FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Let down..
Let down..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just a whinge really... We are pretty new to this world and hubby and I found someone we felt comfortable with for our first MMF. It's hard to meet together for socials as we both work full time and have a little boy. Anyhow, spent the whole week getting really excited and a little scared and then he blew us out... Took such a long time to find someone we felt comfortable with that I just feel a bit peeved ...
Moan over ...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It happens unfortunately, and its a shame it was for your first meet from FS.
Try not to get too disheartened, there are plenty of genuine's on here and are definitely worth the wait  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It happens unfortunately, and its a shame it was for your first meet from FS.
Try not to get too disheartened, there are plenty of genuine's on here and are definitely worth the wait "
Yea thanks... Hate being self pitying but am now left thinking maybe it's me!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"They say week is a long time in politics, its even longer in the swinging world....
I prefer to go to clubs and take it as it comes .....  "
Yea we do that too... Just hard to get to clubs due to childcare |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They say week is a long time in politics, its even longer in the swinging world....
I prefer to go to clubs and take it as it comes .....
Yea we do that too... Just hard to get to clubs due to childcare "
Don't get me wrong...its great to build up a rapport on here...but too many variables.. |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"It happens unfortunately, and its a shame it was for your first meet from FS.
Try not to get too disheartened, there are plenty of genuine's on here and are definitely worth the wait
Yea thanks... Hate being self pitying but am now left thinking maybe it's me! "
I doubt very much it is you! You look and sound a nice couple, don't be too disheartened, by this experience. It does happen. He could have been a wannabee or even married!! Or he may have just chickened out. Don't let it put you off, there are many genuine people on here and obviously, it is his loss!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It happens unfortunately, and its a shame it was for your first meet from FS.
Try not to get too disheartened, there are plenty of genuine's on here and are definitely worth the wait
Yea thanks... Hate being self pitying but am now left thinking maybe it's me! "
After looking at your pics, it certainly isn't you with a problem, he got cold feet, now he's sitting at home wondering why he messed you around. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a whinge really... We are pretty new to this world and hubby and I found someone we felt comfortable with for our first MMF. It's hard to meet together for socials as we both work full time and have a little boy. Anyhow, spent the whole week getting really excited and a little scared and then he blew us out... Took such a long time to find someone we felt comfortable with that I just feel a bit peeved ...
Moan over ... "
"blew us out" is a little ambiguous
Did he give reason\notice\ was he polite\rude about it?
Can't automatically lay blame on him without an understanding of what it was he actually did,
Definitely not you guys, there will be missed meets for one reason or another, shake it off and onto the next, fully appreciate the frustration but don't let one missed meet put you off though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have had the same thing, we like to take things slowly and anjoy the build up, but sadly a lot of people on here are just looking to see what they can get right now and won't take the time we need.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just a whinge really... We are pretty new to this world and hubby and I found someone we felt comfortable with for our first MMF. It's hard to meet together for socials as we both work full time and have a little boy. Anyhow, spent the whole week getting really excited and a little scared and then he blew us out... Took such a long time to find someone we felt comfortable with that I just feel a bit peeved ...
Moan over ...
"blew us out" is a little ambiguous
Did he give reason\notice\ was he polite\rude about it?
Can't automatically lay blame on him without an understanding of what it was he actually did,
Definitely not you guys, there will be missed meets for one reason or another, shake it off and onto the next, fully appreciate the frustration but don't let one missed meet put you off though"
Well we had it in the diary and he made other plans and said he would msg to see if he could come by before his other arrangement but then didn't msg at all! Annoying because it meant we couldnt have arranged anything else even if we wanted to! |
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"Just a whinge really... We are pretty new to this world and hubby and I found someone we felt comfortable with for our first MMF. It's hard to meet together for socials as we both work full time and have a little boy. Anyhow, spent the whole week getting really excited and a little scared and then he blew us out... Took such a long time to find someone we felt comfortable with that I just feel a bit peeved ...
Moan over ...
"blew us out" is a little ambiguous
Did he give reason\notice\ was he polite\rude about it?
