selfs but as for the "wallflowers" they hardly seem to make any form of interaction and initiation to chat, flirt or play unless one "brave soldier" volunteers on making the first move then the rest soon begin to follow suit like a herd.
But overall I hate to be in a enviomemt full of "ice" and prefer red hot flaming venues where people's inhibitions are at their lowest and it takes just one wink to begin a play session.
What do you all think, can you please relate to this? "
I don't really notice too much what others do, but we pretty much use the time to chill together ... we are together because we enjoy each others company and so do chit chat together, but its not because we are shy as such. We don't go to clubs looking for play ... so maybe not like other couples. In fact I think everyone is different. We are different at different clubs too. We were at a party yesterday evening and chatted to people we already knew .. no problems interacting for either of us, but we do that in a different environment and maybe also about who is there ... not sure if that makes any sense. |
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We go to chill as well and a play but for us its more our time as well away from the rugrats as night out so we are happy just to relax.We have found that couples are the more chatty, our first club visit we must have stood out as nervous newbies but were well away chatting to the lady half of a couple within 5 mins of walking in while the mr half of the couple was at the bar ,30 mins later we are still talking away and our nerves well and truly gone. Single males have never approached us and tend to sit there and follow women and couples around.We are not that scary surely  |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
We go to clubs to have sex, fun and satisfy our fantasies. We don't go to make friends. Having said that we have found all the clubs we have tried so far to be very friendly places full of people we enjoy talking to. Sorry to hear that the OP's experiences are quite different. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Out of interest which clubs do you go to?"
Tbh, not a lot, just Rios, Paradise spa, Eureka etc. Mainly spa venues but still I would imagine a genetal amount of people still get "stage fright" at meny clubs including vanilla spots,do see where I'm coming from. But then again perhaps it's just the exposed and naked feeling some people feel at wet clubs, but if that reason then those kinds of places should make it easier for peeps to get interacting. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hey all, I don't really make a thread much but thought I share my thoughts on a few clubs I've been to.
Do any of yous who go to clubs ever wonder why most people don't seem of interact easily?
Yeah sure some of them get into conversations after a while and bond but that's only because they manage to "break the ice". Most others sit or stand there quiet starring at each other.
What I noticed with shy couples is that each of them have there own quite convo while observing but do this for the whole night, then they either go off alone to play privately with out any third person or so, "advertise" themselves by putting on a little foreplay publicly to try and seduse and invite any convinced players to join in or just go home.
As for the single guys, some are so pushy it looks ugly on there selfs but as for the "wallflowers" they hardly seem to make any form of interaction and initiation to chat, flirt or play unless one "brave soldier" volunteers on making the first move then the rest soon begin to follow suit like a herd.
But overall I hate to be in a enviomemt full of "ice" and prefer red hot flaming venues where people's inhibitions are at their lowest and it takes just one wink to begin a play session.
What do you all think, can you please relate to this?
I don't really notice too much what others do, but we pretty much use the time to chill together ... we are together because we enjoy each others company and so do chit chat together, but its not because we are shy as such. We don't go to clubs looking for play ... so maybe not like other couples. In fact I think everyone is different. We are different at different clubs too. We were at a party yesterday evening and chatted to people we already knew .. no problems interacting for either of us, but we do that in a different environment and maybe also about who is there ... not sure if that makes any sense."
Ok I can see where your coming from. Could it be that you both prefer to chat to others at parties and clubs on more "on-topic" bits and bobs as you both would feel more at ease than at regular clubs and venilla places? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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our first couple of times we were quite shy and even now have to sometimes take a deep breath and go for it on the chat to us side of things - once you start though its fine - not many people will go up to a quiet person as they wont want to appear pushy - a good club the staff will chat and enquire if they are ok - maybe introduce them to regulars to chat to - but now we just talk to most people  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We go to chill as well and a play but for us its more our time as well away from the rugrats as night out so we are happy just to relax.We have found that couples are the more chatty, our first club visit we must have stood out as nervous newbies but were well away chatting to the lady half of a couple within 5 mins of walking in while the mr half of the couple was at the bar ,30 mins later we are still talking away and our nerves well and truly gone. Single males have never approached us and tend to sit there and follow women and couples around.We are not that scary surely "
True couples tend to start and prefer a convo as they have a lot more in common to talk about. But as for the ideals of play, it seems to be only based on a permissions basis where one couple would invite the other or single person for playtime rather than seduse the other couple of single person to play.
