FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Bondage and SM play....
Bondage and SM play....
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"I recently had a meet where I was required to play a much more obviously dominant role than I am used to. It was fun and different. I'm also chatting to a woman who I hope to meet up with who is into more serious SM and bondage type play...she has expressed a desire not only to use restraints, but also to experiment with an anal hook and open mouth gag....I'm hugely turned on by the prospect of this kind of experience and very keen to try it out. What are your feelings on this kind of play?" Wonderfully liberating if you both enjoy it...  | |||
"Love it, as long as I'm the Domme." Hmm..I'm not planning on experimenting with being the sub in this kind of play...certainly not at the moment  | |||
good work, fella | |||
"You jammy bugger
good work, fella "I'm not sure that it is down to any 'good work' by me..lol...She contacted me in the first place and she is also the one who has expressed a fondness for all this kind of stuff....Think I'll be very happy to oblige though...anyway, not happened yet, so no counting of eggs at this stage... | |||
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"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x" ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!  | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!! "well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three "lol....  | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three "
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about. | |||
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"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
lol.... "I seriously hope she sees this and decides perhaps you aren't the right person to trust to tie her up. Using the fact someone is restrained to do what you want, whether the they agree or not is a huge abuse of trust. I despair sometimes. | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about."Of course I would and I'm sure the poster of this comment was just being tongue in cheek....more a reference to her inablity to move once restrained...I certainly took it as joking.... | |||
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"...in no place to refuse..." Everyone, absolutely everyone, is "in a place" to refuse anything at any time. | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
lol....
I seriously hope she sees this and decides perhaps you aren't the right person to trust to tie her up.
Using the fact someone is restrained to do what you want, whether the they agree or not is a huge abuse of trust.
I despair sometimes."Oh lighten up....it was all harmless kidding.....take a look at my veri's to get an accurate picture of what I am like...I am quite offended by the way you have falsely jumped to assumptions...  | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
Of course I would and I'm sure the poster of this comment was just being tongue in cheek....more a reference to her inablity to move once restrained...I certainly took it as joking.... "It's not funny to joke about unconsensual play. Ice been tied up and unable to stop a guy taking pictures before - it's quite a common thing. Laughing about it makes it more acceptable socially. | |||
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"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
Of course I would and I'm sure the poster of this comment was just being tongue in cheek....more a reference to her inablity to move once restrained...I certainly took it as joking....
It's not funny to joke about unconsensual play. Ice been tied up and unable to stop a guy taking pictures before - it's quite a common thing.
Laughing about it makes it more acceptable socially."OMG...you can lighten up too...I would always make sure that everything is consentual....Its the ONLY way I play...sometimes people on here not only lack a sense of humour but also completely miss the point...NOTHING SAID WAS AIMED AT MAKING ANYTHING MORE 'SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE'.... | |||
"Keep your hair on dear, it was a light hearted comment and obviously the OP would have discussed taking pics with the lady in question prior to any restraint fun" No, it's not "obvious". It's as bad taste as making sexual assault jokes. | |||
"Keep your hair on dear, it was a light hearted comment and obviously the OP would have discussed taking pics with the lady in question prior to any restraint fun" | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
Of course I would and I'm sure the poster of this comment was just being tongue in cheek....more a reference to her inablity to move once restrained...I certainly took it as joking.... "Abuse of trust and non-consensual behaviour isn't something to joke about. Nobody needs to be encouraged to think this is either acceptable or funny. I'm also not sure the poster suggesting it was joking. At all. I've heard numerous stories of non-consensual behaviour when someone was restrained. It happens far too often and it's sickening. | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about." | |||
"Keep your hair on dear, it was a light hearted comment and obviously the OP would have discussed taking pics with the lady in question prior to any restraint fun" It's not something to joke about. There's nothing light-hearted about even the suggestion. | |||
"Keep your hair on dear, it was a light hearted comment and obviously the OP would have discussed taking pics with the lady in question prior to any restraint fun No, it's not "obvious". It's as bad taste as making sexual assault jokes. " | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
"God I hate it when a harmless comment is picked up on by some highly strung individual and suddenly the whole nature and focus of a thread changes...its almost the equivalent of trolling in the case of some people and is a right pain for those who might have been enjoying the original questions raised!!  | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
lol....
I seriously hope she sees this and decides perhaps you aren't the right person to trust to tie her up.
Using the fact someone is restrained to do what you want, whether the they agree or not is a huge abuse of trust.
I despair sometimes.
Oh lighten up....it was all harmless kidding.....take a look at my veri's to get an accurate picture of what I am like...I am quite offended by the way you have falsely jumped to assumptions... "My observation is based purely on your behaviour and that you think abuse is something "light-hearted" to laugh about. | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
God I hate it when a harmless comment is picked up on by some highly strung individual and suddenly the whole nature and focus of a thread changes...its almost the equivalent of trolling in the case of some people and is a right pain for those who might have been enjoying the original questions raised!! "Just pointing out jokes like that aren't cool or funny. The appropriate response should have been "sorry, I'll think twice before I joke about sexual assault in the future" and nothing more would have been said. Instead you chose to explain why it was ok to joke about sexual assault. | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
lol....
I seriously hope she sees this and decides perhaps you aren't the right person to trust to tie her up.
Using the fact someone is restrained to do what you want, whether the they agree or not is a huge abuse of trust.
I despair sometimes.
Oh lighten up....it was all harmless kidding.....take a look at my veri's to get an accurate picture of what I am like...I am quite offended by the way you have falsely jumped to assumptions...
My observation is based purely on your behaviour and that you think abuse is something "light-hearted" to laugh about."And your assumption that I think of abuse as 'light hearted' is exactly that...an inaccurate and wildly off the mark 'assumption'... | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
God I hate it when a harmless comment is picked up on by some highly strung individual and suddenly the whole nature and focus of a thread changes...its almost the equivalent of trolling in the case of some people and is a right pain for those who might have been enjoying the original questions raised!! "And I hate it when people try to claim clearly inappropriate behaviour is "obviously" a joke and is "harmless". As Wasp Hunter said, it's akin to joking about sexual assault. It's not anything to joke about. | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
God I hate it when a harmless comment is picked up on by some highly strung individual and suddenly the whole nature and focus of a thread changes...its almost the equivalent of trolling in the case of some people and is a right pain for those who might have been enjoying the original questions raised!!