Can't automatically lay blame on him without an understanding of what it was he actually did,
Definitely not you guys, there will be missed meets for one reason or another, shake it off and onto the next, fully appreciate the frustration but don't let one missed meet put you off though
Well we had it in the diary and he made other plans and said he would msg to see if he could come by before his other arrangement but then didn't msg at all! Annoying because it meant we couldnt have arranged anything else even if we wanted to! "
If he hadn't even confirmed arrangements with you I wouldn't say it was a blow out or time wasting. We prefer clubs to avoid this confusion. You can still just socialise but plenty more people to chat or play with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get meets arranged then when the day comes, they either delete message, or ignore, or not online then block. Likely get better offers , then whinge on status for being let down. Serves em fuckin right !  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyway... Onwards and upwards as they say "
His loss totaly i have never let anyone down think there is a lot bottle it on here i shit myself first meet but turned up and loved it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I get meets arranged then when the day comes, they either delete message, or ignore, or not online then block. Likely get better offers , then whinge on status for being let down. Serves em fuckin right ! "
That's crap too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly it happens too often on this site.
No doubt some sanctimonious tosser will post a message at some point boasting that it never happens to them because they are too clever. Followed by a lecture on where you went wrong.
The reality is it happens to us all. You can cut the chances of it happening but sadly in reality its ultimately unavoidable.
When it all works out though it more than compensates for the disappointments. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sadly it happens too often on this site.
No doubt some sanctimonious tosser will post a message at some point boasting that it never happens to them because they are too clever. Followed by a lecture on where you went wrong.
The reality is it happens to us all. You can cut the chances of it happening but sadly in reality its ultimately unavoidable.
When it all works out though it more than compensates for the disappointments."
Thanks sweetie x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happens a lot but some are just caught up in everyday life others well they are just wasting oxygen on here but that the way life goes onwards and upwards xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a whinge really... We are pretty new to this world and hubby and I found someone we felt comfortable with for our first MMF. It's hard to meet together for socials as we both work full time and have a little boy. Anyhow, spent the whole week getting really excited and a little scared and then he blew us out... Took such a long time to find someone we felt comfortable with that I just feel a bit peeved ...
Moan over ... "
I've been on here 2 years and arranged 4 meets for this week with single men and all 4 blew me out....there's apparently something going on with the moon tonight (according to Facebook!) so maybe that has something to do with it |
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Such a shame...I am down the road and could have popped by for a social.
Maybe make you realise that all singlemales on here aren't the same.
Chin up and it won't be long until you find the right guy.
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By *acLe0dMan
over a year ago
Preston |
I suspect it was his loss, but their might be extenuating circumstances why he had to cancel. Though the question is did he at least have the curtesy to let you know before hand. Still plenty of fish left in the sea to build up a rapport with.
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"Just a whinge really... We are pretty new to this world and hubby and I found someone we felt comfortable with for our first MMF. It's hard to meet together for socials as we both work full time and have a little boy. Anyhow, spent the whole week getting really excited and a little scared and then he blew us out... Took such a long time to find someone we felt comfortable with that I just feel a bit peeved ...
Moan over ... "
. How far was he proposing to travel?. Had you chatted on the phone and is so what was the feedback?. While missing a meet may be disappointing , it is probably best to assume that it may not happen unless you have confirmed by phone about an hour before the meet and in addition taken various other factors into account . If in doubt don't go and you will not be disappointed .
After a no show , you usually brush up on your techniques and with luck it does not happen again..
Good luck in your search |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks lovely people... I do generally like to think the best of people. Perhaps he fell down a manhole, was kidnapped by Martians or was mistaken for a Mafia boss and arrested by the FBI. It was the lack of contact that peeved me. We had been chatting for months, cammed a few times plus met for a social so it all seemed great and I felt I could trust him. Will try not to let this make me cynical... Just a bit of a kick in the proverbial goolies x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Name and shame him. You look beautiful so im sure its not you. Dont worry, you will now be bombarded with messages and invites. Good luck"
And thank you xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just a whinge really... We are pretty new to this world and hubby and I found someone we felt comfortable with for our first MMF. It's hard to meet together for socials as we both work full time and have a little boy. Anyhow, spent the whole week getting really excited and a little scared and then he blew us out... Took such a long time to find someone we felt comfortable with that I just feel a bit peeved ...
