FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > inpolite or maybe just stuck up
inpolite or maybe just stuck up
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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we have not been on here very long how ever the amount of rude people on here is unreal.
Asked for a party invite today they asked for face pictures. I said we can verify by web cam. Reply to that was inpolite and a block for no apparent reason. This isnt the first time this has happened. I wouldnt mind but the couple was no oil painting! So i was wondering if couples who hold partys only pick people who they would play with or do they consider other people who are attending? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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we have held partys before and we never ever judge any one on looks size or general appearance! We are a good looking couple and have had some amazing times. But for people attending who we have never met how do we know what their types are? Answer is we dont! Would you go to a restaurant and order every1 a curry coz you like it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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have you held swinging parties. We hold them regularly, only small ones and you have to work hard to get the right people together.
They probably asked you for photos just to get an idea. When you said we can go on cam they may not have had time or may have thought you were just after cam fun. I don't think their intention would have been rude but may have jumped to conclusions due to past experiences. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"we have not been on here very long how ever the amount of rude people on here is unreal.
Asked for a party invite today they asked for face pictures. I said we can verify by web cam. Reply to that was inpolite and a block for no apparent reason. This isnt the first time this has happened. I wouldnt mind but the couple was no oil painting! So i was wondering if couples who hold partys only pick people who they would play with or do they consider other people who are attending?" people have different criteria for parties , of course they are going to pick people they want to play with or are suitable for their other guests, parties i have been to have been by invitation only and i have met the hosts previously...i have never understood why people invite people to private parties they have never met. Each to their own i spose |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"don't think they should have blocked you though, I agree that is a bit rude."
Blocking isn't reaaly rude...I don't think all the people that have blocked me are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel it's rude in the sense that it assumes that if they did not block you then you would get on their nerves.
This has never been the case with anyone we have not chosen to play with. The only couple who ever blocked us were a couple of timewasters who blocked us when Tiger told them off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"don't think they should have blocked you though, I agree that is a bit rude.
Blocking isn't reaaly rude...I don't think all the people that have blocked me are."
"all"? ye gods man, how many are there?!!
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and what was your crime?
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blocking is a right and i think it has advantages both ways...if they don't want to hear from you, you won't be wasting your time messaging them! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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i agree some have certain criterias. Some partys only invite slim women. Some no squirters allowed. Bareback only and so on. Why advertise a party and just be dam rite rude to people? 4th time its happened since we joined. We have no face pics on here but we have a web cam. So why are people so quick to dismiss? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"don't think they should have blocked you though, I agree that is a bit rude.
Blocking isn't reaaly rude...I don't think all the people that have blocked me are.
"all"? ye gods man, how many are there?!!
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and what was your crime?
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blocking is a right and i think it has advantages both ways...if they don't want to hear from you, you won't be wasting your time messaging them!"
Plenty |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"i agree some have certain criterias. Some partys only invite slim women. Some no squirters allowed. Bareback only and so on. Why advertise a party and just be dam rite rude to people? 4th time its happened since we joined. We have no face pics on here but we have a web cam. So why are people so quick to dismiss? " i think there are a large percentage of ppl who can talk the talk but cant walk the walk....get yourself to some socials and get your selves "known" and if they have been rude , would you really want to attend their parties anyway?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i agree some have certain criterias. Some partys only invite slim women. Some no squirters allowed. Bareback only and so on. Why advertise a party and just be dam rite rude to people? 4th time its happened since we joined. We have no face pics on here but we have a web cam. So why are people so quick to dismiss? "
Tiger and I won't go on cam really, we don't have the time and some peeps have mucked us about on cam it can be a wind up. We have a couple of face and normal clothes pics which we keep private and send out on here when needed. They can come in useful. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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well thats what we want to do socials and partys but we not getting anywhere! Surely if they read your profile and verifications they would see your genuine? I think we have no option but to upload face pics. Only problem is our jobs working with members of the public id die if got recognised could loose my job! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when you upload them mark them as private only. peeps on your friends list will not have access to them. You can choose carefully who you send them to.
A lot of peeps on here have the same dilema, ourselves included. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well thats what we want to do socials and partys but we not getting anywhere! Surely if they read your profile and verifications they would see your genuine? I think we have no option but to upload face pics. Only problem is our jobs working with members of the public id die if got recognised could loose my job!"
Don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well thats what we want to do socials and partys but we not getting anywhere! Surely if they read your profile and verifications they would see your genuine? I think we have no option but to upload face pics. Only problem is our jobs working with members of the public id die if got recognised could loose my job!
Don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable!"
he is right there and that is why we choose not to cam. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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on another website we had a guy take al our piks and put them on a local girls site. So we very careful and hate people wanting to keep pics now so cam works fos us. Gues face pik but blankd out eyes could just do it x |
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"well thats what we want to do socials and partys but we not getting anywhere! Surely if they read your profile and verifications they would see your genuine? I think we have no option but to upload face pics. Only problem is our jobs working with members of the public id die if got recognised could loose my job!"