Just pointing out jokes like that aren't cool or funny.
The appropriate response should have been "sorry, I'll think twice before I joke about sexual assault in the future" and nothing more would have been said. Instead you chose to explain why it was ok to joke about sexual assault."I didn't even make the light hearted quip... | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
lol....
I seriously hope she sees this and decides perhaps you aren't the right person to trust to tie her up.
Using the fact someone is restrained to do what you want, whether the they agree or not is a huge abuse of trust.
I despair sometimes.
Oh lighten up....it was all harmless kidding.....take a look at my veri's to get an accurate picture of what I am like...I am quite offended by the way you have falsely jumped to assumptions...
My observation is based purely on your behaviour and that you think abuse is something "light-hearted" to laugh about.
And your assumption that I think of abuse as 'light hearted' is exactly that...an inaccurate and wildly off the mark 'assumption'... "It's not an assumption. You actually said just that. Like I said, I seriously hope anyone thinking of trusting you sees that you think abuse of trust is a laughing matter and "harmless". | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
God I hate it when a harmless comment is picked up on by some highly strung individual and suddenly the whole nature and focus of a thread changes...its almost the equivalent of trolling in the case of some people and is a right pain for those who might have been enjoying the original questions raised!!
Just pointing out jokes like that aren't cool or funny.
The appropriate response should have been "sorry, I'll think twice before I joke about sexual assault in the future" and nothing more would have been said. Instead you chose to explain why it was ok to joke about sexual assault.
I didn't even make the light hearted quip... "No, but you laughed along and called it light hearted. And you didn't immediately say "mate, that's not cool to make jokes about non consensual behavior". | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
God I hate it when a harmless comment is picked up on by some highly strung individual and suddenly the whole nature and focus of a thread changes...its almost the equivalent of trolling in the case of some people and is a right pain for those who might have been enjoying the original questions raised!!
Just pointing out jokes like that aren't cool or funny.
The appropriate response should have been "sorry, I'll think twice before I joke about sexual assault in the future" and nothing more would have been said. Instead you chose to explain why it was ok to joke about sexual assault.
I didn't even make the light hearted quip... "No, you just loled, and
Ask anyone who has been abused whilst restrained if they think it's a "light-hearted" joke and anything to laugh about.
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"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
God I hate it when a harmless comment is picked up on by some highly strung individual and suddenly the whole nature and focus of a thread changes...its almost the equivalent of trolling in the case of some people and is a right pain for those who might have been enjoying the original questions raised!!
Just pointing out jokes like that aren't cool or funny.
The appropriate response should have been "sorry, I'll think twice before I joke about sexual assault in the future" and nothing more would have been said. Instead you chose to explain why it was ok to joke about sexual assault.
I didn't even make the light hearted quip...
No, but you laughed along and called it light hearted. And you didn't immediately say "mate, that's not cool to make jokes about non consensual behavior"."Quite. | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
God I hate it when a harmless comment is picked up on by some highly strung individual and suddenly the whole nature and focus of a thread changes...its almost the equivalent of trolling in the case of some people and is a right pain for those who might have been enjoying the original questions raised!!
Just pointing out jokes like that aren't cool or funny.
The appropriate response should have been "sorry, I'll think twice before I joke about sexual assault in the future" and nothing more would have been said. Instead you chose to explain why it was ok to joke about sexual assault.
I didn't even make the light hearted quip...
No, but you laughed along and called it light hearted. And you didn't immediately say "mate, that's not cool to make jokes about non consensual behavior"."I'm sorry...sorry that I didn't pick up on how one or two people on here might have been so highly offended and enraged by his comment...I simply took it as a harmless little quip.....Had it been said by a Female Dom about a male sub, I'm quite sure it wouldn't have created the same level of furore!! | |||
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"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
God I hate it when a harmless comment is picked up on by some highly strung individual and suddenly the whole nature and focus of a thread changes...its almost the equivalent of trolling in the case of some people and is a right pain for those who might have been enjoying the original questions raised!!
Just pointing out jokes like that aren't cool or funny.
The appropriate response should have been "sorry, I'll think twice before I joke about sexual assault in the future" and nothing more would have been said. Instead you chose to explain why it was ok to joke about sexual assault.
I didn't even make the light hearted quip...
No, but you laughed along and called it light hearted. And you didn't immediately say "mate, that's not cool to make jokes about non consensual behavior".
I'm sorry...sorry that I didn't pick up on how one or two people on here might have been so highly offended and enraged by his comment...I simply took it as a harmless little quip.....Had it been said by a Female Dom about a male sub, I'm quite sure it wouldn't have created the same level of furore!!"My post crossed this one. I would have said exactly the same thing. It's nothing to do with the sex of the victim or perpetrator. It's about thinking abuse of trust is funny, harmless and light-hearted. I'd expect most people in the BDSM world to object to the suggestion that non-consensual acts are funny and light-hearted. Consent is not take lightly. Anyone who does think consent is optional and it's funny, is considered an abuser. | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
God I hate it when a harmless comment is picked up on by some highly strung individual and suddenly the whole nature and focus of a thread changes...its almost the equivalent of trolling in the case of some people and is a right pain for those who might have been enjoying the original questions raised!! "this
hate this kind of trolling..just takes one to ruin a thread..sorry OP.if they find you,they will always find something to criticize..because that's what they go around doing. i could tell it was a joke..have fun honey, thanks for posting something interesting x | |||
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" Consent and "no means no" are fundamental tenets of sex." And this I totally and utterly agree with...I am sorry if anything said on this thread has wrongly implied anything different | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
God I hate it when a harmless comment is picked up on by some highly strung individual and suddenly the whole nature and focus of a thread changes...its almost the equivalent of trolling in the case of some people and is a right pain for those who might have been enjoying the original questions raised!!
Just pointing out jokes like that aren't cool or funny.
The appropriate response should have been "sorry, I'll think twice before I joke about sexual assault in the future" and nothing more would have been said. Instead you chose to explain why it was ok to joke about sexual assault.
