FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > social meets
social meets
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi to all.
We are fairly new to the lifestyle. Still finding our feet as such.
We just wondered what people's thoughts were on a social meets before actually playing. We met a lovely couple in the week, over a few drinks, loads on laughs. Hope to have fun soon with them.
Then on the other hand, mentioned a social meet in messages to another couple and messages stop and get deleted off their friends list?
Thoughts? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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some arent interested in the social side of things..it doesnt make them non sociable..they might just not like going out for drinks/meals...
time constraints for many mean theyd rather have the social and play option..within the first meet at least. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like a social,occasionally, helps me get to know a guy a little more.Offering to meet for a drink can also the timewasters out. As have found many will talk,but don't actually want to do anything more,so decline .
Her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But ive found that many who insist on socials end up never playing....they just want to find someone to socialise with  "
We don't always insist.. but sometimes you get a gut feeling and just want it clarifying . Our socials often mean it can be just me (her) his work often means he can't be there. . But as I pretty much make the decisions on who we meet and play with,it suits. .us. . Each to their own as they say . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like a social,occasionally, helps me get to know a guy a little more.Offering to meet for a drink can also the timewasters out. As have found many will talk,but don't actually want to do anything more,so decline .
Her "
Its also true that some 'timewwasters' are only willing to do social meets..no intent on ever playing..which is fine..of course..
In many peoples eyes, they might not ber considered as genuinely well suited to progressing onto the next level..
some couples get off on the mere idea of meeting for sex, but never actually follow it through, and on occasions I've seen some inexperienced couples become quite insecure with eachother and others...which can be worse to be part of or observe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like a social,occasionally, helps me get to know a guy a little more.Offering to meet for a drink can also the timewasters out. As have found many will talk,but don't actually want to do anything more,so decline .
Her
Its also true that some 'timewwasters' are only willing to do social meets..no intent on ever playing..which is fine..of course..
In many peoples eyes, they might not ber considered as genuinely well suited to progressing onto the next level..
some couples get off on the mere idea of meeting for sex, but never actually follow it through, and on occasions I've seen some inexperienced couples become quite insecure with eachother and others...which can be worse to be part of or observe."
We've also found,that a social can hinder, you meet for a drink,click etc . But then getting diaries to match,can be a nightmare,and put a dampner on things.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like a social,occasionally, helps me get to know a guy a little more.Offering to meet for a drink can also the timewasters out. As have found many will talk,but don't actually want to do anything more,so decline .
Her
Its also true that some 'timewwasters' are only willing to do social meets..no intent on ever playing..which is fine..of course..
In many peoples eyes, they might not ber considered as genuinely well suited to progressing onto the next level..
some couples get off on the mere idea of meeting for sex, but never actually follow it through, and on occasions I've seen some inexperienced couples become quite insecure with eachother and others...which can be worse to be part of or observe.
We've also found,that a social can hinder, you meet for a drink,click etc . But then getting diaries to match,can be a nightmare,and put a dampner on things.. "
Anpother problem is people tend to think the other party hasnt been talking to anyone else..
so the couple that you met last week for a social cant meet next week for play, but another couple that youv'e been chatting to also want a social meet next week, then the couple you previously met for a social the other week want a play meet next week, but the couple you..
I could go on lol..but you get my drift..
I fail to see how a social meet shouldnt intertwined with a play meet..if everyone gets on initially.
If everyones free that night,and have the same time constraints..why the fuck not just go for it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like a social,occasionally, helps me get to know a guy a little more.Offering to meet for a drink can also the timewasters out. As have found many will talk,but don't actually want to do anything more,so decline .
Her
Its also true that some 'timewwasters' are only willing to do social meets..no intent on ever playing..which is fine..of course..
In many peoples eyes, they might not ber considered as genuinely well suited to progressing onto the next level..
some couples get off on the mere idea of meeting for sex, but never actually follow it through, and on occasions I've seen some inexperienced couples become quite insecure with eachother and others...which can be worse to be part of or observe.
