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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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we havent been on this site very long but we have noticed how clickey it is trying to chat to couples in the same area. Some are very quick to stab others in the back and we have already been told who to meet and who to avoid! But surely shouldnt that be for us to decide? Why do people have to run their mouths and spoil it for other people? Or are we mistaking it for politeness? Every one likes differnt types and one cpl may click with a person to where another wil not. So why cant we keep our mouths shut? Does anyone ever take notice of the gossip? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you have the right attitude, I never listen to gossip. Always make my own mind up about a person be it work based, friendship, or someone from here.
Let the gossips gossip between themselves while you both enjoy the fun that can be had from this site |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
If people I know come to the site I would always reccomend nice people to them(ones I have found as nice) and would also mention a problem with a person if the new person was arranging to meet them as basically informing them.
But that is just down to my experience and am fully aware that other people like different things to me.
In the same way I would reccomend any club that I like but again one mans meat and all that.
It is hard being new with lots of people to get to know and chat with,hard but exciting x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people have nothing better to do with there lifes then make up things about others as it makes them feel good about themselfs doing that. I would never go on here say what others say , We are very diffrent and thats what makes this fun swinging , Some click with others like themselfs as it makes them feel safe and others like to control people around them. We are who we are end of the day and why should we have to deal with other peoples hang-ups about others. |
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Gossip should be treated as just that idle gossip.
If you see a few couples moaning about another couple (e.g. late for meets always, photos out of kilter with current shape), then maybe something to it. But as we are all different it is a case of if they appear of interest to you, then talk to them.
Any social site which has forum, chatrooms can get a little like an exclusive club, just hang around and chat, be yourselfs and you will in time feel part of the place.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Clickey groups are everywhere. Been to clubs and its the same, and also had a chat with a guy local to me and he went on and on about what 'he heard' about the other local guys. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
people always like to throw around the word "clicky"... the way i look at the site and clubs is no different than the way I would look at a pub or social clubs..
you are going to know people have been interacting for a long time before you even step foot in....
you wouldn't expect people to just greet you with up arm and open up in a pub to strangers straight away.... so why would you expect people to do so in other walks of life....
of course people are going to be guarded till they know you a little....
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I have never bad mouthed nor 'reccommended' any one - I wouldn't feel that I had the right to 'chose' other people's playmates. Also, not really had any one gossip to me about other people either! I'd ignore or take with a bit pinch of salt what others say, hidden agenda's, jealousies etc make your own minds up. Z |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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oooh oooh oooh, we're in the same area os the OP. Would love to know the gossip.
We don't adhere to the clicke. We play with who we like... regardless of what others think.
Sod em, I say. |
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"we havent been on this site very long but we have noticed how clickey it is trying to chat to couples in the same area. Some are very quick to stab others in the back and we have already been told who to meet and who to avoid! But surely shouldnt that be for us to decide? Why do people have to run their mouths and spoil it for other people? Or are we mistaking it for politeness? Every one likes differnt types and one cpl may click with a person to where another wil not. So why cant we keep our mouths shut? Does anyone ever take notice of the gossip? "
If some of the regulars in chatrooms actually spoke to you without you having to show something then take it as a compliment..you must be doing something right! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"people always like to throw around the word "clicky"... the way i look at the site and clubs is no different than the way I would look at a pub or social clubs..
you are going to know people have been interacting for a long time before you even step foot in....
you wouldn't expect people to just greet you with up arm and open up in a pub to strangers straight away.... so why would you expect people to do so in other walks of life....
of course people are going to be guarded till they know you a little....
"
Thats a very well made point Fabio, just because we're online and on a forum, why should people act any differently to how they would in "real life"? We can't just expect to walk in 'by right' and be accepted. I do think it's wrong however that people are recommending some and 'dissing' others, we should be able to make up our own minds as responsible, intelligent adults.
Soap box removed, walks away quietly  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And of course after 4 weeks on the site, blundering into the forums calling folks 'clickey' will make you so much more popular with the membership ....."
I don't realy think that's fair to the OP
They were not saying people were cliquey (which any comunity is going to be) but asking why it was so? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And of course after 4 weeks on the site, blundering into the forums calling folks 'clickey' will make you so much more popular with the membership .....
I don't realy think that's fair to the OP
They were not saying people were cliquey (which any comunity is going to be) but asking why it was so?"