I didn't even make the light hearted quip...
No, but you laughed along and called it light hearted. And you didn't immediately say "mate, that's not cool to make jokes about non consensual behavior".
I'm sorry...sorry that I didn't pick up on how one or two people on here might have been so highly offended and enraged by his comment...I simply took it as a harmless little quip.....Had it been said by a Female Dom about a male sub, I'm quite sure it wouldn't have created the same level of furore!!
For what it's worth, I would have said the same thing. My male sub was raped while restrained in bondage and I don't fine that funny either.
I'm quite sure you would, however, I do sometimes wonder whether you are able to look at anything in life in a light hearted manner ...and no, I do not mean the rape of your male sub...I mean being perhaps overly serious in the context of pretty much everything!"I can see light-hearted things as light-hearted. I can see joking about abuse for exactly what it is and that is not light-hearted, harmless or funny in any way. | |||
"And *that* is how flame wars start - through text being completely incapable of transmitting irony, and people assuming they're posting to people who know them and know they don't actually think that. Back to the OP, that's definitely how I play. Re anal hooks, you want one where the ring lies flat on the back. There are some which have the ring perpendicular to the back, so if they're short or aren't skinny then it's going to dig in. Also there are various sizes of ball - choose depending on her anal experience. Getting them out is actually the tricky bit - you need to ease it out with gentle pressure until it comes over the top of the ball, then you need to control it being pushed out otherwise you risk a small prolapse and setting her up for piles. Basically if she moaned when it was on the way in (and she should!) then she'll be getting the same on the way out." And put a condom over it before you use it. Not only for cleanliness, but also because sometimes the balls aren't well attached to them. I disagree with you on it being tricky to get them out though, they have always come out easily for me. Just pull it down by the bottom of the hook and as long as the bottom is not clenching to keep it in (sometimes it can be fun to make them do that though) it should just come out very easily. | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
God I hate it when a harmless comment is picked up on by some highly strung individual and suddenly the whole nature and focus of a thread changes...its almost the equivalent of trolling in the case of some people and is a right pain for those who might have been enjoying the original questions raised!!
this
hate this kind of trolling..just takes one to ruin a thread..sorry OP.if they find you,they will always find something to criticize..because that's what they go around doing. i could tell it was a joke..have fun honey, thanks for posting something interesting x"Thank you for your support _uzy444 ...thank god we are not all insanely serious on these boards.. | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
God I hate it when a harmless comment is picked up on by some highly strung individual and suddenly the whole nature and focus of a thread changes...its almost the equivalent of trolling in the case of some people and is a right pain for those who might have been enjoying the original questions raised!!
this
hate this kind of trolling..just takes one to ruin a thread..sorry OP.if they find you,they will always find something to criticize..because that's what they go around doing. i could tell it was a joke..have fun honey, thanks for posting something interesting x"Pointing out that non-consensual acts and abuse of trust are not laughing matters is not trolling. It's a serious point about a serious matter. I feel sorry for anyone with insufficient empathy to see why it's not funny or harmless. Put yourself in the position of someone whose trust is abused whilst they are restrained and then tell me it's funny and harmless. I know people who've been psychologically destroyed by this kind of "harmless", "funny" behaviour. | |||
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" Just pointing out jokes like that aren't cool or funny. The appropriate response should have been "sorry, I'll think twice before I joke about sexual assault in the future" and nothing more would have been said. Instead you chose to explain why it was ok to joke about sexual assault."
Jokes about sexual assault of any kind are so completely wrong - they "normalise" something that is offensive,
A simple withdrawal and maybe an apology would have drawn good kudos - trying to justify comments does not!
| |||
" Consent and "no means no" are fundamental tenets of sex. And this I totally and utterly agree with...I am sorry if anything said on this thread has wrongly implied anything different" Thank you for clarifying that. | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
lol....
I seriously hope she sees this and decides perhaps you aren't the right person to trust to tie her up.
Using the fact someone is restrained to do what you want, whether the they agree or not is a huge abuse of trust.
I despair sometimes.
Oh lighten up....it was all harmless kidding.....take a look at my veri's to get an accurate picture of what I am like...I am quite offended by the way you have falsely jumped to assumptions... " | |||
"What a ridiculous hijack of a thread ... Respect your safe word .. I always had the principle of any pics were taken with her camera so she could do what she liked with them... Share or delete ... Her decision .. Happy playing .. Treat her right this time and there will be more in the future or at least good memories for both of you " | |||
" Just pointing out jokes like that aren't cool or funny. The appropriate response should have been "sorry, I'll think twice before I joke about sexual assault in the future" and nothing more would have been said. Instead you chose to explain why it was ok to joke about sexual assault.
Jokes about sexual assault of any kind are so completely wrong - they "normalise" something that is offensive,
A simple withdrawal and maybe an apology would have drawn good kudos - trying to justify comments does not!