We've also found,that a social can hinder, you meet for a drink,click etc . But then getting diaries to match,can be a nightmare,and put a dampner on things..
Anpother problem is people tend to think the other party hasnt been talking to anyone else..
so the couple that you met last week for a social cant meet next week for play, but another couple that youv'e been chatting to also want a social meet next week, then the couple you previously met for a social the other week want a play meet next week, but the couple you..
I could go on lol..but you get my drift..
I fail to see how a social meet shouldnt intertwined with a play meet..if everyone gets on initially.
If everyones free that night,and have the same time constraints..why the fuck not just go for it?"
Exactly, we've played it all ways. . Sometimes it works ,sometimes it doesn't..but yep,I get ya drift |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely a social meet for us first too and we're definitely not just out looking for people to socialise with we've got plenty of other friends for that, although having said that, we have met people that we haven't played with but still socialise with. |
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We don't mind having socials but as our free time to have fun is limited we tend to just go straight to the fun part.
Nice to get to know someone over a few drinks but for us it's a chance wasted. |
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"Hi to all.
We are fairly new to the lifestyle. Still finding our feet as such.
We just wondered what people's thoughts were on a social meets before actually playing. We met a lovely couple in the week, over a few drinks, loads on laughs. Hope to have fun soon with them.
Then on the other hand, mentioned a social meet in messages to another couple and messages stop and get deleted off their friends list?
Thoughts?"
My thoughts are that you have your way of playing and others have theirs. If they don't match it simply means that you aren't suited, nothing more. The one thing that's vital in swinging is to stick with what you're most comfortable with and only change if you want to.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We enjoy social only meets sometimes, we just like a clear definition before the meet ie social only with no chance to play then we don't put on all the naughty underwear, bag of toys etc lol.
Do it how you want to do it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We like a social or even two before we would consider a play meet. The (couple) who blocked you were probably just a man pick hunting and wanting you to send him sexy messages they always dissappear if you ask them to meet or prove who they are! |
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"We like a social or even two before we would consider a play meet. The (couple) who blocked you were probably just a man pick hunting and wanting you to send him sexy messages they always dissappear if you ask them to meet or prove who they are! "
The couple who blocked them probably did so because they knew they weren't compatible. |
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I've dodged many a bullet having a social meet. I make it quite clear it will be a social meet, usually coffee at lunch time or a drink after work.
No one has to accept my meet criteria. I may meet at weekends if I'm interested. That's why I don't play at clubs: I can't just do it.
We all do what works for us and we'll meet like minded people along the way.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We like a social or even two before we would consider a play meet. The (couple) who blocked you were probably just a man pick hunting and wanting you to send him sexy messages they always dissappear if you ask them to meet or prove who they are!
The couple who blocked them probably did so because they knew they weren't compatible."
They asked for a meet to see if they were compatible! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Turned into an argument this is why there is no "timewaster" list on fab some consider the OP social first couple to be timewasters, some consider the people who blocked them to be a guy hence a timewaster.......
Logic dictates everyone's different and goes about this in a different way x |
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"We like a social or even two before we would consider a play meet. The (couple) who blocked you were probably just a man pick hunting and wanting you to send him sexy messages they always dissappear if you ask them to meet or prove who they are!
The couple who blocked them probably did so because they knew they weren't compatible.
They asked for a meet to see if they were compatible! "
The couple who blocked probably don't do social meets......they weren't compatible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Turned into an argument this is why there is no "timewaster" list on fab some consider the OP social first couple to be timewasters, some consider the people who blocked them to be a guy hence a timewaster.......
Logic dictates everyone's different and goes about this in a different way x"
 |
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By *D40Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Hi to all.
We are fairly new to the lifestyle. Still finding our feet as such.
We just wondered what people's thoughts were on a social meets before actually playing. We met a lovely couple in the week, over a few drinks, loads on laughs. Hope to have fun soon with them.