Single guys plainly have it much harder as they are usually the ones on the hunt for fun (even if they are shy or a newbie) so it becomes a lucks game of which ever couple or single lady picks or invites them for play (not to mention the sheer amount of them at these places) so it's harder to choose I suppose.
But overall I can see why as they all aiming not to offend but find it hard to ask or interact correctly while worrying about what they may say or do something wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We go to clubs to have sex, fun and satisfy our fantasies. We don't go to make friends. Having said that we have found all the clubs we have tried so far to be very friendly places full of people we enjoy talking to. Sorry to hear that the OP's experiences are quite different."
Perhaps it's due to us Southeners (Londoners) being more quiet and reserved then you lot up north. Infact I see this all the time especially on public transport (trains, buses etc) we never seem to easily spark a convo while in the Northern Territories of this country i take it's more the norm to have random chats.
Well I haven't quite been to a lot of clubs yet but i still recon it's the general london area that most people are reserved most of the time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"our first couple of times we were quite shy and even now have to sometimes take a deep breath and go for it on the chat to us side of things - once you start though its fine - not many people will go up to a quiet person as they wont want to appear pushy - a good club the staff will chat and enquire if they are ok - maybe introduce them to regulars to chat to - but now we just talk to most people "
See now I really like your approch, that's how it should be for every one. Even for me when I'm in the right mood and mindset I do make the effort to speak to as much people as possible to fit in the scene (even single men at times) but anyone that remains remotely quiet will make me quiet and I find that totally awkward.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great thread OP. Single guys are often slated for not speaking in clubs yet couples often don't either. It can be daunting for many people; couples or singles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"our first couple of times we were quite shy and even now have to sometimes take a deep breath and go for it on the chat to us side of things - once you start though its fine - not many people will go up to a quiet person as they wont want to appear pushy - a good club the staff will chat and enquire if they are ok - maybe introduce them to regulars to chat to - but now we just talk to most people
See now I really like your approch, that's how it should be for every one. Even for me when I'm in the right mood and mindset I do make the effort to speak to as much people as possible to fit in the scene (even single men at times) but anyone that remains remotely quiet will make me quiet and I find that totally awkward. "
we try and hover close to the bar - we dont meet single men but will say hi to them - its an eye contact thing - that nod and a hello - then youre off - i do even ask the ladies if theyre bi - quite early on in the chat now  --- well if you dont ask you will never know - - it is a social thing and met some lovely people through being brave enough to say hello = |
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The conversation is a tricky part. Generally as people don't like rejection. It's hard to know who will find you attractive.
We tend to go and sit together first and that chit-chat you see us doing can be anything, but sometimes it's a brief yes/no check.
If she likes a couple but I don't then it would be embarrassing to make an approach only for the other half to later say erm no thanks.
But then we will try chatting to people. Saying hi on fab previously to going is always a good ice breaker and you can use it on a couple if you've not chatted on fab.
Hi are you jane and Dave from fab.
Oh no sorry you looked familiar but we've never traded face pics.
Love you outfit etc etc
A little white lie to get the conversation going. Or another standard opening line is hi have you guys been here before.
Corny and predictable but it gets people talking about the place or other places they've been too.
After some minutes if we find no chemistry we'll say we are going for a drink or a look about.
If there is some chemistry but they have not mentioned wanting to play with us we'll say we are going somewhere but they are welcome to join us.
Obviously if we've already got onto I'd love to fuck you then there is no need to be so cautious.