" | |||
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"I just don't get some people, the forums I thought were for fun. . Obviously some people's humour isn't the same as another's . "Yes, they're here for fun, not joking about abuse. If it happened to you, you wouldn't think it was funny or harmless. I don't get some people either. In this case anyone who can joke or support someone making jokes about non-consensual behaviour. Some things are too serious to joke about. At least on of the "jokers" has clarified his position, (and knowing the attitude of the other one, I don't expect responsible behaviour from him), so unless people continue to attack me, I'll let the matter drop. I will respond to further comments about this being a joke though. Since that wasn't the original subject of the thread, anyone continuing it is as guilty as I am of taking the thread off topic. | |||
"And I'll try to ignore the fact that you regulary seem to pop up with very negative contributions to any thread or post I make..." It's not personal I'm afraid, I have no idea who you are. But if it's happening regularly, perhaps you're regularly saying things that aren't very appropriate? | |||
"And I'll try to ignore the fact that you regulary seem to pop up with very negative contributions to any thread or post I make... It's not personal I'm afraid, I have no idea who you are. But if it's happening regularly, perhaps you're regularly saying things that aren't very appropriate?" I had a look back through your posting history, and it looks like the only comment I made that was a 'negative' contribution to a post you started was one saying that phone sex isn't for me. Although you did invite opinions as to whether people liked it or not. | |||
"And put a condom over it before you use it. Not only for cleanliness, but also because sometimes the balls aren't well attached to them. I disagree with you on it being tricky to get them out though, they have always come out easily for me. Just pull it down by the bottom of the hook and as long as the bottom is not clenching to keep it in (sometimes it can be fun to make them do that though) it should just come out very easily." If the ball's not well attached, stay clear in the first place! The ball isn't just for sensation, it's to stop the bottom getting a punctured bowel! Fixing that is major surgery, and not everyone makes it. If there's even the possibility of it coming loose, chuck it and buy another. I guess how hard it is will depend on ball size and on how loose their bum is. And the problem is that once it's over the middle of the ball, it's *too* easy and their bum will pull out further than it should. Not guaranteed of course, but it's worth being careful about, because piles aren't a happy fun experience. | |||
"And put a condom over it before you use it. Not only for cleanliness, but also because sometimes the balls aren't well attached to them. I disagree with you on it being tricky to get them out though, they have always come out easily for me. Just pull it down by the bottom of the hook and as long as the bottom is not clenching to keep it in (sometimes it can be fun to make them do that though) it should just come out very easily. If the ball's not well attached, stay clear in the first place! The ball isn't just for sensation, it's to stop the bottom getting a punctured bowel! Fixing that is major surgery, and not everyone makes it. If there's even the possibility of it coming loose, chuck it and buy another. I guess how hard it is will depend on ball size and on how loose their bum is. And the problem is that once it's over the middle of the ball, it's *too* easy and their bum will pull out further than it should. Not guaranteed of course, but it's worth being careful about, because piles aren't a happy fun experience." The one I used to have that had a screw on ball (they are very, very common) I epoxy glued the ball onto the shaft. Keep in mind almost all metal sex toys are made in factories abroad, and the quality of welding isn't always very good even if you buy a welded one. | |||
"And put a condom over it before you use it. Not only for cleanliness, but also because sometimes the balls aren't well attached to them. I disagree with you on it being tricky to get them out though, they have always come out easily for me. Just pull it down by the bottom of the hook and as long as the bottom is not clenching to keep it in (sometimes it can be fun to make them do that though) it should just come out very easily. If the ball's not well attached, stay clear in the first place! The ball isn't just for sensation, it's to stop the bottom getting a punctured bowel! Fixing that is major surgery, and not everyone makes it. If there's even the possibility of it coming loose, chuck it and buy another. I guess how hard it is will depend on ball size and on how loose their bum is. And the problem is that once it's over the middle of the ball, it's *too* easy and their bum will pull out further than it should. Not guaranteed of course, but it's worth being careful about, because piles aren't a happy fun experience." I agree with this. I'd also recommend the condom because some hooks are sourced from the Far East and can be coated in metals that can irritate skin, (and anal and rectal skin is quite sensitive to irritation). Buying from a reputable, carefully chosen source is vital for anal hooks. | |||
"And put a condom over it before you use it. Not only for cleanliness, but also because sometimes the balls aren't well attached to them. I disagree with you on it being tricky to get them out though, they have always come out easily for me. Just pull it down by the bottom of the hook and as long as the bottom is not clenching to keep it in (sometimes it can be fun to make them do that though) it should just come out very easily. If the ball's not well attached, stay clear in the first place! The ball isn't just for sensation, it's to stop the bottom getting a punctured bowel! Fixing that is major surgery, and not everyone makes it. If there's even the possibility of it coming loose, chuck it and buy another. I guess how hard it is will depend on ball size and on how loose their bum is. And the problem is that once it's over the middle of the ball, it's *too* easy and their bum will pull out further than it should. Not guaranteed of course, but it's worth being careful about, because piles aren't a happy fun experience. I agree with this. I'd also recommend the condom because some hooks are sourced from the Far East and can be coated in metals that can irritate skin, (and anal and rectal skin is quite sensitive to irritation). Buying from a reputable, carefully chosen source is vital for anal hooks." The one I've been considering purchasing if the meet ends up being confirmed has the ball end actually attached (so its one solid object)as opposed to simply screwed on, which seems like a more sensible design... | |||
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" Consent and "no means no" are fundamental tenets of sex. And this I totally and utterly agree with...I am sorry if anything said on this thread has wrongly implied anything different" Good for you, and nicely said! To get back to the original question - I'm just entering the BDSM world and am learning how to be a caring, loving, respectful Domme - it isn't easy! For me it isn't about controlling or owning somebody and using them like an inanimate object - it's about a different way of loving, of giving... But I quickly realised that it's one of those things like rock-climbing, and free-fall parachuting - (also involving ropes and harnesses and other goodies!) - - you really need to take time and learn to do it properly - get all the advice that you can find and then some more, and go slowly - somebody could get hurt through a stupid mistake! Respect, talk, make agreement and follow protocol - then do the job well and you can both have the most wonderful time!!!  | |||
" Consent and "no means no" are fundamental tenets of sex. And this I totally and utterly agree with...I am sorry if anything said on this thread has wrongly implied anything different Good for you, and nicely said! To get back to the original question - I'm just entering the BDSM world and am learning how to be a caring, loving, respectful Domme - it isn't easy! For me it isn't about controlling or owning somebody and using them like an inanimate object - it's about a different way of loving, of giving... But I quickly realised that it's one of those things like rock-climbing, and free-fall parachuting - (also involving ropes and harnesses and other goodies!) - - you really need to take time and learn to do it properly - get all the advice that you can find and then some more, and go slowly - somebody could get hurt through a stupid mistake! Respect, talk, make agreement and follow protocol - then do the job well and you can both have the most wonderful time!!! "Sound advice, thank you | |||
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"For buying stuff, it's well worth going to something like the Bizarre Bazaar - you can handle the items, often talk to the people who actually make them, and sometimes get into a general chat with other people who use them - a great way to learn! It's also fun to go there with your partner - to make plans for a special trip together to buy something specific, knowing that you'll use it later! "Seconded. I love BBB | |||
"For buying stuff, it's well worth going to something like the Bizarre Bazaar - you can handle the items, often talk to the people who actually make them, and sometimes get into a general chat with other people who use them - a great way to learn! It's also fun to go there with your partner - to make plans for a special trip together to buy something specific, knowing that you'll use it later! "Where is Bizarre Bazaar?...it sounds like it would be an interesting place to visit | |||
"For buying stuff, it's well worth going to something like the Bizarre Bazaar - you can handle the items, often talk to the people who actually make them, and sometimes get into a general chat with other people who use them - a great way to learn! It's also fun to go there with your partner - to make plans for a special trip together to buy something specific, knowing that you'll use it later!