Then on the other hand, mentioned a social meet in messages to another couple and messages stop and get deleted off their friends list?
Thoughts?"
First meet we did was for a drink at someones house & they knew we would not be playing... I was brand new to the scene. We went back at a later date & played & a fab time was had.
This is my preference as i cant judge if i want to play based on a pic or a message. I need personality to get my juices flowing... Much better for us not to promise then any action is a bonus
Mrs _d40 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi to all.
We are fairly new to the lifestyle. Still finding our feet as such.
We just wondered what people's thoughts were on a social meets before actually playing. We met a lovely couple in the week, over a few drinks, loads on laughs. Hope to have fun soon with them.
Then on the other hand, mentioned a social meet in messages to another couple and messages stop and get deleted off their friends list?
Thoughts?"
Experiences may vary but we've found an insistence on social meets first is a very effective measure of thinning out the timewasters and weirdos.
We've heard tales of single guys thinking they're going to meet a couple and just a bloke turns up offering a BJ. Along the lines of 'well you're here now why not?'
A social first is our preference as we meet the person and know how we gel with them. Also takes the pressure off with the 'what if you don't like them?' question. No awkwardness as it was just a social anyway.
Others prefer to get straight into it as they don't want to form attachments to people, or they can't wait, or whatever reason they have, and great for them...you play the way that makes sense to you, good luck. |
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By *etzPlayCouple
over a year ago
Southend |
"We like a social or even two before we would consider a play meet. The (couple) who blocked you were probably just a man pick hunting and wanting you to send him sexy messages they always dissappear if you ask them to meet or prove who they are!
The couple who blocked them probably did so because they knew they weren't compatible.
They asked for a meet to see if they were compatible!
The couple who blocked probably don't do social meets......they weren't compatible."
Agreed, We don't usually do socials unless your a single female and we preblock profiles which demand a social first xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Agreed, We don't usually do socials unless your a single female and we preblock profiles which demand a social first xx"
Should say we don't demand a social if there's distance involved. If we're meeting someone from 100 miles away clearly a social isn't feasible. We do make it clear that we would support them if they got cold feet and we'd expect same. Doubtful that would happen (and hasn't to date) but best have it in reserve.
|
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By *etzPlayCouple
over a year ago
Southend |
"Agreed, We don't usually do socials unless your a single female and we preblock profiles which demand a social first xx
Should say we don't demand a social if there's distance involved. If we're meeting someone from 100 miles away clearly a social isn't feasible. We do make it clear that we would support them if they got cold feet and we'd expect same. Doubtful that would happen (and hasn't to date) but best have it in reserve.
"
If it were a long distance we webcam first, but still no social lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it were a long distance we webcam first, but still no social lol xx"
Might be why you preblocked us lol. We don't do cams, don't even own one. We wouldn't travel 100 miles if our pics weren't accurate and up to date either though. |
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By *etzPlayCouple
over a year ago
Southend |
"If it were a long distance we webcam first, but still no social lol xx
Might be why you preblocked us lol. We don't do cams, don't even own one. We wouldn't travel 100 miles if our pics weren't accurate and up to date either though. "
If we had preblock you, how could you know what we look like or even be interested in us? Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it were a long distance we webcam first, but still no social lol xx
Might be why you preblocked us lol. We don't do cams, don't even own one. We wouldn't travel 100 miles if our pics weren't accurate and up to date either though.
If we had preblock you, how could you know what we look like or even be interested in us? Xx"
I don't. We were talking about who blocked who the other day is all. It's fine though, just seems this might be a potential reason as we used to have it on our text 'strictly social meets only', which we've changed a little since. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never used to do socials, but I like my socials now and plenty are happy to meet up for a coffee"
That's what we've found. Also helped wife discover more about the guy and see if she likes them or not. She's met some she hasn't taken further, but one got a veri out of it that he didn't have so it helped him on his way. |
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By *etzPlayCouple
over a year ago
Southend |
"If it were a long distance we webcam first, but still no social lol xx
Might be why you preblocked us lol. We don't do cams, don't even own one. We wouldn't travel 100 miles if our pics weren't accurate and up to date either though.