Last time we went to a club we ended up in the hot tub with 5 couples just chatting it was great. Didn't play with any of them (maybe we weren't their type)
But it was nice just being naked and chatting.
But just goes to show just saying hi to someone does not mean you are committed to fucking them.
But it does help. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We go to clubs to have sex, fun and satisfy our fantasies. We don't go to make friends. Having said that we have found all the clubs we have tried so far to be very friendly places full of people we enjoy talking to. Sorry to hear that the OP's experiences are quite different."
hey you hit the nail on the head clubs are all about sex with no connection not for me I'm afraid and for single guys why would you spend all that money it must be like being on here messaging " frustrating " and you've paid out money to  |
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".hey you hit the nail on the head clubs are all about sex with no connection not for me I'm afraid and for single guys why would you spend all that money it must be like being on here messaging " frustrating " and you've paid out money to "
They are only about sex with no connection if you don't bother to make one.
But you can say more in 10 minutes of face to face chit-chat than you can in 3 months of back and forth messages on the Internet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The conversation is a tricky part. Generally as people don't like rejection. It's hard to know who will find you attractive.
We tend to go and sit together first and that chit-chat you see us doing can be anything, but sometimes it's a brief yes/no check.
If she likes a couple but I don't then it would be embarrassing to make an approach only for the other half to later say erm no thanks.
But then we will try chatting to people. Saying hi on fab previously to going is always a good ice breaker and you can use it on a couple if you've not chatted on fab.
Hi are you jane and Dave from fab.
Oh no sorry you looked familiar but we've never traded face pics.
Love you outfit etc etc
A little white lie to get the conversation going. Or another standard opening line is hi have you guys been here before.
Corny and predictable but it gets people talking about the place or other places they've been too.
After some minutes if we find no chemistry we'll say we are going for a drink or a look about.
If there is some chemistry but they have not mentioned wanting to play with us we'll say we are going somewhere but they are welcome to join us.
Obviously if we've already got onto I'd love to fuck you then there is no need to be so cautious.
Last time we went to a club we ended up in the hot tub with 5 couples just chatting it was great. Didn't play with any of them (maybe we weren't their type)
But it was nice just being naked and chatting.
But just goes to show just saying hi to someone does not mean you are committed to fucking them.
But it does help."
 Great tips. |
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"
Great tips. "
We still get nervous and if there are no spare seats it can be trickier as you don't want to hover over people.
We are far from a polished act we still get it wrong but thankfully no one has ever said yuck just for saying hi. |
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Interesting post. We have gone to some clubs as a couple and met people just walking about - it seems easier to interact when standing up. We find it much harder to approach people sitting down on their own.
I (m) have also gone on my own (no play), but interested to meet people and see who goes to meet up later.
Whichever way we do it, we always have fun, it can be hard to break the ice, in many ways it is actually easier as a single guy as it is only 3 people who have to like each other & often if the lady likes you their partner is ok.
For some reason we find swingers clubs way easier than night clubs to meet people...
It can also help a lot to advertise you are going, reach out to people who are going and ask club staff to introduce you.
Enjoy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We go to clubs to have sex, fun and satisfy our fantasies. We don't go to make friends. Having said that we have found all the clubs we have tried so far to be very friendly places full of people we enjoy talking to. Sorry to hear that the OP's experiences are quite different.hey you hit the nail on the head clubs are all about sex with no connection not for me I'm afraid and for single guys why would you spend all that money it must be like being on here messaging " frustrating " and you've paid out money to "
Swingers clubs, fab or whatever way you use to meet someone will be whatever you choose it to be. If you go into a club and don't speak to anybody then whose fault is it if you don't do anything or any sex you do have is with no connection?
We go to clubs because it's a kinda like a pub or bar but more relaxing. We have no expectations of playing with anyone (and sometimes we haven't) but we'll happily chat to people. Going on party nights best or some clubs hold a social where it's not dressed down and free entry
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"
Last time we went to a club we ended up in the hot tub with 5 couples just chatting it was great. Didn't play with any of them (maybe we weren't their type)
But it was nice just being naked and chatting.
