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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have noticed something when talking to female friends and reading on the forums about that many women like to feel they are the centre of attention on meets...
But on more intimate meets this is something I actively avoid being... And I'm wondering if it contributes to a many of my less amazing meets.... I kinda always stay somewhat engaged and take on more of a voyeur, and almost directing roll.
By that I mean that I will often manoeuvre myself so that I can help the two guys with the lady if it becomes two pairs as opposed to enjoying a straight swap.
If its a 3sum with a lady then I like to focus everything on her pleasure and my partners , which means I get pleasure.
On the flip side as a gg I can enjoy the non intimate but I could no longer just do that as I find it empty if that's all I do.
I know as a sexual journey I've travelled a long way from where I was 3 years ago and am enjoying so many new experiences but I just cant relax and enjoy another person by myself ...
I like to get other peoples views as it may give a insight that I am to close to the subject to consider.
I for instance will cancel a meet if a guy tries to flirt and wants to chat loads before a meet. I have very limited contact with meets at all.. yet it is obvious from people we meet that I'm seen as friendly and approacable.. yet the moment its sexual I keep a barrier up.. I want it to be just the physical and I would rather someone else be the centre of attention especially if it's intimate rather than purely sexual.
I know till I started playing as a couple intimacy and sex were something I had never mixed ( own personal past issues ) yet I have managed to over come So many things with my partners patience and support. But there are still many things that even though if I enjoy them with Mr, the chances are if I let myself out 100% into the person I'm Actually engaging with rather than stil making it about other people. I'd no doubt get more out of it.
But how do you do that... When my comfort zone is to only be the centre of attention to someone I trust x
Sorryh had a bad nights sleep and thoughtful today |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agree with all your points we believe all play should be mutual with no one person the centre of attention, we avoid the hot wife profiles because of this... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Agree with all your points we believe all play should be mutual with no one person the centre of attention, we avoid the hot wife profiles because of this..."
So maybe I'm feeling an issue where there isn't one then x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I'm very similar OP. I think it's a kind of sub thing. Wanting to please. I hate direct attention but I love to watch and make other people's fantasies happen. And then receive the appreciation from that... if that makes sense? x
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think I'm very similar OP. I think it's a kind of sub thing. Wanting to please. I hate direct attention but I love to watch and make other people's fantasies happen. And then receive the appreciation from that... if that makes sense? x
"
Yes it does. Yet with my partner who is the only person I could submit even a little too I am happy and feel a great sense of release when I get to be the centre of attention with him.
I guess even with gg I'm giving although I love the end result... I am just worrying as Mr can give himself totally to another meet... As can my friends yet I can't. And I feel that I stay to detached x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Agree with all your points we believe all play should be mutual with no one person the centre of attention, we avoid the hot wife profiles because of this...
So maybe I'm feeling an issue where there isn't one then x "
Seems you don't have an issue you just want everyone to enjoy themselves and not in it just for your own pleasure, a rarity be proud xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Agree with all your points we believe all play should be mutual with no one person the centre of attention, we avoid the hot wife profiles because of this..."
 for us ,its a 3way thing.everyone has to be happy . |
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Up to 10 years ago almost all my meets where gangbangs, just cold sex, no kissing, no cuddling never wanted any kind of affection.
Jay taught me differently and I became a warm loving cuddly person with him but still not on meets although I started to kiss, now I'm at the stage where I've become quite affectionate on meets and will actually cuddle.
It's taken me a long time but I've turned full circle I can't actually see myself doing any gangbangs in the future but never say never but its 9 years since my last one, more than happy with what I'm doing now |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Up to 10 years ago almost all my meets where gangbangs, just cold sex, no kissing, no cuddling never wanted any kind of affection.
Jay taught me differently and I became a warm loving cuddly person with him but still not on meets although I started to kiss, now I'm at the stage where I've become quite affectionate on meets and will actually cuddle.
It's taken me a long time but I've turned full circle I can't actually see myself doing any gangbangs in the future but never say never but its 9 years since my last one, more than happy with what I'm doing now"
Thank you. I can totally see myself in your comments.. I spent most of my sexual life doing emotionless sex... No cuddling. No affection. I am getting better.. but I get a bit panicked if anyone else wants to be affectionate with me. I think it's why I fear being alone as its very hard not to have someone else's undivided attention when it's just you and them.
Thank you x I do still enjoy group stuff but even that has changed focus for me... And I love it when Mr gets to be as naughty as me or he enjoys watching. I certainly couldn't do it without now x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I understand what you are saying OP. For me, I think it really depends on the situation. In a mfm threesome, I like having the attention of both men. In those scenarios, I enjoy being the center of attention. That doesn't mean that I don't care about the pleasure of the men involved. It means I want their attention to give them pleasure. I like being the reason they are going to cum.
However, when we are meeting a couple or playing in a group, then I do not want to be the center of attention at all. I like the dynamic of the group -the mutual enjoyment. I like seeing two guys (or more, or women) please another woman.
I think for me, how much attention I want really depends on the type of meet we are looking for. Not sure if thay makes sense...
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I understand what you are saying OP. For me, I think it really depends on the situation. In a mfm threesome, I like having the attention of both men. In those scenarios, I enjoy being the center of attention. That doesn't mean that I don't care about the pleasure of the men involved. It means I want their attention to give them pleasure. I like being the reason they are going to cum.
However, when we are meeting a couple or playing in a group, then I do not want to be the center of attention at all. I like the dynamic of the group -the mutual enjoyment. I like seeing two guys (or more, or women) please another woman.
I think for me, how much attention I want really depends on the type of meet we are looking for. Not sure if thay makes sense...
-Courtney"
Yeah this is very much me too x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I understand what you are saying OP. For me, I think it really depends on the situation. In a mfm threesome, I like having the attention of both men. In those scenarios, I enjoy being the center of attention. That doesn't mean that I don't care about the pleasure of the men involved. It means I want their attention to give them pleasure. I like being the reason they are going to cum.
However, when we are meeting a couple or playing in a group, then I do not want to be the center of attention at all. I like the dynamic of the group -the mutual enjoyment. I like seeing two guys (or more, or women) please another woman.
I think for me, how much attention I want really depends on the type of meet we are looking for. Not sure if thay makes sense...
-Courtney"
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