Where is Bizarre Bazaar?...it sounds like it would be an interesting place to visit"There's the Birmingham Bizarre Bazarre - which I often head up to. It's pretty good, the afterparty is ok. Or the London Fetish Fair, which is also supposed to be very good. | |||
| |||
"For buying stuff, it's well worth going to something like the Bizarre Bazaar - you can handle the items, often talk to the people who actually make them, and sometimes get into a general chat with other people who use them - a great way to learn! It's also fun to go there with your partner - to make plans for a special trip together to buy something specific, knowing that you'll use it later!
Where is Bizarre Bazaar?...it sounds like it would be an interesting place to visit
There's the Birmingham Bizarre Bazarre - which I often head up to. It's pretty good, the afterparty is ok.
Or the London Fetish Fair, which is also supposed to be very good."I've heard of the latter and it is more convenient for me as I am regularly in the big smoke...I'll have to check it out...I don't often get to Birmingham, but the after party sounda fun.. | |||
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"Also works if you search for brumbazaar It's a place to look at and buy the right stuff - not a swinger place, by the way... Cheap entry, open to all adults and street parking is free on Sundays so ignore the Parking Meters... No dress code, just go as you are (reasonably tidy!) - or take your fetish wear there and change on site... There are other similar events around the country if you search... "Yes, I was vaguely aware of thse kinds of events from playing on the fringes of the fetish scene (mainly just attending big London club nights)a few years ago and also by frequenting LFS | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
Of course I would and I'm sure the poster of this comment was just being tongue in cheek....more a reference to her inablity to move once restrained...I certainly took it as joking....
It's not funny to joke about unconsensual play. Ice been tied up and unable to stop a guy taking pictures before - it's quite a common thing.
Laughing about it makes it more acceptable socially." | |||
 | |||
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"Now that you've agreed on the consent issue, can you please explain what is "anal hook" play?" A metal hook with a ball on the hook end and a loop on the other end. The ball end is inserted into the anus and used in bondage and restraint. | |||
"I just don't get some people, the forums I thought were for fun. . Obviously some people's humour isn't the same as another's .
Yes, they're here for fun, not joking about abuse.
If it happened to you, you wouldn't think it was funny or harmless.
I don't get some people either. In this case anyone who can joke or support someone making jokes about non-consensual behaviour.
Some things are too serious to joke about.
At least on of the "jokers" has clarified his position, (and knowing the attitude of the other one, I don't expect responsible behaviour from him), so unless people continue to attack me, I'll let the matter drop.
I will respond to further comments about this being a joke though. Since that wasn't the original subject of the thread, anyone continuing it is as guilty as I am of taking the thread off topic."it has happened to me..yet i dont carry the baggage around with me, because i dealt with it..so dont assume that people who have been through it, cant get over stuff and have their GSOH intact,and remain flexible in their perception of things, instead of remaining victims all the time....that's extremely dis-empowering
you're welcome OP..don't like the thread topic, leave it alone... | |||
| |||
"I just don't get some people, the forums I thought were for fun. . Obviously some people's humour isn't the same as another's .
Yes, they're here for fun, not joking about abuse.
If it happened to you, you wouldn't think it was funny or harmless.
I don't get some people either. In this case anyone who can joke or support someone making jokes about non-consensual behaviour.
Some things are too serious to joke about.
At least on of the "jokers" has clarified his position, (and knowing the attitude of the other one, I don't expect responsible behaviour from him), so unless people continue to attack me, I'll let the matter drop.
I will respond to further comments about this being a joke though. Since that wasn't the original subject of the thread, anyone continuing it is as guilty as I am of taking the thread off topic.
it has happened to me..yet i dont carry the baggage around with me, because i dealt with it..so dont assume that people who have been through it, cant get over stuff and have their GSOH intact,and remain flexible in their perception of things, instead of remaining victims all the time....that's extremely dis-empowering
you're welcome OP..don't like the thread topic, leave it alone..."The thread topic is fine. Making a joke of non-consensual play and abuse is not. By all means continue to drag the thread off topic again though, as you are complaining I did, now it's back on track again. | |||
 | |||
"I will admit that an Anal Hook (a big one!) is on my next shopping list when I can afford it.... There were some lovely ones at the last Bazaar, but I spent out on other things - mostly a beautiful, very long and swishy grey fox-tail butt plug..... plus some paddles and floggers.... and some other stuff.... Be warned - this is an expensive hobby!!! "I want a bunny tail butt plug
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"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying trhe meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!! "Do you have much experience tying/restraining people | |||
"Brum. You also have the option of LAM and LFF in London, within fairly easy reach. Both very recommended. " LFF is (I think) on hiatus at the moment due to a lack if suitable venue. In my opinion BBB is a far better event than LAM | |||
"I just don't get some people, the forums I thought were for fun. . Obviously some people's humour isn't the same as another's .
Yes, they're here for fun, not joking about abuse.
If it happened to you, you wouldn't think it was funny or harmless.
I don't get some people either. In this case anyone who can joke or support someone making jokes about non-consensual behaviour.
Some things are too serious to joke about.
At least on of the "jokers" has clarified his position, (and knowing the attitude of the other one, I don't expect responsible behaviour from him), so unless people continue to attack me, I'll let the matter drop.
I will respond to further comments about this being a joke though. Since that wasn't the original subject of the thread, anyone continuing it is as guilty as I am of taking the thread off topic.
it has happened to me..yet i dont carry the baggage around with me, because i dealt with it..so dont assume that people who have been through it, cant get over stuff and have their GSOH intact,and remain flexible in their perception of things, instead of remaining victims all the time....that's extremely dis-empowering
you're welcome OP..don't like the thread topic, leave it alone...
The thread topic is fine.
Making a joke of non-consensual play and abuse is not.