"
Oh, you so were!   |
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"
Last time we went to a club we ended up in the hot tub with 5 couples just chatting it was great. Didn't play with any of them (maybe we weren't their type)
But it was nice just being naked and chatting.
Oh, you so were! "
I think that may count as fishing for compliments.
You guys were lots of fun too. We'll have to catch you on your next world tour.
 |
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"
Last time we went to a club we ended up in the hot tub with 5 couples just chatting it was great. Didn't play with any of them (maybe we weren't their type)
But it was nice just being naked and chatting.
Oh, you so were!
I think that may count as fishing for compliments.
You guys were lots of fun too. We'll have to catch you on your next world tour.
"
Haha cast your rod and reel us in. It certainly worked
Yeah you guys were cool so I'm sure we'll meet again on our conquer the world club swinging tour! haha
Keeping in line with the thread, our view would be predominantly from a couples only night. For the most part we have found them pretty social and maybe the dynamics are different, which makes conversation a lot smoother and easier to engage with people.
Though we are both very sociable people and we don't have issues going up to strangers and speaking to them (God! Our parents will be livid after all the lessons in life they taught us! Lol).
We also spot the newbies and go and speak to them and introduce them to friends or others, as we appreciate not everyone is like us, or they're a little nervous and need a helping hand.
But overall it's been positive whether it's a mf or ff couple or a single fem.
Not sure if it is about the club but maybe the type of night.
I do feel for the single men. It is a tough job finding the balance of not sitting back but not being targeted as pushy or in your face.
I personally when a single pringle didn't like the clubs for a number of reasons but did venture to them a few times but that was because of pre-arranged meets with couples & once in Florida when I had nothing better to do so decided to have a nose. I had a good time engaging with the Americans and probably being able to chat about the swinging culture between the different countries enabled me to have a unique conversation that then went on to some fun (which they instigated).
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The conversation is a tricky part. Generally as people don't like rejection. It's hard to know who will find you attractive.
We tend to go and sit together first and that chit-chat you see us doing can be anything, but sometimes it's a brief yes/no check.
If she likes a couple but I don't then it would be embarrassing to make an approach only for the other half to later say erm no thanks.
But then we will try chatting to people. Saying hi on fab previously to going is always a good ice breaker and you can use it on a couple if you've not chatted on fab.
Hi are you jane and Dave from fab.
Oh no sorry you looked familiar but we've never traded face pics.
Love you outfit etc etc
A little white lie to get the conversation going. Or another standard opening line is hi have you guys been here before.
Corny and predictable but it gets people talking about the place or other places they've been too.
After some minutes if we find no chemistry we'll say we are going for a drink or a look about.
If there is some chemistry but they have not mentioned wanting to play with us we'll say we are going somewhere but they are welcome to join us.
Obviously if we've already got onto I'd love to fuck you then there is no need to be so cautious.
Last time we went to a club we ended up in the hot tub with 5 couples just chatting it was great. Didn't play with any of them (maybe we weren't their type)
But it was nice just being naked and chatting.
But just goes to show just saying hi to someone does not mean you are committed to fucking them.
But it does help."
Yes I agree, saying hi and other short convo starts can be great ice breakers. The trick is having the courage to approach and make the first move, which i see quite a few people have trouble with.
But like I said it's also to do with having the right mindset and mood to chat.
In my cases, when I'm in the mood to chat I can start a convo quite easily with any willing participants but those who put up an unapproachable vibe will deffo turn me right off them as I know even if I try to start thing the convo will end short and dull. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We go to clubs to have sex, fun and satisfy our fantasies. We don't go to make friends. Having said that we have found all the clubs we have tried so far to be very friendly places full of people we enjoy talking to. Sorry to hear that the OP's experiences are quite different.hey you hit the nail on the head clubs are all about sex with no connection not for me I'm afraid and for single guys why would you spend all that money it must be like being on here messaging " frustrating " and you've paid out money to "
Even if the single guys are at these places and sites just for the "hunt" it still shows a lack of respect and appreciation for these who take the swinging life seriously (which is all about socialising and having fun, not just having fun)
Although I can understand where your coming from, there should be clubs, spas, parties where all it takes is a bit of socialising to easily initiase the play with out wasting too much time IMO |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Great tips.