Why not just upload so that you only attach when a request is made. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It just goes to show how we all see things from different points of _iew: I don't see the couple who blocked as rude.
This site allows you to upload a face pic and keep it private, therefore there's no reason not to have one to attach to a pm. My face pic is the one I have on full _iew on Facebook, Bebo, My Space etc. I only send my pic to people who have sent me theirs, and if someone has "seen" me from my professional life then guess what, if they are on here they're not going to blab it!
I've had men tell me they can't add photos because of their jobs but send them my phone/msn and they'll send me a pic. I'm a solicitor, I have a face pic up, I'm not sending my contact details to strangers!
I don't like to cam and I'm not alone. The couple didn't see you so how can you assume they blocked you on looks?!! They probably have enough people who meet their criteria ie sending face pics to waste time with people who won't!
You contacted them knowing they wanted face pics but because you're "good looking" and they're no "oil painting" you've taken umbridge. You appear to be the rude ones and rather arrogant to boot.
But hey, that's just my take on it! |
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dont see what the problem with face pics is, yes you work with the public and would die if you were recognised.
Hello you would be turning up at a party with lots of other swingers, probably dressed sexy and not knowing who would be there, so being recognised is as easy as having a face pic on here.
At least if it wasa head shot on here it would be better to be seen by someone you work with than turning up at a party wearing provocative clothes and being recognised. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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we guna try the face pik upload then. Nah we dont go to parties in our own area. Its rare we have local meets also! I dont see our selfs as arrogant we are down to earth people. Just fed up off people on here assuming we are not a couple and we are a single male. We offer people to _iew our cam in chat but dont ask for the favour to be returned! I just think some people are to quick to judge on here and we find it rude! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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fab can be a clicky place. I say things as they are and dont mince my words! Like it or lump it. But blocking people for not having face piks i do find rude! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's too easy to see things as rude on here that aren't really.Especially when communication is largely kept written.'Blocking' is an option on this site so you have to expect people to utilise it...whatever their reasons. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we guna try the face pik upload then. Nah we dont go to parties in our own area. Its rare we have local meets also! I dont see our selfs as arrogant we are down to earth people. Just fed up off people on here assuming we are not a couple and we are a single male. We offer people to _iew our cam in chat but dont ask for the favour to be returned! I just think some people are to quick to judge on here and we find it rude!"
I also work with the public for a housing association and shifts in a pub so i dont want my face picture as a main one but i have it as private, then add it to a message if i want to.
I dont cam as i dont want to, i dont have time and i really cant be bothered to download the software onto my pc, nor am i interested in watching guys wank, hence ive little trust in webcams as it just seems to be an excuse for that reason. Thats not to say i think thats what you will do for one minute, i just dont trust them, preferring instead to meet socially though im happy to exchange email addies as i can then block if necessary |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"do u get alot of replys then bertie been male with no pic?"
I'm in a slightly different position from yourselves as I am a single male.I have to do the seeking out!...that is to say a couple or single female will always have lots of attention...so need not, if they wish not to, look at any profiles until they are approached.
I suppose then it's more down to how I speak with the ones I approach.I do have a pic on here but it is kept to send only on a private message.
If you are left, as most single men are, having to do the 'looking' it makes sense to approach the ones, only, with whom you think you may be compatible.Having said that...some I meet, some I 'chat' with, some I chat with and then find one day I am blocked!...whenever I am blocked I don't worry...I know there are many reasons why they may wish to.I don't worry about what that reason might be...and, oh yes, I have blocked too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we play with single guys but dont get many messages off them gues coz our pics are not public."
I wouldn't worry about it too much at the minute.You have had two meets in five weeks...I would say that lots of single men who join here don't even get a reply to a message in five weeks! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The subject of not wanting to be recognised comes up again and again and it's the "we might lose our jobs" take, that people most use.
If you've got provocative or "all action" pics, that can identify you, then yes, I can see your point.
If it's purely an everyday face pic, that you would put on facebook for example, then I can't see the problem.
If someone outs you, with an action pic, then yes, it can be embarrassing. If it's a face pic, that can be copied from any number of places, then you just say, yes, thats us, thats our Facebook pic.
You can deny that you have a profile on here, if you can't be identified by your profile pics.
Don't collect friends. Delete them as soon as you have met and seen each other face to face. After all, being a friend on here serves no purpose what so ever, once you have met.
Just forget the people that block you or don't want to do things like you do. There is no such thing as "swingers ettiquette". You make your rules and let other people have theirs. If your rules don't aline with theres, just say "no thanks", forget about them, and move on.