By all means continue to drag the thread off topic again though, as you are complaining I did, now it's back on track again."I have to agree. A lot of subs will run a mile from an inexperienced Dom showing such a flippant attitude to consent | |||
"I just don't get some people, the forums I thought were for fun. . Obviously some people's humour isn't the same as another's .
Yes, they're here for fun, not joking about abuse.
If it happened to you, you wouldn't think it was funny or harmless.
I don't get some people either. In this case anyone who can joke or support someone making jokes about non-consensual behaviour.
Some things are too serious to joke about.
At least on of the "jokers" has clarified his position, (and knowing the attitude of the other one, I don't expect responsible behaviour from him), so unless people continue to attack me, I'll let the matter drop.
I will respond to further comments about this being a joke though. Since that wasn't the original subject of the thread, anyone continuing it is as guilty as I am of taking the thread off topic.
it has happened to me..yet i dont carry the baggage around with me, because i dealt with it..so dont assume that people who have been through it, cant get over stuff and have their GSOH intact,and remain flexible in their perception of things, instead of remaining victims all the time....that's extremely dis-empowering
you're welcome OP..don't like the thread topic, leave it alone...
The thread topic is fine.
Making a joke of non-consensual play and abuse is not.
By all means continue to drag the thread off topic again though, as you are complaining I did, now it's back on track again."you dont like it when you are being questioned huh? you attacked people and then you started on the. "if it had happened to you" bull so people would back off..not expecting anyone to call you, on it as that of course would be socially unacceptable...right?? ..bascially you like being agreed with,or giving out your view because its seemingly important... because it suits you now you are telling me its my fault for not 'sitting down and shutting up'..well my lovely, some of us dont like being told by passive aggressive means, to behave ourselves and do everything we are told, by you.. its laughable.. polar fox, excuse me, however someone hadto speak up, yes one of my things would be to explore rope work and being suspended..would be awesome..one of these days..working through other types of restraint atm | |||
"Love it, as long as I'm the Domme." Really? Any interest in non sexual play . I don't really need a sexual partner. But some times my inner masachist could use a little buttering up... I'm sorry forget that this probably isn't the place . | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
Of course I would and I'm sure the poster of this comment was just being tongue in cheek....more a reference to her inablity to move once restrained...I certainly took it as joking.... "Mind games and this sort of unsaid threat is a huge turn on, especially when there's not a thing you can do about it... but as someone has already said, it's all about consensual play/sex and it's a very fine line as to what is acceptable, one of the reasons I would never allow myself to be restrained by anyone i have never met before. | |||
"Love it, as long as I'm the Domme. Really? Any interest in non sexual play . I don't really need a sexual partner. But some times my inner masachist could use a little buttering up... I'm sorry forget that this probably isn't the place . " Now I've gone back and read the follow up posts deffo not the place | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
Of course I would and I'm sure the poster of this comment was just being tongue in cheek....more a reference to her inablity to move once restrained...I certainly took it as joking....
Mind games and this sort of unsaid threat is a huge turn on, especially when there's not a thing you can do about it...
but as someone has already said, it's all about consensual play/sex and it's a very fine line as to what is acceptable, one of the reasons I would never allow myself to be restrained by anyone i have never met before."It's about respecting the respect someone has for their body for me..... that and not trying to second-guess OR project semantics. | |||
" I want a bunny tail butt plug
" Wouldn't we all...!!! | |||
"I just don't get some people, the forums I thought were for fun. . Obviously some people's humour isn't the same as another's .
Yes, they're here for fun, not joking about abuse.
If it happened to you, you wouldn't think it was funny or harmless.
I don't get some people either. In this case anyone who can joke or support someone making jokes about non-consensual behaviour.
Some things are too serious to joke about.
At least on of the "jokers" has clarified his position, (and knowing the attitude of the other one, I don't expect responsible behaviour from him), so unless people continue to attack me, I'll let the matter drop.
I will respond to further comments about this being a joke though. Since that wasn't the original subject of the thread, anyone continuing it is as guilty as I am of taking the thread off topic.
it has happened to me..yet i dont carry the baggage around with me, because i dealt with it..so dont assume that people who have been through it, cant get over stuff and have their GSOH intact,and remain flexible in their perception of things, instead of remaining victims all the time....that's extremely dis-empowering
you're welcome OP..don't like the thread topic, leave it alone...
The thread topic is fine.
Making a joke of non-consensual play and abuse is not.
By all means continue to drag the thread off topic again though, as you are complaining I did, now it's back on track again.
you dont like it when you are being questioned huh? you attacked people and then you started on the. "if it had happened to you" bull so people would back off..not expecting anyone to call you, on it as that of course would be socially unacceptable...right??
..bascially you like being agreed with,or giving out your view because its seemingly important... because it suits you
now you are telling me its my fault for not 'sitting down and shutting up'..well my lovely, some of us dont like being told by passive aggressive means, to behave ourselves and do everything we are told, by you..
its laughable..
polar fox, excuse me, however someone hadto speak up, yes one of my things would be to explore rope work and being suspended..would be awesome..one of these days..working through other types of restraint atm "I couldn't give a monkey's if you "call me on it". I'm merely pointing out it's now you dragging the thread off topic, not me. The matter had been resolved and the thread was back on topic. By all means carry on. I can hold my own against you perfectly well. If you have been in this situation and can still laugh about it, which I find doubtful, it's pretty fucking selfish to assume because you still find it funny, that everyone else who has experienced it should also be able to find it funny. I know plenty of people who've been through it who don't think it's a laughing matter or harmless, and not one that would laugh about it. So perhaps you are the exception and not the rule by which everyone should be judged. But hey, as long as you find it funny, it's everyone else that has the problem. The sort of behaviour being treated as a joke here would be considered absolutely deplorable in BDSM circles. An experienced, responsible Dominant would never treat it as harmless or funny. | |||
" I want a bunny tail butt plug
Wouldn't we all...!!! "Extreme Restraints used to sell a gorgeous one. I don't know if they still do. | |||
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"I just don't get some people, the forums I thought were for fun. . Obviously some people's humour isn't the same as another's .
Yes, they're here for fun, not joking about abuse.