We still get nervous and if there are no spare seats it can be trickier as you don't want to hover over people.
We are far from a polished act we still get it wrong but thankfully no one has ever said yuck just for saying hi."
Exactly, I think it's the general fear of a horrible rejection we seem to imagine everytime.
I once been to a "speed swinging" game where we singles had to jump from table to table every 5 mins or so making a convo with either couples or two single ladies. It proved to be a great ice breaker as the host would illustrate several example topics and questions for us to use. I did enjoyed the interaction so much to the point where I felt I wanted to continue talking to that one person without suddenly jumping to the next table. Felt abit rushed but i see the purpose is to get chatting to everyone within a short space of time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Last time we went to a club we ended up in the hot tub with 5 couples just chatting it was great. Didn't play with any of them (maybe we weren't their type)
But it was nice just being naked and chatting.
Oh, you so were!
I think that may count as fishing for compliments.
You guys were lots of fun too. We'll have to catch you on your next world tour.
Haha cast your rod and reel us in. It certainly worked
Yeah you guys were cool so I'm sure we'll meet again on our conquer the world club swinging tour! haha
Keeping in line with the thread, our view would be predominantly from a couples only night. For the most part we have found them pretty social and maybe the dynamics are different, which makes conversation a lot smoother and easier to engage with people.
Though we are both very sociable people and we don't have issues going up to strangers and speaking to them (God! Our parents will be livid after all the lessons in life they taught us! Lol).
We also spot the newbies and go and speak to them and introduce them to friends or others, as we appreciate not everyone is like us, or they're a little nervous and need a helping hand.
But overall it's been positive whether it's a mf or ff couple or a single fem.
Not sure if it is about the club but maybe the type of night.
I do feel for the single men. It is a tough job finding the balance of not sitting back but not being targeted as pushy or in your face.
I personally when a single pringle didn't like the clubs for a number of reasons but did venture to them a few times but that was because of pre-arranged meets with couples & once in Florida when I had nothing better to do so decided to have a nose. I had a good time engaging with the Americans and probably being able to chat about the swinging culture between the different countries enabled me to have a unique conversation that then went on to some fun (which they instigated).
"
That's intresting to read, how easily do you think the Americans were initiating convo and playtime compared to us Brits? |
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"
Last time we went to a club we ended up in the hot tub with 5 couples just chatting it was great. Didn't play with any of them (maybe we weren't their type)
But it was nice just being naked and chatting.
Oh, you so were!
I think that may count as fishing for compliments.
You guys were lots of fun too. We'll have to catch you on your next world tour.
Haha cast your rod and reel us in. It certainly worked
Yeah you guys were cool so I'm sure we'll meet again on our conquer the world club swinging tour! haha
Keeping in line with the thread, our view would be predominantly from a couples only night. For the most part we have found them pretty social and maybe the dynamics are different, which makes conversation a lot smoother and easier to engage with people.
Though we are both very sociable people and we don't have issues going up to strangers and speaking to them (God! Our parents will be livid after all the lessons in life they taught us! Lol).
We also spot the newbies and go and speak to them and introduce them to friends or others, as we appreciate not everyone is like us, or they're a little nervous and need a helping hand.
But overall it's been positive whether it's a mf or ff couple or a single fem.
Not sure if it is about the club but maybe the type of night.
I do feel for the single men. It is a tough job finding the balance of not sitting back but not being targeted as pushy or in your face.
I personally when a single pringle didn't like the clubs for a number of reasons but did venture to them a few times but that was because of pre-arranged meets with couples & once in Florida when I had nothing better to do so decided to have a nose. I had a good time engaging with the Americans and probably being able to chat about the swinging culture between the different countries enabled me to have a unique conversation that then went on to some fun (which they instigated).