Moan over ...
I've been on here 2 years and arranged 4 meets for this week with single men and all 4 blew me out....there's apparently something going on with the moon tonight (according to Facebook!) so maybe that has something to do with it "
Well that sucks! Sorry to hear that... Full moon turning some men into Arses |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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U get time wasters and fantasist but Can usually tell by how they talkin or how long been on site what experience on profile , it when they turn up and are so nervouse it awkward and u waste time Even botherin , why come if scared feel bad and some how guilty lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So far I've been lucky and not had a let down but I suspect it will happen one day.
You've got a few good veris OP, so it's not you and hopefully the veris show you that not all members are a dissapointment.
Better luck and a lot more fun next time OP.  |
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His loss, nice profile, stunning photos, good verie's.
Sounds like he missed out and could not walk the walk.
Pkenty more to choose from.
One thing I would say is to get them to book the room and send the resavation number to you so one uou can check it's real and two it proves he's up for it and thirdly if he doesn't turn up you can still have your fun at his expense. |
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"We have had the same thing, we like to take things slowly and anjoy the build up, but sadly a lot of people on here are just looking to see what they can get right now and won't take the time we need. "
People use the site how they want. YOU want a long, drawn out affair, others want to "meet now!" The trick is finding compatible playmates, not slagging of those that take a different approach to your own.
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"Just a whinge really... We are pretty new to this world and hubby and I found someone we felt comfortable with for our first MMF. It's hard to meet together for socials as we both work full time and have a little boy. Anyhow, spent the whole week getting really excited and a little scared and then he blew us out... Took such a long time to find someone we felt comfortable with that I just feel a bit peeved ...
Moan over ...
"blew us out" is a little ambiguous
Did he give reason\notice\ was he polite\rude about it?
Can't automatically lay blame on him without an understanding of what it was he actually did,
Definitely not you guys, there will be missed meets for one reason or another, shake it off and onto the next, fully appreciate the frustration but don't let one missed meet put you off though
Well we had it in the diary and he made other plans and said he would msg to see if he could come by before his other arrangement but then didn't msg at all! Annoying because it meant we couldnt have arranged anything else even if we wanted to! "
In fairness then it wasn't a confirmed meet was it? |
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"Well we had confirmed the day and venue... I had assumed that was making a plan
It felt like a plan ...  "
Cross wires. It just goes to show. From your initial op it seemed you were waiting, legs akimbo and he didn't appear. Now we learn it was a tenuous arrangement with no firm confirmation.
I don't think it fair to place the blame entirely on one party.
Look at it as a learning curve for next time.
Good luck. |
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"Sadly it happens too often on this site.
No doubt some sanctimonious tosser will post a message at some point boasting that it never happens to them because they are too clever. Followed by a lecture on where you went wrong.
The reality is it happens to us all. You can cut the chances of it happening but sadly in reality its ultimately unavoidable.
When it all works out though it more than compensates for the disappointments."
Call it sanctimonious if you like but in seven years it's never happened to me. Not because I'm God's gift but because I set the meet rules and it's in my house!
If I had to travel, arrange child care etc then I'd probably have my share of "blow outs" too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sadly it happens too often on this site.
No doubt some sanctimonious tosser will post a message at some point boasting that it never happens to them because they are too clever. Followed by a lecture on where you went wrong.
The reality is it happens to us all. You can cut the chances of it happening but sadly in reality its ultimately unavoidable.
When it all works out though it more than compensates for the disappointments.
Call it sanctimonious if you like but in seven years it's never happened to me. Not because I'm God's gift but because I set the meet rules and it's in my house!