I agree,they are new to the site and probably wondering if its normal for people to say who to meet and who to avoid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd have to agree with the original post from the OP, irrespective of the lenght of time they've been a member on here!
As swingers, we all no doubt are members of others sites too, where we've experienced exactly the same thing and where this topic has arose.
Cliques or the appearance of being 'clickey' appears in both the chatrooms and indeed here!
Sometimes you can predict purely by the nature of the topic of the thread, who will reply and indeed the nature of the reply, it will either be 'oh great post, let's have fun now' or a 'gathering of forumites' to move the topic away too further enhance their popularity.
Whilst some will not like my post and there is nothing personal in my reply, I'm only stating what appears to most as obvious.
Bip/Dastardly
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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some ppl cnt help thinking coz they been on site longer that they r the big boys and girls of the swinging world i gues then. Wel age and looks are what we are attractd to aswel as personality not some 50yr old has beens which to be fair as u get older it gets less attractive! I love forums coz u get a wide range of oppinions hense why i posted. But freedom off speech and all. I gues in life ur always guna get back stabbers and people telling tales. For what reason jealously? Feel threatened? Insecure? Who knows it just happens and now we no that people are maybe looking out bt also looking after their own interests. Obviously people wil make friends and chat thru here. Gues we wil make our own minds up and see how it goes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"some ppl cnt help thinking coz they been on site longer that they r the big boys and girls of the swinging world i gues then. Wel age and looks are what we are attractd to aswel as personality not some 50yr old has beens which to be fair as u get older it gets less attractive! I love forums coz u get a wide range of oppinions hense why i posted. But freedom off speech and all. I gues in life ur always guna get back stabbers and people telling tales. For what reason jealously? Feel threatened? Insecure? Who knows it just happens and now we no that people are maybe looking out bt also looking after their own interests. Obviously people wil make friends and chat thru here. Gues we wil make our own minds up and see how it goes. "
I'm not a 50 year old has been! I'm an open minded, non judgemental individual! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"some ppl cnt help thinking coz they been on site longer that they r the big boys and girls of the swinging world i gues then. Wel age and looks are what we are attractd to aswel as personality not some 50yr old has beens which to be fair as u get older it gets less attractive! I love forums coz u get a wide range of oppinions hense why i posted. But freedom off speech and all. I gues in life ur always guna get back stabbers and people telling tales. For what reason jealously? Feel threatened? Insecure? Who knows it just happens and now we no that people are maybe looking out bt also looking after their own interests. Obviously people wil make friends and chat thru here. Gues we wil make our own minds up and see how it goes. "
1. I was sort of sympathetic to your post up until this bad mannered outburst
and
2. You met at Uni?? Really?? All I can say is that standards in spelling, syntax and grammar have dropped considerably since I went. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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mmmmmmmmmmmm i love it how people get all defensive. on this site coz a person is bi or coz we are all swingers doesnt mean we are all going to like each other. as for my spelling if you can read it its ok?? i love it how the post always sways off the origional subject. i was just voicing my oppinion. my oppinion wasnt aimed towards any one on this site inparticular it was an expression in defence to only been on the site 4 weeks! just shows how quick people are to judge one another yet it wasnt a personal aim at any one yet you can pick up on my spelling? which then does get personal... |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
This thread is very confusing.
OP asked a slightly naïve question, but because it included the word clique, some responses have focussed on that.
Later, OP has apparently turned on the responders and accused them of being a clique, somewhat egged on by a couple of others.
And now it's a slanging match.
OP - suggest if your question has been answered, walk away from the thread, if not rephrase it on a new thread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldnt recommend or advise against anyone either - it has to be a personal choice. I dont know what others are looking for and how someone interacts with me might be entirely different to how they would be with someone else.
I find it quite distasteful to go around discussing others in a sexual way too - I would cringe if someone was talking about my sexual technique to others  |
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"I wouldnt recommend or advise against anyone either - it has to be a personal choice. I dont know what others are looking for and how someone interacts with me might be entirely different to how they would be with someone else.
I find it quite distasteful to go around discussing others in a sexual way too - I would cringe if someone was talking about my sexual technique to others "
Don't worry they only have good things to say about you....although some were a little worried about the flask of tea you bring to meets? whats that all about?  |
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from a near 50yo has been! 