That's intresting to read, how easily do you think the Americans were initiating convo and playtime compared to us Brits?"
Hmm good question. Although I haven't got a true comparison, as I never really did the clubs as a single male, though I went many a time as a couple during mixed nights so could observe.
My experience is that I found the Americans very social, very engaging and it was very interactive. There were a few single guys that didn't say much and hovered in the background but a few like myself got involved and it was a good social.
The British accent was a focal point, which was the case in the vanilla clubs also.
But I can't make my mind up whether the experience wouldn't be reciprocated. I can't imagine an American guy coming over and being embraced by the British crowd in the way that I was over there.
I could be wrong, as the swinging culture for the most part is a friendly culture, but not too sure.
Speed swinging is genius! Definitely should be promoted in more clubs I think. A great ice breaker! |
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We have always found clubs on the whole to be friendly and most of the ugly incidents I can recall are between partners and I can count them on one hand.
Although our experience is limited to couples only nights. Barr the one night we turned up by mistake thinking it was couples only.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People go to clubs with different expectations. Some just looking to be social, others just looking to play. I've tried playing in clubs but it didn't suit me, so now only use them for social. I enjoy meeting people, but do find the expectation of playing stops me being as sociable as I'd like, which is a shame really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've found it far easier to meet new people at a club than I do in say, a pub.
I've only been to one club but I talked to loads of people.
You are all there for a similar reason so its a great ice breaker and people are expecting to be approached and spoken to |
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"People go to clubs with different expectations. Some just looking to be social, others just looking to play. I've tried playing in clubs but it didn't suit me, so now only use them for social. I enjoy meeting people, but do find the expectation of playing stops me being as sociable as I'd like, which is a shame really."
Oh you'd like us then Debs. Sometimes we talk and dance so much, we forget what we're there for and then it's closing time.  x |
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The club we go to doesn't have single guys as such, males must be accompanied. But it's always been a friendly place and we've never had any pushy guys to deal with. We've noticed a few newbies that are a bit quiet and keep to themselves but we always try to say hi and include them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Last time we went to a club we ended up in the hot tub with 5 couples just chatting it was great. Didn't play with any of them (maybe we weren't their type)
But it was nice just being naked and chatting.
Oh, you so were!
I think that may count as fishing for compliments.
You guys were lots of fun too. We'll have to catch you on your next world tour.
Haha cast your rod and reel us in. It certainly worked
Yeah you guys were cool so I'm sure we'll meet again on our conquer the world club swinging tour! haha
Keeping in line with the thread, our view would be predominantly from a couples only night. For the most part we have found them pretty social and maybe the dynamics are different, which makes conversation a lot smoother and easier to engage with people.
Though we are both very sociable people and we don't have issues going up to strangers and speaking to them (God! Our parents will be livid after all the lessons in life they taught us! Lol).
We also spot the newbies and go and speak to them and introduce them to friends or others, as we appreciate not everyone is like us, or they're a little nervous and need a helping hand.
But overall it's been positive whether it's a mf or ff couple or a single fem.
Not sure if it is about the club but maybe the type of night.
I do feel for the single men. It is a tough job finding the balance of not sitting back but not being targeted as pushy or in your face.
I personally when a single pringle didn't like the clubs for a number of reasons but did venture to them a few times but that was because of pre-arranged meets with couples & once in Florida when I had nothing better to do so decided to have a nose. I had a good time engaging with the Americans and probably being able to chat about the swinging culture between the different countries enabled me to have a unique conversation that then went on to some fun (which they instigated).
That's intresting to read, how easily do you think the Americans were initiating convo and playtime compared to us Brits?
Hmm good question. Although I haven't got a true comparison, as I never really did the clubs as a single male, though I went many a time as a couple during mixed nights so could observe.
My experience is that I found the Americans very social, very engaging and it was very interactive. There were a few single guys that didn't say much and hovered in the background but a few like myself got involved and it was a good social.
