FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Sitting back and waiting...
Sitting back and waiting...
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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago
North Cambs |
As I look back over my few months on fab since returning earlier in the year I realize that the vast majority of my meets and connections which I'm hopeful will soon end up in a meet, have nearly all come from women or couples making the first contact. Sometimes this is a message, often a wink and sometimes its just a 'fabbed' pic by someone who I like the look of which prompts me to get in touch.
Does this all mean that maybe us guys are best off just putting togehter a half decent profile and then sitting back and waiting for women or couples to find and contact us if they like what they see?
It seems to me that endlessly casting the line randomly and hoping that we get a bite, very rarely ends up with properly landing a catch... |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
Almost all of the people that Ive met are from me making the first contact, so I see where you are coming from.
But you see numerous posts where women say that they would never make the first move because they 'dont have to' so I doubt that it would work for most guys.... |
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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago
North Cambs |
"I don't send many messages and it says so on my profile been that way for over 18 months and I do ok the longest I went without a meet was 4 months so yes it does work."
Hmmm...4 months is kind of a long time though....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone I messaged first, I ended up meeting so I guess it does make sense.
Seems like you're limiting your chances if you expect it to come to you though. |
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"A varied approach is best, I think. "
I think the trick is to find the balance between perseverance and letting them come to you.
I'm far from an expert but I imagine you have to rely on your judgment to see the best approach which can't be taught hence the amount of "why can't I get a meet" posts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The single guys on our friends list are those we have approached that we have either found through looking ourselves and being impressed by their profile and niche skills or by word of mouth on the party and club scene.
A lot to be said for sitting back and creating a good reputation for yourself. Those that "get it" will truly get it!!  |
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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago
North Cambs |
"Everyone I messaged first, I ended up meeting so I guess it does make sense.
"
Yes, but, given that you are a woman, that kind of goes along with what I'm suggesting about women contacting the men they are interested in... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Almost all of the people that Ive met are from me making the first contact, so I see where you are coming from.
But you see numerous posts where women say that they would never make the first move because they 'dont have to' so I doubt that it would work for most guys...."
Same here. Of the 5 guys I've met on this profile, one I already knew and made first contact with a couple of years ago, the other 4 I winked at. They had a nice selection of photos and a well written profile which sparked my interest. Of the many that first contacted me, most conversations tail off to nothing after I suggest a meet, they go unlos or just stop chatting so guys, a well written profile is worth the effort. |
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"The single guys on our friends list are those we have approached that we have either found through looking ourselves and being impressed by their profile and niche skills or by word of mouth on the party and club scene.
A lot to be said for sitting back and creating a good reputation for yourself. Those that "get it" will truly get it!!
"
This to a certain extent, for example, I met a lady off fab and she liked me so she recommended me out to her friends so for a few hectic weeks I was passed around for nsa sex. |
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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago
North Cambs |
"Most of our meets have been from us making the first contact.
If we sat back and waited, we would never get any.  "
Again, given that you are a couple, I imagine the dynamic is slightly different from single male profiles on here... |
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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago
North Cambs |
"The single guys on our friends list are those we have approached that we have either found through looking ourselves and being impressed by their profile and niche skills or by word of mouth on the party and club scene.
A lot to be said for sitting back and creating a good reputation for yourself. Those that "get it" will truly get it!! "
True...and fortunately I seem to be doing ok on the 'getting it' front  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"As I look back over my few months on fab since returning earlier in the year I realize that the vast majority of my meets and connections which I'm hopeful will soon end up in a meet, have nearly all come from women or couples making the first contact. Sometimes this is a message, often a wink and sometimes its just a 'fabbed' pic by someone who I like the look of which prompts me to get in touch.
Does this all mean that maybe us guys are best off just putting togehter a half decent profile and then sitting back and waiting for women or couples to find and contact us if they like what they see?
It seems to me that endlessly casting the line randomly and hoping that we get a bite, very rarely ends up with properly landing a catch..."
That's what I used to do.
Worked for me!
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everyone I messaged first, I ended up meeting so I guess it does make sense.
Yes, but, given that you are a woman, that kind of goes along with what I'm suggesting about women contacting the men they are interested in..."