If it happened to you, you wouldn't think it was funny or harmless.
I don't get some people either. In this case anyone who can joke or support someone making jokes about non-consensual behaviour.
Some things are too serious to joke about.
At least on of the "jokers" has clarified his position, (and knowing the attitude of the other one, I don't expect responsible behaviour from him), so unless people continue to attack me, I'll let the matter drop.
I will respond to further comments about this being a joke though. Since that wasn't the original subject of the thread, anyone continuing it is as guilty as I am of taking the thread off topic.
it has happened to me..yet i dont carry the baggage around with me, because i dealt with it..so dont assume that people who have been through it, cant get over stuff and have their GSOH intact,and remain flexible in their perception of things, instead of remaining victims all the time....that's extremely dis-empowering
you're welcome OP..don't like the thread topic, leave it alone...
The thread topic is fine.
Making a joke of non-consensual play and abuse is not.
By all means continue to drag the thread off topic again though, as you are complaining I did, now it's back on track again.
I have to agree. A lot of subs will run a mile from an inexperienced Dom showing such a flippant attitude to consent"
The natural response to the "quip" from anyone I know in the BDSM world would be to say it's not a joking matter, not to say "lol "
At least one of the original posters has clarified his position. | |||
"I just don't get some people, the forums I thought were for fun. . Obviously some people's humour isn't the same as another's .
Yes, they're here for fun, not joking about abuse.
If it happened to you, you wouldn't think it was funny or harmless.
I don't get some people either. In this case anyone who can joke or support someone making jokes about non-consensual behaviour.
Some things are too serious to joke about.
At least on of the "jokers" has clarified his position, (and knowing the attitude of the other one, I don't expect responsible behaviour from him), so unless people continue to attack me, I'll let the matter drop.
I will respond to further comments about this being a joke though. Since that wasn't the original subject of the thread, anyone continuing it is as guilty as I am of taking the thread off topic.
it has happened to me..yet i dont carry the baggage around with me, because i dealt with it..so dont assume that people who have been through it, cant get over stuff and have their GSOH intact,and remain flexible in their perception of things, instead of remaining victims all the time....that's extremely dis-empowering
you're welcome OP..don't like the thread topic, leave it alone...
The thread topic is fine.
Making a joke of non-consensual play and abuse is not.
By all means continue to drag the thread off topic again though, as you are complaining I did, now it's back on track again.
you dont like it when you are being questioned huh? you attacked people and then you started on the. "if it had happened to you" bull so people would back off..not expecting anyone to call you, on it as that of course would be socially unacceptable...right??
..bascially you like being agreed with,or giving out your view because its seemingly important... because it suits you
now you are telling me its my fault for not 'sitting down and shutting up'..well my lovely, some of us dont like being told by passive aggressive means, to behave ourselves and do everything we are told, by you..
its laughable..
polar fox, excuse me, however someone hadto speak up, yes one of my things would be to explore rope work and being suspended..would be awesome..one of these days..working through other types of restraint atm
I couldn't give a monkey's if you "call me on it".
I'm merely pointing out it's now you dragging the thread off topic, not me. The matter had been resolved and the thread was back on topic. By all means carry on. I can hold my own against you perfectly well.
If you have been in this situation and can still laugh about it, which I find doubtful, it's pretty fucking selfish to assume because you still find it funny, that everyone else who has experienced it should also be able to find it funny.
I know plenty of people who've been through it who don't think it's a laughing matter or harmless, and not one that would laugh about it. So perhaps you are the exception and not the rule by which everyone should be judged. But hey, as long as you find it funny, it's everyone else that has the problem.
The sort of behaviour being treated as a joke here would be considered absolutely deplorable in BDSM circles. An experienced, responsible Dominant would never treat it as harmless or funny."hold your own against me?..hahaha weird perception you have..why are you against anyone, or could i say constantly against everyone..? i think you just made the point, you like to make up fights because you think you're good at it, or something im glad you dont mind.. i'm fascinated by your behaviour xx | |||
" hold your own against me?..hahaha weird perception you have..why are you against anyone, or could i say constantly against everyone..? i think you just made the point, you like to make up fights because you think you're good at it, or something im glad you dont mind.. i'm fascinated by your behaviour xx" You were the one that felt the need to "call me out" even after the disagreement was over. And it takes two to argue, in case you hadn't noticed. Nobody was arguing until you piped up with your "calling me out". There's nothing funny, nothing at all, about non-consensual sexual behaviour and abuse, so it's hardly a made up reason for a disagreement. | |||
" hold your own against me?..hahaha weird perception you have..why are you against anyone, or could i say constantly against everyone..? i think you just made the point, you like to make up fights because you think you're good at it, or something im glad you dont mind.. i'm fascinated by your behaviour xx You were the one that felt the need to "call me out" even after the disagreement was over. And it takes two to argue, in case you hadn't noticed. Nobody was arguing until you piped up with your "calling me out". There's nothing funny, nothing at all, about non-consensual sexual behaviour and abuse, so it's hardly a made up reason for a disagreement." ive enjoyed every last second of it | |||
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"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about."Quite truthfully if it was me they would be castrated. | |||
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"Now that you've agreed on the consent issue, can you please explain what is "anal hook" play? A metal hook with a ball on the hook end and a loop on the other end. The ball end is inserted into the anus and used in bondage and restraint." Oh dear lord! No, thanks. I saw a suspension pic using one, scary!!!!! | |||
"I recently had a meet where I was required to play a much more obviously dominant role than I am used to. It was fun and different. I'm also chatting to a woman who I hope to meet up with who is into more serious SM and bondage type play...she has expressed a desire not only to use restraints, but also to experiment with an anal hook and open mouth gag....I'm hugely turned on by the prospect of this kind of experience and very keen to try it out. What are your feelings on this kind of play?" I'm up for this kind of play. Nothing to extreme. Iv recently purchased a Anal Hook and looking forward to trying it out, so seeing the tips are useful | |||
"I recently had a meet where I was required to play a much more obviously dominant role than I am used to. It was fun and different. I'm also chatting to a woman who I hope to meet up with who is into more serious SM and bondage type play...she has expressed a desire not only to use restraints, but also to experiment with an anal hook and open mouth gag....I'm hugely turned on by the prospect of this kind of experience and very keen to try it out. What are your feelings on this kind of play? I'm up for this kind of play. Nothing to extreme. Iv recently purchased a Anal Hook and looking forward to trying it out, so seeing the tips are useful "I've just purchased a little selection of naughty items...seemed like high time (regardless of whether the potential meet I have mentioned comes off or not). I'm very excited about getting to try some of them out on willing and consenting play partners....anal hook yet to be ordered | |||
"Now that you've agreed on the consent issue, can you please explain what is "anal hook" play? A metal hook with a ball on the hook end and a loop on the other end. The ball end is inserted into the anus and used in bondage and restraint. Oh dear lord! No, thanks. I saw a suspension pic using one, scary!!!!!" I'm certainly not looking to experiment with anything as hardore as that yet! ...also, only to be carried out by a very experienced dom I would suggest | |||
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"I'm certainly not looking to experiment with anything as hardore as that yet! ...also, only to be carried out by a very experienced dom I would suggest " | |||
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"Ooh what a thread! My 2p, joking, larking or joshing about consent is never groovy. Ever. In any context. Thanks. OP, I'd suggest doing some research. Screw The Roses, Send Me Thorns was my bible when starting out. 50 Shites has opened up BDSM to the masses (which can be a good thing) but many girls who've got themselves a damp gusset over it and starts pursuing Dom's go in naively and leave themselves open to abuse. And for many, it's just a fantasy. Have fun. Safe, sane, consensual. Always. " More sound advice...thanks | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about." | |||
"Love this kind of play - don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks tied up awaiting your attentions - take photos too! M x ...she will indeed look amazing tied up and awaiting my attention...I'm just praying the meet comes off...you can never quite be sure at this stage of communication...Also, yes, will definitely take lots of pics!!