The British accent was a focal point, which was the case in the vanilla clubs also.
But I can't make my mind up whether the experience wouldn't be reciprocated. I can't imagine an American guy coming over and being embraced by the British crowd in the way that I was over there.
I could be wrong, as the swinging culture for the most part is a friendly culture, but not too sure.
Speed swinging is genius! Definitely should be promoted in more clubs I think. A great ice breaker!"
Wow, very interesting, i sure the experience must've made you more engageable as the Americans socially boosted your confidence |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've found that as a single guy, members of a naturist club are far more engaging with conversation as they seem to be more open and have no barriers about chatting. It's a far more relaxed environment. Swingers clubs seem to have everyone wandering around in towels or robes-which is a metaphor for a barrier in the first instance. It would make a far more enjoyable experience if everyone was naked to a degree. For me, a naked body shows that you are far more receptive to introductions and chat-it's a bit of a leveller as far as inhibitions go.
It doesn't have to lead to any sexual encounter. Wearing robes and towels in a swingers' club seems akin to 'folded arms'. It's only my personal opinion,but I have found naturists far more open than swingers-in the conversation sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey all, I don't really make a thread much but thought I share my thoughts on a few clubs I've been to.
Do any of yous who go to clubs ever wonder why most people don't seem of interact easily?
Yeah sure some of them get into conversations after a while and bond but that's only because they manage to "break the ice". Most others sit or stand there quiet starring at each other.
What I noticed with shy couples is that each of them have there own quite convo while observing but do this for the whole night, then they either go off alone to play privately with out any third person or so, "advertise" themselves by putting on a little foreplay publicly to try and seduse and invite any convinced players to join in or just go home.
As for the single guys, some are so pushy it looks ugly on there selfs but as for the "wallflowers" they hardly seem to make any form of interaction and initiation to chat, flirt or play unless one "brave soldier" volunteers on making the first move then the rest soon begin to follow suit like a herd.
But overall I hate to be in a enviomemt full of "ice" and prefer red hot flaming venues where people's inhibitions are at their lowest and it takes just one wink to begin a play session.
What do you all think, can you please relate to this? "
Never had a problem if im at a club and want too play I just jump on the round bed and roar lol conversation comes after lol |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
some people use the bar area... i use the outside area of my local club... even though i don't smoke anymore i still find being outside and smokers tend to be much more socialable
i find that every good conversation starts with the word "hello" and then they go from there! so just because you happen to be in a swinging club, the m.o doesn't have to be sex 24/7, in fact, the opposite is true in that general chatter gets a better feel for people...
i think i have a very dry sense of humour so sometimes that comes out better when i know people a little |
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"
Last time we went to a club we ended up in the hot tub with 5 couples just chatting it was great. Didn't play with any of them (maybe we weren't their type)
But it was nice just being naked and chatting.
Oh, you so were!
I think that may count as fishing for compliments.
You guys were lots of fun too. We'll have to catch you on your next world tour.
Haha cast your rod and reel us in. It certainly worked
Yeah you guys were cool so I'm sure we'll meet again on our conquer the world club swinging tour! haha
Keeping in line with the thread, our view would be predominantly from a couples only night. For the most part we have found them pretty social and maybe the dynamics are different, which makes conversation a lot smoother and easier to engage with people.
Though we are both very sociable people and we don't have issues going up to strangers and speaking to them (God! Our parents will be livid after all the lessons in life they taught us! Lol).
We also spot the newbies and go and speak to them and introduce them to friends or others, as we appreciate not everyone is like us, or they're a little nervous and need a helping hand.
But overall it's been positive whether it's a mf or ff couple or a single fem.
Not sure if it is about the club but maybe the type of night.
I do feel for the single men. It is a tough job finding the balance of not sitting back but not being targeted as pushy or in your face.
I personally when a single pringle didn't like the clubs for a number of reasons but did venture to them a few times but that was because of pre-arranged meets with couples & once in Florida when I had nothing better to do so decided to have a nose. I had a good time engaging with the Americans and probably being able to chat about the swinging culture between the different countries enabled me to have a unique conversation that then went on to some fun (which they instigated).