If we had preblock you, how could you know what we look like or even be interested in us? Xx
I don't. We were talking about who blocked who the other day is all. It's fine though, just seems this might be a potential reason as we used to have it on our text 'strictly social meets only', which we've changed a little since."
Ok, I've unblocked you lol xx Your 300 miles away and do bareback, not for us. Trust the preblock system xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I would prefer to meet the couple first over a drink or two, get to know them and make sure that both parties are comfortable before any play materialises |
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By *etzPlayCouple
over a year ago
Southend |
"Personally I would prefer to meet the couple first over a drink or two, get to know them and make sure that both parties are comfortable before any play materialises "
If we did that with every single guy we fancied we'd die of alcohol poisoning lmao |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Time restrictions mean that for us we meet to play. But before a meet we have exchanged facial pics and always have girl to girl chat to out timewasters. Can usually tell after the phone call who is or isn't genuine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I would prefer to meet the couple first over a drink or two, get to know them and make sure that both parties are comfortable before any play materialises
If we did that with every single guy we fancied we'd die of alcohol poisoning lmao"
You're Southerners, you'll only be drinking shandy anyway    |
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By *etzPlayCouple
over a year ago
Southend |
"Personally I would prefer to meet the couple first over a drink or two, get to know them and make sure that both parties are comfortable before any play materialises
If we did that with every single guy we fancied we'd die of alcohol poisoning lmao
You're Southerners, you'll only be drinking shandy anyway "
I'll have you know we're on Slimming World and therefore only drink Vodka!lol
And I never drink in dates as my cock stops working lmao xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll have you know we're on Slimming World and therefore only drink Vodka!lol
And I never drink in dates as my cock stops working lmao xx"
Lol I (he) am same. Cock still works but end up needing a pee every five bloomin' minutes lol. Another reason to have social first...can get straight to business on the actual meet without any farting about  |
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By *etzPlayCouple
over a year ago
Southend |
"I'll have you know we're on Slimming World and therefore only drink Vodka!lol
And I never drink in dates as my cock stops working lmao xx
Lol I (he) am same. Cock still works but end up needing a pee every five bloomin' minutes lol. Another reason to have social first...can get straight to business on the actual meet without any farting about "
We do all our homework on here, then meet, chat for 10 to 20 mins to make sure we're all cool and then . . . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I would prefer to meet the couple first over a drink or two, get to know them and make sure that both parties are comfortable before any play materialises
If we did that with every single guy we fancied we'd die of alcohol poisoning lmao
You're Southerners, you'll only be drinking shandy anyway "
Nop! Not me. My usual is an orange juice or a . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like a social meet first, I wouldn't meet purely for a social though
I like to meet somewhere for a drink and chat first with the understanding if we click we will have sex that night
I see no point at all meeting somebody, getting on, flirting all night, making it obvious we like each other to arrange to meet another night for sex, if I like you I want you NOW not three week on Wednesday when we are both free again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if you want a social meet before a play meet you have one - its your life - if you get deleted by those that dont its no biggy just means that you want different things - |
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"if you want a social meet before a play meet you have one - its your life - if you get deleted by those that dont its no biggy just means that you want different things - "
Agreed: you meet like minded people, so do whatever suits you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Socials please...some lucky escapes to be had "
Do you really think that if one doesn't do social meets that it equates to not being able to make an escape if that person isn't suitable ?
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wouldn't dream of wasting an evening doing a social . Been there , done that , complete waste of time "
Obviously if the idea is meeting a stranger and satisfy some fantasies, meeting a person and maybe moving towards becoming friends is a complete waste of time. Ah well, swinging is all about using others and being used, isn't it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wouldn't dream of wasting an evening doing a social . Been there , done that , complete waste of time
Obviously if the idea is meeting a stranger and satisfy some fantasies, meeting a person and maybe moving towards becoming friends is a complete waste of time. Ah well, swinging is all about using others and being used, isn't it?"