Wasn't disagreeing that you've a better chance of a meet if the other party shows interest first. I just think I met some nice guys who messaged me first too, and if they hadn't had bothered, we both would have missed out. |
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"I don't send many messages and it says so on my profile been that way for over 18 months and I do ok the longest I went without a meet was 4 months so yes it does work.
Hmmm...4 months is kind of a long time though.... "
$ months is nothing I have spoken to guys at partys and socials who hav,nt had a meet for over 12 months so for me at nearly 60 4 months is ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The single guys on our friends list are those we have approached that we have either found through looking ourselves and being impressed by their profile and niche skills or by word of mouth on the party and club scene.
A lot to be said for sitting back and creating a good reputation for yourself. Those that "get it" will truly get it!!
True...and fortunately I seem to be doing ok on the 'getting it' front "
Getters get um..............got  |
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"IM too shy too ever make the first move....
At least by broadcasting that fact you are highly likely to attract attention from one or two hansome chaps who happen to read this thread.. "
Send one to polar fox |
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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago
North Cambs |
"The single guys on our friends list are those we have approached that we have either found through looking ourselves and being impressed by their profile and niche skills or by word of mouth on the party and club scene.
A lot to be said for sitting back and creating a good reputation for yourself. Those that "get it" will truly get it!!
True...and fortunately I seem to be doing ok on the 'getting it' front
Getters get um..............got "
You've got a great way with words  |
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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago
North Cambs |
"Everyone I messaged first, I ended up meeting so I guess it does make sense.
Yes, but, given that you are a woman, that kind of goes along with what I'm suggesting about women contacting the men they are interested in...
Wasn't disagreeing that you've a better chance of a meet if the other party shows interest first. I just think I met some nice guys who messaged me first too, and if they hadn't had bothered, we both would have missed out. "
Sure...that makes good sense |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I havent put any effort in yet to get meets lol. you need to lose the flab, mate! "
lol its ok. I am not in a hurry. Other things like training comes first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't send many messages and it says so on my profile been that way for over 18 months and I do ok the longest I went without a meet was 4 months so yes it does work.
Hmmm...4 months is kind of a long time though.... "
I was thinking that myself....... But the OP has a point in that a decent profile, keeping status updated and, yes, being here in the forums will attract some attention....which may then be acted on? |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"
Does this all mean that maybe us guys are best off just putting togehter a half decent profile and then sitting back and waiting for women or couples to find and contact us if they like what they see?
It seems to me that endlessly casting the line randomly and hoping that we get a bite, very rarely ends up with properly landing a catch...
That's what I used to do.
Worked for me!
A"
Yes but you have a big cock... |
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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago
North Cambs |
"I don't send many messages and it says so on my profile been that way for over 18 months and I do ok the longest I went without a meet was 4 months so yes it does work.
Hmmm...4 months is kind of a long time though.... $ months is nothing I have spoken to guys at partys and socials who hav,nt had a meet for over 12 months so for me at nearly 60 4 months is ok"
Yes I agree...I'm sorry, I didn't mean any offence and yes, at 60, you are doing mighty well indeed!! |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
Like to mess about in the forums and not go actively, what feels like, hunting.
Prefer to meet people with a mind of their own and mutual attraction and needs.
So, I'm fairly passive about looking for meets, however that's where the passive bit stops. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I do occasionally go on the hunt, unfortunately, only 3 men caught my attention at the weekend, due to the vast amount of poorly written profiles (1 line saying here for fun) and no pics.
And I wonder why men on here whine about people not meeting when they have made the barest of effort. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I havent put any effort in yet to get meets lol. you need to lose the flab, mate!
Had to laugh at this....because clearly shag is soooooooo fat!  "
I think he meant fab there typo. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"
Does this all mean that maybe us guys are best off just putting togehter a half decent profile and then sitting back and waiting for women or couples to find and contact us if they like what they see?
It seems to me that endlessly casting the line randomly and hoping that we get a bite, very rarely ends up with properly landing a catch...
That's what I used to do.
Worked for me!
A
Yes but you have a big cock... "
I'm so glad you didn't say 'awesome' 
A
*on a cautionary note to single guys - this approach may end up in marriage!! |
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