That's intresting to read, how easily do you think the Americans were initiating convo and playtime compared to us Brits?
Hmm good question. Although I haven't got a true comparison, as I never really did the clubs as a single male, though I went many a time as a couple during mixed nights so could observe.
My experience is that I found the Americans very social, very engaging and it was very interactive. There were a few single guys that didn't say much and hovered in the background but a few like myself got involved and it was a good social.
The British accent was a focal point, which was the case in the vanilla clubs also.
But I can't make my mind up whether the experience wouldn't be reciprocated. I can't imagine an American guy coming over and being embraced by the British crowd in the way that I was over there.
I could be wrong, as the swinging culture for the most part is a friendly culture, but not too sure.
Speed swinging is genius! Definitely should be promoted in more clubs I think. A great ice breaker!
Wow, very interesting, i sure the experience must've made you more engageable as the Americans socially boosted your confidence "
Hmm not sure. May have contributed but in my job, you have to have confidence speaking and presenting in front of sometimes over 100 people, DJing, teaching, coaching, singing (badly I hasten to add) in front of 150/200 people, being captain of the football team and travelling on my own.
I think various things in my life built my character and probably gave me the confidence in the first place to visit a club on my own, more than the experience itself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People go to clubs with different expectations. Some just looking to be social, others just looking to play. I've tried playing in clubs but it didn't suit me, so now only use them for social. I enjoy meeting people, but do find the expectation of playing stops me being as sociable as I'd like, which is a shame really."
And this is the reason we stopped going to clubs .
With no disrespect , we used to go to clubs to play , and it seemed more and more were going to make friends , and socialise .
Couples nights seemed to be more of a piss up , and the same groups would congregate and become louder and louder as the drink flowed .
So as you say , different strokes for different folks and for completely the opposite side , it's a shame . |
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We use clubs as we just don't have the time to meet socially first.
But it does not mean we run around like wild guys demanding a fuck off everyone.
We are more than happy to spend 30 minutes to an hour socialising. If we don't take others fancy or they don't take ours it's still fun to play by ourselves at the club.
It's not everyday we can fuck with a mirror on the ceiling or play on a swinging bed, getting sucked off in a jacuzzi or sauna, even just fucking and making as much noise as we like without worrying about waking the kids or disturbing the neighbourhood is a bonus.
We go to play but you can be social too. |
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"We use clubs as we just don't have the time to meet socially first.
But it does not mean we run around like wild guys demanding a fuck off everyone.
We are more than happy to spend 30 minutes to an hour socialising. If we don't take others fancy or they don't take ours it's still fun to play by ourselves at the club.
It's not everyday we can fuck with a mirror on the ceiling or play on a swinging bed, getting sucked off in a jacuzzi or sauna, even just fucking and making as much noise as we like without worrying about waking the kids or disturbing the neighbourhood is a bonus.
We go to play but you can be social too."
Totally agree! I think swinging has evolved so much that the definition of swinging has changed.
We were talking to C & T who run Secrets about this and how ten years ago, their first parties were a bit hardcore and full on. Now there's a more social element to them and that has come with a younger generation of swingers.
That's not to say that older swingers just want to just fuck and get dirty and younger ones just want to party.
Nevertheless, it is evident that it's becoming a divide and I hear this argument more and more.
I think it's probably a great opportunity for clubs to acknowledge this and maybe cater for both ends of the spectrum.
They could simply section an area of club and call it hardcore (for example). The idea being that anyone that hangs out in this room is here to get "stuck in" a bit quicker than the more social areas.
(Though this is pretty much as it is anyway. Maybe it just needs to be highlighted and make people consciously aware)
Or maybe a themed night aimed specifically for the folk that want to just get down and dirty. "Don't talk, just fuck!". It could be a retro night in fancy dress where people dress up like the old 80s German/Dutch porn stars and have extremely dodgy music in the background  |
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