well once you have her restrained and with anal hook in place she is in no position to refuse a cheeky pic or three
That should be discussed and agreed beforehand. At the very least permission should be sought at the time.
Nobody should ever ignore someone's limits because they are restrained and can't stop you.
That's a dreadful attitude and a complete abuse of the trust given to the Top.
If anyone ignored my limits when I wasn't in a position to stop them, I'd safeword immediately and that would be the end of the meet.
I'm shocked anyone would even think this and think it would be something to laugh about.
God I hate it when a harmless comment is picked up on by some highly strung individual and suddenly the whole nature and focus of a thread changes...its almost the equivalent of trolling in the case of some people and is a right pain for those who might have been enjoying the original questions raised!! "Your comment here demonstrates exactly the type of person you are. | |||
"I recently had a meet where I was required to play a much more obviously dominant role than I am used to. It was fun and different. I'm also chatting to a woman who I hope to meet up with who is into more serious SM and bondage type play...she has expressed a desire not only to use restraints, but also to experiment with an anal hook and open mouth gag....I'm hugely turned on by the prospect of this kind of experience and very keen to try it out. What are your feelings on this kind of play? I'm up for this kind of play. Nothing to extreme. Iv recently purchased a Anal Hook and looking forward to trying it out, so seeing the tips are useful
I've just purchased a little selection of naughty items...seemed like high time (regardless of whether the potential meet I have mentioned comes off or not). I'm very excited about getting to try some of them out on willing and consenting play partners....anal hook yet to be ordered"As others have suggested, do your homework on the items purchased and read up on BDSM | |||
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"Ooh what a thread! My 2p, joking, larking or joshing about consent is never groovy. Ever. In any context. Thanks. OP, I'd suggest doing some research. Screw The Roses, Send Me Thorns was my bible when starting out. 50 Shites has opened up BDSM to the masses (which can be a good thing) but many girls who've got themselves a damp gusset over it and starts pursuing Dom's go in naively and leave themselves open to abuse. And for many, it's just a fantasy. Have fun. Safe, sane, consensual. Always. " great suggestion of book to read .. Anyone got any other good intelligent books on the subject...  | |||
"I recently had a meet where I was required to play a much more obviously dominant role than I am used to. It was fun and different. I'm also chatting to a woman who I hope to meet up with who is into more serious SM and bondage type play...she has expressed a desire not only to use restraints, but also to experiment with an anal hook and open mouth gag....I'm hugely turned on by the prospect of this kind of experience and very keen to try it out. What are your feelings on this kind of play? I'm up for this kind of play. Nothing to extreme. Iv recently purchased a Anal Hook and looking forward to trying it out, so seeing the tips are useful "Use lube and in the rope make certain there is a quick release link as sometimes knots can be err kind of difficult to undo Naughty | |||
"I recently had a meet where I was required to play a much more obviously dominant role than I am used to. It was fun and different. I'm also chatting to a woman who I hope to meet up with who is into more serious SM and bondage type play...she has expressed a desire not only to use restraints, but also to experiment with an anal hook and open mouth gag....I'm hugely turned on by the prospect of this kind of experience and very keen to try it out. What are your feelings on this kind of play? I'm up for this kind of play. Nothing to extreme. Iv recently purchased a Anal Hook and looking forward to trying it out, so seeing the tips are useful
Use lube and in the rope make certain there is a quick release link as sometimes knots can be err kind of difficult to undo Naughty "Thank you for your tips....actually I did get to use some of my new toys on the lovely lady of a couple I met on Friday....great start | |||
"I recently had a meet where I was required to play a much more obviously dominant role than I am used to. It was fun and different. I'm also chatting to a woman who I hope to meet up with who is into more serious SM and bondage type play...she has expressed a desire not only to use restraints, but also to experiment with an anal hook and open mouth gag....I'm hugely turned on by the prospect of this kind of experience and very keen to try it out. What are your feelings on this kind of play? I'm up for this kind of play. Nothing to extreme. Iv recently purchased a Anal Hook and looking forward to trying it out, so seeing the tips are useful
Use lube and in the rope make certain there is a quick release link as sometimes knots can be err kind of difficult to undo Naughty
Thank you for your tips....actually I did get to use some of my new toys on the lovely lady of a couple I met on Friday....great start "Oh, not the hook though....that still hasn't arrived yet | |||
"Love it, as long as I'm the Domme." Mmmmm you can domme me | |||
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