I sense a certain sarcasm in your post , which is fine . Some define swinging as a way to make friends and socialising and we respect that .
However some see swinging as an opportunity to enjoy NSA sexual encounters with like minded people , and the emphasis on friendship and socialising is minimal .
Having fantasies and exploring them with others is not a bad thing is it ?
Others have fantasies they wish to explore too , and do just that with us .
None of us see ourselves as being used !
We see swinging differently and that should be respected , not criticised .
You swing your way , we'lol swing ours and we should all be happy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like a social meet up and if all goes along play on first meet or arrange another day! I'm the same, I like to see how we click first "
This is how I like to do it too. Gives a opportunity to see if they match their profile pic too. Obviously, the same goes for the person you are meeting to make sure you are genuine too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wouldn't dream of wasting an evening doing a social . Been there , done that , complete waste of time
Obviously if the idea is meeting a stranger and satisfy some fantasies, meeting a person and maybe moving towards becoming friends is a complete waste of time. Ah well, swinging is all about using others and being used, isn't it?
I sense a certain sarcasm in your post , which is fine . Some define swinging as a way to make friends and socialising and we respect that .
However some see swinging as an opportunity to enjoy NSA sexual encounters with like minded people , and the emphasis on friendship and socialising is minimal .
Having fantasies and exploring them with others is not a bad thing is it ?
Others have fantasies they wish to explore too , and do just that with us .
None of us see ourselves as being used !
We see swinging differently and that should be respected , not criticised .
You swing your way , we'lol swing ours and we should all be happy "
It's funny (sad) when people think their way is the right way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wouldn't dream of wasting an evening doing a social . Been there , done that , complete waste of time
Obviously if the idea is meeting a stranger and satisfy some fantasies, meeting a person and maybe moving towards becoming friends is a complete waste of time. Ah well, swinging is all about using others and being used, isn't it?
I sense a certain sarcasm in your post , which is fine . Some define swinging as a way to make friends and socialising and we respect that .
However some see swinging as an opportunity to enjoy NSA sexual encounters with like minded people , and the emphasis on friendship and socialising is minimal .
Having fantasies and exploring them with others is not a bad thing is it ?
Others have fantasies they wish to explore too , and do just that with us .
None of us see ourselves as being used !
We see swinging differently and that should be respected , not criticised .
You swing your way , we'lol swing ours and we should all be happy "
I agree entirely with this. Everyone should do what makes them happy on here and stop criticising others for doing things differently to themselves. |
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"Wouldn't dream of wasting an evening doing a social . Been there , done that , complete waste of time
Obviously if the idea is meeting a stranger and satisfy some fantasies, meeting a person and maybe moving towards becoming friends is a complete waste of time. Ah well, swinging is all about using others and being used, isn't it?
I sense a certain sarcasm in your post , which is fine . Some define swinging as a way to make friends and socialising and we respect that .
However some see swinging as an opportunity to enjoy NSA sexual encounters with like minded people , and the emphasis on friendship and socialising is minimal .
Having fantasies and exploring them with others is not a bad thing is it ?
Others have fantasies they wish to explore too , and do just that with us .
None of us see ourselves as being used !
We see swinging differently and that should be respected , not criticised .
You swing your way , we'lol swing ours and we should all be happy
It's funny (sad) when people think their way is the right way. "
Except when it's me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love a good social! ive been told I'm easy to talk to...saying that I had a social 2 weeks ago and she hasn't logged on since!? Hope it wasn't something I said!?  |
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"Socials please...some lucky escapes to be had
Do you really think that if one doesn't do social meets that it equates to not being able to make an escape if that person isn't suitable ?