Play safe and enjoy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My advice on face pics etc would be to only use those pics that you would use on facebook etc (keeping to fabs pics rules though).
That way... If someone were to recognise you from the pic, or show them at work etc a plausable explanation would be that someone stole them from Facebook and used them on here to cause you trouble.
S. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not everyone in the world is on facebook though!...this may be the only site they use."
What difference does that make?
Only problem could be if the photo has a sites watermark on it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the fact you wouldn't send a face pic was seen as iffy to them, I have blocked people who won't send face pics, what have they got to hide?as for camming well perhaps they don't cam and that's was the reason, so don't give them a hard time, at the end of the day it's their party and they can choose who they wish!
As for the block button, what would we do without it?? |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Difference or not...if people aren't comfortable doing something they shouldn't do it.That should be everyones first rule on here." that also goes for deleting is face pics arent forthcoming.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Difference or not...if people aren't comfortable doing something they shouldn't do it.That should be everyones first rule on here.that also goes for deleting is face pics arent forthcoming.... "
Of course it does...we all make our own rules on here and that is how it should be.Everyone has the right to say yes/no/change their minds at any time...we are here for our own reasons and have no obligation, whatever, to explain ourselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But if your not prepared to show your face on fab what do you expect people to think xx"
Different people will think different things...that is the beauty of the place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That is the point really...we should all do what we think is best and works for us.Personally I keep a face pic for private messages...the couple does not.Neither is right or wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I've face pics in my private pics too but if this couple won't upload any then there's something wrong"
I think 'wrong' is a bit harsh...just their choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love how everyone becomes "no oil painting" after a refusal of some kind, you're only getting bothered because you thought you were better than them and they're not interested. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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we didnt refuse point blank about face piks was just the fact had uploaded our daily limit that day and we said we can upload them tomorrow bt its never good enough for people. So now we have face pics in private after listening to every1s _iews. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Daily limit that day,thats toffee. You have been here 5 weeks and only have 4 pics on here,you are allowed more than that,its not that hard to load one on
Maybe your the person whos not the oil painting and thats why you won't load a face pic,we like to see what we are getting!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Daily limit that day,thats toffee. You have been here 5 weeks and only have 4 pics on here,you are allowed more than that,its not that hard to load one on
Maybe your the person whos not the oil painting and thats why you won't load a face pic,we like to see what we are getting!!!!"
You can only upload 3 in 24 hours |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know that but what I am getting at is they have had 5 weeks to upload face pics but they choose not to,my answer is why,what have they to hide????"
They already explained that though, they were using their cam, why should they have done it 5 weeks ago when the cam was working for them up until now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would just like to say to the OP's that I applaud them for actually listening to the other peoples points of _iew on this thread, it is a rarity!
Also I Do understand that you may not wish to immediately reveal your identity to those asking for face pics, but these were people you wanted to party with, so they would have seen a lot more than that!
However, the one piece of advice i would impart, if I may, is that I follow my instincts about people, and I think you may have done that in your example?
And you were proved right, as these were ultimately Not people worthy of your company, were they! |
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I have to ask the question why people can't accept that not everyone chooses to do things the same way as they do?
I don't have face pics on my profile, never have on any swingers site I have been on....and it's never stopped me from getting plenty of meets.
That's how I operate, it works for me....and that's all that matters. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well thats what we want to do socials and partys but we not getting anywhere! Surely if they read your profile and verifications they would see your genuine? I think we have no option but to upload face pics. Only problem is our jobs working with members of the public id die if got recognised could loose my job!"
We both work with the public, and in the same building making us easier to recognise, and have no problems whatsoever.
The fact you don't have face pics, at least in your Private Gallery to send with messages, is most likely where your going wrong.
We and many others ignore profiles without pics and can't be bothered to mess about with web cams, especially when there are so many profiles with pics on the site.
Sorry if this sounds harsh but its just the way of things.
XXXX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to ask the question why people can't accept that not everyone chooses to do things the same way as they do?
I don't have face pics on my profile, never have on any swingers site I have been on....and it's never stopped me from getting plenty of meets.
That's how I operate, it works for me....and that's all that matters."
But then again your a single woman and everyone knows most guys would meet a single woman blindfold, in a cellar, with the lights out!
XXXX |
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No.....I e-mail a photo before I meet, I never meet blind.
And any meet I have through sites like this is always a social meet first, it's just a way of doing things that has worked well for me in the years I have been swinging.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But if the person you was meeting never sent a pic back you'd cancel the meet like anyone sensible enough on here would, no one goes in blind apart from the desperate on here who are more than happy to lower their standards
I need to see a face as I do need to fancy the person, it's a no brained really |
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I never instigate a meet, the guys write to me I write back if we match.
They send me a photo.....I send one back.
If at that point we agree to meet for a drink and chat....then that's what we do.