If I had to travel, arrange child care etc then I'd probably have my share of "blow outs" too. "
Erm.. This was in my house!! Haha
Maybe normal rules and courteousness don't apply with swinging ... But if this was a plan in the normal world then I would expect someone to message when they couldn't turn up. Even if it's to say they have a better offer. But maybe that's just manners...
As for not thinking it's his loss. Not saying it was! Just weird to be pursued since day 1 by someone, build a rapport over months, talk and cam and then not have the decency to message. It was only a whinge and perhaps he does have his own side... Was only asking for common courtesy that's all. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well we had confirmed the day and venue... I had assumed that was making a plan
It felt like a plan ...
Cross wires. It just goes to show. From your initial op it seemed you were waiting, legs akimbo and he didn't appear. Now we learn it was a tenuous arrangement with no firm confirmation.
I don't think it fair to place the blame entirely on one party.
Look at it as a learning curve for next time.
Good luck. "
And clearly that's where we went wrong! Not waiting legs akimbo!! I assumed you start with a drink and hello. Wow I reall am new to this |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We have had the same thing, we like to take things slowly and anjoy the build up, but sadly a lot of people on here are just looking to see what they can get right now and won't take the time we need.
People use the site how they want. YOU want a long, drawn out affair, others want to "meet now!" The trick is finding compatible playmates, not slagging of those that take a different approach to your own.
"
I didn't want to marry him!! Just turn up!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we have hardly had anyone interested in us over the last 5 years and the small handfull who have been interested have turned out to be total timewasters, we are at the point of deleting. we feel for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we have hardly had anyone interested in us over the last 5 years and the small handfull who have been interested have turned out to be total timewasters, we are at the point of deleting. we feel for you"
there loss you look like a couple who enjoy yourselves
But life in the swinging world is so fickle |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"we have hardly had anyone interested in us over the last 5 years and the small handfull who have been interested have turned out to be total timewasters, we are at the point of deleting. we feel for you"
So annoying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we have hardly had anyone interested in us over the last 5 years and the small handfull who have been interested have turned out to be total timewasters, we are at the point of deleting. we feel for you
So annoying "
so depressing, makes us feel like there is something drastically wrong with us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Without this sounding like a criticism because it really isn't. ..I think the more limited your free time to play, and the more picky you are, the more expectations you put on having that one guy be a perfect meet.
So when he cancels it feels very disappointing.
The best advice is to keep on going, brush it off and plan for the next one.
You never know,he may have had a real reason for cancelling, and can reschedule! ! X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yea I'm over it now... Was just a rant at the time. He didn't give one. No mesg at all. I think you're right tho about the free time and selectiveness thing. We will bounce back.... Boing! |
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By *av1970Man
over a year ago
Tattershall |
Unfortunately it seems to happen all too frequently, males / females and couples from what i read on here.
Judging from your profile and the photos, congrats by the way and fab'd a few, his loss i would say.
As you say, chin up and carry on...or 'calm down and keep swinging'  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They say week is a long time in politics, its even longer in the swinging world....
I prefer to go to clubs and take it as it comes .....
Yea we do that too... Just hard to get to clubs due to childcare "
v
He was proberly looking for his blind dog that wandered off that stopped him meeting you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"They say week is a long time in politics, its even longer in the swinging world....
I prefer to go to clubs and take it as it comes .....
Yea we do that too... Just hard to get to clubs due to childcare v
He was proberly looking for his blind
dog that wandered off that stopped him meeting you "
|
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"It happens unfortunately, and its a shame it was for your first meet from FS.
Try not to get too disheartened, there are plenty of genuine's on here and are definitely worth the wait
Yea thanks... Hate being self pitying but am now left thinking maybe it's me! "
Looking at your pictures I think it's safe to say it's not you! Very nice. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It happens unfortunately, and its a shame it was for your first meet from FS.
Try not to get too disheartened, there are plenty of genuine's on here and are definitely worth the wait
Yea thanks... Hate being self pitying but am now left thinking maybe it's me!
Looking at your pictures I think it's safe to say it's not you! Very nice. X"
Thanks xxxxx yours looks gorgeous! |
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