"
Not speaking for anyone else, but as I met at home when I was single, and no one knows this aspect of my life, I've met socially men who I was very uncomfortable with/revealed things if I'd known I wouldn't have met in a month of Sundays.
It's easier to walk away from a social than "trapped" in your home.
We do what is comfortable for us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love a good social! ive been told I'm easy to talk to...saying that I had a social 2 weeks ago and she hasn't logged on since!? Hope it wasn't something I said!? "
Wife's had socials with guys where she didn't feel the connection. She's messaged them to tell them straight but a lot of people feel awkward saying it. Wouldn't take it personal, it's just how it goes sometimes. One of the guys she said she could have sat talking to him for hours and hours as she got on really well with him, but no sexual spark. |
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social meet for us before anything.. if we are going to have fun with one another it would be nice to feel a connection with them, have that chemistry going of... we wont fuck someone who we dont like wheres the logic in that aha so yeah personal preference i guess |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But ive found that many who insist on socials end up never playing....they just want to find someone to socialise with "
My socials are to find out if there is a connection by chatting, if there isnt, well sex isnt going to happen is it. If there is one and the man is willing, then another meet can be arranged for fun etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi to all.
We are fairly new to the lifestyle. Still finding our feet as such.
We just wondered what people's thoughts were on a social meets before actually playing. We met a lovely couple in the week, over a few drinks, loads on laughs. Hope to have fun soon with them.
Then on the other hand, mentioned a social meet in messages to another couple and messages stop and get deleted off their friends list?
Thoughts?"
knackers....if you cant interact with people why follow the sex thing through |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love a good social! ive been told I'm easy to talk to...saying that I had a social 2 weeks ago and she hasn't logged on since!? Hope it wasn't something I said!? "
maybe you left her stunned and speechless |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love a good social! ive been told I'm easy to talk to...saying that I had a social 2 weeks ago and she hasn't logged on since!? Hope it wasn't something I said!?
maybe you left her stunned and speechless "
Ha ha! This will now become the official story. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love a good social! ive been told I'm easy to talk to...saying that I had a social 2 weeks ago and she hasn't logged on since!? Hope it wasn't something I said!?
maybe you left her stunned and speechless
Ha ha! This will now become the official story. "
thats the way - lost for words |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Socials please...some lucky escapes to be had
Do you really think that if one doesn't do social meets that it equates to not being able to make an escape if that person isn't suitable ?
"
Personally, if I'd arranged to meet for sex, and I didn't fancy the woman, I'd find it extremely awkward and I'd feel awful. Personally, I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings, still, maybe that's just me. Know how I'd feel if the boot was on the other foot. Fortunately, I've never put myself in that position, so it works for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't accommodate but will share /pay for hotel or meet at a club so prefer to meet socially first so there's little or no uncomfortable silences when play is on cards...also love to get out n just chill with others with the same openness about sex...don't have to watch what you say lol...have 's fantastic group of friends met this way... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't consider having sex without the social first..what if you turn up and find you're not attracted to them? You never can be 100% sure by photos and a few messages alone. I'd need to be sure there is chemistry first. If sex happens on the same day as the social..bonus! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We haven't had a meet yet but ideally if we get to have a social,it would be no obligation for either of us go for a dringlk and If we went home separate that would be ok but if we click we'd be willing to play that night. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We prefer to meet under the assumption that it's a social meet but make it clear we are happy to play on that first meet if the chemistry is there.
We never expect/promise play when first meeting someone, as for us the social connection has to be there first.
We know some people prefer to meet, play and go, so have been put off by the suggestion of a social but that's not our style and we are happy for those people to pass us by.
Sasha x
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"We prefer to meet under the assumption that it's a social meet but make it clear we are happy to play on that first meet if the chemistry is there.
We never expect/promise play when first meeting someone, as for us the social connection has to be there first.
We know some people prefer to meet, play and go, so have been put off by the suggestion of a social but that's not our style and we are happy for those people to pass us by.
Sasha x
"
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