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"The subject of not wanting to be recognised comes up again and again and it's the "we might lose our jobs" take, that people most use.
If you've got provocative or "all action" pics, that can identify you, then yes, I can see your point.
If it's purely an everyday face pic, that you would put on facebook for example, then I can't see the problem.
If someone outs you, with an action pic, then yes, it can be embarrassing. If it's a face pic, that can be copied from any number of places, then you just say, yes, thats us, thats our Facebook pic.
"
I can see what your getting at there...but the damage is still the same..whether your full on at it of just a happy smiley pictures..your down as a swingers...people may not mention it to you..but will mention it to everyone else in the street/office etc...but thats the chance people take I guess...if they want that lifestyle that much then they are going to have to accpet the risks...they could go to the much sought after party and find someone there who knows them too..or a social...which is why we would never consider a social |
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"last week you were saying they were cliquey.
this week rude and ignorant..
hardly endearing yourself to get to party with them
"
Ever tried joining in or starting a conversation in the chatroom, without 'showing'?,Im on here most weeks and the only time people (men) will acknowledge me is when I have my boobs out...and thats normally just the time honoured 'veeeery nice'...
Anyway, this is off topic sorry. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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yer its 3in 24 hours you can upload unles ur a gold or silver member. We have took the criticisms and we now have private face piks not available on friends just ones we can attach. How ever its not the amount of pics one person has on a profile its the quality of them. To many pics can put some people off and the same with hundreds of verifications!
As a single female you get hundreds off messages and could have several meets a day and every couple is looking for you. But the quality of some single fems on here isnt great. Because fems are very popular dont let it go to ur head you could look like the back end of a bus and guys wil stil say ur gorgeous! |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
" But the quality of some single fems on here isnt great. Because fems are very popular dont let it go to ur head you could look like the back end of a bus and guys wil stil say ur gorgeous!"
the above may be the reason you don't always endear yourself to people.
just not nice
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By *ohnsusCouple
over a year ago
Chesterfield |
Never quite understood why people panic quite so much about being recognised at a swingers social, party or club. After all if that was to happen the recogniser would also be there for the same reasons. It isn't like they've wandered in off the street and gone OMG i didn't know this was a swingers do lol. Yes it may be a bit uncomfortable or mildly embarrasing but nothing more surely ? |
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"Why be ashamed of being a swinger? We are not doing anything wrong it's just a choice of lifestyle"
True...but not nice if someone says to your kids...'hey your mum and dad fuck other people'
Some people want the whole world to know..some people dont. |
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" But the quality of some single fems on here isnt great. Because fems are very popular dont let it go to ur head you could look like the back end of a bus and guys wil stil say ur gorgeous!
the above may be the reason you don't always endear yourself to people.
just not nice
"
What is he supposed to say findhorn?...its a fact...and something I noticed the other day, a woman who looked, shall we say, under the waether' and had not made any attpemt to look remotely tidy was having a little play...the comments (all from men) ranged from the chatroom standard 'very nice' ..'wow you are stunning', 'gorgeous' 'so beautiful' etc...to...'stick two more fingers in and 'stick something up your arse'
I can see the point he is making...but.... its a shallow one because beauty is only skin deep...for many people it seem on here its the personality of the people that counts..I/we find that is the biggest turn on of all..someone who makes you laugh, someone who is nice, friendly, someone who has the same morals etc..
So on that front..I make you right..he isnt going to endear himself to people.
He may note that some of the nicest and friendliest people are not 'the beautiful people...and some of those are the most boring. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
Pontardulais
'the quality of females'.... he is hardly on a quality control belt checking the stitching of a t shirt.
apart from that..... of course, different folks looking for different folks. |
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"Pontardulais
'the quality of females'.... he is hardly on a quality control belt checking the stitching of a t shirt.
apart from that..... of course, different folks looking for different folks. "
No I totally appreciate that _iew..he did say 'some'..not all and appears to be making to point that guys will praise them no matter what...obviously there is an ulterior motive...
My point was merely that the OP may want to look below the surface a little more with some people...as thats the opinion that seemed to come across..that said, they admit they 'are no oil paintings' themselves..
which, I hasten to add..is why we dont have face pics either!
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Plus..I dont think he/they intended it as a dig or to slag people off..there are always going to be issues...thats the point of a forum.."
agree, totally agree. There sure is.
Viva la forums for great healthy, respectful debate and LAUGHS xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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its actually me carol writing in this forum on this thread. We dont wish to slag any1 off thats not us! Every 1 has diff opinions and we like to hear them good and bad. We are not picky we are just lovely genuine people looking for fun. But gues some people are more hardened swingers than others and have less patience but not every couple the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are a few people on this site that have issues.
One thing alot of people dont have is manners, all it would take is a polite yes or no!!
How hard would that of been?
Instead they block you!! Thats just pathetic.
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