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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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i met this lass, we went back to mine for a drink, anyhow we were kissing and i slipped my hand down her nickers for a feel of the old bermuda triangle, she said to me, would you like your palm read, i replied why.. are you a clairvoyant, no she replies am fucking on..
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I was thrown out of a top restaurant because when I asked for a simple very very rare steak, the waiter said "one bloody steak....and would sir require anything with that?"
My response was "there is only one thing to have with a bloody steak and that is a fucking portion of chips"
Boom Boom |
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Alternatively
I once heard about the most motivated sperm in history. It wanted to be the single sperm that fertilized the egg. It didn't want to be second. It wanted to be the champion and it made no bones about telling it's fellow sperm that it would be the first and the greatest.
The moment of the great event drew near. The red light went on and the sperm jostled its way to near the front. It was determined to fertilize that egg. It was sure it would be the winner. The light turned green and off the sperm and his colleagues went. The sperm pushed itself to the front. It was going to fertilize that egg at any cost. It was away in front and it's fellow sperm were quite put out. They had lost and he would undoubtedly win.
But they were somewhat dumbfounded to find that halfway along their journey, they saw this champion sperm flying back towards them.
"What's the matter?"
"Quick lads, back.....I thought there was something wrong when I arrived at the tonsils." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Alternatively
I once heard about the most motivated sperm in history. It wanted to be the single sperm that fertilized the egg. It didn't want to be second. It wanted to be the champion and it made no bones about telling it's fellow sperm that it would be the first and the greatest.
The moment of the great event drew near. The red light went on and the sperm jostled its way to near the front. It was determined to fertilize that egg. It was sure it would be the winner. The light turned green and off the sperm and his colleagues went. The sperm pushed itself to the front. It was going to fertilize that egg at any cost. It was away in front and it's fellow sperm were quite put out. They had lost and he would undoubtedly win.
But they were somewhat dumbfounded to find that halfway along their journey, they saw this champion sperm flying back towards them.
"What's the matter?"
"Quick lads, back.....I thought there was something wrong when I arrived at the tonsils." "
heard similar, when the keen sperm turns back shouting back back were realy in the shit now
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A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!" |
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